The Only Obama Dog Story You Need.

Not that you actually need one at all. But if you did, the Daily Telegraph has the one for you.

And, best of all, it's actually written by ~~Charlie~~ Bo himself! Try to spin that, Axelturfers.

A small taste of the pizza to whet your appetite:

Talking of "the One", apparently I'm his first broken campaign promise. Well, thanks for that. He said he'd get some kind of shelter mutt and then he changes his mind and comes up with me - a Portuguese pure bred. Talk about sky-high negatives before you've even started.
Trust me, this will all end in tears. These Obama people have never even owned a dog and - I'm being frank here - I just don't trust these Democrats. What happened to the last pets they had in the White House? That cat Socks got dumped on Bill Clinton's secretary Bettie Currie and his dog Buddy got mysteriously run over by a truck.

Go over to the Telegraph for the rest of the pie.

Posted by: Jack M. at 06:07 PM

Comments

1 But I thought Barak already married a dog?

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 13, 2009 06:11 PM (iafWn)

2 Who would have thought that we'd get all of this hysterical material from the UK?

Posted by: shibumi at April 13, 2009 06:12 PM (OKZrE)

3 Worst of all guy's, I saw Michelle just today, walk in with a bag full of Skippy.

Not good.

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:12 PM (+FzLa)

4 Why me?...why me?

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:13 PM (DrB2V)

5 Shibumi,

I know what you mean. It's just such a damn shame that there is nothing funny about this President. Nothing at all.

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 06:13 PM (eOEgY)

6 WOOF-WOOF! Woof, woof, woof....WOOF!

Posted by: Bo's Teleprompter at April 13, 2009 06:14 PM (DrB2V)

7 Woof! Woof! The things Bubba did to me with a cigar! Woof!

Posted by: Zombie Buddy at April 13, 2009 06:14 PM (iafWn)

OT, but I see that Phil Spector was convicted of murder.

This is really bad news for the lace wigs industry.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at April 13, 2009 06:15 PM (ACDor)

9 Thanks. I needed the laugh. TOTUS and Bo should team up together to write a tell all book about obama.

Posted by: Ginger at April 13, 2009 06:16 PM (yFFcb)

10 HEY!!!...I just made some ONE...get it?

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:16 PM (DrB2V)

11 9 Thanks. I needed the laugh. TOTUS and Bo should team up together to write a tell all book about obama.

...we've already been muzzled...

Posted by: Bo and His Teleprompter at April 13, 2009 06:18 PM (DrB2V)

I saw a few minutes of a either a celebrity show or a fluff piece on MSM news last week that was discussing presidential dogs that conveniently omitted telling viewers about Buddy being hit by a truck while roaming unsupervised but found the time to point out Barney biting two people [sic]*. Self-censorship in action by the Deciders even over a minor item like presidential dogs.

BTW, has the new puppy said he won't be taking private fundraising dollars?

[*They were reporters, after all.]

Posted by: andycanuck at April 13, 2009 06:18 PM (vulJH)

13 The part of Ted Kennedy's dog being named "Splash"; are all those pervs and soaks so fucking out of it that nobody had the goddamn sense to tell that fat turd to think how that might sound to the Kopechnes. Not that any of those fucking lowlifes ever care about "other people" since their extended family includes murderers and rapists.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 13, 2009 06:18 PM (dYNX5)

14 Get that thing off of me... He's raising his leg... Uhhh... He just peed on me.

Posted by: TOTUS at April 13, 2009 06:20 PM (+sBB4)

15 No offense to other dogs, but why is this dog getting a special roll out?

Posted by: Ginger at April 13, 2009 06:20 PM (yFFcb)

16 Why, oh WHY did I ever get into that idiot's CAR!!!

Posted by: Mary Jo Kopechne from Heaven at April 13, 2009 06:21 PM (DrB2V)

17 15 No offense to other dogs, but why is this dog getting a special roll out?

Cause that's the way I roll, y'know.

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:22 PM (DrB2V)

18 Bo knows.

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:22 PM (+sBB4)

BTW, shouldn't the O be spelling the dog's name "Beau" to show the importance of bilingualism to a person's education? He is a Columbia grad, after all.

Posted by: andycanuck at April 13, 2009 06:22 PM (vulJH)

20 14 Get that thing off of me... He's raising his leg... Uhhh... He just peed on me.

Here comes my next trick...I'm leaving a 'deuce' by Michelle's side of the bed...OH YEAH!

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:23 PM (DrB2V)

21 What was the poor dog wearing? Obviously Bo is being dressed by the same folks that advise Michelle. Poor thing. I wonder who takes it out to pee in the middle of the night?

Posted by: Trish at April 13, 2009 06:24 PM (0U5Kd)

22 I know what you mean. It's just such a damn shame that there is nothing funny about this President. Nothing at all.

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 06:13 PM (eOEgY)

Well, on the positive side, in one fell swoop, America has created an entire cottage industry for the comic/satirical writers on the other sidee of The Pond.

/Coming soon to the NYT: Obama creates windfall for humor writers in UK, solves all of their financial woes!

Posted by: shibumi at April 13, 2009 06:24 PM (OKZrE)

23 Barney biting two people [sic]*.

[*They were reporters, after all.]

Greatest first dog moment evarrrrrr!! Scotties can be onery little fucks; that's why I like 'em.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 13, 2009 06:24 PM (dYNX5)

24 I am filing a case a name infringement.

Posted by: Bo Duke at April 13, 2009 06:25 PM (+sBB4)

25 what did some trailer park whore already pick toby up from the shelter? after all he's been through...

Posted by: unamerican hate mongering evil libertarian at April 13, 2009 06:25 PM (2J+Vs)

26 Am I the only one who recognizes that 'Bo' = Barack Obama? Wait'll the libtards see this post!

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:25 PM (DrB2V)

27 Splash ? Appropriately named Kennedy dog, since that pretty sum's up what happens now, when Teddy sits down hard with his Depends on.

Posted by: Blazer at April 13, 2009 06:25 PM (+FzLa)

28 Can't what for the holiday Bo cam. That dog will probably have his tongue buried up The Uniters ass the whole time.

Posted by: Roadking at April 13, 2009 06:26 PM (JpfXc)

29 27 Splash ? Appropriately named Kennedy dog, since that pretty sum's up what happens now, when Teddy sits down hard with his Depends on.

OHHHHHHHHHHH...Totally GNARLY!

Posted by: Jeff Spicoli at April 13, 2009 06:28 PM (DrB2V)

30 Perfect theme song for Bo's walk's with Michelle.

Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)

Posted by: Blazer at April 13, 2009 06:29 PM (+FzLa)

2012 Democrat Ticket: TOTUS and BOTUS

Posted by: runningrn at April 13, 2009 06:30 PM (aC/SY)

32 'Bo' = Barack Obama?

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:25 PM (DrB2V)

Woh!

Posted by: Shocked at April 13, 2009 06:30 PM (+sBB4)

@ shocked

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:32 PM (ewXBY)

Jack, were the empty pizza boxes no longer attracting enough flies for you so you felt the need to add some dog poop? I am already hearing the comments, "the dog flew coach, he was in DC already, he recycles and composts..."

In the overnight I denounced myself but went on to comment that I hope Bo chews up all Michelle's shoes and vomits on Barack's side of the bed. I also hope that he very quickly earns the nickname "Bo Piddly" for his strategically deposited puddles.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2009 06:32 PM (AJ4xq)

2012 Democrat Ticket: TOTUS and BOTUS

Why not? The Constitution doesn't mean shit anymore anyway.

ROTFLMAO just the same.

Posted by: RB at April 13, 2009 06:35 PM (ewXBY)

36 Done!

Posted by: Bo Piddly at April 13, 2009 06:37 PM (ewXBY)

37 Actually we shortened it from Boshizzle. Hope you guy's like it just the same.

Posted by: Barack Obama at April 13, 2009 06:37 PM (+FzLa)

30 Perfect theme song for Bo's walk's with Michelle.

Bo deserves better.

Posted by: PETA at April 13, 2009 06:40 PM (ewXBY)

39 Paranoidgirl,

Don't forget the remarkable claim that BOTH Obama AND the pizza store guy were paying for it out of pocket. I loved that one.

But I digress...actually, if the Obominables come back, I'll probably just post the story I have in my e-mail about the death threats the woman who sold Joe Biden a puppy got from the leftards upset that it wasn't a shelter pooch.

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 06:40 PM (eOEgY)

40 It's not a dog; it's a prop.

Posted by: Chas at April 13, 2009 06:40 PM (yjDfo)

41 Call me "Ruffy". I am a shelter dog and this is my story.

I'd been in stir a good long while. Since I was a pup, almost. I was born to a neglectful bitch in a puppy mill out by County Road 5. Three of my litter mates were born dead; one more died in the first week. My bitch of a mother barely noticed.

It didn't take long before my eyes were opened. Strangers came in, peered into our little box, and plucked out my brothers and sisters one by one. But I? I was left. Abandoned, alone, unloved. I had too much of my father in me: his mismatched eyes, his rangy build...his color. To the stuffed-shirt customers at Hatch Purebred Dogs, my mutt of a father marked me as an undesirable.

When I was old enough, I jumped out of the box and ran away. The bastards at the mill probably never even missed me. I knocked around for a couple of years -- starved in winter, boiled in summer, and was harried and harassed by every alpha dog in the county. There were times when death pressed his cold nose to my behind, but I never despaired. I was my own dog, footloose and fancy-free. I even mounted some fine bitches here and there. It was a hard life, but a full one.

Then...disaster. I made the mistake of trusting someone. A little girl. She petted me, gave me a lick of her Rock-it-Pop. She took me home and introduced me to her parents. A hour later I was in the dog pound. Betrayed again.

Life in stir wasn't as bad as it was on the outside, in some ways. They feed you every day. You get reasonably clean water and some clean paper to poop on. I made friends with Butchie, a terrier in the cage next door. He was an old campaigner and a rascal, but he was my friend. And one day he disappeared into the back room and never returned. Lady Bupkins, the spaniel in the cage across the way, told me the hard news: Butchie had gone to the gas. Bastards.

But then, one day, a ray of hope: President Obama announced that he would pick a "shelter mutt" for First Dog. It was my chance! Surely a fellow creature of color could relate to my difficulties in the mainstream dog's world!

On the day of the visit, I licked my coat to a fine gloss and gave my balls a good cleaning while I was at it. Can't be too careful! I had to take a crap something fierce, but I held it in: no one wants a stinky mutt. I saw the First Family enter: regal, smiling, making jokes. I noticed that the First Lady wrinkled her nose and mutter "Pee-yew!", and was alarmed. Would she think it was my dookie percolating on the cement?

The neared the cage, and I sat up straight and puffed out my chest. Plenty of solid mutt muscle there! Clear of eye! Firm of haunch! Pick of the litter!

...and they passed by without a glance. Michelle held her nose the whole time, and I heard one of the little girls say something about "the ugly stinky dog". They left, and there I was...betrayed again. My soul died at that moment. I should never have left the sanctuary of my bitch's womb.

The fat shelter chick Wendy has a TV on her desk, and I see that Obama has picked some Portuguese hairpile as the First Dog. Well, may that fucking inbred pile of yaps and slobber make his life a living hell.

I'm due to take the Long Walk tomorrow. Death once again presses his cold nose against my anal glands. But I'll go out with my head held high and a spring in my step, tail upright. I will approach the Eternal Footman and bite his ass.

When I'm gone, tell them "Ruffie" was here.

Posted by: Monty at April 13, 2009 06:40 PM (dCZbI)

42 A dog pound sounds like fun.

Posted by: andi sullivan at April 13, 2009 06:41 PM (vulJH)

43 STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DOG!

Posted by: BO at April 13, 2009 06:42 PM (ewXBY)

44 I could be a real friend for you in the tick bath, Bo.

Posted by: Mo at April 13, 2009 06:43 PM (vulJH)

45 Ruffy, yours is a sick story I don't think I can read anymore.

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 06:45 PM (ewXBY)

46 Monty made me cry.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2009 06:45 PM (AJ4xq)

It's not a dog; it's a prop.

Exactly right. This is all a doggie distraction since Bush scored one today with the wire taps.

what's that old saying about dogs and owners looking alike ? Poor Bo.

Posted by: paranoid polly at April 13, 2009 06:46 PM (YLNjm)

48 Splash ?

I propose a better name for a pup from the Kennedy clan should be:

BLUB.... Blub...blub... *gurgle*.....

Posted by: TXMarko at April 13, 2009 06:48 PM (dqe6R)

Threadwinner!

11 9 Thanks. I needed the laugh. TOTUS and Bo should team up together to write a tell all book about obama.

...we've already been muzzled...

Posted by: red raging skye at April 13, 2009 06:51 PM (N5xv1)

50 I doubt the girls even asked for the dog in the first place. His story was that he promised the girls a dog if they moved into the White House. Right. So that means they wouldn't have gotten the girls a dog if he'd lost? Wow, what animal lovers they are. The whole thing was probably Axelrod's idea. Just like putting the girls' play set right in back of the Oval Office (we were told it was so Obama could keep an eye on the girls...but, isn't that what Mommy in Chief and Granny in Chief are supposed to be doing?).

Posted by: sydney jane at April 13, 2009 06:55 PM (RflIk)

51 You leave my fucking dog alone!!!

Posted by: Buffalo Bill at April 13, 2009 06:59 PM (DrB2V)

52 Honey, keep that thing OUT of the house, I can't be seen with a flea bag mongrel. No...I don't give a shit what the polls say I am not going to be in the same house with that..kill it, stuff it, feed it to the poor I don't give a shit....but get it the fuck out of MY house.

I love dogs.....on TV... the Dog Whisperer is good to watch but I hate them.

Now get me some eyebrow wax.....and a can a Frebreeze.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at April 13, 2009 07:00 PM (Am6n/)

53 The whole thing was probably Axelrod's idea.

I'm sure that can be accurately posted for everything Bammer the Null does for the next 3.whatever years.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 13, 2009 07:00 PM (dYNX5)

54 How come that dog's blog attracts paying blog ads and I can't?

Posted by: Michelle Malkin at April 13, 2009 07:00 PM (k39jK)

55 His first broken campaign promise? Fucking bullshit. He was breaking campaign promises before he even got elected... most notably his reversal on accepting public funds.

Posted by: Watcher at April 13, 2009 07:02 PM (twRBd)

56 Ah Watcher, give the dog a break...he wasn't even born when Barack Obama started breaking campaign promises!

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 07:04 PM (eOEgY)

57 ZOMG!

DOGS CAN'T TALK!1!!! Jack M's making up stories, again!!!11!

What a laughingstock! People all over the worldare laughing at you, Jack!!!11

Posted by: clueless libtard at April 13, 2009 07:05 PM (MHx40)

58 I wonder who takes it out to pee in the middle of the night?

Given the attitudes of the Obamas, that would most likely be some Major who was unlucky enough to be assigned to the White House as a military attache.

Posted by: Josef K. at April 13, 2009 07:05 PM (Ohodx)

59 WTF, nice collar. Pimp my dog?

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 07:06 PM (VbYNY)

60 "Sir, that shitty smell is not the dog, it's your wife".

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 07:08 PM (VbYNY)

61 Fuck you!

Posted by: The Ghost of Socks the Cat at April 13, 2009 07:08 PM (Klja5)

62 They needed something in the White House to keep the flies off Michelle.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 07:09 PM (VbYNY)

63 It's not 'Bo.'

It's 'Bhussieno.'

But you're not allowed to say the middle part.

Posted by: nickless at April 13, 2009 07:11 PM (MMC8r)

64 Fuck you people!

I died of fucking cat cancer.....

Posted by: The Ghost of Socks the Cat at April 13, 2009 07:12 PM (Klja5)

65 Oh come on, BO, you can't even stick to your promise that you were gonna pick a mutt as your dog?

Posted by: grace at April 13, 2009 07:13 PM (wJnte)

66 BO = Barack Obama ... ha

And he is part black, part white ...

He got into the white house with the help of a wealthy Kennedy

He is not well trained, and seems to come from a foreign country
(Portugal?/Kenya?)

He doesn't speak well without a teleprompter

I'm sure there are more comparisons ...

Posted by: bill at April 13, 2009 07:13 PM (zIEEc)

67 But I thought Barak already married a dog?

Oh, verrry funny!

You people are going to wind up in the FEMA camps...you know that don't you?

Posted by: clueless libtard at April 13, 2009 07:13 PM (MHx40)

68 Is it true that the pooch and Mrs. Lightworker are sharing stylists?

Posted by: Y-not at April 13, 2009 07:17 PM (KQBGs)

@54. Keep trying, andros.

Monty's tale of a mutt's life made me sad. I've always loved mutts rather than the AKC bluebloods with all the hip dysplasia and weak hearts. Bleah!

Posted by: PaleoMedic at April 13, 2009 07:17 PM (yiNoG)

70 Who picked that name?
Dogs don't respond well to a one syllable name that doesn't have a hard consonant.

What you say: Here Bo. Here boy . Come Bo . Bo...Bo..come.
What the dog hears: eRR buh. eRR buh. Kuh buh. Buh...Buh..Kuh.

Dog named Killer: eRR KuheRR. guhD KuheRR.

Posted by: Beto The Elder at April 13, 2009 07:19 PM (G6YRo)

71 This will end badly.

Just ask Buddy and Socks.

Posted by: Sean Bannion at April 13, 2009 07:19 PM (PkVM9)

72 You people are going to wind up in the FEMA camps...you know that don't you?

Don't believe me ? You've been warned. Here's a taste of your punishment.

http://tinyurl.com/5fawwv

Posted by: Fema at April 13, 2009 07:20 PM (+FzLa)

73 Eyes! Must Pluck Out Eyes! Burns...

Posted by: Beto The Elder at April 13, 2009 07:22 PM (G6YRo)

74 Fema, you suck!

Posted by: PaleoMedic at April 13, 2009 07:22 PM (yiNoG)

75 Is it just understood that AoSHq is nsfw?

Posted by: Beto The Elder at April 13, 2009 07:23 PM (G6YRo)

76 @71
Notice how many involved with Bil&Hill have met with accidental ends? Hmmm

Posted by: Beto The Elder at April 13, 2009 07:24 PM (G6YRo)

77 I spoke with the animal shelter's manager, John Fitzgerald, and he gave me some things that we call "facts," ones that cast Obama's dog in an entirely different light.
In fact, Bo was a rescue dog. Not only that, he had bite marks on his scrotum. Not only that, dental records matched the bite marks to Rham Emanuel! John also told me that Obama is one of the most dedicated people he knows to the animal rescue cause.
In fact, he served scraps from last week's interstate pizza lunch to the dog. And in case you morons forgot, the guy was already on a business trip, carbon credits, out of Obama's pocket, flew coach, etc...
Not only that, he recycles about 75% of Bo's dogshit. In fact, reporters at his press briefings report being up to their eyeballs in it.
Not only that, Michelle herself is going into the dogshit recycling business, and has spread the stuff all over that stupid organic garden she has out back. You couldn't find a worse case for dogshit hypocrisy.
Finally, Barack Obama isn't saddling the American taxpayer with the tab for this mutt. He's picking up the tab, for free range organic dog chow, out of his own pocket.

I hope the right continues to "uncover" horrible dogshit scandals like this, so the American people can see how serious they are about fixing the country.

Posted by: Lefty Mc Cut'nPaste at April 13, 2009 07:25 PM (YsSn7)

78 a dog that looks like a macaroon. Well at least its better than one of those pocketmodel rat type dogs.

Posted by: ron dorque at April 13, 2009 07:28 PM (8yNBn)

79 Did you know that the bodypaint artist for Naked Spiderman has a (NSFW) website? Flabby fun galore! Have a ball (or two!)!

Posted by: nickless at April 13, 2009 07:28 PM (MMC8r)

80 Is it true the Dog had a collie from Hollywood flown in so he could sniff gourmet ass?

Posted by: Beto The Elder at April 13, 2009 07:28 PM (G6YRo)

81 I can't believe Allahpundit hasn't posted this yet.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at April 13, 2009 07:29 PM (B69kb)

82 So, a guy who has the initials "B.O." and a really high opinion of himself decides to adopt a dog, and what name does he decide to give it? Wow.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 13, 2009 07:31 PM (H1lkJ)

83 Lefty McCut'nPaste,

You can't possibly be real! You didn't demand a retraction!

(I'm dying here...really nice comment!)

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 07:31 PM (eOEgY)

84 Of course, the dog was named BO. Unfair, since it probably smells better than the President.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at April 13, 2009 07:31 PM (B69kb)

85 You people are going to wind up in the FEMA camps...you know that don't you?

You know, I think I'd rather be in a FEMA camp working on handmade shanks with the other AOS morons than on the outside with the libtards. Sad, but true.

Posted by: shibumi at April 13, 2009 07:31 PM (OKZrE)

86 Monty made me cry.

Me too.

You people are going to wind up in the FEMA camps...you know that don't you?

I'm looking forward to meeting y'all.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 13, 2009 07:32 PM (fVvSB)

87 Gotta love a president who names his own dog after himself...

...or do I?

Posted by: g at April 13, 2009 07:33 PM (FAYNo)

Obama lied, puppies died!

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 13, 2009 07:33 PM (KSnlH)

89 "I can't believe Allahpundit hasn't posted this yet."

As a beta male, I think he is obligated to spend this hour watching "Dancing with the Stars."

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 07:34 PM (eOEgY)

90 .....I'm leaving a 'deuce' by Michelle's side of the bed...

That's how to piss off the wookie...

Posted by: FU52 at April 13, 2009 07:35 PM (xSPT9)

I can't believe Allahpundit hasn't posted this yet.

Give Bo a chance to start hatin' on Sarah Palin and AP will post it post-haste.

Posted by: Bill Carson at April 13, 2009 07:36 PM (hoGdU)

Bo's nothing but a stealth creationist in dog's clothing.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at April 13, 2009 07:39 PM (hoGdU)

93 Naked Captain America.

Posted by: nickless at April 13, 2009 07:40 PM (MMC8r)

94 Oh shit...I just heard Franken was declared the winner in MN...now I'll have to see that asshole hanging around my new house...

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 07:42 PM (DrB2V)

95 94

...on to the MN SC then SCOTUS, if needed...

Posted by: FU52 at April 13, 2009 07:49 PM (xSPT9)

96 54 How come that dog's blog attracts paying blog ads and I can't?

I blame AP. IYKWIM,AITYD

Posted by: UncleFacts at April 13, 2009 07:50 PM (vZVv7)

I think the valu rite has gotten to me. I posted like 10 hours ago that some dickhead would start a thread on this, great! And I don't even get a hat tip.

Did I post on some thread that Ted Kennedy is giving a "Water Dog" because the dog's grandmother found Mary Jo?

I thought so. Does anyone read these posts?

Nap time!

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at April 13, 2009 07:51 PM (2+9Yx)

98 You may call me "Duchess" if you wish. I am a creature of warm southern climes, and I find this cold Yankee dog-jail a...what shall I call it? A humiliation. I was not born for this; I did not live for this. I did not romp with the master's children and lie next to his sick wife for this. But I am old and cannot always get outside before my bladder goes, and so here I am to spend my last days. The master has found me an inconvenience. Perhaps this cold Yankee air has frozen his heart.

Do not grieve for me, beloved ones. I have lived long and seen much. The moon rising over tupelo trees out in the swamps. Fireflies flicking among the cattails by the river. I have chased rabbits through chest-high heather. I have birthed three litters of pups, all fine and strong who still lift their noses to the wind and dream of me on warm summer nights. My days are winding down, whether from the needle in the cold room yonder or just the slow passing of days: my race is nearly run.

I saw them bring Ruffy in. Such a fine young dog, thrawn, bright of eye. A male to quicken any bitch's walk. It has been long since my last heat, but even I felt it -- even I, so full of years. I saw him when the President and his family passed, and I felt the ground tremble as his spirit fell upon it. I wished to go to him as I had done for my own pups, and nuzzle him and let him know that there were souls yet in the world who had a tender thought for him.

They passed him by, and doomed him. Poor boy. I hope there is a Beyond for our kind; I hope to meet him there.

I will follow Ruffy soon enough, if not today then some day soon. No one will rescue me. I do not wish to be rescued, in truth. The world I was born into and loved so well is gone. This northern sun is too pale and weak for me. I cannot hear the cicadas buzzing or the calling of terns across the water. Here there is only the muted whimpering of all these lost souls, and the wretched stench of our own fear always in our nostrils.

Are we toys to be cast aside when we no longer entertain, or become a burden? Do we live in vain?

There is a star visible outside my window. The humans call it the "dog star". I will point my nose at it and howl a little. Perhaps Ruffy will follow my howl into the great Beyond, where rabbits always run and the grass is always green and the smells are always of warmth and sun and good brown earth.

(Okay, I'm going to stop now. I'm bumming myself out.)

Posted by: Monty at April 13, 2009 07:53 PM (dCZbI)

99 Ted Kennedy and BHO aside, it really is a great breed of dog. Portuguese were in our top three when we got our second dog. I really hope that the breed is not over-bred to satisfy the cravings of a bunch of Obamaphiles.

Posted by: Holdfast at April 13, 2009 07:54 PM (Gzb30)

100 When will "Audacity of Poop" come out?

Posted by: Ginger at April 13, 2009 07:54 PM (yFFcb)

101 or "Dreams from my Bitch"?

Posted by: Ginger at April 13, 2009 07:55 PM (yFFcb)

102

#98

Monty, er WTF are you smoking, can you share?

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at April 13, 2009 07:56 PM (2+9Yx)

103 100 When will "Audacity of Poop" come out?

RUFF!

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 07:58 PM (DrB2V)

104 Monty, er WTF are you smoking, can you share?

Naw, I just love cats and dogs. It pisses me off when people insist on purebreds when they could save some poor old dog from being euthanized. Best old dog I ever had was a mutt I rescued from the pound. Same with a dainty old cat I "acquired" when her elderly owner passed on.

Most dogs are better than most people.

Posted by: Monty at April 13, 2009 07:58 PM (dCZbI)

105

#99

you are right, i think Boykin Spaniels here in the South are related to this breed. They are good retrievers.

Think "the one" will hunt her? NOT!

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at April 13, 2009 08:00 PM (2+9Yx)

106 Most dogs are better than most people.

I agree 100%.

Posted by: Ginger at April 13, 2009 08:02 PM (yFFcb)

107 Yahoo has the headline Al Franken wins recount.

Posted by: Mike Caldwell at April 13, 2009 08:03 PM (F1ju8)

108

#104

Yeah, I know my first dog was called Ped, cause he didn't have a Pedigree. A mixed breed can be good dogs. Sometimes better than a pure breed, since they are so fucked up now.

Sorry to screw with you.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at April 13, 2009 08:04 PM (2+9Yx)

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Me too.

Posted by: Alana at April 13, 2009 08:06 PM (JE2zV)

110 The Clinton dog knew too much.Whats next-Mike Vick adopting a pitty.

Posted by: chicocano at April 13, 2009 08:07 PM (P2bg4)

111

Thanks for the support and understanding. It's not like I could choose my owner now was it?

One more favor- could someone please stop Chris Matthews from humping my leg and sniffing my ass? It's getting really fucking annoying.

Leave Olbermann alone though. I didn't mind the handjob one bit.

Posted by: Bo at April 13, 2009 08:08 PM (plsiE)

112 Just FYI, in that last bit I was trying to take off on Faulkner's As I Lay Dying a little bit. It just goes to show that only Faulkner could do Faulkner very well.

Posted by: Monty at April 13, 2009 08:09 PM (dCZbI)

113

Monty made me cry. Again.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 13, 2009 08:09 PM (AJ4xq)

114 Hey! Lay off my dog, OK?

Posted by: Former President-elect Barak Obama at April 13, 2009 08:09 PM (iafWn)

115 In defense of the Obamas - a position God knows I hate to occupy - they decided against a shelter dog because they wanted one that was least allergenic, as one of the kids has allergies.

Posted by: Alana at April 13, 2009 08:11 PM (JE2zV)

116

Most dogs are better than most people.

I agree. But the downside is that dogs take on the characters of their owners, and I live in a neighborhood of bad dogs via bad people. I am self aware enough to know that I would not be a good dog person. But I love good doggies. "Who's a good doggie?"

But I know that sometimes dogs are treated shabbily and it makes me sad. Dogs are pure love and devotion. I am sad for Bo.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at April 13, 2009 08:13 PM (yiNoG)

117 Saw a bumpersticker once : "The more people I meet, the more I like my Dog".

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 08:14 PM (VbYNY)

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In defense of the Obamas - a position God knows I hate to occupy - they decided against a shelter dog because they wanted one that was least allergenic, as one of the kids has allergies.

How is a Burmese Mountain Dog from a breeder less allergenic than one from a shelter?

He can arrange for a pizza guy to fly in but can't find a suitable dog from a shelter? I got my Doberman (purebreed as far as I can tell) from a shelter 4 miles from my house.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 13, 2009 08:16 PM (plsiE)

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122 @121. It was Al Franken. For reals.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at April 13, 2009 09:09 PM (yiNoG)

123 You know, the Portuguese water dog can actually save drowning victims. I can't personally attest to this, but it's what I hear.

Posted by: Uncle Teddy at April 13, 2009 09:11 PM (bB2sB)

124 You know, the Portuguese water dog can actually save drowning victims. I can't personally attest to this, but it's what I hear.

Posted by: Uncle Teddy at April 13, 2009 09:12 PM (bB2sB)

125 Does BO have his own blog yet? He seems to be commenting a lot here.

And oh the inside secrets he will be able to tell.

Posted by: bill at April 13, 2009 09:15 PM (zIEEc)

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128 *ParanoidGirlInSeattle *

heh. guess that clears that up. hahahaa

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Posted by: Uncle Teddy at April 13, 2009 09:11 PM (bB2sB)

I shit you not, I heard some caller on Hannity saying this dog is related to one Ted Kennedy owned about the time he killed that girl. Sad irony, him having a water dog.

Posted by: Former President-elect Barak Obama at April 13, 2009 09:35 PM (iafWn)

130 Talking of "the One", apparently I'm his first broken campaign promise.

His first??? He's up to triple digits by now!!!

Posted by: RoadRunner at April 13, 2009 09:35 PM (UZxIt)

131 Ooops, forgot to change sock-puppets...

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133 Ted Kennedy naming his dog Splash could only be compared to OJ naming his dog Stab.

Posted by: Dirk at April 13, 2009 09:37 PM (QwbNF)

134 At least there's a BO in the White House with a birth certificate.

Posted by: Captain Hate at April 13, 2009 09:41 PM (dYNX5)

135 Poor Barry has to train a fucking dog. And a Portugese water toy too.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 09:51 PM (VbYNY)

136 This mutt looks like our resident Ewok, ACE. In blackface at a ghey pride rally.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 09:54 PM (VbYNY)

137 Seriousluy, i didn''t base my vote on this alone, but i do think it's weird that the Clintons didn't much like their dog or their cat, and the Obamas never had a pet of any kind until now.

The McCains have a whole houseful of pets--stray rescue mutts, turtles, budgies, kittehs--just like the home I grew up in. Bush I and II? Dogs and cats galore. Who you gonna trust?

Posted by: stace at April 13, 2009 10:06 PM (g/wgk)

138 This fucker couldn't keep a pet rock.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 13, 2009 10:29 PM (VbYNY)

139 89 "I can't believe Allahpundit hasn't posted this yet."

As a beta male, I think he is obligated to spend this hour watching "Dancing with the Stars."

Posted by: Jack M. at April 13, 2009 07:34 PM (eOEgY)

Obama "Dancing With The Stars" link. http://tinyurl.com/cjm87y

Posted by: I'll be black in a little while at April 13, 2009 10:35 PM (d6JU5)

140 The Jug Eared Fuck doesn't DESERVE a dog.

Posted by: UncleFacts at April 13, 2009 10:43 PM (vZVv7)

141 BO? The Narcissist in Chief (re)named the dog after HIMSELF??

Well, we can hope the poor thing pees on TOTUS and shorts it out!

Posted by: GatorGirl at April 13, 2009 11:16 PM (XPc+K)

142

If Obama calls out to Bo, "Here, boy! Come here, boy! Good boy!" it can be used against him to show he's a racist because he's not carefully considering his language. Rush will be able to use this against him.

Posted by: patterico (maybe) at April 13, 2009 11:17 PM (vulJH)

143 I think the reason that Democrat presidents don't like animals may be because they're self-absorbed asshole douchebags. That's just my theory.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at April 13, 2009 11:20 PM (LZHNT)

144

How is a Burmese Mountain Dog from a breeder less allergenic than one from a shelter?

He can arrange for a pizza guy to fly in but can't find a suitable dog from a shelter? I got my Doberman (purebreed as far as I can tell) from a shelter 4 miles from my house.

I don't know, but some dogs cause less of an allergic reaction than others. For instance, I have discovered that I'm less allergic to poodles than other dogs. Something to do with the dander, I suppose?

As for the training of this dog, he has already been trained. He apparently just did a month-long stint, or something, of training.

Posted by: Alana at April 13, 2009 11:29 PM (JE2zV)

145 just checking to see if I can post here. It's amazing that Americans care so much about a dog.

Posted by: Thacker Agency at April 14, 2009 12:23 AM (HhRUR)

146

Never trust a "man" who doesn't like dogs. I've adopted two Border Collie mixes and am currently fostering another Border Collie that may be a purebred. I got all of them as rescue dogs. They're truly amazing, and fill my wife's and my days with joy and happiness.

Screw that hypo-allergenic crap. That's why they make allergy shots. It's not like they couldn't take the time to find a hypo-allergenic dog in a shelter somewhere. If they got this poor thing from teddy kennedy, then you can bet they spent more money on their recent pizza than looking for a good dog.

This is all crap. They don't deserve a dog. Poor Bo.

Posted by: Former Lurker at April 14, 2009 01:33 AM (Xm4xl)

147 145 just checking to see if I can post here. It's amazing that Americans care so much about a dog.

Sure you can post here!...AoS welcomes those with differing viewpoints because we are a diverse and inclusive order. Now go away before I hump your leg and piss in your shoes.

Posted by: Bo at April 14, 2009 07:43 AM (DrB2V)

148 147 145 just checking to see if I can post here. It's amazing that Americans care so much about a dog.

Sure you can post here!...AoS welcomes those with differing viewpoints because we are a diverse and inclusive order. Now go away before I hump your leg and piss shit in your shoes.

FTFY -- BOTUS

Posted by: Bo's Teleprompter at April 14, 2009 07:45 AM (DrB2V)

149 Oh my goodness...I didn't know that Clinton's dog was run over by a truck....I suspect if the same had happened to a Republican pol, the media would have attacked them for being careless owners...

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Posted by: replica watches at February 07, 2010 09:25 AM (TUJDt)

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