Obama's Economic Plan explained in 4 Second Video [dri]

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H/T Michele C

Posted by: Open Blog at 04:32 PM

Comments

1 Dude

Posted by: The Great Overland Invasion of Pokestahn at March 31, 2009 04:34 PM (PD1tk)

2 Heh, they found our Soylent Green production facility eh?

Posted by: The Government at March 31, 2009 04:34 PM (ysoZG)

Is that a sarlac? Charybdis? That you?

So, I mean, is this a euphemism? Obama is saying, ala Mark Steyn, in order to come out of this recession we need to maintain a higher birthrate and growing population so we need to get 'bizay'?

Also, shound't there be a content warning on the pic of Rosie O'Donnell's vagina? I could get fired for that, Ace.

Posted by: Entropy at March 31, 2009 04:36 PM (cok/k)

4 longer than four seconds.

Posted by: blogRot at March 31, 2009 04:37 PM (EKMxC)

5 Hey, don't be giving them any ideas.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2009 04:39 PM (AZGON)

6 Delivers.

Posted by: reason at March 31, 2009 04:39 PM (q/kmn)

7 I actually laughed out loud, possibly even cackled. Isn't that what happens to people before they go insane? This economic plan is pushing me to the edge.

Posted by: mare at March 31, 2009 04:40 PM (X1fsj)

8 Fucking right, Ace. Man I hear so much shit about saving Mother Earth lately that I tell the people who are concerned about "Climate Change" to end their life immediately if they want to make a difference. Solves two problems at once? Less liberals to go around and "Climate Change" will have ended, right? But of course they go "Then who will fight for Mother Earth?"

Posted by: Kaitian at March 31, 2009 04:42 PM (yFt7r)

9 That's a video of election day.

Posted by: Corona at March 31, 2009 04:43 PM (pI8vF)

10 Like throwing a hotdog down a hall.

Posted by: sickinmass at March 31, 2009 04:43 PM (/i4dU)

11 I've been posting stuff about the crazy deficits on facebook every so often. A friend told me to "knock it off!". The truth is scary, and some don't want to hear it. They want to stay comfortable and oblivious.

Posted by: Bill Ayers at March 31, 2009 04:44 PM (gbGqE)

12 The problem is that they all voted for Obama before jumping off the cliff and killing themselves and now we have to live with the consequences.

Posted by: Just Another Poster at March 31, 2009 04:45 PM (HAdov)

13 Sacrifice. Now I get it.

Posted by: rockhead at March 31, 2009 04:47 PM (DvaIL)

14 I dated a topless dancer once and experienced the same sensation.

Posted by: ricky at March 31, 2009 04:48 PM (P9Yle)

15 I've been posting stuff about the crazy deficits on facebook every so often. A friend told me to "knock it off!".

Today I was told Obama was a moderate. Moderate what, they didn't say. I've been blocking furiously for my own sanity.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2009 04:52 PM (WocgN)

16 Should be titled: 'America'

Posted by: sickinmass at March 31, 2009 04:53 PM (/i4dU)

17 I dated a topless dancer once and experienced the same sensation.

A gaping hole?

Posted by: Kaitian at March 31, 2009 04:55 PM (yFt7r)

18 Obama's budget. In the time it takes you to read this sentence he wants to spend $1,141,552.

Posted by: rockhead at March 31, 2009 05:00 PM (DvaIL)

19 So that's what $2,000,000,000,000 annual debt servicing looks like

Posted by: GregInSeattle at March 31, 2009 05:05 PM (gbGqE)

20 We are doomed! Doomed I tell ya!

Posted by: Vice President Joseph Biden at March 31, 2009 05:16 PM (NLtVk)

21 That hole is getting more business than ______________'s. (too many names, too lame a joke to finish)

Posted by: PaleoMedic at March 31, 2009 05:17 PM (yiNoG)

I dated a topless dancer once and experienced the same sensation.

A gaping hole?

Impending disaster that you just can't seem to steer your life away from?

Posted by: Mos Def at March 31, 2009 05:24 PM (kZVsz)

23 Oh, of all the damned sock-puppets....

Posted by: reason at March 31, 2009 05:25 PM (kZVsz)

24 "I dated a topless dancer once and experienced the same sensation."

That's odd. I've dated a few and never had that problem Maybe it's just you.

Posted by: salt and battery guy at March 31, 2009 05:26 PM (WhoZn)

25 [SCENE:

We open on a small but clean little room with a single rather dim shaded lightbulb overhead. The only furnishing in this room is a small round table and two armless chairs. The table itself is old, scarred, and dark -- it might be a thousand years old -- but it is not dirty. It is a table over which much business has been done.

MONTY enters carrying a satchel in one hand. He is dressed plainly but not inexpensively. He wears no jewelry, no watch. He sits in one of the chairs and places the satchel on the table.

A few moments later another man enters. The man is young and handsome in a rather bland way. The young man is enthused, excited, full of energy. We will call this young man BARRY.]

BARRY: Thanks so much for seeing me! I know you're a busy man; I'm a busy man myself.
MONTY: (Shrugs) I'm a businessman, and I'm here to do business.
[MONTY opens his satchel and takes out two objects: a certificate printed on thick vellum, and a large-bore pistol. He lays both objects on the table in front of BARRY.]
BARRY: (Eyes widening a bit at the gun; his confidence ebbs a bit like air from a punctured tire.) Uh...(clears throat)...what...what's that for?
MONTY: The certificate is the promissory note you asked for. I've signed it and anyone who sees it will honor it based on my name. What do you suppose the other thing is?
BARRY: (Laughing uneasily) A gun?
MONTY: It looks like a gun, doesn't it? It even acts like a gun. I could pick it up and blow your brains all over the wall with it. But right now it's not a gun. It's a demon.
BARRY: (Sweating a bit now.) A demon?
MONTY: Barry, this metal machine now lives in your mind alongside this certificate I'm giving you. The certificate is a promise, and so is the gun: the gun is a demon that will ride on your shoulder day and night, waking and sleeping, always whispering in your ear: act wisely.
BARRY: (Laughs again, but unevenly. His eyes flit constantly from the vellum certificate to the door.) I gotcha. A little insurance on your money, right?
MONTY: You don't understand. You haven't asked for mere money. You've asked to use my reputation, my character, to achieve your ends. You wish to wave this certificate around and cause things to happen, yes?
BARRY: (Nods) Absolutely, you're the only--
MONTY: (Interrupting) I don't care why you sought me out. I care only that you understand the deal. When you take this certificate, you agree to take my demon with you. You agree to treat this certificate as you would your own soul, or the lives of your children. You will treat it with respect, and use it only at need. My little demon will see everything; it will know everything. Word will get back to me, you understand?
BARRY: (Nodding, now clearly desperate to leave. His leg jitters under the table.) Sure, sure. Look, I wouldn't even ask if things were different....
MONTY: As I said, your motives don't interest me in the least. My business is to make a profit from this little transaction. But you must understand that I see profit in many things besides currency.
BARRY: What...what do you mean?
MONTY: (Tapping the pistol.) I could use this machine to kill you, Barry. And if you fail to pay me back what you owe, my little demon will take your life. Now, you might think that I'd hesitate to do this lest I lose my investment. That would be a mistake. I believe that there is a life after this one, Barry, and that by speeding your soul along I would be doing both God's work and my own. I am the refiner's fire, Barry: the money I give you is the heat which will burn out imperfection...or show that there is only imperfection.
[BARRY sits for a long moment, his jocose humor long since departed. His gaze flits between the vellum certificate and the gun. His leg jitters uncontrollably under the table.]
MONTY: I see that I've discomfited you, Barry. Do you want some advice?
BARRY: (Nods wordlessly.)
MONTY: Stand up and leave. Handle whatever problem you have by yourself. I will take my certificate and my little demon back with no hard feelings and we will both go our own ways. But if you place your hand on the certificate -- the deal is done, forever. There is no going back. (MONTY leans forward over the table until his face is a bare inch for BARRY's.) What's it going to be, Barry?
[BARRY sits for a long moment, his smooth face blank, almost shellshocked. His hand goes out and hovers over the document. His eyes lock with MONTY's.]
MONTY: Make your choice and live with it, Barry. I don't have all day.
[We fade out as Barry's hand begins to descend to the document.]

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2009 05:27 PM (dCZbI)

26 Fucking-ay, Monty, beautifully done, but you're the first I've ever met with a Lucifer complex.

Was this the fable of the Sword of Damocles updated by nearly thirty centuries?

Posted by: MikeO at March 31, 2009 05:37 PM (4sSHg)

27 That is pretty good, Monty.

Posted by: GregInSeattle at March 31, 2009 05:37 PM (gbGqE)

"Isn't that what happens to people before they go insane?"

Nope, that's a post insanity symptom.

Sooo...congrats, you made it! You're there baby!

Posted by: gebrauchshund at March 31, 2009 05:40 PM (ACDor)

29 Monty is one suave fucker

Posted by: Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight at March 31, 2009 05:42 PM (taJZA)

30 Monty is one suave fucker

I have patterned my life on Ben's teachings, and consider him my spiritual master.

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2009 05:44 PM (dCZbI)

31 BTW, that all reminded me of my student loans, somehow....

Posted by: Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight at March 31, 2009 05:48 PM (taJZA)

32 FAKE!!!!!one!!!111eleventy!!!

Posted by: That Douchebag on Youtube that Always Cries Fake! at March 31, 2009 05:49 PM (3WHpf)

33 Gotta admit, the 'tard run they're all doing is making me laugh.

Posted by: paranoidpyro at March 31, 2009 05:50 PM (3WHpf)

34 The leftard response to Obama-lemmings charging over the cliff:

"Well, at least he's TRYING!"

Posted by: nickless at March 31, 2009 05:57 PM (MMC8r)

35 holy shit....it's even more amazing when you watch it to Brass de Chocobo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfk0ZUoJDp8

Posted by: Ranba Ral at March 31, 2009 06:02 PM (VNi6L)

36 34- haha, that made me also think of the Ds saying to the Rs, "Well, you haven't offered ANY plan".

Posted by: GregInSeattle at March 31, 2009 06:11 PM (gbGqE)

37 For one reason or another (suprisingly, none of them political or economic) I've been depressed for a few months. That little vid cheered me right up.

I'm keeping a copy on my desktop so I can activate it when I'm glumming out.

Posted by: Arthur at March 31, 2009 06:12 PM (pIBA5)

38 Monty's cooked. Well done.

Posted by: sickinmass at March 31, 2009 06:46 PM (/i4dU)

39 Oh, of all the damned sock-puppets....

Yet, oddly appropriate

Posted by: toby928: fingers crossed at March 31, 2009 06:52 PM (PD1tk)

40 Holy crap. Monty is the conservative bastard stepchild of David Mamet and Samuel Beckett. I'm in awe.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2009 08:04 PM (AZGON)

The lefties get Four Minutes of Hate.

We get Four Seconds of Despair.

**SIGH**

Posted by: logprof at March 31, 2009 08:39 PM (tjUml)

This is all good, but I'm down with the Hood, and I'm sayin' your making me sick, cause when it comes to it, you ain't gonna do it, talkin' shit is all a yo' schtick,

but see me, free me, if ya' wanna fricasee me, cause I 'm a hot-honey potpourri,

and if you wanna taste me, sniff, scratch & waste me, I'll be at Your Local

Tee-par-tee.

So CALLING ALL MORONS, getcha' somethin' you never had,

you ain't neva had somethin' like me,

but I'm yours if you go, to the Tea Party Show, so

COME GET IT ON APRIL 15TH

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TIME TO DO SOMETHING MUTHAFUCKAS!

CALLING ALL MORONS!

REPORT TO THE TEA PARTY IN YOUR CITY ON APRIL 15TH

AND FUCKING SCREAM YOUR FUCKING HEADS OFF!!!

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Posted by: ceaecw at March 31, 2009 08:58 PM (YRTmg)

"Also, shound't there be a content warning on the pic of Rosie O'Donnell's vagina? I could get fired for that, Ace."

Dammit, Entropy, the mental picture I just got makes me want to go back to sheep.

Damn you

Kane

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