Defense Sec. Gates Ready To Announce Weapons Cuts

Because Lord knows, we wouldn't want to create or save any jobs in an industry that actually employs Americans, what with this whole recession thingy going on.

Thank goodness Secretary Gates is marshalling all his credibility, getting ready to take on the apparently very difficult job of helping Obama overcome criticism.

As a former CIA director with strong Republican credentials, Gates is prepared to use his credibility to help Obama overcome the expected outcry from conservatives. And after a lifetime in the national security arena, working in eight administrations, the 65-year-old Gates is also ready to counter the defense companies and throngs of retired generals and other lobbyists who are gearing up to protect their pet projects.

Tough job for a tough guy.

For a palate cleanser, how about a little war porn, for old times sake?

I don't even know what the hell this is. But I want one.

Pic courtesy of Kevlarchick, who, knowing this is a very smart military blog, sent a few links to more, here, and here. I've seen some of em, not all of em.

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 08:10 PM

Comments

1 It's really not fair that we have al these weapons and well trained troops. What does the other side have? Nothing.

That's not fair and I won't stand for unfairness.

Posted by: President Barack Obama at March 17, 2009 08:13 PM (hlYel)

I don't even know what the hell this is. But I want one.

If you look closely in the picture, there's a Danish guy getting a mole removed.

Posted by: Matt at March 17, 2009 08:17 PM (0z0tO)

3 FAEs are a beautiful thing.

Posted by: Taltos at March 17, 2009 08:19 PM (kSrlZ)

4 Don't try this at home!

Posted by: GarandFan at March 17, 2009 08:20 PM (237hA)

5 'Tis the explosion of a GMLRS, not an FAE.

I can't say I'm all that upset by the coming slashings in certain programs. I think most of the Army's FCS system needs to die, the Navy's DDG-1000 and LCS programs need to die. Not sure what Air Force programs I'd cut (certainly not the F-22 or JSF).

Posted by: XBradTC at March 17, 2009 08:21 PM (cK6h3)

Surprise, surprise!

Posted by: Javems at March 17, 2009 08:22 PM (vt/9p)

I think that photo is from the top secret mutant jellyfish project. Or the explosions in the shape of a breast project. Not sure which.

Posted by: ParanoidInSeattle at March 17, 2009 08:23 PM (AJ4xq)

8
There's no room in Obama's new Green economy for defense.

Posted by: Darling, just an entertainer at March 17, 2009 08:23 PM (BHPpN)

9 These defense jobs are all only low wage, low skill McJobs anyway, so lets divert the money to Acorn pickers and census suckers.

Right.

Posted by: Greg Toombs at March 17, 2009 08:25 PM (URFAu)

10 I hope a lot of Obama voters are getting stomach aches.

Posted by: katya at March 17, 2009 08:28 PM (oRJZj)

11 Good one, Matt.

Posted by: skinbad at March 17, 2009 08:29 PM (DOjLJ)

I work for a defense company near DC, so I'll be paying attention to this.

Is that a Thermobaric g0ing off? Or a large box of BangBang shrimps?

Posted by: cromagnum at March 17, 2009 08:31 PM (Kr8mw)

13 I'm pretty sure the photo depictss a guy with a bottle of grain alcohol and a Bic lighter

Posted by: Jones at March 17, 2009 08:32 PM (KOkrW)

14 Maybe someone needs to explain to Gates (and Obama, though he's probably incapable of grasping this) that the *only* reason that the world is dumping all its cash into the 'safe harbor' that is the USA (which is also why the dollar is, essentially, the world currency) is that we have the raw military muscle to enforce our will across the globe via 'soft' power--sometimes being a 'hegemony' has its upsides, your Oneness.

Posted by: ECM at March 17, 2009 08:32 PM (q3V+C)

i thought frodo killed sauron

Posted by: exparatrooper at March 17, 2009 08:34 PM (Jk5AS)

16 I don't even know what the hell this is. But I want one.

Please. That's an x-ray of Speaker Pelosi's left breast after the augmentation

Posted by: Ombudsman at March 17, 2009 08:36 PM (fWF4Q)

Oh, and I love Drudge's headline about US cutting money for weapons contrasted with the headline about Russia re-arming.

Posted by: ParanoidInSeattle at March 17, 2009 08:37 PM (AJ4xq)

Army's FCS

Eh? Future Combat Systems? You're not talking about the guns with computers in em are yah?

Cuz that shit is next gen man. That, robotics, and lasers.

Also - making shit blow up bigger.

Posted by: Entropy at March 17, 2009 08:38 PM (cok/k)

19 President Hussein says: "Let's surrender faster!"

Posted by: shibumi at March 17, 2009 08:38 PM (tZB/c)

20 Is this "tire-iron to the ballsack" day or what? Jesus Christ that's like 4 horrible stories in a row.

My nuts are a punching bag and Barry is trying to be Butterbean. Time to man up.

Posted by: yambles at March 17, 2009 08:38 PM (PLAPA)

21 It sounds about right...

Release terrorists, turn tail and run from Iraq, side with terrorists over our ally Israel, massive government spending... and now this.

All in a days work the wonderful socialist regime of America.

Posted by: Comrade Tovya at March 17, 2009 08:39 PM (DAaYy)

22
I'm pretty sure it's a giant flaming titty. Either that or the Flaming Yamaka of Death developed by Mossad in the early eighties. Anyway, the Mossad thought it also looked like a giant flaming titty. So it's probably that.

Posted by: Dang at March 17, 2009 08:39 PM (xhwOW)

23 yarmulke

Posted by: Jones at March 17, 2009 08:41 PM (KOkrW)

24 The carbon emissions from weapons fire is very damaging to the climate.

Posted by: Kensington at March 17, 2009 08:41 PM (dbnbB)

25 Who needs weapons when Messiah commands legions of unicorns armed with poison-filled death horns?!?!

Don't doubt Messiah, heretics!

Posted by: mitthrawnurdo at March 17, 2009 08:44 PM (otlXg)

26 I miss Bush

Posted by: cromagnum at March 17, 2009 08:45 PM (Kr8mw)

27 This is all prelude - by June the administration will be announcing that we are pulling out of Afghanistan.

Posted by: chad at March 17, 2009 08:45 PM (Fdmhw)

28 This should be a surprise to no-one. I never liked Gates. Most people forget that before becoming SecDef, he was part of the Baker study group who though the only way to succeed in Iraq was to negotiate with Iran for their help!

Posted by: Weasel at March 17, 2009 08:49 PM (KtVhz)

29 #27

A prelude to CHAOS, that is!

In the end, there will be only chaos!

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at March 17, 2009 08:49 PM (otlXg)

30 Thanks. Glad I'm gone. As long as my discharge check shows up on schedule, the Pentagon can feel free to fuck up as much as it likes, and Obama can invest in magic beans and unicorn farts to defend the nation.

Hope the 52 percent are happy. Fuckers.

Posted by: SGT Dan at March 17, 2009 08:50 PM (5ZI7f)

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Posted by: ceaecw at March 17, 2009 08:53 PM (fZVBv)

32 "I miss Bush."

So do we.

Posted by: New Jersey Legislators at March 17, 2009 08:54 PM (dbnbB)

Now we have to look forward to Acmetal.

Its has electrolytes, so its good for you

Posted by: cromagnum at March 17, 2009 08:54 PM (Kr8mw)

34
At the next tea party, we need to hold signs:

Get Off My Tits!

Posted by: Darling, just an entertainer at March 17, 2009 08:55 PM (BHPpN)

35 Gee, perhaps the WH should consider ordering some white flags. At this rate, obama is making jimmy carter look like Genghis Khan.

Posted by: Ginger at March 17, 2009 08:55 PM (Vjqj1)

36 I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women. I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me. My mother died at an early age from cancer. Later in life, questions arose over my real name.
My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate. I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs & didn't follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.
I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them. That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.
I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child. I became active in local politics in my 30's then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything. That reinforced my conceit. I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks. I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances.. This bolstered my ego.
At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy. I was very critical of my country in the last war and seized every opportunity to bash my country. But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed & housed for free.. I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks & corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate them and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight. I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to all people. I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics & was able to gain widespread popular support.
I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope', together we could change our country and the world. So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities" like the Jews. My true views were not widely known & I needed to keep them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader. I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with. I'm glad they didn't. Then I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I?

ADOLF HITLER

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 08:56 PM (/i4dU)

32 LOL

My wife's fam is from NJ, so i saw the story and had a good laugh

VivaBrazzillion

Posted by: cromagnum at March 17, 2009 09:01 PM (Kr8mw)

38 that shit is not necessary

Posted by: Jones at March 17, 2009 09:02 PM (KOkrW)

39 agggggh! Obama is determined to turn our beloved country into a total gaping vagina.

Posted by: krukke1 at March 17, 2009 09:08 PM (pSOzi)

40 Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

Posted by: toby928 at March 17, 2009 09:11 PM (PD1tk)

FAE's are sweet!

So is fuel oil for my parent's furnace and lawn fertilizer for my boss' yard.

Posted by: ErikW at March 17, 2009 09:13 PM (hKtiw)

42 As a former CIA director with strong Republican credentials, Gates is prepared to use his credibility to help Obama overcome the expected outcry from conservatives. And after a lifetime in the national security arena, working in eight administrations, the 65-year-old Gates is also ready to counter the defense companies and throngs of retired generals and other lobbyists who are gearing up to protect their pet projects.

Gee, that's great.

But what about the STIMILUS??? I thought Obama didn't care WHAT money was spent on, so long as it was SPENT???

So we'll blow billions or trillions on Global Warming bullshit... but weapons systems? What do we need weapons systems for?

Congratulations, Secretary Gates! You have been assigned to dismantle the greatest war machine to ever defend the freedom of man. Good job, man. Let's start with ditching anti-missile defense: I already heard people asking what the point of defending Poland from Iranian missiles is... as though those missiles might not reach as far as London. Or San Francisco.

Let's gut the heart of the next generation fighter, ordering only 30 or so - just to make sure that makes the per unit price come out to a $10 billion or so. After all, the greatest part of the expense was actually developing the plane: so now that the most expensive part of the project is over, Why actually build a substantial number of planes that could actually make a strategic difference?

AFTER ALL: It's not like China is arming to the teeth or anything.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 17, 2009 09:14 PM (iafWn)

43 John has lace nikes. Repeat. John has lace nikes.

Posted by: BBC at March 17, 2009 09:20 PM (PD1tk)

44 That's a picture of the Lightbearer in his non-mortal guise.

Posted by: flenser at March 17, 2009 09:20 PM (Z5J0/)

45
I don't even know what the hell this is. But I want one.

If you look closely in the picture, there's a Danish guy getting a mole removed.

Posted by: Matt at March 17, 2009 08:17 PM (0z0tO)

Attention, Attention: We have a Winner! We have a winner!!

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 17, 2009 09:27 PM (iafWn)

46 So, does anyone know about biodiesel? I was wondering if that could have been Greek fire. The Greeks had vegetable oil, alcohol, and probably hydroxides. Could this be a "green" weapon for Preznit Urkel?

Posted by: Lee N. Field at March 17, 2009 09:34 PM (AcPH9)

47 OT AP report:

Shazzam,

For months, the Obama administration and members of Congress have known that insurance giant AIG was getting ready to pay huge bonuses while living off government bailouts. It wasn't until the money was flowing and news was trickling out to the public that official Washington rose up in anger and vowed to yank the money back.

Posted by: Gomer at March 17, 2009 09:37 PM (+sBB4)

48 Acorn needs the money. It is really going to be tough to steal the '10 Congressional elections, especially if the Dems keep sending the economy down the shitter.

Posted by: the real joe at March 17, 2009 09:40 PM (aqGyO)

Damn, I loves me some war pron! Though it does tend to make me miss my time in the military. I love watching shit blow up, really pumps my nads. That picture looks kinda like a Harm going off, tho I dont see any radar in the pic.

For those that don't know, Harm is an acronym for the High Speed Anti-Radiation Missle. Might also be an AGM-45, which is the same thing, an Anti-SAM missle, blows up above the target and shreads the radar with shrapnel. Cool stuuf there.

Kane

Posted by: Kanelin at March 17, 2009 09:43 PM (Trmxq)

50 That's what happens when you smoke while wearing a lace wig.

Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at March 17, 2009 09:44 PM (bB2sB)

51 XBradTC, I think we can pretty much count on them to cut all the good stuff.

Posted by: Flubber at March 17, 2009 09:45 PM (uaRzq)

52 Posted by: XBradTC at March 17, 2009 08:21 PM

Uh(hhhhhh...), if the LCS and DDG-1000 programs go away the Navy will be hurting for ships even more than it already is. After the problems with the San Antonio class, I'm all for better quality control in shipbuilding, but pretty soon the Navy's just gonna have some creaky old Ticos and a bunch of Burkes that are in and out of the shop like a 70's Jaguar to watch the collective butts of the CVNs.

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 17, 2009 09:45 PM (BAOI5)

So far I am fucking hating 2009. Worst year of my life so far. No, I am not kidding. And it's Day 56 in this abyssmal administration. I have given up asking "what's next." I don't want to know.

Thank God for Guinness and warm sunny weather.

Posted by: PaleoMedic at March 17, 2009 09:45 PM (yiNoG)

54 I miss Ronald Reagan. /sniff

Posted by: BillyBob at March 17, 2009 09:50 PM (cWg6W)

55 HOPE FOR CHANGE IN 2012

Posted by: Gomer at March 17, 2009 09:50 PM (+sBB4)

This is going to get a lot of people killed. A lot of them are friends of mine.

I am not even mildly amused. Perhaps later we can all look back and laugh. Certainly one of our lurkers knows how to laugh in Mandarin?

Posted by: comatus at March 17, 2009 09:50 PM (/yEiy)

57 fiatboomer,

If they DON'T cancel those programs, they'll have a bunch of Crappy Little Ships that can't do shit and 3 whole "stealth" star-destroyers that any raghead in a rowboat can spot.

Maybe, just maybe, they'll pull their collective heads out of their asses and buy a real frigate.

Posted by: XBradTC at March 17, 2009 09:54 PM (cK6h3)

58 May the Lord above protect us from this fugitive from Kenya and his Holocaust buddy.

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 09:55 PM (/i4dU)

59 Is it just me, or is anyone else getting more headaches because of obama?

Posted by: Ginger at March 17, 2009 09:55 PM (Vjqj1)

60 OT:
Viveck Kundra is back to work today, defrauding the guvments.

Posted by: Gomer at March 17, 2009 09:55 PM (+sBB4)

61 Remember all those years of rabid (and, not-so-rabid) leftists hoping that Bush's policies would lead to more Americans dead?

Looks like they got the president to fulfill that particular fantasy now.

Chickens.
Roost.
...
<boom>

Men and women of good character will still be here to pick up the pieces. I only hope in the coming elections that we lose all the milquetoast pigs, left and right, who have decided the mantle of power is an end in and of itself.

Going to take a lot of hard work.

Posted by: krakatoa at March 17, 2009 09:57 PM (/FUhT)

62 Posted by: XBradTC at March 17, 2009 09:54 PM

Unfortunately, I doubt Bambi would replace them with anything. But yeah, it would be nice to have an FFG that's more than a missile sponge, especially with the shopping spree the Chinese are on.

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 17, 2009 09:57 PM (BAOI5)

63 Day 57 of Barry's "War on Prosperity" ends with another moronic twist...

An actual spending based stimulus would have been to INCREASE weapons acquisitions. Particularly in developed systems that are being heavily utilized and depleted in Iraq and Iran... F-16 replacements for our Air National Guard Units which are supposed to be in service for decades to come... Add that F/A-18's, C-17's, C-130's, M1 Abram tanks, Bradley fighting vehicles, etc. Production could be ramped up quickly, and if the government funded the expansion of working capital up-front instead of late-paying cheap bastards, the benefits to middle class workers with actual skills could be immediate.

Do you think Vladamir will be a benevolent overlord???

Posted by: phreshone at March 17, 2009 10:01 PM (oH2N4)

64 Man, things are going to shit fast.. The people who voted for the ass (OB1) deserve him, the rest up us do not....

Posted by: Gary-fl at March 17, 2009 10:05 PM (6LOA/)

65 Woo Hoo David Wright just won it for the USA..on to the semi finals!!!!!!

Posted by: silly at March 17, 2009 10:07 PM (zplc6)

>The people who voted for the ass (OB1) deserve him, the rest up us do not....

The people who voted for him are eatin this shit up with a spoon- THIS IS WHAT THEY VOTED FOR

Posted by: Jones at March 17, 2009 10:08 PM (KOkrW)

67 This business will get out of control! It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it!

Posted by: Jones at March 17, 2009 10:10 PM (KOkrW)

68 So after they put me out of work then what? Crawl to the government for sustenance? Go work for ACORN?

This country needs what I do. It's not just people like me who are screwed, it's every last one of us.

Posted by: Fuck anyone who didn't vote for McCain at March 17, 2009 10:11 PM (z/8AK)

69 Bam's the man with the plan, if he can't do it no one can. If you don't trust him put your helmet on.

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 10:13 PM (/i4dU)

70 The people who voted for the ass (OB1) deserve him, the rest up us do not....

Nope. We deserve him too. Why? Because when we nominally held power in this country, we refused to hold accountable our own congress-critters. Back when we could afford to risk losing a seat running out RINOs like Specter, we continued to vote party-line.

Fat lot of good that did us, eh?

Posted by: krakatoa at March 17, 2009 10:15 PM (/FUhT)

71 I sent my Flat Stanley to the White House. It came back as a Socialist.

Posted by: cromagnum at March 17, 2009 10:16 PM (Kr8mw)

72 @69: didn't you get the memo? Obama is banning helmet production.

Posted by: CoolCzech at March 17, 2009 10:18 PM (iafWn)

73 Anybody who voted for Barry should be wearing a tard-helmet for their own protection...

Posted by: phreshone at March 17, 2009 10:20 PM (oH2N4)

74 I think it's Barney Frank's anus after a long weekend of "lobbying".

Posted by: OCBill at March 17, 2009 10:21 PM (OuJKA)

75 I put this on the boston.com blog, too. Enjoy.

Now, defense is one of the industries we can augment with stimulus funds, that will save or create American jobs, and give us a return on our investment for years to come even after the funds dry (and they will) - whether it be in new commercial technologies or just in peace of mind.

Why ARE we spending so much money on the stimulus and at the same time we are cutting funds to a constitutional imperative (provide for the common defense...)? Granted, there is plenty of waste in DOD, as there is in every other government agency.

But why (relatively) starve the military when we are gorging everything else? Do we need the new DDG-1000 destroyer? maybe not, it has it's flaws. Do we need the Future Combat Systems? Maybe not, it has it's flaws,too. Same for the F-22.

Sure, we are at a pinnacle of military superiority - the U.S. has literally 50% of the Naval might in the entire world - and we've downsized from nearly 600 ships (in the late 1980's) to less than 300. It's just that everyone else has downsized more. We can't count on that as a status quo, China and Russia have both re-energized their shipbuilding. Will we be at our same level of overwhelming military superiority 10 years from now? Most likely, 20? Maybe. 30? doubtful. We need to innovate, and deploy ever better weapons of war to ensure our enemies and rivals don't dare challenge. If we stop new weapons initiatives, we will pay the price, eventually.

Posted by: FCCS(SW/AW) Jeff Weimer at March 17, 2009 10:21 PM (1Mn8Z)

76 Fuck anyone who didn't vote for McCain at March 17, 2009 10:11 PM (z/8AK) Quit. Srsly, I'm thinking about it myself. Fuck them all with a rake. Withold your labor and your income taxes from these fucking pigs. Collect welfare and gubmint grants, file lawsuits ad-nauseum against enemy institutions, and spend it all on the good things in life (like ValuRite, guns, ammo, whores, and lesbian hentai pr0nz). Drain the system of resources. Contribute nothing to their socialist economy and celebrate as it collapses on their fucking heads. Time for Atlas to shrug.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at March 17, 2009 10:23 PM (3BrUc)

77 Shit! No, I did not CoolCzech!
I need relief before I blow a fuse.
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 81). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. 'Got drunk once, and had sex with a cockatoo. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 10:24 PM (/i4dU)

78 Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 10:24 PM (/i4dU) lulz. Your old man is epic win personified. sickinmass's old man FTW!

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at March 17, 2009 10:30 PM (3BrUc)

79 Nope. We deserve him too. Why? Because when we nominally held power in this country, we refused to hold accountable our own congress-critters. Back when we could afford to risk losing a seat running out RINOs like Specter, we continued to vote party-line.

Fat lot of good that did us, eh? Speak for yourself, I've been putting my ass on the line at work, promoting our ideas with a whole lot of fucking ridicule directed back in my face. Try it yourself for a day or two and tell me it's a losing cause.

Posted by: ErikW at March 17, 2009 10:30 PM (hKtiw)

80 Heh, sickinmass rules the Comments tonight.

Cutting Defense by 25%! Gah! Well, there's another campaign promise to the Leftards fulfilled. Billions for bums, millions for ACORN, but protecting our nation and its so-called national interests, that can take a pass. This is like the Carter years all over again, except this time I am old enough to understand how bad it really is. We are SO going to get internationally dissed and pissed on in the next four years. If we are lucky, a lot of people won't get killed as a result. Anyone feel lucky?

OTOH, if Teh Obamessiah cuts the troops back a lot, that means there will be less uniforms between him and the armed revoolutionaries as well. Always a bit of abright side in some situations.

Posted by: exdem13 at March 17, 2009 10:36 PM (lYKj1)

81 SIM,

I can't stop laughing about your story about your father. Good for him. What was the kid's reaction?

Posted by: Ginger at March 17, 2009 10:36 PM (Vjqj1)

82 Ginger,
He choked on my father's cock.
SiM

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 10:39 PM (/i4dU)

83 Heh. 12 minutes left of St. Patrick's Day here on the east coast. Hope you laugh.

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
' Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'
The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'
This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'
'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.
'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall,
voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

Posted by: sickinmass at March 17, 2009 10:48 PM (/i4dU)

84 In a stunning development that caught key aids completely by surprise today, Sec. Gates announced today a new program to convert advanced radar monitor screens previously slated for the anti-missile defense system into the next generation Advanced Messiah Teleprompter for White House use.

"I swear, if I heard one more 'ummm' out of that guy's mouth, I was going to go batshit eating crazy!," Gates explained.

Posted by: Associated Press at March 17, 2009 10:52 PM (iafWn)

Not only is President BO going to slash the military he's going to slash American defense sales to our allies. India may not get the GE gas turbines it has ordered for several major warships.

I guess president 666 wants the French to supply them or maybe the Russians.

Posted by: Thomas Jackson at March 17, 2009 11:09 PM (0Qynq)

Good gawd! That is one awesome pic.

I want one too. Or maybe a few dozen. Or as many as I can purchase/steal

Posted by: genghis at March 17, 2009 11:13 PM (1XErj)

87 Cut our national defenses to satisfi the teleban who support these demacratic reptiles

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 17, 2009 11:14 PM (5mfsG)

88 What's an Irishman's idea of a 7 course meal?

Posted by: ErikW at March 17, 2009 11:16 PM (hKtiw)

What's an Irishman's idea of a 7 course meal?

A six-pack and a potato.

Posted by: ErikW at March 17, 2009 11:18 PM (hKtiw)

90 I think the explosion may be some kind of unitary rocket for MLRS. Could be wrong, but that is a fantastic weapon.

The US Army was behind the ball on that one, but Israel was on top of it.

I'm scared that we're going to lose a lot of the technology we need to have in case shit hits fan in the future. china got information when Clinton was pres. Since then, we've perfected our field artillery, F22, and missile shield and many other elements of warfare. Will China or Russia learn how that stuff works?

Posted by: shill at March 17, 2009 11:30 PM (8jYMc)

91 Suck on that, Skynet.

Posted by: andros at March 17, 2009 11:32 PM (k39jK)

92 Hey, we don't need no stinkin' weapons. We have the Obamassiah on our side. One lightening curt remark from him could cut down a whole division. His stern gaze could immobilize a regiment of tanks. This, in addition to having 'the smartest woman on earth' as Secretary of State would allow us to deliver a stunning one-two power punch that will defeat any 4th rate power on this planet. As long as it's understood that they attack us only Mon thru Friday, between 9 and 4.

Posted by: GarandFan at March 17, 2009 11:37 PM (237hA)

Ginger, re the headache question no, but then I haven't really sobered up enough since the inaugaration for the hangover to catch up with me. Things look better from the bottom of a wine bottle, that's for sure.

p.s. Does anybody else fear space debris? Because I'm still very suspicious of that damn satellite collision last month.

Posted by: ParanoidInSeattle at March 18, 2009 12:03 AM (AJ4xq)

94 #77, I call bullshit. I heard that joke on the USS Guadalcanal (LPH-7) in 1983, I was in fifth grade.

Posted by: SGT Dan at March 18, 2009 12:56 AM (5ZI7f)

95 Of course,this is why Obama kept him. To use his credibility to strip down the US military.

Posted by: prose at March 18, 2009 04:27 AM (ApD9I)

96 I've seen that photo before, it's a test shot of a fuel-air explosive (FAE). Excellent for leaving a 'clean-up in isle 3'. A beautiful way to clean out a cave or enemy in the open, great for entrances to bunkers, stockpiles, or anything that stays put long enough to call up a fast mover to deliver it.

Posted by: ExAFWeaponsMechanic at March 18, 2009 05:32 AM (cocft)

97 I don't even know what the hell this is. But I want one.

It's Barney Frank's asshole.

Posted by: Dick Fitzwell at March 18, 2009 06:46 AM (VEIyQ)

98 My estrogen is showing here, but that looks like a giant exploding diaphragm.

Posted by: ford at March 18, 2009 07:02 AM (Ki7fm)

99 sickinmass,

I read the whole thing, and when I read the name of the author at the end, it was like a steel fist to my guts. Exactly the same right down to the last detail. Frightening.

Posted by: Tushar at March 18, 2009 07:53 AM (PGSXB)

100 I thought the liberal theory was that WWII and the military spending brought us out of the depression. Have they abandoned that theory?

Posted by: polynikes at March 18, 2009 08:53 AM (m2CN7)

101

No Poly,

they believe that theory, and are hastily rushing us to WW3

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