1
Will she consider herself being raped everytime she has sex with her husband?

2 "that I bought from a place where all the money goes to charity."

an open car trunk?

3 What a fucking idiot.
""It seems to me a more powerful action by many couples would be to refuse to get married and publicly state the reasons why not." Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could, and we think that's an understandable choice. Instead, we're trying use our impending marriage as a pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family, and being mindful of the inequity in every step our process."

Who is this Andrew guy, the ultimate Beta male pussy or what? Can anyone here imagine their fiancee saying "lets wait until gays can get married and delay our lives together for a political point"

America, 2009. 

4 Why the hell would anyone marry that annoying bitch i'll never know

"I've even considered adding in my mother's last name as well, as a little "fuck you" to the patriarchy, but I think Jessica Michelucci Valenti is too much of a mouthful, even for one with as big a mouth as me."

Oh. I get it now.

5

Worst. Wedding. Ever.

6

As far as the groom goes, this is already a same sex marriage.

 

7 Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could

I'm sorry.  I haven't said this in a long time but White Peoples be crazy.

8

#1

No, because they'll have "sex" like they showed in Demolition Man, with the brain-wave thingies. 

#3

Yes, only in America.

9
Brad Pitt said the same thing about marrying Angelina Jolie.

Ace posted about it and made a lot of funneh, too. I think Ace did a list, too.

10 There are many unkind jokes here about why anyone would want to marry a feminist of this degree and live a life reviewing the moral implications of every-fucking-thing.  But first and foremost: exhaustion.

Dude, your ass is gonna get wore out.  One man to another, is this really what you want for the rest of your life?     

11 I'm having grave doubts about Andrew's sexuality.

12 Could you imagine wringing your hands about every fucking decision you make in life?

She can't even go out and buy a wedding dress like a normal human being?

Good luck sister!

13 Who is this person? Should i have heard of her? And why? Is she an actress? A pr0n starlet? Is she the one who had that rant about Josh Whedon and Firefly?

She's a hypocrite, oh ok.

14 Maybe someone can enlighten me why gays are so fucking pissed about marriage when in most states they can get all teh benefits of marriage through civil unions?

Is it just to continue to have something to bitch about?

Its not like the gay "marriage" is going to produce "offspring"......

I guess this is just another domino on the way to cultural suicide like the Europeans...

15 Ohhh and I bet she does not celebrate March 14!

16 Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could, and we think that's an understandable choice, but we decided not to because shut up - that's why. I want what I want and that's it then. Besides, I only said that other shit because I didn't have a guy at the time. So, nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah.

17 Lucky guy!

18 Oh shit.  We pretty much have to start the pools now.

19 I have bookmarked this so that I may return, as needed, to revel in feminist angst.
.

20 Besides, I only said that other shit because I didn't have a guy at the time.

Feminist girls are easy.

21

Who cares:

You want hypocrisy?

Check out drudge for carville saying he wanted Bush to fail....10 minutes before the planes hit the towers.

 

Im sure he was chastised by his party leadership.......

22

Also, I question her committment to the gay marriage cause.  Why isn't she marrying another woman?

POSER!

23

Won't someone please think of us?

24 So does the concept of "Something old" symbolically shackle the bride to her past Patriarchal Overlord (ie. her father) and the "Something New" symbolizes her becoming the chattel property of her new HusBANNED, chaining her body with his insatiable desire to create new life to dominate over?

The shower is going to be such fun.  They should tape it.

25

What's the over/under on the length of time their maariage lasts?

Dude, this bitch be crazy like Jennifer "Runaway Bride" Wilbanks!

26 That's another one for us.  Do not doubt our power.

27

#15

Someone should send her an email re: the 14th:  ONLY 4 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT!!!!

28

Maybe it was Andrew who suggested the, "Let's wait until everyone can do it," idea.  How better to avoid the price of buying the cow and continuing to get the milk for free?   

I bought from a place where all the money goes to charity.

So she bought her wedding dress at Goodwill?

29 I enjoy how she's using her wedding as an opportunity to hit her guests for charity donations. What a hostess! And who doesn't love a sanctimonious speech in the middle of a wedding ceremony? Sounds like a great time...

30 I guess I'm a bigger moron than most......but who the fuck is Jessica Valenti? Other than a hgih maintenance life support system for a vagina, evidently.

31 I feel sorry for this guy.  Not that I'm assuming that he is a bundle-of-sweetness either though.

It's funny how she has committed so hardcore to all her ridiculous feminazi rhetoric and blog and lifestyle, that now she has to backtrack a bit and "explain" to her readers how she could go through with such an awful thing.

In fact I actually feel sorry for her too.

32

That poor guy's about to find out there's not enough Valu-Rite in the universe to drown his regret.

And yeah, his ass is gonna get real sore soon, if it ain't already. Her balls are bigger than his. And the sound will be louder when they slap, oh never mind.

"Honey, can I have the keys to your testicle lock box, pretty please? I want to watch bowling".

33 I bought from a place where all the money goes to charity.

So, she bought a dress at the Salvation Army?  St. Vincent DePaul?

This guy her cousin Vinny knows out in Paramus?

34
Here's some ol' AoS funneh.

35

Your "hand," by the way, morons, is that paddle-like thingee at the end of your arm. You might know it better as your "finger-hoof."

 

I actually know my hand as "Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey."  And she says the Valenti bitch is a poser and definitely low quality.

36

http://agolis.wordpress.com/

Hereeee comes the groooommmmm.....dorky looking libtard

37

...she was seriously considering delaying marriage until "everyone could...,

Ummm, everyone can.  Unless you have extra chromosomes.

38

Who is this person? Should i have heard of her?

She's the one that was trying to get Bill Clinton to suck her titties at a blogger meetup.

39

Your "hand," by the way, morons, is that paddle-like thingee at the end of your arm. You might know it better as your "finger-hoof."

You do mean Hannah and her five lovely sisters? Soon to be Andrew's best friend?

40 For example, in our engagement announcement we asked anyone considering getting us a gift to instead donate to an organization fighting for same sex marriage rights; we're planning on saying something about it as part of our ceremony; and we've taken the advice of several commenters and will have donation cards to said orgs instead of favors.

Is there any sacred or secular ceremony Liberals can't turn into some sort of cheap political stunt?

41 Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could

Funny. Where I come from, "until everyone could" means "until everyone could," not "until gays could." That includes the ugly, the fat, the terminally narcissistic, etc.

Which is it, Jessica? Do you actually care about equality for everyone, or just for those that are good at organizing politically, like homosexuals?

I think the latter is true in your case, which makes you a hypocrite and a fraud.

Enjoy your short marriage.

42

"being mindful of the inequity in every step our process."

LOL

If I were this dude, I'd be bringing in some extra poon for the wedding night.

Just because I needed to be mindful of lesbians not being able to marry.

"What do you mean you've never done that before Jess, what about the inequity? Now let me show you how it's done, then you can do it too, so we acknowledge the inequity."

I think Tom Wolfe wrote a book on these idiots...

43 Dad: "Just do it, ok? This shit's costing me a freakin' FORTUNE!"

44

As a woman, feminist women like this bitch make me want to rip my hair out and scream and yell. Shut the fuck up already you stupid angst ridden bitch. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. Your life should remain unexamined because it is stoo-pid and boring. Stop inflicting every navel gazing moment on the rest of us as you try and work through your dumb ass guilt. 

45 Tom Wolfe wrote a lot on the subect?

Are you thinking of Radical Chic? Or The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test?

46 That poor guy's about to find out there's not enough Valu-Rite in the universe to drown his regret.

Maybe. But he might be a Machurian Candidate -- act like a ball-less miquetoast to get the Fair Jessica on the hook, then...caveman time.

Andrew: "Jess, get me a sandwich, would you? Ham, American cheese, brown mustard, whole-wheat bread. And a beer."
Jessica: "I refuse to accede to your patriarchal--"
SMACK!
Andrew: "I'm sorry, Jess, I've got this spastic condition that causes me to lash out every time I hear another dose of your nutty bullshit. You can put some ice on that after you get me my sandwich and beer.."
Jessica: "I...I think we need to...to dialogue, Andrew..."
SMACK!
Andrew: "What the hell! Did you see that, Jess? Well, no, I guess you didn't, what with the swelling and all. My hand just flew out! I had no control over it! Weird. Anyway, the ole tummy's growlin' and the game's about to start, so..."
Jessica: "Your hostility invalidates--"
SMACK!
Jessica: "Andrew--"
SMACK!
Andrew: "I know your lips are too swollen to speak now, honey, but I know you're just trying to apologize for being such a nut-cutting bitch. It's okay; we all make mistakes. Getting high-stepping on my beer and sandwich would do wonders for my mood, dearest."

47
...but I ended up getting a not-quite white dress...

What a fucking liar! This chick is excited to for "her day" and she's scamming her readers to think otherwise.

Show some solidarity with your angry-shut-in-lesbo sisters, Jessica: wear a rainbow colored dress!

48 Feel sorry for her?  She gets a Princess' Special Day.  She's even forcing her guests to agree with her politics instead of just demanding new cookware! And when she tires of this dude, probably after she expresses her femaleness by deliberately conceiving and delivering one (and only one) child, she gets all his money. 

I hope this Andrew dude had a good non-feminist lawyer writing his pre-nup.

49 That first sentence wasn't meant to be a question.

50

I'm guess Andrew is just a "beard"........lol

 

 

51 I question her commitment to The Cause.  She should be marrying a woman.  That would be a more effective piece of political theater.

52 I snarfed at "Finger Hoof."

well played, well played.

53 *alan ruck*
ParanoidInSeattle, you're my hero.

54 In other marriage news: Bristol & Levi break it off.
http://tinyurl.com/bhkubp

IMHO, Levi is teh stoopit here. Bristol is a hottie and she's a member of his State's most powerful political family. Dumb choice.

55

#47

Or a hippie tie-dye shirt with faded jeans, with a crown of organically-grown leaves, with no bra and only after not shaving anywhere for several weeks.  Go sister, go!

56


People like her have dalliances with revolutionary-lite politics, then accept the status quo of upper-middle-class society.

Well, except for Andi Marcotte, who is fucking crazy.

57 I found a old feminist decoder ring to translate her answers!

I'm keeping my last name. I think hyphenation is nice - and that's probably the route we'll go with kids - but I like my last name. A bunch.

Translated: I will be a shrew, my husband miserable, in about 6 years he will decide to eat one. At that point instead of going back to my maiden patriarchal name, I will already have it.

Andrew and I discussed not getting married until everyone could, and we think that's an understandable choice.

Translated: But I can!!!!!!!!eleventy!!!!!!!!!

whether the traditional white dress actually did signify "purity," etc. I'm kind of ambivalent about it, but I ended up getting a not-quite white dress (don't want to give too much away in case the boy is reading!) that I bought from a place where all the money goes to charity.

Translated: He's already hit my squeakhole, so i'm not that pure. Anyways, it is my day to be a princess!!! Plus, I just turned 30, my clock is ticking, and if I don't get married now, my scamper is going to dry up and cobwebs will start growing there.

58
"being mindful of the inequity in every step our process."

LOL

x2!

Oh, now don't think I'm going to be happy on my wedding day, no siree.
I won't forget your pain, my sisters and sister-brothers.

Gosh darmit, you know what I'll do? I will not smile; I'll wear a scowl in my wedding photo just for you. Yes, that's what I'll do. And I'll think of George Bush so you know it will be a really good scowl.

59 I wonder who has the penis in their relationship...

60 This will be a spectacular wedding, with the groom performing his nuptial duties by sucking Jessica's dick. She will reciprocate by beating his pansy butt, and finish him off with a 10" Barack strap-on dildo.    It's liberal love at its best. 

61

All,

   Please go see this blog post in full over at feministing.  (No I won't post a link.  I'm puninshed for any links over 8 or so characters).  The comments are worth the trip.  What a bunch of self-congratulatory hens! 

   "I used tree-free invitations", etc.

   "I went with a gay caterer (BIRM) in a show of solidarity"

   "I had my husband/life-mate's junk removed and placed in a recyclable glass jar on the non-denominational altar"

   I may have made that last one up.

62 "I've even considered adding in my mother's last name as well, as a little "fuck you" to the patriarchy,"

Yeah, you go, grrl!  Adding your grandfather's name to your father's name - that'll give the patriarchy what-for!

63


"Honey, I love you, but I also love homosexuals, especially women. But what about the inequity? Won't you feel better if we had that one over there with us tonight? She is pretty attractive, and I think she likes you. We need to address the inequity honey."

"You did so good last time, she had a wonderful time, and I think we all did, didn't we? yes, we did, so let's do it again, but this time we need to examine each other's feelings for another, as well as hers. Plus, it will be a lot of fun honey. She has nice tits, doesn't she, not that I looked, because you have a great body too..."

She strikes me as an idiot.

64 In case anyone cares, I googled her (I had no fucking idea who this idiot is), and in addition to being thoroughly unattractive, she is at least as humorless and boring and dogmatic and unattractive and pedantic and arrogant and condescending and unattractive as one would guess.

65 I'm keeping my last name. I think hyphenation is nice - and that's probably the route we'll go with kids - but I like my last name. A bunch. I've even considered adding in my mother's last name as well, as a little "f[**]k you" to the patriarchy, but I think Jessica Michelucci Valenti is too much of a mouthful, even for one with as big a mouth as me.

This doesn't make much sense.  Her mother's last name is either her father's (if her mother took her father's family name) or her grandfather's (if she didn't).

Somewhere along the line, Jessica, there was an icky man attached to that name.

And when your kid(s) grow up, they'll meet other hyphenated kids, and we're on the verge of a wonderful new age of business cards being printed on 8x10s when I go get my estate taxes done by Mr. Ethan Scott-Phillips-Marlowe-Freeman-Gordon-Smith-Wilcox.  (No danger of oppressing anyone there)

66 When I went to her site feministing.com my mind turned to Fisting and that's all I could think about.

67    "I went with a gay caterer (BIRM) in a show of solidarity"

...isn't that more like rubbing their nose in it, asking them to provide for your wedding when you know they can't have one?

68

For example, in our engagement announcement we asked anyone considering getting us a gift to instead donate to an organization fighting for same sex marriage rights;

Good thing I wasn't considering getting them a gift, huh?

 

we're planning on saying something about it as part of our ceremony;

I can only imagine the ceremony.  "Just because we have naughty-bits that fit together as blind evolution intended, does not mean that we will fully enjoy our ability to pleasure one another.  Until marriage is available to all persons of all persuasions, we have both decided to refrain from attaining orgasm.  Even though we can now copulate as husband and wife, we will at least make the concious decision not to enjoy it.  Each of you loving guests will find on the underside of your place-card a statement of declaration, also agreeing to abstain from sexual fufillment, and we ask that each of you sign these and leave them at your tables after the ceremony."

69 No kegs. No open bar. No dancing.

Instead, the wedding party will perform the Vagina Monologues until all the victims guests have bled out through their ears.

70 Is it just to continue to have something to bitch about?

Its not like the gay "marriage" is going to produce "offspring"......

I'm glad you asked, Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter. No, anal sex is incapable of producing offspring (except, perhaps, lawyers) and two lesbians together would define a sexless marriage (although the nagging factor would be off the charts!).

No, it's all about psychological pathology.  If you listen very carefully, the opposition to Prop. 8 was "wrong" because it was "anti-gay".  The actual merits of gay marriage were not important.  What was important was forcing approval of homosexuals/homosexuality into the law books.

If the proposition had said, "We think homosexuals are really really cool and approve of everything they do, even the really weird stuff.  You know what I mean.  Even if their daddies don't." that would have served the purpose.

Lots of people can't get married.  What about the ugly?  What about the love that dare not say "ew"?

71 Either she's a beard or Andrew is a big time fetishist. I'm thinking they are the same dress size.

72

Hereeee comes the groooommmmm.....dorky looking libtard

 

That chick needs a shave.

73 Who is this skank and why should we care?

74 I remember this guy! I taped his butt cheeks back when I was in high school. Had to spend a whole Saturday in the school library writing some dumb paper about what I'd done. Man, this guy was a loser though!

75 I want Jessie's and Andrew's marriage to fail!  No, not really, but I am wondering when she will inform us that her husband got tired of being pussy whipped all the time and left her ass for someone else. 

76 67    "I went with a gay caterer (BIRM) in a show of solidarity"

...isn't that more like rubbing their nose in it, asking them to provide for your wedding when you know they can't have one?

I like that approach, but remember that gay weddings are not illegal. Before this whole thing became Political Issue #1, lots of gay people had "commitment ceremonies".  Hell, you can call it a wedding if you like, the only thing missing (other than certain naughty bits) is a license from the state.  You can recite any words you like, wear whatever clothes you like, caterer, flowers, etc.

77 If I were this dude, I'd be bringing in some extra poon for the wedding night.

If I were this dude, I'd think a visit to Dr. Helen's would be in order.

78 Lots of people can't get married.  What about the ugly?

Yeah, what about us, dammit??

Even if gay-marriage is made federal law, there are still two classes--the privileged class of married people with special legal rights, and the underclass of unmarried people.  I don't begrudge gays with partners for wanting to be in the privileged class, but only an idiot would believe they're pursuing it out of any notion of "equality."  True equality would treat all citizens equally, whether they had a permanent romantic-sexual relationship or not.

79 Andrew's best friend: "DUDE, what the fuck are you doing?"
Andrew: "Not that, have you met her"

80

"Somewhere along the line, Jessica, there was an icky man attached to that name."

Isn't her own last name attached to her own father?  So really, she likes daddy's name...

81 For example, in our engagement announcement we asked anyone considering getting us a gift to instead donate to an organization fighting for same sex marriage rights

I know the PERFECT organization to support with moolah.

Pink Pistols

82
Who is this skank and why should we care?

She's one of the twits who said Ace is afraid of the vagina. _{Which is probably true. I mean, who isn't?}

83

.......and in addition to being thoroughly unattractive, she is at least as humorless and boring and dogmatic and unattractive and pedantic and arrogant and condescending and unattractive as one would guess.

So you're saying she's the complete package....  I get the feeling this Andrew guy is more than deserving.

84 Lots of people can't get married.  What about the ugly?

Yeah, what about us, dammit??

As an Ugly-American, I too lament the biases that keep me from enjoying high-class callgirl poon a full social life. Sure, you can toss around your "Uggo" slurs all you like, and refer to my pleasant musk as "eye-watering funk", but I and those like me will not be denied! We shall overcome!

85
"I went with a gay caterer (BIRM) in a show of solidarity"

And instead of hiring a band, she's going to play CD's of the best show tunes!

86 Moral vanity is the new black.

87 Is there any sacred or secular ceremony Liberals can't turn into some sort of cheap political stunt?

Not for the Left. This is another of the Left's weaknesses, where they look like retards in the public forum.  For lefties everything is political. Every-frickin'- thing. Food, shitting, movies, evahrathang! 

And of course, they often weasel their way out of their pseudo-moral conviction. Exhibit A above. Ever catch one of your friends repeating a Dave Chappell joke only to declare someone else a racist seconds later? Yea, like that.

88 Isn't the whole "gay caterer" thing kind of like "gay hairdresser", "gay florist", and "gay interior designer". It is redundant.

89

Is she the one who had that rant about Josh Whedon and Firefly?

Was there a feminist rant about Firefly that I missed?  What's not to like about Firefly for a feminist, unless it's Jayne Cobb, and he's just one caricature character??

90

Nobody gives a shit.

As pertaining to weddings, beyond "When and where is the wedding taking place", the only things worth noting on the invitations are

A) Will there be an open bar?

B) When does the open bar open?

If the answer to A is no, do not send an invitation.

If the answer to A is yes, send an invitation that reads as follows:

"Open bar, 6:00 03/20, 124 S. Main Street".

The less said about why there is an open bar, the better. Wedding, funeral.. hey, I'm wearing black either way. Just give me free rum & cokes.

91 Yeah, what about us, dammit??

Don't forget us Chubbo-Americans either.

Down with Lardism!

92

Barmitzvah, graduation, 50th anniversary, you wear a black suit jacket to all of them anyway.

93 "Will she consider herself being raped everytime she has sex with her husband?"

No, but I'm betting he will.  Plus, he's probably going to be the catcher.

94 I hate when women refer to their husbands/boyfriends as "the boy."  One of the bloggers I read does that and it makes my skin crawl every time I read it.  It's a way for women to degrade their male partners.

Just curious, what would Miss Jessica say if he referred to her as "the girl"?  I can only imagine the shrieking that would follow.  And, of course, withholding of sex as a punishment.

95 "Honey, I love you, but I also love homosexuals, especially women. But what about the inequity? Won't you feel better if we had that one over there with us tonight? She is pretty attractive, and I think she likes you. We need to address the inequity honey."

"And I promise to be mindful of the inequities at every step of the process"

96

I wonder who has the penis envy in their relationship...

FTFY

97 Ace and #10, positively exhausting is right.

98 I went over and looked at this dude's website. This marriage is a good thing. It's two losers who, by hooking up with each other, are saving some unsuspecting fools from being joined to their loser DNA in the gene pool. I doubt that these two will ever figure out how to reproduce. And that's a good thing.

99
The narcissistic crap that comes out of the left is staggering.  She,  first of all,  is pretty much a nobody.  So she has imagined the fat-assed,  lonely,  pissed off hags who read her blog are hanging on her every word.  Her every decision and  thought.  Just waiting,  staring at the computer,  hitting the refresh button.  "Please Jessica,  post something...  anything!"  Nervously twisting their WWJD (What Would Jessica Do?) bracelets between heaping spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry's Cellulite Mountain.

Yes,  Jessica.  Every fucking thought in your head is so fucking important that we just have to know EVERYTHING that happens in your twisted, self-inflated,  narcissistic,  shit filled brain.

Pathetic.

100 "The silver medal went to French comedian Fabrice Eboue for remarking on stage: 'Feminism is not just for authoritarian or sexually frustrated women, it's also for lesbians.'"

101 Think this chick will attach a dildo to a SawZall, too?

102 I've been to some pretty oddball marriages in my life. I've been to an outdoor Wiccan ceremony where everyone was asked to wear a robe (I guess I ought to be glad it wasn't a naked wedding); I've been to a western-themed wedding (groom wore chaps and a ten-gallon hat while the bride wore a "Kitty from Gunsmoke" saloon dress, and the judge was decked out in a frock coat and six-shooters).* I've been to NASCAR weddings and Hobbit weddings and yuppie weddings and white-trash weddings in trailer parks. If you want to get hitched, my philosophy is "do whatever gets your canoe down the river". I'll even pitch in -- but my willingness to participate in weirdness is closely tied to how much I like the bride and/or groom.

The cowboy wedding was the most fun. I mean, come on.

The Hobbit one was fun, but weird. These folks, friends since high school, were seriously into J.R.R. Tolkien. I mean, into his stuff to a rather alarming degree. They named their first kid after one of the elves -- Galadriel, I think. (But then, Greg Allman named his daughter Galadriel too, so it's not exactly unheard of.) They dressed in these pseudo-medieval clothes and had some new-agey J.P. conduct the service as Gandalf. (At least they didn't wear Hobbit feet.) We all got thoroughly blistered at the reception on mead and mulled wine.

The least fun wedding was a "normal" one where the groom caught the bride humping one of the ushers about a half-hour before the service was supposed to start. That one ended in a near-riot where bride, groom, usher, and both sets of dads ended the day in jail. Good times, good times. (I pretty much hated them both and was only there to please my girlfriend, so I felt justified in demanding sexual favors afterward so the day wouldn't be a total loss.)

103 "Think this chick will attach a dildo to a SawZall, too?"

I'm just hoping she files down the teeth in her vagina...

104

I can only hope they are Voluntary Human Extinctionists, too.

 

105 " Think this chick will attach a dildo to a SawZall, too?"....Hmmm, no I'm thinking she would neeed at least a demolition hammer. What man could hate himself so much as to agree to be near this retched man hating troll, let alone sleep with and marry ? Odds on how long before he blows his brains out , presuming he has any ?

106 That one ended in a near-riot where bride, groom, usher, and both sets of dads ended the day in jail.

Least fun? As long as no shots were fired.... But I'm a heartless bastard.

107 Ace, I know you're all broken up about this. Don't hold the pain inside, man. Go ahead and cry it out. Eat some Hagen-Daas and watch some of your favorite Barbra movies. You'll feel better.

108 Who is this Andrew guy, the ultimate Beta male pussy or what?

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE

109 Least fun? As long as no shots were fired....

It would have been fun if I'd known the people (or at least actively hated them enough to feel Schadenfreude). As it was, it was a room full of complete strangers making a lot of bad noise, and some isntances of very badly-done and rather pathetic fisticuffs. The bride's dad, a sixtyish and very overweight gentleman threw a couple of flabby fists at the groom for calling his bride a "whore" -- which wasn't exactly an insult given the situation but rather a simple statement of fact -- and very nearly stroked right the fuck out. The groom and the groom's dad basically picked a fight with the usher and the bride's three brothers, and they all ended up in a bloody tangle on the front yard of the church, which was what led to the cops being called.

It was just a sad, miserable spectacle, and one I could have done without.

110 Thanks for wasting a minute and a half out of my life for this crap!

111 I wonder who has the penis in their relationship...

A penis is just a societal construct.

112 Thanks for wasting a minute and a half out of my life for this crap!

Come on, man. You know you were just going to waste it watching midget porn anyway.

113

It was just a sad, miserable spectacle, and one I could have done without.

Dude, that sounds like the best wedding ever! Did anyone throw a chair? I would have just chucked a chair right in the middle of the room.

There was an open bar somewhere in there, right?

114 Paranoid, you're a national treasure. A true Person of Quality. I salute you.

115

Jessica Valenti?

I'd hit that like a Porter Cable Saber Saw with the rubber dildo attachment.

 

116

i'm outraged at the injustice in our society!

ohhh, shiny things....nevermind

117 FTA:  So that's where I'm at so far.

Not only is the gal what I call a twit, or is that a twat? Don't quite know for sure. But as the above sentence clearly proves, she doesn't quite know the people's english. She clearly doesn't "know where she's at." Our 5th grade teacher some 55 year ago, would always ask us where's that that you're at.

118 102 the bride wore a "Kitty from Gunsmoke" saloon dress

That's hot!™

119 I lack the interest to google who that is, and yet, strangely, I had enough interest to tell about my lack of interest.

120 Who is this Andrew guy, the ultimate Beta male pussy or what?

Try Omega.

121

"I won't get married until everyone can!!!" 

No, silly, I won't tell you what my dress looks like, "don't want to give too much away in case the boy is reading!"

Translation - she likes the idea of same sex marriage but is so smitten with what her man can offer her (and that a women cannot), she'll break with her belief system.

122

 I've even considered adding in my mother's last name as well, as a little "f[**]k you" to the patriarchy,

Does being a feminist mean you always have to go out of your way to piss other people off?  I feel sorry for anyone that has the misfortune of attending this "happy event".. her parents must be really proud. 

123 I'm sorry, but her future husband sounds like a huge, gynormous pussy. I dude that discusses marriage repercussions on gay marriage and decides a comment and donation to prop 8 supporters in leui of a gift sounds like a woman and this wedding sounds like it's for a same sex marriage.

124 I dude -- shouldd be A dude

125 It's been my experience that you get much more out of life by saying "let's fuck!" to the patriarchy then "fuck you".

126 The most clueless thing in the feminazi post, and there were many, was that she really believed that by adopting her mother's maiden name that would be a fist in the heart of the patriarchy. If she wants to plant a fist in the heart of the patriarch I suggest she book a flight to Mecca and she can parade around the Qaaba in a bikini with her husband in tow. I'm sure that would shake the 'patriarchy' where it still is in existence to its core...or maybe not.
But I digress. This woman is so clueless that she doesn't realize that her mother's maiden name (last name) is actually the last name OF HER Mother's F'in FATHER. So rather than putting a hit on the patriarchy, she is merely deciding that her FATHER her PATRIARCH, should be the one who gets saluted and not her husband's FATHER. See the new man same as the old man. This feminazi still gets fooled again.

127 pendejo grande: I guess I'm a bigger moron than most......but who the fuck is Jessica Valenti?

She's one of those femi-nazis with a blog about the oppressive plight of being a woman, finding freedom in Gaia, and making meaningful art from her clotted menses.

128 Fish in a barrel.

129

No kegs. No open bar. No dancing.

Feminists have more in common with the Baptists than they realize. Especially the dancing part.

130 Does she have big tits???

131 Obviously, this bitch never watched PCU:

Jock #1:  What's up, babes?
Womynist #1: Pack up your rape culture and take a hike!
Jock #1: You want a brewdog?
Womynist #1: We're not interested in your penis!
Womynist #2: Wait, wait, I think he's offering us a beer.
Womynist #2: Um... Yes. We, would like, a beer.
Jock #1: Okay!
Womynist #1: So it's like, if you're nice to them, they *bring* you things?
Womynist #2: Exactly.

132

Mazel tov!

 

 

(When a thread is so lame you don't even bother to change your sock-puppet...)

133 #130.  Yes, I think Jessica does.

At  a blogger lunch with Bill Clinton a couple of years back, she posed with her chest thrust out next to the great man.  Ann Althouse had a famous post about it.

134 Is she marrying a lesbo; male homo; Barney Frank; or a metrosexual?

135 steevy,
Tits! Patriarchy! Fascist penis! Rape! Whirr, click...
Tits! Patriarchy! Fascist penis! Rape! Whirr, click...

136 Once again, I do not even know who this person is.

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Just curious, what would Miss Jessica say if he referred to her as "the girl"? I can only imagine the shrieking that would follow. And, of course, withholding of sex as a punishment.

Assuming that withholding of sex by Miss Jessica is a punishment.

#109
The bride's dad, a sixtyish and very overweight gentleman threw a couple of flabby fists at the groom for calling his bride a "whore" -- which wasn't exactly an insult given the situation but rather a simple statement of fact --

Nah, she's not a whore -- just a slut.

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http://tinyurl.com/bm9ogw

TMOTS

142

<i>So rather than putting a hit on the patriarchy, she is merely deciding that her FATHER her PATRIARCH, should be the one who gets saluted and not her husband's FATHER.</i>

This is incorrect.  A woman keeping her surname is not a salute to her father, any more than a man doing the same thing.  Granted, we all generally get our surnames from our fathers.  But a woman's surname is still HER  name as much as it is her father's because it is how she has been known since birth.  

My first reaction was that a woman keeping her name is not necessarily a "hit" on the patriarchy, but then perhaps it is, considering the hostile responses to this feminist practice.  You would think people wouldn't care -- but they do!   To me it is a "hit" on the patriarchy in the sense that it is my way of communicating to people that I will not acquiesce either symbolically or otherwise to the notion that I should accept subordinate status based on my gender. 

143 Oh, and you guys are nuts by the way.  A feminist is getting married and intends that the wedding reflect her values.  This doesn't seem to warrant 140+ comments of pure hostility.  Jesus, you'd think she'd killed someone.   

144

Elizabeth  --  mockery is not "hostility."  Stop misusing language and people will start taking you seriously.  She's pretentious.  We mock.  Tough titty.

145 Who is this person and why should any of us even care about their wedding?

146 There are many unkind jokes here about why anyone would want to marry a feminist of this degree and live a life reviewing the moral implications of every-fucking-thing. But first and foremost: exhaustion.

Right, dumbass, whereas the alternative of marrying a child-bride who needs to have You The Big Strong Man tell her what to do and how to do it every single minute of every day, no, that wouldn't be exhausting in the least.

I married feminist because I wanted a marriage to an adult, not to a mental child. I know conservatives see sex with children in somewhat of a different light, however.

147 Wow, 146  comments of pure revulsion and hatred over a woman discussing the social implications of marriage. I just...can someone explain this to me? Can you explain why you have such sad lives, that you have to demean and mock this woman who has never done anything to you? She's been called a slut, a whore, her fiance has been accused of being gay, and those are actually some of the least ridiculous and insulting posts here. At least you "people" are doing something right--you are inadvertently proving why we still need feminism.

148 Oooh, Elizabeth, they might not take you seriously.  Damn, girl, that's too bad. 

149

I just...can someone explain this to me?

Sure I'll take a shot.  You're a pussy.  Ooooh... sorry did I scare you with my "hostility?"

150

Wow, insults without any real analysis.  So, wait, who's getting all emotional about this wedding business?

151

Yeah, somehow I'm not too concerned about the lunatics on this thread not taking me seriously.  I am just here gaping at this bizarro world.   I though the conservatives were the "values" crowd.  They are all about the freakin' weddings and the freakin' sanctity of marriage -- constantly.  So the notion of "mocking" someone who actually takes her wedding seriously doesn't make a lot of sense in this context.  Unless, you just hate her. Which isn't really very witty. 

 

 

152 Raising my hand.

Or whatever that thingee at the end of my arm that does all the typing is. 

153 More joke marriages:

Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman.

Newt Gingrich and any of the three.

John and Cindy McCain.

Bristol and Levi. (Oh, wait...)

Vitter and the women who aren't hookers.

Most conservative bloggers and their hands.

154

Weddings always make me cry...

Liz why are you being so hostile?  Are you insane?

155

Wow, insults without any real analysis.  So, wait, who's getting all emotional about this wedding business?

Precisely! I found this place via another feminist blog that mocks the crap out of these people and their hypocrasy and the irony of the whole thing.

 

Sounds like Ace is just a liiiitle bitter, eh?

rather than as Princess' Special Day, please raise your hand.

Haha. Yep! Nice to meet you, Ace. How pathetic you are! I thought the link would bring me to merely a mention, but a WHOLE post dedicated to it?!  I can't believe somebody cares this much - then again I'm a liberal woman who isn't jealous whenever another woman gets married. Misery loves company, always a bride'smaid never a bride, eh Ace? Real sad, sweety.

Ace IS a woman, right? Sorry - in addition to not getting married (one which reflects her values that she blogs about to boot) like Jessica, she's not as popular as Jessica. Awwwww. 

 

I know - in addition to donations to charitible organizations as Jessica has the AUDACITY to do (what next, she brings ger breasts too? Oh ...wait that was YOU people!), let's donate shit movies such as '21 Dresses', 'Runaway Bride', cookiedough, tissue, and fuzzy pajamas and whatever else to Ace'y!

 

 

156 Oh haha, Ace is a man! Whoopsy, I just just made the ultimate insult against a conservative guy!

157

heh

You guys are fun.  Where've you been all this time? 

158 CW  --  you definitely need to show up here more often.  You're perfect.

159

"I just...can someone explain this to me?

Sure I'll take a shot.  You're a pussy.  Ooooh... sorry did I scare you with my "hostility?""

You do scare me a little bit, actually. You also incite amusement and pity from me. People who resort to petty, baseless insults rather than actually answer a simple question always seem to provoke that strange mixture of emotions.

But I guess you've already given me the answer, in an indirect way: you're pathetic. You can't stop and think for one second about what motivates you to post such hateful nonsense, so instead you just post more hateful nonsense. It's so sad.

I'll pray for you, and all the poor souls who have to interact with you on a daily basis. I hope you don't have the same attitude in RL as you have here.

160

Chris   --  that was very illuminating and thoughtful.  Thank you for helping understand that I can sometimes be unkind a just a little bit frightening.

Dumbass.

Seriously, you guys are great.

161 Elizabeth, Chris, now we're being approved of.  Oh, the horror!

162 Ismone is just being hostile.  Ignore her.  She does'nt understand this thing that we have.

163

They like me! They really, really like me! 

164

 

Dumbass.

Seriously, you guys are great.

 

Pah-hahaha! "no really, you're great! And I'm sitting around around waiting for more of you to say something else just so I can be here to respond."

 

How did I not find this place before? Just not as popular as Valenti I guess.

165 Eleven, Ismone is not being hostile.  She's just mocking you! I am surprised you can't tell the difference.

166 Kewl.

167

Liz, don't let her get between us.

168

Wait, am I "Liz"? I thought you were talking about lizriz at 153!

Swoon.  I have always wanted a man who says things like, "You're a pussy." Now that's a real man!  

169

thnx

170

Don't forget about this Elizabeth-

 

Stop misusing language and people will start taking you seriously.  She's pretentious.

Yes, the AUDACITY of answering questions presented to her about social implication of a wedding on a feminist blog ... that she runs. She can't do that it scares menzez like Eleven! It's only for teh boyz!

 

And let's not forget how Eleven warned you that people on Ace's blog won't take you seriously. ELEVEN, Elizabeth! And it's people on ACE'S BLOG! Who won't take you seriously!

 

How do you feel about?

 

 

171 This article, including most of the people commenting on it, are making a much bigger deal out of her decisions than necessary. It actually sounds like very typical wedding planning if, you know, you actually READ the entire post she had about it.

And all of these people talking about how her parents and fiance must feel... well, they're probably just as happy about it as she is. She's obviously marrying a like-minded person. Has that occured to any of you, that he probably agrees with her on most if not all things? No, I guess thoughts like that would take a little more effort than coming up with some over-done, cliche comment about her being the 'man' of the relationship, right?

172 This post and most of the comments are so full of venom it makes me sick.

173 Katlyn, you're absolutely right. They are so stuck in their own little worlds that they can't fathom someone who actually thinks differently from them. That's why Ace accuses her of "pretending to care" about these issues. He doesn't care, so clearly anyone who claims to is just posing, right? It really shows the complete lack of morals and values Ace must have.

In their black and white world, any man who goes anywhere near anything feminist is a "pussy," "whipped," etc., while feminist women are "ugly lesbians" (I just googled pics of Jessica, and she is NOT ugly, not that it would matter if she was). They have such a black and white view of everything, and they respond venomously when people like Jessica challenges that view. Like I said, it's sad. They are intellectual midgets.

174 All this condescension is a little rich coming from a guy who's publicly confessed his fear of women's vaginas.

When you meet a woman who can stand to spend an hour with you, Ace, much less a lifetime, you let us know.

175 It's really amazing, the outrage you people are expressing over something as mundane as a feminist getting married and trying to make it a meaningful experience that reflects her views. How dare she! Feminists can't get married! They are ugly and lesbian and their husbands must be gay! Quick, let's affirm every one of these dumb stereotypes before our world collapses!

Bob Villa doesn't have a bigger collection of tools than this site. Get lives, you woman-hating, cyber-bullying losers.

176 It must be devastating for Jessica and Andrew to be mocked by this collection of losers.

177

"Sure I'll take a shot.  You're a pussy."

Does that mean you want Chris?

178

Ace is just mad that I fucked his sister, and she said I was the best she ever had. Naturally, he is feeling a little emasculated because of that.

179 I didn't realize conservatism means misogynist hate.

180 agreed, pancha. you'd like to not think so.

jessica's been posting about her wedding for awhile to keep her readers informed of how she's going about it while being a strong feminist. and guess what guys? it's her wedding. fuck off. so they wanted to wait until it was legal for everyone. good for them. it's not some little political statement - it's equality. i respect them for it - considering waiting to get married until your gay friends have the same opportunity is really admirable. and what is this? just because someone marries a feminist means they're homosexual?! ugh. just because you're waiting around for a woman that'll take your degradation - just because a woman has a voice and stand for something...ugh. i'm disgusted and done.

181

Instead, the wedding party will perform the Vagina Monologues until all the victims guests have bled out through their ears.

CTD: And I've heard the groomsmen will be performing Penis Puppetry. Come to think of it, I'm going to try to wrangle an invitation to the reception.

182 "I can only conclude this---"Bridezilla" has morphed from a term that describes women who go completely over the top when it comes to wedding planning, and now is a term that can be applied to any woman getting married at any time."

Yes, because this - "Instead, we're trying use our impending marriage as a pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family, and being mindful of the inequity in every step our process." and all the rest, ISN'T going way the fuck over the TOP.  Over the damn MOON!

"Jessica was very open and kind about all the questions, and doesn’t seem even remotely resentful of getting grilled about stuff that most women don’t even have to confront at all when they get married."

Yes, she sure HAD to confront all of that.   That poor girl and her straight white woman's burden - my heart bleeds for her and that weenie without a weiner.

"I fail to see how this isn't pure misogyny."

That's because your premises are false and stupid, so you come to a wrong conclusion.  Many wrong conclusions.   Just like any idiot feminist.   You are making our sex look as idiotic as possible, and justifying all the alleged misogyny that comes your way.   Stop it.  Normal women don't want to be associated with you.

Also, Ace of Spades is hilarious, and you have never been funny; just a boring sophist and a failure at life.    

183 ""I can only conclude this---"Bridezilla" has morphed from a term that describes women who go completely over the top when it comes to wedding planning, and now is a term that can be applied to any woman getting married at any time."

Yes, because this - "Instead, we're trying use our impending marriage as a pro-active way to talk about same sex marriage among our friends and family, and being mindful of the inequity in every step our process." and all the rest, ISN'T going way the fuck over the TOP.  Over the damn MOON!"

Maybe for you its over the top, but for Jessica its not. What is so wrong with her trying to raise awareness for a cause she cares about? A lot of people these days have their guests donate to charities instead of giving them gifts. These people should be commended, not mercilessly mocked. If anything is way the fuck over the top, it is the vile comments here.

Besides, wouldn't a "Bridezilla" be making this day All About Her, rather than using it to draw attention to the less fortunate?

"Yes, she sure HAD to confront all of that.   That poor girl and her straight white woman's burden - my heart bleeds for her and that weenie without a weiner."

No one has implied that we should feel sorry for her for anything. What are you talking about? And again with the castration jokes. Lame.

"Also, Ace of Spades is hilarious, and you have never been funny; just a boring sophist and a failure at life. "

Misogyny jokes are not funny. Things are funny when they are creative, original, and true. The jokes here are none of those things.

184 I sort of find it odd that many of the visitors take issue with the comments about Jessica Durante - she has elected to make her personal political, and to consider the personal decisions of other women political and open to discussion.  Women who make personal decisions which are contrary to Jessica's feminist doctrines are demeaned as suffering from false consciousness under the thumb of the Patriarchy, and yet, when she chooses to enter a rather conventional bourgeois Patriarchal institution, and tries to disguise that choice with the dressing of radical politics, we're all not supposed to notice the hypocrisy and dissonance.  Yeah, all the other marriages in human history preceding Jessica's are gender based slavery, but hers will be different - of course.  All of this leads to the inevitable conclusion that Jessica Durante is not all that special, and her adolescent feminism was really just a way to avoid getting a big-girl job. 


Misogyny jokes are not funny

Feminist jokes and jokes about feminists do not equal misogyny jokes - you're engaging in pure bad faith Marcottery - Feminist makes outrageous and offensive comments, and then pretends that the blowback is an attack on all women.

185 "Yeah, all the other marriages in human history preceding Jessica's are gender based slavery, but hers will be different - of course."

When did she imply anything even remotely similar to this?

There is no hypocrisy in a feminist getting married. Marriage, to most people, is about committing to the person you love for life. Many feminists find that desirable.

 "Feminist jokes and jokes about feminists do not equal misogyny jokes"

Not all of them, of course not. But jokes about Jessica being the man in the relationship, being ugly, her husband being gay, etc. etc. are mysoginistic. And if you don't see that, look up the word "misogynistic" in the damn dictionary.

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