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Things Continue To Get Interesting In The Pacific

Hopefully President HopeandChange has been catching up on his sleep because things are about to get tougher than gift shopping for the UK Prime Minister (and that simple task didn't go so well).

Yesterday I blogged about the Chinese getting frisky with US ships and now things are ratcheting up with the North Koreans.

On Monday the US and South Korea started 12 days of military exercises and like a petulant child, the North Koreans are demanding some attention. However unlike a screaming child, the North Koreans are threatening a 'satellite' launch and warning that any attempt to interfere with that launch will lead to war.

Here's where it gets really interesting...the US has parked almost half of it's anti-ballistic missile defense equipped ships off the coast of Korea.

I'm affraid 'this is above my pay grade' and 'can't I just eat my waffles' are not options this time.

On the upside, perhaps his unanimous reelection to North Korea's Parliament will put Kim Jong-Il in a better mood.

Posted by: DrewM. at 02:16 PM



Comments

1 Present

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 10, 2009 02:20 PM (f+cPk)

2 I got a hunch a not good thing is going to happen.

I sure hope the unicorn diviner doesn't fail!

Posted by: McLovin at March 10, 2009 02:21 PM (RwvN1)

3

The last time the NK's shot something in the sky it disintegrated.

That was a Type O' Dong IIRC

Posted by: payaso at March 10, 2009 02:22 PM (GpJVk)

4

Posted by: tachyonshuggy at March 10, 2009 02:24 PM (TXp3z)

5 Ole' Joe was right. Obama is being tested.

Anyone remember right after Bush was elected the first time the Chinese forcing an American plane down?

Posted by: Dave at March 10, 2009 02:24 PM (Xm1aB)

6 Whoever put SHIFT right under ENTER was a real fuckbucket.

Posted by: tachyonshuggy at March 10, 2009 02:25 PM (TXp3z)

7 But the world loves us again! Why are people doing mean stuff now? Don't they know Chimpy McHalliburton is gone?

Posted by: Steven P at March 10, 2009 02:26 PM (fkgyi)

8 I see this as a classic "It's a pity they can't both lose" situation...though that hinges on the NK's ability to, you know...actually get a rocket off the pad.

Posted by: Rogue at March 10, 2009 02:27 PM (Pltz3)

9 I'm sure Obama can clear all this up as soon as he can pick out an appropriate gift for the Chinese President.

Posted by: Dave at March 10, 2009 02:28 PM (Xm1aB)

10

Type O' Dong IIRC

What is snicker worthy commie weapons nomenclature, Alex?

I'll take Stupid Jack Cafferty Columns for $400.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2009 02:28 PM (B+qrE)

11

Whoever put SHIFT right under ENTER was a real fuckbucket.

It's not MY fault you can't touch me in the right places

Posted by: Keyboard at March 10, 2009 02:28 PM (GpJVk)

12 The new missile is called the Wie Peen D'oh.  It means hope and change in Korean.

Posted by: Eleven at March 10, 2009 02:28 PM (7DB+a)

13 If their failure means war we must ensure their success by giving them our latest missile technology.

Posted by: Obama advisor #27 at March 10, 2009 02:29 PM (OwIMw)

14 Hopefully, dumbfuckertwat will be so overwhelmed he'll quit.

Posted by: paranoid polly at March 10, 2009 02:34 PM (YLNjm)

15

Will the Norks call it our fault for using Alaska to shoot down their "satellite" after the thing leaves a crater in downtown Anchorage?

Posted by: reason at March 10, 2009 02:34 PM (kZVsz)

16 'North Koreans are threatening a 'satellite' launch and warning that any attempt to interfere with that launch will lead to war.' Might want to advise them that we are already technically at war. Have been for quite some time.

Posted by: Waste93 at March 10, 2009 02:34 PM (J4Lt0)

17 Fuck, yeah!

Posted by: Team America at March 10, 2009 02:35 PM (WsTw8)

18 If there "satellite" was full of Ramen noodles and hit downtown Seattle, no one would say a-boo.

Posted by: pixelflash at March 10, 2009 02:39 PM (5MTmq)

19 Why are they doing this? Don't they know that Barry is really tired now and can't be bothered with things like this.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 10, 2009 02:39 PM (1Jaio)

20

Hopefully, dumbfuckertwat will be so overwhelmed he'll quit.

Much like the libs in the days of "Impeach Bush"--think about that for a second.  I don't think we want that, either.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at March 10, 2009 02:41 PM (B+qrE)

21

The missile tech is scud 2.Is that an upgrade over-Sure Could Use Directions?

The naval tag team race in the Pacific-Loan shark tactics to make sure the bills are going to be paid or else they want more Clintonesque missile tech info.Am i reading between the lines correctly?

Posted by: chicocano at March 10, 2009 02:41 PM (P2bg4)

22 Hope and change?  Yeah.

Hope the Chinese have a different attitude about this Korean War than the last one, and Change those desert uniforms for something a lot warmer.

Seriously, I always figured we should have set up a nice chateau somewhere on the Riviera, stocked it with upholstered blondes and lots of Remy, sent him a video of a pool party and a mushroom cloud, asked him "Okay, which one do you want?  We'll send a plane for you one way...or the other."

Posted by: mrkwong at March 10, 2009 02:42 PM (G8Eo0)

23 I thought everyone was supposed to love us for our citizen-of-the-world president. Guess that was a lie.

Posted by: Volcannon at March 10, 2009 02:42 PM (dIPZz)

24 I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like. 

They are still starving in a lot of places aren't they?

Posted by: Sam at March 10, 2009 02:42 PM (2RAD8)

25 The last time the NK's shot something in the sky it disintegrated.

THAT'S what's scary about the retaliation threats. Does anyone really think that the Norks would admit that their missile quality control sucks ass? I'd give the missile 50/50 (at best) that it will actually stay in one piece throughout the flight. If it disintegrates, who better to blame than the US and their evil ABM weapons?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 10, 2009 02:43 PM (ZR5Ik)

26 The new missile is called the "long dong" missile.

Posted by: TimothyJ at March 10, 2009 02:45 PM (IKKIf)

27 Since Kim Jong-Il likes the blond ladies..let's send Hillary over to 'pacify and 'mollify' his hurt feelings. Then Obama can get back to more important things like martini selection at the next WH party.

Posted by: IC at March 10, 2009 02:47 PM (jZNCU)

28 let's send Hillary over to 'pacify and 'mollify' his hurt feelings.

Hey, I ain't dat ronery.

Posted by: Lil Kim Jong Il, Playah at March 10, 2009 02:49 PM (MMC8r)

29 cur has a point... maybe the norks will just use the USA to explain why their missile failed.

I know a lot of people think we sabotaged their last effort.

regardless, this is serious shit.  North Korea hs very little time left to make a dent on the world... it's decaying and it knows it.  Will they ever have as great a chance as they have now?  Every day their military crumbles further.  They have the weakest US president ever (counting Carter).  Every time they do something evil they are rewarded.

North Korea is almost stupid not to step up militarily, and demand some tremendous cash to negotiate peace.  Obama can step in and pretend he found the right way to handle the axis of evil.

Posted by: shill at March 10, 2009 02:50 PM (8jYMc)

30 21

The missile tech is scud 2.Is that an upgrade over-Sure Could Use Directions?


One comedian (Sam Kinnison?) used to have a routine about the SCUD missile after the Gulf War.  He joked that it was the "K-Mart" of missile technology and that you'd shoot it off and then have to watch CNN to figure out where it landed.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at March 10, 2009 02:50 PM (XOTI3)

31

Might want to advise them that we are already technically at war. Have been for quite some time.

Footage :Pilots Of The 13th Fighter Squadron Deploying To The Republic of Korea  Feb. 24, 2009.

http://tiny.cc/Cyvm6

Posted by: paranoid polly at March 10, 2009 02:50 PM (YLNjm)

32 Is the n00b's test pass-fail?

Posted by: doug at March 10, 2009 02:51 PM (I6iFS)

33 Which Dear Leader will blink first?

Posted by: jason at March 10, 2009 02:51 PM (nRSv7)

34 Hirrary Crinton?  I rould definitery not hit it. 

Posted by: Kim Jong-Il at March 10, 2009 02:53 PM (YlFRQ)

35

So - do the Norks think that China will come bail them out again if they attack?  Seems like a longshot to me.  Maybe it's their way of begging to be liberated.  The liberated Iraqi's are generally better off and have been happily sucking on our nation's rapidly deflating teet - maybe the Korean commies want us to do them the same favor.  You know - have a war, go in there, kick out the fucksticks in charge, fix shit, and then leave with nothing to show for it but international ingratitude. 

Maybe it's time for South Korea to boost military spending and take care of this shit themselves.  We can happily use the Nork missles as test shots for our own anti-missle systems without consequence. 

Posted by: Reactionary at March 10, 2009 02:55 PM (H7yZC)

36 I know it's no longer cool around here to say this, but I hope NK fails.

Posted by: Toad at March 10, 2009 02:55 PM (kOQDM)

37

"I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like."

I wince to say it, but it would probably look a lot like the times Israel beats the crap out of Hamas.  We'll do our best to hit military targets, and they'll keep putting civilians in the way, or at least dress their military up as civilians so that they *look* like innocent casualties.

I don't know if the world media will buy into it quite as readily as they do when this happens to Israel.  If it was the evil Booosh driving the tanks, then absolutely.  Now that it is Obama, I guess he can simply hide behind the fact that this is simply the military he inherited from the previous administration.

Posted by: reason at March 10, 2009 02:57 PM (kZVsz)

38 We should shoot down the NK missile ... as a demonstration of our missile defense capability.  Nuclear non-proliferation has, or is about to fail in North Korea and Iran.  So it's missile defense that is the next best hope of deterring all-out nuclear war. 

The US should shoot the missile - and then announce a new policy of nuclear deterrence called "YAD" - "Your Assured Destruction". 

Works like this -

"Hey, Kim Jung ... Hey Ayatollah ... nice nukes you have their but ... oh ... just so you know - you shoot one of those things - we shoot it down and then ... no questions asked here ... we PAVE your country with the nukes we've been stockpiling for over a half a century ... kaythanxbai!"

But Obama completely BOTCHED this by allowing one of the Pacific Commanders to "leak" our intentions to shoot the missile.  This allowed the Kim Jung's to "posture" as they are doing now - and it was predictable.  We should have just shot it unannounced.  There is still a posibility that we could miss you know.

As far as China?  Meh ... they own most of our debt so I guess they get to do things like this no?


Posted by: HondaV65 at March 10, 2009 02:58 PM (9vlDt)

39 Define "interesting"...

Posted by: mojo at March 10, 2009 02:59 PM (g1cNf)

40 "but I hope NK fails."

Oh my God, Ace is going to be on your ass because it could possibly be interpreted as wishing Obama to fail too.

Posted by: jason at March 10, 2009 03:01 PM (nRSv7)

41 "I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like."

Not good considering that a huge chunk of the South's population is with artillery distance of the North.  Yeah, we can eventually take them out but there's thousands of them. They can level a shit load of the place in the meantime.

They did it before, no reason to think they won't be able to do it again...especially since they've had 50 years to prepare.

All in all, better not to find out.

Posted by: DrewM at March 10, 2009 03:02 PM (hlYel)

42 I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like.

From what I've read, it would basically be a suicide flood against Seoul.  The NorKs know they couldn't win, but they could destroy Seoul and a lot of the south with a flood of troops coming in through underground tunnels they've prepared, with artillery, and by throwing their own people into the fray to cause as much destruction and mayhem against SK as possible before they die.  They wouldn't be formidable, but they'd be barbarians who are already at the gates of the south and they'd take as much of them down with them as they could.

Posted by: nickless at March 10, 2009 03:02 PM (MMC8r)

43 Sadly, barring a surprise American first strike, South Korea would suffer terribly under a second Korean War.

Seoul is within artillery range of NK.

Posted by: Techie. at March 10, 2009 03:05 PM (QYuCD)

44 In spite of their nutty behavior, the Norks really aren't stupid -- they need to test the upgraded No Dong missile, but reasonable non-satellite trajectory would take the missile over Japan or South Korea. A "satellite launch" trajectory isn't optimal from a testing standpoint, but the Norks can at least claim that their test is for scientific purposes and not weapons-testing purposes. It's a lie, of course, but it's a <i>plausible</i> lie, and that's all they care about. Forget the "rain of merciless blows" rhetoric -- the Norks are militarily helpless without their missiles and artillery, and they know it. I suspect that even if we shot down their missile, they'd claim instead that it self-destructed for "technical reasons" and that the evil Yankee imperialists and their running-dog lackeys in South Korea had nothing to do with it. And the Americans would go along, just to keep everything quiet and tidy. The Norks would get the message (hopefully), and that's what matters.

But it's a game of chicken -- what if we <i>try</i> to shoot down the missile and miss? What if we miscalculate the nuttiness of the Norks and they unleash an artillery barrage against Seoul? What if (God forbid) the go all-in and lob a nuke at the South? Unlikely, but you can never be too sure where the Norks are concerned.

The North Koreans are the weirdest people on the planet in many ways. The normal rules of rational thought and action/reaction often don't apply where they're concerned.

Posted by: Monty at March 10, 2009 03:07 PM (/0a60)

45 other shoe.....fixin' to drop.

Wonder when the MSM is going to clue in all the smug and "clever" obie voters about this....

And yes, that's a rhetorical question.


Posted by: buster mcDissenter at March 10, 2009 03:08 PM (4ezUN)

46 How can we shoot it down, it might have decoys and we would miss? Hah.

We should pay them to fire real war shot so we can get some good practice in.  Best bet would be for Japan to shoot it down.

Posted by: Jean at March 10, 2009 03:09 PM (L64A6)

47 First strike from the Norks? It'll probably look something like this.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 10, 2009 03:09 PM (ZR5Ik)

48 #6, #11

Awesome.

Posted by: Winston at March 10, 2009 03:09 PM (FggW0)

49 I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like.

We could probably just set up a line of noodle stands an kim-chi kiosks 300m inside the border and they'd stop like Eliot Spitzer's hooker after a good chokin'.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at March 10, 2009 03:09 PM (5aa4z)

50 I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like.

Ask the ROKs, because if Bambi has his way, we won't lift a finger to help.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 10, 2009 03:12 PM (ZR5Ik)

51

Much like the libs in the days of "Impeach Bush"--think about that for a second.  I don't think we want that, either.

My hope, is that someone in that kindergarten in training white house will let the experts handle this.  My fear is that they won't.

Posted by: paranoid polly at March 10, 2009 03:13 PM (YLNjm)

52 I should add that the North Koreans really don't have much first-strike capability against the South, either. Most Nork artillery is of 1950's vintage, and most of it is in pretty crummy repair. The ammo is likely just as old and badly-maintained. There's a lot of this stuff, but most of it is just. Ditto tanks, planes, trucks, jeeps, everything. The South has been spending decades mapping out where all this stuff is, and targeting it with their own (vastly superior) weaponry: cruise missiles, artillery, F16 and F15 bomb strikes, and so on. The Norks might heavily damage Seoul in the first barrage, but I doubt they'd get a second barrage off before the South (and the Americans) fell on them like a load of bricks. As for tunnels and revetments -- I'm sure the Norks have been tunnelling like busy little moles, but I'm equally sure the South knows where almost all the tunnels are and is ready with countermeasures.

Posted by: Monty at March 10, 2009 03:17 PM (/0a60)

53 Larry Bond wrote a book about this back in 1990. Good read.

Posted by: Penfold at March 10, 2009 03:23 PM (lF2Kk)

54 The present Administration doesn't dare shoot at the Kim Chee Fart "satellite" because if we fail, we look like ass, and if we succeed, missile defense is no longer 'untested'.

Posted by: mrkwong at March 10, 2009 03:26 PM (G8Eo0)

55 Why would Obama want to challenge his fellow communist in North Korea?  He undoubtedly envies Kim Jong-il and wishes that he had as much authority as the Korean leader.

Posted by: Chas at March 10, 2009 03:26 PM (81ekr)

56 North Korea is just trying to distract their people from that shot of our soup-kitchen poor taking pictures of Nurse Worf with their cell phones. Because they're all going, "the poor in the US have soup?!"

Posted by: t-bird at March 10, 2009 03:26 PM (FcR7P)

57 "I should add that the North Koreans really don't have much first-strike capability against the South, either."

That's part of the problem though, all it takes is one missile to land somewhere it's not supposed to(or just one missile to strike correctly) and you might have WWIII.  You think a missile gets lucky and sinks a US ship that we will sit back and say, "It's OK.  I know you didn't mean it, have some DVDs"?  Obama will be forced into war.  You think if we fight with them, that China and Russia will sit by?  If war starts, a good chance Iran and Isreal will go at it along with a few other countries in the area.  India and Pakistan might decide while the world is busy, it might be a good time to join in.  Russia might get its maternal instincts back and swallow up some Eastern European countries while it has the chance.  That leaves terrorists an opportunity to move around unnoticed and cause a little damage as well. 

The world is at a point where a war could start and where it could get big real quick.  Is it likely, no.  Possible, absolutely.

Posted by: Just Another Poster at March 10, 2009 03:27 PM (NgoAe)

58

I wonder what an all out conflict with N. Korea would look like.

First, the Norks would destroy Seoul with a massive artillery bombardment from emplacements just over the border they've spent the last 50 years putting into place in hardened bunkers.

Second, about a million fairly well-trained, but very hungry Nork troops would pour over the border with about 3000 tanks, and annihilate our 37,500 troops who sit close to the border as a trip-wire.

Third, that million Nork troops would take a short break to feast on the corpses of our dead soldiers (they are very hungry, after all, and know their supply lines will soon be cut by US Air Force and Navy planes; plus, human flesh tastes a little better and is a bit more nutritious than the grass they've been eating for the last 10 years) before advancing South to proceed to annihilate the first South Korean Army they find.

Fourth, Barak Obama will be found curled under his desk sucking his thumb and cooing by Joe Biden, who will promptly piss and shit his pants and run to Nancy Pelosi's office for advice.  San Fran Nan will panic and faint, so Ol' Joe will call Robert Byrd for authority to do something (he's on the succession list, you see). Byrd will mumble something about screwing "that black bitch who watches my chillin' after work today" and then stop talking as he drools all over himself.  Ol' Joe will then call Hillary Clinton, who will be unavailable, because she only answers the phone at 3:00 a.m.  Panicking, Ol' Joe will then run to Tim Geithner's office (he's next, if you can fucking believe that) for help, whereupon Li'l Timmeh and Ol' Joe will decide the best way to figure out what to do will be to have a rock-paper-scissor competition.  After 300 rounds of rock-paper-scissors, without a clear response being spelled out by that scientific method, Li'l Timmeh and Ol' Joe will make a conference call to Robert Gates, who will tell them: "I'll take it from here.  You two fuckwits go back to your circle-jerk."  Gates will pull out a secret envelope containing George W. Bush's last, Ultra Super Duper Secret Executive Order, Number 99999, which gives W, under certain circumstances, the authority, even though he's no longer president, to order a counter-strike against enemies of America (this Executive Order will later be held up as completely valid in a per curiam US Supreme Court decision, written by Antonin Scalia, the entire text of which will be:  "W's action against North Korea was completely legal, given that the current administration is make up completely of half-wits, fuck-tards, shits-for-brain, and incompetents, and in the absence of anyone in the chain-of-command who possessed even a hamster's ability to make a difficult decision, somebody needed to do something intelligent, and quickly, in order to save South Korea."

Fifth, Gates will then call W, who will assess the situation, and make the difficult, though later extremely popular, to exterminate the Nork Dick-tator's army once and for all.  Gates will give the order to our military through proper channels.

Sixth, US Air Force planes flying from Japan, Guam, Okinawa, D. Gar, and Mainland US, combined with Naval Aircraft from the carrier battle groups we have in the Pacific and Indian Oceans will absolutely slaughter those million Nork troops, in about three hours of intense bombardment with pretty much everything in our arsenal.

Seventh, the Nork Dick-tator will finally be overthrown by the rest of his army, whereupon he will be dumped naked and unguarded through the streets of Pyongyang, where his long-abused citizenry will rip him into his component atoms with their bare hands.

Eighth, the United Nations will vote unanimously (with the US, South Korea, and Australia abstaining from the vote) to condemn the United States for its "imperialistic, hegemonic, evil actions against the North Korean people."

Ninth, Unicorn Futures will suffer a fatal crash in value.

 

Posted by: Sharkman at March 10, 2009 03:29 PM (69J41)

59

The present Administration doesn't dare shoot at the Kim Chee Fart "satellite" because if we fail, we look like ass, and if we succeed, missile defense is no longer 'untested'.

I'm afraid you're right --- especially the second part.

But at least we have the Japanese ready to take a shot (with our tech) if we don't.

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at March 10, 2009 03:31 PM (JefgB)

60 From ITC's link:


'suspect Kang Min-chul and the other remaining suspect tried to commit suicide by hand-grenade that same day, but survived,'


Failed suicide by hand-grenade...and we worry about these people?
WTF? Over.

Posted by: ziske68 at March 10, 2009 03:32 PM (R414Y)

61

I finally fixed the economy, now onto foreign policy. 

Posted by: President Obama at March 10, 2009 03:34 PM (Xjml1)

62

just another poster said -- "You think a missile gets lucky and sinks a US ship that we will sit back and say, "It's OK.  I know you didn't mean it, have some DVDs"?  Obama will be forced into war. "

 

Sorry, but we didn't go to war when NK captured the Pueblo and imprisoned our sailors.  We didn't do squat when China forced down and stole on of our planes a few years ago.

 

The Null would apologize profusely for having our ship in the way of their legitimate scientific experiment and offer to help them the next time.

Posted by: Mark E at March 10, 2009 03:38 PM (w5RwR)

63 Curious George will turn into Furious George.  Obambi will go chimpanzee on the Republicans for causing this.  It's not his fault!  This is George Bush's problem!!!!

Posted by: Jim King at March 10, 2009 03:38 PM (7h5RK)

64

 # 58

Standing Ovation.

Posted by: paranoid polly at March 10, 2009 03:40 PM (YLNjm)

65 First, the Norks would destroy Seoul with a massive artillery bombardment from emplacements just over the border they've spent the last 50 years putting into place in hardened bunkers.

Won't happen. Maybe twenty years ago, but not now. Oh, the Norks could put the hurt on Seoul in the first fifteen or twenty minutes, but after that they're out of commission.

1. Nork artillery is old, badly-maintained, and limited in ammunition. Many wonks think that probably less than 70% of this stuff would even work, and of that, only half would be able to deliver a shell with moderate accuracy. And this assumes that NK could get an entire barrage off without the South destroying their assets with counterbattery fire. Hardened concrete bunkers won't matter if someone drops a BLU-82 on it (or clears out the nest with a thermobaric round).

2. Nork missiles are mainly for export. Their own stuff isjust like their artillery: badly-maintained, obsolete, and prone to failure. Most of what they have are SCUD and FROG derivatives, none of which would pose much of a threat to the Patriot-equipped South.

3. Forget the "human-wave attacks" horseshit. That might have gone down in 1950, but now? They'd get massacred. A few A10s at low altitude, F16s on loiter, and an AC130 Specture gunship or two would break up any infantry rush. Ain't gonna happen, even if the North is stupid enough to try it. And Nork soldiers might be tough little bastards, but so are the soldiers in the South: and the South's soldiers are better-armed, better-trained, and have far better situational intel than the Norks would.

Bear in mind that this does not say the North couldn't put a hurtin' on the South. They could. The first half-hour would be about it, though -- after that, the North would pretty much cease to exist as a military threat.

Posted by: Monty at March 10, 2009 03:41 PM (/0a60)

66 Memo to The One.

When you invite Kim to the White House for a summit, don't give him a dog as a gift.

Posted by: kbdabear at March 10, 2009 03:44 PM (miw86)

67

"an AC130 Specture gunship or two would break up any infantry rush."

You just had to bring the AC-130 up, didn't you?
*sigh*
Off to the bunk with me...

Posted by: reason at March 10, 2009 03:45 PM (V40IZ)

68

And Nork soldiers might be tough little bastards

 

The same tough little bastards whose asses we kicked all the way to the Chinese border in the 50s?  It was the battle hardened Chinese troops that saved their collective asses in the Korean war.  Norks were pussies!

Posted by: Jim King at March 10, 2009 03:47 PM (7h5RK)

69

Monty:  I'm with you on the actual facts as they'd play out.  I had to type all the bogus doom/gloom scenario paragraphs in order to get to the presidential succession paragraph, where the meat of the comedy is found.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 10, 2009 03:48 PM (69J41)

70

Footage :Pilots Of The 13th Fighter Squadron Deploying To The Republic of Korea  Feb. 24, 2009.

http://tiny.cc/Cyvm6

 

Why was a Hamas gunman directing the F16?

Posted by: Tim at March 10, 2009 03:48 PM (3Wewy)

71 Its one thing when a few soldiers or a plane is lost.  Its quite another when a ship sinks and many more people lose their lives. 

The former doesn't have the body count and most likely shocking pictures to go along with the story.  If there are pictures (or enough live's are lost), there will be war.  For whatever Obama believes he needs to be in power to execute his plan, if people want revenge and he doesn't deliver, you can't spin your way out of that and first Dems are gone in 2010 with him seeing the door in 2012 or possibly removed even before then (birth certificate or all the missing Obama's greatest hits from his childhood that were lost turn up and render him powerless and the puppet masters cut the string on the useful idiot).

While my original theory is out there and possible, I think Sharkman has the first step of the North Koreans better.  They will march south first, most likely.  Kim Jong is just crazy enough to lob missile at us though, thinking China will have his back and Obama will not have the spine to rumble.

Posted by: Just Another Poster at March 10, 2009 03:49 PM (NgoAe)

72

Why was a Hamas gunman directing the F16?

He has a Hawaiian Certificate of Live Birth?

Posted by: andycanuck at March 10, 2009 03:59 PM (TpHGM)

73

Second, about a million fairly well-trained, but very hungry Nork troops would pour over the border with about 3000 tanks, and annihilate our 37,500 troops who sit close to the border as a trip-wire.

Third, that million Nork troops would take a short break to feast on the corpses of our dead soldiers (they are very hungry, after all, and know their supply lines will soon be cut by US Air Force and Navy planes; plus, human flesh tastes a little better and is a bit more nutritious than the grass they've been eating for the last 10 years) before advancing South to proceed to annihilate the first South Korean Army they find.

 

The first South Korean Army they find?  Sorry, but them fuckers are all over the place up there.  Couldn't go around a curve without running into them.  They had tank traps on the roads, railway cuts, in river beds and artillery and tanks zero'd in on bridges and other key transit points.  And that was back in '85.  I was almost convinced we were there to keep the RoK troops from heading north.

Posted by: Tim at March 10, 2009 04:01 PM (3Wewy)

74

don't worry Obama has it all under control...... he's the guest of honor at the ribbon cutting ceremony for the missile launch.

no worries

Posted by: shoey at March 10, 2009 04:14 PM (IRh55)

75 ...and annihilate our 37,500 troops who sit close to the border as a trip-wire.

Do we still have all of our troops at the DMZ? I haven't kept close track, but I recall hearing a few years ago that most of them would be moved south so that they could counterattack rather than just be a tripwire force.

Posted by: Mætenloch at March 10, 2009 04:25 PM (Y+FcV)

76

Tim,

They're even more dug in now.  I was there in '97 and every hill was riddled with bunkers and trenches.  Every road going through a pass had rockfalls poised above them, wired to blow.  The "Freedom Bridge" and every other bridge across the Imjin River is wired to blow. Every valley, every hill, and every town is dug in with fighting positions that are so well prepared, that you often find range cards and sector sketches painted on the interior. Every valley floor is strewn with triple-strand concertina and dragon's teeth tank traps.

The whole of South Korea is a deathtrap for an invading army.

Fuck the arty.  Counterbattery fire will mop that shit up quick, fast and in a hurry.  If they want to launch another invasion, the ROK army and the 2nd ID are gonna break their dicks off in Kim Jong Il's boys.*

*except the boys at Warrior Base and Camp Garry Owen.  They're north of the Imjin, so they're fucked.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 10, 2009 04:30 PM (bu0Ek)

77

@75

That was our mission - counterpunch along the three likely invasion corridors (they came down the Chorwon Valley last time).

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at March 10, 2009 04:33 PM (bu0Ek)

78 I'm exhausted already...

Posted by: President Zero at March 10, 2009 04:35 PM (BNavG)

79 Eighth, the United Nations will vote unanimously (with the US, South Korea, and Australia abstaining from the vote) to condemn the United States Israel for existing and doing that "Jew thing". for its "imperialistic, hegemonic, evil actions against the North Korean people."

FIFY. Otherwise, perfect.

Posted by: Tar & Feathers at March 10, 2009 04:42 PM (JZQ7d)

80

Do we still have all of our troops at the DMZ? I haven't kept close track, but I recall hearing a few years ago that most of them would be moved south so that they could counterattack rather than just be a tripwire force.

 

Don't know how much of that we actually did, but we moved 2ID HQ from Camp Casey down to Camp Red Cloud in Ouijongbu, about 15 miles south.

 

http://tinyurl.com/bw82hc

 

BTW, the original URL I had wasn't that long.  Grrrr....

Posted by: Tim at March 10, 2009 04:45 PM (3Wewy)

81 Don't worry, Lightworker will just give a dazzling speech about how this is "our moment" to come together. Nothing is more intimidating to depots than speeches about coming together.

Posted by: Teleprompter Messiah at March 10, 2009 04:47 PM (H6mNc)

82 I know that the North Koreans are the boogie man, but we seriously have point measured every last stinking pill box and gun emplacement for the first 100 miles back of the DMZ. Unless the sneaky NORKS have a new teleporter, they won't be able to mobilize fast enough to escape what will get thrown at them.

Most of the North Korean inventory is very old and has not been well maintained. While they have a large number of troops, very few of them are elite enough to run away after the first wave of what we would drop on them.

The DMZ has a large amount of recognizance over it, and if it looked like the NORKS were getting ready to move, they would get Osan ready to support our units holding them back.

Hat tip to the guys hunched over the imagery exploitation workstations at DGS-3 in Osan.

Posted by: Bruce H at March 10, 2009 04:54 PM (HdKJg)

83 Whoa.  Had to read that twice.  I thought it said 'imaginary exploitation".  That's it - I'm done.

Posted by: Tim at March 10, 2009 05:00 PM (3Wewy)

84 Wait wait wait, Kim Jong Il was elected?  How did he get more votes then Obama did? I wonder if he constantly reminds his opponents "I won". 

Posted by: BTMinSTL at March 10, 2009 05:01 PM (kGDTD)

85 73 & 76 nailed it. When I left the place was a fort and last I checked, tanks need fuel. Even the Commies haven't figured out how to run their vehicles with unicorn farts.
Too bad it's still winter there though, that means the ground's frozen and none of the paddys are flooded.

Posted by: joh at March 10, 2009 06:06 PM (1DPb/)

86

Okay Ladies..LISTEN UP!!  Number one in the event of a NROK missle launch we will do several things:  1)  We will shoot down the missle, not for the world to go OHHH AHHH but for us.  This will force obambis hand to actually do something..if he tries to appease the NK's or profusely apologizes etc. etc., he will lose approximately 50 million votes right then and there.  so you commanders..no matter what your orders are from that F*&#WAD, ignore it and..shoot the damn missle down.  His inability to actually do anything will show this whole country that he is in effect only a useless appendage.  It will also show him that our military is not, I repeat, is not forgetting its pledge to Defend the Constitution against enemies..both foreign..AND DOMESTIC. The Senate dems and House dems will have to support him of course..he's THEIR guy..from the posts here..he's NOT our guy.  This will also gain us about 50% more seats in the 2010 election and this will give us back a majority that can counter everything this f&^%wad might do to ruin the United States of America.  2)  He might just grow a pair and actually tell the NK's his air force is next, then his navy and then his army if they don't stop playing games.  But I wouldn't hold my breath.

Yes Americans will die in this scenario and I really do not say the above lightly.

But a lot less will die now than if we allow this f$#k and Imadinnerjacket to get nukes and pass them off to their proxies to waste one of our cities. 

 

Posted by: Jon Brooks at March 10, 2009 07:36 PM (GRJ/S)

87 Kim's just angling for some stimulus money

Posted by: toby928 at March 10, 2009 07:40 PM (PD1tk)

88 The least likely time for the NORKs to try anything is during an exercise when we are spun way the fuck up. 

A push South could be just the thing Obama needs, so don't put it past Obama to shoot that test down.

Posted by: Jean at March 10, 2009 10:16 PM (xCBQ4)

89 #53, the first American KIA in Larry Bond's "Red Phoenix" died in what we called "Back Shack" at Hilltop House, the four-star commander's residence. I did a year on the security detail there. Shit job, but Seoul is a fun town.

The Norks are fucking space aliens. They do nothing following the normal human rules of logic.I dunno what the fuck they are going to do, and I dunno if they know.

Posted by: SGT Dan at March 11, 2009 03:10 AM (wyUSq)

90

I wouldn't put it past Barry to try and shoot down the NORK missile and satellite just to prove to the rest of the world that he has the balls to use the big stick. Is this the test that Biden was talking about during the campaign? Should we all be girding our loins?

 

Posted by: Matt at March 11, 2009 03:40 AM (eGZRR)

Posted by: aaabs at March 11, 2009 05:56 AM (ZtZeR)

92

What the HELL?  Does anyone think rationally that our annointed obambi will actually do anything to defend an ally or even our own country?  I think that if the norks launch anything to anywhere, he will want to do the dim thing, engage in talks to see why they hate us.  scuse the french, but this fucking goofball is WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE.  If I was S.Korea, Taiwan, or Isreal, I would be arming up big time because this goof will not help them.  He will sit idly by while they get whacked by the bad guys.  What damn country do I live in?

 

Sincerely,

 

An American Citizen and resident of the Republic of Texas.

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