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I can't believe that I'm the first one to blog on this issue, but OK here we go:

Visionary writes book: "Hot Chicks with Douchebags". Female eye-candy accompanying some of said douchebags take offense to their inclusion in the book and sue said visionary in New Jersey. Judge, realizing that a world where douchebags and their female eye candy cannot be mocked is nowhere that anyone should want to live, dismisses the case.

According to a comment at Patterico's, one of the major reasons that the lawsuit was tossed out was that the filing attorney apparently "cut and pasted" from another previous suit in California, and in the "cut and paste" process, they missed a vital reference to California law. Because California law, at least not YET, doesn't apply in New Jersey, the judge used this as a reason for tossing out the case.

You know what? I can somewhat sympathize with the counsel for the douchebag eye-candy in this case. In my work on municipal projects and stormwater runoff erosion control projects, I usually copy large blocks of text from a previous project to avoid spending an extra hour retyping the information. We make a point of having three separate people proofread all these submittals before we send them out, but we occasionally have a reference to a prior project make it past the process. Luckily, most of these plans are never read by the administrative authority. They just go into a drawer to be brought out if and when a nuisance complaint or problem arises with the project. We've never had an error that compromises the paperwork's effectiveness to make it past editing.

This victory for free speech has got my mind whirling. Since we'll all be looking for a way to supplement our "Post Unicorn" income, isn't there a way for the AoSHQ to cash in on this phenomenon?

Some suggestions after the break:

"Hot Chicks with Firearms Instructors":
Scantily clad hotties are tutored in the finer points of proper firearms operations and marksmanship by goobers from Texas and Idaho.

"Hot Hunchback Chicks with Douchebags":
A straight out theft from the original concept, with the only difference being that all the hotties have "a little something extra". No, not THAT little something extra - we'll explore that niche market with the "Hot Thai Tranny Hookers with Douchebags" release next year. They're niche markets, but we've got to scour the market for all sources of income in a recession economy.

"Hot Chicks with 3L know-it-alls":
DVD releases of 57 minute lectures by geeky Third-year law students to pajama parties populated by hotties. Selected topics will include "The Law Of the Sea Treaty and American Sovereignty", "Collateral Estoppel: What the Hell is it?" and "Military Tribunals and American Civil Jurisprudence: One of These Things is Not Like the Other".

"Hot Chicks with Bacon":
Hot chicks. Bacon. They're both "force multipliers" used to make unpalatable topics and people become irresistible. The combination of the two should result in the biggest cultural fad since Tae-Bo. This is the one I'm banking on to pay for Baby Moses' college tuition.

I'm more than happy to take suggestions, but please don't think that your suggestion of a topic entitles you to have your name on the royalty check.

(Wicked hat tips to Patterico and longtime AoSHQ informant/tipster Matt M.)

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 10:46 AM

Comments

1 How about hot chicks with hot chicks.

Hot chicks with dumb hicks.

Hot chicks with bricks. (for the mason in your life).

Posted by: Jack at February 15, 2009 10:59 AM (Ss83y)

2 It's not just the book. One of the funnier guilty pleasures is the website. Peruse the comments for best results.

www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Posted by: Your are Missing Out at February 15, 2009 11:05 AM (JPKWk)

3 All good ideas. Prompting a return to the rack this morning. The bacon one got me.

Posted by: TheSev at February 15, 2009 11:11 AM (Vq7VK)

4 Some people just ARE douchebags. Deal with it.

Posted by: Bruce at February 15, 2009 11:11 AM (oedyI)

5 OMG. That site? I've found a reason to continue living.

Posted by: Dan at February 15, 2009 11:12 AM (EIBg5)

6 -
alexthechick with douchebags
-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 15, 2009 11:19 AM (MKFU7)

Wait, the women called "hot chicks" sued? Not the guys called douchebags? I'd have thrown the case out on the basis that being complimented is not grounds for a lawsuit.

Posted by: flenser at February 15, 2009 11:25 AM (NDjC7)

I protest. Just because I'm from Colorado and not Texas or Idaho, I should not be ignored for the "Hot Chicks with Firearms Instructors". I am a certified firearms instructor with many years of experience in certified firearms instructing, and I'll match my goober fu against anybody.

Help! Help! I'm bein' repressed!

Posted by: gebrauchshund at February 15, 2009 11:27 AM (ACDor)

9 Looking at the photo of that douchebag male with those two hot chicks, the one thing that comes to mind is:

WHY on EARTH would chicks with boobs THAT hot want to hang out with a 20-something guy with a pot-belly, double-chin, and badly in need of a shave & extreme makeover?

What IS it with chicks and scummy, lame, stupid, disreputable-looking loser guys, anyway?

I never understood that.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 15, 2009 11:28 AM (iafWn)

10 alexthechick with douchebags

Sadly, I've lived that one.

Posted by: alexthechick at February 15, 2009 11:30 AM (NuqWW)

Patty Ann Brown doesn't go out with douchbags. She says she likes smart guys and is married to one.

I guess that lets out us morons, even the retired Nukes.

Posted by: Vic at February 15, 2009 11:35 AM (f6os6)

12 Gawd, I feel so embarrassed the leather jockstrap thing breaks and my dick unrolls and falls out of my pants cuff and I step on it...

Posted by: scummy, lame, stupid, disreputable-looking loser at February 15, 2009 11:36 AM (8V5Ut)

What IS it with chicks and scummy, lame, stupid, disreputable-looking loser guys, anyway?

Those pathetic looking dorks are usually rich. It ain't like they've had a lot of women to blow their money on.

Posted by: Karen at February 15, 2009 11:39 AM (penCf)

What IS it with chicks and scummy, lame, stupid, disreputable-looking loser guys, anyway?

In this example the chicks are perfectly safe and will never be asked to give up a little cuchi. Males in the category are pleased to be in their company, and the goobers idea of a sexual advance would be holding hands in the theater.

My idea of a sexual advance is extreme penetation to the sounds of Marvin Gay as my dog Gizmo barks his delight at master getting his Johnson wet.

Posted by: Fish at February 15, 2009 11:41 AM (CG+cG)

15 Who is this Johnson fellow you are talking about? Is he cute? Does he have money?

Posted by: stupid blond bimbo at February 15, 2009 11:48 AM (penCf)

16 "I protest. Just because I'm from Colorado and not Texas or Idaho, I should not be ignored for the "Hot Chicks with Firearms Instructors". I am a certified firearms instructor with many years of experience in certified firearms instructing, and I'll match my goober fu against anybody"

Depends, are you >45 pounds overweight and wear a beard that only you think obscures your double chin?

Posted by: Ronsonic at February 15, 2009 11:50 AM (ywSvi)

17 Hey, there are ways to make a man's double chin "work" for his lady.

Posted by: stupid blond bimbo at February 15, 2009 11:55 AM (penCf)

are you >45 pounds overweight and wear a beard that only you think obscures your double chin?

Looking around at that website, the douches in question mostly look like they spent the last few years lifting weights in the pen while doing time for assault.

What IS it with chicks and scummy, lame, stupid, disreputable-looking loser guys, anyway?

Women have a weakness for violent psychos. I think we've covered this in prior threads. See the guys who get married while on death-row.

Posted by: flenser at February 15, 2009 11:56 AM (NDjC7)

19 Really hot chicks drop the bricks when they come to their senses. Nothing worse than being on a inevitably losing team.

Posted by: Duesa at February 15, 2009 11:58 AM (Srqga)

20 #3, try the chopped liver. I have no complaint.

Posted by: Portnoy at February 15, 2009 11:59 AM (U+nSM)

21 Hot Chicks With Nickless.

Pure gold, man. Pure gold.

Posted by: nickless at February 15, 2009 12:02 PM (MMC8r)

Who is this Johnson fellow you are talking about? Is he cute? Does he have money?

Unfortunately, Johnson doesn't live an independent life, but he is a very close and personal friend of mine. I have known him for many years, and he has been called cute on occasion, but also a brute on others. The best part about Johnson is his willingness to carry the load.

When others are malingering and not performing their duties, Johnson always cums to the head of the class and performs magnificently. Again, he has no money of his own, but has on occasion asked to borrow from me. I have never allowed myself to give him money because I suspect it's for some nefarious purpose, and being a law and order kinda guy, this is unacceptable.

Johnson and I will be friends for life, and for those that have called him a one-eyed trouser snake, that is unacceptable. Just as Bill Clinton's personal friend was called Willard, my friend Johnson's real name is Willie. Thanks for asking.

Posted by: Fish at February 15, 2009 12:04 PM (CG+cG)

23 You provide the hot chicks, I'll be the geeky 3L. Deal?

Posted by: Ben at February 15, 2009 12:06 PM (go+rT)

24 It must be the economy. Whew! I can't wait for a full on depression so I can get my picture posted on HCwDB.

Posted by: up-Chuck Schumer at February 15, 2009 12:11 PM (K4Zxt)

25 Hot Chicks Shooting Hobos With Machineguns And Eating Bacon (tm).

Posted by: Trimegistus at February 15, 2009 12:12 PM (Z+rhq)

What about "Hot Chicks with Dicks"? That couldn't be misinterpreted in any way, right?

Posted by: blackrockmarauder at February 15, 2009 12:13 PM (GvgvT)

27 You're leaving out a whole, untapped (no pun intended) sector of the market: the ladies. What about a "Hot Firefighters/Military/Etc. with Whiny/Unappreciative/No Girlfriends" book? It could include phone numbers. That would sell like hotcakes. ROwr.

Posted by: Joanna at February 15, 2009 12:19 PM (qBRUE)

Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex. - Revenge of the Nerds

The answer to all of life's mysteries can be found in Sixteen Candles, Some Kind of Wonderful, Breakfast Club, Animal House, Weird Science, and Revenge of the Nerds.

Posted by: stupid blond bimbo at February 15, 2009 12:24 PM (penCf)

29 Hot Chicks With Me.

Posted by: CraigC at February 15, 2009 12:27 PM (Tj9JD)

How about Hot Chicks With Nicks?

It would be a book poking fun of hot chicks photographed with anti-social, tin foil hat wearing dweebs who think they're smart but really don't know anything and believe the squeezings from their asses make for provacative commentary.

Posted by: Squatch at February 15, 2009 12:34 PM (COZb8)

31 Russ, You should not have sympathy for the lawyer. It wasn't that he quoted a generic block of text which happened to misstate the law. He referenced a specific code section (California B&PC 17200), but left off the "California." It's like copying a bunch of citations of California cases expecting a New Jersey judge to listen. That's just retarded lawyering. In fact, in California, the judge can sanction you for any citations to non-controlling jurisdictions unless you physically attach a copy of the source case/statute to your filing. Seriously, if I were the trial judge in this case, I would sanction the lawyer for wasting everybody's time.

Posted by: wooga at February 15, 2009 12:36 PM (IhzyJ)

32 You gotta do something in this bad economy, in these bad economic times when the ecomony's so bad.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 15, 2009 12:39 PM (5KNeJ)

Pop culture has finally come full circle. Cheesecake hanging with shitburger accompanied by a proper dressing down. About fucking time.

Chicks love attention and attention-getters, I think that might be part of the explanation as to why they hang out with tools like these.

But what the hell do I know? I'm single so that doesn't say much for me.

Posted by: ErikW at February 15, 2009 12:47 PM (hKtiw)

Hey, "Hot Chicks with firearms instructor"

Here it is: http://tinyurl.com/dbygw3

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 15, 2009 01:21 PM (2+9Yx)

35 How about "Hot chicks with morons"? I volunteer my services as a moron to get the project off the ground.

Posted by: Hal at February 15, 2009 01:24 PM (tCm8g)

36 How about "Douchebags with Douchebags?" Oh, sorry, that would be a White House Press Conference.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 15, 2009 01:38 PM (v6gTb)

37 This post isn't complete without a link to the Ur-text of douchebag study:

$30,000 Millionaires: Douchebags In The Mist

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 15, 2009 01:59 PM (MlEgW)

38 Jack,
If you get that site running, count me in. But only if you evade all relevant federal taxes.

Posted by: Johanna Lapp at February 15, 2009 02:22 PM (7WQ1N)

39 HOw AbouT "HOTCHEKS with Gyes wAHO KANT speLL wertha SHIT AND USE FUKKKED up punkshuATIoN".

Posted by: spurwing pendejover at February 15, 2009 03:30 PM (gudTT)

"Hot Chicks with Somewhat Coherent Ex-Marines: The Bitch needed Broke"

Posted by: pendejo grande at February 15, 2009 03:33 PM (gudTT)

41
How about "Hot Chicks with Unemployed Screenwriters?" (Hey, a guy can always dream, right?) A few worthy alternates:

"Hot Chicks with Star Wars Fanboys": Hotties cavorting with middle-aged manboys who live at home and construct those amazing Vader and Boba Fett outfits with a little help from the Force, cardboard tubes, colored construction paper, and mom. Fortunatley this leaves room for a droolable "Hottie Dressed As Princess Leia In Gold Bikini Doing Private Jabba Table Dance" photo op.

and the corollary...

"Hot Chicks with Dudes Dressed as Klingons": What more can one say than tajwIj 'oHbe' chorlIj jeqbogh Dochvetlhe'e?

"Hot Chicks with Creepy Traffic Class Instructors": Hotties who go for those guys who couldn't make it as a stand up comedian in a million years, yet they hold you captive for 8 long hours telling wildly unfunny jokes while explaining state traffic laws. You feel compelled to chuckle for fear of not passing the course and getting your insurance rates jacked. Yet some chicks find these bozos snort-soda-through-your-nose hysterical.

Posted by: Scott in OC at February 15, 2009 04:11 PM (IWrbC)

42 Hell, I'd just settle for "Hotties Who Don't Ever Threaten to Burn Your House Down Because You Not Only Banged Their Best Friend, But Never Called Either One of Them Back".

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