Al Qaeda Gay-Rapes Young Men to, Um, Recruit Them As Suicide Bombers, or Something

Yeah. That's why I do it too.

It's not gay if you're holding a block of C-4.

Islamic terrorists are raping young men in order to drive them into suicide bombings.

The Sun quotes Algerian militant Abu Bair El Assimi:

"The sexual act on young recruits aged between 16 to 19 was a means to urge them to commit suicide operations."

The paper claims that "intense social stigma and fear of more gay sex attacks leaves Muslims prepared to die."

Rape and homosexual acts are punishable by death under Sharia law.

That's gotta be one of the more baroque I'm-not-really-gay excuses for gay rape I've ever heard. Coming soon: "we're just trying to tire ourselves out to give those 72 virgins a break" and "vaginas are pawns of the Jewish banking syndicate" and "I'm so straight I do this every three months just to 'test myself' -- I've got a perfect record so far."

How's that joke go? Ah yes: "This isn't just about the hunting anymore, is it?"

Via Hot Air's headlines, thanks to Andrew's Dad.

Al Qaeda Superheroes:

Language Warning. It's the "Know how I know you're gay?" part from 40 Year Old Version. Skip ahead a minute to get into the gay stuff.

Posted by: Ace at 02:31 PM


1 No comment.

Posted by: The Vikings at February 04, 2009 02:35 PM (hlYel)

2 With every personal ad, Andrew Sullivan was just creating more terrorists. Who knew?

Posted by: nickless at February 04, 2009 02:36 PM (MMC8r)

3 You know how I know your gay?
You're wearing a suicide vest.

Posted by: Judd at February 04, 2009 02:37 PM (Vu/kE)

4 I'm not sure I fully understand Islam.

Posted by: t-bird at February 04, 2009 02:37 PM (FcR7P)

5 I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess this won't get any coverage in the MSM.

Posted by: ECM at February 04, 2009 02:38 PM (q3V+C)

6 Them = Willing to buttfuck in order to achieve victory.
Us = Close Gitmo Now!! It's like fucking barbaric or something.
I mean seriously, who really wants to win the clash of civilizations thing and who doesn't?

Posted by: pendejo grande at February 04, 2009 02:39 PM (Qhz26)

7 Obama's "unclenched fist" request now makes sense.

Posted by: FreakyBoy at February 04, 2009 02:40 PM (4s1it)

8 What if they dressed the young lad's ass in a hibjab? Wouldn't it be like getting a blowjob from one of the local ladies - only with better smelling breath?

Off Sides.

Posted by: alppuccino at February 04, 2009 02:40 PM (nwXF9)

9 So, if I see someone wearing a bulky coat in the summer and he's rubbing his touchhole, I should get away from him -- faster than normal -- right?

Posted by: FireHorse at February 04, 2009 02:41 PM (5KNeJ)

10 Ululululululuu! *errrrrrrrkkkkkk* ULULULULULULULUULU!!!

Posted by: Squatch at February 04, 2009 02:44 PM (COZb8)

11 There's another story similar to this, I think from Gateway Pundit's blog. Some female jihadist was arrested who lured young women into being raped, and then offering them suicide vests as a means to 'atone' for their sins.
I wonder if Feministing will pick up on this story and offer their vagina-biased commentary.
I really do want to read what they'd say. Seriously.

Posted by: EC at February 04, 2009 02:45 PM (mAhn3)

12 Yeah, but this is from The Sun... Can it really be trusted?

Posted by: Pope at February 04, 2009 02:45 PM (glERM)

13 All right Ace, you're in New York, you get to frisk Sullivan...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at February 04, 2009 02:47 PM (aoD6h)

14 It is from Gateway Pundit's blog, linking it from a thread on LGF. Actual news story is from Herald Sun.

Posted by: EC at February 04, 2009 02:48 PM (mAhn3)

15 "Where've you been all night, Abdul? You've been RECRUITING again, haven't you?"

Posted by: nickless at February 04, 2009 02:49 PM (MMC8r)

16 What about the women and goats? Sigh..... the forgotten people.

Posted by: Scooter at February 04, 2009 02:52 PM (z6DST)

17 No, really, it is the only way they will learn. We do it selflessly for the cause.

Posted by: 100% Raging Hetero Islamist Drill Instructor at February 04, 2009 02:52 PM (v56hY)

18 You know how I know Al Qaeda's gay?

They like Coldplay.

Posted by: ace at February 04, 2009 02:53 PM (gEsIJ)

19 And these people complain about the Jews.

Posted by: nickless at February 04, 2009 02:53 PM (MMC8r)

20 Isn't that what the Spartans did? And to think, they'd be considered infidels too!

Posted by: TMQ at February 04, 2009 02:53 PM (aMu45)

21 Ohh Yeeeah!...Al Ki-EEEee-daa likes him some dat hot hairy Gee-haaa-de ass. It's da bomb!

Posted by: Iggey Schnetz at February 04, 2009 02:55 PM (quo6W)

22 "Remember young Hassan, it's no just a job, it's an adventure..."

Posted by: Rear Admiral Achmed at February 04, 2009 02:56 PM (4s1it)

23 "Rape and homosexual acts are punishable by death under Sharia law."

Yeah, well if these hypocrites believed in their "religion" they would all be dead without the help of the US military.

Posted by: Scooter at February 04, 2009 02:58 PM (z6DST)

24 You know how I know Ace is gay?

He's been repeatedly "linked" by The Daily Dish.

Posted by: Jack M. at February 04, 2009 03:00 PM (eOEgY)

25 >>4 I'm not sure I fully understand Islam.<<

You're not a homosexualunless you are on the receiving end, and enjoy it.

Posted by: Javems at February 04, 2009 03:02 PM (hq71Y)


Those people can put up with anything.

Posted by: Sen. Gov. E. Buzz Miller, PhD at February 04, 2009 03:04 PM (sf4Oe)

27 In other news: Barney Frank will be traveling to Iraq on a 'fact finding mission'. When reached for comment I need todo further study of the 'stimulus package'.

Posted by: Krazy Kat at February 04, 2009 03:09 PM (K4Zxt)

28 The paper claims that "intense social stigma and fear of more gay sex attacks leaves Muslims prepared to die."
Rape and homosexual acts are punishable by death under Sharia law.
The guys getting cornholed are worrying about Sharia law, but the guys driving get a free pass? I guess being a ptcher is less gay than being a catcher.

Posted by: Steve L. at February 04, 2009 03:09 PM (Gkhxf)

29 Hmmm.


There are just no words to deal with this weirdness.

Posted by: memomachine at February 04, 2009 03:09 PM (S2HL7)

30 This story is bullshit.

Achmedinejad already told us that there are no gays in the islamic world.

But, then again, I guess if you wrap a kaffeyah around the dude's head and do it for Mohammed it's really not gay...

Posted by: dan-O at February 04, 2009 03:09 PM (teb/C)

31 This is nothing like what happened to me, really.

Posted by: Barocrates H. Yomama at February 04, 2009 03:09 PM (1/FwS)

32 Death to Israel
Glory be to Mohammed
I like gay buttsex

Posted by: dan-O at February 04, 2009 03:11 PM (teb/C)

33 And the left is freaking out over waterboarding? Wonder how they are going to spin this....

Posted by: Jo at February 04, 2009 03:13 PM (r4ULk)

34 You know this explains why so many suicide bombers lately seem to have slim hips and tight, muscular buttocks.

Posted by: Tomtastic at February 04, 2009 03:13 PM (Sxrnp)

35 The error here is the age range. It begins at 9 and it is well documented that victims of pedophilia have sociopath tendencies.Mix in guilt, ten years of pedantic Islamic recitation,and the threat of a beheading for being raped, presto suicide bomber.
Kinda of explains a big partof the Islamic world's problems (and by extention ours).

Posted by: Jean at February 04, 2009 03:14 PM (L64A6)

36 You cannot be a homosexual in a Muslim country, they throw you in jail. And yes, they want us to be more tolerant and Obama is just about bending over backwards to accommodate.

Posted by: IC at February 04, 2009 03:18 PM (jZNCU)

37 Hey little boy, want a suicide vest?

Posted by: UncleFacts at February 04, 2009 03:19 PM (M+Vfm)

38 I'll bet if the rapist hollered "squeal like a pig for me!", the rapee would be, like, "okay, that's going a bit far, don't you think?".

Posted by: Squatch at February 04, 2009 03:20 PM (COZb8)

39 Oh that's just like you reich-wingers! Passing judgment on a cultural practice that you know nothing about. Could you be any more neo-colonial oppressive?

And, and let's remember these brave freedom fighters weren't doing anything truly awful like shouting at them or keeping them awake. Jeez!

Posted by: Broken Moral Compass of the Left at February 04, 2009 03:24 PM (kIjlp)

40 Why do all these terrorists keep sucking my cock?

Posted by: Bruce Heffernan at February 04, 2009 03:29 PM (BNbRR)

41 I was gang waped by a band of Muslims that wanted me to blow myself up but the joke was on them, I begged them fow mowe and mowe until they finally wilted and wan away!

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at February 04, 2009 03:32 PM (iafWn)

42 Apparently this is common practice. Boys from 12-13 up were reportedly raped as a routine matter at the behest ofwarlords, tribal chiefs, Iraq prior to our invasion. I guess this is their version of basic training.
Hey, all cultures are equal. In fact, don't we owe them some more apologies or something because at some point we may have offended them?
I'm being sarcastic to keep my rage and sadness from showing. I have a 14 year old son.
Another sick and tragic aspect of this whole business.

Posted by: RM at February 04, 2009 03:34 PM (XWJh5)

43 Yeah, that's what i really don't get about the whole pitcher isn't gay thang.

If you can get it up to bugger some guy's smelly bunghole, buddy, You. Are. Teh. Ghey.

Posted by: rinseandspit at February 04, 2009 03:34 PM (ao5cQ)

44 Well, this certainly explains Sullivan's actions over the past few years ...

Posted by: Fernandozer at February 04, 2009 03:35 PM (uHvsp)

45 4
I'm not sure I fully understand Islam.

Start here:

If the Satan started a religion....

Posted by: shibumi at February 04, 2009 03:36 PM (tZB/c)

46 Rape and homosexual acts are punishable by death under Sharia law.

And unlike corrupt and decadent Western jurisprudence, the more just and merciful Sharia law dictates that the death penalty is awarded to the victim.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 04, 2009 03:38 PM (FO+YO)

47 From Flight of the Conchords' "Bret You've Got it Going On."

Bret: "What's this bit about 'sometimes I put a wig on you while we're on tour'."
Jemaine: "Put a wig on you? No. It didn't say anything like that."
Bret: "It's definitely a bit gay."
Jemaine: "What is?"
Bret: "Putting a wig on me while I'm asleep."
Jemaine: "I think sometimes you hear what you want to hear. It wouldn't be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they're a woman. How could that be gay if you're pretending they're a woman?
Not that I did it."

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 04, 2009 03:38 PM (xGIqT)

48 Just getting rid of the evidence. Dead men tell no tales.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at February 04, 2009 03:43 PM (Ygf78)

49 i've been thinking about going into the suicide bombing business, now with the added bonus of gay rape, i just can't resist where do i sign up!

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at February 04, 2009 03:45 PM (IRh55)

50 "Obama is just about bending over backwards to accommodate."
Oh noes he's next!

Posted by: reason at February 04, 2009 03:47 PM (F26eZ)

51 "I'm not sure I fully understand Islam."

Islam means submission. This is just a more violent lesson in that.

Posted by: someone at February 04, 2009 03:49 PM (1wXl7)

52 Its a shame they didn't hold this story until Manlove Thursday.

Posted by: Jean at February 04, 2009 04:00 PM (L64A6)

53 Now you know why I supported them against George W. Bush's America.

Posted by: Andy Sullivan de Blog at February 04, 2009 04:06 PM (szcvf)

54 gang rape or suicide vest
suicide vest or gang rape
Its all just so confusing.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at February 04, 2009 04:07 PM (QMGr1)

55 And the left is freaking out over waterboarding? Wonder how they are going to spin this....

They spin it with the sound of crickets, ya dig......

Posted by: pendejo grande at February 04, 2009 04:10 PM (Qhz26)

56 In my mind I want to believe the young 'Catcher' will 'end up' in paradise.
..and the 'pitcher' will end up in..
oh wait! They're both already in HELL.
That's gay? It's coldplay.

Posted by: sickinmass at February 04, 2009 04:24 PM (/i4dU)

57 You know how I know you're gay?
You went to Offgoneeston to sign up for their suicide bomber rewards program.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at February 04, 2009 04:24 PM (E6GUg)

58 The Arab world doesn't consider "pitchers" to be gay - only the "catchers".

Posted by: Barney Stinson at February 04, 2009 04:26 PM (pfStM)

59 The Arab world doesn't consider "pitchers" to be gay - only the "catchers".

That stuff (no pun intended) is big in that culture. The mystery to me is how a supposedly straight guy can maintain a hard on while looking at at another man's hairy ass. Much less touching it. With your dick? Are you kidding me? Just thinking about it made my dick disappear. I got an innie now. Thanks. A straight man raping another man? There is just no way. No. Fucking. Way.

Posted by: Dang at February 04, 2009 04:34 PM (Y5LIx)

60 wow, this is almost too much to fathom... actually, it's quite sick. But with al-qaeda, nothing really surprises me.

Posted by: Comrade Tovya at February 04, 2009 04:35 PM (DAaYy)

61 So, do the suicide vests come in leather now? Fabulous.

Posted by: Roy at February 04, 2009 04:36 PM (cB77O)

62 Apparently there is no way to say "Don't ask, don't tell" in Arabic.

Posted by: comatus at February 04, 2009 04:40 PM (jWtbs)

63 OK,kid. Here's what we do. You blow me, thenI blow you....up.

Posted by: Jihad Johnny at February 04, 2009 04:41 PM (EVmYn)

64 I'll bet if the rapist hollered "squeal like a pig for me!", the rapee
would be, like, "okay, that's going a bit far, don't you think?".

Heh, took me a second, but that made me laugh pretty hard.

Posted by: dan-O at February 04, 2009 04:45 PM (teb/C)

65 I guess "Team America: World Police" has finally been translated into Arabic.

"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film
Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't
like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck
assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may
think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that
can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks
is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes
a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of
shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an
inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy,
crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole,
we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit"

Posted by: Aaron at February 04, 2009 04:47 PM (gftD1)

66 59 - What he said.

Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at February 04, 2009 04:48 PM (THsyA)

67 Not the least bit surprised about gay raping your way to terrorism.

About the females, I was told the girls' families were threatened. Whether saving families or avoiding shame, the results remain unchanged. Remotely detonated girls. Disturbing. The only good news to come from this is the number of sane Iraqis who are disturbed by the phenomena.

Posted by: Amanda at February 04, 2009 05:04 PM (SXosX)

68 Gee. Didn't the Weather Underground engage in lesbian and homosexual sex to fight the middle-class social construct of sexuality? I guess terrorists all think alike.

Posted by: andycanuck at February 04, 2009 05:08 PM (rtZbL)

69 42
Apparently this is common practice. Boys from 12-13 up were reportedly raped as a routine matter at the behest of warlords, tribal chiefs, etc. in Iraq prior to our invasion.

You know, the funny thing is this story reminds me of the IRS in America - taxpayers 18 and up and commonly raped as a routine matter at the behest of congressmen, state governors, etc. Unfortunately, there has been no invasion, and the IRS rape rooms are open 24/7.

Really scary stuff...

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 04, 2009 05:12 PM (iafWn)

70 Headline, Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish, tomorrow:

"Principled Reasons for My Conversion to Islam"

Posted by: nixon at February 04, 2009 05:34 PM (EquUj)

71 Damn, Shibumi, I've been thinking for at least a couple of years that ol' Moe should've asked "Gabriel" for some I.D.(Matthew 7:15.)
Mohammad was a false prophet, Allah is Satan, Islam is slavery.

Posted by: Delayna at February 04, 2009 05:38 PM (SQAoH)

72 CoolCzech (#69),
Don't worry about a thing now. Your fears are unfounded. Timothy Geitner is from the IRS and he is here to help you.

Posted by: RM at February 04, 2009 05:40 PM (GkYyh)

73 Gee. Didn't the Weather Underground engage in lesbian and homosexual sex to fight the middle-class social construct of sexuality? I guess terrorists all think alike.
Are you calling Bill Ayers a terrorist cocksucker? well, alrighty then.

Posted by: mark c at February 04, 2009 05:52 PM (EVmYn)


Posted by: Jim Treacher at February 04, 2009 05:52 PM (VeFGY)

75 OK, yeah, that was pretty fucking GAY.

(not that I'm gay or anything, no really, no I mean it...)

Posted by: D at February 04, 2009 06:00 PM (yVSg5)

76 A straight man raping another man?
Happens all the time in prisons.
So I've been told.

Posted by: Ralph L at February 04, 2009 06:04 PM (3nbmf)

77 Ralph L,

Are you saying living in an Islamic country is akin to being in prison?
That, sir, makes you a racist.
I think.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at February 04, 2009 06:20 PM (szcvf)

78 The obviously adhere to the warrior code of never leave a man behind... they just took it WAY out of context.

Posted by: Roc at February 04, 2009 06:45 PM (IrbU4)

79 In related news: Hobosexuals Aren't Gay, They're Just Promoting the Survival of the Herd...

Posted by: Fritz at February 04, 2009 06:46 PM (ad8lc)

Dear Osama,
I have been dorking this new recruit up the squeekhole every night for the past fortnight and have noticed that he cracks a mongrel nine times out of 10.
Could he be a secret homosexual?

Posted by: Concerned of Training Camp 37 at February 04, 2009 07:51 PM (q7uT4)

81 "That stuff (no pun intended) is big in that culture."

Not just in that culture, either. The idea that the pitcher is Not-Gay because he's just thrusting into someplace warm and moist (still acting like a man), but the catcher is because he receives a wang inside of him (acting like a woman), can also be found in Greece, Rome, the old wooden-walls navies, the British public schools, and your local prison. The latter three constitute what they call functional homosexuality: Guys who have sex with weaker guys because there aren't any women available.

In an Islamic culture, when women are a precious and shielded commodity while at the same time considered unclean, this sort of behavior can pop up. The use of it as a "recruitment" is a particularly terroristic spin on it: These guys are outlaws against and enforcers of the same Law. If the left takes any note of it, it will be to blame anti-gayness in general, the better to make sure that we all hate the true enemy, those creepy Mormons (Joseph Smith Lived In Missourri, DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM).

Posted by: Andrew the Noisy at February 04, 2009 08:04 PM (V0QP1)

82 This isn't the least bit surprising. Faggotry is apparently rampant in Afghanistan as well. I read an account of some occupying Brit troops who said some of the locals had offered to paint there fingernails and other such acts of faggotry. And I remember seeing news footage of the road to Kabul shortly after the invasion. There was a dead body lying on the side of the road....with its pants pulled down. Homo-test: If you see a body lying along side the road, do you: A) bury it B) notify the authoritays, or C) rip off its pants and ram your throbbing pork-spear up its lifeless shit-tunnel?

Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at February 04, 2009 08:46 PM (Yf3BU)

83 ...this sort of behavior can pop up.


Posted by: OregonMuse at February 04, 2009 08:47 PM (XUV9W)

84 Scene: young boy in short pants playing with tin soldiers in front of the hearth. His mother makes tea in the kitchen; his father sits, cross-legged, in the buster chair, smoking a pipe, reading the Telegraph.

"So, Daddy, what did you do during the war?"

Father uncrosses his legs, looks thoughtfully at the flickering logs in the fireplace.

"Well, son, I buttfucked boys--boys not much older than you, in fact--into doing their British Islamic duty. I was no hero, mind; we all did our part."

Posted by: General Zod at February 04, 2009 09:11 PM (XcsD4)

85 Those are the only two laws that I ------ about sharia law.

Posted by: joel at February 04, 2009 10:40 PM (8lrle)

86 I call BS. They're totally doing it for all the hot young sphincter action...

Posted by: Jones in CO at February 05, 2009 05:40 AM (KOkrW)

87 I don't want to say that my al qaeda friend is gay, but one morning I woke up with my pants around my ankles and my asshole was bleeding. And he was lying next to me smoking a cigarette.

Posted by: Kevin at February 05, 2009 06:04 AM (8uBBu)

88 76

A straight man raping another man?

Happens all the time in prisons.

So I've been told.

My point is that the straight due ain't straight if he's doin' another dude. He may say he's straight, but he ain't. He's just a dude who can't face the truth. He digs man ass and can't admit it.

Posted by: Dang at February 05, 2009 11:45 AM (Y5LIx)

89 So killing them is fine - it's putting them in prison that just creates more terrorists. Good to know.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at February 06, 2009 08:05 AM (o2slJ)

90 An autopsy? How the heck did they find a piece left of this guy to autopsy for anything?...I'm sure there was some tearing of the anus...

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