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Noted Tax Evader Wins Confirmation as Top Tax Collector, 60-34

Special bonus: The Republicans who voted for him did so, they say, because this guy was as non-lunatic-left as we could hope for.

But now he's damaged, and kind of owes Obama and the liberal senators for his job.

Thanks to DrewM.

Posted by: Ace at 06:46 PM



Comments

1 Its gonna be a long two years.

Posted by: Iblis at January 26, 2009 07:22 PM (9221z)

2 WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Look at me, everybody - I'm spinning in my grave!

Posted by: Alexander Hamilton at January 26, 2009 07:23 PM (O5nY8)

3 Hey! The blog is now unbusted!

Posted by: johnd01 at January 26, 2009 07:24 PM (sG3C/)

4 We would probably be better off if we could get the rest of Caligula's horse in the Senate instead of just his @ss.  Congress is a joke and the Senate is the punchline.

Posted by: Popcorn at January 26, 2009 07:26 PM (Tha0W)

5 If I delay my payments for the next 20 or so years, - this is no problem, right?

Posted by: Fritz at January 26, 2009 07:28 PM (ad8lc)

6 Where do I sign up for the revolution?

Posted by: Lyle Lanley at January 26, 2009 07:29 PM (e3TKF)

7 the idiot roster, via HA...

Corker
Cornyn
Crapo
Ensign
Graham
Gregg
Hatch
Shelby
Snowe
Voinovich

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 26, 2009 07:29 PM (InMdt)

8 I'll vote Neigh on going into that Senate.  I have my standards, 2-leggers.

Posted by: Incitatus at January 26, 2009 07:31 PM (n2eCn)

9 Well, he is the only capitalist in the administration.
Wonder what this place is going to look like after 4 years of looting the treasury, dismantling national defense and crippling industry.
It'll be Bush's fault.

Posted by: the real joe at January 26, 2009 07:34 PM (udP/u)

10
Steve Martin on how to make a million dollars and never pay taxes...

"First,  get a million dollars.  Then when the IRS asks why you didn't pay taxes on it,  say "I FORGOT!"


It was funny in the 1970s.

Guess you had to be there.

Posted by: Dang at January 26, 2009 07:36 PM (Y5LIx)

11 So this means I can "forget" to pay my taxes, right?

Posted by: scaramouche at January 26, 2009 07:37 PM (bNCCK)

12 Not the least bit suprised by a single one of those pole smoking RINOs.


Fuck each and every one of them.

Posted by: Unclefacts at January 26, 2009 07:39 PM (M+Vfm)

13

Obama sure is a forward thinker, eh?  He just created a new industry of daytime TV slip'n'fall lawyers who can't wait to make the 'I just made an honest mistake' excuse for their clients.  Unbelievably Obama just invoked the name of Alexander Hamilton while talking about Geithner!!

We're FUCKED with this AFFIRMATIVE ACTION CHARLETON

God help us

Posted by: Wino Rino at January 26, 2009 07:40 PM (HN2YO)

14 i say if the guy ain't a left-wing loon, then confirm him; he can't be worse than paulson.  as soon as the IRS can't prosecute anyone due to tax dodgers using the geithner defense...the democrats can own it.  it's a win win.

Posted by: matt foley at January 26, 2009 07:42 PM (f6IGq)

15 Why did;nt the repubs use this guy as example of a shitty tax code. Did any repub
ask if he was going to simplify the tax code.

Posted by: todd at January 26, 2009 07:42 PM (4S1kO)

16 As a senator votes should be based on your principles. No game playing, no politicing, no trades, no hoping for the best, no scratching anyone's back. You simply vote for or against something BECAUSE IT'S WRONG or because it's right. How is it difficult to do. They only make it complicated when they are worried about covering their ass.

I asked earlier, is being a senator so cushy and lucrative that when doing the right thing puts you in a position to lose your job it's just too much to lose?

Posted by: mare at January 26, 2009 07:43 PM (X1fsj)

17 From now on, Geithner should always be referred to as 'Noted tax evader and Treasury Secretary Geithner' or 'Noted tax cheat and Treasury Secretary Geithner'. 

Obama should always be referred to as, 'The President who knowingly appointed a tax cheating criminal as treasury secretary'.

Use left's playbook against them.

Posted by: Tushar at January 26, 2009 07:45 PM (PTWes)

18 I save a bundle on my business taxes by switching to Geithner.

Posted by: Old Sailor at January 26, 2009 07:45 PM (/Ft4q)

19 Good thing there are no politically motivated types at the IRS whose Spider sense will tell them to put those Republican "Yes" voters at the top of the audit list.

...

Posted by: HINT HINT at January 26, 2009 07:48 PM (Hc34T)

20 The Repubs can FOff.

Tea Bag Party Unite!  No tax returns this year.  Send the bastards tea bags.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at January 26, 2009 07:48 PM (iYbLN)

21 I hope that Alabama hangs Shelby ... WTF?  Has he gone senile?

Anyway - there's no use in despair.  Obama can be beat at his own game.  He's going to have over half of the country NOT paying income tax pretty soon - and guess which half YOU'RE going to be in?  Hehe.

You chumps are fools to just sit there and take it - and let him redistribute YOUR money to crack heads and slacker college communists.

It takes some work - but you CAN find those ways to cheat the government out of it's money.  You could take a bit of a lesson from our new Treasury Secretary.  You could also do other things - open a farcical "carbon credit" scam and take advantage of those tax benefits coming.  Buy a solar powered watch and take advantage of alternative energy credits.

And when the reparations come - change your race to African American.  Might want to do that now. 

Point being here ... fellow TAX PAYERS ... we now need to find ways to hide and keep our money. 

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Posted by: HondaV65 at January 26, 2009 07:49 PM (9vlDt)

22 By the way these guys (republicans who voted for him) are not smart enough to think this is the best we could hope for. These guys are morons.

Don't try thinking just vote against something you know is wrong. IDIOTS.

It's kind of like Bush signing McCain/Feingold thinking the supreme court would shut it down. Well, they didn't and now we're screwed. And now, like Ace said, Obama's got a crook in his cabinet that owes him a BIG favor. Retards. Really these people in office are seriously stupid.

Posted by: mare at January 26, 2009 07:50 PM (X1fsj)

23 Good one, Old Sailor.

Posted by: mare at January 26, 2009 07:51 PM (X1fsj)

24 Heh!  I never betrayed the the "United States of America", I only changed my mind about rebelling against a crazy monarch.

How ironic are the names "Democratic" and "Republican"? You rabble would be better off with a monarch.

Posted by: Benedict Arnold's Ghost at January 26, 2009 07:51 PM (nx6c+)

25 Nice to see ol' bugeyes Graham displaying his lack of a backbone along with George "anybody got a Kleenex" Voinovich.  What a lovely pair of cocksuckers.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 26, 2009 07:55 PM (ZW5eD)

26 Steve Martin on how to make a million dollars and never pay taxes... "First,  get a million dollars.  Then when the IRS asks why you didn't pay taxes on it,  say "I FORGOT!"   It was funny in the 1970s. Guess you had to be there.

Actually, it wasn't funny in the 1970s either.  I always thought the guy was painfully lame.

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 26, 2009 07:56 PM (fWF4Q)

27 Tax cheat as Sect. of the Treasury, check. No lobbyists in my administration, until I say it's okay, check, MSM ignoring all this as usual, check. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at January 26, 2009 07:56 PM (sCCGl)

28 I had heard that there was a sale going on after Nov 4 on knee pads and lube...

Posted by: J David at January 26, 2009 07:56 PM (nx6c+)

29

Sorry, Off topic:  Did anyone see this yet?  Obama gives first official TV interview as US President to CNN!  Er...AL FUCKING ARABIYA

Again...sorry..off topic

Posted by: jimmieb at January 26, 2009 07:58 PM (smemM)

30 Tax cheat as Sect. of the Treasury, check. No lobbyists in my administration, until I say it's okay, check, MSM ignoring all this as usual, check. Nothing to see here folks, move along.

All this shit would be hysterical if it weren't, you know our country that they're fucking up.  Remember, elections have consequences, and this is Exhibit A.  Maybe we'll remember that and get off our asses in 2012. 

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 26, 2009 07:59 PM (fWF4Q)

31 As an Ohioan I think its time the party got some decent Senate candidates on the ticket. I understand Voinovich is stepping down after his term ends, so the time to act is now. He was a good governor but a shitty Republican.

Posted by: Alex at January 26, 2009 07:59 PM (Tr7vq)

32 Seriously, Why are you a Republican?

Posted by: R. Ziskey at January 26, 2009 08:01 PM (LlaBi)

33 Was that 34(R) nos or did some D's vote against him?  Does that mean we need 7 more Conservatives in the Senate before we stop blocking the shit from the socialists?

Posted by: David at January 26, 2009 08:01 PM (NgoAe)

34 HondaV65,

ever since the Jug-eared One was elected, I have been thinking of ways to reduce my tax burden. How's this for a grand scheme:

Let us say we open a charitable foundation whose mandate is to help poor people. Able citizens will be encouraged to offer their skills and time to help the poor. The Charity will try to reward the donors in small ways.

Let us assume that I am a plumber. I go to the charity and offer 10 hours of plumbing work to charity. The Charity recognizes this at $50 an hour, and gives me a certificate of charity worth $500. I pledge to do 10 hours of plumbing work for whosoever The Charity wishes. Now, because I have been donating my time instead of earning money, I am a poor person in need of some help from The Charity.

The owner of the local grocery also offers $500 worth of food items to The Charity, and offers to donate them to whosoever The Charity wants to help.

The Charity 'requests' me to fix the grocer's bathroom, and 'requests' the grocer to give me $500 worth of food.

In real life, I would probably work for an accountant, who will donate his services to a doctor, and so on, instead of the grocer and I directly trading with donating to each other.

As this is all charity, there is no income, and Uncle Obama does not get his cut.

Is such a scheme workable?


Posted by: Tushar at January 26, 2009 08:02 PM (PTWes)

35 Did Bush take every opportunity in the first days of his presidency to knock his predecessor?

Was this unusual?   Is the Secretary of the Treasury immediately sworn in right after the vote?

The prez thanked Carol, the wife, for her service.  Is this a new thing?  When one spouse serves in government it is considered the other one is serving also?  So now, at every election do we have to not only consider the candidate but their spouse?

Posted by: silly one at January 26, 2009 08:03 PM (zplc6)

36 It was funny in the 1970s.

Guess you had to be there.

Seriously, I here that Steve Martin gave this joke and... I just don't find it funny.  Can someone explain the humor?

Posted by: RedFox84 at January 26, 2009 08:06 PM (9H4sW)

37 Great! A Real ass fucking. Tim had to be confirmed because he knew what was under the hood. They couldn't take a chance of someone else finding out that this new economy is now based on AGW. What a scheme! Its OVER Morons. Get OFF the grid anyway you can. With the cafe standards being decided by 13 states and counting say goodbye to freedom to move about in a car. Hello Apt/condo  and living in the cities/communes. USSA!
I say FUCK THEM.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 26, 2009 08:08 PM (/i4dU)

38 He (Voinovich) was a good governor but a shitty Republican.

Alex, of course you're entitled to your opinion but I think you're giving him way too much credit; an "ok" is the highest grade I think he deserved.  Although in comparison to Celeste, a northern version of Clinton complete with a "wife" that, between the two of them they tried to sleep with every woman in Ohio, I guess I see your point.  He never met a spending bill he didn't like, hated tax cuts, and never brought business into the state like Rhodes did unless it benefited his crooked brother.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 26, 2009 08:10 PM (ZW5eD)

39 Obamalama ding dong.

Posted by: Robert at January 26, 2009 08:11 PM (VotgB)

40

Is the arrow in the head gag still funny?

I would really like to drop that whole routine...

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:12 PM (1dOyI)

41 I'm so confused. Good call Susie Q

Posted by: Biscuiteater at January 26, 2009 08:20 PM (2JF/+)

42

Don't get me wrong.

I'm still a "wild and crazy guy", but I'm about ready to collect Social Security and I'm facing hip replacement surgery, etc.  My doctor told me "tone down" my act...and I really hate the fuckin' arrow.

There.  I said it.

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:24 PM (1dOyI)

43 Can't we get a serial child molester for Attorney General? You know, just so we have a matched set of boobs...

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 08:25 PM (iafWn)

44 42: Tut, tut, Steve! I always hated how you danced like an Egyptian.

Posted by: King Tut at January 26, 2009 08:26 PM (iafWn)

45 Richard Pryor's version was much funnier.

(Pryor in court for income tax evasion)

Pryor: But your honor, I forgot!

Judge: You'll remember next year, n____r.

Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at January 26, 2009 08:26 PM (xQaLw)

46 Tax cheat. check
Liberal Democrat. check

Oh great, our money is safe now.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2009 08:26 PM (vQbE+)

47

Why do you think I need the hip replacement, Pharaoh?

I've had a good run with my "physical" brand of comedy...now is the time to "tone it down" and take a George Burns approach...

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:28 PM (1dOyI)

48 Hey, seeing as this isn't a big deal any more, can I get a pardon now?

Posted by: Al Capone at January 26, 2009 08:28 PM (amTWt)

49 God, every new thread today is depressing.

Can we PLEASE have a new Pussy Discussion thread???

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 08:29 PM (iafWn)

50

I wish I was black.

Then I would get the recognition that my comedy deserves!

I wonder if can get a comedy career reputation bailout from Obama...they say he's a miracle worker.

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:29 PM (1dOyI)

51 How many people here us deductions when doing taxes? I have so many deductions that I get all my federal and most of my state taxes back. That's how I keep my money. True, uncle sam gets to use it for a little while but it comes back to me. Don't use H&R Block......find a good tax accountant, it's worth the money.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 26, 2009 08:30 PM (krKUp)

Posted by: Reiver at January 26, 2009 08:31 PM (HFT94)

53

I agree CoolCzech, let's talk about Roxanne!

Man, I was really great in that movie...

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:31 PM (1dOyI)

54 What's next?  An Attorney General who pardoned a tax cheat in exchange for donations to a Presidential Library?  Oh, wait.

Posted by: Reiver at January 26, 2009 08:32 PM (HFT94)

55 Anyone else watching CNBC, one depressing "breaking news" item  after another.   Geez, was anyone honest?         Now I can understand the people who say they can't even trust a balance sheet anymore.  This is getting too bizarre for words.

Posted by: silly one at January 26, 2009 08:33 PM (zplc6)

56 Come on guys lighten up on Obama and the republicans. This is another HISTORIC MOMENT. This is the first time we put a tax cheat in charge of the IRS.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 08:35 PM (uJzOr)

57 @50: and quite the miracle it would take, Steve.

I never liked your Wild and Crazy Guy from Czechoslovakia routine either... asshole

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 08:36 PM (iafWn)

58 Well, after "too big to fail" it should be no surprise that we get "too important to hold accountable."  If what the Republicans offered was a culture of corruption, I'll take it over this staggering masterpiece of hypocrisy masquerading as change you can believe in.  Change my ass.  For the worse.

Posted by: Crimso at January 26, 2009 08:36 PM (Gci4c)

59 I can write a routine around this Geithner fellow...Bush put him in charge of the Treasury, right?  He's sooooooooooo dumb.

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:36 PM (1dOyI)

60

Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Me!

(C'mon, you giggled...I still got it)

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:38 PM (1dOyI)

61 @56: You mean Geithner is the First Tax Cheating-American to be Named Secretary of the Treasury?

Wow. And we there there, folks!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 08:38 PM (iafWn)

62 60 "Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Me!

(C'mon, you giggled...I still got it)"


Maybe a shot of penicillin will help get rid of it...

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 08:39 PM (iafWn)

63 @61 yup, it's a year of historic firsts.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 08:40 PM (uJzOr)

64 I'm too big to fail.

Get it? Huh? I made a funny...

Posted by: Ron Jeremy at January 26, 2009 08:40 PM (iafWn)

65 If you guys want to talk about pussy, then how about we discuss my co-star from "The Jerk"?  Bernadette Peters had a really nice rack.  It's a shame about the double knee replacement surgery...where did the time go?

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:41 PM (1dOyI)

66

Hi Ron!

Have you considered partnering up in a sequel to "Roxanne"?  Size matters for both parts...

Posted by: Steve Martin at January 26, 2009 08:42 PM (1dOyI)

67 revolution.

Posted by: . at January 26, 2009 08:43 PM (NP89/)

68 Uhhh.... probably wherever your talent went.

Sorry, but pussy in the context of double knee replacement surgery just don't do a thing for my shwong...

Posted by: Ron Jeremy at January 26, 2009 08:43 PM (iafWn)

69

56 Come on guys lighten up on Obama.

Fuck NO!

There is but one explanation for the slavish, sycophantic fawning that liberals express toward Obama--only one thing that explains their illogical howling, their servile hero-worship.

Lifelong dependents themselves, they erupt in vicarious euphoria at his election, never seeing the irony in their perverted values that make them attack virtue, wallow in self-flagellation, and elevate everything, including the rights of terrorists and even the atmosphere, above the freedom of the individual, FREE American, for which much blood has been shed.

The answer is that liberalism is a mental disorder. Liberalism is completely contrary to human nature. It does not work in practice except for a while, and always at the expense of those who actually produce wealth.

Obama is a spoiled brat, not a hero, and certainly no gifted speaker or thinker. He's a misfit kid whose parent(s) never told him no.

He's propped up by teleprompters, boot-licking MSM talking heads, and propagandists, and he rules by executive order the same way his fellow lawyers legislate through the courts.

His style of government resembles Brezhnev's more than Washington's, and his supporters, no geniuses themselves, suck their thumbs and chant "Mama!" (oh, I mean, "Obama!"), not realizing that he is already chipping away at the means of our greatness. May his "reign" be short. Fuck off Obama.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 26, 2009 08:44 PM (/i4dU)

70 @69, sickinmass, I believe you took me out of context.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 08:49 PM (uJzOr)

71 I already ripped Cornyn a big one. I can't fucking believe I helped my local GOP campaign for the dickcheese. What a waste of my time for Obama's Bitch.

What in Hades was wrong with him?

Posted by: Sekhmet at January 26, 2009 08:51 PM (Vz+LS)

72 Is such a scheme workable?

But the food would be "Payment in kind." Compensation paid in any form is taxable wages (unless specifically excluded, such as expense reimbursements or employee moving expenses).  I guess the IRS would have trouble proving that you didn't pay for said food elsewhere. It'd have to be really egregious for the IRS to go after you.

"The Forgotten Man" reminded me that several cities and towns issued their own form of currency or scrip during the Depression. It didn't mention whether anyone was prosecuted for not paying taxes on scrip.

Posted by: adamthemad at January 26, 2009 08:55 PM (kIjlp)

73 No offense Robtr! ANY excuse to rant and I go off. Just pissed off about Aunti, Tim tax cheat and Obama's press conference to the Arab street. Please forgive me.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 26, 2009 08:57 PM (/i4dU)

74

Whence the two colossal birds fly into the twin mountains, after a period of pestilence, the one will descend from the clouds and cut the bonds of hate that have so tormented this world. And all will be good.

Nostradamus, Quatrain 69U8

Posted by: Biscuiteater at January 26, 2009 08:57 PM (2JF/+)

75

#7,...

That can't possible be the entire list. I don't see Martinez on there and it's simply not possible that Martinez chose not to vote for him.

Oh, and on PBS now, 'The trials of J. Robert Oppenheimer'

Posted by: jmflynny at January 26, 2009 09:01 PM (+yrfk)

76 >>From now on, Geithner should always be referred to as 'Noted tax evader and Treasury Secretary Geithner' or 'Noted tax cheat and Treasury Secretary Geithner'. <<

Whatever. The guy has shown disdain for tax collection. Good on him.

Geithner has no respect for the nation's tax-gathering shakedown operation. I don't know where the rest of you pussies get your marching orders, but that guy speaks my language. I'd prefer to have a corrupted administrator in that office rather than a lily-white enforcer-- at least when the chips are down he'll be more likely to tacitly advocate permissiveness rather than the hardcore zeal of the sinless.

Posted by: railwriter at January 26, 2009 09:02 PM (XcsD4)

77 Someone please wake me up when this nightmare is over...

Posted by: '80sBaby at January 26, 2009 09:03 PM (zmiSr)

78 74: whence the two colossal turds waltz into the white house, after a period of extended whining and hysteria, the one turd will plop down from the heavens all over his people and cut loose peals of laughter from those their ignorant rants of hate so long tormented. All all will be good.

Nastyanus, Screwloose FU2

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 09:05 PM (iafWn)

79 I can't believe that ass is going to be signing our money.

Posted by: jmflynny at January 26, 2009 09:06 PM (+yrfk)

80 77 Someone please wake me up when this nightmare is over...

I'll set the alarm for 2012... and stop hogging the blanket!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 09:06 PM (iafWn)

81 Can we PLEASE have a new Pussy Discussion thread???

How about the only funny joke from Steve Martin's standup act?

"So the other night I was playing with my girlfriend's pussy..."

(audience roars)

"Oh, come ON....I was talking about her CAT. You people have the dirtiest minds, and you should be ashamed of yourselves......"

"That cat was the best fuck I ever had."

He's a hell of a banjo player though.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 26, 2009 09:07 PM (MKNSy)

82 I'll set the alarm for 2012...

So just in time for the universe to end.  Good choice!

Posted by: alexthechick at January 26, 2009 09:08 PM (DMkhn)

83 Geithner's first act will be to send out a memo to all Treasury Employees warning them that not paying their taxes will be ground for instant dismissal.

This administration is just too sad for words.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 09:08 PM (iafWn)

84

72

The Forgotten Man" reminded me that several cities and towns issued their own form of currency or scrip during the Depression. It didn't mention whether anyone was prosecuted for not paying taxes on scrip.

Posted by: adamthemad at January 26, 2009 08:55 PM (kIjlp)

 

You should read Molon Labe by Boston T Party and Unintended Consequenses by John Ross.

Posted by: Pinandpuller at January 26, 2009 09:12 PM (s/EWa)

85

ott, Byron York wrote an article about Obama's White House counsel, Greg Craig, & Craig's support for a Panamanian terrorist who killed a US Army sgt:

http://tinyurl.com/a6lavq

Posted by: adagioforstrings at January 26, 2009 09:12 PM (PXjzk)

86 @81:

Well, since you opened the door...

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 09:12 PM (iafWn)

87 Voinovich can fuck himself. I wish Kasich was still around but he prefers a normal life. Boehner needs to step up and be a thorn in Obama's side. I didn't get that from his interview with Hannity.

Posted by: Erikw at January 26, 2009 09:13 PM (hKtiw)

88 WASHINGTON – New York Federal Reserve Bank President Timothy Geithner won confirmation Monday as President Barack Obama's treasury secretary despite personal tax lapses that turned more than a third of the Senate against him.


Whoopsie! Timmy had a tax lapse.

Obama said there had been a "devastating loss of trust and confidence" and that the financial system was in "serious jeopardy."

So you put a guy who couldn't be trusted to pay his own taxes in charge.

Three Democrats and one independent voted against Geithner's confirmation, including Sen. Robert C. Byrd, D-W.Va., the longest-serving senator in history.

"Had he not been nominated for treasury secretary, it's doubtful that he would have ever paid these taxes," Byrd said in a statement.


Byrd and the truth? Who would have thunk it?


Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2009 09:14 PM (vQbE+)

89

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad Pussy?  Who knew?

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 09:18 PM (uJzOr)

90 89
Bad Pussy? Who knew?


Rosie's thingfriend...

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 09:23 PM (iafWn)

91 Bad Pussy?  Who knew?

But enough about the RNC.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 26, 2009 09:25 PM (MKNSy)

92 Geithner is an unforced error. His appointment is now in the book. We can expect Chicago Jesus to make many more, and when he runs again for his "spend term" in 2012, mistakes like Geithner (and Lynn, and DADT) will be easy talking points. As long as the GOP runs a strong candidate (and no, Palin is not a strong candidate), The One's tenure could be one term.

That his first significant decision was the choice of a mentally retarded plagiarist for vice president says everything that needs saying about his judgement. If he smarts up in a year--and doesn't build a legacy of poor decisionmaking--I'll be the most surprised.

Posted by: railwriter at January 26, 2009 09:26 PM (XcsD4)

93 at least when the chips are down he'll be more likely to tacitly advocate permissiveness rather than the hardcore zeal of the sinless.

What makes you think that?

There are rules for him; then there are rules for you.

Posted by: Alana at January 26, 2009 09:26 PM (JE2zV)

94 Oh, come on, how bad can it be?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 26, 2009 09:27 PM (yIy7z)

95 Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

That's just not fair!  It's not.

Posted by: AD at January 26, 2009 09:30 PM (amTWt)

96 Screw it, I like scotch anyway.

Posted by: AD at January 26, 2009 09:31 PM (amTWt)

97 #71 What is wrong with Cornyn?  He just got re-elected that is what is wrong with him.  He is going to give us the shaft for about four years before he starts pretending to be a conservative again.

Voted against him in the republican primary, voted for the libertarian in November, and ashamed I didn't run against him as I promised I would. 


Posted by: John Galt at January 26, 2009 09:32 PM (Ylv1H)

98 I'll vote Neigh on going into that Senate.  I have my standards, 2-leggers.

Posted by: Incitatus at January 26, 2009 07:31 PM (n2eCn)



Thanks for that. Laughed for a good solid minute.

Posted by: nightwitch at January 26, 2009 09:32 PM (NXY/0)

99

Reply #16 Mare, to answer your question:

     "Sir, there are two passions which which have a powerful influence on men.  These are ambition and avarice; the love of power and the love of money.  Separately, each of these has great force in prompting men to action; but when united in view of the same object, they have in many minds the most violent effects.  Place before the eyes of such men a post of honor, that shall at the same time be a place of profit, and they shall move Heaven and Earth to obtain it." Ben Franklin

Short answer to your query, yes.

Ben was pretty old when he stated this, so he a forgot about sex having a pretty strong influence.

Posted by: Dan at January 26, 2009 09:32 PM (ygjiI)

100 Ben was pretty old when he stated this, so he a forgot about sex having a pretty strong influence.

Perhaps, but that old libertine probably had a good memory of past pleasures.

Favorite Ben Franklin quote: Neither a fortress nor a virgin can hold out for long, once they begin to negotiate.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 26, 2009 09:38 PM (MKNSy)

101 Alana: He's going to be cagey enough not to tempt fate twice. He's not going to invite any more scrutiny than he's already gotten.

You can indulge in unproductive tribal nostrums like "there's two sets of rules," but be sure that the guy isn't going to be an energized enforcer.

Posted by: railwriter at January 26, 2009 09:42 PM (XcsD4)

102 I'm not the least bit sure of that, railwriter.  Also, remember that they did not charge him penalty (on top of the fee) for his transgressions.  They will you, though.

It seems to me this appointment is the poke in the eye to the citizens.  It is intended to show us that we matter not at all.  It is meant to put us in our place.  A clear sign.  We'd have to be idiots to not notice that, I think.

Posted by: Alana at January 26, 2009 09:46 PM (JE2zV)

103

I tend to agree with Alana on this one. My first thought with the confirmation was what must be Obama's terrible disregard for the citizenry. Afterall, he "won". He's like the asshole VP at work who lacks the education, talent, or political finnesse of others at his level and thus chooses to throw his weight around, and against, those lower on the totem pole.

Yes. I know. Obama has an ivy league education. Yet, he's acting like a managment trainee who thinks he can run the company after just a few days on the job. Pretty admned arrogant, really, when you consider his lack of experience, and the vast experience of most everyone in D.C. that isn't named Obama.

He is a petulant little shit who's simply playing house. Unfortunately, he's doing it in the White House.

Posted by: jmflynny at January 26, 2009 09:54 PM (+yrfk)

104

It seems to me this appointment is the poke in the eye to the citizens.  It is intended to show us that we matter not at all.  It is meant to put us in our place.  A clear sign.  We'd have to be idiots to not notice that, I think.

I think you are right Alana, It's like the new cafe standards for Detroit. Obama rides in a huge limo getting gallons per mile instead of miles per gallon and flies on a personal jet that happens to be a 747 for his comfort and safety.

On the other hand if a mom wants to buy an SUV for the comfort and safety of her family it will soon be against the law.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 09:56 PM (uJzOr)

105 I'm gonna use Turbo Tax to fuck the IRS... and tell'em to call Timothy if they got a problem.

Posted by: Bobaloo at January 26, 2009 10:02 PM (CoOYX)

106 Heh.  Jim Geraghty notes this section in the Stimulus bill.

Congress has given the Illinois legislature one more incentive to remove Blago from office as quickly as possible—in an unusual venue: The stimulus bill:

None of the funds provided by this Act may be made available to the State of Illinois, or any agency of the State, unless (1) the use of such funds by the State is approved in legislation enacted by the State after the date of the enactment of this Act, or (2) Rod R. Blagojevich no longer holds the office of Governor of the State of Illinois.The preceding sentence shall not apply to any funds provided directly to a unit of local government (1) by a Federal department or agency, or (2) by an established formula from the State.


Posted by: toby928 at January 26, 2009 10:02 PM (PD1tk)

107

The One now wanders through the cool mountains, in wonderment of the green checks of trees.

I will name this forest Cool Check.

Nostradamus, Quatrain 69U9

Posted by: Biscuiteater at January 26, 2009 10:04 PM (2JF/+)

108

Damn it CoolCzech, if some government shithead reads that crack "The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy." they're gonna get ideas.  Next thing you know there's gonna be a $50 poon tax (probably sold as being "for the children") thereby making it even MORE expensive to get some.  Who needs that??  Add that to the "too damn ugly" surcharge that the whores already charge me and it puts that commodity well outside my budget!

Posted by: Reactionary at January 26, 2009 10:14 PM (4nbyM)

109 @108: If you think that's rough, just wait until Al Gore demands you buy Pussy Fart Offset Credits!

Posted by: Barney Frank at January 26, 2009 10:26 PM (iafWn)

110 Hey you dumb f*cking morons, suggest you do your 'tax planning' off line.

Posted by: Les Grossman at January 26, 2009 10:28 PM (Vc/xe)

111 Cornyn and Shelby voted for the tax cheat?  wtf?   that can't be right.

Posted by: james23 at January 26, 2009 10:33 PM (Vc/xe)

112 I'm sorry, reactionary: maybe Obama will introduce an Alternative Minimum Pussy Tax Credit or something for underlayed citizens like you.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 10:34 PM (iafWn)

113

 

Comments about my daughters Malawi and Laqueefer are off limits.

 

 

Posted by: Barack Barry Hussein Soetero Obama Dunham Fuckhead bastard spawn of a white whore. at January 26, 2009 10:36 PM (XO5m/)

114 I thought it was Sasha and Malaria??

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 26, 2009 10:39 PM (iafWn)

115

"Geithner has no respect for the nation's tax-gathering shakedown operation. I don't know where the rest of you pussies get your marching orders, but that guy speaks my language. I'd prefer to have a corrupted administrator in that office rather than a lily-white enforcer-- at least when the chips are down he'll be more likely to tacitly advocate permissiveness rather than the hardcore zeal of the sinless."

Yeah, well I'd rather have the preeners pushing the bullshit on everyone else to personally feel the effects of their immoral and stupid policies. Good and hard. Because as long as they personally fly high, even while sinking the country, it'll never end.

If you're imagining this dude would sit back and hold up his glass to you, fellow rebel mocking the system and all, you're nuts. He'd lecture you of your sworn duty to slit your own wrist, even while he took his own shit and ran.

Posted by: MlR at January 26, 2009 10:44 PM (PLmsY)

116 .

Thank you Obama.

This is a huge chunk of heat-tempered red meat. My lefty friends will shudder and cower as I beat them over the head with this juicy certified-organic ball peen hammer.

Imbued with +2 bane to hypocrisy!


Posted by: 13times at January 26, 2009 10:47 PM (fod8E)

117 I hope that Alabama hangs Shelby

How about if we just vote him out?

Posted by: Greg in Alabama at January 26, 2009 10:49 PM (z9YQq)

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Posted by: Milesdei at January 26, 2009 10:52 PM (ACHxk)

119

Ill Tempered cur,

     Gotta admit that's a great quote. Ben got further negotioting with the ladies than my begging and pleading ever did for me.

Posted by: Dan at January 26, 2009 11:00 PM (ygjiI)

120 Barry wanted a tax cheat to run the Treasury but he wouldn't give Blago a job? Blago is a modern day MLK, Gandhi, and Mandela all rolled into one. How could he not give him a job in his oh most ethical administration?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 26, 2009 11:02 PM (vQbE+)

121 must be a valu right night...

Posted by: Indian outlaw at January 26, 2009 11:03 PM (RSRH4)

122 A 4 Inch Stack of $1,000 bills equals $1 mil
A 63 Mile Stack of $1,000 bills equals $1 Trillion
The One's bail-out $1 Trillion
Who's gonna miss a few inches here and there..  he's gotta good tax guy.
Glenn Beck... I know.gloom doom

Posted by: Indian outlaw at January 26, 2009 11:14 PM (RSRH4)

123 These are all great comments. Only thing I can add is the reason steve Martin's comedy was good in the day is because we were all stoned

Posted by: bob hussein dole at January 26, 2009 11:14 PM (yl9yA)

124 IT'S Sick the amount of money they are spending!  Do they see 4 inches equals $1 MIL... 63 fucking miles equals a $$Trillion!!!  Fuck 'em all!!  The maverick and his side kick too.

Posted by: Indian outlaw at January 26, 2009 11:19 PM (RSRH4)

125 "111 Cornyn and Shelby voted for the tax cheat?  wtf?   that can't be right.

Posted by: james23 at January 26, 2009 10:33 PM (Vc/xe)"


I suspect they know they will get audited if they didn't. 

Posted by: Annie at January 26, 2009 11:26 PM (g+A6A)

126 Sounds like a guy I could get along with.

Posted by: Wesley Snipes at January 26, 2009 11:29 PM (5DhtJ)

127 123 These are all great comments. Only thing I can add is the reason steve Martin's comedy was good in the day is because we were all stoned

I wasn't stoned, I was drunk back then. And by back then, I mean right now.

Posted by: Unclefacts at January 26, 2009 11:39 PM (M+Vfm)

128 I'd like to submit my name for consideration to head the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Posted by: Al Capone at January 26, 2009 11:46 PM (1g+FW)

129 Not so fast Al, I'll have to see your testicles first.

Posted by: Orin Hatch at January 26, 2009 11:47 PM (1g+FW)

130

A 63 Mile Stack of $1,000 bills equals $1 Trillion

That means that our deficit this year of $  2 Trillion is a stack of $1,000 bills 126 miles high. That is from the earths surface to fucking outer space.

That's conforting.

Posted by: robtr at January 26, 2009 11:52 PM (uJzOr)

131 129 Not so fast Al, I'll have to see your testicles first.

Posted by: Orin Hatch at January 26, 2009 11:47 PM (1g+FW)

Look, buddy, I believe I called dibs.

Posted by: J. Edgar Hoover at January 27, 2009 12:21 AM (amTWt)

132 Hey can anyone remeber SPACE GHOST? Obama is hiring his old enermies to be in his cabnet like ZORAK as SECRATARY OF HOMELAND SECURITY,BRACK as SECRATARY OF DEFENSE,CREATURE KING as SECRATARY OF THE INTERIOR,LURKER as SECRATARY OF THE TREASURY and BLACKWIDOW as SECRATARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES and oh yes METALUS as SECRATARY OF EDUCATION

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at January 27, 2009 12:22 AM (j6f/Y)

133

That means that our deficit this year of $  2 Trillion is a stack of $1,000 bills 126 miles high. That is from the earths surface to fucking outer space.

That's conforting.

If you use $1 bills the stack would stretch more than halfway to the moon. 

Posted by: jarod at January 27, 2009 12:35 AM (A23Gx)

134 Ok, that's enough fooling around...hic...for...me.

I get the Deptartment of Transpor hic tation.

My niece gets my seat.

hic

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at January 27, 2009 12:35 AM (ROpbq)

135 That means that our deficit this year of $  2 Trillion is a stack of $1,000 bills 126 miles high. That is from the earths surface to fucking outer space.

That's why my first order will be that we use thinner paper. Problem solved.

Posted by: Tim' Geithner at January 27, 2009 12:35 AM (V8f//)

136 I get Ambassador to Uruguay!

Posted by: Adolph Shickelgruber Jr. at January 27, 2009 12:37 AM (ROpbq)

137 Oh, and I'm so glad George "John Bolton makes me cry" Voinovich will be gone from Ohio politics soon.

Posted by: jarod at January 27, 2009 12:38 AM (A23Gx)

138

131 129 Not so fast Al, I'll have to see your testicles first.

Posted by: Orin Hatch at January 26, 2009 11:47 PM (1g+FW)

 

Sure that wasn't Larry Craigs line

Posted by: Dan at January 27, 2009 12:38 AM (ygjiI)

139 I get Ambassador to Boy's Town!

Posted by: Michael Jackson at January 27, 2009 12:39 AM (ROpbq)

140 SecDef if you please...

Posted by: Ernest Blofeld at January 27, 2009 12:42 AM (ROpbq)

141 SecTrans baby...

Posted by: Zombie James Dean at January 27, 2009 12:58 AM (MKNSy)

142 #84, see you on the Free State Wyoming forum.


Posted by: SGT Dan at January 27, 2009 01:09 AM (MFBDm)

143 THIS JUST IN: Noted drug abuser berates those who use drugs. Oh shit, that's Rush Limbaugh.

Posted by: Brett at January 27, 2009 01:43 AM (JLK25)

144

What chance does America have when the President appoints a tax cheat as SecTreas and not only does the press not report aggessively on it, but the fucker actually gets confirmed? Does the law not mean shit to these people anymore? What happens when we are ruled by lawless men? I think with this Geithner whatever the fuck his name is episode, we have found out that Obama will get away with everything. The press will not hold him accountable, and the limp-dicked Republicans certainly won't- they are totally fucking useless.

Posted by: Jones in CO at January 27, 2009 02:33 AM (KOkrW)

145

FREE WESLEY SNIPES!

Awesome.

By the way, send your tea.

Posted by: SalvucciFumbles at January 27, 2009 02:45 AM (U6Br+)

146

Oh the irony.  I learn of this news just as I am taking a break from working on my taxes.  Blech.  Now I want to take every fakey deduction I can and dare them to audit me.

Posted by: chemjeff at January 27, 2009 03:17 AM (n36AU)

147 It really sucks being so behind the times. I mean, I still say slap my hand white soulman to my buddies. Now I find out I was a tax evader before tax evading was cool.

Posted by: Awnree at January 27, 2009 03:40 AM (eH8Cv)

148

the idiot roster, via HA...

Corker
Cornyn
Crapo
Ensign
Graham

Gregg
Hatch
Shelby
Snowe
Voinovich

 

I see my personal fuck-tard in that list. It makes me glad to know I voted against this SOB.

Posted by: Vic at January 27, 2009 07:12 AM (f6os6)

149 "The Republicans who voted for him did so, they say, because this guy was as non-lunatic-left as we could hope for."

This is so incredibly sad. Our country has been reduced to voting for whichever is the lesser of two very bad evils, no matter what we're voting for. Not only does it affect the presidential elections, but even those of the congress. Is there anyone ANYWHERE worth a shit out there to vote for???

Lord how I hate Lindsay Graham. I'll do everything I can to see that this limp wristed fuckwad get the boot in SC.

Posted by: Twinks at January 27, 2009 07:57 AM (KGbOi)

150

Spelling Rule #2009:  The letter I always comes before E, unless you are a corrupt, dishonest tax cheat.  Example Geithner. 

Posted by: scrood at January 27, 2009 08:09 AM (1dOyI)

151 Shelby is my idiot and I found out he is not taking any e-mail.  So he is not just an idiot but also a coward.

Posted by: shunha7878 at January 27, 2009 09:16 AM (/DeBx)

152 Cornyn and Hatch RUN the GOP SENATE Election Committee!

from the NRSC website:
01.22
Cornyn Selects Hatch To Serve As NRSC Vice Chairman
BEAUTIFUL - OUR RINO Leadership vote for TAX CHEAT- when NOT EVEN all Dems do!

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