Odious: Celebrities Who've Maligned America for Eight Years Suddenly Announce "We're All In This Together"

If you get sick of it, skip to the end, to see a cultish chant to "serve our president" from all of the various B- and C- and F- list celebrities on display.

Remember when they put out a similar video after 9/11? Nope, me neither.

Also at Big Hollywood: Dirk Benedict apparently outs himself as "that way" and accuses the new Battlestar Galactica of being pussifed and amoral.

Posted by: Ace at 06:52 PM

Comments

1 I pledge not to piss my pants laughing at the shallow promises that celebrities make in public that require no actual sacrifice

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 06:55 PM (miw86)

2
I wholeheartedly agree with Ace's sentiments.

Fuck you.

Fuck Obama and I hope he fails at every single thing he tries to do -- because none of it is good for America.

Posted by: Darling at January 19, 2009 06:57 PM (Gsf+S)

3 Fuck them in spades.

Posted by: Javems at January 19, 2009 06:57 PM (/IQA9)

4 I promise to be more helpful when Demi tries to teach me how to dress myself

Posted by: Ashton Kutcher at January 19, 2009 06:57 PM (miw86)

5 Celebrities. A notch above maggots.

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 06:57 PM (oRJZj)

6 But how do you really feel?

Posted by: RB at January 19, 2009 06:57 PM (ewXBY)

Dear celebrities,

Eat me.

Posted by: UGAdawg at January 19, 2009 06:58 PM (MDHAs)

8 Someday that video will be considered documentary evidence of American stupidity in 2009. I hope it happens soon enough for the participants to be embarrassed.

It was mainly moronic until the final moment when the imagery pulls out and everyone is a part of Barack Opresent's uber-cool portrait. Then it got seriously creepy.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 06:58 PM (fhJCy)

9 Amen to that.

By the way, if there are any jihadis doing recon on this site, Hollywood is very very important to us Americans. It's like Mecca and Medina all in one. We couldn't function without it.

Oh, and ignore the /sarc

Posted by: Methos at January 19, 2009 06:58 PM (u78my)

Not counting a 60-second non-speaking part in Bruce's last Die Hard movie, when was the last movie Demi was in? Has-been.

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 06:58 PM (oRJZj)

11 I promise to use environmentally friendly bullets when I bust a cap in you

Posted by: P Diddy at January 19, 2009 06:58 PM (miw86)

12 I promise to use less plastic in my boobs

Posted by: Demi Moore at January 19, 2009 06:59 PM (miw86)

if there are any jihadis doing recon on this site, Hollywood is very very important to us Americans. It's like Mecca and Medina all in one. We couldn't function without it.

Maybe they'll bomb Hollywood.

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 07:00 PM (oRJZj)

14 Once again, celebrities think they're good for something more than spending all their spare time working out and shopping and vomiting up words that someone else wrote.

Fuck 'em.

Posted by: AngelEm at January 19, 2009 07:00 PM (tbIup)

15
The sad part is our stupid Republicans are watching this and nodding their heads.

Fucking idiots.

Posted by: Darling at January 19, 2009 07:01 PM (Gsf+S)

16 Serve our president? F you celebs. He should be serving me! He is a "Public Servant".

Posted by: Scandi Dirt at January 19, 2009 07:01 PM (x47Ed)

17 I promise to use environmentally friendly botox

Posted by: Cameron Diaz at January 19, 2009 07:01 PM (miw86)

18 Directors I admire....Actors not so much.

Posted by: R. Ziskey at January 19, 2009 07:01 PM (LlaBi)

19 Who gives a fuck what these intellectually challenged bird brains in Hollywood say or think (other than themselves, of course?). Good lord, what the hell is so interesting about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutchner anywhere? He has a prettier face than most liberal women and is getting fucked by an aging, one time, has been. Collectively, their IQ is less than 100 and we are supposed to care what they think?

Posted by: IC at January 19, 2009 07:02 PM (jZNCU)

20 "Once again, celebrities think they're good for something more than spending all their spare time working out and shopping and vomiting up words that someone else wrote."

Hey, hey, be fair. Some of them are good for masturbation fantasies, too.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 07:02 PM (fhJCy)

21 I promise to give the same weight to celebrity babblings that I do to the rantings of bag ladies

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:03 PM (miw86)

22 @12
>>>I promise to use less plastic in my boobs
Posted by: Demi Moore at January 19, 2009 06:59 PM (miw86)<<<

Me too!

Posted by: Barak "Tits" Obama at January 19, 2009 07:03 PM (oEAm5)

23 I pledge, that when tempted to pitch-in and serve in my Obama-voting community, that I will instead masturbate.

I ain't pulling weeds from some park in some broke-down neighborhood unless BHO and Co. send some of that $875 billion my way.

Posted by: bunny boy at January 19, 2009 07:03 PM (YsSn7)

24

Fuck 'em. May they all be ass-raped by the Fox NFL robot for eternity for choosing their party and cliques over the lives and freedoms of millions.

I'll never forget the last eight years.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at January 19, 2009 07:03 PM (ZNbkm)

25 I pledge to only use half a square from now on.

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at January 19, 2009 07:04 PM (fhJCy)

26 This is sort of on-topic: Anyone else appalled that CBS had to talk with Katie Fucking Couric about the inauguration during the halftime show of the AFC championship yesterday? Obama was also the topic of an article in Sports Illustrated last week. Can I have some goddam peace, please, assholes? Can we at least have the NFL without the unseemly Obama fellating? God, I fully expect Obama to flip the coin at the Super Bowl, and then I'm going completely off the grid, moving to the North Pole, and dating Eskimos.

Posted by: UGAdawg at January 19, 2009 07:06 PM (MDHAs)

27 So Ashton Kutcher, who makes Keanu Reeves look like a quantum physics major, pledges to help end 21st century slavery in the world. Doesn't that like, you know, involve invading other countries? Dude!

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:07 PM (miw86)

28 I pledge to spit in their faces if I ever come across them in my travels

Posted by: trump at January 19, 2009 07:07 PM (hK2Ya)

29 Hey Important Celebs, want to help your Lord and Savior Obama? He's going to close this...um....resort in Cuba, and the very lovely people who live there are going to be completely homeless. Can you all be dears and house these poor, misunderstood liberals in your electronically protected fortresses? It's only fair you know, you have so much and they have so little. You owe to to Barack to make his plan work.

We'll be sending you a detainee....oops, I mean displaced Gitmo guest to your house soon. We expect you to care for him as if he was Barack.

Remember Important Celebrities, we're all in this together.

Posted by: shibumi at January 19, 2009 07:07 PM (tZB/c)

30 Hey! Stop giving ideas to the jihadis. We all know the country would cease to function without Hollywood.

Posted by: RB at January 19, 2009 07:07 PM (ewXBY)

we're all in this together, than give up your money to help "the rest of us"

More Pretender elect crap. Everyone has to do this ^{_{except for us celebs, Dear Leader and Dems}}

Posted by: Dumb and dumber at January 19, 2009 07:08 PM (hphNR)

Ace,

Somehow I don't think you are getting enough of "The Hope and Change". Have you checked your Valu Rite supply? Ammo supply? Hobo night scope, opps no more hobos after noon, so go tonight.

Go ahead, break the fucking TV now so you will not have to watch The One all fucking day, and you are right, fuck all the NEW patriots.

Notice the Joos got out of Gaza today? Wonder why??

It's Hope and Change a coming!!

Let's "Hope" it snows all fucking night and gets to about zero! Maybe will get a new rap dance, the jiggle your frozen ass in front of the full porta john dance!

Have fun peoples.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at January 19, 2009 07:08 PM (2+9Yx)

33 Well, to be fair, they really couldn't support the country with Hitler in charge. I mean, conservatives are alway evil, right? Everyone they talk to knows that. </sarc>

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at January 19, 2009 07:08 PM (ltwze)

34
Dirk Benedict?

Faceman from the awesome A-Team?

FUCK YEAH!!!

Posted by: Darling at January 19, 2009 07:08 PM (Gsf+S)

35 I pledge to end world hunger and poverty with YOUR money and congratulate myself for my contributions to mankind without having to dip into my coke money.

Posted by: Hollywood Celebrities at January 19, 2009 07:09 PM (miw86)

36 Adolf was able to get the celebs of his time to fall in line (those that didn't "mysteriously" disappear). Megalomaniac version 2.0 is able to do the same. Unfortuantly no one gives a shit what these clowns think-at least no one that isn't already completely brainwashed to begin with

Posted by: Dumb and dumber at January 19, 2009 07:10 PM (hphNR)

37
They're going to sacrifice.

But first...

they're going to throw an extravagant and decadent $170MM party!

Posted by: Darling at January 19, 2009 07:11 PM (Gsf+S)

38
What's the "carbon footprint" of all those shitheads traveling to D.C. for the Immaculation^�?

Posted by: Darling at January 19, 2009 07:12 PM (Gsf+S)

39 I promise to think of poor people the world over while I'm beating back my fellow celebrities at the swag tables in my 10,000 dollar gown at the Oscars

Posted by: Marisa Tomei at January 19, 2009 07:13 PM (miw86)

40 What the hell was stopping any of these yahoos from doing these things while Bush was president?

Were they waiting all this time to be charitable?

And since I'm asking questions, if I wished, hypothetically, to set a celebrity's face ablaze, what kind of accelerant would be best suited for this task?

Posted by: Warden at January 19, 2009 07:13 PM (QoR4a)

41 Oh hell. I just paid off a debt and I was looking forward to having more moovy money. Well, gum surgery it is then.

Posted by: arhooley at January 19, 2009 07:13 PM (zzTpR)

42 When are any of these celebrities going to start paying higher taxes and how much? Show us your 1040's or STFU.

Posted by: liontooth at January 19, 2009 07:13 PM (n3pxb)

43 "We're all in this together!".

As long as the "this" is what they want, they expect "us" to go along, notwithstanding 8 years of evidence that they would not be "going along" had the election gone a different way.

Posted by: Reine at January 19, 2009 07:14 PM (0V+eT)

44 Those tools need some serious resharpening. FUCK YOU.
_{I hope Washington burns tomorrow}

Posted by: sickinmass at January 19, 2009 07:14 PM (/i4dU)

45 ha ha! One of those dingbats just promised to bring awareness to mental health disorders. Mission accomplished!

Posted by: Warden at January 19, 2009 07:15 PM (QoR4a)

46 I promise to use organic trash bags on my private jet from Sundance to Washington to New York to Los Angeles.

Posted by: Cameron Diaz at January 19, 2009 07:15 PM (miw86)

47 I was twelve pages in before I realized I wasn't reading Tiger Beat, but Time. What band is this "Obramah" with? Can you dance to it? He sure is dreamy.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 19, 2009 07:16 PM (FCbvi)

48 I promise to quit chiseling on my expense reports at work.

Posted by: Tim Geithner at January 19, 2009 07:16 PM (dr1s2)

49 if famous actors are going to sacrifice I will require proof that they actually did so. No half measures either.

Posted by: Deathknyte at January 19, 2009 07:17 PM (lRFlR)

50 I don't know about you guys, but I am not watching the TV tomorrow, or the radio and the only website I'm planning to visit is AoSHQ..so Ace, please no waxing about the great Messiah tomorrow...

Posted by: IC at January 19, 2009 07:17 PM (jZNCU)

51 I pledge to only crap on recycled American flags.

Posted by: Bill Ayers at January 19, 2009 07:18 PM (fhJCy)

52 Ashton Kutcher is the biggest fucking douchebucket EVAR. Banging Demi Moore is about his only redeeming feature.

Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at January 19, 2009 07:18 PM (Yf3BU)

53 I promise to learn the difference between which hole Demi poops out of and which one I put my wee-wee into

Posted by: Ashton Kutcher at January 19, 2009 07:18 PM (miw86)

54 I pledge to only roost America's organic chickens.

Posted by: Jeremiah Wright at January 19, 2009 07:19 PM (fhJCy)

55 Is that a personal loyalty oath to their Fuhrer messiah?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 07:19 PM (HPH1q)

56 I pledge to use only free-range gerbils.

Posted by: Richard Geer at January 19, 2009 07:19 PM (oEAm5)

57 IC: Me x2.

Hey celebrities and your situational patriotism? Go fuck yourselves. No, really. I'll wait. You're back? How was it? Really?

Now go fuck yourselves again.

Ta!

Posted by: Harry Callahan at January 19, 2009 07:21 PM (GSuFl)

58 Who the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?

Posted by: Unclefacts at January 19, 2009 07:21 PM (M+Vfm)

59 I pledge to not punch people in the face because they equate Bush to Hitler. I also pledge to give the following demotivator to all my liberal friends: http://tinyurl.com/bpaob. I'd pledge to not gloat when the unicorns don't magically appear, but yeah, that's not going to happen.

Posted by: Stacy at January 19, 2009 07:21 PM (GKSDi)

60 Why is it that we're in this together only when liberals are in charge? Why can't I support Obama the same way he did Bush? "Don't be bamboozled. Don't buy into it."

Posted by: JohnJ at January 19, 2009 07:21 PM (roIwu)

61 Went from Bush-Hitler to can't we all just get along. Nope, looks like Osama-Obama to me.

Posted by: tarpon at January 19, 2009 07:23 PM (7evkT)

Oh, the inanity!

Posted by: meanderthal at January 19, 2009 07:23 PM (GzZVw)

63 Fuck every last one of those two-faced Hollywood shitbirds and their fake bipartisanship. Rally behind your Marxist hero? Fuck you. FUCK YOU!!

And kiss my bittorrent-flavored ass too. Not one thin dime for you, Hollywood fuckkuckles.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 19, 2009 07:23 PM (uNh3q)

64 "Who the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?"

He's the imbecile who takes Bruce Willis's sloppy seconds while Bruce Willis laughs and laughs.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 07:24 PM (fhJCy)

65 58 Who the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?

He's the dork who played the pretty boy idiot Kelso on That 70s Show. He's married now to Demi Moore, and the two of them together don't have an IQ equal to Demi's bust measurement

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:24 PM (miw86)

66 Hollywood, and the whole country, is about to "get punked" by this asshole they elected.

Posted by: hutch1200 at January 19, 2009 07:26 PM (MJrRs)

67 Kutcher can't back out of his own driveway without asking for directions

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:26 PM (miw86)

68 You know, I appreciate Dirk Benedict outing himself over at Big Hollywood, but there's no escaping the fact that the new Battlestar Galactica is a much better series than the original, in spite of its Lefty overtones.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 07:26 PM (fhJCy)

After the last 8 years of their crap? They can lick my sweaty balls. I'm going full on ODS baby and there is no stopping me.

Posted by: Bosk at January 19, 2009 07:26 PM (fazYB)

70 I got through .01 seconds of the video. Sorry, couldn't do it. Read the Breitbart piece, though. Good for him. I think Big Hollywood is going to be a huge success,

Posted by: Nice Deb at January 19, 2009 07:26 PM (9oaPG)

45 ha ha! One of those dingbats just promised to bring awareness to mental health disorders. Mission accomplished!

HA HA. Great line Warden

Posted by: Lou at January 19, 2009 07:27 PM (RNwpX)

72 Who the Hell is Dirk Benedict?

Posted by: The Obvious at January 19, 2009 07:28 PM (1g+FW)

And since I'm asking questions, if I wished, hypothetically, to set a celebrity's face ablaze, what kind of accelerant would be best suited for this task?

Hypothetically: acetone or ether

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:28 PM (5GNS+)

74 I'd like to serve these fucking celebutards Tyler Durden's soup du jour; know what I mean?

Posted by: mossback at January 19, 2009 07:28 PM (in8Vs)

75 I was also disgusted by Couric at halftime. Then My SI, Then a full blown feature in Golf Digest. its inescapable. My Iggles Lost, and then its uuhbama time, kill me.

Posted by: Ben B. at January 19, 2009 07:29 PM (rs7M9)

76 Ashton Kutcher played the clueless dumbfuck in "That 70s Show" and was so good at being witless that he then went on to star in that soon-to-be-on PBS Masterpiece Theater "Dude, Where's My Car".

I pledge to not see any of these pre-Obastard America-hating douchetools' movies ever again. Fuck them to death.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 19, 2009 07:30 PM (ZW5eD)

77 That Dirk Benedict rant was pretty pathetic. Even worse were some of the people who agreed with him, believing the original 70s show was anything other than painful when you took away the SFX. I can remember watching that show when I was a mere 12 years old and feeling insulted. If I'd had a DVR back then I would have skipped through most of the story and just watched the model work.

Nobody on the old show ever appeared more than mildly annoyed at the human race's predictament. 99.99% of our species has been wiped from existence but we're a pretty happy go lucky bunch here on the Battlestar Ponderosa. The new series is depressing? Gosh, wonder why that is?

Dirk, it's too bad the Suits gave you so much shit for trying to do an interesting character but a free rein would hardly have elevated that show to anything remotely like the level of engagement generated by the new series. Lets face it, if it had a different title and different internal nomenclature, you'd have nothing to complain about. This is about your embitterment, not the current series called Battlestar Galactica. Do you feel angry at Richard Hatch for receiving a recurring role on the new show?

Posted by: epobirs at January 19, 2009 07:30 PM (sWqMg)

78 27 So Ashton Kutcher, who makes Keanu Reeves look like a quantum physics major, pledges to help end 21st century slavery in the world. Doesn't that like, you know, involve invading other countries?

No, dude, check it out. We're going to set up a fake slave auction, and then when the people come to try and buy slaves, I'll come out and be like "dude, I'm not a slave, it's me Ashton Kutcher, you got punk'd!", and then they'll be all like "dude, no way", and I'll be like "dude!" and they'll be like "dude!" and then there'll be no more slavery and that'll totally rock.

Posted by: Ashton Kutcher at January 19, 2009 07:32 PM (saRwI)

79 I pledge to consider celebrities three-fifths of a person.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 19, 2009 07:32 PM (FCbvi)

80 In my new favorite phrase, fuck that sideways with a chainsaw.

I stick with Twain on this - patriotism is loving your country all the time and your politicians when they deserve it.

Posted by: alexthechick at January 19, 2009 07:33 PM (GY1/+)

Who the Hell is Dirk Benedict?

The original (cigar smoking) Captain Starbuck! The only reason I watched the original Battlestar Galactica!

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 07:33 PM (oRJZj)

82 Dear Hollywood celebs,

I hereby promise to dump all my plastic shopping bags and spent batteries directly into my trash bin, as well as discontinuing recycling all plastic and metal. I will now promise to dump my used motor oil, engine coolant, and paint into the nearest storm drain and drive my SUV more now that gas is $1.70/gallon.

In short, I will do everything I can to counter your fucking Obama-masturbation fantasies.

Posted by: EC at January 19, 2009 07:34 PM (iWj1i)

Has anyone heard those stupid fucking bits on the radio proclaiming that 2009 will be the "year of love"?

I am proclaiming that 2009 will be the year of "FUCK YOU"

Because, Fuck Them!

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:35 PM (5GNS+)

84 Dirk Benedict was also a member of the A-Team, along with George Peppard and Mr. T. He had a pretty good though modest career.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 07:35 PM (iafWn)

@waterhouse

>>kiss my bittorrent-flavored ass too. Not one thin dime for you, Hollywood fuckkuckles.

Whoa, thanks for reminding me! I used to feel guilty about that, but I think I'm over it now. Praise Jesus.

Posted by: arhooley at January 19, 2009 07:36 PM (zzTpR)

86 I promise to save toilet paper by wiping my ass with Ashton Kucher's face.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:37 PM (5GNS+)

#78

I don't generally LOL, but this time I did. Dude.

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 07:37 PM (MGs0J)

88 Celebrities are now telling us that we're all Americans and we've got to all pull together to be successful.

Celebrities... isn't there anything they DON'T know!

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:38 PM (miw86)

89 Its a cookbook!

Posted by: toby928 at January 19, 2009 07:38 PM (PD1tk)

90 58 Who the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?

Posted by: Unclefacts at January 19, 2009 07:21 PM (M+Vfm)

He's the insufferable little fucktard who makes That Seventies Show unwatchable. srsly, it would probably be pretty good if he wasn't in it.

Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at January 19, 2009 07:38 PM (Yf3BU)

It's 1992 all over again. Welcome back to a world where celebrities prance about front and center.

What amazes me about all of this nonsense is how unhinged these people have become during George Bush's eight year tenure. W. is so "evil" that they've lost all sense of self-awareness. They've literally no idea, if they ever had one, about how fucking insane they look. The same with the media. They went so far over the cliff that not only did they throw away the central tenet of their profession, objectivity, in order to elevate a democrat to the highest office of the land, but they did it openly and without any worry about consequences whatsoever. It's astonishing that there seems to be NO ONE behind the scenes saying, "Hey, let's throttle back on the cheerleading." Where's the fucking restraint? Gone with the wind, gone because George Bush was and is so absolutely fucking evil that the democrats and the media had to start the presidential race earlier than at any other time in our nation's history because, well, WE GOTTA GET RID OF THAT EVIL MOTHERFUCKER IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

Posted by: jaleach at January 19, 2009 07:39 PM (gHrZU)

92 Anthony pass that needle over here man, let's share and unite some smack with our inner veins. Hey let's get fucked up on smack and write a tune about smack and unity.

Posted by: FLEA at January 19, 2009 07:39 PM (qB1yC)

93 Who the Hell is Dirk Benedict? Who the Hell is Dirk Benedict?

He was also face man from A-Team.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 07:40 PM (ul7te)

94 I pledge to stop using plastic cups to spit Ashton's splooge into.

Posted by: Demi Moore at January 19, 2009 07:40 PM (miw86)

Dirk Benedict was also a member of the A-Team, along with George Peppard and Mr. T. He had a pretty good though modest career.

But everybody knows his name and face. Pretty good for a modest career.

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 07:40 PM (oRJZj)

96 Not one mutha fucka pledging to pick up a weapon and stand a post.

Posted by: Col Nathan R Jessup at January 19, 2009 07:40 PM (c8STA)

97 RE 40 and 73.

No acetone and ether evaporate too fast. Use biodiesel.

Posted by: John Galt at January 19, 2009 07:42 PM (Ylv1H)

98 That's a reprint from Benedict. What do you mean by "that way"?

I know a lot of people like the new show, but it's shit.
It's a fucking soap opera in space. It's about as scifi as Oprah with gratuitous sex.
The first show was no Star Wars but the new one isn't even that much.

Posted by: Rocks at January 19, 2009 07:42 PM (3RHzM)

99 I fully endorse hollywoods support for my dear friend barry.

Posted by: j.macain at January 19, 2009 07:42 PM (GVyju)

100 I promise to use earth friendly putty to fill in the cracks in my face

Posted by: Cameron Diaz at January 19, 2009 07:43 PM (miw86)

101

Who the Hell is Dirk Benedict?

Wasn't he a member of the A-Team? You know, that pathetic piece of shit show that was about as substantial as a popcorn fart? I remember being in eighth grade when that show was at its height, and my friends and I constantly made fun of the fact that no one fucking died in any episode. A car goes over a cliff and explodes like a nuclear bomb? Not to worry. The show made a point of showing the bad guys getting out of the wreckage and shaking their injuries off. Literally, they'd shake their heads in a "wtf happened?" manner and go about their business. We called bullshit.

Posted by: jaleach at January 19, 2009 07:43 PM (gHrZU)

102 Hey P. Duddy, Ashton, Demi, Marisa, Nicole (how the hell are you a celebrity) Richie - Fuck you. I've put up with your shit since 2000 when Bush "stole" the election. You acted like assholes from day one and cared nothing about "uniting" the nation. You constantly said that he wasn't your President. You spent 8 years not respecting the office, not helping us unite against those that hate us. I refuse to say I am sorry when I say that while I, unlike you Hollywood jerks, do respect the office, I do not respect the man. He will be my President, but you spent 8 years teaching me that dissent is patriotic. I will be dissenting loudly and often.

I am not going to dump my values and principles just because you tell me I need to be part of the solution. I was part of the solution for the last 8 years. Hell, the last 16 years. I never voted for Bill Clinton, but I never once said "he's not my President". I, unlike many of you and others who voted for Obama, have voted in every election since I turned 18. I do not need to be "inspired" by someone to vote. I understand it is my RESPONSIBILITY to vote - not just vote when some celebrity candidate inspires me.

Hell yeah I pledge to dissent and no, 48 does not love 52. And oh yeah, fuck you.

Posted by: kat at January 19, 2009 07:43 PM (S7Xpi)

103 I pledge to use environmentally friendly condoms when I bang Angie after lecturing the world on having too many kids and overpopulating the planet

Posted by: Brad Pitt at January 19, 2009 07:45 PM (miw86)

104 Matt Damon!

Posted by: Matt Damon at January 19, 2009 07:45 PM (5DhtJ)

105 This is about your embitterment, not the current series called Battlestar Galactica.

Benedict was giving out the same sour grapes when BSG first started with Starbuck as a chick. Same old, same old.

And yeah, take away the cool effects (despite endlessly recycling the same four or five miniature shots), and the original BSG blew. Furry robot dogs?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 07:46 PM (InMdt)

106 Cocksuckers!!

Posted by: Mr Wu at January 19, 2009 07:46 PM (PD1tk)

107 Gosh, katya, I was trying to be subtle.

Oh and the original BSG will never die-it's on MeTV every weekend.

Posted by: Methos at January 19, 2009 07:47 PM (u78my)

108 Frodo?

Posted by: Locus Ceruleus at January 19, 2009 07:47 PM (e2mBS)

109 I promise not to go to anymore movies, and cancel my Cable - and use the money for charity. Hows that!

Posted by: Lily at January 19, 2009 07:47 PM (gIQ7K)

110

They went so far over the cliff that not only did they throw away the central tenet of their profession, objectivity, in order to elevate a democrat to the highest office of the land, but they did it openly and without any worry about consequences whatsoever.

Our mission is to make them highly aware of the consequences. I can't watch movies anymore; not because I have decided to boycott them but because I find these people repulsive.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:48 PM (5GNS+)

111 Great post, Ace! I can't watch the video, though, I don't want to be all barfed out before tomorrow.

Posted by: CB at January 19, 2009 07:48 PM (9Wv2j)

112 While it sounds like pissing and moaning, Benedict has a point. Everyone associated with Battlestar Galactica, in the 70's was furious at the exec's. The Exec-producer and creator (in the THS I saw years ago) could barely contain his hatred at the exec's for the way they treated the show, despite amazing ratings.

Cutting the budget, then coming in and micro-managing the budget. Deliberating denying run-on plot theme's cuz they put the show under a sword of damacle's per episode, the use of stock footage for the fights (ever notice that the vipers always shot twice while banking into target? or the prolonged scenes of close-ups with the single cylon pilot, who always had to adjust the same instrument, shit like that) The inclusion of stupid pop-culture shit, like the one where apollo and starbuck played that stupid game in tights and bandolere's that looked a lot like rollerball without skates? To make the show more topical week to week.

And then the fights with the exec's after cancellation about rights, and who had what rights and all that shit.

Though it does still read like a whiny c lister saying He could have been a STAR if only he wasn't hindered by the bigwigs.

That is one THS jam packed with bitterness.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 07:48 PM (ul7te)

113 I pledge to flush the toilet once a month instead of once a week

Posted by: Leonardo DiCaprio at January 19, 2009 07:49 PM (miw86)

114

No acetone and ether evaporate too fast. Use biodiesel.

That's why they are so volitile!

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:50 PM (5GNS+)

115 I will only watch 10+ year old shows on TVLand that I have taped and can skip past the commercials. Shows like "All in the Family" and perhaps even "Sanford and Son" for diversity. If any of these modern day "celebrities" have shows that make it to TVLand in 10 years I might try to learn their names, but they will probably already be dead from drug and botox ODs.

Posted by: NortonPete at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (fVuwW)

116 I promise to "Think Green" when I'm looking to get laid

Posted by: William Shatner at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (miw86)

117 What do I mean by "that way"? Conservative.

Posted by: ace at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (gEsIJ)

118 Hey Marissa--Faahhck yooo

Posted by: Joe Pesci at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (qB1yC)

119

Ya know, on my deathbed, I'm going to be laying there smiling.

And all my loved ones are going to be gathered around me.

And after a while, one of them, probably my nephew, whom I well on the way to molding in my own image, will ask me, "Uncle Jim, you're fucking dying. Why are you so fucking happy?"

I'll take his hand in mine, and I'll be able to say to him, AJ, I'm happy because I was able to live my entire life not knowing who the fuck Ashton Kutcher is.

Posted by: Unclefacts at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (M+Vfm)

120 #97
Too low a flash point on biodiesel. I suggest red phosphorus or a thermite compound, mixed into facial creme. Sort of an ultra-chemical peel.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (FCbvi)

121

Remember when they put out a similar video after 9/11?

Not sure if this counts but there was some sort of 9/11 concert for firefighters or something where Richard Gere made comments about needing to understanding each other before he was escorted off stage for fear of being kicked in his environmentally sensitive gerbil habitat area.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at January 19, 2009 07:52 PM (C2//T)

122

I promise not to go to anymore movies, and cancel my Cable - and use the money for charity whatever the fuck I want. Hows that!

There, that's better

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 07:53 PM (5GNS+)

123 "We're All In This Together"

reminds me of the old joke about the Lone Ranger and Tonto that ends:

Who's "we," whiteman????

Now it is: Who's "we," liberal?

What will they do when their Hamas bretheren turn to them and say...Who's "we," infidel?

Posted by: notme at January 19, 2009 07:54 PM (ydIuJ)

124 I promise to work to end world hunger while I'm wolfing down chili cheese fries, a triple fudge sundae, and a double bacon guacamole cheeseburger

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at January 19, 2009 07:54 PM (miw86)

125 Oops, I meant too high a flash point. That's why I never became a chemist.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 19, 2009 07:55 PM (FCbvi)

126

Small Dead Animals? Not to sully Pres. Regan's "speak no ill of Republicans" but wtf? I had not heard of the blog and am always glad to get a new source. I've been reading it now for a week but don't get the alure.

Anyone?

Posted by: PETA at January 19, 2009 07:56 PM (Tp7c0)

127 I love the idiot who pledges to use "less" bottled water. It's so important, but she can't just go ahead and give it up entirely? Bullshit!

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 07:56 PM (fhJCy)

128 He's the imbecile who takes Bruce Willis's sloppy seconds while Bruce Willis laughs and laughs.

And you wouldn't? Granted, she's a little long in the tooth, but what the hell, so am I. Remember her in Striptease? Yum.

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 07:57 PM (fWF4Q)

129 The sad fact is the average American adores celebrity. American Idol is just an example. We need a paradigm shift. Honor and integrity need to be valued more than beauty and humor.

48% need to stop going to movies where these people have sway. We also need to support the fledgling conservative films, even when they suck.

Posted by: Locus Ceruleus at January 19, 2009 07:57 PM (e2mBS)

130 Not sure if this counts but there was some sort of 9/11 concert for firefighters or something where Richard Gere made comments about needing to understanding each other before he was escorted off stage for fear of being kicked in his environmentally sensitive gerbil habitat area.

He was verbally splooging his Zen Buddist crap about how we've all got to channel our anger and turn it to love. When the audience booed him, he looked like one of the gerbils had just bit his balls. He started mumbling about "I understand that's not popular right now, and that's ok too". Celebrities who live in their own fantasy world just can't comprehend that the real world doesn't think like they do.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:59 PM (miw86)

131 Who cares about these fudge packing celebutards?

Posted by: mossback at January 19, 2009 07:59 PM (in8Vs)

132 PETA

with you on that one. I think it was libs crossing over to vote against this bastion of ingrates.

Posted by: Locus Ceruleus at January 19, 2009 07:59 PM (e2mBS)

133 I wish there was a list of all the celebrity idiots so I could avoid buying anything they're involved with.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 19, 2009 08:00 PM (fnoZ9)

134 I pledge to have only organic children out of wedlock.

Posted by: Sean "Puff Douchey" Combs at January 19, 2009 08:00 PM (fhJCy)

135 Anthony Kiedis pledged to service Barack Obama. How nice of him. I wish all of the celebritards would pledge to commit suicide.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 08:01 PM (HPH1q)

136 fuck fuck fucking fuckers.

Ok, now I can read the thread.

Posted by: Carin at January 19, 2009 08:01 PM (4cWxS)

137 So let me get this straight:

The Hollyweird Obamatrons want US to serve the President?

Gee, now that's funny! I thought the President was supposed to SERVE US!???

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 08:02 PM (iafWn)

138 128

Demi Moore's best acting was in an episode of Tales from the Crypt ("Dead Right") where she married a portly gentleman at the advice of a psychic, who told her that he would inherit a lot of money from a loved one and then die violently.

/True to TftC style, he did inherit the money, but not in a way that helped Moore's character...*evil laugh*.

Posted by: mitthrawnurdo at January 19, 2009 08:02 PM (otlXg)

139 "And you wouldn't? Granted, she's a little long in the tooth, but what the hell, so am I. Remember her in Striptease? Yum."

Yeah, I would, but I'm nobody. If I were a celebrity with access to better women, I wouldn't.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 08:03 PM (fhJCy)

140 Fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

I haven't been to a movie since 300 and that was the first I'd been to in about 5 years. I don't expect my habits to change much after the one ascends. These fucktard celebs have got me so pissed off lately I implemented a near total boycott of Hollywood product for the past 5 years, and encourage others to do the same.

They're entitled to their opinion, but they're NOT entitled to my patronage. I'm doing everything in my power to see that they're unemployed or have to take honest work.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 19, 2009 08:03 PM (Z0HFQ)

141 Hey, if these celebrities were so PATRIOTIC, they would immediately pay ALL of the taxes they owe and not use ANY deductions, business expenses, offshore accounting etc. In fact, I double, dog dare them too! C'mon Hollywood, put your money where your mouth is!!

Posted by: CDR M at January 19, 2009 08:03 PM (TJoU6)

142 119

Unclefacts, you are such a treasure!

Posted by: CB at January 19, 2009 08:03 PM (9Wv2j)

143 Fuck you

Couldn't have said it better myself

Posted by: brak at January 19, 2009 08:03 PM (V8owZ)

144 Dirk, it's too bad the Suits gave you so much shit for trying to do an interesting character but a free rein would hardly have elevated that show to anything remotely like the level of engagement generated by the new series.

Yeah, boo f'n hoo. The devil-may-car womanizing character Benedict says he was trying to make Starbuck had already been done before, and by a better actor, namely, Harrison Ford as Han Solo. Which makes Benedict a copy-cat.

Someone in the comments claims that Benedict's little tirade was first published in 2004, which makes him eligible for a "sour-grapes actor who's bitter because he didn't get a job in the new series" award.

And face it, the old series sucked donkey dicks. Even by 1978 standards it was a lousy show. It tried to cash in on the success of Star Wars, and it looks hilariously crappy today.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 19, 2009 08:05 PM (XUV9W)

145 #16 He should be serving me! He is a "Public Servant".

Exactly. That's what makes Michelle Obama's "Barack expects you to work!" line so retarded. Worry less about what I'm doing, you fascist pukes. Worry about what you're doing. Never forget that you're there to serve the public. Losing sight of that essential point makes all this masturbatory Coronation bullshit that much more disgusting and, frankly, completely insane.

Posted by: Waterhouse at January 19, 2009 08:06 PM (uNh3q)

146 I pledge to LOL when George Clooney gets anal herpes and has to wear adult diapers the rest of his life.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 19, 2009 08:06 PM (CiVat)

147 Wait ... does this mean they plan on flying our flag on national holidays now?

Nimrods.

Posted by: incognito at January 19, 2009 08:07 PM (4QyyU)

148 130Not sure if this counts but there was some sort of 9/11 concert for firefighters or something where Richard Gere made comments about needing to understanding each other before he was escorted off stage for fear of being kicked in his environmentally sensitive gerbil habitat area.

He was verbally splooging his Zen Buddist crap about how we've all got to channel our anger and turn it to love. When the audience booed him, he looked like one of the gerbils had just bit his balls. He started mumbling about "I understand that's not popular right now, and that's ok too". Celebrities who live in their own fantasy world just can't comprehend that the real world doesn't think like they do.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 07:59 PM (miw86)

Richard Queer's head must be ready to explode on this news: Dalai Lama stuns audience, admits "I love George W. Bush", "Terrorism can't be dealt with through non-violence"

Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at January 19, 2009 08:07 PM (Yf3BU)

149 None of them pledged to stop being narcissistic assholes and stop making shitty movies and tv shows. If they want to "save the world" why don't the self-absorbed twats give away everything they own to the poor and become modern St. Francises? Because that would involving doing something more than patting themselves on the back while talking into a camera.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 08:08 PM (HPH1q)

150 --Not sure if this counts but there was some sort of 9/11 concert for firefighters or something where Richard Gere made comments...

Two memorable moments from that concert, Adam Sandler's "Guiliani" and a poignant moment when an enraged firefighter called out al Qaida and gave his home address, challenging anyone who dared to come to his house and fight it out. I identified with that man.

Posted by: NortonPete at January 19, 2009 08:08 PM (fVuwW)

151 Heh, heh... they won't allow comments at that site with the video. I tried to watch, I REALLY did... I got as far as The Thug saying, "Let us summon a new spirit... " At that point, it was either puke all over my keyboard and close out the screen. Wisely, I chose the latter course...

Too bad about no comments. But perhaps if we all close our eyes, we can send The One's supporters a psychic message with our collective spiritual force:

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK YOU, THUGS!!!!!

Don't know if that worked... but I somehow feel better.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 08:10 PM (iafWn)

152 Not sure if this counts but there was some sort of 9/11 concert for firefighters or something where Richard Gere made comments about needing to understanding each other before he was escorted off stage for fear of being kicked in his environmentally sensitive gerbil habitat area.

That was the Yankee Stadium concert, IIRC. Not long after Gere, a big 'ole Irish cop (or was he a firefighter?) was on stage talking about his buddies that died. His speech ended with "and the people who did this can KISS MY BLACK IRISH ASS!!!!"

The roar of the crowd was fucking awesome.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 08:10 PM (InMdt)

153 I pledge to compost all my future abortions.

Posted by: Nicole Richie at January 19, 2009 08:11 PM (fhJCy)

154 I promise to only flush after a "duece", never after a "single" - Jason Bateman

How classy. Between this assclown and Sheryl "One Square" Crowe, they're even telling us how to take a dump. Thanks, celebutards- couldn't move my bowels without you.

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:12 PM (fWF4Q)

155 It tried to cash in on the success of Star Wars, and it looks hilariously crappy today.

The creator guy, wrote . . . I think it was called "Adams quest" or "Adams journey" In like '69 and contacted other writers to find a way of making it into something.

It was the Exec's who tried to cash in on Star Wars, it was the creator who created something 9 years earlier, and only now got attention thanks to Lucas essentially bankrupting zootrope.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 08:13 PM (ul7te)

156 These fucks do so much work in Canada to avoid taxes? Fuck them.

Posted by: shim at January 19, 2009 08:13 PM (qB1yC)

157 I promise to only buy Fair Trade shade grown cocaine

Posted by: Lindsey Lohan at January 19, 2009 08:16 PM (4gHqM)

158 I promise to only flush after a "duece", never after a "single" - Jason Bateman

That's great Jason, nice to know that splash hitting your fanny must have some freaking PISS in it, ain't it? So let me get this straight: you flush AFTER a deuce, but WITH a douche... is that how it works?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 08:17 PM (iafWn)

159 Does "The Audacity of Hope" constitute a New New Testament?

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 08:19 PM (fhJCy)

160 It's also retarded CoolCzech. We are a water rich nation, the only limit to our fresh potable water generation is our power generation. . . . Oh, thats what he means. Now I get it.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 08:19 PM (ul7te)

161 Hell, all of us who grew up on farms with marginal septic systems knew the old "If it's brown, flush it down; if it's yellow, let it mellow" rule. But now I have city sewer, so I don't need to do that anymore. It's called "progress."

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 08:19 PM (MGs0J)

162 I promise to shave all my body hair and make blankets for the freezing children of the world

Posted by: Madonna at January 19, 2009 08:19 PM (4gHqM)

163

This really takes me back to the days after Bush won his first term and the country was coming together in the spirit of unity and patriotism and celebrities were putting out videos supporting Bush.

Well, accept for the 50% of the country who voted for Gore and still insist to this day that Bush stole the election by suppressing minority votes and using the SC. And of course accept for the members of the Clinton WH who demonstrated their class and unity by destroying government property by tearing the W's off the keyboards of the computers in the White House and creating a terrible WH transition. And the members of the msm who treated Bush with contempt from the day he was elected until today insisting that not only was he incompetent but possibly criminally corrupt and who spent at least half of the inaguration day morning the fact that Clinton was leaving instead of celebrating Bush taking office. And of course accept that no celebrities either put out any videos in praise of Bush or his call for unity or had anything positive to say out America from the day Bush was elected until the messiah was elected.

Yea, accept for that stuff this is identical to then.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 19, 2009 08:20 PM (c4ffw)

164 I pledge to flush at least three times, and every time I so much as walk past my bathroom.

Just because.

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 08:21 PM (fhJCy)

165 Who the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?

He was Piper Perabo's imbecilic boyfriend in the remake of "Cheaper by the Dozen." (Probably got the role because he was the only male the studio could find who didn't get a woody while filming a scene with Ms. Perabo.)

Posted by: Reiver at January 19, 2009 08:23 PM (HFT94)

166 162: Ewww. A Madonna Pube blanket?

If it was the 1800's, we could give it to an Indian tribe to spread crabs.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 08:24 PM (iafWn)

167 His speech ended with "and the people who did this can KISS MY BLACK IRISH ASS!!!!"

His name is Mike Moran he's a firefighter at Madison Square Garden. He lost his brother in the World Trade Center.

"In the spirit of the Irish people: Osama bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass!"

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 08:24 PM (HPH1q)

168 I promise to only flush after a "duece", never after a "single" - Jason Bateman

You know, since Jason's so concerned about my wasteful bathroom habits, maybe I'll box it up and mail it to him. He can dispose of it in the appropriate, eco-friendly manner.

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:25 PM (fWF4Q)

169 Is it possible that Jason Bateman was doing some stealth sabotage to this thing?

Is it possible? I'd really like to think so. He couldn't really have chosen to participate by promoting not flushing the toilet, could he?

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 08:27 PM (fhJCy)

170 "In the spirit of the Irish people: Osama bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass!"

And it still gives me chills, just thinking about it. We've lost the spirit of those post 9/11 days, and we'd better wise up..

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:28 PM (fWF4Q)

171 "And it still gives me chills, just thinking about it. We've lost the spirit of those post 9/11 days, and we'd better wise up.."

Let's be honest, seven years later that guy probably voted for Obama and thinks 9/11 was an inside job...

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 08:30 PM (fhJCy)

172 I thought invoking 911 was jingoistic.

Doctor of political science maddow told me.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 08:33 PM (ul7te)

173 Couldn't hack the video. Had problems keeping my supper down.
So did any of these glory hounds pledge to send care packages to our troops?

Posted by: Warm Mountain at January 19, 2009 08:34 PM (eJmkn)

174 You know, since Jason's so concerned about my wasteful bathroom habits, maybe I'll box it up and mail it to him. He can dispose of it in the appropriate, eco-friendly manner.

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:25 PM (fWF4Q)

threadwinnar

Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at January 19, 2009 08:35 PM (Yf3BU)

175 I'm hoping Bateman inserted the only humor ("flush after a deuce") in this thing because he saw it as the earnestly juvenile crap it is. I hope.

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at January 19, 2009 08:36 PM (uOvAE)

176 Couldn't hack the video. Had problems keeping my supper down.
So did any of these glory hounds pledge to send care packages to our troops?

Yeah, a box of "duece". After all, the troops are in the world's biggest litter box - Jason Batenan

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:36 PM (fWF4Q)

177 @172: Pat Maddow said that?

Have we figured out if Pat is a... well, you know?? Does it stand or sit for a "single"?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 08:37 PM (iafWn)

178 I pledge to film and document all of the injustices of the criminal Bush administra--- is someone frying baloney? {stampedes from room}

Posted by: Michael Moore at January 19, 2009 08:38 PM (uOvAE)

179 His name is Mike Moran he's a firefighter at Madison Square Garden. He lost his brother in the World Trade Center.

"In the spirit of the Irish people: Osama bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass!"

Thanks QuietMan. Hadn't seen it since the concert, so the memory ain't exactly right on.

Except that I thought for SURE that it was "black Irish ass". I say that because I half expected some MSM/TV retard to criticize him for it, never mind that the term Black Irish has a definition all it's own (nothing to do with skin color).

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 08:38 PM (InMdt)

180 And it still gives me chills, just thinking about it. We've lost the spirit of those post 9/11 days, and we'd better wise up..

I really thought that if any one event could get this country's head out of its ass something that horrific would be it. But within months (maybe weeks) all of the leftwing propaganda started. They got soooooo offended over the axis of evil comment. Seriously the next al-Qaeda hit should be Hollywood.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 08:41 PM (HPH1q)

181 Seriously the next al-Qaeda hit should be Hollywood.

Talk about worthwhile urban renewal...

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:43 PM (fWF4Q)

182 to turn one of Glenn's favorite lines.

We "lost" the spirit of 911 when we became a pack, rather than a herd.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at January 19, 2009 08:44 PM (ul7te)

183 I pledge to increase the height of my lifts by 3/4 inch. It's hard to snort blow off the ass of a hooker whilst on tippy-toes.

Posted by: Bill Maher at January 19, 2009 08:44 PM (uOvAE)

184 Been looking everywhere .... can't seem to find any BUCK FARRACK stuff ........ damn .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 19, 2009 08:44 PM (d0YiG)

185 Does anyone think that if there is another 9/11 sort of event, the first general impulse of the nation below Canada will be to surrender?

Methinks so.

Posted by: George Orwell at January 19, 2009 08:45 PM (FCbvi)

186 I promise to make my accountant work twice as hard to find me more deductions so I give less tax money to Obama to waste on stupid liberal ideas.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 19, 2009 08:46 PM (krKUp)

187 150 --

Two memorable moments from that concert, Adam Sandler's "Guiliani" and a poignant moment when an enraged firefighter called out al Qaida and gave his home address, challenging anyone who dared to come to his house and fight it out. I identified with that man.
Posted by: NortonPete..

..And a week later a jet taking off from JFK crashed in that guys neighborhood.
Everyone died including 4 on the ground. Howard Beach I believe.
Suspected but never officially confirmed, was a theory it was explosives in baby formula. That's when everyone could carry any amount of liquid in the cabin.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 19, 2009 08:47 PM (/i4dU)

188 I pledge to soon be in one of these D-list celeb videos. (you're gonna love my nuts)

Posted by: Vince from ShamWow at January 19, 2009 08:47 PM (uOvAE)

189 Posted by: UGAdawg at January 19, 2009 07:06 PM (MDHAs)

Yes! I was sorely pissed! Especially since I missed the announcement that she was going to be on and wasn't forewarned, and almost spilled my beer and dumped my pizza getting to the remote to switch the channel. What the hell, first Keefie O. on my TV during pregame and halftime, and then Ms. Perkybutt?

And I heartily join Ace in saying to the celebu-assholes, FUCK YOU!

Posted by: THeREsaD at January 19, 2009 08:47 PM (MO2LE)

190 Triumph o teh Will Smith.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 19, 2009 08:48 PM (n2eCn)

191 Does anyone think that if there is another 9/11 sort of event, the first general impulse of the nation below Canada will be to surrender?

It'll screw up the MSM narrative, that's for sure. After tomorrow, the Chocolate Messiah (Piss Be Upon Him) will come to power and, on his first day in office, shoot rainbows, lollipops, and unicorns out of his ass, immediately curing all the world's ills and ushering in a new era of peace, love, and enlightenment

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 08:52 PM (fWF4Q)

192 Please go to the YouTube site and add an appropriately worded pledge.

Posted by: Mutnodjmet at January 19, 2009 08:55 PM (8w/qI)

193

Been looking everywhere .... can't seem to find any BUCK FARRACK stuff ........ damn .

Lose the second "R" in Farrack and google away.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 19, 2009 08:56 PM (c4ffw)

194 I won't say "fuck you" to the celebs ... but I will say "go fuck yourselves" to them ... and "hey celebs, why don't you eat my ass with a spoon" ... and "go fucking kill yourselves with a dull axe, celebrity retards" ... and "hey, Madonna, you better get some topical cream for those warts on your cooter."

But I won't say "fuck you" to those worthless celebrity retards, because that would be uncivilized or some shit.

Posted by: thirteen28 at January 19, 2009 08:57 PM (MsWP4)

195

We pledge to change our band's overtly racist/sexist name.

Posted by: The Dixie Chicks at January 19, 2009 08:57 PM (uOvAE)

196 Gee, does this mean they'll start playing The Dixie Chicks in discount supermarkets again? Blah!

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:00 PM (iafWn)

197 I pledge to do an investigative report on newly discovered evidence that proves Barack Obama is the author of several "Shakespeare" sonnets. And I've got the Twitter feeds to prove it.

Posted by: Dan Rather at January 19, 2009 09:02 PM (uOvAE)

198 Suspected but never officially confirmed, was a theory it was explosives in baby formula. That's when everyone could carry any amount of liquid in the cabin.

Something didn't seem right about that one (Flight 587)...the official explanation seemed implausible, but I hadn't heard chemicals were implicated. I was crossing the Atlantic (in a plane) when that crash happened.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 19, 2009 09:03 PM (n2eCn)

199

Just finished reading :"Anthem" by Ayn Rand and pledging your life to the Dear Leader is a little too Communist Russia for me.

Ashton Kutcher? Useless. Super Dave Osborn once asked him if he is married to Mary Tyler Moore.

Posted by: elliott m at January 19, 2009 09:05 PM (13Ugm)

200 OTOH, it was nice of them to draw up the enemies' list for us...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 19, 2009 09:11 PM (yIy7z)

201 I would tell them to go sod themselves, but the wankers would probably enjoy doing just that.

Posted by: Tommy Paine IX at January 19, 2009 09:13 PM (HuJN5)

202
My pledge? To give President Obama all the forbearance, deference, and courtesy that the Left gave President Bush over the last eight years. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Posted by: Brown Line at January 19, 2009 09:17 PM (xYeJ1)

203 We pledge to change our band's overtly racist/sexist name.

May I suggest "The Useless Slits"? Now shut your fucking holes and play!!

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 19, 2009 09:17 PM (ZW5eD)

204 5 Celebrities. A notch above maggots.

That much? What are you, some sort of anti-maggot bigot?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:17 PM (iafWn)

205 OTOH, it was nice of them to draw up the enemies' list for us...

Hell, drawing up the enemies list is the best part of being a conservative. According to PJ O'Rourke, that is.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 09:18 PM (InMdt)

206 I pledge to be proud of my country for the next 4 to 8 years.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at January 19, 2009 09:20 PM (PIChw)

207 I pledge to be generous and take care of my poor aunt living in a slum and my half brother living in 3rd world squalor with your tax money.

Posted by: Barack Obama at January 19, 2009 09:22 PM (PIChw)

208

40/73/97/114/120/et al.

Hypothetically, I'd suggest gasoline and detergent - poor man's napalm.

Posted by: gm at January 19, 2009 09:22 PM (aXpYP)

209 Fuck.Them. I offer the following:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Oh....and I also pledge.

To never spend another dime to see or listen to anything these fair weathered 'Americans'...errrr. fucktards produce.

To fight every day for the next four years against the socialists and Marxists now running our once great country, for the sake of my family and kids and their future.

To not put another dime in the stock market until the criminals and globalists who ruined this country go to jail or disappear from the face of this earth and rot in the hottest.bastions of hell.

To stockpile as much ammo, food and water as humanly possible for whatever the next four years may bring.

May God watch over the people of this country.

Posted by: theadmiral at January 19, 2009 09:25 PM (zNl33)

210 "99.99% of our species has been wiped from existence but we're a pretty happy go lucky bunch here on the Battlestar Ponderosa."

Or as I remember someone else brilliantly describe the original BSG, "it's about genocide...but with robot dogs!"

Posted by: Dave J at January 19, 2009 09:25 PM (qsGH+)

211 187
..And a week later a jet taking off from JFK crashed in that guys neighborhood.
Everyone died including 4 on the ground. Howard Beach I believe.
Suspected but never officially confirmed, was a theory it was explosives in baby formula. That's when everyone could carry any amount of liquid in the cabin.

There is actually something far more sinister to that crash that never was followed up on. The Airbus involved had been damaged during the construction phase. Large carbon fiber "lugs" that the tail was attached to were cracked during the assembly ( and documented by Airbus), a repair was made somewhat like the repair you might make to a fiberglass part of an automobile. You cannot magna flux or x ray carbon fiber the same way you can aluminum parts. The aircraft's pilots had exerted a great deal of force on the tail but that should never have resulted in a failure, flight controls are designed that way. I believe the FAA knew it was Airbus's fault but declined to issue a AD ( Airworthiness Directive ) because of the cost and time. It would have grounded a large amount of the flying aircraft so soon after the 9/11 disasters. It would have put some airlines out of business. It was overlooked as a one time mistake and never accounted for.

Posted by: NortonPete at January 19, 2009 09:26 PM (fVuwW)

212 I promise not to spend a dime on Hollywood movies, and to mock you frauds and fruits at every opportunity.

Posted by: james23 at January 19, 2009 09:26 PM (Vc/xe)

213 "By the way, if there are any jihadis doing recon on this site, Hollywood is very very important to us Americans. It's like Mecca and Medina all in one. We couldn't function without it."

Methos - Please, please, do not give away how vital Hollywood is to the existence of the entire USA! If anything should happen to Hollywood from the jihadis that would probably end the USA forever. Do not give that secret away. All those actors/actresses on the video are vital to America.

Posted by: jjmurphy at January 19, 2009 09:27 PM (6OPMS)

214 I pledge to think of Obama each time I take a dump.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:27 PM (iafWn)

215 Gasoline dissolved in white beady Styrofoam makes for a nice sticky flammable mess. Not that I would ever have mixed up such a concoction of course...

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 19, 2009 09:29 PM (Z0HFQ)

216

Made it through 1:20. Four more years of this shit? I'm not so sure I'll be buying that DTV box after all. Anyone want a $40 dollar card?

Posted by: ErikW at January 19, 2009 09:30 PM (hKtiw)

217 I think you meant white beady Styrofoam dissolved in gasoline... but hey, your heart's in the right place... hypothetically, of course...

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:31 PM (iafWn)

218
Ditto on that Fuck You.

Posted by: Dang at January 19, 2009 09:32 PM (Y5LIx)

219 Nevermind, I like my weekend golf on ABC. Deals off.

Posted by: ErikW at January 19, 2009 09:33 PM (hKtiw)

220

This means 4 more years of never watching anything produced by Holy-wood until it's on free TV. They haven't got a penny from me the past 8 years so I've learned you can live without 'paying' to watch a bunch of fools. If you want to watch insanity go to the local facility for the insane and watch through the fence., it's no different than any Holy-wood production.

I read tonight that the past few weeks have proven that all cable news outlets are controlled and staffed by the insane. I disagree, all media outlets are controlled and staffed by the insane.

Posted by: Scrapiron at January 19, 2009 09:34 PM (XWJh5)

221 203 We pledge to change our band's overtly racist/sexist name.

May I suggest "The Useless Slits"?
Oh My Gash!

Posted by: Dang at January 19, 2009 09:35 PM (Y5LIx)

222 We pledge to change our band's overtly racist/sexist name.

May I suggest "The Useless Slits"?
Oh My Gash!

Cunt understand why you'd be surprised at that...

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 19, 2009 09:38 PM (fWF4Q)

223 "99.99% of our species has been wiped from existence but we're a pretty happy go lucky bunch here on the Battlestar Ponderosa."

Or as I remember someone else brilliantly describe the original BSG, "it's about genocide...but with robot dogs!"

The first episode of the original BSG was Pearl Harbor in space. It also took shots a peace at all costs politicians. Yeah, it was hokey and plenty 70s but it had its moments.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 09:39 PM (HPH1q)

224 Demi: I pledge to help end the slavery for one million people.

...and btw Chimperor, the fact that you freed 25 mil from the Taliban would have been a lot cooler if you kept your cowboy hat and belt buckle in the closet. Cause stupid-looking people scare me...

Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 19, 2009 09:42 PM (U663l)

225 Some advice on how to make fun of Obama: http://tinyurl.com/9ncox4

Posted by: JohnJ at January 19, 2009 09:43 PM (roIwu)

226

it's everywhere, i turn on the TV and it's all obama all the time, i turn on the radio and it's all obama, please someone make it stop.. hurry the voices in my head are getting louder.

Posted by: shoey at January 19, 2009 09:45 PM (RxUMK)

227 I pledge to support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic.

Posted by: DPR VIII at January 19, 2009 09:45 PM (4XUD3)

228

"I pledge to support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic."

Dude, that's OOOOOOLD.

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 09:48 PM (MGs0J)

229 Unless by "we" they mean "Wii." If they got a line on where I can buy a Wii, then we may have a deal.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 19, 2009 09:48 PM (n2eCn)

230 "We pledge to change our band's overtly racist/sexist name."

"May I suggest The Useless Slits?"

"Oh My Gash!"

"Cunt understand why you'd be surprised at that..."

Twats wrong with "Slits"?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:48 PM (iafWn)

231 227 I pledge to support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic.

Dude, where the hell were you on Election Day?

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 09:49 PM (iafWn)

232
"My pledge? To give President Obama all the forbearance, deference, and courtesy that the Left gave President Bush over the last eight years. Nothing more. Nothing less."

That's sorta harsh.

Posted by: Lily at January 19, 2009 09:51 PM (gIQ7K)

233 I pledge to illegally download all movies from the internet for free, so that I will not give hollywood a single penny. Suck it bitches.

Posted by: HHKirst at January 19, 2009 09:53 PM (yYEyt)

234

wow and i thought i felt sick before i watched that.

i think the only cure for this obvious mental impairment is more cowbell, a cordless drill and some muriatic acid.

Posted by: e.koenig at January 19, 2009 09:59 PM (2J+Vs)

235 Dude, where the hell were you on Election Day?

Giving guys from the VA rides to the polls.

Posted by: DPR VIII at January 19, 2009 10:04 PM (4XUD3)

236 I only wish George Bush would lock them up if only for his last day in office just to prove a point..

"If I really was a fascist, this would have happened a LONG time ago"

Posted by: Dave C at January 19, 2009 10:06 PM (Woh2s)

237 Damn you, Yellowstone!

Stop teasing!

Reboot!

Posted by: eman at January 19, 2009 10:06 PM (ZsOIJ)

238 The aircraft's pilots had exerted a great deal of force on the tail but that should never have resulted in a failure, flight controls are designed that way.

You sure about that? If that was truly the case, pilots would have no reason to understand the concept of 'manuevering speed', i.e. V sub A. And there have been plenty enough Airbus crashes over the years where the aircraft's fly by wire/software combination failed to prevent loss of control accidents as well.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 19, 2009 10:12 PM (YYanS)

239

If we really want to give these people a big fuck you we need to completely stop going to movies. We need to stop renting them. Everything. You see how long these fuckers last when they can't make any money.

Sure it will be tough, but hey read a book. Spend sometime with friends and family. Start a new hobby, anything but provide money to these scum bags.

Posted by: southdakotaboy at January 19, 2009 10:13 PM (XhjAw)

240 Now remember, everybody: the game plan for tomorrow is, as Obama is about to be sworn in Fat Dick Cheney and his squad of elite martial arts commandos jump up on stage and take out Obama's entire entourage. Cheney delivers the coup de grace to Obama with a swift kick to the abs, knocking him.

Cheney has Roberts swear him in as President for Life and we all applaud and laugh with relief at home.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 10:17 PM (iafWn)

241

First let's watch the celebrity based love affair with Global Warming...they have been terrorizing my children for 6 years...my children watched Al Gore's lies in school...

Now, my children are being sold Barfy the wonder man, curing all of the problems with his love and smile.puke.

Posted by: ford at January 19, 2009 10:20 PM (Ki7fm)

242

"Now, my children are being sold Barfy the wonder man, curing all of the problems with his love and smile."

Meh. I was sold Captain Kangaroo, and the glycerin-teared Iron Eyes Cody and Smokey saying "Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires" and Ladybird Johnson with her "plant for beautiful highways," and somehow I emerged intact; my kids and yours will do just fine.

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 10:29 PM (MGs0J)

243 "Sure it will be tough, but hey read a book."

Sure! Should we start with Maya Angelou, Nicholsen Baker, Stephen King, Jay McInerney or Harold Pinter?

Posted by: Kensington at January 19, 2009 10:32 PM (fhJCy)

244 I wasn't sold much in school as I was sneaking a scifi book behind my text book most of the time.

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 10:32 PM (oRJZj)

245

can't you all see how brave and caring they are? they care so much they had to make an ad to show everyone how much they care, do you know how hard it is to make and ad?

well? do you, mr poopy-pants?

Posted by: shoey at January 19, 2009 10:33 PM (RxUMK)

246 If we're gonna sell our kids some propaganda, let's sell 'em something useful. Like "Hobo Skinning for Fun and Profit".

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 10:34 PM (MKNSy)

247

As I sit here eating Polar Bear steak with my lucky Ivory fork that I also killed a Baby Seal with to make my lounging pants, I calmly lay down my utensils onto my 300 lb solid wood table fashioned from the wood I ripped from the rain forest, I will retort to these Hollywood assfleas by pledging to never pay for any of their services ever again and to vilify everything they stand for in the tried and true Amish "shunning" tradition.

I hereby also pledge to stop using toilet paper in favor of endangered snow owls (less chafing), to buy a shitload of guns for no apparent reason except to piss you off and to use your DVD's from the bargain bin as skeet.

Furthermore I pledge to laugh my ass off when you all get too old, saggy and botoxed to even get a call-back for a Depends commercial that only plays on a loop aboard cruise ships along the Somali Coast.

Happy Hope n Change mofos.....elephants never forget and we can basically squash you by like, sitting down.

Posted by: krukke1 at January 19, 2009 10:35 PM (pSOzi)

248

Sure it will be tough,

Why? Who the fuck still goes to see movies in the theater? Seriously -- who are you people?

Buy a 52" used plasma TV and get the most expensive cable package your area offers. And then wait the whopping six whole months after initial release before the mediocre piece of shit you almost dropped $60 in family costs comes to HBO/Cinemax/Showtime/Starz.

Tough indeed.

No matter your cable bill, you'll almost certainly save money, and you won't have to deal with the post-apocalyptic mutants that increasingly dominate theater audiences because the rest of us have smartened up and startened treating those obsolete faux-butter factories as the poison gas chambers they are.

Posted by: VJay at January 19, 2009 10:37 PM (k87Wm)

249 It's definitely time to start selling celebs faux-Birkenstocks made out of hobo pelts. I'm good with the hobo pelts, but I could use a hand making the soles.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 10:38 PM (MKNSy)

250 Lord. Celebrities need to remember that, when it comes down to brass tacks, all they all are highly-paid dancing monkeys who are supposed to entertain us.

So dance, monkey! Dance!

On a more serious note... this Obama-worship irks me to no end. And not because we lost. I know plenty of liberals... and consider a good number to be friends. Some are good friends. The guy I grew up with, who I consider a brother and would seriously take a bullet for, is a foaming-at-the-mouth liberal. But, for the most part, they're good people.

But when they get together...

Get them talking about The One, and they take on on a glazed-eye delirious smile. I honestly can't grok it.

Also, the Obamamessiah can apparently do no wrong. I like Bush as a President, but he made some serious missteps. When he fucked up, I wasn't shy to admit it.

Liberal Friend: "Man, what about Dubya, huh? Can you believe that he (filled in the blank)?"
Me: "Yeah, it's pretty stupid. What was he thinking?"
Liberal Friend: "Truth to power!"

But if you even imply that The One isn't infallible...

Me: "Do you guys really think that Obama is completely clean in the Illinois senate-seat scandal? I mean, we are talking about HIS seat here..."
Liberal Friend: "Heresy!" (points at me and screams, a'la the 70's version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers)

Posted by: Xoxotl at January 19, 2009 10:38 PM (FrV/a)

251 I pledge to use free mondays at RedBox DVD. No money from me for those hollywood fuckwad douchenozzles.

Posted by: Herr Steifenhoch at January 19, 2009 10:39 PM (v9vTw)

252 Just can't gin up the interest to read the link, Ace. I'm glad you're documenting it - out of the mouths of Hollyweird imbeciles and all - so that I can amend the list of personalities to avoid, but it kills too many neurons to follow the fucking irrelevant except to the extent that they are acknowledged to be irrelevant. And shit-brained. But mostly shit-brained.

Thank you for your sacrifice and for doing the work Americans won't do.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 19, 2009 10:39 PM (sI5Ho)

253

They can do this only after Obama is President? Love of country wasn't enough until Obama?

Fuck you is right.

Post the list ofr all the jerkoff's in the [iece of crap so that we all can

"Pledge not to put one more cent into the pockets of assholes"

Posted by: drjohn at January 19, 2009 10:42 PM (ToVRf)

254 As to what to do on Inauguration Day? Start Atlas Shrugged. I'll see if I can differentiate fiction from today's fact.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 19, 2009 10:43 PM (sI5Ho)

255

"get the most expensive cable package your area offers."

Screw cable. Just download off the newsgroups and fuck these cockholsters out of their royalties. And whenever you get a twinge of conscience, just re-watch the video clip ace linked to.

alt.binaries.movies.divx (or any one of a dozen others.)

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 10:44 PM (MGs0J)

256 I promise to make myself less fuckable by only going out in public with my hand up Samantha Ronson 's ass and thereby containing a herpes outbreak in the greater Los Angeles area.

Posted by: Lindsay Lohan at January 19, 2009 10:47 PM (EJmQG)

257 I'd like to second AnonymousDrivel in thanking Ace for watching this dross so the rest of us don't have to. We recognize and appreciate your sacrifice, Ace. Would you like roses or chocolates?

Posted by: katya at January 19, 2009 10:48 PM (oRJZj)

258

I promise to make myself less fuckable by only going out in public with my hand up Samantha Ronson 's ass and thereby containing a herpes outbreak in the greater Los Angeles area.

From the super smokin' hotness of Mean Girls to the nauseating bull dyke- punching of "Sam" in half a decade. The Mayans are looking more prescient every day.

Posted by: VJay at January 19, 2009 10:53 PM (k87Wm)

259 "Sure it will be tough, but hey read a book."

Sure! Should we start with Maya Angelou, Nicholsen Baker, Stephen King, Jay McInerney or Harold Pinter?

Fuck those tools; read some Faulkner. Those cocksuckers aren't fit to toss his salad on their best day.

Posted by: Captain Hate at January 19, 2009 10:54 PM (ZW5eD)

260 Typical Hollywood creed the last 8 years:

"Bush is a fascist who is trampling on the Constitution and imposing a police state. If you argue that point with us we'll see to it that you never work in this town again"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 10:57 PM (miw86)

261 Hmmmm, non-stop Bambi-worship on the big TV....

Or download & watch the pilot to The Equalizer on my teeny-screened netbook....

Robert McCall gets the nod.....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 11:00 PM (MKNSy)

262 I don't go to movies. Most theaters show lefty crap with glee so fuck 'em go out of business. The only DVDs I buy are of old movies. Last one I bought was Knute Rockne: All American. And thanks to Algore inventing the internet I haven't bought a CD in years and get to see new movies at home too. Here's to all of those fuckers being out of work real soon.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 11:01 PM (HPH1q)

263 Meh. I was sold Captain Kangaroo, and the glycerin-teared Iron Eyes Cody

And they never told you Iron Eyes Cody was a fucking Italian.

Posted by: nickless at January 19, 2009 11:04 PM (MMC8r)

264 Hollywood might get fucked anyway by their saviors. Consider all the regulations and "green" regulations. Hollywood productions themselves will be exempted as always, but they still have to distribute them to the masses.

All these new rules, taxes, and regulations will certainly hit the theater owners to the point where it'll cost 50 bucks a pop to watch bad to mediocre cinema. Theaters have to be air conditioned and those projectors and sound systems eat up the juice too.

Celebrities always find such nice things to say about the Chinese, even while they crank out bootlegs by the millions.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 11:04 PM (miw86)

265 Pretty much any movie worth watching has already been made. A great deal of what they're cranking out now are remakes, sequels, remakes of sequels, movies made from old tv shows, sequels of movies made from old tv shows, remakes of sequels of movies made from old tv shows..

Posted by: kbdabear at January 19, 2009 11:11 PM (miw86)

266 Jesus, it's all Riefenstahl all the time. I pledge not to watch any movies made past 1960 unless they contain about 50% certified John Wayne content.

Posted by: Kerry at January 19, 2009 11:13 PM (NyiUS)

267 I pledge to make movies showing how evil corporations fuck over the working man for greed while hiring the cheapest help possible and finding reasons not to pay them all.

Posted by: Michael Moore at January 19, 2009 11:15 PM (miw86)

268

i'm scared Ace, i don't want to live in the shed, tinkering with lawnmowers, and eatin' biscuts 'n mustard for the next four or (gulp) eight years...

Posted by: "slingblade" shoey at January 19, 2009 11:17 PM (RxUMK)

269 Hollywood might get fucked anyway by their saviors. Consider all the regulations and "green" regulations. Hollywood productions themselves will be exempted as always, but they still have to distribute them to the masses.

Yeah, it's amazing how the tree huggers make all those movies with huge explosions and car chases. Aren't they wasting our limited resources? Aren't they harming Mother Earth Gaia?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 19, 2009 11:17 PM (HPH1q)

270 I promise to make movies proving that the evil corporations are plotting to turn you all into mindless zombies through your televisions. Not the corporations that own the studios or tv networks mind you, nothing wrong with profit if it finds its way into my bank account.

Posted by: Oliver Stone at January 19, 2009 11:18 PM (miw86)

271 Celebrities. A notch above maggots.

Au contraire. Maggots actually serve a useful purpose in this world. The trained seals in that video? Not so much.

Oh, and I know that it's been said, but let me reiterate to the ass nuggets from Dicklesswood: Fuck you.

Posted by: physics geek at January 19, 2009 11:20 PM (JotYN)

272 We promise to work to end gun violence in America. We think guns are only appropriate in the hands of our bodyguards, studio security, and in every last one of our films.

Posted by: Directors Guild at January 19, 2009 11:21 PM (miw86)

273 I pledge not to watch any movies made past 1960 unless they contain about 50% certified John Wayne content.

Dude, you gotta add Lee Marvin in there.

Favorite Lee Marvin Joke:

They had to take that Lee Marvin brand toilet paper off the market....because it was too rough, too tough...and wouldn't take shit off of anyone.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 19, 2009 11:22 PM (MKNSy)

274 Thanks to Obama, we no longer have our patriotism questioned. It's patriotic to encourage our enemies by loudly opposing any war. We can now get down to the business of questioning the patriotism of anyone who constitutionally votes the way I don't like.

Posted by: Tom Hanks at January 19, 2009 11:24 PM (miw86)

275 To Hollywood..

Fuck you..

man.. I feel so much better now..

Posted by: Dave C at January 19, 2009 11:25 PM (Woh2s)

276 I don't know about you guys, but this cult type devotion to Obama scares the shit out of me, especially by Oprah. I might find myself in some real bad shit the next time I jump on her couch

Posted by: Tom Cruise at January 19, 2009 11:27 PM (miw86)

277

"Iron Eyes Cody was a fucking Italian"

Dude, I was ready to prove you wrong. Then I IMDB'd it and found out you were right. What will happen next to destroy my most cherished beliefs?

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 11:29 PM (MGs0J)

278

top 3 desserts served at the Inaugural Ball:

3. fruit & nuts

2. Skittles - all the colors of the rainbow (eyeroll)

1. Chocolate Messiah

Posted by: shoey at January 19, 2009 11:29 PM (RxUMK)

279 265: Well, don't forget the boom in cinematic versions of comic books! The world was simply dying for the "Silver Surfer," after all!

Though with fewer and fewer superheroes to turn into movie studios, I hear the NEXT hot Hollyweird trend will be movies based on owner's manuals. For example, the manual to my nice new home theatre system will be at LEAST as interesting as any George Cloony movie EVER was.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 19, 2009 11:31 PM (iafWn)

280

"at LEAST as interesting as any George Cloony movie EVER was."

It will certainly beat Syrianna all to hell.

Posted by: notropis at January 19, 2009 11:33 PM (MGs0J)

281 I pledge to save on water by changing my panties once every two months instead of once a month. I pledge also to donate the crust I scrape off to science instead of selling it to Perez Hilton

Posted by: Britney Spears at January 19, 2009 11:33 PM (miw86)

282 i'm going to bed... don't forget to ride your Unicorn's to work tomorrow

Posted by: shoey at January 19, 2009 11:37 PM (RxUMK)

283 I pledge also to end world hunger and find new green energy. Will you guys take an IOU?

Posted by: Arnold Schwartzenegger at January 19, 2009 11:39 PM (miw86)

284 How long will it be until the movie versions of The Complete Collected Works of Barack Obama hit theaters?

Posted by: Methos at January 19, 2009 11:41 PM (u78my)

285 I pledge to turn "24" into a whiny guilt trip over what we did to keep America from becoming a smoking hole in the ground

Posted by: Kiefer Sutherland at January 19, 2009 11:42 PM (miw86)

286 Please don't let your fascist hatred of celebrities who praise our Lightbringer keep you out of the theaters. We're negotiating with Bill Ayers for the rights to Fugitive Days. I'm going to play Bernadette Dohn. Tim was going to play Bill Ayers but Ayers kept insisting that only George Clooney could play him.

Posted by: Susan Sarandon at January 19, 2009 11:51 PM (miw86)

287 What with this "we" shit, Kemosabe?

Posted by: Tonto at January 19, 2009 11:51 PM (aioP1)

288 I pledge to eat a lot less paste.

Except on Friday night.

Posted by: Matt Damon at January 19, 2009 11:52 PM (ZsOIJ)

289

( black tues for me.............

Posted by: josey at January 19, 2009 11:52 PM (B/iqT)

290 The Complete Collected Works of Barack Obama

Its already out in book form. I bought a couple today. They're called blank notebooks.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 19, 2009 11:53 PM (Z0HFQ)

291 Let's train some rifle fire on those monkeys and kick their ass!

OOHRAH!

Posted by: R. Lee Ermey at January 19, 2009 11:53 PM (Z9IOH)

292 Hey O, I forgot to pay my taxes too. Could you cut a brother a break?

Posted by: Wesley Snipes at January 19, 2009 11:53 PM (miw86)

293 If a celebrity turns his lights out at night and recycles his garbage and doesn't call Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight to tell us about it, did he make a sound?

Posted by: kbdbear at January 19, 2009 11:57 PM (miw86)

294 My buddy works in Hollywood and says that the amount of food and drink these morons waste during the making of one of their crap movies would feed a small town. They're all hypocrites...screw 'em !

Posted by: Terry Johnson at January 19, 2009 11:57 PM (mpDcE)

295 Well said Ace.

Fuck them and the unicorn they rode in on!

Posted by: monkeyfan at January 19, 2009 11:59 PM (cEE8N)

296 Who was the celebritard that lectured us on global warming, then when it was pointed out she had a carbon footprint the size of Godzilla whined "we can't be perfect, we're only human!"

Posted by: kbdbear at January 20, 2009 12:02 AM (miw86)

297 That would be Laurie David.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 20, 2009 12:07 AM (MKNSy)

298 Fuck her too.

Posted by: DPR VIII at January 20, 2009 12:11 AM (4XUD3)

299 Hey Ace, sucks to be you this week.

On the other hand, it sucks to be me every day, especially with this pencil sized penis of mine.

Posted by: Brian at January 20, 2009 12:17 AM (YrCzB)

300 So, Brian that's just random asshattery? Most of the sludge that spills over from Kos and Huffpo can at least be bothered to pick a fight based on the topic at hand.

You can actually read the post (the letters at the top of the page), right?

Posted by: Methos at January 20, 2009 12:31 AM (u78my)

301 Hey, do you guy's think that there will be a rebirth of Tarzan movies? We sure have a cast for it now. Just think, all these Lib celebs could ask their Messiah to take a leading role, hell anyone can read a script.

Posted by: Navyvet at January 20, 2009 12:40 AM (Ex9gk)

302 297 That would be Laurie David.

I'll never forget what Larry David said to a reporter when asked what he was going to do now that the divorce from Laurie was final.

"The first thing I'm going to do is go home and turn on every light in the house"

Posted by: kbdbear at January 20, 2009 12:42 AM (miw86)

303

Oh, good lord. Those celebrity pinheads make me sick. They are the slime of humanity. I'd gladly tell them that to their faces! (Let's see how they'd feel about freedom of speech then.)

Posted by: SpideyTerry at January 20, 2009 12:52 AM (wM0Xz)

304 Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country can do for you!

Posted by: duh1 at January 20, 2009 12:56 AM (nhIPz)

305 Celebrities are useless. Unless we have a food shortage. In which case, I will happily eat them.

Dirk's said all that before but he is right about Uncle Ronnie and co. Pussies.

Posted by: Amanda at January 20, 2009 12:57 AM (WHzLu)

306

Fuck these mindless "celebs" who think they are sooo above us all.

Posted by: dinkyjack at January 20, 2009 01:22 AM (gE2eI)

307 "F- Celebrities"--love it.

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Posted by: FloofyParisParamus at January 20, 2009 02:18 AM (5w5Z/)

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And now that the guy from the RIGHT PARTY is in the White House, all of a sudden it's cool to wave the flag and now you're in the mood to share the love with other people and 'be a better person'?

What a crock of shit!

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Thank you Fuck you Hollywood. We'll call this the conservative bail-out.

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PPS: January 20, 2009 ain't Inauguration Day in this house. It's my three-year-old daughter's first-ever snow day.

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I ain't pulling weeds from some park in some broke-down neighborhood unless BHO and Co. send some of that $875 billion my way.

I agree. Why the fuck would I want to go and clean up a neighborhood when the people who live there don't care enough to clean it up themselves?

Cheney has Roberts swear him in as President for Life and we all applaud and laugh with relief at home.

The best part about this plan is that the military would never follow the Dems to re-take the gummint. The Dems have fucked the military over so many times that they are screwed.

Besides, Darth Cheney has Chuck Norris.

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Posted by: famous actor at January 20, 2009 09:16 AM (EVmYn)

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Glad to jump in, Big Hollywood. We are all Americans, after all.

But I'll have to insist on one condition:

An apology.

An abject, meaningful, abasing apology for all of the hateful anti-Bush and anti-US propaganda put forth by you over the last eight years. An admission that you were and probably still are absolutely horrible and incredibly stupid, that you actively undermined our war effort at home and abroad, putting your party before your country. That you were misguided fools at best and treasonous snakes at worst. That 9-11 was NOT an inside job, we're not in Iraq for oil, nor was the 2000 election stolen. That we ARE at war with TRUE religious fanatics who want to destroy us, and the Iraq war is part of that, and that this is a bigger threat than the ManBearPig of anthropogenic global warming. That dissent may be patriotic, but treason isn't. And that you are forever ashamed about your treatment of your former president and fellow citizens.

On second thought, Fuck You. Go kill yourselves, you bunch of retarded jackasses.

Posted by: ronnie dobbs at January 20, 2009 09:53 AM (hmHqH)

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Douchebags.

Posted by: Gary at January 20, 2009 10:07 AM (kgg3C)

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I pledge to stop giving one damn dime to the entertainment industry. Since we are all in this together, I will expect that all their work to be free of charge as part of their sacred "common good". We're all in this together, right? I also pledge to use all of my Josh Groban album inserts to line our cat boxes.

On a serious note, could these flaming retards seriously shut the f*** up? Do they actually think acting like such douchetools and alientating their closed minded, uneducated "minority" is going to help their careers and cleanse their souls? To borrow from Anchorman, "You have broken my heart, Josh Groban. You have broken my heart...Go f*** yourself Hollywood."

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