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| PeTA: Let's Call Fish "Sea Kittens," So That People Won't Want to Eat ThemI don't know if that's going to work. Because I just got a hankering for baked kitten with a mustard-and-rosemary rub. They had a lot of meetings to come up with "sea kittens." They played around with various possibilities, trying for cuteness, and also trying to enlist fellow liberals to take their pet (ahem) cause more seriously. PeTA's Top Ten Rejected New Names for Fish 10. "Marine gerbils" 9. "Fish of Color" 8. "Aquatic Chipmunks" 7. "Honorary Maritime Palestinians" 6. "Ocean-Based Independent Book and Record Store Owners, Who Desperately Need Our Help to Stay Viable Given the Predatory Corporate Media Distribution Regime and Also, Given Large Predatory Commercial Fishing Nets" 5. "Undocumented Dolphins" 4. "Aquabunnies" 3. "Ichthysexuals" 2. "Sea Vaginas" and the Number One Rejected New PeTA Name for Fish... 1. Plucky Little "Obamanauts"Comments1
mmmmmmmm....sea kittens.......so tasttttyyyyyy.....
Posted by: Faith+1 at January 09, 2009 02:20 PM (evYVu) 2
11. aquaturds.
Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:21 PM (N8+Yj) 3
I had some raw, sliced sea kitten last night, and it was awfully tasty.
Posted by: smokeybehr at January 09, 2009 02:22 PM (SwbjH) 4
The other thing that smells like a vag. Posted by: EC at January 09, 2009 02:22 PM (mAhn3) 5
just call them "water turds". then only (fill in the blank) would eat them. Posted by: mark c at January 09, 2009 02:22 PM (EVmYn) 6
Sea Kittens won't work cause kittens grow into cats and people want to shoot or run over cats.
Posted by: katya at January 09, 2009 02:23 PM (oRJZj) 7
shit. formerhostage beat me to it.
Posted by: mark c at January 09, 2009 02:23 PM (EVmYn) 8
Can someone please call the French spook who sank the Rainbow Warrior and give him some new coordinates? Not because of PETA's politics or opinions, but because they had meetings to decide this.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 09, 2009 02:24 PM (ZylhF) 9
Kittens are actually quite tender and tasty. What guy hasn't eaten a few puss...uh...feeelines in their day?
Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:25 PM (N8+Yj) 10
This shouldn't really get to me as much as it does, but is anyone sick and fucking tired of the language being manipulated, twisted and warped to fit the agenda of whatever completely and abjectly insane special interest wants it to be?
/fucking annoyed Posted by: ECM at January 09, 2009 02:25 PM (q3V+C) 11
Sea Kittens won't work cause kittens grow into cats and people want to shoot or run over cats.
Right-thinking people, anyway. Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at January 09, 2009 02:25 PM (ZylhF) 12
So what'll they start calling cows? Prarie puppies?
Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:27 PM (N8+Yj) 13
Fucking retards.
Posted by: Bruce at January 09, 2009 02:27 PM (rdFaW) Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:28 PM (N8+Yj) 15
If they change the name from fish to sea kittens, we won't know what's in the chinese buffet!
Posted by: katya at January 09, 2009 02:28 PM (oRJZj) 16
Fish are food, not friends.
Posted by: some random shark at January 09, 2009 02:28 PM (knHvu) Posted by: AmishDude at January 09, 2009 02:29 PM (T0NGe) 18
ECM, it's been a thorn in my side for years... 'Immigrant" (illegal alien) and "Afifrmative Action" (racial discrimination) are my (least) favorite examples.
Posted by: hindmost at January 09, 2009 02:31 PM (BKlar) 19
Off topic. Fat girl gets dissed on a date, gets drunk, calls dude up, they have relations, and she posts her story on the web for all to see.
Posted by: Read this now at January 09, 2009 02:31 PM (AQj/2) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 02:31 PM (LVT6e) Posted by: hindmost at January 09, 2009 02:32 PM (BKlar) 22
Sea Vaginas? Cute and cuddly? Fuck that, one of those things attacked the Nautilus in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 09, 2009 02:32 PM (eiOZw) 23
Kittens," So That People Won't Want to Eat Them The staff at the local teryaki place begs to differ. Posted by: AndrewsDad at January 09, 2009 02:33 PM (C2//T) 24
> If we're not supposed to eat fish, then why are they all stuffed with seafood?
Damnit! You made me shoot a mouthful of coffee on my monitor! The other variant is: If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat? Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:33 PM (N8+Yj) Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 02:34 PM (wOGfT) 26
Hey! Cut out the barbs!
Posted by: Jimmy at January 09, 2009 02:34 PM (/Ft4q) 27
Catfish, mmmm good, fried is best.
Posted by: bill-tb at January 09, 2009 02:35 PM (7evkT) 28
Sea Vaginas- The stuff Dave in Texas' nightmares are made of
I thought for sure you'd enjoy Stuffed Sea Vaginas Posted by: pajama momma at January 09, 2009 02:35 PM (kWQTL) Posted by: mojo at January 09, 2009 02:36 PM (g1cNf) 30
"When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover.” Something tells me that someone hasn't done very much fishing--err, kittening. Posted by: Cowboy at January 09, 2009 02:37 PM (tGClb) Posted by: pajama momma at January 09, 2009 02:37 PM (kWQTL) Posted by: Dang at January 09, 2009 02:38 PM (Y5LIx) 33
31
Macaca Fish
makes no sense, I just wanted an excuse to say Maaacaca I just spit on my monitor... thanks. Posted by: Kaptain Amerika at January 09, 2009 02:38 PM (5zHRC) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 02:38 PM (LVT6e) 35
Pee in it food.
Posted by: Jimmy at January 09, 2009 02:38 PM (/Ft4q) 36
Just call it See Pussy
Posted by: MAJHAM at January 09, 2009 02:40 PM (WvC5A) 37
"When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover."
Monica Lewinski should take note. Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:40 PM (N8+Yj) 38
"I can't believe it's not pussy".
Posted by: ricky at January 09, 2009 02:41 PM (qfzyC) Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 02:41 PM (wOGfT) Posted by: Eleven at January 09, 2009 02:41 PM (NeqJy) 41
Dammmmmit ricky!!!! I'd just cleaned off my monitor!
Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:42 PM (N8+Yj) 42
Kitten of the Sea
Posted by: pajama momma at January 09, 2009 02:42 PM (kWQTL) 43
A whole shitload of sea kittens don't live in the sea. Have the idiots at PETA never heard of rivers, lakes, etc.?
Posted by: right at January 09, 2009 02:42 PM (EquV1) 44
Reminds me of the idiocy over Fishkill, NY.
Every time they come up with one of these dumb ideas (luckily, only dumb, and not outright offensive as when they tried to equate modern slaughterhouses with the Holocaust, or factory farming with chattel slavery), I wonder if they have made sure they've got their complete nutrition. Because people (like cats and dogs) were not built to be vegan. Many vegans can become severely nutritionally deficient if they're not careful. Lacking too many B vitamins and essential amino acids, their thought processes become a little... wonky. Such as here. The other possibility is they were smoking a whole bunch of weed, which is about as likely. Posted by: meep at January 09, 2009 02:43 PM (7uTCa) 45
"Prairie Puppies." Alliterative and goofy. Consider this term coined, FormerHostage. One could twist another commonly used nickname and call cattle "land manatees." Posted by: PaleoMedic at January 09, 2009 02:43 PM (xirX/) 46
Posted by: right at January 09, 2009 02:42 PM (EquV1)
Good point! Maybe they should just call them "wet pussy" Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:44 PM (N8+Yj) Posted by: Dang at January 09, 2009 02:44 PM (Y5LIx) 48
Paleo, manatees aren't cute enough. How about "land otters"
Posted by: FormerHostage at January 09, 2009 02:46 PM (N8+Yj) 49
43
A whole shitload of sea kittens don't live in the sea. Have the idiots at PETA never heard of rivers, lakes, etc.?
If you want to lean know about nature, don't ask an environmentalist. Ask a hunter. Posted by: Dang at January 09, 2009 02:47 PM (Y5LIx) 50
Sea- Kittens...don't they realize that calling them that will destroy all fish populations within 500 miles of Mexico's coastline.
Posted by: A. Weasel at January 09, 2009 02:48 PM (bqcfE) Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 02:48 PM (wOGfT) 52
Proper spelling- Pussea
Posted by: pajama momma at January 09, 2009 02:49 PM (kWQTL) 53
Chinese love cats, which quickly disappear from areas around China Buffets, and so maybe fish should be called "Hillarys"
Posted by: J David at January 09, 2009 02:52 PM (uMxF4) 54
Cage goes in the water? You go into the cage? Kitten's in the water. Our kitten.........
Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again. Posted by: Techie at January 09, 2009 02:53 PM (906oR) 55
This thread makes me want to boil a live lobster in PETA's honor.
Posted by: Reiver at January 09, 2009 02:54 PM (Yi1Sk) 56
Land kittens eat sea kittens. There's a lesson here.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at January 09, 2009 02:55 PM (fGDhl) 57
On second thought, there a lot of PUMAs out there that would probably eat some of that...
Posted by: J David at January 09, 2009 02:55 PM (uMxF4) Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 02:58 PM (wOGfT) 59
Mercury Muffins
Posted by: dittybopper at January 09, 2009 02:59 PM (ksr4J) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:00 PM (LVT6e) 61
I'm still scared of and want to kill pirahna puppies.
Posted by: polynikes at January 09, 2009 03:01 PM (m2CN7) Posted by: Eleven at January 09, 2009 03:02 PM (NeqJy) 63
Let's see, we already have a fish called "Cod" that is pretty popular. Now maybe it is only eaten by slutty girls and dandy men, but I don't think so. I know a lesbian that likes Cod.
Kind of blows that theory. Posted by: Kasper Hauser at January 09, 2009 03:03 PM (ZPwZl) 64
Well to prevent evolutionists or atheists from eating fish they can call them 'relatives' .
Posted by: polynikes at January 09, 2009 03:04 PM (m2CN7) Posted by: TennDon at January 09, 2009 03:05 PM (o6Yv2) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:05 PM (LVT6e) 67
That term will never work, the maffia isn't going to go for the 'He's sleeping with the sea kittens' line.
Posted by: Eric at January 09, 2009 03:05 PM (MFvqO) 68
Funny how this ingenious strategy doesn't work for bottom feeding catfish.
Posted by: Fritz at January 09, 2009 03:06 PM (3Bqev) Posted by: Mr. Peabody at January 09, 2009 03:07 PM (09ntO) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:07 PM (LVT6e) 71
So what is the difference between catfish and PETA?
Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 03:07 PM (wOGfT) 72
A whole shitload of sea kittens don't live in the sea. Have the idiots at PETA never heard of rivers, lakes, etc.? Nobody ever accused them of being smart. Posted by: katya at January 09, 2009 03:08 PM (oRJZj) 73
Every time they say PETA, I think pita. Pita Fajita with grilled steak at Chili's®. Makes me hungry. Posted by: Dang at January 09, 2009 03:10 PM (Y5LIx) 74
When I was in Taiwan back in 82 & 83, a Chinese friend told me that if you owned a dog, you kept it inside and a close eye in it 'cause people stole dogs to eat them. Soooo... there go the dog names too.
Posted by: katya at January 09, 2009 03:10 PM (oRJZj) Posted by: polynikes at January 09, 2009 03:14 PM (m2CN7) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:14 PM (LVT6e) 77
How about calling PETA members human pigs so we can eat them?
Posted by: LegalImmigrant at January 09, 2009 03:18 PM (rkJR8) 78
Scent of a Woman. Scent of a peta Woman.
Posted by: demoncrat at January 09, 2009 03:18 PM (8nB5X) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:18 PM (LVT6e) 80
@47 Dang -- do you want us to all stop eating anything?... Ever?... Again? Yeah, #47 put me off of all sorts of things. Posted by: Dang at January 09, 2009 03:18 PM (Y5LIx) Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 09, 2009 03:23 PM (LVT6e) Posted by: Andi Sullivan at January 09, 2009 03:23 PM (PIChw) 83
Let's call them "Sea Pussy(cat)" Then guys will eat them all the time!
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 03:24 PM (iafWn) 84
I don't feel so good....
Posted by: Eleven at January 09, 2009 03:25 PM (NeqJy) 85
WonderWartHog you beat me to it. I was going to say it would have been much cuter if they said "Maritime Muppets".
Posted by: PoconoJoe at January 09, 2009 03:30 PM (b/SK5) 86
10. "Marine gerbils"
I already call them that. Excuse me, I have a trouser gerbil running down my leg... Posted by: Richard Gere at January 09, 2009 03:30 PM (iafWn) Posted by: HT at January 09, 2009 03:31 PM (2ttsP) 88
I can't even stand this. It's like a 5-year-old's world, to think they can just call it something else and it will all be better. But, you all already knew that. I don't even like fish, but it makes me want to kill them. Just because.
Posted by: April at January 09, 2009 03:33 PM (2B3NC) 89
No more Charlie the tuna, tabby the tuna.
Posted by: PoconoJoe at January 09, 2009 03:33 PM (b/SK5) 90
Sort of off topic, but this thread reminded me of a yacht I saw many years ago in Ocean City, Maryland. The Puss Sea Galore. Posted by: MLD at January 09, 2009 03:34 PM (VR+Lo) 91
Laugh of the week, easily. Um, intended laugh, I should clarify. Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 09, 2009 03:36 PM (kLWtB) 92
Let's come up with a cuter name for fetuses while we're at it.
Posted by: Y-not at January 09, 2009 03:37 PM (MeYi5) 93
Uterus urchins?
Posted by: CUS at January 09, 2009 03:51 PM (wOGfT) 94
88 I can't even stand this. It's like a 5-year-old's world, to think they can just call it something else and it will all be better.
But isn't that what "PC" is ALL about? They're not crippled, they're disabled. They're not disabled, they're challenged. They're not challenged, they're "differently abled." It just gets bizarre and old. Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 03:59 PM (iafWn) Posted by: AngelEm at January 09, 2009 04:01 PM (tbIup) 96
How do you drown a sack full of seak kittens? Posted by: Javems at January 09, 2009 04:02 PM (hq71Y) 97
So...they've solved the whole fishy taste thing? cool. I'll have an order of sea kittens, a side of hush puppies, and the slaw, no, the pasta salad.
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 09, 2009 04:07 PM (1hM1d) 98
If they change the name from fish to sea kittens, we won't know what's in the chinese buffet!
Oh, like you know what's in the chinese buffet as it stands... Who is this General T'so, and why do I have his chicken? Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 09, 2009 04:09 PM (1hM1d) 99
96: throw the sack out into the desert.
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 04:12 PM (iafWn) 100
Can't swing a dead sea kitten in this town without hitting a democrat.
Posted by: Eric at January 09, 2009 04:13 PM (MFvqO) 101
the thing about a kitten... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes.
Posted by: quint at January 09, 2009 04:15 PM (PD1tk) Posted by: speedster1 at January 09, 2009 04:16 PM (v40Bj) Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 04:34 PM (iafWn) Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 04:41 PM (iafWn) 105
At least PETA's silliness allows more folks to see it for the joke it is.
Posted by: right at January 09, 2009 04:43 PM (EquV1) 106
10. Sea Weevils 9. Chipmunks of the sea 8. Bottle-nosed hamsters 7. Rainbow Beavers 6. Sea Chimps 5. Orangushark 4. Two-finned Quail 3. Horseshoe Bunnies 2. Humpback Chickadees 1. Octokeets Posted by: Sen. Gov. E. Buzz Miller, PhD at January 09, 2009 04:44 PM (sf4Oe) 107
Let's call them "Sea Pussy(cat)" Then guys will eat them all the time! That has not been my experience. Posted by: that fat girl (you know) at January 09, 2009 04:54 PM (knHvu) Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 05:03 PM (iafWn) 109
How about, "Floating Meals"?
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 05:07 PM (iafWn) 110
As a Concerned Crustacean, I'm apalled at all of the fishist commentary in this thread. Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 09, 2009 05:21 PM (ZGhSv) 111
One kitteh,
Two kitteh, Red kitteh, Blue kitteh. See pussea, Smell pussea, Taste pussea, [nope, not going there...] Posted by: Tom M at January 09, 2009 05:38 PM (d6bNm) Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 09, 2009 05:44 PM (MKNSy) 113
Before many of you were even conceived in the back seat of your old man's Ford Econoline van, Exxon was spending millions to come up with their new corporate name from Esso. They almost had a name chosen and were ready to roll it out but found out that it meant "Outhouse" in Farsi (Iran). I would have gone with it and let the mullahs sweat all the peasants demanding food service.
GM rolled out the Chevy Nova in 1965 (changed from Chevy II) but had to call it the Caribe in Latin American countries because Nova translated to "it doesn't go" in Spanish. Truth in labelling but it doesn't sell cars. Names are everything. Hitler's father changed the name from Schicklgruber. I don't imagine he would have taken over Europe had the masses had to shout Heil Schicklgruber. I suggest that the Republicans change their name to the Limpdicks and change their symbol from an elephant to a turtle. I suggest that Israel change their name to Justin. That's the name of a whispy Jewish kid who posts Kos diaries from a laptop in a dingy coffee shop. Who would scream bloody murder about the atrocities of Justin? Posted by: kbdabear at January 09, 2009 06:07 PM (miw86) 114
So, landkittens get to eat seakittens and big seakittens get to eat little seakittens but I don't get to eat me some seakittens? Their ploy to get me to stop eating fish has actually made me interested in what real kittens taste like. Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 09, 2009 06:40 PM (Nwbo8) 115
Well, this IS about on a par with the intellectual capacity of PETA, I guess.
Posted by: irongrampa at January 09, 2009 06:45 PM (ud5dN) 116
As if human beings have ever had a problem with cute food.
Lamb, anyone? I've got some leftover rabbit stew in the fridge... Posted by: lauraw at January 09, 2009 07:17 PM (DbybK) 117
Lamb, anyone? I've got some leftover rabbit stew in the fridge...
Wabbit season, duck season, wabbit season.. I had to shoot one of them Posted by: Senator Elmer Fudd at January 09, 2009 07:25 PM (miw86) 118
Was it PETA's idea to call manatees sea cows? If it was that was massive failure. I never even considered eating before that. I have one on the grill and 3 in the freezer now. Yummy! Posted by: Bullwinkle at January 09, 2009 07:28 PM (tq6GW) 119
#113: the "no va" thing is an urban legend. Hispanics treated "Nova" as a single word, just as Americans bought the Ford "Aspire" with no fear of the wrath of snakes.
Posted by: Ian S. at January 09, 2009 07:56 PM (pg/HS) 120
So I guess we have to call the NYT sea kitten wrap now. Although bird cage liner and dog trainer are still safe nicknames for the time being.
Posted by: PA Cat at January 09, 2009 08:17 PM (Oc7bG) 121
Wow, those people at PenisTAstesyummy are a lot of fun. I just registered and posted over there as pseudonym Bonefish, instructing them that I won't be eating them as my fellow sea kittens inform me that vegans taste like okra. And ass.
Posted by: pistolero at January 09, 2009 09:41 PM (m9n7Y) 122
119 #113: the "no va" thing is an urban legend. Hispanics treated "Nova" as a single word, just as Americans bought the Ford "Aspire" with no fear of the wrath of snakes.
That's a good point. But "Jennifer Lopez" still means "incredibly huge ass" in any language, right?? Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 09:57 PM (iafWn) 123
I'm confused. Do you pet sea kittens or eat them?
Posted by: norm at January 09, 2009 10:06 PM (bj+B0) 124
You pet sea kittens, eat sea pussies...
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 09, 2009 10:37 PM (iafWn) 125
Now I'll never get that smell out of the sea kittens! Posted by: G*d at January 09, 2009 11:47 PM (55TIb) 126
I saw a couple of quotes that were interesting.
The first person asked, "How can you find pleasure in shooting from behind cover at poor creatures browsing on the edge of a wood, innocent, defenseless, and unsuspecting? It's really pure murder!" The second person decried the "unbearable torture and suffering in animal experiments" and condemned "those who still think they can treat animals as inanimate property." Sounds kinda like PETA, doesn't it? Person number one, according to Jonah Goldberg in his book Liberal Fascism, is Heinrich Himmler. Person number two is Hermann Goering. Posted by: Steffan at January 10, 2009 12:36 AM (CjKAr) 127
@113: Yeah, nova means "doesn't go" in Spanish. Know what it means in English? An explosion. Which is the worse marketing?
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 10, 2009 12:56 AM (8MuSQ) 128
And can we call PETA what they realy are? STUPID
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at January 10, 2009 01:01 AM (twKGt) 129
All I could think of (when I went over and read the site, to find out if this was actually real) was their line "nobody would kill a kitten, right?" -- and this old internet pic "Every time a person masturbates, God kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens." PETA, my dears, I believe if this is the case, kittens are getting killed by the thousands around the globe as I type. Try again, and better luck next time in your Derridian/Foucaultian attempt to change the language.
Posted by: unknown jane at January 10, 2009 01:29 AM (wyaGP) 130
Kittens love to play with string, right? Then we can play with sea kittens by tying some string on a pole and putting it in the water.
Posted by: Aaron at January 10, 2009 01:58 AM (wz3KI) 131
idiocy over Fishkill, NY.
Indeed. The generic "kill" ending on names so ubiquitous in parts of NY dates back to the original Dutch settlers in the region. In Dutch, a kill is a stream or creek. Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 10, 2009 08:34 AM (Z0HFQ) 132
Here kitty kitty kitty ... I've got this nice sauce for you.
I think we should stop fishing for a while -- start shooting, gutting and frying up PETA buffalo. Since they're vegans, it will taste like tofu even after being fried in lard but you can't get any greener than eating PETA buffalo. Try some hot sauce to cover the dumb-as-a-stump aftertaste. /being sarcastic, just in case Posted by: Arnold at January 10, 2009 09:12 AM (oPAYR) 133
126
I saw a couple of quotes that were interesting.
The first person asked, "How can you find pleasure in shooting from behind cover at poor creatures browsing on the edge of a wood, innocent, defenseless, and unsuspecting? It's really pure murder!" The second person decried the "unbearable torture and suffering in animal experiments" and condemned "those who still think they can treat animals as inanimate property." Sounds kinda like PETA, doesn't it? Person number one, according to Jonah Goldberg in his book Liberal Fascism, is Heinrich Himmler. Person number two is Hermann Goering. Ouch! Posted by: Dang at January 10, 2009 01:50 PM (Y5LIx) 134
Hitler was a animal loving vegatarian and a gun control freak and the nazis were animal rights wackos its no doubt tthat PETA would applead what the nazis did
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