Morons Get Results

This morning, I was worried that "F*** You, Penguin" (that's how it's listed in the nominations, I haven't developed an aversion to the f-bomb overnight) was trailing those corporate suck-ups over at "I Can Haz Cheezeburger" by a couple hundred votes. I don't know why I bothered. Now that the Moron Nation has been notified that the awesomest pet blog ever in the entire history of civilization is in contention for Best Pet Blog of 2008, "F*** You, Penguin" has picked up 45% of the approximately 1600 votes cast in this category.

You guys & gals are great, but don't think this thing is over just yet. It's a long road stretching out from today to January 13, and you NEED to vote as often as you can for this visionary blog. Vote from home, vote from work, get to work a half hour early so you can log onto all your co-workers' computers and use their vote as well. If your grandma is sort of clueless about what the *** symbols on the nominations page mean, you might consider telling her that the blog's called "Find You, Penguin" and that it's a spinoff of "Where's Waldo" where kids can go to find the penguin hidden in a big cartoon picture. Tell her that the guy who runs the site is really cranky about copyright infringement, and he wouldn't let them use the full name of the site in the awards process, so they HAD to use the asterisks. She'll vote for it fer sure - grandmas are susceptible to cute animals used as learning tools. And she probably won't go there anyway. Old people rarely use the internet. They're too busy telling people about how, back in their day, postcards cost a dime and you were lucky if you could get your milking machine parts ordered from the Sears & Roebuck's catalog before Uncle Art used that part of the catalog for his outhouse paperwork.

(...and while you're at it, you might want to vote in some of the other categories too. You know, as long as you're already there and all that.)

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at 12:39 PM

Comments

1 I love Fuck You Penguin more than I can say.

Posted by: alexthechick at January 06, 2009 12:49 PM (SHHaV)

Pure.Stinking.Genious.

Fucking cute loving animals. Damn them all to animal hell. The baby ones too, most of all, dangit.

Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:54 PM (GiRra)

Coffee is for morons.

Fuck you penguin.... you know you want this fucking poncho.

Posted by: Eleven at January 06, 2009 12:59 PM (7DB+a)

4 ACORN will make sure the voting is fair.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 06, 2009 01:00 PM (kLWtB)

5 Hey! Let's watch it there. I'm old - 69 - and a grandpa. And I knew right off that F*** didn't mean Find. It means Fool. And, I've been using the Internet tubes since they started. We had a hookup in the outhouse right next to the Sears catalog.

Posted by: Jim at January 06, 2009 01:02 PM (JqinU)

We had a hookup in the outhouse right next to the Sears catalog.

We had Spiegel and WiFi so we were able to use our laptops in the outhouse without having to bother with wires. Spiegel had better brassier models.

Posted by: Vic at January 06, 2009 01:18 PM (f6os6)

7 Congrats and all praise to F*** You, Penguin. Delighted to see it crushing the corporate lackey blogs of the Big Pet machine. Any chance I can likewise harness the power of the Moronosphere in pursuit of my Best Business Blog bid? I'm currently mired in 2nd place and need a similar, ahem, ace in the hole to get back on top.
<br/><br/>Suitably Flip: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-business-blog/

Posted by: Flip at January 06, 2009 01:22 PM (pWFVY)

Vote for Flip and Treacher (humor), morons!

Posted by: MamaAJ at January 06, 2009 01:39 PM (X6Zdh)

9 F*** You, Penguin is up to 51.9% of the votes cast in this category. Damn. If we'd just nominated F*** You, Penguin to be on the ticket with Sarah Palin this last November instead of Grandpa Simpson, maybe, just MAYBE we could have mobilized enough morons to pull them over the top to victory.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at January 06, 2009 01:56 PM (cdAdD)

10
Boring, Loring, Snoring, Flooring...who's boring? Me.
Have literally applied for every job on Monster that relates to my field, US and worldwide, over 100 last week.
No nut jobs on AoS to fight with.
Done with my chores (yes, dear).
No pron, please, don't need my soul thrown up on the roof where I can't reach it, thank you very much.
Boring, Boring, Boring.
Yes, I know Monster sucks. Supposedly the big monster puts a lot of money in antigun stuff. That kept me away for a long time. Finally, I decided I would use Monster, get a swinging job, make loads of money and buy even more guns than I already have (with me being a genuine man of the West, is a butt load).
So Monster, take that. And thanks for the easy apply thingy for jobs-way cool.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 06, 2009 01:58 PM (LVT6e)

I'm not sure if this has been flogged yet, but Best Australia or New Zealand Blog?

Tim Blair!!!!1!!1!!!eleventy

Posted by: iamfelix at January 06, 2009 02:01 PM (yfeAd)

One question, oh great master, I have six computers at home, but they all have same broadband connection. Can I vote on each computer? I have 20 here at work. Same question.

Kemp

Where do we vote for "cocksucker"? Just kidding.

Posted by: Kempermanx at January 06, 2009 02:08 PM (qvT/A)

13
Drudge has some poor schlub hanging upside down from a ski lift, without his trousers! Way, way sad, but kinda funny in a crappy way. Considering the type of people that ski at Vail and many skiers in general (worked a Park City ski lift one winter, killed my love of skiing), I'm not too sympathetic.

{Please insert cold weather male anatomy related jokes here}.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 06, 2009 02:11 PM (LVT6e)

Even if he was a jerk I'd still feel kinda bad. That just aint right.

Heh.

Posted by: Eleven at January 06, 2009 02:18 PM (7DB+a)

#13

The twit should have seen the seat was up, and he signed a release with his purchase of a lift ticket. Smoking Gun thinks he'll collect. I think a free lift ticket for life is the most he can expect.

Kemp

Posted by: Kempermanx at January 06, 2009 02:23 PM (qvT/A)

16 Kempermanx -

The system will lock you out after the first few votes. A friend of mine tried to throw me a few votes from multiple computers on the same local network yesterday and was rebuffed. Aylward mentioned this on the award site yesterday, as a new means of thwarting vote spammers.

Posted by: Flip at January 06, 2009 02:25 PM (pWFVY)

17
Kemp,
When I was at Park City (Utah), a woman was in one of the gondolas (little enclosed cars on a really long ski lift). She had wedged her torso thru the slide up window above the door and was leaning out snapping pictures. The car swung, her weight moved against the door, little chain thingy snapped. She and the door swung out, her feet went up and she slid out the window. (Skis aren't worn in the gondos). Splat in soft snow thirty feet down. Broke her arm. Could have been much, much worse. Sued, Won.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 06, 2009 02:38 PM (LVT6e)

18 Just went to the other pet site in contention. Still dry-heaving. What a sick, plasticky excuse for a website. Built for lonely spinsters and those gawd-awful fakey fake happy-pappy female papsmear coworkers. Ugh.

I'll take Fuck You, Penguin, any day.

And no, you can't haz no fucking award.

Posted by: Stitches at January 06, 2009 02:42 PM (KyqYb)

19 Sounds like somebody's got a case o'the Mondays.

Posted by: fakey fake happy-pappy female papsmear coworker at January 06, 2009 02:48 PM (7DB+a)

20 Where's the box from the 13th Precinct? Somebody get Coke Stevenson!

Honestly, if there is one bullshit Internet fad I couldn't give less of a shit about it's these stupid webbies. Oh! Who's going to win? Some stupid blog with pictures of people's cats or some other stupid blog with other pictures of people's cats? I can feel myself clawing at my eczema from the stress already.

Of course, icanhaspolitics (or whatever it's called) is a total BDS-driven, Obama-fellatiating shitfest, so I'll go for the other one.

Posted by: Beppo at January 06, 2009 02:52 PM (Ka5Jh)

21
Thanks, both of you, for putting that in my head now. It's set to its own music and everything. 'fakey fakey, happy pappy, female papsmear, something something.' AAAAAGGGGHHH.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at January 06, 2009 02:54 PM (LVT6e)

22 Ohs nos..we's loosing!

Posted by: I Can Haz Cheezeburger Blog at January 06, 2009 03:00 PM (WQqt3)

23 Vote from home, vote from work, get to work a half hour early so you can log onto all your co-workers' computers and use their vote as well.

What? do you think we're Al Franken and ACORN??

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 06, 2009 03:37 PM (1hM1d)

24 It looks like Wonkette hired ACORN for Best Moonbat Blog. The wailing of the screwed Nutroot blogs will be precious. Anna Marie promises exclusives on Al Franken's anal sex trysts with Barbara Boxer if she wins..

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 04:03 PM (miw86)

25 Fuck You, Penguin should use the old National Lampoon Campaign..

"If you don't vote for Fuck You Penguin, we'll kill this dog"

http://www.marksverylarge.com/images/7301cover_s.jpg

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 04:11 PM (miw86)

26 Don't forget to vote for Wesley Crusher as Best Celebrity blog so Margaret Choad doesn't win. Wesley promises us that he'll tell us all about the time Picard let him shave him all over, and what it feels like to take a Borg up the ass.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 04:14 PM (miw86)

kbdabear, your last two posts were completely over the top!

God, I love this site and its morons (*sniff*)! ValuRite for all and I'm buying!

Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 04:20 PM (GiRra)

28 Anybody who voted yesterday tried to vote today yet? I'm pretty sure that I voted before 2:30 pm MST, but the site's still not letting me vote today.

Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 04:33 PM (GiRra)

2,347 votes as of 3:42pm CST, and 'da Penguin is leading with 56.0% of the votes.

Pour it on, people.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at January 06, 2009 04:43 PM (dyz/7)

okay finally able to vote again.

Looks like Jim Treacher in Humor category could use a shout out to the Moronosphere. Good stuff.

Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 05:25 PM (GiRra)

31 How can Day by Day be so far behind for Best Cartoon? Nobody can draw a woman's ass in jeans like Chris Muir

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:26 PM (miw86)

32 It looks like Captain Ed needs help now due to surging Andi...

Posted by: The Deacon at January 06, 2009 06:29 PM (7eTzA)

33 AoSHQ is ahead of LGF by 351 votes as of this posting. Time to send some folks over there to use the Intelligent Design stick to poke the hornets and distract them.

AoSHQ MUST win folks, because the runner up will be parodied by me with another Hitler in the Bunker with funny subtitles clip on Youtube.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:32 PM (miw86)

34 I voted for No Quarter for Best Political coverage. Yeh, they're liberals but they're PUMAs who dug up a lot of great stories that the rest of us picked up from them. They also played nice with AoSHQ and Hot Air, and they defended Sarah Palin with a zeal that many weenie RINOs wouldn't manage.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:36 PM (miw86)

35 At least Perez Hilton won't come near Best Gossip Blog. Annie Baby's NBC ban lasts one day and he won't win. Hey Sweetie, "You've had a Bad Day"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:40 PM (miw86)

36 I weep for civilization if there are really so many Andrew Sullivan fanboys...

Posted by: The Deacon at January 06, 2009 06:41 PM (7eTzA)

37 Ezra Levant is leading by 98 points for Best Canadian Blog. Go there and show him some love. If it weren't for Ezra's "Obsolete Man" stand against Canada's Ministry of Good Thoughts star chamber, Canuck bloggers would be reduced to "tips for teaching hockey to a muslim"

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:45 PM (miw86)

38 Get over there and put in a surge for No Pasaran for best European blog. Anybody who has Che in a Mickey Mouse hat as a logo is my kind of guy. Nobody reports on the car-b-ques like he does either

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:49 PM (miw86)

39 "cjane enjoy it" is doing a Wonkette stuff the box trick. Instapundit is a distant second. When I see a "cjanelanche", I'll believe that one

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:53 PM (miw86)

40 I heartily endorse McClatchy Watch for Best Up and Coming blog. It's a tight 3-way race, give him a boost

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:56 PM (miw86)

41 Pweeze votes for us, cuz then we's gets cheezeburgers!

Posted by: I Can Haz Cheezeburger Blog at January 06, 2009 07:01 PM (WQqt3)

42 PWEEEEEZZZEEEE!!!

Posted by: I Can Haz Cheezeburger Blog at January 06, 2009 07:01 PM (WQqt3)

43 Hey Ace, Russ, Gabriel, Ghengis, whoever isn't stealing beer from the fridge or playing GTA IV, please check your tip inbox for the Fuck You Penguin get out the vote promotion I emailed. It's under my RoadRunner email account.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 07:25 PM (miw86)

44 Anyone else voting for Nice Deb's blog in small blogs? I did. She's one of us, albeit on medication, but still...

Posted by: Enter sandman at January 06, 2009 09:07 PM (zxaA2)

45 I guess not. Oh, well...

Posted by: Enter sandman at January 06, 2009 09:43 PM (zxaA2)

46 44 Anyone else voting for Nice Deb's blog in small blogs? I did. She's one of us, albeit on medication, but still...

She got my vote. Chris Muir's Day by Day deserves our help too. He's not only on the Republican side, but he draws Sam and Jan in ways that give me Betty and Veronica fantasies..

Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 09:55 PM (miw86)

47 Your votes for us, cuz then we's gets cheezeburgers!

PUDDDEEEE PWEEEEEZZZZZZEEEE VOTES FOR US!

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