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| Australian Kotex Commercial Tells Women to Take Care of Their BeaversStill trolling for something on Feminsting to make fun of. Ran across this. They're positive about the commercial, it seems. They don't seem to have a consistent rule about when it's okay to, um, reduce women to their sexual organs, or whatever. Sometimes it's the worst thing in the world. Other times it's empowering. Their reactions never make any sort of sense but they're always furiously confident about them. So, this one's okay, and you're an anti-woman reactionary if you don't like it.Comments1
So, is this like saying "Bitch" in either a patriarchal, controlling manner, or the self-affirming grrrrrlpower manner?
Posted by: Techie at January 06, 2009 11:36 AM (906oR) 2
I'm worried about the Beaver.
Posted by: Mrs. Cleaver at January 06, 2009 11:38 AM (ATBwB) 3
God bless the Aussies! They don't pussyfoot around do they? I'm placing another order for a Wicked Weasel for the wife. Posted by: EC at January 06, 2009 11:40 AM (mAhn3) Posted by: Wymmyn's Sensitivity at January 06, 2009 11:40 AM (7365r) 5
Forget empowering, this is the stupidest commercial I've ever seen.
If I ever get the urge to parade my beaver around I'll call Macy's. Posted by: dragonlady474 at January 06, 2009 11:42 AM (qiCGV) 6
Aussies are as weird as femnists. And no ever expected femnists to make sense.
Posted by: katya at January 06, 2009 11:43 AM (oRJZj) 7
Kate Beckinsale could fake an almost Aussie accent. I'd like to see her commercial.
Posted by: Roy at January 06, 2009 11:43 AM (vcbm0) 8
This is the stupid shit where the most popular girl decides what is cool and all the others jump on board. Kind of like junior high when everybody wore a yarn bracelet or college when everyone got tattoos. Lockstep individualism.
Posted by: huerfano at January 06, 2009 11:43 AM (knHvu) 9
Wicked Weasel dot com. One of the best non pron sites around.
Posted by: MAJHAM at January 06, 2009 11:44 AM (WvC5A) 10
Looking for consistency from "radical" feminists is a losing effort. If it entertains you, go ahead, but if your sanity depends on their consistency, you're mental and spiritual toast. When feminists refused to support war against the kind of people who will bury a 14-year-old girl up to her neck, then stone her to death for the crime of having a crush on someone, that's when they lost me--totally and finally. Posted by: April at January 06, 2009 11:44 AM (2B3NC) 11
If I ever get the urge to parade my beaver around I'll call Macy's. Begging the good lady's pardon, but what does Macy's have that does that? Posted by: EC at January 06, 2009 11:45 AM (mAhn3) 12
Why don't we get commercials like that in the U.S.?
Posted by: Vic at January 06, 2009 11:45 AM (f6os6) 13
OMG! I just went to their website and it's total hilarity for chicks, and maybe you dudes too. There's a place to 'Play with U', how 'down there' works, giving 'them' names...it's...it's...i'm speechless actually.
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 11:45 AM (GiRra) 14
Wicked Weasel dot com. One of the best non pron sites around. Makes a great surprise anniversary gift. Posted by: EC at January 06, 2009 11:46 AM (mAhn3) 15
If I ever get the urge to parade my beaver around I'll call Macy's. Begging the good lady's pardon, but what does Macy's have that does that? Uhhh....they have a parade? Posted by: dragonlady474 at January 06, 2009 11:46 AM (qiCGV) 16
why am I reminded of CaddyShack?
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 11:47 AM (GiRra) 17
All this time and I never knew what "Down Under" really meant.
Posted by: Fresh Air at January 06, 2009 11:47 AM (oSULw) 18
#13
Haven't you seen the Vagina Monologues? You're supposed to have daily conversations with "down there" or something. Then you go seduce an lesbian teenager or something. I dunno, I was kinda drifting in and out. Posted by: Techie at January 06, 2009 11:48 AM (906oR) 19
Beaver was a good euphemism before the bare look became popular. Now it just confuses the young guys. Posted by: polynikes at January 06, 2009 11:49 AM (m2CN7) 20
I'm beginning to wonder if the vagina is special in that every woman has about the same stuff down there.
Probably not. Mine has never been angry, or sad, or any of that stupid anthropomorphic shit from the Vagina Monologues. Most of the time it's about as interesting as my spleen. Posted by: HeatherRadish at January 06, 2009 11:50 AM (fGDhl) Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 11:50 AM (Y5LIx) 22
Uhhh....they have a parade? Oh...I thought you meant that you could wear something from Macy's that "paraded" a beaver around...
...or something. Posted by: EC at January 06, 2009 11:53 AM (mAhn3) 23
Vagina Monologues?! I must have missed that class that day/week/semester.
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 11:53 AM (GiRra) 24
I'm beginning to wonder if the vagina is special in that every woman has about the same stuff down there.
If they didn't, morons would get lost. Posted by: A Plover In Every Pot! at January 06, 2009 11:54 AM (wFYko) 25
Hehe, I was thinking of Caddy Shack too. It was kind of a funny commercial, in a really stupid way. Vaginas are the great equalizers for feminists, because unlike breasts they are not out in the open for everyone to judge. They are not however, all alike (at least that's what the men I know have told me; I haven't had this conversation with any lesbians although I suppose they'd say similar) -- but they can be lied about, aka. they're all the same. Hence, being an organ that one doesn't necessarily have to tell the truth about, and which the general population will (most likely) not know the truth about (unlike boobs, which have transparency as to their business), vaginas are the feminists favorite lady part. Which sort of makes vaginas like the housing crisis or the workings of government or academia. Sorta makes sense doesn't it? Posted by: unknown jane at January 06, 2009 11:54 AM (wyaGP) 26
Can we pet the beaver? Studies show I'll live longer.
Posted by: Jimmy at January 06, 2009 11:55 AM (/Ft4q) 27
I think the two guys staring at her at the beach were taxidermists. They looked like they wanted to stuff her beaver. Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 11:56 AM (Y5LIx) 28
20 mine's silent too, unless there's purring with the stroke of the hubby's hand (h/t Uncle Ted Nugent) Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 11:56 AM (GiRra) 29
Actually, that commercial is racist and lookist. No women of color, no old women, no women who don't conform to the "patriarchy's" vision of what attractive is (slim with a nice rack and can). So yeah, based off of the objections to the parachute commercial (see above), I'd say this is bad. But I'm cursed by my consistency. Posted by: Ed at January 06, 2009 11:58 AM (VFkb6) 30
I think the two guys staring at her at the beach were taxidermists. They looked like they wanted to stuff her beaver. I saw that too; they were drooling more over her fur then the girl...um, wait a sec
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 11:59 AM (GiRra) 31
Woman at the beach: "My beaver doesn't have a nose." Man at the beach: "How does it smell?" Woman at the beach: "Awful." Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 11:59 AM (Y5LIx) 32
"Still trolling for something on Feminsting to make fun of. Ran across this."
Have they gone apoplectic over Dennis Prager's third marriage yet? I was going to check myself, but the thought of all that armpit hair just sent me reeling. Posted by: Kensington at January 06, 2009 12:02 PM (fhJCy) 33
Kitties are all the same. Posted by: kevlarchick at January 06, 2009 12:02 PM (TNuqz) 34
Since when do we give our hoo-hoo's names?! Did I miss something in high school or is this an Aussie thing?
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:04 PM (GiRra) 35
So it's OK to have beavers again? Wait, I thought we were supposed to shave all that shit off so that men weren't offended by unsightly hair. I mean the only reason it is nicknamed "beaver" is for the hair, right? Because otherwise my vagina in no way resembles a real beaver. I don't know, maybe I can fell trees and build a dam with the thing, nobody ever taught me that in the "now you are a woman" classes I had to sit through in elementary and junior high school. Damn it is so fucking confusing to be a woman sometimes. Posted by: ParanoidInSeattle at January 06, 2009 12:07 PM (AJ4xq) 36
Have you looked at some of the names over at the website?!! Box, beaver, snatch, it get those. Front bum...wtf is this and why would anybody EVER call it a front bum? That's just not right in my book, but then again perhaps this is really a nickname generated by the males; is there somekind of turn on in this one that I'm missing?
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:14 PM (GiRra) 37
Wow. This conversation alone is why AoSHQ should be voted Best Conservative Blog Evah.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 06, 2009 12:14 PM (vkmUf) Posted by: CUS at January 06, 2009 12:14 PM (wOGfT) Posted by: wiserbud at January 06, 2009 12:14 PM (wWwJR) 40
Will the next ad show a beaver drinking from a douche?
Posted by: markytom at January 06, 2009 12:15 PM (gCiQX) 41
Kitties are all the same. I'm sitting here watching Barbara Milkulski being sworn in at the Senate and I refuse to believe this is true. If it is, my will to live is gone. Posted by: JackStraw at January 06, 2009 12:15 PM (VW9/y) 42
Wet Seal Barking!
Posted by: Trubador at January 06, 2009 12:16 PM (MlrAE) 43
You laugh,
Did I ever tell you about the time I trained a beaver to ride a bicycle while juggling ping-pong balls? Posted by: franksalterego at January 06, 2009 12:17 PM (GKyIE) 44
When feminists refused to support war against the kind of people who will bury a 14-year-old girl up to her neck, then stone her to death for the crime of having a crush on someone, that's when they lost me--totally and finally. Yup... Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 06, 2009 12:18 PM (E6GUg) Posted by: Fish at January 06, 2009 12:18 PM (CG+cG) 46
"So it's OK to have beavers again?"
My rule of thumb? If it’s good enough for 70s porn, it’s good enough for me. Posted by: Kensington at January 06, 2009 12:19 PM (fhJCy) 47
Anyone else get the feeling that this post is largely about ferreting out the female morons?
Ace, you're a sneaky bastard. Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 06, 2009 12:19 PM (InMdt) 48
any bets on these "womyn" getting offended at that trojan condom commercial that shows men as pigs until one gets the condom then the woman leaves with him?
Posted by: buzzion at January 06, 2009 12:19 PM (lCm/E) 49
buzzion--linky on the trojan commercial, esp if the guys are hot, please. Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:21 PM (GiRra) 50
Beavers have big teeth.
Posted by: Javems at January 06, 2009 12:21 PM (hq71Y) 51
@41: You should see the next tampon ad. It features Barbara Mikulski, Helen Thomas and Judge Judy...
Posted by: chemjeff at January 06, 2009 12:21 PM (vkmUf) 52
I mean the only reason it is nicknamed "beaver" is for the hair, right? Kinda Miss Paranoid. It has a lot to do with the tail. Posted by: Fish at January 06, 2009 12:22 PM (CG+cG) 53
any ad with Helen Thomas is just wrong in so, so many ways
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:23 PM (GiRra) Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 12:26 PM (Y5LIx) 55
Wymmyn's Sensitivity: Ace, once again, sad to say, you have metaphorically commited rape.
Now, I don't care if you wear mini-skirts. I don't care if you wear Dungarees. I don't care if you're good at basketball, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can rest assured that every one of you, at some point, is going to be raped. Posted by: Jazz at January 06, 2009 12:37 PM (hnq5i) 56
fucking stupid focus-group bastards. Fucking cost me the best fucking job I've been offered in years.
Posted by: Jerry Mathers at January 06, 2009 12:41 PM (IHbof) 57
So it's OK to have beavers again?
According to Fleshbot, the in look now is neatly trimmed bush above, nothing on the sides. Posted by: Farmer_Joe at January 06, 2009 12:42 PM (z4es9) 58
Mikulski: "Sometimes the Senate can be in session for hours and hours. I don't always have time to take care of my cooter properly. That's why I always use Acme Feminine Hygiene Spray at the start of every day. Acme gives full-time relief from smelly snatch for a full 24 hours." Thomas: "Even when I spend a long day on the beat covering Republican scandals, I always take time to treat my honey pot right. Acme is the brand preferred by my beaver. I always keep a spare bottle under my left tit so it's in within easy reach of Li'l Muffy." Judge Judy: "Sentencing brats to 20 years' hard labor can make for a tiring day on the bench. Sometimes it can get a little stinky under the judge's robes, yaknowwhatImean? That's why Judy's vajayjay only gets Acme. It works the best. NOW SHUT UP AND PUT ACME IN YOUR BOX!" Posted by: chemjeff at January 06, 2009 12:43 PM (vkmUf) 59
linky on the trojan commercial, esp if the guys are hot, please You don't remember seeing it? Not really any guys in it. Just a guy and only after the pig goes and gets a condom. No clue on the quality of his hotness though. The girl isn't bad looking though. Just search youtube for "trojan condom evolve" and you'll find it. Posted by: buzzion at January 06, 2009 12:44 PM (Lrsi6) 60
I hate it when they call us Beavers.
Posted by: Thelma and Louise at January 06, 2009 12:46 PM (7FA9S) 61
As with everything in Australia, things are just bigger down there. That chic's beaver was humongous.
Posted by: Tattoo de Plane at January 06, 2009 12:53 PM (EJmQG) 62
Semi-On-Topic: Wynona's Big Brown Beaver Posted by: Sharkman at January 06, 2009 12:55 PM (69J41) 63
So wait, which one of those guys is going to have sex with the beaver?
Posted by: Mr. Skulduggery at January 06, 2009 12:57 PM (AvoVn) Posted by: Warden at January 06, 2009 12:57 PM (KXbGD) 65
Vaginas are just freaky scary.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 06, 2009 12:58 PM (eiOZw) 66
So wait, which one of those guys is going to have sex with the beaver?
Looked like he was more interested in eating it. Posted by: wiserbud at January 06, 2009 01:00 PM (IHbof) 67
Kitties are all the same.
Could...not...disagree...more. Yes, actually the 'kitties' are indeed all the same. What they are attached to are different. Posted by: CUS at January 06, 2009 01:06 PM (wOGfT) 68
Heh heh clueless feminists. I banged my wife on the counter while waiting for the dinner she was made me to cook. And it was HER IDEA!
Desert before dinner. Hell. Fucking. Yeah. Posted by: Melodic Metal at January 06, 2009 01:09 PM (0TU9n) 69
Notice that just about all the women in this ad have small tits.
It's quite simple, really. Ad that features women more attractive than the feminist = "sexist". Ad that features women less attractive than the feminist = "empowering". That's why Sarah "horse face, no rack" Jessica Parker's slutfest was so popular with them. Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at January 06, 2009 01:26 PM (LgmaN) 70
That commercial would have been ten times cooler had they have used a Tuna Wookie instead.
Posted by: Blazer at January 06, 2009 01:30 PM (+FzLa) 71
No one wants to hear about what you and your wife are up to. Next time, replace "wife" with "babysitter", "goat" or "Helen Thomas". We're all about the sanctity of marriage here.
Posted by: spongeworthy at January 06, 2009 01:31 PM (rplL3) 72
I'll talk about Prager's third marriage: I enjoy listening to him when he is talking about Israel or politics, but when he goes into his happiness and men/women relationship schtick, I roll my eyes. Not surprising to find out he is on wife #3. Not impressed. Posted by: A Plover In Every Pot! at January 06, 2009 01:34 PM (wFYko) Posted by: Mr. Beaver at January 06, 2009 01:39 PM (ATBwB) 74
Did she just give her beaver a box of Redbull or something?
Posted by: Unclefacts at January 06, 2009 01:46 PM (M+Vfm) 75
Mr. Sullivan is not a beaver...he's a front bum. They (the kitties, not the Sullivans) are all the same -- just not equal. Jim Crow lives on in the world of boobs and beavers. Although most men will say that the best they've ever encountered belongs to whomever they are honeying up at the time -- perhaps it is some strange space-time, bio-chemical transfiguration....or the men are lying out their back bum's at the time.
Posted by: unknown jane at January 06, 2009 01:54 PM (wyaGP) Posted by: ushie at January 06, 2009 01:55 PM (XWJh5) 77
ward, i think you were a little hard on the beaver last night.
Posted by: june cleaver at January 06, 2009 01:57 PM (FO+YO) 78
Yes, actually the 'kitties' are indeed all the same. What they are attached to are different. Some kitties have warts the size of dimes and more yeast than a San Francisco bakery. C'mon over and check it out. Posted by: Helen Thomas at January 06, 2009 02:02 PM (Y5LIx) 79
Nice beaver.
Posted by: Lt. Frank Drebin, Police Squad at January 06, 2009 02:03 PM (LvEFt) 80
You said that right LT Frank
Posted by: navyvet at January 06, 2009 02:09 PM (IaWv8) 81
See, Ace, this is why I voted for AoSHQ today for best conservative blog.
As for the commercial, I just think it will be easier to use that hand-held mirror now....sure was hard to leverage properly before. Detached beavers are much more practical. Posted by: Twinks at January 06, 2009 02:13 PM (KGbOi) Posted by: Kempermanx at January 06, 2009 02:16 PM (qvT/A) 83
Front bum...wtf is this and why would anybody EVER
call it a front bum? That's just not right in my book, but then again
perhaps this is really a nickname generated by the males; is there
somekind of turn on in this one that I'm missing?
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 12:14 PM (GiRra) Also, a female Aussie friend of mine says that "fanny" means the cooch over there as opposed to ass. Posted by: ol-dirty-/b/tard at January 06, 2009 02:41 PM (IoUF1) 84
Also, a female Aussie friend of mine says that "fanny" means the cooch over there as opposed to ass.
It has something to do with crossing the equator. I'm a scientist. Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 02:58 PM (Y5LIx) 85
It has something to do with crossing the equator. I'm a scientist
Do they hold “shellback” ceremonies for their beavers where the polly-wogs have to crawl over on their hands and knees to kiss the biggest hairiest beaver? Posted by: Vic at January 06, 2009 03:09 PM (f6os6) 86
Yes. However, crossing the equator from south to north involves a different ceremony called The Beaver Meets a Very Naughty Dentist and the exact events of the ceremony vary since they are at the discretion of the captain of the vessel. I also found this in one of many volumes in my library... Admiral Nelson's wife was named Fanny and his introduction of her to the Australian Ambassador caused a most embarrassing predicament as it immediately set the Ambassador to masturbating in a most furious manner. Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 03:31 PM (Y5LIx) 87
According to Fleshbot, the in look now is neatly trimmed bush above, nothing on the sides.
Now you have me wondering what they mean when they're in a hair salon and request "just a little off the sides" Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 03:35 PM (miw86) 88
I'm placing another order for a Wicked Weasel for the wife.
Dude, should I read that as I don't have a Wicked Weasel to give? I pretty sure it's standard equipment. You could consult the owners manual... Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at January 06, 2009 03:35 PM (1hM1d) 89
The fanny is the cooch/hoo-hoo, the equator mixes everthing up...sigh. I suddenly don't feel very in-the-know anymore. But I don't need a fucking caddyshacking beaver to tell me what products to buy, dammit. end rant.
Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 03:36 PM (GiRra) 90
I always thought that my .380 Browning, my M4, and being a Soldier gave me more empowerment than my vagina ever did.
Posted by: sfcmac at January 06, 2009 03:38 PM (5Vq8T) 91
Haven't you seen the Vagina Monologues? You're supposed to have daily conversations with "down there" or something.
"Hellllooooo, la la la.. I'm as slippery as an eeellll... la la la.. hellooooo" Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 03:38 PM (miw86) Posted by: C in Az at January 06, 2009 03:38 PM (GiRra) Posted by: sfcmac at January 06, 2009 03:41 PM (5Vq8T) Posted by: Trubador at January 06, 2009 03:54 PM (MlrAE) Posted by: sfcmac at January 06, 2009 03:56 PM (5Vq8T) 96
I thought that beaver was rolling a joint at the table.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 06, 2009 04:01 PM (ZGhSv) 97
Where's the beaver dam reference ?
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 06, 2009 04:06 PM (d0YiG) Posted by: Dave C at January 06, 2009 04:12 PM (c4npM) 99
Unlike breasts--which cause the gals at Feministing to shriek, most of the time. Because breasts can be kind of different, maybe, and ergo that divides the Sisterhood of Solidarity. Divides. Lifts. And separates. Not unites. Posted by: andycanuck at January 06, 2009 04:26 PM (55TIb) 100
Wait a minute. I thought Wynonna's beaver was red, not brown. And make no mistake, not all beavers are created equal. I've seen some not just pretty, but downright beautiful, beavers. And I've seen some just plain plug-ugly beavers. And just like guys and their equipment, they come in all sizes, too. In some cases, you (the male) must perform the docking maneuver with great precision and deliberation. With some others, you could drive the Sixth Fleet through it and not scrape paint. Somehow I get the feeling that most of these "Feministing" coozes fall more into the latter categories. Too bad, so sad... Posted by: Cave Bear at January 06, 2009 04:33 PM (TE2OX) 101
87
According to Fleshbot, the in look now is neatly trimmed bush above, nothing on the sides.
Now you have me wondering what they mean when they're in a hair salon and request "just a little off the sides" "Leave the moustache, lose the sideburns." Posted by: Dang at January 06, 2009 04:54 PM (Y5LIx) 102
If my girlfriend thinks she can carry my balls around in her purse, then I should be able to keep her beaver on a leash, - can't I?
Posted by: Fritz at January 06, 2009 05:47 PM (3Bqev) Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:12 PM (miw86) 104
If this commercial is followed by an Outback commercial telling us to try the Bloomin' Onion, I'll be rather concerned
Posted by: kbdabear at January 06, 2009 06:14 PM (miw86) Posted by: Barak Obama at January 06, 2009 07:34 PM (iafWn) Posted by: naked teste spidey at January 06, 2009 08:28 PM (ZjKJC) 107
It's all about access...not naming rights.
Posted by: Asher at January 06, 2009 09:13 PM (fjWof) Posted by: Asher at January 06, 2009 09:14 PM (fjWof) Posted by: Helen Thomas at January 06, 2009 10:43 PM (Y5LIx) 110
I keep telling ya' - you're looking in the wrong places for this stuff! I recommend brownfemipower and racialicious for good racism/sexism combo idiocy.
Posted by: NSMC at January 07, 2009 03:36 PM (LcPv7) 111
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