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The Best of 2008

From the Washington Times. Man of the Year? David Petraeus.

Newcomer of the Year? Ah, so obvious.


Newcomer - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. The Republican vice-presidential candidate galvanized the conservative base and injected much-needed energy into John McCain's election campaign. Her grand entry at the Republican convention in which she squared off boldly and defiantly against her critics signaled the emergence of a new generation of conservatives. “What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick, she said to a roaring crowd. And a star was born.

They name Obama for the "Political Performance of the Year." Yes... but.

It's rather easy to deliver a great political performance when the press endlessly covers for your and refuses to report your gaffes and disgusting terrorist political supporters. It's like playing a trivia game being told ahead of time what all the questions and answers are.

If we're going to give Obama political performance of the year, then I think we also have to acknowledge the Harlem Globetrotters.

Ever notice that Globetrotters sometimes hide balls under their shirts, throw buckets of confetti in their opponents' faces, and routinely use props like trampolines to illegally score baskets?

Yeah. The refs don't notice either. Why, the refs give the Globetrotters such a complete and utter pass that you'd almost think they were working for the Globetrotter organization.

So yes, Obama defeated all his foes with the on-the-payroll refs giving a big assist.

But then, the Harlem Globetrotters' record against their perennial opponents -- the Washington Senators, I think -- is sixty-three thousand two hundred ninety four and zero.

That's a pretty good record, too. So why no love for the 'Trotters?


Eh: Did you follow the pop charts in 2008? Me either. My idea of a fresh new track is Suzanne Vega's Luca.

But here are the biggest hits of 2008 mashed up into one semi-coherent song:

I have no idea what the fuck that is. But if the Corner is hip enough to post it, I guess I have to pretend to be, too.


Posted by: Ace at 04:33 PM



Comments

1 What WORKS for Republicans...

Cuz mocking McCain, tho fun, only gets us so far...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 01, 2009 04:38 PM (DBS+D)

2
Ace, a better comparison is pro wrestling. The contest is staged, the publicity is ginned up, and the refs are bought off, . But some dopes think it's for real.

Posted by: Brown Line at January 01, 2009 04:38 PM (xYeJ1)

3 Barry is about to step into the ring.

He will soon find out that playtime is over.


Posted by: eman at January 01, 2009 04:45 PM (9jESx)

4 It's like playing a trivia game being told ahead of time what all the questions and answers are.

Obama is the Charles Van Doren of politics? Barack Van Doren?

Posted by: n00b at January 01, 2009 04:49 PM (ihgLV)

5 It's amazing that O! is still doing his vanishing act and he still hasn't really taken a firm stand on anything yet.  The last person I knew who refused to take stands on any given topic had a mental imbalance that prevented him from making decisions.  Everything he (obammie) originally ran on he changed later in the campaign, and since his win it's like he's been on one long vacation. Something ain't right with this situation.

Posted by: Ken at January 01, 2009 04:50 PM (2mbxe)

6 Ace,

The 'Trotters' foil is/are the Washington Generals. And while I'm a devoted reader of your prose, I'll disappoint you by noting that your deconstruction of the TelePrompter Jesus's prize for Political Performance of the Year is perfectly encapsulation in a mere two, naughty words: Magic Negro.

Or maybe Magic Negro-ism.

Cordially...

Posted by: Rick at January 01, 2009 04:52 PM (zncSj)

7 Ace, a better comparison is pro wrestling. The contest is staged, the publicity is ginned up, and the refs are bought off, . But some dopes think it's for real.
Posted by: Brown Line

Bullshit. The refs are paid off! That's the reason they never see the bad guys cheating to win.

Posted by: mrcaniac at January 01, 2009 04:56 PM (Rbulg)

8 BTW Ace, the Generals have won against the Globetrotters. I have always cheered for the Generals since one night sitting with the family of one of the General's players family.

Posted by: mrcaniac at January 01, 2009 04:59 PM (Rbulg)

9 Umnhhh...The Washington Generals have acquired John McCain.

Posted by: dad29 at January 01, 2009 05:11 PM (GVb0I)

10 But if the Corner is hip enough to post it, I guess I have to pretend to be, too.

Actually, the best thing about being an adult is the ability, no, responsibility, to know nothing about the current music industry, since it's just too frivolous of a concern. There is no reason to pretend to be hip, and in fact, I'm reveling in the fact that I'm now a middle aged cynic who not only could never ever recognize a Jonas Brothers song.

As for The Corner, well, glance at them and roll your eyes, as if they're all mindless bimbos chasing meaningless trends. Then feel superior. Isn't that much more fun than being hip?

Posted by: shibumi at January 01, 2009 05:20 PM (tZB/c)

11

I just now figured out the formula for shitty pop music. Key of F, 90ish BPM, enough kind buds to stifle all creativity and a recording industry that just doesn't give a fuck anymore.

Music has sucked for 20 years. Can we please bring it back?

Posted by: ErikW at January 01, 2009 05:28 PM (hKtiw)

12 "Yeah. The refs don't notice either. Why, the refs give the Globetrotters such a complete and utter pass that you'd almost think they were working for the Globetrotter organization."

Thanks a lot, Ace. Just destroy another set of heroes for me. All I have left now are Mr. Clause, Mr. E. Bunny, Jesus, my parents, and Superman. And none of them play sports.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at January 01, 2009 05:41 PM (sI5Ho)

13

Ace is dead on.  Just like the Globetrotters. Exactly!!

"Ever notice that Globetrotters sometimes hide balls under their shirts, throw buckets of confetti in their opponents' faces, and routinely use props like trampolines to illegally score baskets?"

A little fix up and we get:   Ever notice that Globetrotters Michelle Obama sometimes hides her balls under their her shirts skirt, throw buckets of confetti the race card in their opponents' faces, and routinely use props like trampolines her education and kids to illegally score baskets political points?

Tada

Posted by: navycopjoe at January 01, 2009 06:44 PM (D+jLe)

14 #4 -- with those moobs he could be Mamie van Doren...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 01, 2009 06:45 PM (DBS+D)

15 OK, now that is one good mashup.  And I don't even follow the pop charts.  Well done. 

And it's Suzanne Vega's "Luka."  You're welcome.

Posted by: The 80s had better music, frankly at January 01, 2009 06:50 PM (b0sdZ)

16 Weird Al does it better (a mashup that is):

http://tinyurl.com/o62cj

Posted by: MikeH at January 01, 2009 10:29 PM (1V2sa)

17 Wait how did a recognition of General Petraeus and Sarah, turn into this strange mashup of the  Harlem Globetrotters and modern music, who threadjacked this thing.

Posted by: narciso at January 01, 2009 11:24 PM (9EG7Z)

18 Ah that respected moonie source the washington times. How is the Rev Moon?

Posted by: Brian at January 01, 2009 11:39 PM (YrCzB)

19 My Palin-lust is not yet sated, and will  not be, until THE DAY she is POTUSILF.

Posted by: Jones at January 02, 2009 02:35 AM (KOkrW)

20 Late last eve I pushed in the ear buds in, dropped the needle on the first three "Babies" albums (yes -vinyl)
 What a pleasure to return to a time when music was crafted ...
 If you remember them as nambie pambie bubblegum pretty boys, well give em a listen...
I'm a chainsaw guitarist, it it sounded sweet to me ...

 speaking of  "Sweet" ... hmm ... now there's another pile of albums to dust off ...

Posted by: Hiltop at January 02, 2009 08:56 AM (AZ9Rw)

21 sorry, meant to reference # 11

Posted by: Hiltop at January 02, 2009 08:59 AM (AZ9Rw)

22

So Brian, if the Times says it it ain't true?

Moonies do seem to do news better than lefties.

Posted by: kidney at January 02, 2009 11:31 AM (QZyY3)

23 That Weird Al mashup is awesome!  Putting all those songs to polka makes them seem ridiculous.  Which is appropriate for the most part.  Yeah, that mashup wins.


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