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| Why Not? Hamas Legalizes CrucifixionBoth Iran and its Hamas proxy in Gaza have been busy this Christmas week showing Christendom just what they think of it. But no one seemed to have noticed. On Tuesday Hamas legislators marked the Christmas season by passing a Sharia criminal code for the Palestinian Authority. Among other things, the code legalizes crucifixion.Happy Birthday, Jesus! We thought a sweater was too impersonal. This is actually progress. They're boldly moving into the zeroth century, the conservative hard-liners and luddite sentimentalists be damned. Give 'em a couple thousand years and they'll be okay. CommentsPosted by: toby928 at December 29, 2008 02:32 PM (PD1tk) 2
And I used to say they were stuck in the 6th century. Hell they are going back to BC now. Posted by: Vic at December 29, 2008 02:32 PM (f6os6) 3
From what, ummm, you know, I've ummm heard, you know, crucifixion is ummmm you know, icky.
Posted by: Princess Senator Select Caroline at December 29, 2008 02:35 PM (IHbof) 4
A word of caution to all Christians: Don't do anything that might compel those poor Iranians and Hamas people to crucify you. Like praying or celebrating your holidays. Remember, only you can control the situation, and thus will be blamed for any escalations in crucifixion.
Have you tried NOT being a Christian? /sarc Posted by: Tushar at December 29, 2008 02:37 PM (PTWes) 5
Can we go back to throw rocks and not getting our asses kicked?
Posted by: Hamas at December 29, 2008 02:37 PM (2ZltR) 6
Wow........ Well at least they were kind enough to do this between Christmas and Easter, so they can have realistic re-enactments come the spring. I'm sure Amnesty International will be very outspoken about this in 3....2...wait, what? Oooooooooooooooooooooh, they don't care because it's not white Westerners doing it? Got it. Posted by: paranoidpyro at December 29, 2008 02:38 PM (Js4Ul) 7
This post is useless without the patron saint of torture, Andi Sullivan, up on his cross of heartache. I mean he predicted this, Bush caused all this by forcing soldiers to put panties on terrorists' heads.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 29, 2008 02:38 PM (VW9/y) Posted by: Entropy at December 29, 2008 02:39 PM (m6c4H) 9
Hmmm.
I'd say they jumped the shark but that already happened years ago. Frankly they're out of their minds. Posted by: memomachine at December 29, 2008 02:41 PM (kPJKz) Posted by: Pontius Pilate at December 29, 2008 02:47 PM (hlYel) 11
Pontious Pilot is smiling in his grave.
Posted by: Sparky at December 29, 2008 02:48 PM (J1f2W) 12
If only we could come up with some kind of final solution, you know, where we concentrate the Palestinian troublemakers for a short while until this all blows over, I think that might be helpful.
Or, since the Gaza Strip has an area of only 139 square miles, maybe the simpler answer is to simply drive all the Palestinians out into the Mediterranean Sea and then shoot at them while they drown. Either way. Posted by: Less Conventional Wisdom at December 29, 2008 02:59 PM (8/DeP) 13
But we're the bad guys, because the mullahs don't make avowed mass murderers think they're about to drown, or look into who's calling guys in caves.
Posted by: Loren Heal at December 29, 2008 03:10 PM (1/FwS) 14
Capital punishment but only in approved forms ?
Posted by: John Ryan at December 29, 2008 03:14 PM (LHCAa) 15
Being crucified sucks in an extraordinary way (there's a reason they invented a word to try to explain the incredible agony - excruciating - for this particular death) but if they think doing this to Christians will be discouraging or make them renounce their faith, they don't know much about Christianity.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 29, 2008 03:19 PM (PQY7w) 16
We should counter this insult by announcing that we are approving the use of bacon tipped bullets for our millitary. Posted by: Lemmiwinks at December 29, 2008 03:23 PM (Nwbo8) 17
I think the Israelis have put up with this crap long enough. Send every Palestinian naked and penniless up the road to Damascus, or Amman, or Cairo and turn Gaza into an orchard. Of course, the Egyptians will shoot them as they cross the border... Posted by: Traveler at December 29, 2008 03:31 PM (U1gAP) 18
I wonder if any intrepid reporters will be willing to undergo crucifixion. You know, to prove that it is a barbarous practice almost as bad as water boarding. What? No takers?
Posted by: kbiel at December 29, 2008 03:31 PM (HAib+) 19
I wonder if any intrepid reporters will be willing to undergo
crucifixion.
I think Andi Sullivan already has. But since he rather enjoys being up on a cross, it didn't have quite the impact he was hoping for. Posted by: wiserbud at December 29, 2008 03:37 PM (IHbof) 20
Give 'em a couple thousand years and they'll be okay. No they won't. Not in a million years. Hell, not ever. Posted by: RickZ at December 29, 2008 03:45 PM (Cj7uc) 21
Wouldn't it be cool if, when Iran lobs a nuke at Tel Aviv, they miss and hit Gaza instead?
Posted by: lmg at December 29, 2008 03:53 PM (A/vgC) 22
I wish I had something snarky/humorous to say here, but that is just f'ed up.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at December 29, 2008 03:58 PM (B+qrE) 23
Muslim fundies hate the Christians and Jews, uh-huh-huh, Hey! That smarts! Crucifixions (Hey!) show intolerance and devotion (Ouch!). Posted by: Buttle Her at December 29, 2008 04:10 PM (hnq5i) 24
A quick search of "Google News" indicates maybe a dozen news articles at most on this story, with most of those published by Israeli sites.
The dog that didn't bark. Posted by: Mr. Obvious at December 29, 2008 04:21 PM (nTM50) 25
http://tinyurl.com/8gxedd More mad dogs on the loose at Christmas time. Here is a story that pisses me off!
Posted by: Englishman at December 29, 2008 04:24 PM (XDOzp) 26
From ABCNews "Even an emerging crisis in the Middle East, one he pledged to resolve just 13 months ago, has not drawn President George W. Bush from his final vacation before leaving office. Despite his personal pledge at Annapolis last year to broker a deal between Israel and the Palestinians before 2009, this weekend Bush sent his spokesmen to comment in his stead. Since departing Washington for Crawford on Friday, President Bush has made no attempt to be seen in public. In fact, he has yet to leave his ranch." For someone who has enjoyed the most vacation days as sitting president it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Bush prioritizes vacationing over crisis management. Posted by: Brian at December 29, 2008 04:28 PM (YrCzB) 27
Good, then we can have the IDF round up all the Hamassholes and crucify them.
Oh wait - you mean a special law, just for Christians? Muslims must be handed a fluffy bunny and released, you say? Oh well. Posted by: mojo at December 29, 2008 04:33 PM (g1cNf) Posted by: toby928 at December 29, 2008 04:35 PM (PD1tk) 29
For someone who has enjoyed the most vacation days as sitting president it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Bush prioritizes vacationing over crisis management. Uh, Brian--in the immortal words of Junior Soprano: "Go shit in your hat." Everyone raise your hand who thinks the President is ever on vacation. Idiot. Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at December 29, 2008 04:37 PM (B+qrE) 30
For someone who has enjoyed the most vacation days as sitting president
it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Bush prioritizes vacationing
over crisis management.
I love how "business as usual" is seen as an "OMG!!!!! Crisis!!!!!" by idiots who think they have yet another cudgel with which beat their stupid so-called "points" into the ground. Seriously, Brian, is this a "crisis?" Really? Have you not been paying attention for oooooooh, let's say that last 240 years or so? Posted by: wiserbud at December 29, 2008 04:43 PM (IHbof) 31
For As someone who trolls right-wing websites looking to stir up trouble, has enjoyed the most vacation days as sitting president
it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Bush prioritizes vacationing
over crisis management. I suck a lot of dick. And I mean a lot.
FTFY, Brian. Posted by: Less Conventional Wisdom at December 29, 2008 04:51 PM (8/DeP) 32
Hmmm.
"For someone who has enjoyed the most vacation days as sitting president it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Bush prioritizes vacationing over crisis management." This nonsense is going to seriously bite the Obama-thons on the ass when The One goes bodysurfing in Hawaii on a regular basis. Posted by: memomachine at December 29, 2008 05:07 PM (kPJKz) 33
Here's a crisis for you to manage, Brian: Stop being a douche.
Posted by: Captain Hate at December 29, 2008 05:08 PM (ZW5eD) Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 29, 2008 06:02 PM (LVT6e) 35
Speaking of bedwetting, chickenshit liberals like Brian: why is it that someone in a car next to you feels brave enough to give you the stink eye over your 'remember 9-11 cause the left has forgotten it' bumper sticker, but, when you leap out of your truck and pound on their window, they don't want to discuss it with you? This just happened to me about 2 hrs. ago. Guess you just can't talk to some people.
Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 29, 2008 06:19 PM (LVT6e) 36
Just anti-social, WonderWartHog. That's all it is.
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Well, I guess that officially kills the tourism industry there.
Posted by: ErikW at December 29, 2008 07:11 PM (hKtiw) 38
In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful, The Qur'an is very clear: The only recompense of those who wage war against Allah, Allah's messenger, and spread mischief in the earth is that they are killed or they are crucified or their hands and their feet are cut off from opposite sides, or be exiled from the land. That is a disgrace for them in this world, and a great punishment in the hereafter. Sura 5:33 You cut off the hands of male and female thief, as a recompense for what they have earned, an exemplary punishment from Allah. Allah is All-Powerful, All Wise. Sura 5:38 Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 07:16 PM (xM9uA) 39
So getting stoned in Tehran and getting hammered in Gaza aren't the same as doing those things in the West? Who knew? Posted by: andycanuck at December 29, 2008 07:21 PM (55TIb) Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 29, 2008 07:38 PM (LVT6e) 41
7HEAVENS, I'm curious. Does the Koran follow a similar historical structure as the Bibile or is it just completely different?
Posted by: ErikW at December 29, 2008 07:46 PM (hKtiw) 42
You cut off the hands of male and female thief, as a recompense for what they have earned, an exemplary punishment from Allah. Allah is All-Powerful, All Wise. Sura 5:38 Nevermind. Posted by: ErikW at December 29, 2008 08:01 PM (hKtiw) 43
So at this point I tell you that Islam is a false religion.
Posted by: ErikW at December 29, 2008 08:08 PM (hKtiw) 44
7HEAVENS, I'm curious. Does the Koran follow a similar historical structure as the Bibile or is it just completely different? No it is completely different. The Bible is sort of chronological, whereas the First Revelation of the Prophet begins at Sura 96:1-5. Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 08:12 PM (xM9uA) 45
43 So at this point I tell you that Islam is a false religion. Everyone should read the Qur'an for themselves and find out the truth. Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 08:24 PM (xM9uA) 46
Sura 2:29 says: It is Allah who has created for you all that is in the earth. Then Allah turned towards the heaven and made them 7HEAVENS. Allah has knowledge of everything.
Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 08:29 PM (xM9uA) 47
Everyone should read the Qur'an for themselves and find out the truth. I would but I flushed mine right after target practice with it because I got crumbs from my pork rinds on it. My bad. Posted by: navycopjoe at December 29, 2008 08:37 PM (7dZOK) 48
Allah has knowledge of everything. Allah should have told Hamas to cut the shit because the IDF was bringing an asskicking to town. Guess he missed that one. Posted by: navycopjoe at December 29, 2008 08:39 PM (7dZOK) 49
7heavens, shut the fuck up. And piss on your Queer'an.
Posted by: MrDIe at December 29, 2008 08:50 PM (MrDIe) 50
Everyone should read the word of Allah's Prophet to know exactly what Islam really says, in the Prophet's own words. The Qur'an is the Final revelation for mankind from the same Allah who sent Abraham, Moses, and Jesus. Many contain a brief list of the life events of Prophet Muhammad to understand the goals and objectives of his mission. Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 08:56 PM (xM9uA) 51
Like suicide bombings to kill women and children?
You guys need to revisit your goals and objectives. Posted by: MrDIe at December 29, 2008 09:00 PM (MrDIe) 52
To understand the Islamic world unbelivers, Jews and Christians should read the words of of the Prophet Muhammed. There are many on the Islamic world who have read the bible and who understand the Jewish and Christian worlds better for it. I like the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13: No trial has come to you but what is human.God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 09:20 PM (xM9uA) 53
And not a thing from the UN and what about AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL wont they be raising a rukus about this?
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 29, 2008 09:24 PM (aYhmo) 54
Good to know they understand Christians and Jews better.
Does that make their killing of innocent women and children more acceptable? Posted by: MrDIe at December 29, 2008 09:30 PM (MrDIe) 55
Read Psalm 126: 126:6 Those who go forth weeping carrying seeds to be sown, shall return with cries of joy carrying their sheves. (Sura 2:29)
Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 09:31 PM (xM9uA) 56
Tell that to the mothers of slain children in Israel. And to the families of those killed in the Twin Towers.
I'm sure they'll be comforted by your empty words. Posted by: MrDIe at December 29, 2008 09:36 PM (MrDIe) 57
Those who follow a child molesting killer named Mo shall become target practice for the IDF. (joe 3:9)
Posted by: navycopjoe at December 29, 2008 09:46 PM (7dZOK) 58
Ye shall know a tree by its fruits. Matthew 13:33
Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 09:48 PM (xM9uA) 59
IDF. (joe 3:9) Joe funny.
Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 09:52 PM (xM9uA) 60
I am boring myself to sleep, probably you too. You guys really should read the Qur'an so you can understand the 1.3 billion Muslims in the world and where they are really coming from and how best to deal with them. There may be disagreements about what the words mean, but the words in the Qur'an are clear and unequivocal. You should know what it says. (Sura 2:29) Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 09:58 PM (xM9uA) 61
When Islam is wiped from the face of the earth, so shall the children of Abraham be free.
Posted by: MrDIe at December 29, 2008 09:59 PM (MrDIe) 62
The Muslims are children of Abraham too. Abraham, Ishmael and Muhammed. The other side is Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Jonah, Joseph, Moses Aron, Elias, Elisha in one branch, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David Solomon and Jesus (minus a few here and more distant branches).
Posted by: 7HEAVENS at December 29, 2008 10:24 PM (xM9uA) 63
Not a new thing really. The barbary pirates used to crucify any Jewish or Christian slave they captured who tried to rebel or escape. Of course, they stopped doing this when they were completely defeated militarily and forced out of the slave business. Maybe there is a lesson there somewhere? Posted by: BattleofthePyramids at December 29, 2008 11:39 PM (NvO9R) 64
"The Muslims are children of Abraham too. Abraham, Ishmael and Muhammed."
The ARABS are the children of Ishmael, not Muslims. Once again, Arab tribal chauvinism equates itself with Islam. Hate to break it to you, pal, but there were plenty of Arabs long before Mohammed, there are still Arabs who aren't Muslims, and most of the Muslims in the world 1) aren't Arabs and 2) hate Arabs. Posted by: Dave J at December 30, 2008 12:11 AM (xHFvH) 65
To me the Quran is a giant conspiracy theory. Muhammed was given this text, I guess like the Davinci Code, that says "Woah, the Jews were corrupted! And the Christians likewise! God just made it look like Jesus was on the cross, it was really Judas!" etc, then over time more and more "sayings of Muhammed" popped up, the later ones appearing taken in more weight than the previous!
I sometimes riff that I'm simply going to make one more conspiracy theory on top of it, making my own religion that supercedes Islam. "Islam's 3rd generation Imam was corrupt! I'm the REAL greatest prophet!". You may ask how that is different than Christ claiming to be God, from the Jewish line. Well, he was fufilling prophesy from the Old Testament, the only thing that was "out of left field" for the Jews was that they were waiting for an Earthly King, not a spiritual one. No real conspiracy there. Posted by: greg s at December 30, 2008 01:13 AM (DlMoL) 66
I was just reading Genesis yesterday, and Arabs are not part of God's chosen people. I'm not either, I'm full Gentile. God promised that line stuff, but not like Abraham's line through Sarah.
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