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Drew Peterson to Marry Unknown 23 Year Old Woman; Marks First Time Wedding Is Registered At Both Bloomingdale's and the FBI's Missing Persons Database Simultaneously

Drew Peterson is, of course, suspected complicit in his third wife's murder and his fourth wife's disappearance.

I'll give his bride-to-be props: A lot of songs claim it, but she really is willing to die for love.

Drew Peterson, 54, recently proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend of four months, his publicist confirmed to ABCNews.com, but he will not reveal her identity in an attempt to shield her from the media.

"Yes, Peterson is engaged," said Glenn Selig, Drew Peterson's publicist, who added the proposal occurred "in the past few days." "But we're not saying to who. He's entitled to his privacy and so is she."

Drew Peterson garnered media attention after his wife, Stacy Peterson, 24, went missing Oct. 28, 2007. He was widely criticized for his blase attitude toward his wife's disappearance, even alleging to the press that his wife's PMS had led her to run off with another man.

..

Drew Peterson told ABC News in an interview last year that the search for Stacy Peterson was a "waste of time."

On the anniversary of Stacy Peterson's disappearance, Drew Peterson told ABC's "Good Morning America" that he hopes she one day turns up.

"I hope someday she pops her head up and shows herself," he said.

...

But because Drew Peterson is still legally married to Stacy Peterson, a divorce will be necessary before he can set a date to walk down the aisle with his mystery bride.

"He's legally married still," said Selig, "so I guess in order to get remarried he'll need to get a divorce first."

According to the Chicago Tribune, Drew Peterson met with a high-profile divorce attorney to look into how to get granted a divorce on the basis of abandonment.

Extreme abandonment.

In lieu of flowers, well-wishers are asked to send quicklime, bleach, and a bone saw. And also, another wife.


Thanks to Circa.


Posted by: Ace at 04:25 PM



Comments

1 I must be taking the wrong approach in my dating if this asshole is about to get wife #5 and pretty much the whole Western world knows he likely killed the last two.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 17, 2008 04:29 PM (wsePr)

2 I wish the happy couple all the best but I must remind the bride to be of my maxim...once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times it's your fucking ass that's going to wind up dead.

Be that as it may...mazal tov!

Posted by: Auric Goldfinger at December 17, 2008 04:31 PM (hlYel)

3 So, I guess an ordinary criminal isn't good enough for this lunatic woman? She wants a celebrity killer? Someone should sit her down and explain to her that her *FUTURE *HUSBAND *KILLED *HIS *FIRST *WIFE.

Because we all know the first is the hardest. After that, killing is as easy as opening a can of Spam.

Posted by: shibumi at December 17, 2008 04:32 PM (tZB/c)

4
well, at least he has a publicist, so everyone's story should be straight.

for the female-companion impaired morons on this site, the fact that he is moving on to Mrs. Peterson #5 should be of concern. he is cutting into the supply of gullible wimmens

Posted by: billypaintbrush at December 17, 2008 04:34 PM (Qzoqb)

5 If he wants privacy why does he have a publicist?

Posted by: Bugler at December 17, 2008 04:35 PM (YCVBL)

6 That's the job I want--publicist for a guy who wants privacy.

Posted by: Bugler at December 17, 2008 04:37 PM (YCVBL)

7 he is cutting into the supply of gullible wimmens

Yeah, but these gullible women are future hobo women, they are not potential moron breeders. I'm sure if it. So no real loss here.

Posted by: shibumi at December 17, 2008 04:37 PM (tZB/c)

8 Drew Peterson, 54, recently proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend of four months, his publicist confirmed to ABCNews.com, but he will not reveal her identity in an attempt to shield her from the media.

We live in a truly fucked up world -- this mf-er has a friggin publicist...and yes, billypaintbrush beat me to my comment!

Posted by: billygoat at December 17, 2008 04:38 PM (WQqt3)

9 "Yes, Peterson is engaged," said Glenn Selig, Drew Peterson's publicist,

Murderers have publicists? Am I the only one who finds that just bizarre?

Posted by: MaureenTheTemp at December 17, 2008 04:38 PM (KYny9)

10

"It's not like she's walking into this blinded – there's a lot of information out there to help her make an intelligent decision," said Bosco. "Nothing I could say to her would change her mind."

 

She sounds like an Obama supporter.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 17, 2008 04:38 PM (1Jaio)

11 I bet their honeymoon is gonna be a real killer!

Posted by: wiserbud at December 17, 2008 04:40 PM (IHbof)

12

I posted on this this morning in the “how stupid are people in Illinois thread”.  I think the court needs to have someone test the mental capacity of this woman.

Posted by: Vic at December 17, 2008 04:43 PM (q8aAJ)

13 They were talking about him on the radio a few weeks ago.  Around his part of town, he is a FUCKING celebrity.  A FUCKING ROCK STAR.

At the bars, folks (especially young college age and just beyond wimmens) were doing shots with him, he was signing autographs, taking pictures, the whole FUCKING shit.

Too bad for those morons who ended up being 'just a nice guy'.

Posted by: CUS at December 17, 2008 04:43 PM (+p7v2)

14

But he really, really loves me! He's promised not to either drown or cut me into pieces! As long as I don't show any of his ex's 'annoying habits'. Hey, does anybody know what those 'annoying habits' were? As long as 'breathing' isn't one of them, I'm golden!

Posted by: The Future Mrs. Peterson AKA 'The Deceased' Also known as 'Dumb as a Box of Rocks' at December 17, 2008 04:43 PM (ERJIu)

15 UPDATE:  DREW PETERSON'S 23-YEAR OLD FIANCE REPORTED MISSING.

Friends and family reportedly not shocked or surprised.  Fiance's parents shrug shoulders and announce "We tried to tell her.  The only thing that surprises us is that it took this long."

Police say they are "stumped" and have no leads or suspects at this time.


Posted by: ABC News at December 17, 2008 04:44 PM (IHbof)

16 Just goes to show my theory is right:  Dating and marriage is so much easier when you're an asshole.

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at December 17, 2008 04:47 PM (ltwze)

17 As long as any woman who wants to get together with a convicted killer is required to surrender her uterus and ovaries at the prison door on her first visit, I have no problem with it. Better she hits death row for her hook-ups than inflicts her crazy on some dumb shmoe down at the local watering hole.

Posted by: TiredWench at December 17, 2008 04:48 PM (8w9mZ)

18 A woman was talking to a man at a bar..  the guy finally told her:  "I was just paroled today from prison."

The woman asked him, "What where you in there for?"

He answered, "I cut up my wife and my girlfriend and disposed of the bodies in a lake."

Her:  "So, you are single now?"

Posted by: Dave C at December 17, 2008 04:49 PM (7Vqoy)

19 I called my bookie Rod Blagojevich this morning, and the latest over/under on her mysterious disappearance is 16 days.

Posted by: iowahawk at December 17, 2008 04:50 PM (veL4N)

20 Either she is a total and complete idiot or he is really good in bed..no, never mind that, she must be really, really stupid.Yuck.

Posted by: IC at December 17, 2008 04:50 PM (jZNCU)

21

How the hell does this OLD fat no account facker get not one, but two twenty something wives?

 

I'm only asking because, I'm also a old fat no account facker and,,, well,,, I would like to up my game!

Posted by: Bill Ciz at December 17, 2008 04:51 PM (lkzNo)

22 I think that some women must like the scent of danger. That's the only reason I can think of why disreputable assholes like Peterson get dates.

Also, there are women who write to (male) prisoners and develop relationships and romantic attachments with them. They get themselves into relationships where they are completely manipulated, and they enjoy it.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 17, 2008 04:54 PM (FO+YO)

23 Is is the water in Chicagoland or what?

Posted by: sickinmass at December 17, 2008 04:55 PM (/i4dU)

24 Not that I'm admitting any thing but you don't necessarily have to have a bone saw.  Almost any power saw will do.  Personally, I've gotten great use out of my Sawzall.  Little more preparation is required in its use, though.

Posted by: The Obvious at December 17, 2008 04:55 PM (1g+FW)

25 I'm only asking because, I'm also a old fat no account facker and,,, well,,, I would like to up my game!

Bill, the secret is: you need to be a sleazy asshole. And then the hotties will be eating out of your hand. Also lower down, IFYWIMAITYD.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 17, 2008 04:56 PM (FO+YO)

26 Argh. Should be: IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 17, 2008 04:57 PM (FO+YO)

27 Oh, Drew PETERson. I was reading it as Drew PEARson. Boy, was I confused....

Posted by: notropis at December 17, 2008 04:58 PM (81VGH)

28 "Argh. Should be: IYKWIMAITYD"

Yeah, next time use a spell checker!

Posted by: notropis at December 17, 2008 04:59 PM (81VGH)

29 How the hell does this OLD fat no account facker get not one, but two twenty something wives?

You might not want to know until we know what this latest one looks like.  Just sayin'...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 17, 2008 04:59 PM (fGDhl)

30 #24..The Obvious:
Not if you get one with a keyless chuck. Just sayin'.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 17, 2008 05:02 PM (/i4dU)

31 Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern...
Senate Candidate #5
Mrs. Peterson #5
Mambo #5

The conclusion is obvious.  Lou Bega's the killer.

Posted by: chemjeff at December 17, 2008 05:04 PM (wy+AE)

32 > "I hope someday she pops her head up and shows herself," he said.

I suppose her head might pop up...

Posted by: Arthur at December 17, 2008 05:07 PM (roWyk)

33 Asshole should be in the hole, getting "married" to one of the inmates that he helped put behind bars...tossin' some Bubba's salad...

Posted by: Buck Naked - Pron Star at December 17, 2008 05:15 PM (oufwF)

34

This is the biggest hit to my self-esteem since Lyle Lovett married Julia Roberts.

Posted by: Big E at December 17, 2008 05:17 PM (CBGRs)

35

Maybe in a few weeks or months Drew Peterson will disappear, and the new wife will say "I don't know, he just went out for cigarettes and never came back, oh and how do you like the concrete pad I just poured for a new garage?".

That would be cool.

Posted by: gebrauchshund at December 17, 2008 05:23 PM (pY77a)

36 a dremel tool with the cutoff wheel works ok on bones too. {i hear}.

Posted by: Shaved Ape at December 17, 2008 05:24 PM (ljP2J)

37 This is the biggest hit to my self-esteem since Lyle Lovett married Julia Roberts.

I laughed out loud, and nodded in agreement

Posted by: toby928 at December 17, 2008 05:25 PM (PD1tk)

38

The only saving grace from yesterday's snowstorm here in northern Illinois is the news trucks that usually camp out in front of Drew's home could get stuck in the snow and miss the live shots of his new fiance (or is that soon to be missing wife #5?).

I live a mile from this idiot in the same town and I can tell you a) he personifies the Bolingbrook, IL police department, and b) I can ASSURE you not EVERYONE in Illinois, much less Bolingbrook, thinks this fool is a celebrity. That's especially true of my wife's boss, who has the unfortunate distinction of living on the same block as this moron. If I could get her to comment she could tell you about the time she nearly ran over a clueless Fox News reporter who darted in front of her car while trying to get a camera shot of Drew.

Shibumi, I'd like to clear up that Drew didn't kill his first wife. After divorces from wives #1 and #2, wife #3 took an "unfortunate" fall in the bathtub of their home, completely coinicdentally close to the time their divorce was to be finalized. But the Will County Coroner ruled it accidental. Of course wife #4, Stacy Peterson, ran off with Lisa Stebic (That's a bit of a local joke around here. Mrs. Stebic is the "missing" wife of Craig Stebic of Plainfield, IL, a town or two west of Bolingbrook. Completely coincidentally Mrs. Stebic disappeared around the time her divorce was to be finalized. Our esteemed police and Sheriff's departments handled that case about as well as the investigations into Mr. Peterson's late 3rd wife and missing 4th wife).

The only person happy about this story has to be our idiot thief of a governor. Now all those news trucks and reporters that were parked out in front of the Thompson Center in the Loop are on I-55 heading out to Bolingbrook.

 

Posted by: mmack at December 17, 2008 05:28 PM (Un7SJ)

39 I follow this stuff so marginally that I thought the article was about the husband of Laci Peterson. I didn't even realize there was a similar case involving a Stacy Peterson ... What are the odds?

Ladies, play it safe and don't marry anyone named Peterson, especially if your first name rhymes with "Casey."

Posted by: sauropod at December 17, 2008 05:28 PM (J9J4M)

40 Shaved Ape..
Only works good on proximal phalandes. I know.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 17, 2008 05:30 PM (/i4dU)

41 Bone saw? Don't need no stinkin' bone saw.

Posted by: Scott Peterson at December 17, 2008 05:31 PM (5FMQ5)

42

If I could get her to comment she could tell you about the time she nearly ran over a clueless Fox News reporter who darted in front of her car while trying to get a camera shot of Drew.

Prolly Shep "The Shemp" Smith (or whatever that twink's name is). She should have hit the gas. Better yet, she should have backed up and floored it.

Posted by: jaleach at December 17, 2008 05:33 PM (gHrZU)

43 Lou Bega's the killer.

I knew it!

Posted by: OJ Simpson at December 17, 2008 05:36 PM (VC56G)

44

I'm stumped.  What precisely do you buy for the bride's gift at her shower?  I got Ted Kennedy's wife a set of water wings, but that was a while back.

I don't think a handgun is a good choice for someone of this intellectual caliber.  I may have to go to my fallback option, which would be a big life insurance policy.

Hmmm.  On the other hand, wouldn't it be just fitting if the reason they want privacy is because the bride's name is Lorena Bobbitt?  How old is Lorena?

Posted by: Keith at December 17, 2008 05:41 PM (Jdtsu)

45 Ladies, play it safe and don't marry anyone named Peterson, especially if your first name rhymes with "Casey."

Casey Anthony is single and looking for love.

Posted by: MayBee at December 17, 2008 05:43 PM (EzyLH)

46

Fuck all of you.

But, I never understood it either.

Posted by: Lyle Lovett at December 17, 2008 05:47 PM (B+qrE)

47 Drew Peterson aka Rasputin

Posted by: polynikes at December 17, 2008 05:47 PM (m2CN7)

48 I thinks they should come honeymoon in Aruba!

Posted by: Joran van der Sloot at December 17, 2008 05:48 PM (Rbulg)

49 Greta and Nancy are having their 2nd orgasms of 08! A new world record.

Posted by: mrcaniac at December 17, 2008 05:49 PM (Rbulg)

50

"Prolly Shep "The Shemp" Smith (or whatever that twink's name is). She should have hit the gas. Better yet, she should have backed up and floored it."

Actually it was Fox 32 (our Chicago affiliate) reporter Anita Padilla. But my wife's boss felt the same way you do about the person you mention. If it wasn't for having her daughter in the car with her, it sounds like she was this close to flooring it and knocking Anita two or three streets over.

Posted by: mmack at December 17, 2008 05:53 PM (Un7SJ)

51

Chicago is full of thiefs and murderers.

Posted by: Chicago at December 17, 2008 06:02 PM (B6OE+)

52

And corrupt politicians.

Posted by: Chicago at December 17, 2008 06:02 PM (B6OE+)

53

his 23-year-old girlfriend of four months

Twenty-something year old girls are not known for being smart or realistic.  I know.  I have a 22-year old daughter.  She built her fairy-tale romance for 3 years because she thought "he can change".  Guess what?  He didn't!  Now she's a 22-year old almost divorced, college dropout trying to pick up the pieces.  Thank God he was just a lying cheater and not a murderer.

Posted by: katya at December 17, 2008 06:03 PM (oRJZj)

54 Drew Peterson aka Rasputin

Drew Peterson aka Tonguey McEyebrowlicker

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2008 06:07 PM (InMdt)

55

Murderers have publicists? Am I the only one who finds that just bizarre?

 Welcome to America!

Posted by: katya at December 17, 2008 06:07 PM (oRJZj)

56 this is like the second time in a week I have said "innocent until proven guilty" on this site.

Posted by: Kaptain Amerika at December 17, 2008 06:14 PM (7S1f8)

57 (Assuming he isn't lying here) Women marry convicted murders serving time in prison, so this doesn't surprise me. Don't ask me to explain it.

Posted by: SamIam at December 17, 2008 06:20 PM (jl7C/)

58
I'll give his bride-to-be props: A lot of songs claim it, but she really is willing to die for love.

It's called hybristophilia and it's a recognized psychiatric disorder.

Posted by: Fuck the commies! at December 17, 2008 06:21 PM (eKgNI)

59 No.  No. This is good.  It's cold to say, but think of the improvement in the gene pool having this women taken out of it.  At least she won't be too surprised when the time comes; if she is, then she's dumb enough to hide her own easter eggs.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 17, 2008 06:21 PM (LVT6e)

60 Damn Ace, for someone who was spooked over discussing things about Barry and an alleged mistress on this website you make no bones about Drew Peterson.

Posted by: David in San Diego at December 17, 2008 06:29 PM (GF+6V)

61

Drew Peterson, 54, recently proposed to his 23-year-old girlfriend

This guy needs to write a "How To Pick Up Girls" book.

Posted by: flenser at December 17, 2008 06:32 PM (xVira)

62 this is like the second time in a week I have said "innocent until proven guilty" on this site.

That is a legal system burden.  Not a burden on us morons!!!

Posted by: Jayne Cobb at December 17, 2008 06:36 PM (+MtXg)

63 Here ya go: Phillip Jablonski. In prison for murdering his wife, he advertises for a pen pal and this woman becomes wife (victim) #2. He also murders her mother and two other women. What a catch!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Carl_Jablonski

He's still hawt!
http://www.skcentral.com/infusions/articles/readarticle.php?article_id=79

Posted by: Fuck the commies! at December 17, 2008 06:38 PM (eKgNI)

64

At the bars, folks (especially young college age and just beyond wimmens) were doing shots with him, he was signing autographs, taking pictures, the whole FUCKING shit.

 

I know it's not an original thought, but - women are fucking nuts. What on earth were we thinking in giving them the vote?

 

Posted by: flenser at December 17, 2008 06:39 PM (xVira)

65

@ Kaptain America #56:

"this is like the second time in a week I have said "innocent until proven guilty" on this site."

That's only in the eyes of the law.  No offense intended, amigo, but just because the legal system must consider him innocent until a conviction is handed down doesn't mean I need to suddenly check my reasoning at the door and pretend "oh, this is probably just a remarkable coincidence; he's just had a run of bad luck."

Show of hands, readers - unless you're on his jury, how many people here are persuaded Drew Peterson had a hand in the dirty deed?  I'm raisin' mine.

Posted by: Keith at December 17, 2008 06:42 PM (Jdtsu)

66 I know it's not an original thought, but - women are fucking nuts.

It's a lack of morality. Inability to sympathesize with the victim and her family.

What on earth were we thinking in giving them the vote?

Keep talking like that and you won't have any nuts.

Posted by: Fuck the commies! at December 17, 2008 06:45 PM (eKgNI)

67

#40 sickinmass -

err, is your nickname 'joey the toecutter'?

 

Posted by: Shaved Ape at December 17, 2008 06:47 PM (ljP2J)

68 Celebrity killers have groupies?

Yeah, and we elected one to the highest office in the fucking land.

...the fresh prince of Bill Ayers...

Posted by: Fritz at December 17, 2008 06:48 PM (aaGD+)

69 I guess she's just suicidal and Jack Kevorkian was otherwise occupied.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 17, 2008 06:52 PM (Z0HFQ)

70 I want to know what her mum thinks of her future son-in-law!

Posted by: IC at December 17, 2008 06:55 PM (jZNCU)

71 <raises hand>

flenser, we didn't do any such thing, the guys back in the 20s (whenever it was) made that decision.  I bet it was eager than arguing the point.  My married buddies at church have a saying "You can be right or you can be happy."

I still think when we start over, we should go the Starship Troopers route and only let retired military vote.  Todays problem is a lack of acknowledgment that voting is a responsibility and it's not specific to any gender or any most minorities.

Posted by: Methos at December 17, 2008 06:58 PM (cvMcH)

72 Celebrity killers have groupies?

Damned straight. Charlie Manson ALWAYS has someone to talk to on visiting day, usually women (often young, born after he went to prison), never an empty seat. Never.

That bit of info is from my father. He's a CO at Corcoran State Prison, had to count Manson several times a day for years, along with a whole host of other miscreants. Lot's of creepy stories there, let me tell you.

Also, Manson absolutely hates being called Chuck. When he starts mouthing off to the COs, they just say "whatever you say, Chuck". And he shuts up for hours.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2008 07:06 PM (InMdt)

73
Corcoran Gladiator Days, sigh. Oh how I miss them!

Posted by: Fuck the commies! at December 17, 2008 07:08 PM (eKgNI)

74 I was looking forward to the groupies before, well, you know.

Posted by: Jeffery Dahmer at December 17, 2008 07:21 PM (YCVBL)

75 If I were the DJ for Drew's Fifth Wedding Reception ...

Soundtrack for 'Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer'

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 17, 2008 07:23 PM (8WOzU)

76 Can we say "Darwin Award"? Yes, Yes we can!

Posted by: Iblis at December 17, 2008 07:26 PM (9221z)

77

seriously show some respect...this guy is pulling in 20 something chicks and half you drunks can't even pull your blowup doll out of the closet.

now give us some privacy so i can get back to smacking that ass and picking out a new non suspicious death for this trick.

Posted by: drew peterson's pimp hand at December 17, 2008 07:28 PM (2J+Vs)

78

She's registered @ Bloomingdale's for Lenox china....."Last Supper"
pattern. .......also Wusthof cutlery.  I'm getting her the cleaver.

 

Posted by: grizzly bare at December 17, 2008 07:30 PM (2I7Ys)

79 Soundtrack for 'Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer'

Posted by: BumperStickerist

awesomely disturbing movie.

Posted by: e.koenig at December 17, 2008 07:32 PM (2J+Vs)

80 If you want whackjobs, you should see all the people on the internet trying to change the image of the People's Temple. Bleh.

Posted by: Fuck the commies! at December 17, 2008 07:38 PM (eKgNI)

81 Alright you morons, it should be perfectly obvious why she's marrying Peterson -  O.J. Simpson got his ass thrown in prison and won't be unavailable for several years.

Posted by: Zardad's Dog at December 17, 2008 07:38 PM (11waY)

82 He must have a huge cock

Posted by: Todd at December 17, 2008 07:49 PM (RNwpX)

83 He's putting them in a cemetery, right? That's the trick to this, isn't it? Bury em where dogs don't know one dead person from the next. No way he does it again. Too many eyes on the man. If there isn't some paparazzi sort with no life tailing him everywhere now, something's not right.

Posted by: pc at December 17, 2008 07:50 PM (S7zPk)

84 New Drew Peterson Website names:
"I Can Has Gulliblie Ass Younger Chick to Drill and then Snuff?.com"
"LolKillerz.?"
Teh Serial Murderer?
Teh Gilteez?

Posted by: enter sandman at December 17, 2008 08:28 PM (zxaA2)

85

I'm stumped.  What precisely do you buy for the bride's gift at her shower?

Just a few suggestions:

1. Wedding dress made of Kevlar

2. Armor-plated lingerie

3. A set of those fake handcuffs, so when he says on their wedding night "let's play naughty", he won't be tempted to use the real things

4.  A dog whistle, along with a ferocious half-starved Doberman that is trained to attack any male in the room upon hearing the whistle

5. A subscription to "Remote Buddhist Temple Digest", to encourage her to develop her inner soul in complete isolation from every other living human being, especially her new husband

Any others?

Posted by: chemjeff at December 17, 2008 08:32 PM (vkmUf)

86 Three words...

Senator Drew Peterson

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at December 17, 2008 08:33 PM (PBGAP)

87 PC wrote
He's putting them in a cemetery, right? That's the trick to this, isn't it? Bury em where dogs don't know one dead person from the next.

You wait til the dead of night, find a new grave that was dug for a funeral the next day, drop the body in, cover with dirt. The next day the coffin gets put over top of the body. Yeah it the coffin doesn't go down 6 feet, but do you think the gravediggers really will bitch about filling in 5 feet instead of 6?

Or so I have heard.

Posted by: Dexter Morgan at December 17, 2008 08:35 PM (Rbulg)

88 Or you can just dump them at sea or the Everglades.

Posted by: mrcaniac at December 17, 2008 08:36 PM (Rbulg)

89 Dex,

The cemetery usually doesn't open a grave until the morning of the funeral.  With a backhoe.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at December 17, 2008 08:37 PM (PBGAP)

90

When the Ted Bundy movie came out starring Mark Harmon as Bundy, things heated up considerably for Mr. Bundy as women went nuts for how good-looking HE was.

Fucking insane fucking people.

My favorite bumper sticker was seen on a car in line at Dairy Queen back during the days when the mandatory seatbelt laws were being passed : I'll buckle up when Bundy does.

Posted by: jmflynny at December 17, 2008 08:43 PM (+os9o)

91

Ok. I lied. That was my 2nd favorite bumper sticker.

My favorite: If God didn't intend for people to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?

Frankly, now that I think about, it's about as logical an argument as you'll ever hear out of anyone on the left when it comes to issues of ethics or morality so, why not fight fire with fire?

Posted by: jmflynny at December 17, 2008 08:47 PM (+os9o)

92 @20: "Either she is a total and complete idiot or he is really good in bed"

Well, put it this way - if you're a chick who just banged him, and it was terrible, are YOU gonna say anything?  I think not....

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at December 17, 2008 08:48 PM (LxjSI)

93 Not sure one can overstate the relative humidity of this woman's pooter as she savors the idea of marrying a alpha-thug and a celebrity. Peterson prolly gets bags of mail from a country full of women like this.

Posted by: turtle at December 17, 2008 08:50 PM (qoRP8)

94 I could see him and Kathleen Parker........for some reason. Call me a romantic...

Posted by: JS at December 17, 2008 08:52 PM (BZGu1)

95 @22: That convict hook-up thing goes both ways -

http://tinyurl.com/6l74mf

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at December 17, 2008 08:54 PM (LxjSI)

96

Who the fuck is drew Peterson?  Wasn't that asshole once a pitcher or something?

Has the AoSHQ turned into the National Enquirer online?

I think the bots HAVE taken over the blog.  NOT one single suggestion of valu rite as a gift and the word cocksucker has not been used in the entire thread.

Hey, you fucking Russians, let this blog go! Sell you fake drugs from some other site.

Kemp

Posted by: Kempermanx at December 17, 2008 08:56 PM (2+9Yx)

97 Fuck you and your cocksucking brother, Kemp.

Hey, does anyone remember when one of the Chicago radio stations tried to auction off a date with Drew, only to 'shut it down' due to public backlash?  Maybe she was actually the 'winner.'

Posted by: Methos at December 17, 2008 09:07 PM (cvMcH)

98 Looks like Darwinism has selected a 23 year old woman for extinction...

...seriously, not one shred of sympathy for her.

ON the other hand, Peterson should seriously right a book on how to pick up chicks.

Posted by: G at December 17, 2008 09:08 PM (FAYNo)

99 You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Posted by: Brick Top at December 17, 2008 09:16 PM (LxjSI)

100 89 Dex,

The cemetery usually doesn't open a grave until the morning of the funeral.  With a backhoe.

Apropos nuthin', one of the duties of the job I just lost was digging graves.  Someone bought this particular gravesite and eventually croaked (no, I wasn't fired for insensitivity).  We went to dig the grave and found an Oldsmobile.  Gotta love small towns.  And no, Jimmy Hoffa wasn't in it.  True story.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 17, 2008 09:17 PM (LVT6e)

101 Oh, I would do anything for love....
Yes, I would do anything for love....
I would do anything for love.....
But I won't do that1
No I won't do that.






1. Not kill you.

Posted by: Drew Peterson at December 17, 2008 09:30 PM (LxjSI)

102 She's registered @ Bloomingdale's for Lenox china....."Last Supper"
pattern. .......also Wusthof cutlery.  I'm getting her the cleaver.

I got them the Lerena Bobbit signature fish filleting knife.

ON the other hand, Peterson should seriously right a book on how to pick up chicks.

Step 1)  Off your wife.  Step 2) Disappear the next one. Step 3) Rake 'em in.

Posted by: CUS at December 17, 2008 09:49 PM (Thqto)

103 IllTemperedCur at December 17, 2008 07:06 PM:
Yikes! Now I know where your "handle" comes from!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 17, 2008 09:57 PM (/i4dU)

104 Guy must be hung like an army mule.....

Posted by: jason at December 17, 2008 09:58 PM (FSSsn)

105 Extreme abandonment.

Abandonment with Extreme Prejudice, one might say.

And c'mon! Not a single "So I Married An Axe Murderer" reference?

Posted by: Drumwaster at December 17, 2008 10:06 PM (Ymor3)

106 OK here goes..
I wanna be psycho killer Wickedpinto's BITCH!
I feel better now.
Morons only in the shower..

Posted by: sickinmass at December 17, 2008 10:12 PM (/i4dU)

107 106-

umm.  Don't forget your soap onna rope

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 17, 2008 10:16 PM (LVT6e)

108

97 Fuck you and your cocksucking brother, Kemp

Wait a minute here. 

I have a brother? 

Fuck, why didn't mom tell me.  Cocksucking valu rite drinking bitch.

Kemp

Posted by: Kempermanx at December 17, 2008 10:37 PM (2+9Yx)

109 Acetone works better than bleach to remove DNA evidence.....

I mean that's what I've heard.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at December 17, 2008 10:47 PM (oWAHQ)

110 Kemp, I was following the established formulaic joke when someone (anyone) complains about the lack of profanity.  That started as your mother, then your sister, then I found I just couldn't pull the trigger on either one.  I'll drink more valu-rite for courage next time.

Posted by: Methos at December 17, 2008 10:53 PM (cvMcH)

111 Ok, just an observation-Stacy Peterson, Laci Peterson...lets' hope the bride- to- be is not named Macy, Tracy or Casey...It's not good.

Posted by: teri at December 17, 2008 11:08 PM (Bww2W)

112 How about, oh I don't know, ummm, teri?

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 17, 2008 11:40 PM (LVT6e)

113 Ummm, did he propose out at that rock in Oregon, where that Phillipina got washed out to sea?

Posted by: Pinandpuller at December 17, 2008 11:40 PM (s/EWa)

114 So, basically, what your all saying is, Scott will probably be available soon?


suWEEEET!

Posted by: Daisy Peterson at December 17, 2008 11:44 PM (EW49d)

115

Wow Dex, the economy must be bad if you lost your job as a grave digger.

Posted by: Pinandpuller at December 17, 2008 11:54 PM (s/EWa)

116 Actually, it was me, Hog, that lost the job; but yeah, that would mean a tough economy.  Pretty bad when you can no longer afford to die

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 18, 2008 12:07 AM (LVT6e)

117 116-
THAT sux.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 18, 2008 12:13 AM (/i4dU)

118 Christina Raines (a waitress w/ two kids).  Picture included.  Dad--NOT happy.

Radio this AM interviewed her cousin.  No one in the family is happy.

And IIRC, Stacy named her daughter Laci.

Posted by: CUS at December 18, 2008 10:22 AM (+p7v2)

119 "You had me from 'Bitch!'"

Posted by: Roy at December 18, 2008 10:58 AM (DB72r)

120

from the linked article:  Peterson has brought her roses, taken her to "Blue Man Group," promised to buy her a car and even autographed a book for him, Ernie Raines said.

See, taking me to "Blue Man Group" would have broken off the deal right there...that girl ain't too bright...

Posted by: ushie at December 18, 2008 11:21 AM (8nB5X)

121

"Last time I had a relationship, you guys screwed it all up," he said, referring to tanning salon worker Kim Matuska, 22. "The police had her, the grand jury had her. I'm not putting her through all that."

Then why do you hire a fucking PUBLICIST and why do you make your "engagement" fucking PUBLIC?  What do you think the MSM leeches are goin to do - just go away?  Maybe send a few wedding gifts?  They all think you are some evil sick twisted killer and they want to get a Pulitzer at your expense.  Man they are all a bunch of retards.

Although Christina is pretty hot.

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