1 Ill believe he's clean when my shit turns orange and smells like skittles.

2

Of course it wasn't you, Jesse.  It was that other guy who'd pony up a million bucks to get your son into the Senate.

Like....like....Shit, there has to be someone...

3

"Politics is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms," he said.

You can goddamn justify nearly any activity with a statement like that.

Jackson: "Using the threat of racism to extort money from big business is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Swaggert: "Fucking whores from the pulpit is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Dahmer: "Canibalism is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Bundy: "Serial murder is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Sullivan: "Buttfucking is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Ace: "Hobokilling is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Maylor: "Explaining legalities that no one gives a fat rat's ass about is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms."

Is there anything that sports analogies can't do?

4

"Politics is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines have clean uniforms"

Nice try, jackass, but it just so happens that having dirt on your uniform is a felony.  We're sticklers about our laundry, here in the U.S.

5 Well at least the story mentions JJJr's party affiliation in the first paragraph.

6

Posted by: chemjeff at December 11, 2008 08:19 PM

No credit for that one.  Mentioning that Jesse Jackson's a Democrat is like mentioning that the Pacific Ocean is full of water.

7 Actually, Shakedown Sr. said that " ...I am not AN emissary." Which to me says only that he does not consider himself to be an emissary, but doesn't address whether the DOJ described him that way in the indictment.

8

Of course it wasn't you, Jesse.  It was that other guy who'd pony up a million bucks to get your son into the Senate.

Like....like....Shit, there has to be someone...

Sure.  Zombie Fred Baron.

9 He drew his sword(lawyer'd up) rather quickly for this contact sport.

Hey Fitz!  Are you calling the fucking plays from the booth, the sidelines, or the huddle?  Jesse wants to be in your poster.

10

Jesse Jackson's reaction if he didn't do it: "It wasn't me."

Jesse Jackson's reaction if he did do it: "It wasn't me."

11 This is off topic but is anyone else watching CSPAN2 right now?  Did you see Dingy Harry's comments? Barf. He's now saying that it's important to vote for the bailout bill because "times are hard" and that the Congress shouldn't "pile on".  What a douche.

12

Of course!  It makes perfect sense: Dead people have the right to vote in Chicago, so why should we deny them access to the rest of the Illinois political process?

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ZOMBIES!!

13 No, his reaction either way will be to attribute this to the white man's game of politics in the "Winny Siddy of Illinoise" (to quote the ever-eloquent Mr. I. Hawk).

14 Jesse Jackson, Jr. wouldn't know a contact sport if smacked him down and did  a body slam.  What a fucking tool.  It'll be good to see him behind bars.  When he gets out, he can join his dad and his rainbow coalition shaking down GM and Chrysler.  Oh, well, never mind them.  Shaking down Harvard, yeah, that's it.

Fucking too, Junior, tool.

15 *sigh* Is there any such thing as an honest Democrat? 

16 Is he now going to start a hunt for the "Real Emissary"?

17 As a long-time concerned racist, I'm giddy.

You know who this benefits, don't you?

18

"It wasn't me".

I am announcing today, that I have entered shake down anonymous. 

I am a an con man.  I freely admit this, and I am in rehab.  I want to say to all the suckers I shook down over the last 30 years, I am sorry. 

I am addicted to shake down brides. 

I realized my problem when it appeared that my son had inherited the same problem.  With counselling and support from other shake down artists, like my friend Rev? Sharpton, I hope to one day live a real live and get a government job, like, hey, Secretary of HHS?  I already sent "The One" over seven figures in non traceable prepaid visa cards.  That should do it. right? Oh, I had a slip, I am off to a meeting.

Peace brothers.

19  sorry to OT but wanted to share  http://tinyurl.com/5d7mu2
President-elect Barack Obama just got nixed!

Sneed hears the White House has rejected a recent request by Obama to occupy Blair House, the president-elect’s Washington residence, at an earlier date.

• • To wit: Sneed hears Obama wanted to move his family and his transition team to Blair House, which is across from the White House, nearly two weeks before the president-elect historically moves there on Jan. 15 — five days before the inaugural.

• • The backshot: A source tells Sneed: “There were reportedly two reasons for the request: Obama’s children start school in early January — and the move could be interpreted as a New Year’s symbolic gesture showing the president-elect in a presidential capacity across from the White House on Jan. 2, the day after New Year’s Day.”

• • The buckshot: Blair House, the president’s guest house for visiting dignitaries, nixed the request. “It was a polite rejection,” the source added. “But I’m told Blair House was appalled.”

  •   Responses: An Obama spokesman tells Sneed they were told Blair House had guests until Jan. 15. ... Sally McDonough, a spokesman for first lady Laura Bush, tells Sneed: "Respectfully, we are keeping transition conversations quiet. But Jan. 15 is historically the time when incoming presidents occupy Blair House, which is the president's guest house."

20 As a "man of the cloth", the Rev knows uniforms.

21 Damn! O.J. should be on this case. It's a shame he's is prison, because after he finds his wife's killers, he's a natural to figure out who the "emissary" is.

22 Apparently the One is concerned his own house might be wiretapped?

23 Re: 19.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  Hasn't he had a job in DC for the past 2 years?  Where did he stay?  I mean, he was "present," wasn't he?

24

What the hell is wrong with these people?  Hasn't he had a job in DC for the past 2 years?  Where did he stay?

Apparently, at a Holiday Inn Express.

That's what it says on his resume.

25

He wasn't in DC very long before he started running for POTUS, (he probably didn't find anyone to help him pay for a house there)

26 I'm not the me Barack Obama thought he knew.

27 I am the fucking emissary, motherfucker.  I am the motherfucking emissary.

Now give this man a Senate Seat.

28 I just hope the Bush administration is cooperating with Fitzgerald to preemptively tap all the relevant White House phones.  You know, a little house warming gift, rather than removing all the keyboard 'o's.

29 President-elect Barack Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, refused to take questions from reporters this morning about whether he was the Obama “advisor” named in the criminal complaint against Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

Emanuel was uncharacteristically absent from Obama’s news conference this morning. He was spotted two hours later in the lobby of Chicago’s City Hall. He was there to listen to his two children performing in a concert with their school, Anshe Emet.

“You’re wasting your time,” Emanuel said. “I’m not going to say a word to you. I’m going to do this with my children. Dont do that. I’m a father. I have two kids. I’m not going to do it.”

Asked, “Can’t you do both?” Emanuel replied, “I’m not as capable as you. I’m going to be a father. I’m allowed to be a father,” and he pushed the reporter’s digital recorder away.

Is this the kind of open and clean government that is endearing the Messiah to the AP?

30 This conversation is not helping my kids.

31 Or mine.

32 Hey, I always tried to make it a contact sport, but I always did the hard hitting naked.

33 If I was one of the reporters I would have asked, What's the matter Rahm? Why are you being so short with us?

34

Anshe Emet

I grew up across the street from this school!  This dude has some serious cash to afford this place.  He must be a Chicago Democrat.

35 I may be vile and pernicious, but you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say
-- Frank Zappa

Horse puckey, Jesse.

36

The "clean uniforms" bit, while not an excuse for corruption, actually makes a lot of sense.

The more government gets involved in the private sector, the more private-sector people (read: lobbyists) will proffer bags of money to get their way.

Sounds like another good case for limited government.

37 What a bunch of amateurs.

38
Meanwhile,  back at the ranch...

At a news conference Thursday, Obama said his office was assembling purging any information about possible contacts "between the transition office negotiation team and the governor's seller's office," and that he intended never intends to release any such detail in the next few days.

39 1 I'll believe he's clean when my shit turns orange and smells like skittles.

Sounds like you know how to track an Oompa Loompa.

40
"Politics Fuckin' groupies is a contact sport. Only those on the sidelines ridin' bareback have clean uniforms a love child" he said.

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