Coleman Up by 238: Systematic, Forensic Search for "Missing Ballots" Called Off

I really want this one, mostly because I just can't bear the idea that Al Franken might not be lending his considerable talents to Saturday Night Live should he win.

This is a man, after all, who, after working at the same place for 20 years, actually landed a promotion to featured performer rather than just a writer, and who, in the ten subsequent years of working there, managed to produce not one but two somewhat-memorable catchphrases.

Posted by: Ace at 07:04 PM

Comments

1
You talking about this ass?

Posted by: Bart at December 08, 2008 07:06 PM (Zp9rz)

2

By the way, I don't think win means what you think it means, in this case. Er, especially in this case.

Posted by: Bart at December 08, 2008 07:08 PM (Zp9rz)

How depressing that a tax cheat, bad actor could come this close to being a US Senator.

Oh, never mind, at least he doesn't keep his money in a freezer, oh wait, he lives in MN, I guess he does that too.

What a douche bag.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 08, 2008 07:14 PM (2+9Yx)

Hey, Ace, Don't mean to be rude, but Power Line is all over Ms World, clearly an AoSHQ subject.

New Thread?

http://tinyurl.com/63656t

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 08, 2008 07:17 PM (2+9Yx)

5 A state that would even come close to electing Stuart Smalley to be a US Senator is a state at least half full of assholes.

Posted by: drjohn at December 08, 2008 07:21 PM (ToVRf)

Although I understand that Coleman is a RINO, I hate Franken's guts so much over his liberal hypocrisy and the outright fraud being committed by his people that his defeat carries special joy for me. Let's hope that sometime in the near future a prison sentence for e.g. tax (or voting) fraud will find it's way into Mr. Franken's life.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 08, 2008 07:23 PM (CZaaY)

7 Could someone please explain to me how ANY state can keep "finding" missing ballots and actually count them. WTH?

They aren't even trying to be clever.

Posted by: mare at December 08, 2008 07:24 PM (X1fsj)

Yes, Kemp, Power Line always covers the big-time beauty pageants. Woo-hoo!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 08, 2008 07:25 PM (CZaaY)

Search for missing ballots called off.

Translation fromWashington: "Al, you fucking idiot. You've brought the national spotlight on this race and made it a hot potato topic, so we can no longer outright steal the election. If we try now, even more of our skeletons might fall out of the closet. Nice going Butthole.

Posted by: Jody C. at December 08, 2008 07:28 PM (B/Y39)

10 I think you're undercutting Al a bit.

He *was* in line to take over after Lorne Michaels and the original cast left the show in 1980. However, he managed to fuck that up royally and, in the process, help ensure that the 1980-1981 run of the show was a disaster.

Al was one of the rookie writers brought onto the show in the 70s and, by the time Michaels wanted to step away, he had Franken in mind as his replacement. His intention was to take the goodwill that he'd built up with the show (by creating it and making it a phenominal success for 5 years) and choose Franken as his successor the next time he met with the then-president of NBC, Fred Silverman.

Franken, around this time, decided to have some fun at Silverman's expense. He did a sketch eviscerating Silverman for the poor performance of NBC during his tenure and started discussing some of the perks that went with the job, such as a limo. Franken talked on the air about how he, as a writer of a very successful show, deserved a limo a lot more than a president who'd run the network into the ground.

The whole sketch / Update piece was known as "Limo For A Lame-O" and Silverman became unglued when he heard it, partially because nobody had ever warned him about it beforehand.

The results of Franken's sketch were that Lorne Michaels was frozen out of the choosing of his successor, Al Franken joined the unemployment line at the end of the season, and the network chose Jean Doumanian, one of Michaels' associate producers, to take over the show.

The Doumanian era of SNL was an unmitigated disaster on nearly every level. The one thing she did right was something she did begrudgingly... hire Eddie Murphy as a featured player.

(The guy who auditioned Murphy saw the potential in him and wanted him signed pronto, but Doumanian wanted Robert Townsend as the show's token black performer and relented only after realizing Townsend hadn't signed his contract yet.)

This has been this thread's edition of The SNL History Post.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 08, 2008 07:32 PM (U7TcP)

11 I remember watching "Franken & Davis Show" on SNL in the 1970's. It was not funny. Stuart Smalley, not funny. He is just a tax cheating pornographer...

Posted by: FloofyParisParamus at December 08, 2008 07:34 PM (jGNc3)

...managed to produce not one but two somewhat-memorable catchphrases

Is this a contest? If so, I am going to need another clue or maybe buy a vowel.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at December 08, 2008 07:35 PM (C2//T)

Don't forget that Franken left SNL the last time because he was furious that Norm MacDonald got the Weekend Update chair over him.

Yes, the best part of mid-90s SNL (the only bright spot between Hartman and Carvey's departure and Will Ferrell's arrival) almost didn't happen because of Al F'n Franken.

Posted by: Barney Stinson at December 08, 2008 07:36 PM (pfStM)

14 YES. Will the Franken Concession Speech be televised live? In HD? During prime time? And then repeated with an infinite loop through the end of time? So that he may be humiliated over and over and over and over and over and over...?

Posted by: chemjeff at December 08, 2008 07:40 PM (wy+AE)

Could someone please explain to me how ANY state can keep "finding" missing ballots and actually count them.

Ask Christine Gregoire or the King County Board of Elections... no problemo. BTW did you know the US Attorney that refused to investigate the voter fraud cesspool that was Seattle in 2004 was one of the ones Bush fired? Niether did anyone else, because the MSM "forgot" to mention it.

Posted by: sherlock at December 08, 2008 07:44 PM (8V5Ut)

16 The Dingo got the ballots!

Posted by: Acme Gun Store and Reloading Supplies at December 08, 2008 07:50 PM (F1b/5)

17 On air he tries to come across as harmless, but Al Franken is pathologically nasty. A lying, tax cheating, nasty loudmouth.

How the hell do you spell lying? To lie?

Posted by: mare at December 08, 2008 07:54 PM (X1fsj)

18 I am sad he lost. Having the US Treasury sell copper coated zinc "Lincoln Medallions" (bust on side, monument on the other) for $5 ea. was the best way to save the economy.

Posted by: Potosi Joel at December 08, 2008 07:54 PM (TPRbZ)

Don't forget that Franken left SNL the last time because he was furious that Norm MacDonald got the Weekend Update chair over him.

Yes, the best part of mid-90s SNL (the only bright spot between Hartman and Carvey's departure and Will Ferrell's arrival) almost didn't happen because of Al F'n Franken.

I didn't forget it... but I also didn't mention it because I thought only hardcore Norm MacDonald fans would care.

Fun fact- The guy who chose MacDonald over Franken was Don Ohlmeier, who later famously got involved in SNL by dictating that Lorne Michaels had to can MacDonald because he "wasn't funny".

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 08, 2008 07:55 PM (mySIW)

20 Yeah anyone who's ever heard him on Air America knows he's a pompous, vicious asshole. When the tax problems came up it was hard not to laugh at him. For the first time.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 08, 2008 08:00 PM (XIXhw)

21 Franken lived in a rent controlled apartment when he was raking in the SNL bucks. Real man of the people. Also just a nasty mean asshole.

Posted by: Allswell at December 08, 2008 08:01 PM (bvKWR)

22 The thing about McDonald was when they brought him back as a guest host, not only did he drop a GD in his monologue, "Now that I'm back, when did I finally get so GD funny?" but his Burt Reynolds impersonation led to, I believe but not sure on this, to the first Celebrity Jeopardy, maybe the best running skit they had late 90s / early 00s.

Posted by: Lee at December 08, 2008 08:02 PM (TxTIh)

23 Ace, what you probably are asking yourself is, "How can you can help me, Al Franken?"

Posted by: Al Franken at December 08, 2008 08:05 PM (meVfb)

Brandon,

How the hell do you know that stuff?!

Posted by: Terry at December 08, 2008 08:06 PM (nyxv/)

25 Is the "Al Franken Decade" over yet? When did Harry Shearer leave the show? Didn't Al's partner, Tom Davis, buy the Oakland Raiders?

Posted by: Fresh Air at December 08, 2008 08:07 PM (meVfb)

26 Hey, Minnesota, guess what? The welfare queens of New Orleans are smarter than half your state. What a proud realization, huh?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 08, 2008 08:08 PM (yIy7z)

27 his Burt Reynolds impersonation led to, I believe but not sure on this, to the first Celebrity Jeopardy, maybe the best running skit they had late 90s / early 00s.

Damn, that skit cracked me up. I still lose it when Trebek says, in that tired, pained voice, "Mr. Reynolds has changed his name to Turd Ferguson." I think I even commented here under that name a few times.

Posted by: Andrew at December 08, 2008 08:11 PM (CX/mc)

28 24

Brandon,

How the hell do you know that stuff?!

1. I'm a bit of an SNL historian (I've seen a lot of material from the start of the show through about 1999 or 2000)

2. I've read the tell-all book "Live From New York" a number of times and certain passages stick out more than others. (I've also got a memory that isn't quite photographic, but very good. It's also routinely misused to learn trivial shit like this.)

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at December 08, 2008 08:12 PM (mySIW)

29 Is there like some book all your SNL Historians all read from or something?

Posted by: RedFox84 at December 08, 2008 08:15 PM (6yN4j)

30 OT but Christmassy....Charlie Brown is on now. Get your yearly Vince Guaraldi fix.

Oh, and Fuck Al Franken.

Posted by: aubrey at December 08, 2008 08:16 PM (1YVnX)

31 Well, seems like my question got answered before it was asked. I love this blog, it transcends space-time.

Posted by: RedFox84 at December 08, 2008 08:16 PM (6yN4j)

I'm stumped about Franken's two memorable lines?

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and - doggone it - I take it up the ass ... but not in a gay way ... like a Viking.

Okay, that's one ...

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 08, 2008 08:19 PM (8WOzU)

"I'm Al Franken and I can juggle turds without my mouth watering making my hands slip."

Was that another one?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 08, 2008 08:41 PM (fnoZ9)

34 The only thing "funnier" than the prospect of Al Franken coming this close to becoming a United States Senator is the thought of Chris Matthews doing the same. I am expecting at some point soon to hear the loud ripping sound of the very fabric of time, space, and rational thought.

Posted by: DCox at December 08, 2008 08:51 PM (2pT9a)

35 Personally, I've found Al Franken very entertaining.

He's interesting in a train-wreck kind of way. He always seem to be about to go off the tracks and you know its just a matter of time before he does. And when he does, you can tell it's gonna be a spectacular mess.

IMO, the best case scenario is for them to "find" just 237 votes. Can you imagine the scene when he finds out he lost by ONE measly vote? One word: Scanners (hopefully in HD).

Anyway, if he is able to scrape up enough votes to win, I still bet cash money that it ends up entertaining - and by that I mean badly ... for him.

Posted by: Che Pizza at December 08, 2008 09:09 PM (RLBRw)

36 If he actually manages to lose a race almost stolen for him, Franken could sub for the Rosie/WHoopie position on the pew View. Al F'n Franken is one of the meanest, least funny people on the earth. Like Humor Minister to Pol Pot, or chief joke writer to Joseph Stalin. Just hilarious. Really.

Here's hoping he gets hemorrhoids the size of a Dodge Truck.
Maybe, a fungal infection, too, that'd be fine.

Posted by: enter sandman at December 08, 2008 09:34 PM (NE3rr)

37 What a dick. Are we sure he's not Dickie Franken, as in Dick Franken.
Or just Dick. Cause we know he's a world class dick, that's for certain.
Let's call him Dick, K?
Just asking, is all.

Posted by: enter sandman at December 08, 2008 09:37 PM (NE3rr)

38 Not being able to win an election you're plainly trying to steal is a mark of severe incompetence and poor planning. I don't want senators who are that incompetent.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 08, 2008 09:43 PM (CwzFE)

39 38 Not being able to win an election you're plainly trying to steal is a mark of severe incompetence and poor planning. I don't want senators who are that incompetent.
But we already have gross incompetence in the Senate: Reid, Kennedy, Schumer, Kerry, and a host of gutless RINOs, including Coleman, who though better than Franken, is still not quite top-shelf. Coleman does for being a Republican what Michael Jackson does for being masculine, er, not much.

If incompetence were the measure of a Senator, Franken would fit right in with those mouth breathers like he was one of the regulars. Hell, Reid almost makes Franken look like an intellectual. And that's hard to do,isn't it?

Posted by: enter sandman at December 08, 2008 09:55 PM (NE3rr)

40 FRANKENSTEIN !!!!!!!

Posted by: rls at December 08, 2008 10:58 PM (k4h7p)

41 Frankendingleberry.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 08, 2008 11:14 PM (fnoZ9)

42 I'm glad it looks like Frankin won't be on a taxpayers dime anytime soon or pension for life for being a member of congress.

Posted by: Dave C at December 09, 2008 01:19 AM (MfaHp)

43 Frankenberry was gross... Count Chocula was teh SHIZNIT, yo!

Posted by: Baghdad Dewclaw at December 09, 2008 07:50 AM (vuy4X)

44 My favorite Al moment was the press release where he admitted deceiving various Republican congressmorons to elicit embarrassing anecdotes he could ridicule in his next scathing expose of conservative evildoers.

The title of that festering turd of a book, I think, was LIES and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.

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