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| Terrorists Say They'll Fight Somali PiratesGotta say I'm on the pirates' side here. The irony in this story is thicker than Rosie O’Donnell’s thigh. A hijacked Saudi tanker, the Sirius Star, taken by pirates off the coast of Somalia last week, is being threatened by Islamic militants who say they will “rescue” the ship from the pirates. Stating the hijacking is a crime against Islam (and really, what isn’t these days?), members of the Somali Islamist group al-Shabab arrived in the town of Harardhere to battle the pirates. Now before we go any deeper into this story let us get some things straight. Piracy is in fact against Islam. So, al-Shabab, which happens to be one of the splinter groups battling for control of Somalia along with the deposed Islamic Courts Union (which was tossed out of power in 2006 by the Ethiopians with a little help from the U.S), is correct in that regard. Except, that’s not the sole reason they want to battle the Corsairs who hijacked the Saudi ship. ...Islamic militants claiming piracy is against Islam is dripping with such thick irony one must wonder how the words could pass the mouth of the person who utters such a phrase. But then we get down to the truth of the matter, where the exception proves the rule.At least the pirates commendably adhere to the liberal value of equal treatment for all. Can't say the same for the xenophobic, racist* terrorists, of course. Does any other religion distinguish between believers and nonbelievers when it comes to the prohibitions against murder and rape? As far as I know, that's a singular innovation of the RoP.The fighters told residents they would battle the pirates because the tanker, which is loaded with 2 million barrels of oil, is owned by a Muslim country and should not have been taken.So if the tanker were owned by someone not Muslim, hijacking it is not against Islam and is allowed according to the extremists. This is the problem with Islam today. Preying on those not Muslim is, if not accepted, then certainly tolerated, and in some cases demanded. In case any of you out there do not remember the early history of the United States, we’ve already dealt with this problem once. The first line from the Marine Corps Hymn is “From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli,” where Marines battled the Barbary pirates after Congress got tired of paying tribute to the potentates who ruled there and President Jefferson decided to flex a little U.S. muscle. * We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet. Perhaps Andrew Sullivan will invent one for us. Comments1
Somalia needs to be turned into a glass parking lot. End of problem(s).
Posted by: GarandFan at December 03, 2008 02:39 PM (237hA) 2
I see no problem here. Its a win-win.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 03, 2008 02:40 PM (CwzFE) 3
I agree, let them battle each other while I nom popcorn.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 03, 2008 02:41 PM (SHHaV) 4
Let the cruise ships take on the pirates. I heard someone on the radio say he got a postcard from his mother who was on the ship they tried to board, saying, Hi, we got attacked by pirates. Wish you were here. Love Mom.
Posted by: Remember the Kat-Mo! at December 03, 2008 02:42 PM (ASdkc) 5
So long as the body count is high on both sides, I'll be happy.
Posted by: DrewM. at December 03, 2008 02:45 PM (hlYel) 6
We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is
What about "bigoted", "xenophobic", or "La Razaesque"? Posted by: bgates at December 03, 2008 02:47 PM (kAULt) 7
Red on red violence is the best.
Kinda like in rasslin, where two bad guys wind up fighting each other. Posted by: eddiebear at December 03, 2008 02:47 PM (wnU1W) 8
With respect to a word to describe these goobers, I believe in the most general terms, they could be called Theofascists. They are fascists not in a geoploitical sense, but in a religious sense. Their religion, rather than their state is their vision of the instrument of supreme power.
Posted by: Syeve H in AZ at December 03, 2008 02:49 PM (pRV3S) 9
Yeah sure and the fox offred to guard the henhouse DONT TRUST THEM THEIR AS SLIPPERY AS A BUCKET OF EELS
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 03, 2008 02:50 PM (RBA5d) 10
This begs the question: Pirates, Ninjas, or Islamic militants? I bet if it were ninjas coming after that tanker, those bitchass pirates would be jumping overboard like their heads were on fire and their asses were catchin'. Posted by: shank at December 03, 2008 02:52 PM (+H1yK) 11
6 We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is I would say that bigoted is the proper word to use. I think in its proper usage its exactly correct. I believe it is defined by a complete refusal to listen to or hear other views. I do believe though that it has been bastardized in a similar manner that intolerant has been though, since you can listen to and consider other things and still oppose them. Posted by: buzzion at December 03, 2008 02:53 PM (Lrsi6) 12
Oh, and as for a word to describe the 'terriss' ~ How 'bout Muslims? It's not freaking incorrect, is it? Posted by: shank at December 03, 2008 02:54 PM (+H1yK) 13
We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is
- Religious bigot? - Islamicist? - System default? Posted by: FormerHostage at December 03, 2008 02:56 PM (N8+Yj) 14
Supremacists.
Posted by: Original Roy at December 03, 2008 02:59 PM (vtR2g) 15
GO PIRATES!!!
Posted by: slowbama at December 03, 2008 02:59 PM (ix3FU) 16
Andi loves him some swarthy swashbuckling pirates and militant fundamentalist Muslim warriors/freedom fighters/heroes.
Did you know Cheney was bad, I mean really really bad, like bogeyman bad? And none of you know what true Christianity is, not a one of you! Posted by: Uniball at December 03, 2008 02:59 PM (27iEn) 17
- <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUyD5RXEeY8">Miserable fat Belgian bastards</a>?
- Mormons? (at least then we could get Hollywood to protest against them) Posted by: FormerHostage at December 03, 2008 03:00 PM (N8+Yj) 18
Honestly, I can't make up my mind. I don't think I agree with Ace about favoring the pirates. They are chaotic evil, just like the terrorists. Gee, wouldn't it be a shame if, while the terrorists were battling with the pirates, a few Hellfire missiles took out the whole lot of them? Then we would have to let God sort them out. Posted by: connertown at December 03, 2008 03:01 PM (lhJxs) 19
Perhaps the word could be "religist".
Or honestly, it is linguistically incorrect, but I enjoy using the word "racist" against them. It just feels right. "Bigots" would also do. Posted by: Ed at December 03, 2008 03:03 PM (OjcQM) 20
* We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet. How about "bloodthirsty savages?" I think it says it all. Posted by: Douger at December 03, 2008 03:04 PM (FOIzz) 21
Since the pirates are essential to the local economy, they should record the fights and release them on pay per view. Pirates vs. Terrorists! Who wouldn't spend $3.99 to watch two indistinguishable groups firing at each other and destroying the town in the process, and if we are really lucky, blowing up the oil tanker a la' the death star. That would be cool.
Posted by: Penfold at December 03, 2008 03:05 PM (lF2Kk) 22
I'm glad he mentioned the Barbary pirates. We as a country have had problems from Muslims since the time of Jefferson. Long before Israel, Iraq or Palestine could be used as a justification.
Posted by: Nathan at December 03, 2008 03:09 PM (5fvUF) 23
So the Islamist nut jobs are in town to fight the pirates? It's awfully nice of them to cluster together into a nice little target package. So much more convenient than having to hunt them down one by one, as enjoyable as that might be. I hope we send an extra Predator so we can get goal-line footage of the MOAB as it hits paydirt.
Posted by: Dasbow at December 03, 2008 03:11 PM (3Wewy) 24
So, should our SEALs have "dress like a pirate day" and take out a few terrorists? Welcome aboard, matey!
Posted by: Sue at December 03, 2008 03:15 PM (Jol77) 25
Try as I might, I cannot remember any pirates in charge of the Mosques in Baghdad when AQ attacked them in order to drive a Civil War among Islamic factions.
Indeed, both factions gave various justifications for killing innocent Clerics. Those are apparently "not operative" now. Posted by: Robert at December 03, 2008 03:16 PM (VotgB) 26
* We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet. Perhaps Andrew Sullivan will invent one for us. True, and we already have a definition for the reverse. CNN's Campbell Brown already redefined racism to mean fear of Islam. Back during the election she said that uttering Obama's middle name was race baiting because it invoked people's fear of radical Islam. I would normally suggest that the opposite would be true as well. If as CNN says that I am racist since I don't like you because of your (name sake's) religion then if you don't like me because of my religion that should make you racist as well. However since this redefinition comes from CNN, I would be remiss to not take into account their full original definition of racism. White person who did not vote for Obama = racist Black person who voted for Obama just because he is black = empowered, full of hope and change, definitely not racist
Posted by: Gunstar1 at December 03, 2008 03:17 PM (zh8i1) 27
Does any other religion distinguish between believers and nonbelievers when it comes to the prohibitions against murder and rape?
There's some stuff in the law books that only rabbinical students and Jew-haters care about that's open to that interpretation. It's not hard to guess who reads it what way. Historically, it's not an unusual idea. Islam is the only major religion that openly retains it. Everyone else got over it, more or less, quite a while back. Posted by: The Hated Jew at December 03, 2008 03:19 PM (kyEHq) 28
Has anyone checked with Mike Leach inre this issue? I saw on ESPN the other day where he's some kinda pirate expert and shit.
Posted by: pendejo grande at December 03, 2008 03:21 PM (Eb4hF) 29
Thespotic? (like despotic)
Posted by: right at December 03, 2008 03:27 PM (pMGkg) 30
* We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet. There is also not a good word for the non gender specific singular version of cattle. Cow is female, bull is male, what is the non gender specific word? Coincidence? The irony in this story is thicker than Rosie O’Donnell’s thigh I think not.
Posted by: AndrewsDad at December 03, 2008 03:27 PM (C2//T) 31
The irony in this story is thicker than Rosie O’Donnell’s thigh I think not. It is pretty close, if you shave off the hair first. Posted by: Roy at December 03, 2008 03:32 PM (cB77O) 32
I'll be cheering for a really bloody tie....lots of dead pirates and terrorists will bring a smile to my face...
Posted by: BC at December 03, 2008 03:34 PM (61BD9) 33
I'm sure Sullivan has come up with something like 'Offbrand Christianists'
Posted by: polynikes at December 03, 2008 03:43 PM (m2CN7) Posted by: Flubber at December 03, 2008 03:46 PM (UDqSH) 35
These terrorists are so willing to travel and die in defense of their religion. We should be able to turn this to our advantage - like hack China's (or Venezuela's or Mugabe's, etc) official newspaper and run a cartoon of Mo boinkin' an oinker. Psycho muslims killing each other is pretty good. Psycho muslims directing their anger at our rivals - also good. Posted by: innominatus at December 03, 2008 03:48 PM (jH4Q1) 36
The word is already out there. Personally "Muslim" is the correct term and it's funny as well. Otherwise, Isolamofascist has a nice ring to it. Honestly, it would be good to see some Islamofascist on Islamofascist damage. Tom Jefferson took care of business with the Barbary bit long ago. Time for the fine, young Saudi lads to step up.
Posted by: iowavette at December 03, 2008 03:58 PM (0p4xh) 37
Whoever loses, we win. It's like AVP in reverse. Also, I bet the scriptinjg will be better.
Posted by: Shillelagh at December 03, 2008 04:02 PM (Oz4Bj) 38
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Somolian Pirates and Islamofascist terrorists killing each other? Why I haven't been this upset since the last time I got a blowjob. Yawn. Quit talking about it and get to it al-Shabab. Posted by: Big E at December 03, 2008 04:04 PM (uw1/g) 39
I've been using the word "chauvinism" to describe it:
Men over women. Muslims over non-Muslims. My brother over my cousin. My tribe over your tribe. And for Arab Muslims, Arabs over non-Arabs. That's their attitude. It's "Tribal Chauvinism" And we should be mocking it. Mockery is a very effective weapon. But most comedians won't make fun of them for it, both out of fear for their own safety and because of PC attitudes that have unilaterally disarmed conservatives when it comes to mockery. When lefties make fun of us, they're speaking truth to power. When we make fun of them, we're "mean-spirited." So we give them a monopoly on mockery, and then we act surprised to find that we are objects of derision. We need to go on the offensive making fun of liberals and Muslim extremists. Posted by: Daryl Herbert at December 03, 2008 04:11 PM (vpcJV) 40
Muslims have killed more muslims than anybody else could think about killing. This is just a joke. The one group is mad at the other because they are making money with their piracy and they want to replace them and make money. How about "Islamofashists" for the militants and "Islamofashists in waiting" for the rest of the pile of excrement? Oh, and yes, I do know what true Christianity is. Posted by: TimothyJ at December 03, 2008 04:11 PM (IKKIf) 41
And we should be mocking it. Mockery is a very effective weapon. We need to go on the offensive making fun of liberals and Muslim extremists.
Interviewer: What did he do? Vercotti: He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious. Dinsdale?!? Posted by: connertown at December 03, 2008 04:21 PM (lhJxs) 42
Perhaps the government could subsidize the National Rifle Association to offer a free "Gulf of Aden Luxury Cruise" to lifetime members of the NRA. Cruise guests can bring all their own personal weapons, and free ammunition would be provided by the cruise line. They could raffle chances to fire the .50 cals, the grenade launchers, and the flamethrowers. The only thing better than Terrorists vs. Pirates would be Terrorists vs. Pirates vs. Rednecks. (though, yeah - some ninjas would be cool, or killer robots). Posted by: Jim62sch at December 03, 2008 04:21 PM (X4hru) 43
To join the chorus, terrorists = pirates,
so it's a competition between terrorist pirates and pirate terrorists. Posted by: maverick muse at December 03, 2008 04:21 PM (F1b/5) 44
Men over women.
Muslims over non-Muslims. My brother over my cousin. My tribe over your tribe. And for Arab Muslims, Arabs over non-Arabs. And then Muslims vs. everyone else.. And then when there are no more kaffir to fight, it's Muslim sect X vs. Muslim sect Y. What's this "religion of peace" hooey? Islam is the religion of perpetual war. Posted by: OregonMuse at December 03, 2008 04:22 PM (FO+YO) 45
For those who buy into the idiocy that islam is not racist, talk to any non Saudi muslim living in Saudi Arabia. Non native muslims are charged higher rates for rent, have less access to legal protection, are made to live in what amounts to ghettos with others of their place of origin, and so on and so forth. There is most definitely a racial hierarchy in islam. Posted by: Grimmy at December 03, 2008 04:26 PM (NnF4T) 46
Snore. I know I'm supposed to show outrage here or something. But I'm just getting so tired of this. Can we hear more about how Indian gunships are blowing up pirates please? Posted by: ATNorth at December 03, 2008 04:37 PM (3h3kv) 47
#42--That may be the one thing in this world that could get me to go on a cruise. Sign me up!
Posted by: April at December 03, 2008 04:37 PM (2B3NC) 48
* We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet.
How about Muslim or perhaps Mohammedan? Posted by: Speller at December 03, 2008 04:41 PM (YWMSM) 49
There is also not a good word for the non gender specific singular version of cattle Prime Rib dispensing unit. For those who buy into the idiocy that islam is not racist, talk to any non Saudi muslim living in Saudi Arabia. Non native muslims are charged higher rates for rent, have less access to legal protection, are made to live in what amounts to ghettos with others of their place of origin, and so on and so forth. There is most definitely a racial hierarchy in islam. Yep. I had a couple classes with a Saudi national. Good enough man, definitely a whole hell of a lot better than the Palestinian kid. One tried, the other didn't. Anyways one of the professors/deans of our college was an Indian Muslim. And my classmate mentioned in passing one day how he had to lie about that Professors position to his family in Saudi Arabia when he was receiving some award or something, because of their views on Indian Muslims. They really are second class citizens there. Posted by: buzzion at December 03, 2008 04:44 PM (Lrsi6) 50
The only thing better than Terrorists vs. Pirates would be Terrorists vs. Pirates vs. Rednecks
My money's on the Rednecks, not question about it. You know there would be some magnificent feats of Redneck Engineering. Posted by: alexthechick at December 03, 2008 04:52 PM (SHHaV) 51
This is the problem with Islam today. Preying on those not Muslim is,
if not accepted, then certainly tolerated, and in some cases demanded.
Well actually this is the problem of Islam for the past 1,400 years. They have been doing this sort of thing as well as terror raiding from the beginning. And xenophobic (unreasonable fear or hatred of foreigners or strangers or of that which is foreign or strange.) works for me. Posted by: Travis at December 03, 2008 04:56 PM (8LcXt) 52
I don't agree, Travis. There's no "unreasoning fear", so no phobia. In fact, there appears to be little fear at all, mostly hate and disgust. But we can probably fix that if we have the balls to get nasty with them.
They should be afraid, but they think they're safe. They should be disabused of such silly notions, and damn quick. Posted by: mojo at December 03, 2008 05:34 PM (g1cNf) 53
That tanker provides the solution to the problem.
Add a little napalm and we will have a bonfire that will serve as a serious warning to pirates. Posted by: Marvin at December 03, 2008 05:35 PM (H0Box) 54
We should be attacking the damned pirates, not muslim nutjobs. For them, its a combo training op/PR stunt. 'We protect our own, even against our own, so join the strong horse'. I predict the terrorists - well-funded and motivated - will handily take out the pirates - under-trained, scurvy-ridden, scrawny idiots.
The only lesson the pirates will take home is: OK, we attack infidel boats from now on, so pay attention to whatever flag is flying. I could even see the terrorists working it up into a true protection racket.
Posted by: Evil midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight at December 03, 2008 05:51 PM (gIga4) 55
>>> There is also not a good word for the non gender specific singular version of cattle. Cow is female, bull is male, what is the non gender specific word?
Kine? Or is that plural? I also know another plural is "beeves." So is a beef a single cow? Posted by: ace at December 03, 2008 07:24 PM (8T2pi) 56
Now before we go any deeper into this story let us get some things straight. Piracy is in fact against Islam.
Unless it's committed by Muslims, in which case it's a sacrament. Posted by: lmg at December 03, 2008 07:47 PM (A/vgC) 57
Bring back the old method for pirates HANG THEM and do just what THOMAS JEFFERSON and CAPTIAN DECATIER did GO IN WITH THE USS MISSOIRI and USS IOWA and bombbard them send in the aircraft carriers USS RONALD REAGAN and USS ENTERPRISE and bomb them into submissiopn and screw the stupid UN HUMAN RIGHT PUSSIE WADS
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 03, 2008 10:37 PM (YHJBf) 58
How long before there's a Somali version of Grand Theft Auto? Incidently, I read somewhere that most nations ships (not the US) are bound by a UN treaty that specifies how to deal with pirates. A ship must not fire on a suspected pirate ship, but must send over a boarding party to ask if they are, indeed, pirates. And if you capture a pirate, you are actually better off letting them go. Other than that treaty, all a shipper need do is equip each ship with a small complement of RPG's and the piracy problem goes away. Posted by: steve o at December 03, 2008 10:42 PM (w7tri) 59
why don't we send a few Marines on a cruise ship? they could hang banners on the side of the ship that say "welcome pirates!". we could even leave the accom ladder down so the pirates don't have to get tired climbing a rope to the deck.think of it as a sea borne version of "high plains drifter".Hell the Marines could make some money selling the video!
Posted by: torabora at December 03, 2008 10:45 PM (nB8dm) 60
I think the talk about wronging the Saudis, piracy being anti-Islamic etc is just smoke and mirrors for the locals. The Islamic Courts movement probably intends to take over direction of the piracy operations. There may be some fighting but a deal will be made before long and the jihadis will prevail. Posted by: marymcl at December 03, 2008 11:04 PM (tNdeo) 61
"* We continue needing a word for what fundamentalist Islam is -- it's not racist per se, but it's just like that -- virulently so -- except based on religion rather than race. There doesn't seem to be a good word for it. Yet." Perhaps someone should ask the Darfur moslems if Islam isn't racist. Posted by: Russ at December 04, 2008 08:53 AM (pSoT7) 62
There is no amount of PR that can give these terrorists a good name. Honestly, what are the expecting will happen? They'll save the boat, release the crew, gian a massive amount of support form the illuminati left-wing side of America and then we'll help them overthrow the US government and establish a Caliphate?
Posted by: RJ at December 04, 2008 09:48 PM (7nbTg) 63
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Posted by: dfgasdf at December 08, 2008 05:05 AM (7Yvt1) 64
Pirates used to be hung, no questions asked. Why give up a centuries old tradion now? muslim extremists = homicidal scumbags. If someone wants to kill you, your family and everyone you know and possibly ever met, which is indeed what they want to do, I suggest the best thing to do is to stop worrying about the maniacs rights and blow their brains out. Somalia needs carpet bombing. Most of the middle east needs carpet bombing. We can send in UN administrators to handle the oil production and distribution afterwards.
Oh they always moan and claim that only a minority of muslims are nutjobs. But then you look and you see that saudi arabia jails ans stones women for being raped. You see many muslim countries where women are not allowed to go out without a relative, are forbidden an education, often forbidden medical treatment, are not allowed to work.
Muslim countries are a bunch of backwards savages who rely on the wests willingness to accept their barbarism as just a 'different culture'.
Screw different culture. These people and their religion have no place in a civilised world. The only way to deal with them is extreme force since nothing else is understood or seen as anything other than a sign of weakness.
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