1 Tease

2 FAIL

3 OT: Mayor of unknown party arrested for corruption.

4 On topic:  Her navel appears cavernous!  THAT I would hit.

5 Ain't nothin' wrong with a little junk in the trunk!

6

Now THIS is in my wheelhouse. I don't knows economics, or all this terrorism stuff, but I stand solidly against boney chicks passed off as "sexy."

This woman is gorgeous. I don't want to imply that anyone who disagrees is gay. I'm just saying that, you know, anyone who disagrees is gay.

7 What CJ said..

8

That's too chubby?

Gay guys have no idea what makes a girl beautiful. See, gays like young boys, thus "attractive" to them has no curves. Thus we see the "waif" look as the most popular look in fashion.

Normal guys see that as corpse couture. We need curves as they convey a woman's health and fertility.

9 My position has always been that women dress for other women.  Not necessarily in the way that I would like, but I mean to avoid the cattiness and general bitchiness that infests too much of female interaction.  Of course that's a general rule and doesn't necessarily apply to the lovely, gracious and fantastic women here.  I mean all those other bitches.

As much as I love high fashion, and I truly do, there is something deeply disturbing about how most fashion post The New Look seeks to eliminate female secondary sexual characteristics.  I know, I know, it's all about the line of the dress, blah blah blah.  It's still disturbing.

10 The upside to the story is this makes it way more likely for her to do porn.

11

If she ain't built like a half starved prepubescent boy, she ain't industry standard.

The female modeling industry does push hard at making sickly stickly the form of norm.

12

 I stand solidly against boney chicks passed off as "sexy."

A) Bony chicks are sexy.

B) That chick is bony.

Auschwitz survivors, however, are not sexy.

To recap, sexy:

Thin - yes.

Dying of scurvy - no.

13 Keep in mind that this is a story by Robert Fisk.
OTOH, "Chubby? Meet Chubbie."

14 What a big fat cow.

Also, stockings and garter belts need to make a comeback, big time.  Sex-ay!

15 Lika da curves, no lika da boney ribs and butt

16 Hot or not?  I'll go with hot.  Besides...this is the UK we're talking about here.  It's not like there's a lot to choose from to begin with.  Oh, sure...the hot ones are hawt, but it's not as if there are that many to go around.

17 I'd wrestle my wife over who gets to do her first.

18

Maybe it's just these two pics, but perhaps what the agencies were objecting to were those two airships on her chest.  They look fake.  Maybe they are real, but in those pics, they don't look like it. 

And for the record: fake boobs are not sexy, no matter how much blubber she carries otherwise.

19

A) Bony chicks are sexy.

B) That chick is bony.

Not bony by modeling standards, but yes rather bony.

And, the ONLY reason bony chicks can be passed off as sexy is if they stuff saline bags in their chest to counteract the boneness. Rail-thin women with ample bosoms are quite rare in the wild.

And, it’s just not fair. You can be thin, or booby, but not both. Let the big chicks at least have the superior boobs they’ve earned.  

 

 

20 If she's considered too fat there's something very, very wrong in the world.

21 Verdict: real, not fake. Just pushed up.

22

Isn't it a rule that if your model can't fit into the standard sample size, you call her fat, take a sharpie to her thighs and tell her that her cat's dead?  That's just the way it is, sister.

Mannequins and fashion school dress forms don't eat, that's the problem. 

23 OK, the make-up is on a bit thick, but she's just plain gorgeous. This word "chubby," UK Modeling Agencies... I don't think it means what you think it means. Just wondering. Does "anorexic" mean dead skeleton to these experts of fashion or perfectly formed? And what guy wants to walk around with the human equivalent of a coat hanger anyway, other than the gay designer?

24

And for the record: fake boobs are not sexy

Testify! It must be said.

25 I believe mrobvious that more research is involved.  I humbly volunteer...

26 I just realized that I'm into fat chicks

27 If the next Bond movie decides to not suck, she'd make a good second Bond girl.

28 "Verdict: real, not fake. Just pushed up."

Scots verdict: not proven, one way or the other.  The jury demands more evidence.

29 BTW:  I'd bang it like a screen door in a hurricane.

30

Also, stockings and garter belts need to make a comeback, big time. 

Abso-friggin-lutely.

But for that to happen, skirts and dresses need to make a comeback first.

Women wear pants waaayyyy too much.

31

Verdict: real, not fake. Just pushed up.

I agree.

 

for the record: fake boobs are not sexy

Some are, some aren't. But I'm holding out until they can make the boobs full of chocolate milk. I have faith in medical science.

 

32 Just to think-- five minutes ago my dick was dancing around to James Brown's Living in America.

Now look at it.

Do we have to?  If this is some initiation ritual to become an official moron, I think I'll become a KosKid.

For the record, AOSHQ is becoming pussified.  All these comments and not one "I'd hit it."

Well, I would hit it.  Hard.

33 Seems they never had a problem with Samatha Fox but that of course was in the 80s and she was a whore. The good kind.

34 Look again, Steve L

35 Hey, if they don't want her, I have a place for her.

Because I'm a wonderful guy just looking out for her best interests.

Both of them.

36 Heh... a position on your staff has just become available?

37 She is thin to the point of being very fit for a girl her age but hardly bony and nowhere near chubby. But then a lot of young people in Britain are skeletons and ghouls so comparatively she might be "fat". That's why the British think all you Americans are morbidly obese (and because your media keeps telling them you are) - they consider anyone who can't fit a roll of pennies in between their ribs to be morbidly obese.

38 Saul, does that have anything to do with marathon bouts of drinking and purging?

39

38:

like that's a bad thing?

 

Too bad my hand is injured.

40 Excuse me, but aren't we talking about Britain?  Can they really afford to turn down any attractive British chicks?

41 I nobly volunteer to further explore the real or not question.  You're all welcome. 

And hell.  freaking.  yes. to the stockings and garters comeback.  Hell.  Yes.

42 She appears to have all her teeth.........which puts her way ahead of most of the limey tramps.

43

But can she fit through the hole in the door?

44 Problem is, somebody like her is teh hawt now, but what about 25 years on, and she looks like Mrs. Bucket from "Keeping Up Appearances"?

45 I'm afraid I'd have to kick her out of my bed, should I happen to find her there.

But that's only because I'd want to have a go with her on the floor. Or pehaps the shower. Or kitchen. Where's that stick of butter?

46 My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun!


I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tongue
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3'.

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that 'hard' role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

47 She may be too big for the modeling agency, but she's much too small to be a BBF gal.

48 See, gays like young boys, thus "attractive" to them has no curves.

Not all of them do, you know. Yes, the prototypical ghey man is the twinkie lover - youthful looking, all-skin-and-boner, if you will. But the Bears? they'd be Whatev. A twink isn't very filling. They'd rather go for the "Al Borland" type.

I don't get that, either. Just like I don't get hawt chicks hanging out with douchenozzles...

49

She is already doing some modeling. Check this out.

 

And yes, I would hit it.

50

41 I nobly volunteer to further explore the real or not question.  You're all welcome.

We will of course require video documentation of this Alex.

51 I'd wrestle my wife over who gets to do her first.

500 quatloos on your wife!

52

"But for that to happen, skirts and dresses need to make a comeback first.

Women wear pants waaayyyy too much."

That's one of the things that make Sarah Palin so sexy. She knows how to dress like a woman ... plus she has one great package to dress.

 

53 I'd hit it.

54

"Let the big chicks at least have the superior boobs they’ve earned.  "

Thanks, CJ.  Because at one size bigger than that model, I think I'm noticably chubbier.  But at least I can claim the superior boobs!

55 Sarah Palin is a size 0. And you can have curves and be pretty thin, depending on your frame.

56 And what's wrong with pants?

57 I mean, I like a nice dress or skirt, but pants are not the anti-sexxy.

58 Built for comfort, not for speed.

59 If that's a UK 10, she's an American size 6.

Uk size 0 is size 4.

60

Posted by: Sir Mixalot at December 01, 2008 03:41 PM (Gzb30)

 

Mmmmm- a girl with so much junk in the trunk, you can't even shut the lid *Homer drool*

61 Rather, Uk size 4 is an American size 0.

62 Too chubby? I remember when Britain used to not be 100% gay.

63 It's like dog years.

64

If that's a UK 10, she's an American size 6.

OH!  That explains that...

65 I'd nail it.

66 Heroin chic?  No thanks.  This lass I'd hit like a viking.

67 "And hell.  freaking.  yes. to the stockings and garters comeback.  Hell.  Yes.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 01, 2008 03:33 PM (SHHaV)"

I may never leave my bunk again.

68 Damn sockpuppets.

Seriously, if this is too fat for the UK, then unleash the Daleks and get out of the way.

69
Pants are utilitarian, but they are definitely anti-sexy.   How do I know?  My devining rod never lies.

70 1.) My girlfriend agrees with the theory espoused by Ace, that the fashion industry's current predilection for rail-thin androgynous models is due to its domination by homosexual men, who naturally and subconsciously select for what they like (young wiry males). 

2.) She also points out that this wasn't always the case in the fashion industry, and that these things go in cycles.  In her verbatim words: "Look at Cindy Crawford - all boobs and butt, curves everywhere.  But she would never have a chance of becoming a supermodel with the current aesthetic."

3.) I'd hit it in a minute provided a.) I was single; b.) they weren't fake.  I stand with CJ: I'll take smaller real breasts over larger phony ones any day of the week and twice on Sunday.  Perhaps one day America's finest medical/cosmetic researchers will achieve a breast implant that is both real-looking and real-feeling.  Until that day,  they're disgusting.  Hell...probably after that day, too.

71

pants are not the anti-sexxy.

Compared to skirts, yes, they pretty much are.

72 My skinny jeans dispute your theory of pants.

73 bend her over and load her like a shotgun..

74 "My skinny jeans dispute your theory of pants."

Hussy!  Jezebelle!

75

Thanks, CJ.  Because at one size bigger than that model, I think I'm noticably chubbier.  But at least I can claim the superior boobs!

My wife is several sizes bigger than that model, April. A great face and a great chest.  If she has to worry about her hips (which God gave her) the skinny chicks should have to worry about the boobs.

And guys just worry that you'll talk to us.

76 My grandma used to own a bridal shoppe and I figured out then and it still holds true today.  Women's clothing sizes are pretty much random and don't mean a thing.

77

Pants are utilitarian, but they are definitely anti-sexy.  

I never got that opinion. Pants show the female form. The woman's, um...ass.

Call me old fashioned, but I like seeing the form of a woman's ass.

78

pants are not the anti-sexxy.

Compared to skirts, yes, they pretty much are.

Posted by: Entropy at December 01, 2008 04:49 PM (m6c4H)

If you're into librarians, sure.

79 Pants on woman can be sexy, but too many woman wear baggy pants, making them indistinguishable from boys, which isn't sexy.

For the most part, skirts and dresses are inherently sexier.

And stockings with garters under skirts or dresses are really teh hawt.

80

Pants on woman can be sexy, but too many woman wear baggy pants, making them indistinguishable from boys, which isn't sexy.

True, but what's more baggy than a skirt?

Of course, I'm not a legs guy....maybe that's the problem.

81 "True, but what's more baggy than a skirt?"

Skirts aren't necessarily baggy, but even the baggy ones are still fundamentally feminine in a way that baggy pants are not.

Plus, of course, there's the whole "easy access" thing.

82 Speaking of access, I've always wondered how women feel about men in kilts?

83 With their hands, Mr. Peabody.

With their hands.

84

My skinny jeans dispute your theory of pants.

No. Even the tight pants are really not sexy.

They can be - if you use them sparingly. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

But when you wear pants - even tight pants - 6 days a week or more, it's simply not at all sexy.

85

If you're into librarians, sure.

Who's not into naughty librarians?

Palinmania baby.

Everyone wants to be the one to make the beautiful but mousy, chaste bookworm finally let her hair down and go wild doggystyle on the kitchen table.

86 My skinny jeans dispute your theory of pants.

I hope those aren't the emo/indie calf-hugging variety that the kids are wearing these days (Seriously, how do they get their feet through those?  The ones in the 80s at least had little zippers on the calves).  Those things have a serious ass-flattening effect on about 98% of their wearers.  That's flattening, not flattering.

OTOH, I'm not a big fashionista, but I have become well aware of (and give two huge thumbs up to) the "Seven for All Mankind" brand, thanks to its label being placed right where I happen to usually be staring on women who are wearing them.  Those things must be the equivalent of a WonderBra for the ass -- I suspect that a lot of the women who wear them don't have nearly as hot-looking back-ends when they wear other brands.

Pants on woman can be sexy, but too many woman wear baggy pants, making them indistinguishable from boys, which isn't sexy.

If the baggy pants are made from a thin fabric with just the right balance between flowing and clinging, they can be quite bonerific.

But when you wear pants - even tight pants - 6 days a week or more, it's simply not at all sexy.

Tight pants 6 days a week or more is a recipe for bad things to be going on "down there."  I think the companies that make those skinny jeans must be part-owned by the makers of Monistat.

87 By the way, whatever became of that truly chubby UK girl who was in some beauty pageant or other a year or so ago -- was that the Miss UK competition or a different one?  Girl had a lovely face but was seriously into "Whole Lotta Rosie" territory.  Curves are nice, and "more bounce to the ounce" isn't just a song title, but she was a little past maximum density.

88 You know, to be fair, Billie Piper wore baggy jeans on Doctor Who, and she looked really sexy.  Of course, she had curves, too.

89

I would voluntarily wear a kilt if we could just banish pants altogether and go back in time and wack the dude who invented them. So no chick could wear them. Even the occaisional sexy pants, are an easy sacrifice to get women back in skirts and dresses.

And of course, their legs will get cold. So they'll start wearing knee-high and thigh-high stockings and garter belts, of course.

And that, sirs, is page motherfuckin 1 of my plan for a new utopia once I become Generalisimo Por Vive.

Step 3 will be to fire the UAW, rename Toyota 'General Motors East', and replace CAFTA and emissions standards with regulations instead mandating a minimum naturally-aspirated horsepower of 400 for all street legal vehicles.

Step 2 will be free steak tacos.

Step 7 will be to send all the communists to Canada.

The steps will not be done in numerical order but rather in accordance with a strict secret plan known only to me and my cabinet and closest advisers, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

90 Fist. Angry. God.

91 Billie Piper her dental work like a chimp, and her chest is meh

92

I would voluntarily wear a kilt if we could just banish pants altogether and go back in time and wack the dude who invented them.

And of course, their legs will get cold.

 

Umm..... our legs would get cold! In case you had not noticed, women have more cold resistance then we do. It's that extra body fat business.

 

 

93

Basically I'm going to be like the white Muammar al-Qaddafi.

My Sexy Secret Service of ninja kunoichi will fuck you up, and look great doing it.

Trust me, the rematch against Vietnam is going to look like a director's cut of Kill Bill.

94 She's a size  0, no wonder other women hate her guts, where'd you dredge that fact anyways. 

95

Umm..... our legs would get cold!

Jesus Christ Nancy, I can't believe you said that.

What are you a sissy? Of course your legs are cold... you don't admit that! You just pretend like it doesn't bother you because you're a tough guy...

You sir, are going up against the wall. That's gonna be step 47. I'm penciling it in.

96

Size zero? Do the clothes makers just make this shit up to make women feel good? Oh, right. Stupid question.

 

97

Of course your legs are cold... you don't admit that!

I thought you were going to say that we'd all wear mantyhose.  (Look it up)

98

Model agencies don't want hot women to distract people from their clothing. Given a choice I'd think they would prefer robotic clothes hangers on the catwalk.

As for me, I'd hit that like a red-headed kid in a family of brunettes.

99

Hot woman enhance clothes!  Fuck. 

Fashion Queers would use teenage boys if they thought they could get away with it.  As it is they use the next best thing;  flat chested broads who could use a sandwich or two, or four.

100 What this woman needs is protein injections.

/ ...because I care about her.

101 I'd hit that like Keith Moon with a new drum kit and a brain full of methamphetamine.

102 If she doesn't have a home at the modelling agaency, there's always room for her in my flat.

103

>>but pants are not the anti-sexxy.

 

only chicks think that's true.

104

With #6 on this one.

 

105 I showed this lady's photo to my Cardiologist and he said "take two nitroglycerin tablets and call me in the morning, if you can".

106

To be very blunt about things -

I don't know what the rest of you morons are doing tonight but I know what I am - and who is going to first in my fantasies!

God is very, very good!  His creation is worthy of praise!  Can I hear an 'Amen'?

107 Ace, you have a girlfriend.  Beating it is one of her affirmative duties.  You no longer have to do it yourself. 

108 I never thought it was MEN who were making women "starve themselves". This supports what I have always  known. Yes the fashion industry likes em  bone thin - they get paid to be "coat hangars". Men like real women, but not slobs with  cankles. OK, Zelda gets it!

109 Men in kilts, yes please. Mmmm.

May I add something? Stockings *with the seam up the back* and garters.

110 Well, I did a google image search on "Laura Coleman" and came up with this one.

So maybe she did pack on a few....

111 #109 KILTS you say??? Thre is a fetish I have been trying to hide. Pleez destry my computer on my death bed lest I be found out. Call me lass (not laasiie you morons) ntil I lay me doon and dee.

112 "May I add something? Stockings *with the seam up the back* and garters."

Like this?

113 She might not be anyone's perfect woman... but I'd have to say that any man who cannot at least acknowledge the general attractiveness of the above-mentioned specimen is batting for the other team, IYKWIMAITYD

114 LOL, I was thinking more like:

http://tinyurl.com/56czq4

115 http://tinyurl.com/5obtm5

That works, too...

116 Whoa, that's one cavernous belly button. You could hide several WMDs in there.

117

#112 notropis:

No.  No and NO.

118 Best euphemism I've ever heard for masterbation, Ace.

119 There they go again, homos ruining straight women with tits.  She said she put on some curves; was it the implants?  Those are great curves, and I know how much homos hate tits.

120 Men don't affect women as much as those dumb women's magazines. May they all go out of business.

Yes, garters and stockings are great and more women should wear them. I have to disagree on the seams, though. Not necessary, a hassle to keep straight and not so classy looking.

121

Yes. Women's magazines do push the skinny chick thing, but in my case I haven't read one of those in years and did my very best to try and keep them out of the hands of my daughter when she was a teen. Every friggin one of them has a cover declaring: "How to Lose the Weight!", "How to have Great Sex!", "What isn't He Telling You?!"

It's all crap.

However, having been a size 2-4 after giving birth at age 18, and wearing size 4-6 until my mid-30s, I can tell you that it is women who are harshest on themselves. Now in my 40s, the thought of accepting myself in my current configuration of size 8-10 is simply not going to happen. I just bitch and moan about it and since, obviously, I sit on my ass reading this moron blog night after night, I'm also not motivated enough to hit the gym either.

So, I've settled on dressing for my shape instead of hiding it, a.k.a. Joan Holloway and otherwise to never ever be seen naked again.

 

122

Mooo

 

Needs more cowbell?

123 I'd shag her rotten, YEAH!

124 Oh, and to be pedantic, she's Miss England, not "Miss UK."  To round out the other Home Nations for your viewing pleasure...

Here's Miss Scotland: http://tinyurl.com/5hau45

Miss Wales: http://tinyurl.com/6ppwd2

and Miss Northern Ireland: http://tinyurl.com/5r6esr

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