Hot: Obese Gay Man Poses Naked for "Chubby Mikey" Calendar
I was going to do one of those misleading headlines like "Calender Features Enormous Naked Hooters" but seems unnecessarily cruel. Maybe if we'd won the election.The Sun article, with one nude (no actual naughty bits, but it's obviously distasteful):
The site's here; light content warning. Again, no actual penis, as it's discretely hidden under multiple rolls of undulating he-tits. Heh: Bruce Lee playing table tennis. With nunchuks, naturally.
1 Cor blimey!!! It's like a massive traffic accident. You try not to look, but....
Then you wonder; did anyone get hurt? Did anyone get left behind? OMG! Someone's still in there and he's trying to get out!
Posted by: spice at November 24, 2008 05:10 AM (c14cm)
2 Are you sure that isn't "Andy?"
Posted by: myiq2xu at November 24, 2008 05:33 AM (2WD/G)
3 No naughty bits? With all the blubber on that boy, I doubt Chubby Mikey could find his naughty bits with both hands even if he stood under a 500 watt halogen.
Imagine Chubby Mikey using your toilet? Aim, Chubby Mikey, aim! Aim, dammit! So he aims a belly fold whilst pee dribbles from the naughty bit hidden someplace or the other.
Posted by: indga at November 24, 2008 05:35 AM (drXoU)
4 Imagine Chubby Mikey using your toilet?
Now I have to clean vomit off my keyboard
Posted by: myiq2xu at November 24, 2008 05:49 AM (2WD/G)
5 Yeesh... It's like seeing the tide come in.
Posted by: DoDoGuRu at November 24, 2008 06:07 AM (xBkZj)
6 Why is everything getting so Ghey lately? Gay and morbidly obese. The article doesn’t say how smart he is so we don’t know if he gets 3 out of 3 or not.
Posted by: Vic at November 24, 2008 06:18 AM (Qd7GC)
7 That is NOT "chubby", I'm sorry, that's FAT.
Posted by: Kay at November 24, 2008 06:29 AM (svE22)
8 That'll keep you off red meat for a while.
Posted by: sdkruiser at November 24, 2008 06:29 AM (KtmCv)
9 Thanks, Ace. Now I am compelled to go exercise. I feel sick...
Posted by: In Exile at November 24, 2008 07:01 AM (B4tZx)
10 Admit it: most of you morons were turned on by his tits.
Posted by: Perry Mason at November 24, 2008 07:07 AM (DIMIi)
11 yeah, all 14 of them
Posted by: Frank G at November 24, 2008 07:18 AM (P0rQD)
12 When all of these obese shitheads of both sexes gives this "Oh I think I'm really sexy" and "There's more of me to love" disgusting horseshit, I hope God chuckles and says "Yeah, there's a stairmaster in Hell and Satan's low-fat jizz that's waiting for you!!"
Posted by: Captain Hate at November 24, 2008 07:27 AM (m2sQh)
13 Hello, people, it's called THE GYM.
Honestly, I can't understand why people would want to put up with carrying all that weight around. Up and down stairs. Everything must be exhausting.
There's a morbidly obese chick who works out with a trainer at my gym. My knees hurt just watching her.
Posted by: Carin at November 24, 2008 07:41 AM (H37Gq)
14 I believe the headline you were looking for was: "Calender Features Enormous Boob"
Posted by: J at November 24, 2008 08:11 AM (AvBFl)
15 Reminds me of an interview with Ann Wilson when she was unhealthily ginormo. She was saying that when she looked in the mirror, she saw the same skinny sexy woman. Talk about self-esteem!
Posted by: TMQ at November 24, 2008 08:13 AM (aMu45)
16 Dear Carin,
I'm not fat. I'm big boned.
Posted by: Eric Cartman at November 24, 2008 08:18 AM (tauPe)
17 And I have a glandular problem.
Posted by: Eric Cartman at November 24, 2008 08:19 AM (tauPe)
18 That thing could feed a starving village in Africa
Posted by: Tushar at November 24, 2008 08:25 AM (PTWes)
19 You know, I try to stay open-minded. Really. I do. People come in all sizes and all colors, and way back in Sunday School we sang "...they are precious in His sight".
But what really gets me is not the idea of an obese gay man putting out a nudie calendar. I am really struck with two points...
* Somewhere there is a "piercing artist" who was paid money to handle this Boob's boob (to add to J's point). [A parenthetical, and totally frightening thought: Is this the Boob's only piercing?]
* "Martin Stone Hennessee" proudly put his name on this calendar too. What else mightwe findin his portfolio?
Posted by: azlibertarian at November 24, 2008 08:43 AM (q6Lb+)
20 Looks aside - honestly I can't imagine what it would be like to attempt the simplest tasks being that large.
I'm 40, and aside from trying to look good, I want to feel good. Have energy all day long. It isn't totally a superficial issue.
Posted by: Carin at November 24, 2008 08:47 AM (H37Gq)
21 When your that big the damage is already done. There's no cosmetic reason to lose weight since the skin is so stretched out that even if you got down to normal it would look like you were wearing a parachute.
Posted by: DoDoGuRu at November 24, 2008 08:59 AM (xBkZj)
22 Guess that will make us push back some of that turkey thursday, NOT!
My eyes! Oh, and my the way when he flys in Canada he is now entitled to TWO seats!
Posted by: kempermanx at November 24, 2008 09:02 AM (2+9Yx)
23 Even my morning coffee curdled..I'll skip the scrambled eggs.
It's getting difficult to "live and let live". Thanks.a.lot,ace.
Posted by: sickinmass at November 24, 2008 09:09 AM (/i4dU)
24 You know....you made me snort my coffee! But, I completely forgive you bc your description was ALL the picture I needed! Thanks for a great laugh to start my Thanksgiving week!
PURE GOLD, ACE!
"Again, no actual penis, as it's discretely hidden under multiple rolls of undulating he-tits."
Posted by: freetofly at November 24, 2008 09:10 AM (adJKW)
25 well, there went breakfast - two days in a row! Thanks again, moron.
Posted by: Ann at November 24, 2008 09:11 AM (c3H+i)
26 Y'know, Ace, if you advertise this new diet program you've started, you might make some chump change. You could call it "Start your day pukin' at Ace's".
On the other hand, if you're looking for chimp change, there's probably some hidden in dem dare folds. I dare ya!!!
Seriously, my daughter did her internship at the psych ward. They took in a morbidly obese woman one night that was afraid of squirrels, no less. Anywho, they had to shower her because,,,,,,well, she had squirrels in the shower and was afeared to, I guess. They found a half a bag of cashews, a roll of scotch tape and a used moldy Kotex. No dead squirrels tho.
Posted by: Ann at November 24, 2008 09:19 AM (c3H+i)
27 Hey Kemp, you forgot that the Canadian libs 'accidently' misrepresented Southwest policy claiming that our hefty friends get a "free" seat if the armrest don't fit.
Posted by: In Exile at November 24, 2008 09:20 AM (B4tZx)
28 That was not necessary.
Posted by: the real joe at November 24, 2008 09:23 AM (NJ/RA)
29 So what my husband tells me is true.
ALL male models are gay.
Posted by: lauraw at November 24, 2008 09:26 AM (h8Pdb)
30 Yuck Ann.
though, I suppose we should just be happy you didn't report they found a midget in her folds ....
Posted by: Carin at November 24, 2008 09:27 AM (H37Gq)
31 "I feel sexy and attractive so that's the way I act," says Mikey. "I don't see why I can't pose up for photos like any other male model.
These words "sexy and attractive" you keep using? I don't think they mean..........awwww fuck it......that joke's been done to death.
Super-morbidly-obese man deluded by his own percieved sexiness and attractiveness. But mostly attractiveness.
There that's better.
Hey what's the over/under on this guys BMI? I'm going with 66.7. What say you morons?
Posted by: pendejo grande at November 24, 2008 09:27 AM (Y65Rl)
32 I was gonna try to copy one of the pics from his website to use as my avatar on some other messageboards that allow such.
What? Lots of morons use famous actors ormodel's pictures rather than their own.
Posted by: pendejo grande at November 24, 2008 09:31 AM (Y65Rl)
33 Somehow the thought of this loon and that hefty judge from Las Vegas getting together in the same room... oh, wait, there was a movie made of that, back in the late 40's... "When Worlds Collide..."
Posted by: NHGuy at November 24, 2008 09:31 AM (kLk/O)
34 Arrrgghh... My eyes are burning... make it stop!!! Must ... claw ... out ... poison ... from ... eyes...
Posted by: CCooper at November 24, 2008 09:44 AM (N/k4Z)
35 This is a perfect example why I do not want universal health care. I can't even imagine how much health care cost him.
Posted by: Ginger at November 24, 2008 09:45 AM (s/emF)
36 "When Worlds Collide..." I just threw up again...dammit If it happened at Yale, they would call it an art thesis.
Posted by: In Exile at November 24, 2008 09:45 AM (B4tZx)
37 I bet his wife/girlfriend dances around in a Princess Leia gold bikini for her "Lil Jabba".
Posted by: mrcaniac at November 24, 2008 09:49 AM (Rbulg)
38 While the video of Bruce Lee playing ping-pong with nunchucks is the only part of this post worthy of a comment, I'm just too much of a skeptic to believe something that awesome actually did happen.
Now if only I could prove it's fake...but part of me doesn't want to.
Posted by: conservativeinthecity at November 24, 2008 10:07 AM (i3tSP)
39 This is a perfect example why I do not want universal health care. I can't even imagine how much health care cost him.
Britain and NZ don't give health care to fatties (but they'll tax 'em!). And by "fat" they mean BMI over 30, which isn't necessarily fat--it's most of the NBA.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 24, 2008 10:07 AM (yG+tb)
40 Whoa, Ace, that was .... different. Moved on from Valu-Rite to mainlining pure absinthe have you?
At this rate, you'll get links from Sullivan -- or is that the intent?
The One gets elected and everybody goes friggin' insane.
Posted by: prairiemain at November 24, 2008 10:14 AM (oPAYR)
41 "Mikey likes it!" Yeah, obviously he likes everything. And dude, a baby is "chubby." I actually feel bad for anyone who is this overweight. There is no way that everyday life isn't a chore for this guy. As Dr. Laura says, "Eat less and move more." I can't help it, I'm addicted to Dr. Laura.
Posted by: SalvucciFumbles at November 24, 2008 10:25 AM (UBX7i)
42 This guy was on MTV recently. I think it was "True Life: I'm a Beached Whale" or some such thing, I wasn't paying too close attention to the inane titles. I was surprised the guy could walk, but apparently he's able to shuffle to the Chubby Chaser gay bar of his own power and stuff his face full of bear claws without much trouble.
Posted by: DoDoGuRu at November 24, 2008 10:49 AM (xBkZj)
43 It would take a Texas size herd of gerbils to satisfy this freak. Fortunately, there aren't enough gerbils in the world to meet his needs, and he can thank the other fag Barney Fwank for the GDA, or gerbil depletion allowance.
Posted by: Fish at November 24, 2008 11:20 AM (6Rihj)
44 Holy Living Fuck. I bet he makes a living writing cookbooks. "1001 Ways to Eat Frumunda Cheese". Can't be any worse than the last cookbook referenced on this site.
Posted by: mongo at November 24, 2008 11:24 AM (xaCnc)
45 Meh. It just looks like Rosie O'Donnell when she forgets to shave.
Posted by: Roy at November 24, 2008 11:35 AM (bbF7d)
46 GET your 2009 Chubby Mikey Calendar now at chubbymikey.com
. Or not.
Posted by: Richard Romano at November 24, 2008 11:58 AM (kycO9)
47 Perez Hilton's new boyfriend!
Posted by: AGR at November 24, 2008 12:13 PM (r8a5Z)
Posted by: RAWMUSCLGLUTES at November 24, 2008 01:07 PM (ho1w2)
49 I hate you Ace.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
At least have the decency to provide Draino to pour into our eyes after seeing that. OMG I feel ill now...
Posted by: John at November 24, 2008 03:31 PM (nAxsL)
50 Next week's posting will be "Granny Trannies." Oh, the horror, the horror . . .
Posted by: Coogen at November 24, 2008 03:37 PM (h4UWR)
51 Honestly, I can't understand why people would want to put up with
carrying all that weight around. Up and down stairs. Everything must be
It is. Or rather, it was. 110 lbs. down, another 80 or so to go. My life is immeasurably improved in every conceivable way. That bullshit about "big is beautiful" and "there's more of me to love?" It's a big fat fucking lie told by fat people to other fat people so they don't have to face the fact that 99.995% of them can't stop sucking down butter and cheese and KFC by the trailer-load long enough to lose a pound a year.
Fat sucks. Clothes are expensive, groceries are expensive, walking, standing, sitting, everything hurts all the time and it's so god-damned tiring. Now I can do shit. And you know what? This crap about how men and women as fat as Chubby Mike there can have full, rewarding sex lives? Total BULLSHIT. Sex gets exponentially better with every ten pounds I lose.
Stop eating enough for three and start eating enough for one. Go to the gym. Obesity problem solved. Next up: Taxes, then I tackle the hobo disposal problem...wood chipper or thermite, I haven't decided yet.
Posted by: JimK at November 24, 2008 03:41 PM (+ojig)
52 While the video of Bruce Lee playing ping-pong with nunchucks is the
only part of this post worthy of a comment, I'm just too much of a
skeptic to believe something that awesome actually did happen.
I doubt the clip as well. Bruce Lee is wearing the outfit he wore in the "Game of Death." Also, he never looks at all at the ball.
Posted by: Coogen at November 24, 2008 03:44 PM (h4UWR)
53 This is a perfect example why I do not want universal health care. I can't even imagine how much health care cost him.
But when you factor in his rather short life expectancy, the health-care costs might not actually be that bad.
As to Chubby Mikey's gay sex life, keep in mind that the only guys interested in him, presumably, are going to be extremely dedicated fetishists who for whatever reason eroticize morbid obesity. And while there may very few people in the world who would consider him a desirable "lover," any such person would be, I assume, a very, very motivated sex partner.
Posted by: Throbert McGee at November 24, 2008 04:03 PM (NwOTJ)
54 Some of you people are just morons. First of all, there are all kinds of people in the world out there - something for everyone. Just because YOU don't find Mikey to be a sexy guy does NOT mean there aren't many people who DO. Clearly there are. He's sold a lot of calendars. And he's sexy inside as well as outside. Something most people on this forum clearly are NOT.
You don't like it? Fine. You don't HAVE to. But to just rip him apart like this is so uncalled for. After all, he IS a human being... and clearly a better one than most people on this particular forum. There is NO good reason for tearing someone apart you do not even know.
Posted by: Fred at November 26, 2008 01:38 PM (oa7Ja)
55 I think he is cute.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
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AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
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George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
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Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
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My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)