Somali pirates: modern day Robin Hoods... heros... <i>redistributors</i> of wealth

Somali pirates: modern day Robin Hoods... heros... redistributors of wealth

The Associated Press apparently the pirates. They bring hope and change.

...in an impoverished country where every public institution has crumbled, they have become heroes in the steamy coastal dens they operate from because they are the only real business in town...

...In Haradhere, residents came out in droves to celebrate as the looming oil ship came into focus this week off the country's lawless coast. Businessmen started gathering cigarettes, food and cold glass bottles of orange soda, setting up small kiosks for the pirates who come to shore to re-supply almost daily.
Dahir said she is so confident in the pirates, she instituted a layaway plan just for them.
"They always take things without paying and we put them into the book of debts," she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. "Later, when they get the ransom money, they pay us a lot."...

..."Regardless of how the money is coming in, legally or illegally, I can say it has started a life in our town," said Shamso Moalim, a 36-year-old mother of five in Haradhere.
"Our children are not worrying about food now, and they go to Islamic schools in the morning and play soccer in the afternoon. They are happy."

HOPE. CHANGE. PIRACY.

If one were just a bit cynical, they might cite this as an independent validation of how trickle down economics would really work in an unregulated economy.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 11:42 PM

Comments

1 Undercover Brothers. Orange Soda. Heh.

Posted by: Stitches at November 19, 2008 11:44 PM (KyqYb)

2 I'd like to give 'em all a present.......and wipe the freakin' town off the map.

Posted by: GarandFan at November 19, 2008 11:45 PM (eJ32B)

3 HopeyChange = Anarchy.

I'm sure that Robespierre would be proud. If his own mob hadn't cut off his head.

Posted by: thirtypundit at November 19, 2008 11:47 PM (Qd57B)

4 Hater.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 19, 2008 11:47 PM (OqXyp)

5 As I said in a previous post, we need to understand the pirates and feel their pain. We need to talk to them, hear them out, without pre-conditions. Haven't we had enough unilateral cowboyism for the past 8 years? Let's give diplomacy and honest dialogue a chance to work.

Posted by: Bob at November 19, 2008 11:48 PM (XWJh5)

6 "Fuckin' Irene!"

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at November 19, 2008 11:48 PM (sfjJC)

Wonder if this economic model will be studied at the Wharton School?

F#%king great!

Posted by: AZDREAMER at November 19, 2008 11:48 PM (VMUpX)

8 Oh yes, it's all hope, change and piracy until the Reapers and Predators start buzzing around. Enjoy it while you can ya dopes. You've made yourselves too big of a nusance to be ignored.

Posted by: Warthog at November 19, 2008 11:48 PM (WDySP)

9 This is an example of what may await us under Obamunism given enough years. Hobos galore!

So why do I feel like tearing up the kitchen when I read stories like this??

Posted by: Stitches at November 19, 2008 11:49 PM (KyqYb)

10 I'd go with shore bombardment -- we know that'll work.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 19, 2008 11:49 PM (OqXyp)

11 Somebody wanna inform the AP that these guys are real. No eye patches, parrots, wooden legs, rum, flouncy blouses... I think. Maybe they really are fucking awesome! Thanks, AP!

Posted by: Amanda at November 19, 2008 11:53 PM (WHzLu)

12 Need to see some Live Leak video on these bastards.

Posted by: AZDREAMER at November 19, 2008 11:53 PM (VMUpX)

13 I say we take off and nuke the place from orbit.

Posted by: Vinnie at November 19, 2008 11:53 PM (idf83)

14 OK, I read that article.
Did we just enter bizarro world? Is that reporter really lauding the great things the pirates do?

Then I read the reporters name.

Yep, it's Mohamed.

K

Posted by: Kestrel♠ at November 19, 2008 11:55 PM (w8T8g)

15 They have money for school and soccer, and the government doles out public beatings and lashings. Fucking beautiful. Glad these pig fuckers can enjoy the American dream.

Posted by: Silk-Wearing Nancy at November 19, 2008 11:58 PM (EJmQG)

16 We should reactivate the Iowa. Ain't nothing like a battle wagon and its 16" guns rolling up on your crib to drive home the point that you fucked up really really bad.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 19, 2008 11:58 PM (OqXyp)

well of course they love pirates.

their preferred presidential candidate (now president-elect) ran on a platform of taking stuff from people, then giving that stuff to other people, to the racuous applause of the latter.

what, i gotta draw a fuckin picture?

sheesh.

Posted by: jdub at November 19, 2008 11:58 PM (hUStE)

18 ALLAH ARGGGBAR!!!

Posted by: A Somali Pirate at November 19, 2008 11:59 PM (Gv4O0)

19 Hey, where are those pirates from? Somalia? That place kinda sounds familiar.

Where would Somalians ever get the idea they can just go out and give the world the finger and hijack ships without any consequences?

Posted by: liontooth at November 20, 2008 12:02 AM (n3pxb)

20 Good thing they've got their Islamic schools to teach them all the necessary life skills they'll need to grow up and become the next generation of pirates.

Posted by: Xander Crews at November 20, 2008 12:05 AM (Aac1T)

21 Pirates are defeated when you take control of their bases and ports and not before. This is going to go on for a while.

Posted by: Christoph at November 20, 2008 12:06 AM (hawOV)

22 Hmmm wealth redistribution from the bottom up. Trickle up economics. Take money away from the producers of wealth and give to those who don't have it. Where have I heard this idea again?

Ah the joys of the age of Obama. I'm half surprised they didn't storm the ships mounted on unicorns.

Posted by: 80 Proof at November 20, 2008 12:06 AM (Q+6qd)

23 The Barbary coast pirates?
Little Lenin Obama?
Al Franken in the Senate?
Russia becoming more capitalist than America?

Why do I think Michael J Fox is going to show up in a silver Delorian explaining that its not supposed to be like this, and I have to go back to the future to make things right? WTF?

Posted by: Travis at November 20, 2008 12:10 AM (2xHh/)

24 Stephen Decatur Jr knew how to deal with this sort of thing two hundred years ago.
No need for long sailing voyages today.
Just as the city depends on the pirates for cash, the pirates depend on the city for material. Blow 'em up real good, and they won't be back.... although after seventy years of neglect there is a lot of blowing up to be done. India can't do it all.

Posted by: Potosi Joel at November 20, 2008 12:11 AM (TPRbZ)

Pirates are defeated when you take control of their bases and ports and not before. This is going to go on for a while.

This is substantially correct, I think. I wonder, however, if deterrence (in terms of violence directed against pirates) might reap large dividends than with, for example, terrorists.

How long will these bases and ports cheer when their blessed pirates stop coming home? (And by this i mean imprisonment as well as lethal force.)

I can't really support my first instinct, which would be to denude the sea of all non-authorized shipping traffic posthaste, and let the rest sort itself out. But the idea is tempting.

Posted by: jdub at November 20, 2008 12:13 AM (hUStE)

Pirate shmirates! We got bigger fish fryin' right here in the good ol' U.S. of O'Biden. Can you smell it? mmmm mmmmm!

Praise the Lawd! The Obama Rally continues today on Wall Street:

S&P 500, Nasdaq Plummet to 5-Year Lows Dow -427.47 at 7997.28, Nasdaq -96.85 at 1386.42, S&P -52.54 at 806.58 May the good Lord continue to bless America's first half-wit half-white President and his magnificent rainbows and unicorns.

Posted by: SnakePlizzken at November 20, 2008 12:13 AM (ZcQ/V)

27 an A-10 for the first American flag taken! From the shores of Tripoly..

Posted by: sickinmass at November 20, 2008 12:13 AM (/i4dU)

28 Pirates are heroes? Someone's been watching a little too much Pirates of the Caribbean. News flash for Mr. Mohamed "Somali Pirates Transform Villages into Boomtown" Hassan: There really are dangerous pirates, not happy fun people just looking for an adventure. They cost people and businesses lots of money and even lives. They deserve to be killed. There are no men with an octopus for a face, or giant sea beasts controlled by men that destroy ships.

Unless by sea beasts you mean the missles that we should shoot both at the pirates and those that support them. Then yes those are real. Coming soon to a Somali Pirateship near you.

Posted by: Brendenty84 at November 20, 2008 12:14 AM (54lqZ)

29 This should make Michael Savage apoplectic. He said just yesterday how our first divisions of marines in the newly minted navy went ashore and took out these villages until the goddanmed pirating stopped back in the day, say 1785. You can't fight them at sea. Too much ground to cover and not worth the waste of petrol. Just go ashore and clean it up from the inside out. Today it'll never happen so get ready for the great spiral down as this kind of stuff becomes a daily occurence.

Posted by: pc at November 20, 2008 12:15 AM (S7zPk)

I have to say it. It needs to be said.

Its obama's fault.

Posted by: Ginger at November 20, 2008 12:16 AM (s/emF)

31 Just noting that we keep accepting the Left's memes.

Robin Hood stole from government. And returned the money to... the taxpayers.

Posted by: Al at November 20, 2008 12:19 AM (Lk931)

Napalm sticks to children!

Wipe out the villages and the pirates disappear. If we're to squeamish, can't we hire the Ruskies or the PRC to do it?

Posted by: Holdfast at November 20, 2008 12:29 AM (Gzb30)

33 Why is being a law abiding, non-drug addicted, non-alcoholic, hard working taxpayer looking like a huge sucker bet? It's a mystery!

Posted by: alexthechick at November 20, 2008 12:30 AM (NkoQh)

34 SnakePlizzken#26 you'll love this
"Buffet' Berkshire Falls Most in at Least 23 Years" (bloomberg.com)

Hey Buffy, how ya feeling about Obama now, asshole?

Posted by: liontooth at November 20, 2008 12:31 AM (n3pxb)

35 I think we need to bring back a tactic from WWII. Random normal merchant vessels with hidden deck guns and trained military on board. Just like concealed carry these pricks will be skittish to attack when they don't know which ship will fight back.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at November 20, 2008 12:32 AM (MOdlB)

36 I laughed when I read about Buffet taking it up the squeak hole. I saw that Bloomberg piece a few hours ago.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 12:34 AM (OqXyp)

37 Pirates are community organizers! Except they actually accomplish things! How dare you impugn their good works!

Posted by: O-bot578M at November 20, 2008 12:35 AM (mVpdo)

38 I'm sorry, but "squeak hole" is never not funny. LOL

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at November 20, 2008 12:36 AM (sfjJC)

39 I think we need to bring back a tactic from WWII.

B52 rolling thunder missions against the ports. Make the fucking place look like a moonscape.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 12:36 AM (OqXyp)

40 Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. H. L. Mencken

Where have I heard that before?

Is it time for Ace to raise the skull and crossbones, assemble a crew? Be a tax serf under Obama, or sail the open seas with nary a care in the world? I hear Somalia is a libertarian paradise!

Posted by: Travis at November 20, 2008 12:36 AM (2xHh/)

41 I'll go if I get to be a pirate wench.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 20, 2008 12:38 AM (NkoQh)

42 So, the high seas, are last place where you can kill a thief and not go to jail? Kinda gives me a new idea for "sport fishing? Refit a used Navy boat with modern power and uparm it. Buy U.S. weapons from Columbian crooks. Hoist a Greenpeace flag, and sell tickets. No bag limit...Beats gutting fish and you might be able to get them mounted...I'm calling Soldier of fortune for a crew tommorrow. What would you pay for a trip like this?...What could go wrong?

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 20, 2008 12:40 AM (e9cdI)

43 OT.Bremerton Ferry Returns To Terminal Following 'Terrorist
Threat'
M60 machine guns present!
Christoph right..this will go on for awhile.

Posted by: sickinmass at November 20, 2008 12:42 AM (/i4dU)

44 I'll go if I get to be a pirate wench.

All right, lass, it's a deal. But I get to be captain and sit you on my knee.

Posted by: Jack Sparrow at November 20, 2008 12:42 AM (TNZvH)

45 I might be wrong, but if we blow their little fucking boats in a bazillion pieces, then I think they won't hijack any more ships. If their carcasses are in Davy Jones locker, I believe they won't be buying orange pop anymore. Sucks for Nehi though.

Posted by: mrcaniac at November 20, 2008 12:43 AM (Rbulg)

46 When is "talk like a pirate" day?

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 20, 2008 12:45 AM (e9cdI)

47 What would you pay for a trip like this?

I bet the Saudis would hire such an outfit, and pay rather well.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 12:46 AM (OqXyp)

48 "I can't really support my first instinct, which would be to denude the sea of all non-authorized shipping traffic posthaste, and let the rest sort itself out."

Aside from the fact it's a declaration of war against, well, everyone, it's too big.

"I might be wrong, but if we blow their little fucking boats in a bazillion pieces, then I think they won't hijack any more ships."

I think you're relying too much on the Somali respect for life.

Posted by: Christoph at November 20, 2008 12:47 AM (hawOV)

Why do I think Michael J Fox is going to show up in a silver Delorian explaining that its not supposed to be like this, and I have to go back to the future to make things right? WTF?

THREAD WINNER

Runner-up:

41 I'll go if I get to be a pirate wench.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 20, 2008 12:38 AM (NkoQh)

Alex, please consider to whom you would be beholden! I don't hate you enough to let you get away with that.

Best Regards

Posted by: ATNorth at November 20, 2008 12:51 AM (dBJw1)

50 You know who the best pirate in the world is? Patchy the Pirate Hank Paulson.

Posted by: ATNorth at November 20, 2008 12:52 AM (dBJw1)

51 Patchy the Pirate Hank Paulson

Posted by: ATNorth at November 20, 2008 12:53 AM (dBJw1)

52 Look, the pirate life is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure, it starts out as looting, pillaging, treasure, and pina coladas. Before you know it, though, you have a boyish chick and an effeminate dude on board as your crew, and since they look and sound so much alike you live in perpetual confused horror of mistaking one for the other during the rum-goggle stage of the nightly bachannal. IYKWIMAITYD.

Not good.

Posted by: Jack Sparrow at November 20, 2008 12:53 AM (mVpdo)

53 Thank God we have Barry Obama to restore our reputation and standing in world, and to regain our respect from amongst the international community!

No Oil for Civilization!

Posted by: The Green Pirates of Africa at November 20, 2008 12:55 AM (aaGD+)

54 Shit, talk like apirate day was 9-19....Act like a fucking pirate day is 01-20-2009 in D.C....And P.A...I was thinking high class sportsman who have every animal stuffed in the Game room of the Mansion. Low key, for the well heeled. CEO Republicans who care little for lifes struggling class, but I'm getting MSM redundant.

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 20, 2008 12:55 AM (e9cdI)

55
I found this at Wired Magazine's Danger Room Blog::

Finally, the oppressed steal some oil from Chimpy & Cheney instead of vice versa.
.
Cool!

(The place is crawling with lefties).

Posted by: Tinian at November 20, 2008 12:56 AM (Ohodx)

56 #51...I like that..."Patch-Eyed, Pirate Paulson" declared today that.....Blah, blah ,blah

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 20, 2008 12:58 AM (e9cdI)

Some rag here or a wire service was blaming this on global warming because the honest Somali fishermen were unemployed because of global warming (and a little overfishing) wiping out local fish stocks and, so, turned to piracy to make a living.

Posted by: andycanuck at November 20, 2008 12:59 AM (6rN+7)

58 Wow. Didn't know Obama got hos slogan from actual pirates.

Posted by: chemjeff at November 20, 2008 01:05 AM (wy+AE)

59 I stold an A/C unit once. Judge didn't care much for my "global warming" defense. That prick

Posted by: hutch1200 at November 20, 2008 01:07 AM (e9cdI)

Speaking of maritme mischief, watch what happened when one of those ACORN assclowns tried to register voters on an Israeli tanker:

http://tinyurl.com/6fmren

stay turgid, fellow morons.

Posted by: SnakePlizzken at November 20, 2008 01:11 AM (ZcQ/V)

61
Ya know we had just this sort of problem about two hundred fucking years ago and President Jefferson sent the US motherfucking Marines to fix it. They fixed it good.

Time to do it again.

Posted by: Ronsonic at November 20, 2008 01:19 AM (ywSvi)

62 Arrrrgh...I have seized ye economy, and I won't give it back til ya give me a ransom of 80 trillion dollars...arrrggh..

Posted by: Patch Eyed Pirate Paulson at November 20, 2008 01:22 AM (wy+AE)

Copypasta from the first oiltanker thread. I stand by my assessment:

The way I see it, get the oil tanker back, then start round the clock bombing of all known and suspected pirate ports until they're just one big charred crater. Then figure out how to air-deploy mines over the area so it's just one big explosive deathtrap.

Hopefully that'd catch them in port, but if not, then it deprives them of their supplies. I seem to recall 1890's-1910's America did similar things to deter the Moro pirates in the Philippines, but with Dreadnaughts and gatling-gun and mortar armed riverboats and it mostly worked out.

Posted by: Ranba Ral at November 20, 2008 01:23 AM (fpk1J)

64 We're screwed because history clearly shows (as noted above) pirates are pretty much impossible to take out without stomping their bases, and they have arranged the universal "get out of war free" card of the PC era: "innocent civilians" all over the place. Nope, we'd better get used to them and their inevitable copycats in other filthy shitholes around the world (eg, the entire coast of Africa).

Posted by: Flubber at November 20, 2008 01:30 AM (UDqSH)

65 Letters of Marque. Hey, it's in the Constitution!

Posted by: Arthur at November 20, 2008 01:31 AM (yOd8E)

What the hell - since we're being all nautical and shit and talking about giving the O'Pirates the Bob Barker Treatment, here's 8 minutes of the finest Marine Casualty Porn available to get you in the mood.

http://tinyurl.com/5gpq8r

As an added bonus, enjoy the video's score -it's soon to be the unofficial national anthem of the ObamaNation�

Posted by: SnakePlizzken at November 20, 2008 01:46 AM (ZcQ/V)

67 We should reactivate the Iowa.

A-fuckin'-men.

Posted by: apotheosis at November 20, 2008 02:09 AM (xWk3U)

68 With the stalwart leadership of the Teleprompter Unicorn, this sort of thing will thankfully multiply. Piracy is one of the few growth industries in the new era of St. Barry Hussein O'Guiltwhite. However, literally nothing will set the citizens of the nation south of Canada against Messiah except the interruption of cable TV and the lack of three squares per day. The nation formerly known as the USA cares for nothing but a full belly and plenty of tube. If you want to rule them, control their tube the way the MSM does, and control their caloric intake. Our citizens have proven they care nothing for anything beyond their stomach grumblings and the glass teat of televised circuses. Who ever guessed it would be so simple to defeat and expose the vapidity of the richest nation on Earth? Liberty is a word that will be expunged from the dictionary. Our citizens value nothing beyond the needs of the next 12 hours. And we will get what sort of government that attitude demands.

Posted by: George Orwell at November 20, 2008 02:34 AM (AZGON)

69 41 I'll go if I get to be a pirate wench.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 20, 2008 12:38 AM (NkoQh)

And I can be your first mate!

Posted by: Bill H at November 20, 2008 02:41 AM (q8CmE)

70 I'm down for some swashbucklin' Arrrgh! The pirates get all the chicks.

Posted by: Mike at November 20, 2008 02:45 AM (xbwcb)

Way I see it, we have exactly two months to send out the Reapers and Predators with lethal payloads.

On and after Jan 20th they will drop tinsel and condoms and funny balloons and...

You get the drift.

Posted by: effinayright at November 20, 2008 03:02 AM (dBb94)

72 Let the SEALS have a little fun with those assholes. It would be amusing to watch the Somali's pirating industry get seriously "downsized." Just a dream...

Posted by: nraendowment at November 20, 2008 05:32 AM (txka/)

73 41 I'll go if I get to be a pirate wench.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 20, 2008 12:38 AM (NkoQh)

_________________________________________________________

Pic's please.

Posted by: Cap't Kidd at November 20, 2008 06:00 AM (mcFb3)

@32:

Napalm sticks to little children,

All the children of the world,

Red and yellow, black and white,

Hear them screaming in the night,

'Cause napalm sticks to all the little boys and girls.

I also liked "Sniper Wonderland":

In the village, there's a little lady

In her arms, she holds a little baby

I chamber a round

As the kid hits the ground

Stalkin' in a sniper wonderland

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at November 20, 2008 06:31 AM (RWmCt)

Just like the pirates of the 17^th and 18^th century these pirates are murderous scum. And just like then the only way to stop it is to hang them and then display their bodies in chains and iron gibbet cages. In addition, just like then the big nations should go in and destroy their nests by cleansing them with fire.

As I have repeatedly said, you can�t just kill the pirate scum because for every one killed more will crawl out. The good thing now is that you will not need a boatload of Marines to go in to kill the town and burn it to the ground. A few Mk 77 Mod 4s from a naval jet will do the trick.

Pirates can�t operate out of charcoal.

Posted by: Vic at November 20, 2008 06:42 AM (Qd7GC)

Gosh, maybe these poor Somali people would be better off if some large country were to come in and provide humanitarian aid. They would have everything they need and wouldn't need to capture ships. I wonder is anyone has thought of this?

Of course, the other option is to start killing the bastards until there are none left. Oh yeah, and burn their villages to the ground.

Either one should work.

Posted by: Steve L. at November 20, 2008 07:16 AM (o0YD+)

�It was a lot more fun when you got to loot, pillage and plunder,� said a descendent of Blackbeard earlier today. The man, who would only identify himself as "Bobaloo", went on to say: "There are no women on these ships. What's up with that?"

�Heck, the least they could do is make them wear proper clothes and pay them off in doubloons�, he went on to say. Historians note that there is nothing like a chest of gold coin to really motivate the traditional pirate. "That could really get me going", said one man: "I mean, where the hell am I going to bury 5 billion barrels of diesel?"

"Paying the ransom is the only answer", said a United Nations representative about the current crisis: "and the bigger the better. Sooner or later the pirates will all get a 'Benz and a condo in Bermuda and this will all go away. If you fight them, it will only make them mad. Until then, we can always pass a bailout for Saudi Arabia."

Posted by: Robert at November 20, 2008 07:18 AM (VotgB)

78 The only good pirate is Ragnar Dannesjk�ld.

Posted by: ray at November 20, 2008 07:31 AM (ix3FU)

79 Who owns the oil on the Saudi ship? I read somewhere (maybe here) that the U.S. owned the oil. Therefore, shouldn't we want to get rid of the pirates, at least on this particular ship. And don't we have the means to do this?

Posted by: kelley in virginia at November 20, 2008 07:45 AM (/6V78)

80 Damn, we've got to do something about these pirates & Iran & Syria & Russia & NK before 1/20/09.

Posted by: kelley in virginia at November 20, 2008 07:46 AM (/6V78)

..."setting up small kiosks for the pirates"...

You know what that little flea market needs?

A JADAM.

Posted by: Lamontyoubigdummy at November 20, 2008 08:01 AM (IOMjG)

My kind of pirate.

http://tinyurl.com/6jdwx5

will she share the booty?

Posted by: Cap't Kidd at November 20, 2008 08:14 AM (mcFb3)

83 My suspicion is that someone like the Chinese are going to take care of this eventually after some PRC boats get pirated. Sure, they've gone all PC and shit lately, but that's only when people are looking.

Given that press coverage on shore is spotty at best, it wouldn't be too hard to slip in there and wipe a whole town or three off the map. Nobody would know it happened until a few days later.

Sure, our spooks would probably figure out who did it, but its not like we're gonna rat'em out over it.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 08:23 AM (OqXyp)

84 Mr. Purple Avenger: why would we leave it to the Chinese? for political cover? something needs to be done about this NOW!

Posted by: kelley in virginia at November 20, 2008 08:33 AM (/6V78)

They did a PRC boat last week from Hong Kong

Posted by: Vic at November 20, 2008 08:42 AM (Qd7GC)

86 HOPE. CHANGE. PIRACY.

Now there's a platform I can get behind!

Posted by: Dread Pirate Roberts at November 20, 2008 08:43 AM (1hM1d)

"They always take things without paying

Well, they are pirates....

Posted by: Entropy at November 20, 2008 08:49 AM (m6c4H)

88 Muggers who mug liberals shouldn't be arrested. They should be hailed as heroes who are helping to redistribute wealth. So be a hero and rob a liberal today!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 20, 2008 09:00 AM (1Jaio)

89 For the last fucking time, Robin Hood didn't redistribute wealth, he simply took back from the evil sheriff and Duke? (I can't recall) what they had stolen from the people in taxes. Basically Robin Hood was like GWB, in a sense, when we got the tax cut a few years ago and Obama and the idiotic lefties are the fat cat sheriff and ridiculous Duke who can't bag a babe to save his life. Robin Hood was a Capitalist. How do these "journalists" even have jobs? Did they even graduate from Elementary School? Ugh.

Posted by: Sweet Sarah at November 20, 2008 09:29 AM (LFsh1)

We have too many carriers just toodling around to waste money on reactivating the Iowa. A carrier could swing by for a few days and easily leave nothing left. Don't hold your breath. Our ruling class is too effete to do anything effective. They couldn't care less what the lower classes, who they disdain, think of them, though they are very interested in impressing each other according to their own rules.

"You know, Geoffrey, I've developed the most "nuanced" solution imaginable to dealing with the pirate menace. It actually solves nothing, while costing an enormous amount of money."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Roger! I can't wait to hear all about it!"

I wish I was kidding.

Posted by: Chas at November 20, 2008 09:29 AM (tf4qU)

Sweet Sarah,

Exactly. Robin Hood was getting the peoples' money back from the government. It was the oppressive taxes that made them poor. He wasn't robbing from the rich and giving to the poor or redistributing wealth. He was giving the tax money back to its rightful owners.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at November 20, 2008 09:41 AM (1Jaio)

92 ...in an impoverished country where every public institution has crumbled, they have become heroes in the steamy coastal dens they operate from because they are the only real business in town...

So.. does that mean I can be a hero in the US when Barack fails and things turn to shit stateside?

Posted by: Dave C at November 20, 2008 09:55 AM (f3Icg)

93 Ann Coulter was right. Those Somalis need Jesus.

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at November 20, 2008 10:10 AM (2QFX4)

94 Hope, Change, Piracy, Islam

Posted by: torabora at November 20, 2008 10:15 AM (i0OPT)

95 Come on, now, everybody calm down.

I've been through the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at DisneyWorld and it wasn't so bad. In fact, it looked like a lot of fun for everyone!

Posted by: VP Elect Joe Biden at November 20, 2008 10:15 AM (IHbof)

96 In a perfect world the insurance companies, who have to pay out on these losses, would hire a small force to go in and neutralize the threat. But alas they are in fact probably paying out the ransoms, and therefore contributing to the growth of piracy.

More than likely the US will be forced into a position to expend blood and treasure to solve the problem, and the world will gnash it's teeth and seethe at the imperialist USA. Meanwhile the movers a shakers of the European and Middle Eastern worlds will quietly sigh in relief and go about their business of fucking over America.

Assholes.

K

Posted by: Kestrel♠ at November 20, 2008 10:32 AM (w8T8g)

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Posted by: arminius at November 20, 2008 11:37 AM (E8rdu)

In a perfect world the insurance companies�..

In a perfect world there would be no pirates, however in a logical world the world�s powers that depend on free trade for their very existence would go in and clean up this nest of assholes in the manner I have described. They would kill all the pirates and burn their havens to the ground.

Posted by: Vic at November 20, 2008 12:13 PM (Qd7GC)

99 We should reactivate the Iowa.

A-fuckin'-men.

Posted by: apotheosis at November 20, 2008 02:09 AM (xWk3U)

What for? Stupid morons. Fuck.

Send in the Marines.

Posted by: Christoph at November 20, 2008 12:21 PM (hawOV)

100 Well, I've said it before so I'll say it again: carpet-bomb the ports. Sink pirate ships on sight and machine-gun the survivors. Lather, rinse, repeat until the problem is solved.

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101 There's a reason you're not a military planner, BattleofthePyramids, your plan sucks.

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Posted by: starboardhelm at November 20, 2008 01:34 PM (4r9Vh)

103 why would we leave it to the Chinese?

Because they got cajones when dealing with miscreants and will take international heat that American politicians won't. The Chinese aren't afraid to tell the world to go fuck itself. Obviously, an Obama administration isn't going to be as un-nuanced as the PRC might.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 02:31 PM (OqXyp)

104 Blow that village of idiots off the face of the earth those people are as bad as those pirates those pirates should be hung from a yardarm

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at November 20, 2008 02:33 PM (AZlp+)

105 What for? Stupid morons. Fuck. Send in the Marines.

Shock/terror value. There is very little even today that can rival the raw destructive power of a 16" naval gun, and they can put ordinance on target with precision similar to the GPS guided stuff.

Why risk anyone's life, when you can absolutely flatten a town from 20 miles away? Put a dozen 16" HE rounds on three of those pirate ports, and I guaranfuckingtee you, nobody will ever have to set foot on Somali soil. Once word gets around that Iowa is in town and looking for some live target practice, the locals will murder any pirates who roll up on their port themselves, and they'll do it post haste.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 02:40 PM (OqXyp)

106 your plan sucks.

Why? It worked for Thomas Jefferson. It was pretty much a scorched earth campaign against the Barbary Pirates.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 20, 2008 02:42 PM (OqXyp)

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IIRC, in Somalia, those who actually work and produce are considered something less than peasants. Warriors who go out and raid others are considered a far superior sort of person. So rebuilding their fly-encrusted dung-hill of a land isn't important work. Stealing from others is.

Start with that when deciding why they raid/pirate, and what has to be done to stop them.

Hint: Strong horse/weak horse.

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