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Humor Break: "I Chose Obama Over Pooter"

Guy broke up with his girlfriend because she supported McCain-Palin.

And rightly so. We each were looking different ways. More: We were looking forward to different worlds. Hers full of freedom and rugged independence, brutal to me, mine of social harmony and cooperation, unjust to her.

...

It got worse. I don't even know if I was as liberal as I acted around her, but it got to the point where I'd start looking for places to start a fight. We'd fought before, but apologies and make-up sex would heal each wound. With our political views, however, we were unapologetic, and sex — make-up or otherwise — rarely follows any argument about John McCain's revised perspective on torture.

The last straw came with Palin's selection as McCain's running mate. I worked myself into a feminist rage over what I saw as her mom-at-home attitudes, anti-abortion stance and exploitation of her femininity to make sexist voters feel less threatened. If Karen voted for that ticket, she was a hypocrite, plain and simple. She accused me of the same, saying it was sexist to think I could know who a woman "ought" to vote for. She left for a friend's house that evening. She only came back for her things.

Love doesn't transcend politics — it is politics. Each person representing his or her own view, contributing, swapping ideas, compromising. Sometimes you can manage the bipartisan effort. And sometimes you need a two-state solution.


Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

Thanks to Maetenloch.

Posted by: Ace at 07:30 PM



Comments

1 We ought to hook Jagoff Boy up with this hag: My Boyfriend Voted For McCain!

I'm sure they can find plenty of talk about.

Posted by: DelD at November 04, 2008 07:33 PM (Yw/4J)

2 That guy is soooo NOT gonna get a shirt.

Posted by: davis,br at November 04, 2008 07:34 PM (zewwG)

3 Allah's lovelife captured forever on the internet.

Posted by: Hedgehog at November 04, 2008 07:34 PM (aDOKh)

4 Bros befo' Hos.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 04, 2008 07:34 PM (69J41)

5 That's a touching story about a boi coming to terms with his fear of vagina.

And this is why Ace of Spades HQ is the first blog I visit.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at November 04, 2008 07:34 PM (nOQ1R)

6 Sounds like the guy who wrote the "All these guys keep sucking my cock" article at the Onion.

Posted by: physics geek at November 04, 2008 07:35 PM (auFn9)

7

Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

I waited until he was dead.

 

Posted by: Christopher Buckley at November 04, 2008 07:35 PM (s8N54)

8 Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

HA!

Oh fuck Ace, that was funny as shit!

Posted by: Uniball at November 04, 2008 07:37 PM (27iEn)

9 He "worked himself into a feminist rage"?  I wouldn't know how to even begin to do that.

How To Work Yourself Into A Feminist Rage:  STEP ONE: .......see, I'm stuck right there.

Posted by: ArrMatey at November 04, 2008 07:38 PM (35LYA)

10 yeah, but is she hot? if so, get her over here!

Posted by: cadetwithchips2 at November 04, 2008 07:38 PM (PoUlE)

11 Politics over pussy? Seriously? Can straight guys do that? Gay men can afford to drop a guy because of politics - there is always another dick 2 feet behind that one, but straight guys? That's just crazy talk.

Posted by: Robert at November 04, 2008 07:38 PM (sztNe)

12 "Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay."

I can certainly attest to the benefits of the direct approach.

Posted by: Ace's Dad at November 04, 2008 07:38 PM (H5l9d)

13 Sounds like future Mr. Andy...

Posted by: phreshone at November 04, 2008 07:39 PM (oH2N4)

14 Protip: 

"The personal is political" wasn't intended to be a maxim.

This isn't beta-male, this is gamma-male.

Posted by: Techie at November 04, 2008 07:39 PM (EVMm7)

15 What?  No *flaming* skull?


Posted by: Hurricane Mikey at November 04, 2008 07:39 PM (OmIEH)

16 ok, i laughed out loud at the closing line there, which i pretty much never do @ internet stuff. that was very funny

Posted by: Hogan at November 04, 2008 07:40 PM (U9jVq)

17 Also, I like that he "worked" himself into a "feminist rage".  Sounds like it took some effort.

Posted by: Techie at November 04, 2008 07:40 PM (EVMm7)

18 ... and sex — make-up or otherwise — rarely follows any argument about John McCain's revised perspective on torture.

Disagree .


Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 04, 2008 07:40 PM (d0YiG)

19

He just got tired of all that rough strap-on treatment from his girlfriend during the makeup sex.

Posted by: Warden at November 04, 2008 07:40 PM (5FAuS)

20 Me and my girlfriend broke up over the Giants/Patriots World Series game.

Posted by: Lance Bass at November 04, 2008 07:41 PM (xDY3g)

21 Alright I've poured my first drink of the evening, and I am ready to watch the circus.

K

Posted by: Kestrel♠ at November 04, 2008 07:41 PM (AFj4O)

22

Sounds like the guy who wrote the "All these guys keep sucking my cock" article at the Onion.

BWahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!11eleven!!

Posted by: RedRiverTed at November 04, 2008 07:41 PM (Z7fcC)

23 9 He "worked himself into a feminist rage"?  I wouldn't know how to even begin to do that

As a female conservative, I definitely have no clue how to "work myself into a feminist rage?" Female rage, sure. Regular rage, even better. "Feminist rage?"  WTF?

Posted by: shibumi at November 04, 2008 07:42 PM (tZB/c)

24 Dude.  Obama is pooter.

Posted by: Dan Collins at November 04, 2008 07:43 PM (SohFK)

25

He wasn't acting like a liberal, he was acting like a man.

Posted by: Roy at November 04, 2008 07:43 PM (YWRL9)

26 Maybe he is not sure about his boy-boy or girl-boy situation....he should have a heart-to-heart with Biden

Posted by: IC at November 04, 2008 07:43 PM (jZNCU)

27 I dumped my last bitch cuz she didn't like NASCAR. I loves me some Jeff Gordon.

Posted by: Clay Aiken at November 04, 2008 07:43 PM (xDY3g)

28 So is Lance, for calling the Superbowl the World Series.

Posted by: Dan Collins at November 04, 2008 07:44 PM (SohFK)

29 7

Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

I waited until he was dead.

 

Posted by: Christopher Buckley at November 04, 2008 07:35 PM (s8N54)


______________


Now THAT is comedy gold right there.  Comment seven for the win...

Posted by: Achmed at November 04, 2008 07:44 PM (x7T2O)

30

"I worked myself into a feminist rage sand into my vagina"

I think this fella just outgayed Clay Aiken and the new Spock and Kirk!

Posted by: PaleoMedic at November 04, 2008 07:45 PM (xirX/)

31 Giants/Patriots World Series game.


Lost me on that one...

Posted by: Dawnsblood at November 04, 2008 07:45 PM (aZ6b5)

32 Solution for the girl?

AOS Lifestyles MoronDating. (tm)

Think about it Ace...

Posted by: shibumi at November 04, 2008 07:45 PM (tZB/c)

33 As a female conservative, I definitely have no clue how to "work myself into a feminist rage?" Female rage, sure. Regular rage, even better. "Feminist rage?"  WTF?

Blood, liquor, and feminist politics.  Works every time.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 04, 2008 07:46 PM (3RrDd)

34 I broke up Wham because Andrew Ridgely was a closet Thatcherite.

Posted by: George Michael at November 04, 2008 07:46 PM (xDY3g)

35 Me and my girlfriend broke up over the Giants/Patriots World Series game.

if you don't know the difference between the world series and super bowl you should break up.

Posted by: sas at November 04, 2008 07:46 PM (HoB7g)

36

21 Alright I've poured my first drink of the evening, and I am ready to watch the circus.

We started drinking at work today around 1PM. Mmmmm tasty.

Posted by: kim in vancouver at November 04, 2008 07:46 PM (JTDLR)

37 I broke up Wham because he was a closet sodomite.

Posted by: Andrew Ridgely at November 04, 2008 07:47 PM (xDY3g)

38 Okay, I know this is supposed to be humor, but I have actually had similar thoughts to this, only in the opposite direction. I have been friends with a girl for about 10 years now, known her since college, but after college she lived in Wisconsin and I moved to Michigan. We have kept in touch through e-mail, IM and phone off and on for 10 years. We never talked politics until just a coulpe weeks ago. Turns out that she is supporting Obama, can't stand Sarah Palin or Hillary Clinton, blames Republicans for not supporting her line of work (she works with poor kids in foster care... in other words the S-CHIP program) and Bush for cutting funding to S-CHIP, is fine with Afghanistan, yet thinks Bush just went to war in Iraq for the heck of it, and blames FOX News Channel for all the hit pieces on Obama about all his associates.

I gotta say that it threw me for a loop, considering that for the last 10 years, I held her up as someone who seemed to be a real life example of my ideal woman. I knew that if I ever lost faith that my ideal woman was out there, I could always look to her and think, she exists, so maybe there is another one out there.

But now after talking to her about political views for the first time, I have to say that I lost respect for her. Maybe it is wrong of me, but I think that supporting Obama and his utter lack of character shows a lack of character in his supporters. I can understand someone being a Democrat and having different political views, but apologizing for all of Obama's bad allies and not finding anything wrong with his socialism and thug tactics... I just can't fathom any logical person supporting this man.

So while I know the instinct is to make fun of this guy for breaking up over his girlfriend's support for McCain/Palin, am I also worthy of scorn for thinking a lot less of my friend for her support of Obama?

Sincere question here. It's been eating at me the last two weeks, making me think that I am being too harsh. But I just can't get past the thought that someone would support Obama and everything he stands for.

I dunno. Maybe my comment goes a little deeper than this post was intended to make us think. If so, just scroll on by this and carry on.

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 04, 2008 07:47 PM (s0Zrm)

39 "Guy broke up with his girlfriend ...."

"She left for a friend's house that evening. She only came back for her things."

Sounds like she dumped you for being a pussy, "Mr. Feminist Rage".

Posted by: Che Pizza at November 04, 2008 07:47 PM (RLBRw)

40 31 Giants/Patriots World Series game.

Lost me on that one...


Moron , it was the Oilers and Packers .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 04, 2008 07:48 PM (d0YiG)

41 Ace, you may have misread that last line.

He wrote "two-state," not "tube-steak."

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at November 04, 2008 07:49 PM (sI5Ho)

42 WOW!  The Giants are such an epic football team they went to the World Series?  I'll bet they crushed those wimpy Devil Rays under their mighty offensive line in five games.  Though I will say the Ray's sluggers must have made many a dent in the Giant's football helmets with their baseball bats.

Posted by: Warthog at November 04, 2008 07:49 PM (D0L4x)

43 First would be the hurtful words. Then, we would have an absolutely vicious slap fight. Then, I'd retreat & cry. Then, we'd have fantastic makeup sex. And by "makeup sex", I mean I begged & pleaded for her not to dump me.

I have to go nurse my purple nurple now...

Posted by: Mr. Feminist Rage at November 04, 2008 07:52 PM (RLBRw)

44 Posted by: Michael in MI at November 04, 2008 07:47 PM (s0Zrm)

Tranny porn and Valu-Rite will fix ya right up.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 04, 2008 07:53 PM (3RrDd)

45 Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

hilarious

Posted by: brak at November 04, 2008 07:55 PM (vvvWu)

46 Tranny porn and Valu-Rite will fix ya right up.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 04, 2008 07:53 PM

Heh, okay that answers my question about me thinking too seriously about this post. Carry on.

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 04, 2008 07:55 PM (s0Zrm)

47 This 'individual', i hesitate to use any description that implies maleness, is the best anti-Obama reason i can think of - legions of drones like this trying to world safe, neaaghh.
"Love is politics", WTF, no straight male says that, he agrees with the chic's politics so he can split the fatty.

Posted by: Penfold at November 04, 2008 07:56 PM (mKeF6)

48

her mom-at-home attitudes

What?

Ummm...what?

Posted by: MamaAJ at November 04, 2008 07:58 PM (X6Zdh)

49 Amazing how people who value "social harmony and cooperation" always seem to "look[] for places to start a fight" when they're around people who don't agree with everything they say or think.

Posted by: Punktillious at November 04, 2008 07:59 PM (xC3/e)

50 Posted by: Michael in MI at November 04, 2008 07:47 PM (s0Zrm)

The reason this is so hilarious to us is that it's so typically liberal. It's a fucking cliche. Most, if not all of us morons have been through similar situations with liberal friends. After the '04 election, I had three friends cease contact with me once they found out I voted for Bush. One of them was a situation that was quite similar to yours, but after her incredibly nasty, profane, multi-paragraph email telling me how stupid I was (she's a PhD, by the way), I had no problem looking back.

My suggestion is to be honest, don't be ashamed of your political views (you don't have to be a dick about them either). Once she knows your political affiliation, I'm betting that she'll solve the problem for you.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 04, 2008 08:00 PM (wjZW+)

51 Michael in MI

It won't work.  Trust me.

K

Posted by: Kestrel♠ at November 04, 2008 08:02 PM (AFj4O)

52 20 Me and my girlfriend broke up over the Giants/Patriots World Series game.

Posted by: Lance Bass at November 04, 2008 07:41 PM (xDY3g)



The joke here is that Lance Bass, who was closeted doesn't know anything about sports.


It's subtle humor, not really suited for the ASOHQ moron crowd.

Posted by: Britt at November 04, 2008 08:02 PM (ggOIi)

53 Seriously... if that guy's girlfriend is single... and she's out there and reading this... call me.  She sounds freakin' perfect.

Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at November 04, 2008 08:06 PM (3FVXC)

54

We started drinking at work today around 1PM. Mmmmm tasty.

Kimmy, could you drop me a line with the email of your HR department?  Thanks, Hon.

I've been meaning to follow that advice about a workstyle and lifestyle that are complementary, and this could be the ticket.  "Complementary" means "fucking identical" in Canadian, right?

Posted by: sherlock at November 04, 2008 08:07 PM (G9/8V)

55

Sounds like she dumped you for being a pussy, "Mr. Feminist Rage".

That's what I was thinking, too: she saw what a spineless twat this guy was and told him to hit the bricks. She's probably fucked a cop the day after she threw out all his mixed CD's loaded with John Mayer songs.

but I think that supporting Obama and his utter lack of character shows a lack of character in his supporters

I agree with you, Michael. I felt the same about people who defended Clinton's blatant disdain for the dignity of the office he held. Obama's supporters are gullible sheep fooled by slick talkers, lazy people who want something for nothing,  know nothing college age idiots who think he's cool because he's black, and outright socialists. In other words, people I wouldn't cross the street to push out of the way of a flaming bus.

Posted by: UGAdawg at November 04, 2008 08:07 PM (MDHAs)

56 It's subtle humor, not really suited for the ASOHQ moron crowd.

..... scratches 'nads ..... burps ...... feels as stunned as ever .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 04, 2008 08:08 PM (d0YiG)

57 Sorry about that.  The 'S' in AOS stands for "snark."

Posted by: Warthog at November 04, 2008 08:10 PM (D0L4x)

58

Seems like a really roundabout way to tell your dad you're gay.

I get the sentiment, but I remind you that LCR endorsed McCain and a number of non-LCR members voted for the man as well.  Such as myself.

Posted by: John at November 04, 2008 08:17 PM (nAxsL)

59 Funny how that works...

I dated an atheist chick who couldn't stop screaming "Oh God, Oh Jesus" during makeup sex.

This guy is a fag.

Posted by: Fritz at November 04, 2008 08:19 PM (aaGD+)

60

Feminist rage? Did he burn his 'bro'?

Posted by: Entropy at November 04, 2008 08:20 PM (HgAV0)

61 My suggestion is to be honest, don't be ashamed of your political views (you don't have to be a dick about them either). Once she knows your political affiliation, I'm betting that she'll solve the problem for you.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 04, 2008 08:00 PM

Oh, I understand why it's so humorous. I laughed at this article too. But then it just got me thinking to my situation with my friend is all.

And I am unapologetic about my politics and my views. With most Obama supporters, I just rip them to shreds and consider them idiots. But with her, I just couldn't believe she could be that stupid, naive or ignorant. She has always seemed to be sensible and logical. So when she said she was supporting him and then went off on all the other things, it made me view her in a completely different light.

I don't think she's preparing to end our semi-friendship over this, but whenever we talk now, I have this in the back of my mind and I can't quite stop thinking "is she really this stupid, naive and ignorant and I just missed it all these years"?

It won't work. Trust me.

Posted by: Kestrel♠ at November 04, 2008 08:02 PM

Heh, well, there's nothing really to work. We're not getting together for anything, we're just kinda long distance friends who keep in touch every few weeks or months or so through e-mail, IM and phone. But I'm starting to wonder if we can even keep that up now, considering I have lost quite a bit of respect for her.

Obama's supporters are gullible sheep fooled by slick talkers, lazy people who want something for nothing, know nothing college age idiots who think he's cool because he's black, and outright socialists.

Posted by: UGAdawg at November 04, 2008 08:07 PM

Exactly. Which is why I am having such a difficult time with her. After 10 years of thinking she was great, I now consider her exactly what you describe for an Obama supporter. And I'm just not sure how I hold that opinion of her and still remain friends.

She has always been on thin ice with me anyway, me being from Chicago and a die-hard Bears fan and her being from Appleton and a die-hard Cheesehead. heh

Posted by: Michael in MI at November 04, 2008 08:21 PM (s0Zrm)

62 Reminds me of why I stopped being a feminist. Too many liberal guys trying to tell me what women want.

What? Dude, I've got the equipment. Where do you get off telling me what I want? I know what I want, and I'll tell you. Shut up, weenie.

Posted by: meep at November 04, 2008 08:28 PM (7uTCa)

63 Those that put their trust in media polls, just before an election,  would trust their wife and daughter to slick willy too.  You might just as well trust demorats to not try election fraud in an election, or expect they will not try and blame their election fraud on Republicans.

Posted by: yankeedoodled at November 04, 2008 08:33 PM (ez8KL)

64

What I had to tell my in-laws about Obama:

1. He's in bed with the mob just like every other Chicago politician who does well for himself.

2. He's a member of a church with dogma about the color of people's skin.

3. He's not well-educated or hardworking, just well-connected.

4. He's a goddam Marxist.

Posted by: sherlock at November 04, 2008 08:34 PM (G9/8V)

65

My girlfriend came home while I was sitting on the couch watching football. She said, I got to vote for Obama. I reached behind the couch, pulled out my 12 guage, checked to make sure it was loaded, safety off, and I told her, You have fifteen minutes to get off my property. And stay away from the dog.

OK, Just kidding. Personally, I would not have a woman who is so confused about what it means to be an American.

The woman in this article above could do a lot better. There are a lot of guys that would appreciate her and make good husbands. Check out the Marine Corps, sweetheart.

Posted by: Harry at November 04, 2008 08:36 PM (J6QDn)

66

9 He "worked himself into a feminist rage"?  I wouldn't know how to even begin to do that.

Step one: Start with a good exfoliation.

Posted by: Javems at November 04, 2008 08:55 PM (/IQA9)

67

whenever we talk now, I have this in the back of my mind and I can't quite stop thinking "is she really this stupid, naive and ignorant and I just missed it all these years"?

I understand. There was an online list/group thingie I joined, but hadn't started participating in when September 11th happened. A couple of the regulars were...extreme. The line that bowled me over was something about Americans saying "God bless America" was just as bad as the Taliban. I quit the group, because there was no way I could ever take anything that person said seriously, even though the topic (usually) had nothing to do with politics.

Posted by: MamaAJ at November 04, 2008 09:09 PM (X6Zdh)

68

Michael in MI

To repair the damage you hard hearted conservative, simply introduce your 10-year friend to the delights of a Dirty Sanchez.  She may not thank you, but she will definitely remember you for life you dirty bastard. 

Posted by: Fish at November 04, 2008 09:17 PM (6Rihj)

69

Moron, it was the Oilers and Packers.

That was Super Bowl minus-IV.

Posted by: FireHorse at November 04, 2008 09:36 PM (+dm+A)

70

But now after talking to her about political views for the first time, I have to say that I lost respect for her.

Great! Your chances of fucking her have never been better. Do us all a favor: After you finish, look her right in the tits and say, " I can't believe I just did that. Cock, have you no shame?"

Then throw her clothes out the window and laugh.

She'll be back.

 

Posted by: spongeworthy at November 04, 2008 09:50 PM (rplL3)

71

Eh.

I just celebrated 24 years married to a diehard Massachusetts liberal.  Right now he is at the Obama election night party.  Sometimes politics are really not that important.  I'm actually pretty amused tonight - this is the first time his candidate for President has won, ever.  I know what that feels like because I was there with Reagan in 1980. 

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Posted by: replica watches at February 05, 2010 09:12 AM (TUJDt)

94 Factors Replica Watches About The Rolex replica watches Oyster The Oyster is so closely get in touch with Rolex, and it is inevitably that some people think these are the only Replica watches Rolex manufacture. Others suppose that there is a single Oyster watch. But as a matter of fact, the name Oyster does not actually meant for a rolex Watches particular watch you can buy rolex watches or even to a series but to a type of case that available in some of the Rolex ranges. History The Oyster case was first released in 1926. The objective was to protect the workings of the watch from dust and moisture. Early watches were far from waterproof. The Oyster tag heuer Watchescase was an tag heuer watches innovative design to eliminate these problems. It had a new double locking crown that screwed into place. It has been compared to the hatch on a submarine. Like a submarine, the Oyster case was waterproof. In 1927 Mercedes Gleitze swam the English breitling Watches Channel breitling watches . Before she set off she was presented with a Rolex Oyster. When she arrived, the watch was still working perfectly. The resulting publicity gave the new case a massive boost. Why is it called Oyster? Legend has it that Hans cartier Watches Wilsdorf cartier watches, who invented the Oyster, chose the name because the new case reminded him of the difficulty he had experienced prising open oysters at dinner. Since then the Oyster has further, particularly advanced. Many Oyster watches today are omega Watches perpetual-self-winding, in other omega watches words, it does not require to expose the mechanism to the outside world in order to wind it. The Osyter Perpetual is one of the toughest, most durable, most reliable watches (under truly adverse conditions). It is probably the best mechanical watch money can buy.

Posted by: replica watches at February 08, 2010 08:34 AM (TUJDt)






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