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| Iran Threatens US with Suicide BombersOnly a few days ahead of the American presidential election, Iranian parliamentary speaker 'Ali Larijani and Supreme Leader Ayatollah 'Ali Khamanai have launched harsh verbal attacks against the United States. Referring to the US army's attacks in Pakistan and Syria, Larijani said they would not be answered with diplomatic protests. "The US method and conduct, expressed by this aggression, will only be stopped by a clear-cut and unexpected response, whose grounds were set by the martyr Hussein Fahmida," Larijani said during a parliamentary session on Wednesday. Fahmida was 13 when he detonated an explosive device he carried on him, destroying an Iraqi tank during the Iran-Iraq War in the 1980s. "America should be aware not to put its huge body on top of the suicide bombers' explosive devices," Larijani said. On the same day, Khamanai said the differences between Iran and the US were far beyond differences of opinion. "The Iranian people hate the US [because of] the various plots the US government has hatched against Iran and the Iranian nation for the past five decades," Khamanai said. The Supreme Leader added that any nation that would not honor Iran's identity and independence would have its "hands cut off."Quick, let's have presidential negotiations without preconditions. They seem thisclose to offering us a sweet deal, if only we have the courage to ask them for it. Thanks to Janet. Comments1
Maybe after the election Joe Biden can talk Israel or Sudan into using their aircraft carriers or moon-based lasers to help calm things down.
Posted by: Potosi Joel at October 30, 2008 07:08 PM (TPRbZ) 2
Here's the original story over at The JerUSAlem Post: http://tinyurl.com/5um4hf Somone one else posted a link that recent testing there showed up on USGS Earthquake reports...Jebus Posted by: CInAz at October 30, 2008 07:09 PM (qIOmI) 3
Surely we can sort this out over tea and crumpets..
Posted by: IC at October 30, 2008 07:10 PM (jZNCU) 4
Tiny
Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 30, 2008 07:11 PM (i73Rf) 5
Wouldn't "Iran offers to murder their children in order to punish the U.S.", be a more appropriate headline? Just a thought.
Posted by: Kae Gregory at October 30, 2008 07:11 PM (YbfnA) 6
If we were who they said we were, they would have gotten nuked in probably 2005 or 2006. SO they should count their lucky stars we're as evil as we are.
Posted by: Dr. Manhattan at October 30, 2008 07:12 PM (o1ZtJ) 7
You'd think the nuts in Tehran would hold off on this sort of blather until after the O! is installed in office because stuff like this is only going to help McCain if it manages to get around.
Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 07:13 PM (q3V+C) 8
That's it. I'm voting for obama. I want my leader to sit down with these without preconditions. Who cares if they want to kill us. /sarc
Posted by: Ginger at October 30, 2008 07:13 PM (qSqPf) 9
Quick, let's have presidential negotiations without preconditions.
Hey, I'm all for it as long as the negotiators are named Daisy Cutter, Bunker Buster, and possibly MIRV. Posted by: kbiel at October 30, 2008 07:14 PM (qC9vt) Posted by: Jennifer at October 30, 2008 07:15 PM (4xBEr) 11
Can we say carter 2.0?
Posted by: Ginger at October 30, 2008 07:15 PM (qSqPf) 12
Does Aw-man-did-ya-just-nod still got the fitz? Hopefully he's getting fitted with a 12th Imam souvenir blast vest. (which, of course goes off prematurely.)
Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 30, 2008 07:17 PM (i73Rf) 13
Do you mean to imply that this problem can't be fixed by The One laying hands on the people of Iran and the US or dividing up a bunch of fish and bread?*
*I'm on board only if he can turn my water into wine. Hey! Maybe that's how he intends to fund his "spending" plan. If so, it would definitely save me a lot of $$. Posted by: TMQ at October 30, 2008 07:18 PM (aMu45) 14
stuff like this is only going to help McCain if it manages to get around.
Posted by: ECM at October 30, 2008 07:13 PM (q3V+C) It won't get around, except on the blogosphere and Fox News. If it harms the Anointed One, it does't get reported. Posted by: Pavel at October 30, 2008 07:18 PM (UFpcQ) 15
Why don't we just make Iran a glass parking lot and get it over with?
Posted by: GarandFan at October 30, 2008 07:18 PM (eJ32B) 16
Um, speaking of Iran being a tiny country, how do you explain Germany in WW1 and WW2? Just wondering.
Posted by: Ginger at October 30, 2008 07:20 PM (qSqPf) 17
Ginger, you'll have to ask Barry 'bout that one.
Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 30, 2008 07:22 PM (i73Rf) 18
15
Why don't we just make Iran a glass parking lot and get it over with?
With an overflow lot in N Korea. Posted by: CB at October 30, 2008 07:22 PM (9Wv2j) 19
Keep talking, Ayatollah. 'Cause as long as you're up there pounding your shoe on the proverbial lectern, you're not doing anything that's going to get you and your entire nation turned into a smoldering crater.
So talk all the shit you want. It's cute, in its own unique way. Just keep your limitations in mind while you're doing it, sparky. Posted by: apotheosis at October 30, 2008 07:25 PM (xWk3U) Posted by: exception at October 30, 2008 07:30 PM (o5wq5) 21
I think we're all overreacting. These people are simply misunderstood and in need of a big group hug and financial aid. Once The Obama has had a chance to sit down and surrender the US and Israel to them, everything will calm down again.
Posted by: The Pancake at October 30, 2008 07:34 PM (nug4S) 22
Barrack sept 12 2007:
Iran poses a grave challenge. It builds a nuclear program, supports terrorism, and threatens Israel with destruction. But we hear eerie echoes of the run-up to the war in Iraq in the way that the President and Vice President talk about Iran. They conflate Iran and al Qaeda, ignoring the violent schism that exists between Shiite and Sunni militants. They issue veiled threats. They suggest that the time for diplomacy and pressure is running out when we haven't even tried direct diplomacy. Well George Bush and Dick Cheney must hear - loud and clear - from the American people and the Congress: you don't have our support, and you don't have our authorization for another war. Posted by: locus ceruleus at October 30, 2008 07:35 PM (e2mBS) 23
Maybe its time to vaporize Eniwetok again...as an object lesson.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 30, 2008 07:35 PM (OqXyp) 24
It's probably our fault that Iran hates us. Maybe Secretary of State Rev Wright will fly over there and smooth their feathers. Or Biden could just hand them a check. What we need is a hopeful, nuanced, progressive response. Or- we could elect McCain, blockade the Strait of Hormuz, and strangle Iran to death. Posted by: Jones at October 30, 2008 07:36 PM (KOkrW) 25
Warmongers!!!1!eleventy!!
Posted by: DoDoGuRu at October 30, 2008 07:38 PM (xBkZj) Posted by: Mikey NTH at October 30, 2008 07:41 PM (TUWci) 27
Iran's a tiny country after all.
Posted by: Barack Obama at October 30, 2008 07:41 PM (+7oCm) 28
""America should be aware not to put its huge body on top of the suicide bombers' explosive devices," Larijani said."
Oh, so now they're calling us fat!?!?! don't they realize being in charge of the planet works up a big appetite? Posted by: G at October 30, 2008 07:41 PM (FAYNo) 29
Look, if there's one thing that never goes out of style, it's a long bubble bath with my favorite dildo.
Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 07:44 PM (nrD02) 30
I thought Iran wanted Obama to win. You would think they would be smart enough to keep their mouths shut a couple of more days. I mean Iran is running the same media propaganda machine as Obama and the US press is. You would think that Iran wouldn't buy into the US propaganda.
Posted by: David at October 30, 2008 07:45 PM (NgoAe) Posted by: Swegin at October 30, 2008 07:47 PM (q0Z3p) 32
As to the theme in the post [which has the benefit of at least fitting McCain's rather ungracious response blip to the Obacommerical], yeah - I'm feeling the sting from all those sticks and stones flying out of the Grand Ayatollah's crib.
Ah, for the good old days of the Soviet Union - when trash talk had an air of plausibility. Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 07:48 PM (nrD02) 33
forget about it, Obama's got it handled.
Posted by: robtr at October 30, 2008 07:50 PM (C6ME0) 34
OT
Biden talks baseball, admits the campaign needs help, wife tells him he needs to be like Brad "Lights Out" Lidge - Joe says he prolly can't pull it off http://tinyurl.com/6dtnly Posted by: Topsecretk9 at October 30, 2008 07:52 PM (5z1bn) 35
Guys, guys, guys... Don't you know this is all rhetoric and they don't really mean it? C'mon, didn't that Hitler guy say the same thing about living space out east, revenging on the Froggies for WW1 and er... wasn't there something about the Joos, too? Don't you know it's all hot air? A negotiating ploy on Iran's part? Sheeesh... over react much?
Posted by: newguy40 at October 30, 2008 07:54 PM (kduZC) 36
Don't worry about this. Once The Messiah is in charge, all of our former enemies will become our friends, and peace will reign the world. My libtard coworker assures me of this. Really.
Posted by: shibumi at October 30, 2008 07:54 PM (tZB/c) 37
Let's stuff a nuke in DD's ass and fire him into Iran.
It'd do the same amount of good. It would rid us of his incessant douchebaggery and turn Iran into a glass parking lot at the same time. Posted by: Pipe Barackage at October 30, 2008 07:54 PM (Z9IOH) 38
This is what happens when your parents are douchebags - you end up friendless, spending all your time trolling internet sites.
Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 07:54 PM (nrD02) 39
Ah, for the good old days of the Soviet Union - when trash talk had an air of plausibility.
I dunno, suicide bombing is pretty damn plausible. On the other hand, so is a massive bombing campaign in retaliation. Posted by: Ace's liver at October 30, 2008 07:56 PM (XIXhw) 40
30 David,
Iran does want Obama to win. In their minds, they're intimidating us into voting for the candidate more likely to capitulate to their demands. Our enemies think it worked with Spain, so why not try it with us? Posted by: Methos at October 30, 2008 07:57 PM (Ll22T) 41
[imagine some lame attempt at humor here]
Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 07:58 PM (nrD02) 42
Let's see... middle ground... middle ground....
Hey, Joe, what's halfway between "suicide bombers" and "olive branch"? --Barry, the day after his big coronation bash Posted by: red speck at October 30, 2008 07:58 PM (MoMVM) Posted by: SparcVark at October 30, 2008 07:59 PM (GE/vb) 44
Will Iran fit under the bus?
Posted by: B.O. at October 30, 2008 08:01 PM (NbR7V) 45
CBS/NYT polling. Gee dd , I just know those tools wouldn't skew polling results.
Posted by: aubrey at October 30, 2008 08:02 PM (joS+d) Posted by: Jones at October 30, 2008 08:02 PM (KOkrW) 47
Soy es El Wing
Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 30, 2008 08:02 PM (i73Rf) 48
You know what I love about PVC? You can shove it in your ass then use the opening to shove SOMETHING ELSE in your ass.
Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 08:03 PM (nrD02) 49
Balderdash. Up your meds DD
Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at October 30, 2008 08:04 PM (i73Rf) 50
We must also engage, however, in the more difficult task of understanding the sources of such madness. The essence of this tragedy, it seems to me, derives from a fundamental absence of empathy on the part of the attackers: an inability to imagine, or connect with, the humanity and suffering of others. Such a failure of empathy, such numbness to the pain of a child or the desperation of a parent, is not innate; nor, history tells us, is it unique to a particular culture, religion, or ethnicity. It may find expression in a particular brand of violence, and may be channeled by particular demagogues or fanatics. Most often, though, it grows out of a climate of poverty and ignorance, helplessness and despair.
--Sen. Barack Hussein Obama (19 Sept. 2001) Posted by: locus ceruleus at October 30, 2008 08:04 PM (e2mBS) 51
Sometimes I like to stick my finger all the way up my butt, then swirl it around on the inside of my nose so I can savor the smell all day long.
Posted by: diderot's dog at October 30, 2008 08:06 PM (nrD02) 52
I think the only response liberals have to this stuff is "don't you know they aren't the real power in Iran?"
Posted by: slickdpdx at October 30, 2008 08:06 PM (RIdwM) 53
>The essence of this tragedy, it seems to me, derives from a fundamental absence of empathy on the part of the attackers nah, I'm pretty sure it's because they are ignorant fucking savages. Posted by: Jones at October 30, 2008 08:08 PM (KOkrW) 54
Maybe its time to vaporize Eniwetok again...as an object lesson.
I can think of better targets, but yes, this is a very good idea. Most people have never seen a nuclear explosion. They need an education. Posted by: lmg at October 30, 2008 08:10 PM (A/vgC) Posted by: The Great Satan at October 30, 2008 08:11 PM (PD1tk) 56
Iran would have to be racist to attack us if the Messiah becomes dictator president.
Posted by: robtr at October 30, 2008 08:12 PM (C6ME0) Posted by: sithson at October 30, 2008 08:12 PM (K1+tY) 58
I prefer 'beefy'.
Posted by: Uncle Sam at October 30, 2008 08:12 PM (KOkrW) 59
Hey Immagonnajackit, bring it. Here in NC, we don't even need a permit to buy a long gun, and all we have to do for a hand gun is buy a $5 permit. I'd like to see a shifty-eyed creep in a stuffed vest last two seconds around here. I don't know what the opposite of a target rich environment is, but after he sends one of those guys our way; they'll probably just call it "Getting Old North Stated".
Posted by: shank at October 30, 2008 08:13 PM (HfjkQ) 60
You'd think the nuts in Tehran would hold off on this sort of blather until after the O! is installed in office because stuff like this is only going to help McCain if it manages to get around. My sentiments exactly. You beat me to it. Posted by: Twinks at October 30, 2008 08:14 PM (7QUxD) 61
must.not.write.this. must.stop. can't.stop. god.save.me. I think they actually might be afraid of Obama and what his election would do to all the people who have only been told America's the bogeyman without any concrete proof (other than ancient news and agiprop). Can it be the Iranian leadership needs a white devil in charge to keep the fear and control working? It's almost more than a conservative such as myself can contemplate. Therefore I'm not going to click on the post button. Oh shit. Posted by: pc at October 30, 2008 08:14 PM (S7zPk) 62
Iran ought to be supporting McCain, because if O is elected there will be an Israeli strike on their nuclear project sometime between November 5th and January 20th.
Posted by: lmg at October 30, 2008 08:15 PM (A/vgC) 63
I agree with the Iranians, fuck diplomacy... they can try sending some suicide bombers while we carpet bomb Tehran
Posted by: MikeC at October 30, 2008 08:18 PM (8nB5X) 64
"Mark my words," the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy." Consider your words marked, Joe. Posted by: JackStraw at October 30, 2008 08:21 PM (VW9/y) 65
Everyone understands Obama's going to pull a shocker if elected and call back 99% of our military worldwide. He's going to shut her down for a while. This is no shit. That's why Biden was saying, you're going to freak on us people but wait and watch. It's unsanity but it's what he's going to do if elected. We are talking just pulling up and closing shop in a bunch of countries. He's going to cut defense spending by a bunch and use the cash for Escalades for everyone who will ride the wild pony with him. A regular community organizer *cough* stalinist *cough*. He may never be unseated. He's about to buy a shit load of allegiance. That's how it's done boys and girls. Posted by: pc at October 30, 2008 08:25 PM (S7zPk) 66
thank you for your concerns, pc.
Posted by: ace at October 30, 2008 08:35 PM (1WR4H) 67
They can send suicide bombers - we can send B-1 bombers.
I wonder which will be more effective at obtaining long range political goals... I think we should institute the Ryan Doctrine. Posted by: Drumwaster at October 30, 2008 08:37 PM (8oH1E) 68
Tell me, does this militarism make me look fat?
Posted by: United States of America at October 30, 2008 09:15 PM (WDySP) 69
Any culture/country/society that doesn't value the sanctity of human life deserves to be culled of its aggressors when it initiates mortal combat, with impunity.
Bring it, my friends. Posted by: Capt. Obvious at October 30, 2008 09:36 PM (UU4Hu) 70
He's going to cut defense spending by a bunch and use the cash for Escalades for everyone who will ride the wild pony with him.
I'll take an Escalade with 18" rims if I may; swap it for a sack of crack; call it a very good night indeed; worship the trees in the morning; and demand my new Cadillac Escallade in the morning and do it again. Thank You Proclaimed One. Posted by: Drive By Druid at October 30, 2008 09:54 PM (p9EDF) 71
So, they are going to send 13 year-olds to suicide bomb us?
Is that anything like sending 9 year old to vandalize campaign signs and replace them with others of the opposing party? Yep. Posted by: TXMarko at October 30, 2008 10:06 PM (2nTuL) 72
Actually, I could see Obama reacting very violently if challenged by Iran or someone else. Even if he agrees with all of their aims and their methods, it isn't wise to try and upstage a God-in-his-own-mind.
Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at October 30, 2008 10:16 PM (hCSTJ) 73
I think we should institute the Ryan Doctrine.
They've confessed in advance to an act of war. Suckers. Please don't waste an entire fucking year telegraphing your intentions by farting around with the UN. And ask Russia if they'd like a warm-water port. Posted by: Al at October 30, 2008 11:44 PM (Lk931) 74
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