Ohio Rules Homeless Can List Park Bench as a Residence for Registration and Voting Purposes

Excellent. No problem verifying them that I can see.

Why not just list Brownlee Avenue? Everyone else does it, and at least it has a mailbox.

Thanks to Sheryl.

Posted by: Ace at 03:03 PM

Comments

1
These elections are just such a hassle. Thankfully, this will be the last one we need to have.

Posted by: billypaintbrush at October 28, 2008 03:07 PM (sE1TD)

2 Hobos rejoice!!

Posted by: ChangeuCantBelieveIn at October 28, 2008 03:07 PM (rvIvq)

3 What - you think this is a new tactic?

Check out WA GOV. '04. They actually got to use the City of Seattle administration building as their address.

Posted by: Editor at October 28, 2008 03:08 PM (GTpOW)

4 That makes the 2008 Hobo-Hunt a lot easier, knowing where they are sleeping and all.

Posted by: ED GRUBERMAN at October 28, 2008 03:09 PM (7RoxY)

5 I was right ... Clinton appointed the mother fucker. Anyone surprised?

Posted by: incognito at October 28, 2008 03:09 PM (Rpam5)

6 it just never ends, me thinks!

Posted by: new at October 28, 2008 03:11 PM (MobLv)

7 The Sixth Circuit did us well last time... We'll see who's on the panel now.

Posted by: someone at October 28, 2008 03:11 PM (zHoxL)

8 Bitch gettin' 'em served for jury duty, ya know?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 28, 2008 03:11 PM (5aa4z)

9 Ohio's a special kind of place, isn't it?

Posted by: Christoph at October 28, 2008 03:12 PM (hawOV)

10 Zombie James Madison won't stop punching me.

What do I do?

Posted by: Gabriel Sutherland at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (AHrTm)

Folks:

Keep this moving quickly... PBS has an online poll posted, asking if Sarah Palin is qualified. Apparently the left wing knew about this in advance and are flooding the voting with NO votes. The poll will be reported on PBS and picked up by mainstream media. It can influence undecided voters in swing states. Please do two things -- takes 20 seconds. 1) Go to PBS and vote YES! 2) Then send this to every McCain-Palin supporter you know, and urge them to vote and pass it on. The last thing we need is PBS saying their viewers don't think Sarah Palin is qualified. The comment feature won't let me post the link and i cant use that tiny url thing.

Posted by: geoff at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (8MLWh)

12 Well, everyone has a right to vote. And, from a DNC position, everything has a right to vote to, so long as it votes DNC. I wonder if the bench is registered too?

Posted by: Penfold at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (lF2Kk)

13 What the hell is happening in my home state!?

Posted by: Alex at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (4siCm)

14 Wait a minute.

Does this mean ACORN can bus in thousands of people from out of state to cast provisional ballots using a park bench as their address?

Or do you actually have to be a verified homeless person to participate in this fraud...errr...legitimate election tactic?

Posted by: cbharmon at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (+7CmB)

15 By the way, this DOES help McCain, you know.

It's going to get play and it's going to piss Ohio voters off to no end.

Posted by: Editor at October 28, 2008 03:13 PM (GTpOW)

16 In a more civilized time, there was tar and feathers for a judge like this.

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at October 28, 2008 03:14 PM (MMC8r)

17 Does this mean hobos can put down the abandoned rail cars strewn about the station too?

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at October 28, 2008 03:14 PM (Ulsfn)

18 Well, everyone has a right to vote.

No they don't.

Posted by: Manco at October 28, 2008 03:15 PM (5QPbL)

19 Does this mean hobos can put down the abandoned rail cars strewn about the station too?

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at October 28, 2008 03:14 PM (Ulsfn)

Cleaned that out last Saturday.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 28, 2008 03:18 PM (5aa4z)

20 geoff,

enough with the online polls. Online polls are bullshit. No one gives a wet shit what they say. It's purely a traffic suck by the company hosting the poll -- they count on people giving them hits to "freep" or "anti-freep" the poll.

Please stop. It's a waste of your time and makes you seem pretty unsophisticated.

Posted by: ace at October 28, 2008 03:19 PM (1WR4H)

21 and it's frustrating to keep being told I need to waste my time and posts flogging stupid internet polls so that we "win."

Who cares if we win?

I could only barely rouse myself to link the Time traffic-suck best blogger poll and I was a contestant. I gave up after three days when it became apparent there was no end point to the voting and Time just intended to keep it open in perpetuity, relying on bloggers to send traffic their way for a vote that didn't fucking matter.

Posted by: ace at October 28, 2008 03:23 PM (1WR4H)

22 And enough with spelling "Jeff" as "Geoff." Or should that be "Eonoff?"

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at October 28, 2008 03:24 PM (MMC8r)

23 If I see any 6 year old kids with bowler hats & fake moustaches at the polls, I'm gonna be pissed.

Posted by: Joanie at October 28, 2008 03:24 PM (Z9tCp)

24 When I was living in Manhattan in the 1980s, a federal judge there did the same thing. My friend began referring to the homeless we saw on park benches as "potential voters," as in, "Look, here are some more potential voters."

Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at October 28, 2008 03:25 PM (rfaI6)

I am so embarrassed to live here. Really, we're not ALL inbreds.

I can only imagine what sort of fuckery will take place next Tuesday around here.

Posted by: kevlarchick at October 28, 2008 03:28 PM (TNuqz)

26

I guess we know where Hobo Derby '08 is going to be held. There going to have rename Columbus to Culling.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at October 28, 2008 03:28 PM (lhxhu)

27 Does this mean ACORN can bus in thousands of people from out of state to cast provisional ballots using a park bench as their address?

Eh. It's not that simple. In Illinois the homeless can vote in Federal, State, City, County, and Muni elections as long as they are registered to vote at a location that receives mail for them. This could be a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or maybe even a Democratic Party Office. OK. That last one I made up, but as far as I know nobody has tried to do that.

It's a big invitation for fraud in my view. I think I just might try to hold elections in November to take advantage...oh shit, we do hold elections when it is cold. Well in the primaries we hold them in February...wait, still cold.

Lets just pay people to vote.

Posted by: Gabriel Sutherland at October 28, 2008 03:29 PM (AHrTm)

If I see any 6 year old kids with bowler hats & fake moustaches at the polls, I'm gonna be pissed.

Send them my way, will you?

Posted by: Casting Director for the Clockwork Orange Remake 12 years in the Future at October 28, 2008 03:31 PM (mUWtd)

29 Why not a fire hydrant, I want a fire hydrant!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at October 28, 2008 03:31 PM (4L5Tl)

30 The Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless is made up of some of the most worthless cocksuckers that have ever used up oxygen that would've been better employed going to other organisms. The assholes are so fucked up that even my bleeding heart dumbass friend refused to have anything to do with them because they don't really help those wretches try to get better, rather they enable them to continue their self-destructive behavior. This is just a case in point where they're expending efforts to game the election, not doing anything to help the homeless.

Posted by: Captain Hate at October 28, 2008 03:31 PM (m2sQh)

Hey, just because you live in a van down by the river and smell vaguely of saurkraut doesn't mean you give up your right to vote.

Posted by: Matt Foley at October 28, 2008 03:33 PM (TxTIh)

This is just a case in point where they're expending efforts to game the election, not doing anything to help the homeless.

Dude, you are so right. That guy with the crack habit, or with the untreated mental disorder, don't need funds and volunteers driving them to exercise their vote.

Hell, most of those poor SOBs will be all "Who do I vote for, again?"

To use money donated for food, clothing, shelter, or treatment on this is actually fucking sickening.

Posted by: Lee at October 28, 2008 03:38 PM (TxTIh)

33 That is the dumbest damn thing I've ever heard of . . . no wonder this poor sick country is sliding down the sewer.

Posted by: rplat at October 28, 2008 03:38 PM (Qrnps)

34 I'm wondering when there will be some concern over the disenfranchisement (via vote cancellation by illegal voters) of people like me who register, have ID, and actually know something about the candidates and the issues.
We need a class-action suit on this crap, and a Supreme Court ruling requiring state-issued ID to vote, at a minimum. I'd prefer the minimum ID requirement be a passport, since I can see the D-state ruling classes simply creating a special "voter ID" that they'll hand out freely to the usual suspects--homeless, felons, etc.
I mean, what's next for the Dems? Busing the contents of every insane asylum, Alzheimer's ward and "special needs" class in the country to the polls with little signs hung around their necks instructing the poll workers to help them vote the straight D ticket? (I guess people in a vegetative state will have to vote by mail.) Does the Constitution really say everyone has a right to vote?

Posted by: Flubber at October 28, 2008 03:40 PM (UDqSH)

35 Does my turtle bowl count too? Will they send me an Ohio absentee ballot down here in FL?

Posted by: Purple Avenger's pet turtle at October 28, 2008 03:42 PM (OqXyp)

36 His new address:

Ho Bo Jones
1234 Big Refrigerator Box
End of Alley, OH [insert zip code here]

Posted by: Coogen at October 28, 2008 03:43 PM (h4UWR)

37 I'm wondering when there will be some concern over the disenfranchisement (via vote cancellation by illegal voters) of people like me who register, have ID, and actually know something about the candidates and the issues.

You're fucking kidding, right?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 28, 2008 03:44 PM (5aa4z)

38 California's Motor-Voter registration form has had that for several years now:

http://www.andrewsite.com/images/DL44c.jpg

Posted by: Pat R. at October 28, 2008 03:46 PM (3rwFl)

But to establish "residency", even on a park bench, requires intent. Many homeless people are either too drugged up or mentally off-balance to form the requisite intent to want to return or remain on the park bench.

Doesnt' Ohio know about intent?

Posted by: kelley in virginia at October 28, 2008 03:47 PM (ioTid)

40 We should all push hard at the state level for laws mandating the same purple finger assurance of one vote we see in Iraq.

If Iraqis can see the value in ensuring each citizen only votes once it should be an easy sell in the US.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at October 28, 2008 03:47 PM (Ulsfn)

I'm not sure why they did this. It is just getting all of your panties in a bunch more than they already are! It's not like Obama NEEDS these votes he is going to win anyway. McCain is the one who needs ALL OF THE HELP HE CAN GET!

Tsk tsk to all of you sore loosers. When we win I'm going to let 7 stinky hobos bukkake me because that's how much I care for the downtrodden.

Posted by: OBAMAGIRL at October 28, 2008 03:51 PM (nrjPS)

Where can I pick up the cigarettes I was promised?

Posted by: homeless dude at October 28, 2008 03:55 PM (m2CN7)

43 I voted 16 times and all I got was this fucking Mary Landrieu shirt. Where's my money?

Posted by: Actual quote from Louisiana at October 28, 2008 04:02 PM (PD1tk)

Ok, time to send mail to park benches.

Every time some junk mail solicitor asks you for your address, type in:

Park bench, the 3rd one near the fountain

Columubus OHIO

This will be great on credit applications. Now I can list a second, even a third residence! And I can sue for discrimination when the Post Office refuses to deliver my Penny Saver to 'Park Bench under the Shady Tree, Kensington Street Park, Silver Spring MD.'

Posted by: dusty at October 28, 2008 04:11 PM (MDkjt)

45 Obamagirl,

Please. The grown ups are talking. I hear Lizzie is available for a playdate. Why don't I call her mommy and the two of you can play "Comrade Comrade" or "Gulag Re-Education Camp Barbie" together?

Posted by: Milesdei at October 28, 2008 04:18 PM (ACHxk)

I am going to travel to Ohio. While I am there I will be homeless.

Question: where is the best to place to vote?

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at October 28, 2008 04:26 PM (5GNS+)

47 Elwood: They don't have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.

Posted by: Techie at October 28, 2008 04:27 PM (EVMm7)

48 LOL - this same thing went around except replaced "left" with "right."

"Keep this moving quickly... PBS has an online poll posted, asking if Sarah Palin is qualified. Apparently the left wing knew about this in advance and are flooding the voting with NO votes. The poll will be reported on PBS and picked up by mainstream media. It can influence undecided voters in swing states. Please do two things -- takes 20 seconds. 1) Go to PBS and vote YES! 2) Then send this to every McCain-Palin supporter you know, and urge them to vote and pass it on. The last thing we need is PBS saying their viewers don't think Sarah Palin is qualified. The comment feature won't let me post the link and i cant use that tiny url thing."

Posted by: Comehomenow at October 28, 2008 04:30 PM (ylJnO)

Yeah Having people list a park bench as ther home address shouldn't cause any problems...

Bitch gettin' 'em served for jury duty, ya know?

I bet there won't be any problem getting them tax refunds even if they don't pay taxes, plus if they're really corrupt sly they may be able to get several tax refunds each year.

Posted by: adk46er at October 28, 2008 04:34 PM (KuBSF)

Obamagirl:

Loser=someone who didn't win

Looser=your vagina after banging everyone on that Bon Jovi cover band last night.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at October 28, 2008 04:39 PM (5GNS+)

51 Ah, homeless OK, Republican, not OK.

Similar thing in VA; in jail - great! Not resident - fine! Military, NO!

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at October 28, 2008 04:45 PM (1Mn8Z)

52 Wanna have some fun. Let's go move all of the park benches around next Monday night, and screw with all of their heads. They'll forget to vote on Tuesday.

Posted by: roy at October 28, 2008 04:56 PM (cB77O)

53 Didn't Jefferson said that we should rise up and overthrow the government every 25 years? IT'S LONG overdue!!

Posted by: TennDon at October 28, 2008 06:02 PM (TTjg8)

54 <<How about they make the homeless use absentee ballots, but only if the county mails the ballots to them?>

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