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Damnit, I Told You This Was Serious: Hugh Hefner Laying Off Playboy Bunnies in Reaction to Worldwide Economic Turmoil

Seriously. That's not even spin.

Well, it is spin, but not mine.

It has to be noted that Playboy has kinda been dying and flirting with bankruptcy for some time. Penthouse and genuine hard-core pornography cut into the core business of the magazine pretty badly. For a while I think they made money off their cable tv soft (?) porn pay channel, but I'm guessing that's barely profitable now due to the fact that, um, you can get all the free porn you want on the internet.

Not sure what Playboy's draw is anymore. Yes, some of their chicks are hotter (though in that particular airbrushed Playboy way), but they're not doing anything overtly sexual. So you get not-really-porn with cute but airbrushed chicks, but, Hey!, you get that important editorial by Norman Fucking Mailer on how much America sucks every other month.

Interestingly, the core message of "the Playboy lifestyle" -- why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? -- is the business' undoing.

I think his daughter is just trying to keep this outdated business afloat long enough so that this Nasty Old Satyr still has his mansion when he dies. No greater love hath any daughter for her father and etc.

Still. Playboy bunnies. Being laid off. (Off, I said.)

The writers of The House Bunny just emailed me to say, "What, he couldn't have announced this two months ago?"

You Know Why Hugh Hefner Pisses Me Off? In order of increasing revulsion...

1) His cutesy attempt to brand a soft-porn rag as somehow classy by including advice about gold-stereo-cables and the occasional crappy article from a name writer who's obviously slumming and phoning it in for Playboy. Seriously -- have you read the "articles" in Playboy? Sometimes I've been happy to see a name author on the cover. But the article inside always turns out to be the crappiest, most autopilot piece of shit I've read by that author. When an author gets turned down for a piece by other respectable outlets, he turns to Playboy, which pays good rates and is always hungry to get a name on its cover to sell the idea it's a prestige magazine.

2) His odious libertine leftist politics. It should be noted that the sexual politics sold by Playboy only can possibly work for either 1) an 18-to-25-year-old male with a good job and lots of disposable income, who can really get away with the girl-a-week sexual adventurism Playboy preaches, 2) a millionaire Old Satyr like Hugh Hefner himself, or 3) a non-talent bitter dwarf who hangs out at 'The Mansion" all the time and takes advantage of young women who have somehow convinced themselves that the path to stardom runs through sucking Bill Maher's dick in the grotto.

3) And that segues into the worst thing of all: He's basically got young, kinda-dumb and starstruck girls working at his Mansion as informal-arrangement whores. Because he's duped them into thinking fucking Bill Maher and his fellow aging satyrs will somehow get them "discovered." And to sell this notion to gullible young woman -- most dirt poor and desperately trying to escape the lower class -- he hangs pictures of the three Playboy bunnies who ever got work outside Playboy itself or an escort service, Pamela Anderson, Adrianne Barbeau and Anna Niccole Smith.

There have been, who knows, 3 to 6,000 bunnies either photographed in Playboy or living as whores at the mansion. Three ( four? how many? no more than ten) have actually had their careers shoot up like a rocket enough to star in such high-budget movies as Creepshow, The Fog, Swamp Thing, Barb Wire, and whatever that excrescent Anna Niccole Smith/Andrew Dice Clay straight-to-DVD movie was called.

But on this thin reed, he hangs out the hope to all these very young, very poor, and very naive girls that if they just slip off to the Balloon Room with Bill Maher and give him a handjob, all their dreams will come true.

This part of it is simply nasty. That's immoral -- and I don't mean the sex. I mean taking advantage of these women with gross lies.

And encouraging them to blow the venomous pockfaced mutant dwarf Bill Maher.

Posted by: Ace at 04:43 PM



Comments

1 Awesome.

And may Hugh Heffner burn in Hell, and as quickly as possible.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 04:44 PM (hawOV)

2

How the hell do they expect to make money from pron when it's free on the Intarwebs?

 

Posted by: Andy at September 26, 2008 04:44 PM (C3mTI)

3 They've been losing money to all the free pron on the internet for awhile.  They've even tried to compete a bit, with more risque pics, especially with their online-only photoshoots.  But why shell of the money for the mag when you can just get the pics off the net, often before the mag even comes out?  For the articles? ha

Posted by: brak at September 26, 2008 04:46 PM (6AazP)

4 Look, all I know is I stepped away from Penthouse for about a decade, and the next time I looked it was nothing but pictures of girls peeing.  That can't have been a good sign.

Posted by: Kensington at September 26, 2008 04:49 PM (kFwRi)

5 The only thing that could save Playboy is an exclusive pictorial of...


...Sarah Palin


...with Cindy McCain


...and Meghan McCain.


That's what I said!

Posted by: EC at September 26, 2008 04:49 PM (j2Tjh)

6

Well, look on the bright side.  All the single male morons have just had their chances of meeting a totally hot, desparate woman who will live in a hovel with them upped from 1 in a million to 1.01 in a million chances.

Always the silver lining.

Posted by: kat-missouri at September 26, 2008 04:51 PM (YLs4U)

7 I read Playboy for the articles.

Posted by: polynikes at September 26, 2008 04:51 PM (m2CN7)

8 I wonder if Hugh will lay off his girlfriends anytime soon.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 04:52 PM (hawOV)

9
Well, if he is forced to liquidate, maybe, Ace can pick one up cheap? You know, for the blog.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at September 26, 2008 04:52 PM (+TM2U)

10 Playboy jumped the shark decades ago.

Posted by: Chopper at September 26, 2008 04:53 PM (o1ZtJ)

11 "I read Playboy for the articles."

As a kid I used to read Playboy for the articles, because the pictures were so damn boring. Had to pick up Hustler or Penthouse to see anything that wasn't all washed out and blurry-looking.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 04:53 PM (hawOV)

12 Had to pick up Hustler or Penthouse to see anything that wasn't all washed out and blurry-looking.

Most people would blame the squinted eyes and rhythmic movements associated with 'reading' material such as this, but YMMV.

Posted by: CUS at September 26, 2008 04:55 PM (bbXZq)

13 This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the world ends,

This is the way the word ends,

not with a bang, but a

OMFG!!!1!!!WTF11!!!!1!1!eleventy!!!11

Posted by: Bag O' Hammers at September 26, 2008 04:56 PM (FOXSU)

14 I read somewhere on the internet (so it must be true) that ol' Hugh can't have normal sex anymore. He has to have two girls do a lesbo scene while he masturbates.

/rod serling voice = on

Submitted for your approval, a horny old millionaire, publisher of a magazine that has encouraged young men to wildly fornicate with any woman in sight,surrounded by beautiful women, only he is unable to have sex with any of them. How pathetic is that? I suspect this is God displaying His extraordinarily piquant sense of humor, as He always does... in the Twilight Zone.

/rod serling voice = off

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 04:58 PM (FO+YO)

15 That damn Beaver-shaving is to blame!  At least that is what the lady with the moustache down the street told me.

Posted by: Joanie at September 26, 2008 04:59 PM (Z9tCp)

16 >>>I read somewhere on the internet (so it must be true) that ol' Hugh can't have normal sex anymore. He has to have two girls do a lesbo scene while he masturbates.

Have I said one mean thing to you?

Posted by: ace at September 26, 2008 05:00 PM (1WR4H)

17

And NOW we move into a full scale Depression. 

Posted by: kevlarchick at September 26, 2008 05:03 PM (TNuqz)

18 So, logically, if you mnasturbate while watching lesbian porn, you are the same as Hugh Hefner?

Posted by: Bag O' Hammers at September 26, 2008 05:03 PM (FOXSU)

19 that was a mnasty mnistake.

Posted by: Bag O' Hammers at September 26, 2008 05:05 PM (FOXSU)

20 two girls do a lesbo scene while he masturbates.

So, this is not normal?

Posted by: CUS at September 26, 2008 05:05 PM (bbXZq)

21

Hey, has anyone seen Hefner's Playboy's Penthouse shows from 1960. Basically the idea was that Hugh would have interesting, hip people come to a cocktail party in his penthouse and mingle and entertain on camera. I couldn't find the intro, but it's an awesome example of retro, 50's style cool.

Clip 1

Clip 2

 

Posted by: Maetenloch at September 26, 2008 05:10 PM (1lhPq)

22 I remember the first one I ever read. It was in my dad's suitcase (one of the interior pockets) when he got back from a business trip.

I sure do miss my dad, my eyesight, and hairless palms. Sigh.

Posted by: mrcaniac at September 26, 2008 05:11 PM (Rbulg)

23 Wait, Bill Maher is straight?

You've got to be shitting me.

Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at September 26, 2008 05:17 PM (3kKVA)

24

There is a book out there that was written by an ex-girlfriend that gives explicit detail on the nights that Hef would boink his harem. He takes Viagra. Yeah, I know huge surprise. Each lady either blows him or rides his winky. So pretty much, he's a carnival ride.

Sorry if this is too vulgar. I am still trying to get the feel of things around here.

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:17 PM (Jna2g)

25 Playboy bunnies have become the latest victim of the credit crunch. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

For THE LOVE OF GOD!! 

Someone on Capitol Hill write a g*dd@mn check, ASAP!!!

Posted by: Che Pizza at September 26, 2008 05:18 PM (SPSOE)

26 KCLady, it's pretty vulgar. By comparison, I feel this is much cleaner.

But only by comparison.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 05:19 PM (hawOV)

27 ********************************************
If I have to hear ONE MORE freekin Democrat tell us how Obama wanted to stay on the campaign trail and not go to the senate during the financial crisis because
"Obama believes that people want to hear about how a president will handle a crisis and they want to see what a candidate is all about"
REEEEEALLY? can someone please remind these dolts that THEIR candidate has been running for president LONGER THEN ANY OTHER CANDIDATE IN THE HISTORY OF THE COUNTRY!! I mean EIGHTEEN months man...if you havent gotten your message across yet, maybe you should RETHINK YOUR MESSAGE
how long does Obambi need??? this gives a whole new meaning to nuance

Posted by: christy at September 26, 2008 05:21 PM (2epx0)

28

I keep seeing ad's for Bill Maher's new "documentary" (scare quotes, nice) about religion.  I'm sure that it will be highly "enlightening".  I do note that he found some nut who thinks he's Jesus to interview.  Classy.

In the trailer it looks like he might slam Islam as well as Christianity.  If he does I'll have to give him credit for having the courage of his convictions.  We'll see.

Posted by: Big E at September 26, 2008 05:21 PM (uw1/g)

29 Like any addiction, addiction to porn needs more stimulus (ie harder core action) to get the same effect.  As harder core porn becomes more mainstream there will be a day when famous actresses talk openly about anal sex in family magazines. 

Posted by: JimD at September 26, 2008 05:22 PM (j/wD+)

30 Shannon Tweed has built a fine career out of doing soft core private eye films that can only be seen on Cinemax and blowing Gene Simmons, which as horrible as it sounds, makes her classier than if she was blowing Bill Maher

Posted by: Sean at September 26, 2008 05:23 PM (3LifV)

31 Sorry Christoph. I will try to keep things cleaner.

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:24 PM (Jna2g)

32 oooops sorry to interrupt your girlie talk boys

BOOBS just bore me...

Posted by: christy at September 26, 2008 05:25 PM (2epx0)

33 Adrianne Barbeau rocked in Swamp Thing

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 26, 2008 05:25 PM (hzcgO)

34 KCLady, the reference to sex doesn't bother me. The reference to Hugh Heffner bothers me.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 05:25 PM (hawOV)

35 I stepped away from Penthouse for about a decade,

I did the same, and the next time I looked it was hard-core pron, up close and personal in high-def. 

Playboy's still in bidness, eh?  Haven;t seen one on years, although haven't been looking for it either.  I mean, who in the hell PAYS for pron these days?  Not like ya kind find it pretty much for free............


Posted by: Ken at September 26, 2008 05:26 PM (T2DTj)

36

This part of it is simply nasty. That's immoral -- and I don't mean the sex. I mean taking advantage of these women with gross lies.

And encouraging them to blow the venomous pockfaced mutant dwarf Bill Maher.

I'm so glad I read that last line.  Because, for a moment, I thought that ace had gone all moral or something.

Then I'd have to go comment some place else.

Posted by: kat-missouri at September 26, 2008 05:26 PM (YLs4U)

37 Shannon Tweed.  mmmm Shannon Tweed.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 26, 2008 05:26 PM (VBon8)

38 Laura Ingraham played some clip today where Hef said he was proudest of 'questioning the outdated socio-sexual mores of a hypocritical culture,' or some lame shit like that.

This immediately summated in my mind to "My claim to fame is teenage pregnancy, exploding illegitimacy, the spread of AIDS and STDs and the overall decline of the culture."  Hef's like the same old tired revolutionaries of the Bolshevik Revolution-- had some grand ideas of some bold new Utopia that turned out to be an utter crock and just generally fucked things up and caused a whole lot of damage.

I just hope he lives long enough to see utter ruin.

And that's not a prude speaking, by any means, but this fucker's a real slimebucket.

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at September 26, 2008 05:27 PM (MMC8r)

39

>>KCLady, the reference to sex doesn't bother me. The reference to Hugh Heffner bothers me.

Noted. I will keep that in mind next time.

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:27 PM (Jna2g)

40 If I were to compile a list of 5 people who were most responsible for destroying the culture, Hefner would be the first one I'd choose.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 05:28 PM (FO+YO)

41 blowing Gene Simmons, which as horrible as it sounds

Gene is a nice Jewish boy, and a George W. Bush fan.

So, not all that horrible, really.

Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at September 26, 2008 05:30 PM (3kKVA)

42 In the trailer it looks like he might slam Islam as well as Christianity.  If he does I'll have to give him credit for having the courage of his convictions.  We'll see.

Maher used to be pretty tough on Islam back in the late 90's.

Then he decided to be all edgy and go against the grain after 9/11.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 26, 2008 05:30 PM (Ds4I5)

43

One of his girlfriends wanted to be in Playboy since she was five years old.

I don't know about you guys, when I was five years, I had no fucking idea what Playboy was nor did I ever dream of posing nude for some dirty magazines.

 

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:32 PM (Jna2g)

44 "I just hope he lives long enough to see utter ruin."

I hope he is kidnapped by a vengelful father whose daughter's life was ruined, and is taken to a backwoods shack.

There, I hope the father has Saw on "high def" DVD for inspiration. I hope Hugh Heffner is tortured for days on end because the father is also a medical professional and knows when to stop, provide aid, sustenance, rest, raw powder cocaine on cuts to stop the bleeding, and when to start again. I hope he targets Hugh Heffner's nervous system specifically in addition to disfiguring and mitilating. I hope the pain is intense, and magnified by drugs and fear.

Or I hope Hugh Heffner goes to Hell. I expect this will be much the same thing.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 05:32 PM (hawOV)

45

>>If I were to compile a list of 5 people who were most responsible for destroying the culture, Hefner would be the first one I'd choose.

I think the dude that runs Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt  should be on that list as well.

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:34 PM (Jna2g)

46 "I think the dude that runs Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt  should be on that list as well."

And Lyndon Johnson.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 05:35 PM (hawOV)

47 Laura Ingraham played some clip today where Hef said he was proudest of 'questioning the outdated socio-sexual mores of a hypocritical culture,' or some lame shit like that.

Good. Maybe he can repeat that line to himself when he's on his deathbed, gasping out his life's last breaths.

Maybe then he'll repent of his foolishness.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 05:35 PM (FO+YO)

48

So, what you are saying, Ace, is that the founding principle that undergirds the entire Playboy "Empire" is exactly that which similarly motivated the William Jefferson Clinton presidency, to whit (said in an Arkansas accent, with a touch of bravado):  "Unlimited pussy for me and a couple of my closest confidantes, and fuck the consequences to the pussy, and the country." 

Sounds about right.

Posted by: Sharkman at September 26, 2008 05:36 PM (UioS4)

49 Hell, even before Algore invented the Internet Playboy was lame. When I raided my older brother's porn collection when I was a kid and home alone, I always skipped Playboy and went straight to Hustler. Rennaissance paintings give me a bigger hard-on than Playboy.

Posted by: Aaron at September 26, 2008 05:37 PM (NMlyI)

50

>> And Lyndon Johnson.

And Billy J Clinton.

Posted by: KCLady at September 26, 2008 05:38 PM (Jna2g)

51

I don't know about you guys, when I was five years, I had no fucking idea what Playboy was nor did I ever dream of posing nude for some dirty magazines.

And see where that attitude has gotten you - now you're posting semi-filthy comments on a foul-mouthed blog full of morons and I bet you didn't dream of that either when you were a little girl.

Posted by: Maetenloch at September 26, 2008 05:39 PM (1lhPq)

52 Ace, ya forgot to mention that midget, Bill Mahr.

Posted by: GarandFan at September 26, 2008 05:41 PM (eJ32B)

53

The Onion got it right a few years ago with the News in Brief:

Playmate of the Month Mulls Her Option

Posted by: Michael Rittenhouse at September 26, 2008 05:45 PM (zS9LP)

54 And Billy J Clinton.

Naw.  I like Billy Jeff. Thanks to the escapades of the satyr-in-chief, radical feminism is now pretty much a laughingstock everywhere (except, admittedly, in academia).

Good work, Bill!

Also, I would classify Bill Clinton as one of Hugh Hefner's spiritual children, so it would be redundant to have both of them on the list.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 05:47 PM (FO+YO)

55 And no, I don't really call for violence on Hugh Heffner. I was exagerating and speaking emotionally.

If that's God's judgment, so be it, but it isn't my place.

Posted by: Christoph at September 26, 2008 05:51 PM (hawOV)

56 Somebody needs to lob a "your getting bjs at the playboy mansion" grenade at Maher on his show.  I dunno, maybe it's already happened (I tried to watch a clip here a while back and could only take about 10 seconds of it) or maybe this is something that Bill is happy to acknowledge so it wouldn't matter. 

Posted by: rockhead at September 26, 2008 05:51 PM (DvaIL)

57 I had a Lionel train and tinker toys when I was 5.   They were more exciting than Playboy.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 26, 2008 05:53 PM (hzcgO)

58

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, what a relief! I thought I was the only one that hated that reprobate with a passion.

Ace, you could add to your litany of misdeeds that many of the girls put themselves through lots of surgery to be accepted to Playboy. Not just the obvious boobjobs: rib removals.

Mutilation.

Posted by: captkidney at September 26, 2008 05:54 PM (/RDxc)

59 I read somewhere on the internet (so it must be true) that ol' Hugh can't have normal sex anymore

Viagra takes care of the erection. However, the orgasm may be hindered by an enlarged or removed prostate.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at September 26, 2008 06:06 PM (+TM2U)

60 Yeah, I know huge surprise. Each lady either blows him or rides his winky. So pretty much, he's a carnival ride.

He's 83 years old! Do you want him to break a hip?

Posted by: Boobenfloppinschtoppin at September 26, 2008 06:08 PM (+TM2U)

61 However, the orgasm may be hindered by an enlarged or removed prostate.

Or, the orgasm may be hindered by boredom brought on by a half century of empty, meaningless, unfulfilling sexual encounters, and a fruitless quest for the next sexual thrill. After a while, you run out of thrills. And then you're pooched.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 06:13 PM (FO+YO)

62 Single best post I ever read here Ace.
Although Playboy occasionally had some decent short stories 30 years ago.
You forgot the drugs in your equation though. For a good 25 years there they were as important as the rest in the Playboy scheme for stardom.
Also midgets, ever notice the hangers on, ala Bill Maher, are all midgets?
Short guys hoping for the throwaways.  They should be beat and shown the door like hobos.

Posted by: Rocks at September 26, 2008 06:17 PM (7rbe9)

63 Fuck, Ace.

Sometimes you're brilliant. Disgust with that shit is the difference between a libertarian and a conservative.

Unless you're a young buck, then I'll cut you some slack cause you don't know shit. I've got 6 and 8 year old daughters. My daughters ever show up at a place like that, some heads are getting busted. If you don't have kids yet, just wait.

Kid will move you from libertarian to conservative, if you haven't already.

Posted by: LiveFreeOrDie at September 26, 2008 06:20 PM (RtG2V)

64

As lame as Hef's libertinism is, I recall his politics being a lot less offensively leftist than those of Larry Flynt, or Bob Guccione (the other two prominent nudie mag publishers).

I also recall Playboy being a lot more, well, conservative about sex. By that I mean no lesbian scenes, no "letters", half of which are obviously phony and the other half of which you sure as hell hope are.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at September 26, 2008 06:25 PM (ujg0T)

65

Kid will move you from libertarian to conservative, if you haven't already.

A social conservative is a liberal with a daughter entering junior high.

Posted by: Aaron at September 26, 2008 06:35 PM (NMlyI)

66 that important editorial by Norman Fucking Mailer on how much America sucks every other month.

Dispatches from hell?

Posted by: Richard Romano at September 26, 2008 06:43 PM (kycO9)

67 There have been, who knows, 3 to 6,000 bunnies either photographed in Playboy or living as whores at the mansion.

98% of whom have serious "daddy" issues.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 26, 2008 06:46 PM (FO+YO)

68 This post is so awesome, I almost cried.


Posted by: Stormy70 at September 26, 2008 06:57 PM (Y+o71)

69

I think the Chicago Mansion was sold like 20 years ago, when I was masturbating to just boobies.

To paraphrase a comedian (I forget who) "Yeah, I can watch gay porn, it's disgusting, what I can't watch is lesbian porn, cuz with that much pussy, there really has to be a cock in there somwhere."

and how many "Oh! I'm naked, but you caught me oooops!" hand over mouth, pictures can you take before it becomes boring?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at September 26, 2008 06:59 PM (ul7te)

70

the answer is two.

Just give me the boobs.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at September 26, 2008 07:10 PM (ul7te)

71 "I think the dude that runs Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt  should be on that list as well."

Albert Kinsey. By far.

Without him, Hef doesn't exist. Or matter.

I liked my porn better when it was considered horribly uncivilized to have it out in the open.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 26, 2008 07:16 PM (Ds4I5)

72 "I think the dude that runs Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt  should be on that list as well."

Albert Kinsey. By far.

Without him, Hef doesn't exist. Or matter.

I liked my porn better when it was considered horribly uncivilized to have it out in the open.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at September 26, 2008 07:16 PM (Ds4I5)

 

Add Roger Baldwin to the top of that list.

Posted by: Grimmy at September 26, 2008 07:30 PM (CdaQO)

73 #40: If I were to compile a list of 5 people who were most responsible for destroying the culture, Hefner would be the first one I'd choose.

#45: "I think the dude that runs Girls Gone Wild and Larry Flynt  should be on that list as well."

#46: "And Lyndon Johnson.

#71: Albert Kinsey. By far.

Without him, Hef doesn't exist. Or matter.

Meh. Walter Duranty has them all beaten by a country mile. Hef's a piker.

Posted by: Joshua at September 26, 2008 07:36 PM (/RBG+)

74 If I recall correctly, Playboy started having financial problems several years ago when they lost their gaming license.

Apparently the magazine and the (non AoS) lifestyle were used as branding to pull people into their casinos.  The casinos were the real cash cows.  Once that was gone, the whole empire started to slide.




Posted by: Rich at September 26, 2008 07:44 PM (GLpvN)

75 Oh, man. This is bad. The geezer's had to lay off one of his twenty-ish girlfriends. That only leaves two now.

Posted by: tasteslikechicken at September 26, 2008 07:48 PM (n1K+8)

76 This reminds me of when the last Playboy club was closing, and the headline in the business section read "Business Tails Off At Bunny Club".

Posted by: Jack Bauer's Evil Brother at September 26, 2008 08:18 PM (j326+)

77

Absolutely great post with comment #16 to really bust me up.

Thanks. And I really mean that.

Posted by: spongeworthy at September 26, 2008 08:57 PM (rplL3)

78 Hey! What's all this about Adrienne Barbeau?

She was never in Playboy! It was her role on "Maude" (and subsequent poster) that brought her offers to appear in Playboy, which she refused.

Marrying John Carpenter landed her her part in The Fog, presumably.

I demand a retraction!

Posted by: moviegique at September 26, 2008 09:12 PM (1y5Vr)

79 You forgot Barbie Benton, who starred with Barbeau in the inimitable Deathstalker

Posted by: Fox2! at September 26, 2008 09:35 PM (nTLxP)

80 Yeah, I hate how he wallows in that late 50's "we need to let go of our outmoded sexual mores" type stuff.

Has he noticed that its 2008 and nobody really cares that he's publishing a magazine with boobs?

Or that nobody cares if the guy down the street is gay?  All of these movement type guys look so old when the world just moves along without them.

Posted by: crap at September 26, 2008 11:02 PM (SR9cj)

81 As a kid I used to read Playboy for the articles

Same here, only in my case it was because I was a budding young homo, and titties bored me. But I remember wanking meself daft over the guys in the Calvin underwear ads -- and occasionally there'd even be some male full-frontal nudity (albeit flaccid) in articles about swingers' resorts or the crazy streaking fad that was sweeping college campuses. (My dad's top-sekrit Playboy stash spanned from the mid-'70s to the early '80s -- although I didn't stumble across that box in the basement till I was a high schooler in the late '80s.)

Posted by: Throbert McGee at September 26, 2008 11:03 PM (soVlK)

82 Ace you magnificent bastard. You have rightly and properly flamed the suckers of cock {per AOSHQ manual of style}, as well as the suckees.

Posted by: nunc pro turd at September 26, 2008 11:09 PM (iot9F)

83

My how times have changed. Remember the huge scandal over Jimmuh's interview with Playboy wherein he admitted to having lust in his heart?

First: It was Playboy

Second: Lust?

Of course, who knew he was talking about facsist dictators way back when he said it.

Posted by: jmflynny at September 26, 2008 11:43 PM (8lwjF)

84 I can't believe you left Dorothy Stratton off the list...

Posted by: Steve Skubinna at September 27, 2008 01:48 AM (1ii59)

85

Hello....Martha Smith from "Animal House"

 

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at September 27, 2008 09:00 AM (Tz2XN)

86 jmflynny, That was beautifully done!

Posted by: kidney at September 27, 2008 11:03 AM (/RDxc)

87

I read recently that Playboy's financial problems are forcing it to start distributing gay porn videos.

It will be interesting to see how far it slides downward into slime before it finally dies.

I just hope it dies before Hef does.  I would love for him to stick around long enough to see his empire crumble.

Reading about a foreclosure on the Mansion would be the sweetest thing.

Posted by: Dogstar at September 27, 2008 10:26 PM (PQZBi)

88 There is absolutely nothing wrong or immoral with prostitution.  Women have poontang.  Men have money.  They exchange value-for-value.  It's capitalism.

Posted by: SuprKufr at September 28, 2008 01:32 AM (Xm81b)

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