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| Stay Classy, Kos Diarists: McCain Has Alzheimer's; Will Resign to Deliver Country to Joe Lieberman, and His Zionist Masters in IsraelSuch heart-warming news! High level Republican associates here are talking about the latest ploy on the part of the State of Israel to gain complete control of the United States government. Their idea is to offer the diseased McCain unlimited support from their papers and television stations in return for his putting Joe Lieberman on the ticket as vice president. As McCain is known to be seriously ill and will soon be unable to function, the plan will be for him to retire "for reasons of health" and then Joe Lieberman, loud and persistent Israeli supporter, will step into the Oval Office and America will have her first (unelected) Jewish president.Related: Eric Cantor is a Jew. Comments1
Ever had Challah? Kicks ass, 'specially on a Friday. But so much for my pig farming business....
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at August 25, 2008 08:58 PM (YATc9) 2
Should do wonders for my credit card company contributors, though. Score!!
Posted by: Joe Biden at August 25, 2008 08:59 PM (YATc9) 3
Don't mess with the money men.
Posted by: william shatner, also a jew at August 25, 2008 09:16 PM (evdj2) 4
Wait just one minute. McCain promised me the USA.
Posted by: Felipe de Jesْs Calderَn Hinojosa at August 25, 2008 09:22 PM (6L459) 5
"Unelected"? Gee, and here I thought this had been settled when John Tyler took over after William Henry Harrison died in office. If that precedent of a Veep being sworn in as the next president doesn't ring a bell with these morons, perhaps the 25th Amendment which spells it out clearly will. Then again, I am assuming that they have a brain among the lot of them. Eh, let them go on about the dastardly Jooooooos and stew in their conspiracy theories about a scenario that doesn't even exist for obvious reasons: 1. McCain hasn't chosen Lieberman or anyone else yet for Veep candidate and it's doubtful Joe-mentum will be selected; 2. Bush is still president and my calendar says that Election Day is still a couple of months away.
Posted by: John at August 25, 2008 09:22 PM (nAxsL) 6
The Kos people are giving mental illness a bad name.
Posted by: GarandFan at August 25, 2008 09:23 PM (eJ32B) 7
#3 - It's worse than that. Cap'n Kirk is a Canadian Jooooo!!!
Posted by: John at August 25, 2008 09:23 PM (nAxsL) 8
Oh SNAP! They figured it out!
Posted by: Eric Cantor at August 25, 2008 09:27 PM (iZqUY) 9
I wish McCain would pick Eric Cantor as his running mate. The left would go nuts,
McCain's campaign would call attention to the antisemitism, and the MSM would finally be forced to cover the left's insanity. Posted by: Jack Bauer's Evil Brother at August 25, 2008 09:33 PM (Q/wZd) 10
I just love this stuff. You can't beat it with a stick.
A lot of HuffPoers think that McCain will step aside at the last minute due to "health reasons" so that Jeb Bush can run for the presidency. I like Jeb and all, but the notion that he'll be the GOP nominee is pretty silly. And by silly, I mean batshit crazy. Posted by: stace at August 25, 2008 09:33 PM (JO0c/) 11
Eric Cantor is a Jew? A Jew you say? I'm surprised the DNC didn't let everyone know that the Jewish Eric Cantor is a Jew.
Posted by: lowandslow at August 25, 2008 10:03 PM (3lXty) 12
First?
Eisenhower was a jooo, and so was Truman. That is why the New Deal hasn't made peace in the world, and happiness in the USA. If it were common knowledge it wouldn't be a cabalistic conspiracy, then would it? Posted by: Potosi Joel at August 25, 2008 10:27 PM (TPRbZ) 13
I've seen this whole thing coming for like, twenty years, which is why I made fast friends with all the Jews I met while in the Ivies. Yes, they have a certain smell, and yes, they were constantly trying to cheat me out of my next paycheck (and my newborn babies' blood!), and yes, I always washed my hands with lye soap whenever I left their tacky dorm rooms, but when they finally take over... well... I'm going to be connected.
Seriously though, I like our theory on media bias better. "They feel that way personally, so it comes out in their reporting," makes a whole lot more sense than "They're pulling for the one candidate so the owners of the media conglomerates can get a Jewish PotUS who will, um, not blow up Israel?" Reasoning: Ur doing it wrong. Posted by: mr.frakypants at August 25, 2008 10:30 PM (ZA24H) 14
You know what really irks me?
It's illegal to punch smarmy, loud-mouthed anti-semitic fucktards right in the damned mouth. ILLEGAL, I say again, for effect. Now, I ask you, is this any way to run a conspiracy? Posted by: Merovign at August 25, 2008 11:17 PM (UXoQt) 15
I blame Madonna.
Posted by: Fritz at August 25, 2008 11:58 PM (zAvxs) 16
Say, has anyone reminded Madonna that Mugabe was Jimmy Carter's fault? He actually screwed the democratically elected government to allow Mugabe to take over.
Mugabe is what you get when you are diplomatic. Japan, Iraq, South Korea, and Germany are what you get when you defeat evil. Posted by: ▄█▀ █■█ █ █▄ █▄ at August 26, 2008 01:03 AM (8jYMc) 17
Say, has anyone reminded Madonna that Mugabe was Jimmy Carter's fault?
She's too busy spreading her legs onstage for her "Sticky and Sweet" (eww) tour. Posted by: cheshirecat at August 26, 2008 03:55 AM (zHDr9) 18
Apparently, the Vast Jewish Conspiracy® forgot to brief the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy® on the plan. At the last VRWC meeting, nothing was mentioned about this. Why do they even have a liaison officer if they aren't going to use him?
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Sorry, I was in the john furiously masturbating to memories of the Yentl/The Clinton Chronicles mashup that I snagged from Pirate Bay last week. Awesome shit, man. You should check it out.
Posted by: VJW/VRWC Liaison Officer at August 26, 2008 09:24 AM (PonvG) 20
OK, I'm confused. Are we on an even day when the Jews control everything or an odd day when the Saudis control everything? Someone fire up the deep fat fryer and get Michael Moore on the blower...we need some clarity and some bacon fat. Which is REALLY odd considering who is in charge on any given day. Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 26, 2008 09:29 AM (B+qrE) Posted by: Gekkobear at August 26, 2008 12:54 PM (X0NX1) 22
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Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) News/Chat
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