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Man of Unknown Religion Dies of Unknown Causes

Two clues, though. The man, who was found dead in a hotel room in Denver just as the Democrats are about to stage their convention, named Saleman Abdirahman Dirie, has been positively identified as "Canadian."

He was found dead in his room next to a jar labeled "Cyanide." Police suspect the jar may contain cyanide.

A man with a similar name left the following blog comment, referring to the murder of a Somali Christian by Islamists:

Please don’t talk s**t , that man [the Christian blogger] deserves what happened to him , simply because having the bible in one hand , and a bread in the other hand , is not a correct thing ,! Kill Them , Kill them , Kill them , that is my massage,!

The FBI suspects he may be a Quebecois separatist.

Okay, not really, but given the Rocky Mountain News' failure to identify him as anything except "Canadian," what other motive could he possibly have?

Although the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force was alerted and is helping in the investigation, Wright emphasized that agents do not have information that would lead them to believe that the victim was a "terrorist or has terrorist ties."

Define "information."

Hmmm... Okay, I think I'm wrong to snark about the FBI or even the MSM; there's not any cause to jump to conclusions before the test results are back (though it seems at the very least this guy thought he was making a cyanide gas bomb, given the fact his bottle of deadly chemicals was labeled "cyanide").

But I'm getting pretty sick of law enforcement and the media refusing to mention salient facts -- like that this guy seems to be a jihadist -- for fear that we just can't handle that information without going out on Muslim Passer-By Lynching Patrols.

Posted by: Ace at 01:03 PM



Comments

1 Broken Tag somewhere

Posted by: Robert at August 13, 2008 01:06 PM (V+ylD)

2 The FBI suspects he may be a Quebecois separatist.

Oh sure blame us. That's so racist. It's nothing more than profiling. Maybe he's one of them damn Newfies from Nova Scotia. Did you ever think? No, you just went for the French guys with the funny names and the attitude.

Stupid Americans.

Now go away or I shall taunt you some more!

Posted by: Frenchie The French Canadian at August 13, 2008 01:15 PM (hlYel)

3

for fear that we just can't handle that information without going out on Muslim Passer-By Lynching Patrols.

I'm sorry, is that an option?

Posted by: typical white person at August 13, 2008 01:17 PM (uw1/g)

4 I think he belonged to the Canada chapter of PETA, and was campaigning for Sasquatch rights.

Posted by: Tushar at August 13, 2008 01:18 PM (IlgNp)

5 Yes, this is quite the mystery.

But we're damn sure what Ivins' motives were and what his politics are because he is a Catholic.

Posted by: Bart at August 13, 2008 01:19 PM (8LEAn)

6

I knew it.  Damn Canadians.  I always knew it.  Something about their eyes..

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at August 13, 2008 01:23 PM (nqlWD)

7

OMG!!  You mean our friends from the "Religion of Peace" aren't gentle flower children?  What will I do now? 

Posted by: Na-iif Gierkov at August 13, 2008 01:25 PM (5/BSp)

8 Wait.

He was Canadian?

Well, then it couldn't be Muslim-terrorist related because we all know that Canadians are tolerant and secular. It must have been an accident. Clearly.

Posted by: Bart at August 13, 2008 01:27 PM (8LEAn)

9 me no like this massage. me like massage from swede down street.

Posted by: Anonymous at August 13, 2008 01:32 PM (4yauu)

10 The man, who was found dead in a hotel room in Denver just as the Democrats are about to stage their convention, named Saleman Abdirahman Dirie, has been positively identified as "Canadian."

Could've been worse.  I hear there's a guy who lives up there who's a dick.

Posted by: Sean M. at August 13, 2008 01:33 PM (e6v7s)

11 Well, if he was planning to attend the Dem convention protests maybe he was simply using the cyanide to made acid.

Posted by: runninrebel at August 13, 2008 01:39 PM (0n9wc)

12 How long before The Deciders start claiming this was a setup to distract from The Messiah?

Posted by: eddiebear at August 13, 2008 01:56 PM (wnU1W)

13 I have a massage: Twas the cyonad what kills zis erse

Posted by: Joanie Clouseau at August 13, 2008 01:59 PM (Z9tCp)

14 The "cyanide" thing is a little mysterious. It's pretty easy to identify: it smells like almonds to most people and lab tests to positively identify it should take about 20 minutes. That is, unless a small amount of HCN or cyanide salt were contained within a large amount of other junk, in which case the danger would be greatly reduced.

Posted by: Big S at August 13, 2008 02:18 PM (9N+m3)

15 I agree with Big S. It doesn't take that long to confirm if it's cyanide. So what are they waiting for, Christmas?

Posted by: GarandFan at August 13, 2008 02:29 PM (eJ32B)

16

I agree with Big S. It doesn't take that long to confirm if it's cyanide. So what are they waiting for, Christmas?

Waiting for John Edwards to flash his cooch again so attempted terrorism won't distract the public from Obama's convention.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at August 13, 2008 02:50 PM (HW5Un)

17 The "cyanide" thing is a little mysterious. It's pretty easy to identify: it smells like almonds [...] Mmm... almond-y. To eat, you say? For free, you say? Or you'll decapitate me, you say? How could I refuse?

Posted by: Anonymous at August 13, 2008 03:19 PM (4yauu)

18

Kill Them , Kill them , Kill them , that is my massage

Is that sort of like a deep tissue massage? 

Posted by: Warden at August 13, 2008 03:30 PM (pfpG8)

19 By Allah's holy balls, this must be a lie.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 13, 2008 04:05 PM (OuMcZ)

20 I just love how some flunky government employee decides that "the plebes" can't be trusted with basic information, lest they form a mob (like in 24) and attack the nearest brown person - who just so happens to have the key information needed to stop a world war! We all know the really villain is the cute little blond chick! And the fat computer geek will sacrifice his life to save us all!
It's the exact same mentality that says "don't let the commoner have a gun, he might put his eye out!"
Patronizing, condescending, and elitist. All the more aggravating when it's some mouth breathing moron who couldn't get a job in the private sector telling me that I can't be trusted with hearing the words "muslim," "terrorism," and "[insert weapon name]" in the same sentence.

Posted by: wooga at August 13, 2008 04:19 PM (t9sT5)

21 After Hatfill and Jewell, I wouldn't even believe the FBI if they said this guy was Osama's personal masseur.  Keystone cops, the lot of 'em.

Posted by: wooga at August 13, 2008 04:21 PM (t9sT5)

22 Of course the fact that we've been whacking their Varsity players over in Iraq and Afghanistan has nothing to do with the fact most of our homegrown Jitards turn out to be so hapless, right? Right?

Posted by: David Gillies at August 13, 2008 04:41 PM (2FZO3)

23 I'm not sure why anyone would be surprised that the Rocky Mountain News would be unwilling to report things as they are.  Even though there are two newspapers in Denver, and the Rocky Mountain News is supposed to be the conservative one, they're owned by the same company.  The buyout has definitely colored the News reporting, and they can't really report something in more detail than the Post would, because that would make the Post look bad. 

Posted by: Alice H at August 13, 2008 04:43 PM (jRtPb)

24 Oh, and they are confirming now that it was sodium cyanide.

Posted by: Alice H at August 13, 2008 04:43 PM (jRtPb)

25 Of course, the News is also reporting that the kill massage comment was posted over at LGF.  Freaking idiots.

Posted by: Alice H at August 13, 2008 04:46 PM (jRtPb)

26 Well, this is one massage that had a happy ending.

Posted by: Capt. Obtuse at August 13, 2008 07:11 PM (zAvxs)

27 At least the reported the dumbshit's name this time, so those of us with IQs above room temperature can connect the dots.

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