Global Warming Now Causes... Shark Attacks

It never ends. Global warming is now the all-purpose hook for pretty much any tale of misery.

Some experts suggest that an abundance of seals has attracted high numbers of sharks, while others believe that overfishing has hit their food chain. 'I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's a convenient excuse,' Burgess said. Another contributory factor to the location of shark attacks could be global warming and rising sea temperatures. 'You'll find that some species will begin to appear in places they didn't in the past with some regularity,' he said.

Meanwhile, Switzerland debates "Plant Rights" and "Plant Dignity."

I'm glad we have all the tough problems solved so we can turn our attention to a full bill of rights for flora.

Posted by: Ace at 01:37 PM

Comments

1 I knew Global Warming, Dr. Sharky McScience. Global Warming was a friend of mine. That shit right there? That's no Global Warning.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 04, 2008 01:45 PM (5t1dZ)

2 or Global Warming.

Posted by: runninrebel at May 04, 2008 01:46 PM (5t1dZ)

3 But I thought ocean temperatures were showing a slight decrease.

Maybe the sharks need sweaters.

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at May 04, 2008 01:48 PM (GdPXk)

4 Heh and once again, proof Ace would rather read Hot Air than his own blog

Posted by: HowardDevore at May 04, 2008 01:48 PM (+5FeQ)

5 Global warming is now the all-purpose hook for pretty much any tale of misery.

Promulgating tales of misery is only Step 1.

Step 2 is implementing mechanisms of control, preferably at the level of global government, to cure all this supposed misery.

See, it's not enough to enslave humanity. The real trick is to get humanity to want slavery. To like it. To ask for it. To beg for it. To fear any alternative to it.

Posted by: Phinn at May 04, 2008 02:00 PM (6CKTS)

6 Water temp was 58 degrees when the attack occurred. A bit colder than average temp for this time of year here in San Diego. We had a red tide (algae bloom) that week so visibility was all of 5-10 feet. An early morning swim out at the kelp beds during feeding time in murky cold water while the great whites are migrating back up north = potential for a shark attack. Sad thing to happen to what appears to have been a very fine gentleman.

Posted by: Bill Harris at May 04, 2008 02:00 PM (i/702)

I gonna hold on to this news story. It's not often you see so much AGW stupid collected in one article.

Heh and once again, proof Ace would rather read Hot Air than his own blog ...

or his email, or the warning label on a bottle of Val-u-Rite, etc.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at May 04, 2008 02:01 PM (Tk5HT)

Meanwhile, Switzerland debates "Plant Rights" and "Plant Dignity."

As does this blog, as those who can be bothered to read it are aware:

http://minx.cc/?post=261622

"Tree Worshipers Take Switzerland; Lawnmowers To Be Outlawed as Weapons of Mass Destruction"

Posted by: maxxman at May 04, 2008 02:03 PM (OYeDg)

9 Then again it WAS a Gabe post-probably figured it was going on about the Geneva conventions & the value of international law & the UN

Posted by: HowardDevore at May 04, 2008 02:07 PM (+5FeQ)

Bill Harris,

There you go spoiling a perfectly good lefty talking point by resorting to the last refuge of a scoundrel--logic, facts, and common sense.

Posted by: Old Dad at May 04, 2008 02:11 PM (JQwWt)

11 What a bunch of goofy bastards.

Posted by: Police Officer Doofy at May 04, 2008 02:31 PM (N8eC4)

12 I also read somewhere that penguins are reporting more seal rape due global warming.

Science!

Posted by: Flea at May 04, 2008 02:32 PM (o6uVS)

13 Dirt rights!

Toilet rings have feelings, too, so stop crapping on them!

Since boogers are inhaled dust and dirt, do boogers have rights too?

What about Athletes foot - i.e. fungus? Do fungi have rights? Is there a minimum age for a spore to vote?

Be kind to your green leafy friends,
For a poison ivy may be somebodies mother!

Do gases have rights? Does our atmosphere have a right to be breathed by clean lungs? Farts are people too!

Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at May 04, 2008 02:36 PM (DvoWL)

14 When you believe in nothing ,you'll fall for anything.

Posted by: jjshaka at May 04, 2008 02:48 PM (3G3aF)

15 When you believe in nothing ,you'll fall for anything.

Hold on, now. I'm an atheist but i ain't fooled by this shit.

Posted by: harrison at May 04, 2008 02:58 PM (Gv4O0)

What a brilliant scientific deduction! Except, as has been noted, sea temperatures have been falling the past few years.

What stupid shitheads.

Posted by: The Atom Bomb of Loving Kindness at May 04, 2008 03:27 PM (zyrxg)

17 wait kid there are more seals and sharks, isn't thAt a good thing.
And I'm pretty sure that the water's never REN murky before.

Posted by: mephittis at May 04, 2008 03:30 PM (HVq+E)

18 But that California attack, didn't it happen where the waters are cooling to la Nina and the PDO?

I mean NASA even confirmed the PDO and cooling:
http://wattsupwiththat.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/nasa-pdo-flip-to-cool-phase-confirmed-cooler-times-ahead/

So, bottom line is they are just making it up as they go along -- just like I thought.
DKK

Posted by: LifeTrek at May 04, 2008 03:38 PM (tJTIW)

We're gonna need a bigger thermometer.

Posted by: Chief Brody at May 04, 2008 04:14 PM (X8A/n)

20 I for one welcome our new globally warmed shark overlords!

Posted by: Enas Yorl at May 04, 2008 04:56 PM (mrelM)

21 Hold on, now. I'm an atheist but i ain't fooled by this shit.

Heathen.

Posted by: Global Warm-monger at May 04, 2008 05:35 PM (N8eC4)

22 We're gonna need a bigger thermometer.

I've got a suggestion as to where to stick it in AlGore.......

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 04, 2008 05:42 PM (7iBA9)

23 Saw a rather large boat today being trailered down the hiway. The boats name?

"Global Warmer"

Got to love it.

Posted by: chewydog at May 04, 2008 06:30 PM (5XJQ9)

Why not? Global warming causes every other bad thing in the world:

http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm

Posted by: andycanuck at May 04, 2008 08:03 PM (AS2IX)

25 Global warming causes more Al Gore attacks.

Posted by: Dogstar at May 04, 2008 08:21 PM (FgxdU)

26 And in one of his sentences during the solo 60 minutes with Tim Russert, Obama blames climate change for the rising price of corn.

Posted by: maverick muse at May 04, 2008 11:25 PM (1cbR0)

27 When a theory crosses over to a derangement syndrome you know the acolytes are desperate!

Posted by: shoebox at May 05, 2008 11:31 AM (8Y2iA)

28 Global warming appears to be causing the paint on my house to peel. Sadly, global warming also made me forget where I put the paintbrushes.

DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING! Is there no evil that is beyond you?

Posted by: kevin at May 05, 2008 01:37 PM (OEF4E)

29 The whole GLOBAL WARMING is a fruad and alie its being used by unscruplous persons lead by AL GORE and the radicals from GREENPEACE. SAVE A SPURWING PLOVER BAN GREENPEACE

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