The Friday Night Flame War "He's Dead Jim" Post

You pussies.

You whimpering, teddy-bear rubbing whining simps. Lauraw served it up, and kicked your sniveling asses.

Was it too early? Were you working?

Aww.

She's squeezing out pus tonight that's tougher than you are.

We got an open blog and you're pretending you have a life.

Not me. Not me.

I ain't got shit.

Except that I despise each and every one of you.

Did I say despise? I meant pity.

You're all red shirt morons. The morons get shirts. The morons get red shirts.

And you know what that means..

UPDATE: You homos. Is "Texas" shit all you got. That's envy, bitches, and it's pathetic. I've dedicated a song to you below the "he's dead" fold.

I didn't want to do this. No I didn't.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Sheesh, are you faggots all drunk before 10 central?

Some noteworthy, not really but sorta funny excerpts.

Confidence under John Daniels:

Shes got a really small mouth, so its conceivable your gerbil dick might squeeze in there

She'll look like a bass fish when I'm done with her....

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:02 PM (AmWBy)

Someone who knows what she's talking about:

Dave's idea of a good night is getting drunk on Listerine and dry humping his pillow.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:17 PM (E3XtI)

Just being nasty to make a point:

Dear Smegged-out dry-dicked Iberican ass giblets,

suck it.

Posted by: Joanie at April 18, 2008 10:24 PM (Yyy1m)

I didn't understand it. But it looked cool.


You're worse than dead. Your brain is gone.

LauraW's mother is watching. You know what to do.


Specialness. Because you're all special, in your own special way:

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 09:12 PM



Comments

1 Fat, drunk and Texan is no way to go through life son

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 09:19 PM (/YM8H)

2 You had me at "pussies."

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at April 18, 2008 09:19 PM (zpYSz)

3 God I love free porn

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 09:20 PM (/YM8H)

4 I don't get any of this.
What?

Posted by: Fred at April 18, 2008 09:24 PM (OcUoG)

5 OMG he's fucking dead!

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 09:25 PM (E3XtI)

6 Now I'm bitter.

Posted by: Mortis at April 18, 2008 09:25 PM (AfpKS)

7 Oh for fuck's sake shut your cock holster, pour the piss out of your boots, shit in your stetson and pull it down over your ears.


Posted by: Kowboy at April 18, 2008 09:26 PM (kJiXe)

8 That's not dead. Fuck with me, pussy, and I'll show you what dead is. Fuckers.

Posted by: Hillary! at April 18, 2008 09:27 PM (B1QYg)

9 I shat in your Stetson, and pulled it down over TMFs head.

And he's diggin it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 09:28 PM (eiOZw)

10 Vince Foster ring a bell? Anyone? Anyone?

Posted by: Hillary! at April 18, 2008 09:29 PM (B1QYg)

11 Dave, you have a lot of nerve calling us morons. If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 09:30 PM (E3XtI)

12 Do I now?

And yet, you're here.


moron.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 09:31 PM (eiOZw)

13 I'll bet you've never even used a urinal trough as a slip-and-slide, you bitch.

Posted by: Xaader Crews at April 18, 2008 09:32 PM (A2zj6)

14 Free porn?

Posted by: TRM at April 18, 2008 09:32 PM (wC8Zz)

15 That's right, I always enjoyed a good freak show, and I must say that this is better than the donkey show with your mother. I heard later that the donkey complained it was too loose.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 09:35 PM (E3XtI)

16 Wow. Jokes about Piss and shit. How... quaint. Grow up you bunch of damn donks.

Oh, I almost forgot... Have you heard about Ron Paul?

Posted by: Andy at April 18, 2008 09:38 PM (4Wq+J)

17 I was standing on the shore of the pond out back of my house and I saw this Dick Cheney sized snapping turtle, so I dove on its back and dragged it up onto the land, pulled out my machete and hacked it to bits.
And you pussies think that a queer little flame war is gonna get me riled? Maybethose of you who live in the big cities and wear your cowboy pajamas to bed (and wet them in the night) think that's all macho, but I've had an erection lasting more than four hours and didn't even go to the hospital. My wife did, but I just called a fucking ambulance. I needed a nap.
Homos.

Posted by: pistolero at April 18, 2008 09:40 PM (h9mmN)

18 What the Fuck, Chuck..

I'm in the yard, getting ready to cook a whole wild hog, smoke chicken, and drink an ass of beer. I'll check the blog when the sauce dries, and my head quits hurting...

BigBird

PS: Did I mention the two sacks of crayfish I'm cooking with new potatoes, corn, mushrooms, and Sausage?? Oh well...

Posted by: CSMBigBird at April 18, 2008 09:40 PM (vgkyC)

19 Is anything good on demand?
Fuck it, Im gonna head down to puerto rican north philly andbuy me some spicy latina ass.
Dont tell my wife

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 09:50 PM (/YM8H)

20 I heard later that the donkey complained it was too loose.
It puts the lotion on it's skin..

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 09:51 PM (eiOZw)

21 Dave! ROFLMFAO!!

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 09:52 PM (E3XtI)

22 Dave in Texas,
If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to commit a terrorist act and then befriend a Democrat nominee for POTUS.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at April 18, 2008 09:53 PM (5/uG4)

23 "Dont tell my wife"

She says she don't care. At least I think that's what she's saying; her mouth is sort of full at the moment.

Posted by: notropis at April 18, 2008 09:55 PM (nAD2d)

24 RE: Dave

I hear he's an English professor too.

Posted by: adamthemad at April 18, 2008 09:55 PM (MZBmc)

25 Nom de Blog,
If brains were required at all, Iwouldn't be posting here.





also suck my cock.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 09:56 PM (eiOZw)

26 New Potatoes? What sort of a homo cooks New Fucking Potatoes? In my day we ate dries up OLD potatoes and we LIKED it!
At least you didn't say fingerling potatoes or this whole thread would go to shit. Nothing good can come from fingerling potatoes.
Unless......

Posted by: pistolero at April 18, 2008 09:57 PM (h9mmN)

27 Notropis
Shes got a really small mouth, so its conceivable your gerbildick might squeeze in there

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 09:58 PM (/YM8H)

28 You are all bitter typical white people who cling to their bible and their guns.

Me, I am brown and I don't read the bible.

...
...

and I don't have a gun

Posted by: Tushar D at April 18, 2008 09:58 PM (DWXGz)

29 Don't be waiving your brown fraidiness at us you Tushar you.

(unless you have a gun. then I would fear you, for real and all)

but not now. punk.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:01 PM (eiOZw)

30 Uhm, is this a barry hussien political career thread? I just got home from church, and was cleaning my guns when I hit this link. Before I go bang my sister, of course. Gotta get this shit done early. Big "beat anybody that doesn't like pierogies, Stegmaier Beer and English Rally" tommorrow. Elitists Beware".

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:01 PM (HKaEe)

31 Shes got a really small mouth, so its conceivable your gerbildick might squeeze in there

She'll look like a bass fish when I'm done with her....

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:02 PM (AmWBy)

32 By elitists I mean people who made it past 3rd grade. Not to be mistaken for thr racist Pa dicks barry thinks we are......Carry on,,,,Kill Whitey.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:03 PM (HKaEe)

33 Dave in Texas,
If you think I'm setting foot in that shit hole of a state you claim, well you're crazier than a shit house rat. So there goes your sodomy plan dream. Fucking Texans are always on about teh ghey shit. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Posted by: Nom de Blog at April 18, 2008 10:03 PM (5/uG4)

34 "your gerbil dick might squeeze in there"

Gerbils? No, I think the gerbils are still stuck someplace up your ass; at least that's where Tom said he last saw them.

Posted by: notropis at April 18, 2008 10:04 PM (nAD2d)

35 Hey, im thinking of marketing anti Obama bumperstickers-
"Fuck Change, Fuck Hope, and Fuck YOU"
"Bitter, typical white guy on board"
"Obama Sucks, and so do You"
Anyone got 10k I can borrow?

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 10:04 PM (/YM8H)

36 Dave dave dave...you fuckin make me sick. You're goddamnlucky that the filthy trailerpark you live in,Texas, or more appropriately...Tejas...isn't pussy Mexican soil. You can thank the big dicked New England yanks for that one. Annexation my fuckin ass, what a waste of blood. They can have that shithole back with all of its degenerate assholes thrown into the bargain, and free would be more than a bargain. All we ask is for you to kiss our sweet Yankee asses on the way out. Actually I take that back, we don't need any STDs.
Maybe the gay ass Cowboys willcompete better playing futbol anyway, so it's not a total loss youtaco eating cockpuncher.

Posted by: Dr. Chopper at April 18, 2008 10:05 PM (xvIpv)

37 Dave, I dont know how to quit you

Posted by: Homo Cowboy at April 18, 2008 10:07 PM (/YM8H)

38 Here's a picture of TMF's wife.
(I hope the new comments thingy works. Piece of crap blog.)

Posted by: Nom de Blog at April 18, 2008 10:08 PM (5/uG4)

39 That is definitely NSFW.
Sorry.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at April 18, 2008 10:08 PM (5/uG4)

40 Poor DinT,
His wife got cut from the Spanish Calendar cut she just wasn't hawt enough..

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:08 PM (AmWBy)

41 And when Bones was talking about his brain being gone?...... Dave in Texas not doubt.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:10 PM (AmWBy)

42 Y'all a bunch of pus-drinking urinary-tract-infection-lovingdried out whores and cock biters.
Fuckingicebacks.

Posted by: cranky at April 18, 2008 10:14 PM (tWD2Q)

43
He's dead Jim, full moon...
Spring follows winter, times change...
Hobo haiku sucks

Posted by: John Q. Hobo at April 18, 2008 10:15 PM (rf5CF)

44 Dave's idea of a good night is getting drunk on Listerine and dry humping his pillow.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:17 PM (E3XtI)

45 Hutch, did you mean cleaning the ol pistolero?
Use soap this time. Trust me. I know it will sting at first.
Non de B. Not my fault if you have an outstanding warrant. Man up, and move to Ontario like the rest of the hobo diddlers.
Doctor Chopper, your kid sister wants to update her MyFace crap. Go take a shit or something. Wash your hands, you animal.
HomoCowboy, may I introduce you to XBradTC?

He's a nice boy.

d474, that ain't my pillow.

sorry.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:17 PM (eiOZw)

46 I blame Tim Russert

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 10:17 PM (/YM8H)

47 TMF, put me down for a dozen of each! I'll gi you DiTs' Visa#.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:18 PM (HKaEe)

48 Dave, Texans are nothing but Elitists that can swim. It's true. Look it up. Dennis Hopper told me.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:22 PM (HKaEe)

49 "I wouldnt suck Hillarys Cock with Obamas Vagina"

Posted by: TMF at April 18, 2008 10:23 PM (/YM8H)

50 Dear Smegged-out dry-dicked Iberican ass giblets,

suck it.

Posted by: Joanie at April 18, 2008 10:24 PM (Yyy1m)

51 Check Please! lol

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:24 PM (E3XtI)

52 G-Dammit, im out of beer
Time to hit the port
Yeah- thats right faggots- I said port. As in port wine. Puts fucking hair on your balls

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:25 PM (/YM8H)

53 Daves happiest day will be when he can call himself "Dave FROM Texas". Now he's just dave stuck in texas. Get some wheels on that trailer! Dust bowl mother fucker, down stream from the Okies.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:26 PM (HKaEe)

54 Hey Dave you magnificent bastard,
You finally found a way to get a bunch of knob-slobbering, sphincter-stretchingyankee sumbitches to promisenotto come and invadeour little slice of fucking heaven, bringing their own special form of gayness and effiminate socialism (redundancy alert) with them. I've met more yankees and Californians in Austin then I did when I went to either Disneyland or Disneyworld. They're fucking everywhere these days. It's getting like living in a house with too fucking many knick-knacks. Congratulations and good on ya.

Now do you think maybe you could work the Mexicans over a little? Piss em off? I came into this world speaking English and now know more Spanish than Vincente Fox. AKA: El pinche culero chingasos cabrone puta.
And don't worry much about what they said about your mom and them. I found her rather pleasant. In an Elvira from the Coors Light commercials sorta way.

Posted by: pendejo grande at April 18, 2008 10:26 PM (l/U9W)

55 Mr happy, won't all that ball hair make Lauraw have to floss in the morning?.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:27 PM (HKaEe)

56 Dave might be a little detained. He's picking feathers off of his dick from the pillow.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:28 PM (E3XtI)

57 also suck my cock.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 09:56 PM (eiOZw)
If you have a cock, you need to spit it out. It isn't yours.

Posted by: Kowboy at April 18, 2008 10:28 PM (kJiXe)

58 I suspect Lauraws balls are hairier than those butthumping monkeys from Quest for Fire

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:29 PM (/YM8H)

59 How cute. Dragonlady474 named her mouth, "pillow".

Posted by: pendejo grande at April 18, 2008 10:30 PM (l/U9W)

60 This thread is getting a bit effete for me. Too little bitterness and too much Harvard Law School polish. Is this an online meetup of Gay Hobos for Obama? And I mean gay in a peekaboo chaps kind of way. The kind made of wet-look vinyl.

Posted by: John Q. Hobo at April 18, 2008 10:30 PM (rf5CF)

61 No dear, pillow is your blow up date.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:30 PM (E3XtI)

62 Real funny cockpuncher. I'm only online because even the FBI is too sickened to monitor your incessant downloading of Mexican scat kiddie porn. Call me a patriot. As for my little sister...I don't have one you sick fuck. I bet you wish I did, and I bet you wish she and I didn't wash our hands afterusing the john. That would be right up your fuckin alley, Dave. Or should I call you Mexi_scat_69?

Posted by: Dr. Chopper at April 18, 2008 10:31 PM (xvIpv)

63 #54 How's the Disney wife hunt going? Up North we got Jersey for dumpin' shit. Rebels dump shit in Texas. ...God is making a planet enema bag, and the nozzle is shaped like texas.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:31 PM (HKaEe)

64 Pendejo Grande....am I mistaken, or is your name large asshole? lolol

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:33 PM (E3XtI)

65 Dave in Texas,
I just want you to know that I sincerely hope you don't die in a fire.


I'm kinda hoping you drown in a pool.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:33 PM (AmWBy)

66 I'll dump gas in the pool, and set it on fire. Just in case.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:34 PM (HKaEe)

67 Dr Chopper, too bad aboutno sister.
I'd ask her to do another cartwheel for Uncle Davey.
XBrad, do you have a kid sister?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:35 PM (eiOZw)

68 Noooo, Dave's not going to die like that! He's going to die next to a bag on Nachos. One hand on his dick and the other hand on the mouse, getting ready to click into existence, the best post ever. Sadly he will die before he can click.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:35 PM (E3XtI)

69 Hey, did you check out the formidable love truncheon on Steve Perry?
I didnt....much

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:37 PM (/YM8H)

70 Daves death: a pile of nacho and dick cheese.

Posted by: hutch1200 at April 18, 2008 10:37 PM (HKaEe)

71 *click*


not yet. sorry about your pillow.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:37 PM (eiOZw)

72 To think that guy got more pussy than a paris whorehouse bidet

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:38 PM (/YM8H)

73 Help! Help! I've been spermed and feathered!

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:38 PM (E3XtI)

74 oh, no, no sperma dearie.

I retired the twins a few years ago. That's just gook.

Whenever I see Steve Perry sing I think of DrewM.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:40 PM (eiOZw)

75 Bah, I'm just teasing. Us girls know you guys sneak and whack it into your tube socks.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:40 PM (E3XtI)

76 LOL CNN reporter gets busted with crystal meth in central park
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080418/ap_on_en_tv/cnn_reporter_charged

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:40 PM (/YM8H)

77 We got an open blog and you're pretending you have a life.
That's right you chlamydia-laden armadillo sodomizer. So this is for you and John Q...

Posted by: Nigel at April 18, 2008 10:40 PM (4gHqM)

78 Dave,
No kid sisters. My folks quit after they finally got it right. Got two older ones you are more than welcome to. They are just like me, fat, stupid, lazy, and hairy as a Bigfoot on Propecia.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:41 PM (AmWBy)

79 fat, stupid, lazy, and hairy as a Bigfoot on Propecia.
so they favor mom?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:42 PM (eiOZw)

80 Neal Schon sends a tingle up my leg, kinda like Obama does with Chris Matthews
Only metal guys can look that gay and not actually be cockeaters
That shirt- oh my fuck

Posted by: Mr. Happy at April 18, 2008 10:42 PM (/YM8H)

81 so they favor mom?

Actually, they favor Ace.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:45 PM (AmWBy)

82 What is this Texas of which you speak? Nachos, beer bongs, small mouth bass and large mouth inflatable dolls... This will be pleasing to the lifestyle of the Hobo of Gaul. And please you will not call my potatoes les frites de la liberté.

Posted by: Jean-Paul Hobo at April 18, 2008 10:47 PM (rf5CF)

83 Here's a late Xmas present for Dave since he's such a big {{{Journey}}} fan.

This one's gonna hurt...trust me guys.


Posted by: Nice Deb at April 18, 2008 10:49 PM (7phKJ)

84 You call youself nice.

But you're a dirty, dirty whore.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:52 PM (eiOZw)

85 Actually, Dave, the sockpuppet I saw ND use was "Sexy, Flirty Whore".

That alone made me cream.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 18, 2008 10:53 PM (AmWBy)

86 It's dark and smelly in here, but there's room for one more.

Oh look, a dead gerbil.

Posted by: Joanie's fist in Texas at April 18, 2008 10:55 PM (Yyy1m)

87

But you're a dirty, dirty whore.
At least I don't have a dead gerbil in my ass. LOL!

Posted by: Nice Deb at April 18, 2008 10:59 PM (7phKJ)

88 So, it's still got a pulse then?

Thank goodness. Hate it when they die in all that pervy shit.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:01 PM (eiOZw)

89 You're all democrats!

Or is that too much?

Posted by: Elliott at April 18, 2008 11:08 PM (5Kt8c)

90 Anybody happen to have a shoehorn handy?

Posted by: Joanie's fist in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:10 PM (Yyy1m)

91 64 Pendejo Grande....am I mistaken, or is your name large asshole? lolol
Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 18, 2008 10:33 PM (E3XtI)
As usual, you're mistaken. It means large dumbass. But it would be Mr. Large Dumbass Sir to you. Now go make me some ribs or something.

Posted by: pendejo grande at April 18, 2008 11:15 PM (l/U9W)

92 All these comments and no mention that Joanie's breath smells like the shithouse door on a tuna boat? Weird...

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 18, 2008 11:30 PM (bJbGU)

93 Boy, ever since the lefties coopted our media bias message, we apparently got nuthin left. And how do I turn off this fuckin spell check? It's enough to drive a moron to drink.

Posted by: km at April 18, 2008 11:33 PM (aA8Pw)

94 Oh look, DIT is wearing his leather again.

Posted by: Nice Deb at April 18, 2008 11:34 PM (7phKJ)

95 The trick is to start drinking at least an hour before posting. Then you stop caring.

Posted by: Elliott at April 18, 2008 11:35 PM (5Kt8c)

96 No, Dave, the Texas shit ain't all we got. We're just handicapping ourselves because we figger it's all you understand...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at April 18, 2008 11:37 PM (e+exz)

97 Boob, that is her breath?

Faaaack.


Nice Deb. I know you want to try not to be nice sometimes. I do.

Trust me sister. You don't have it in you. Rosetta couldn't make you mean, and lord knows he's tried.

Now make me a sammich.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:39 PM (eiOZw)

98 Boob, I'll let Joanie know to wash me first before sucking her thumb again, just as soon as I get out of this dungeon of death.

Posted by: Joanie's fist in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:39 PM (Yyy1m)

99 I mean she's tried.

shit.

whatever.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:42 PM (eiOZw)

100 Now make me a sammich.

*Sigh*

Fine.....Here ya go.

Posted by: Nice Deb at April 18, 2008 11:46 PM (7phKJ)

101 Dave, It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Posted by: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman at April 18, 2008 11:51 PM (xDwoq)

102 Deb, Deb, Deb,

why do you let them corrupt you so?

You have lunches to make for school next week. You can't put mayo on that and put it in a ziploc.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 18, 2008 11:51 PM (eiOZw)

103 Of course the reason Joanie's breath smells like that is from eatin Dave's pussy, so maybe she can borrow his listerine.

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 18, 2008 11:55 PM (bJbGU)

104 His backwash alone would kill me, never mind the man-pubes stuck to the top of the bottle.

Posted by: Joanie at April 19, 2008 12:06 AM (Yyy1m)

105 Dave in Texas deserves to blog here like Elton John eats pussy.

Posted by: mr. frakypants at April 19, 2008 12:13 AM (bZAfL)

106 Lmfao Joanie! Im sure that mental picture will be with me all weekend

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 19, 2008 12:14 AM (bJbGU)

107 how you people excuse your nasty, I'll never understand.
your mommas would slap you so

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 19, 2008 12:14 AM (eiOZw)

108 Dave, if only your momma had slapped yo daddy when he tried to get some that night oh so long ago.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 19, 2008 12:21 AM (AmWBy)

109 If we're going to do another flame war, we should at least theme it up a little. So next time, on behalf of us vote-middlin', two-string-fiddlin', piss-piddlin' sister-diddlin' cornpone motherfuckers in Pennsylvania, Indiana and North Carolina, we should have a poetry slam! of four rhyming couplets.
Kind of like haiku, but not gay. Okay, okay, not as gay.
Besides, we're so full of bitterness, a flame war should be right up our alley. You people think you've got hatreds. We lost our jobs at the factory and beat minorites to death with Bibles. We would have shot them with the guns we like so much, but we couldn't afford bullets.
So don't fuck with us, you shitfucking cuntbags.

Posted by: marchand chronicles at April 19, 2008 12:21 AM (e3YS3)

110 My momma slapped the decency out of me a long time ago, crushing my dreams of being a Wal*Mart greeter. Wretched woman she was.

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 19, 2008 12:25 AM (bJbGU)

111 Some moms want to protect you from pain in life.

Others are blowing rodeo clowns in the parking lot for two shots of Jack.

YMMV.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 19, 2008 12:29 AM (eiOZw)

112 Dave just told us him mom beclowned herself.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 19, 2008 12:32 AM (AmWBy)

113 As a pup I used to watch my mom lick peanut butter of Rodeo Clowns' shlongs for a tennis ball, so I totally know what you're talking about.

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 19, 2008 12:46 AM (bJbGU)

114 *off... damn human keyboards

Posted by: Boob The Dog at April 19, 2008 12:48 AM (bJbGU)

115 pendejo grande - greetings from the north shore of Lake Travis.

Andto all the Texas bashers - you're a bunch of whiney littleyankee bitches who are just jealousbecause your up to your balls in liberal pussies and the best you can hope for is not freezing to death long enough to retire to Florida, home of the newly wed and the nearly dead. Provided your mom turns enough tricks for you to afford Florida. Odds are the best you can hope for is New Jersey.

Oh, and suck my balls.

Posted by: mpur at April 19, 2008 12:53 AM (PHA9j)

116 Ok, so despite Dave in Texas's claims of some sort of farcical LauraW victory in her pathetic Thursday flame war (I know... just now it's sinking through her cro-magnon unibrow that it wasn't Friday when she opened that particular can of wet flatulence), I think we all know where the chips fell that day.

And no, before you cretins start pawing at your couch cushions, I'm not talking about Fritos -- you know you keep those crumbs in your bellybuttons with 3 weeks of lint and your lucky penny.

I laid down some true masterpieces of insult that were wasted in the company of yo' momma jokes kind of like a bottle of 1998 Petrus Pomerol is wasted on a hobo.

Sure he knows the wine is what he was looking for by the slow burn; and somehow he senses there is more to the wine than he comprehends; but instead of taking a moment to bask in it, he chugs right thru to the bottom, belches, scratches his ass, sniffs his finger and reaches for another bottle of rotgut.

Did I say kind of like... replace "hobo" with "XBradTC" and "wine" with "joke" and the description is dead-on.

Seriously, watching some of you try to craft a proper insult is like watching a monkey fuck a football.

So who do we have here tonight... it's like a who's who of hand-lovin' hobgoblins.

DiT, the only original thing that's come out of your mouth was Tushar's cock. And I say original only because after that teen-age accident with the family chicken and a tube of those rat-squeezings they call toothpaste in the third-world shithole he calls home, he had to have a new pecker made for him. Unfortunately, the witch-doctor, like most the males in his village, idolized the rank phallus of goat, thus Tuhar's hometown nickname of "Hank-goat". Hank. God your relatives are retarded. Must be a brown thing.

Nice Deb - jeebus on a frick'n crutch... I remember you from way back when you were new to this site. I swear, I tear up a bit when I think about our first few exchanges. You were so soft. So... Nice. Now look at you, it's like you've come out of your tender, shy little shell and grown up to be Fran Drescher, only not as sophisticated, and with an extra titty. Seriously, get that looked at -- I don't think that's milk, and I doubt you should be mixing it with your coffee.

Who the hell is this dragonlady474 chick, and how lame do you have to be to think "oh, I'll choose 'dragonlady' for a Myspace handle. It's SOOOOO cool." Then find out their were 473 dumbasses with the exact same idea that were faster than you. Sweetie - when you run into better than 400 people who think they've had the exact same "unique" idea, you are either in a retirement home right before a run on depends, or, well, at Ace of Spades HQ.

Who else we got here... Joanie? Joanie... the worst thing I can say about you right now is, I've got nothing to say. You are about at remarkable as a wet turd in a kitty-litter box. Which reminds me -- please, use the bathroom -- the cats are getting a little disgusted.

Chew on that for a while, mouth-breathers, and give me your best shot. You all obviously need some practice.

Don Rickles wept.

Posted by: krakatoa at April 19, 2008 01:02 AM (X/Pw5)

117 If DinT could get Joannies dick out of his ass maybe he could tell us what the fuck was up drunk posters breaking the blog.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 19, 2008 01:07 AM (AmWBy)

118 i walk into a bar with a toad on my head right? as you do.
the asshole bartender says to me, he says, 'warren! how did that get there'?
the fuckin toad says, andi shit you not, he says'it started out as a wart on my ass'.
fuck! i am gonna sue that toad's ass!


Posted by: warren f. kinsella toad at April 19, 2008 01:43 AM (/mvfz)

119 and the next person that says i got my first name from my habit of shoving rabbits up my ass is SO sued!

Posted by: rabbit warren kinsella at April 19, 2008 01:48 AM (/mvfz)

120 The only things in Texas are steers and queers, and DinT thinks that's just fine.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 19, 2008 02:11 AM (AmWBy)

121 I can't step.

I do b'lieve krakatoa won that one.

Posted by: Avoid sudden halts at April 19, 2008 02:26 AM (+7oCm)

122 Fuck me Roman.
What a bunch of soft cock toilet seat sniffers.

Posted by: lotocoti at April 19, 2008 04:52 AM (AeBIX)

123 Krakatoa for me. Made my face hurt so much.

Posted by: back row guy at April 19, 2008 05:08 AM (8ntiZ)

124
Yes, Krakatoa obviously won, otherwise she'd be accusing someone of being thin skinned.



catamite: an attractive Trojan boy who
was abducted to Olympus to become the cupbearer of Zeus and later his homosexual lover.

obamite: unattractive person of uncertain sex willing to cup and hold the balls of the Obamessiah who was later the homosexual lover of Super Delegate Richardson.

moronite: the only naturally occurring mineral denser than lead discovered in Texas at April 19, 2008 12:29 AM and named for the discoverers left hand.

Posted by: Rogue Sockpuppet at April 19, 2008 06:45 AM (OO/TK)

125 Bigbird: You claim to eat crawfish, then have the audacity to spell it with a Y??? Down here on the bayou we kill folks for lesser offenses than that. And then we pray that your own personal Hell consists of spending eternity locked in a room listening to Helen Reddy's greatest hits whilst watching a video of Kathy Bates tossing Ted Kennedy's salad while Sandra Bernhard stands off to one side touching herself itself... over and over and over forever, amen.

Posted by: Dave F at April 19, 2008 07:30 AM (ffDqB)

126 If DinT could get Joannies dick out of his ass...

Better men have tried.

Posted by: geoff at April 19, 2008 07:46 AM (VoohB)

127 krakatoa, are you a lawyer?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 19, 2008 08:03 AM (pzen5)

128 Krakatoa, 474 was the body count.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at April 19, 2008 08:52 AM (E3XtI)

129 jealous?

Posted by: Joanie's Dickgina at April 19, 2008 09:23 AM (Yyy1m)

130 Nice Deb won.

Posted by: Sexy Flirty Whore at April 19, 2008 10:28 AM (Ryo39)

131 I would like to apologize for referring to Ace as a deserter. What I meant to say is that Ace is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants.

The motivation for this flame war is simple. The U.S. government started the flame war with readers in order to make it easy for U.S. corporations to do business in other countries. They intend to use cheap labor in those countries, which will make Americans rich.

Posted by: dustydog at April 19, 2008 10:43 AM (aqV/Y)

132 Damn. Just, damn. That was low, Dave.

Well played. You win.

Posted by: krakatoa at April 19, 2008 10:46 AM (X/Pw5)

133 *looks at Krakatoa -- backs off in awe*

Damn. Somebody finally redeemed this thread.

Posted by: Michael at April 19, 2008 09:16 PM (GBak4)






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