Ace makes the big TIME [krakatoa]

Bugler, Faye Kinnitt & TheEJS are ignoring their hobo-hunting duties to read TIME online.

Apparently, and only until the KOS Kids wake up to the insistent tones of another Urgent Action Alert, AoS is Number One with a hammer in the TIME.com First Annual Blog Index.

Vote your conscience, if you can focus your Val-u-Rite bleared eyes on the screen and pull your mouse away from the porn links you all click on with the feverish and suicidal intensity of lab rats fitted with electrodes tickling the pleasure sensors in their brains.

UPDATE: Here's the link to the AoS voter/description. The first link just shows a tally. Move the slide at the top of the page and click 'submit' to vote. Whatever you do, don't read the fine print about first born children and the fealty pledge to Cthulu.

Posted by: Open Blog at 01:21 AM

Comments

1 Congratulations, Ace!

Posted by: NG at April 07, 2008 01:25 AM (ym/Kq)

2 Wait, I don't see the actual voting thing.

This could get ugly, though I wonder if ANYONE is going to give St. Andy a high score.

Posted by: someone at April 07, 2008 01:27 AM (2z2WN)

3 Another sign that the end times are upon us?

Posted by: gebrauchshund at April 07, 2008 01:28 AM (pY77a)

^{TheEJS are ignoring their hobo-hunting duties to read TIME online}

That is a bold-faced lie, dear sir! If I was any other man, I'd kill you where you sit!

Being as it's me, I'll just take stringent, decisive action - report you to the UN and ask for a global condemnation that means absolutely nothing.

Posted by: TheEJS at April 07, 2008 01:32 AM (nWQmo)

5 I just voted for Ace with pride. Drunken, anonymous pride, sure, but you know what I mean.

Also of interest is the related worst blog list, topped off by some rambling, narcotized disaster calling herself The Reverse Cowgirl, whose sample post reads:

I was wondering if I was, in fact, to some degree sane, or at least saner, these days, seeing as, you know, I no longer wanted to die every minute of every day, and so, what the hey, maybe it was time to write a sane definitive essay on my experiences in Porn Valley. Seeing as I don't have much to say about anything else in the universe, except porn.

I don't know about you guys, but I can't help but think there's maybe something we can do to get these two kids together.

Posted by: Blacksheep at April 07, 2008 01:33 AM (DqCZE)

6 I voted for Kodos.

Posted by: Z Ryan at April 07, 2008 01:41 AM (PDeVA)

7 TheEJS, I most humbly apologize -- you are a gentleman and a scholar, and a first-rate hobo-hunter. I'd blame my generalization on the liquor, but that's just a poor and by now cliched excuse.

So I'm going to go with blaming it on Lou Grant. Trust me, it's all his fault.

Those other two TIME readers are definitely trouble though, and should be watched carefully.

Posted by: krakatoa at April 07, 2008 01:50 AM (7IHWE)

8 First CPAC, now this. Maybe someday he'll get a place on Instapundit's blogroll.

He could take this guy's spot.

Posted by: bgates at April 07, 2008 01:58 AM (RzFhF)

9 Ok, voted for Ace with a 10 and gave Kos and Excitable Andy a 1 each. Vote or die.

Posted by: XBradTC at April 07, 2008 02:13 AM (mih4H)

Oh man, that Reverse Cowgirl blog is .... hell, I'm not sure how to react to it. The intellectual in me is repulsed and wants some paragraph breaks, but the AoS lifestyle part of me wants to BUNK. Serious cognitive dissonance.

I supppse I'll have to go vote early and often for Ace however, doing my small part to keep the moronosphere in contention. However, I'm also giving excitable Andi a 10, because if he were to disappear that would kill about half of Ace's material.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at April 07, 2008 02:21 AM (Tk5HT)

11 Did the same. Hey, how come Sadly, No! isn't on the list? I'd love to give them several 1s.

Enjoy it while you can, as Krakatoa said, the Kossacks, DUers, and other assorted goofy lefties apparently haven't gotten wind of this yet. Look for a huge surge of negative Ace votes (and positive KOS votes) after about 1PM EST Monday, when the lefties get around to waking up.

Posted by: Dr. Remulak at April 07, 2008 02:26 AM (COtYO)

12 Meh. The voting slide thingy doesn't go to 11, and there should be a cowbell when you vote.

Oh well, what do I expect from some two-bit outfit like Time?

Posted by: DPR VIII at April 07, 2008 02:31 AM (4XUD3)

Hey, Ace. Congrats. I can't figure out the voting, but you're way ahead so I'll leave it to the dweebs.

I knew you when, baby.

Posted by: Cal at April 07, 2008 02:57 AM (c9qXV)

14 I would just like to warn anyone using this poll that, after you vote, if you refresh the page, it will allow you to vote again. Now, it would be completely immoral and wrong to vote more than once, so I felt that I should let you all know so that you don't do it by mistake. I am sure that if you DID vote more than once, it would bother your conscience beyond belief.

David

Posted by: David at April 07, 2008 02:58 AM (AoSNx)

15 ....and exactly what is wrong with a fealty pledge?

Posted by: cthulhu at April 07, 2008 03:20 AM (hUWiw)

16 Personally, I'm not too keen about how they cherry picked a quote in order to bash President Bush. Bet you they won't do anything similar to the leftard blogs.

Posted by: Guy Ritchie's Career at April 07, 2008 05:12 AM (Cbmba)

17 Where's Ron Paul?

Posted by: Tinian at April 07, 2008 06:09 AM (1Mq7K)

OK- I slided the thingie and clicked the whatzit. Now email me that special hobo stew recipe I've heard about.

Yeah I also noticed how Time cherry picked a quite they hope their lefty readership interprets as racist. As though Ace were a typical white person or something.

And you should blogroll me cuz I'm read by over one Americans daily.

Posted by: along came Jones at April 07, 2008 06:19 AM (KOkrW)

19 AoS is a conservative/libertarian version of DailyKos? WTF? We are the mirror image of DKos.

AoS v/s DKos:
Intelligent posters V/S stupid ignorant blatherers.
Witty, fun loving commenters V/S spittle-flecked impotently enraged commenters.
Clear love for country V/S clear hatred of the country.
Wishes better sense on the other side V/S wishes death on the other side.

I could go on. But I have a job.V/S the other side are mostly useless vegetables mooching on mom.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 07, 2008 06:38 AM (DWXGz)

I've been pestering people over the weekend on this, but someone really needs to go and edit the AoSHQ entry on Wikipedia (I'm too lazy to sign up or do whatever it is to be an editor). Not a single mention of the word "moron," nothing about the Paul Anka Integrity Kick, and no CPAC Blogger of the Year stuff. And Spurwing...he must be included.

Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ace_of_Spades_HQ

And what the hell is with that Tony Blankly quote at the beginning. "Very smart military blog?" We just like to see shit blow up.

Posted by: genghis at April 07, 2008 07:04 AM (HwY1l)

21 Supercalifagilisticongrats, Ace!

Now I'll NEVER be able to afford to advertise around here again! Good on ya!

I do wonder how they chose that post as their sample one....

Posted by: Doug Winship at April 07, 2008 07:08 AM (hcQ3t)

Oh, and of course it says at the top "This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards."

No, Wikipedia, you must reduce your standards to be in line with ours.

Posted by: genghis at April 07, 2008 07:09 AM (HwY1l)

23 Congratulations, Ace - top o' the list!

Posted by: no one you know at April 07, 2008 07:18 AM (b0sdZ)

24 You sit on a throne of lies!

Posted by: Elf at April 07, 2008 07:31 AM (PLvLS)

AoS is a conservative/libertarian version of DailyKos? WTF? We are the mirror image of DKos.

I saw that too. Of course TIME pulls a criticism of Bush snipet to show that he really isn't such a bad guy after all.

Ace, that's MSM speak for "We kinda like ya."

Posted by: Rob Roy at April 07, 2008 07:35 AM (YsJL/)

24 You sit on a throne of lies!

Actually, he sits on a throne of skulls. Hobo skulls.

Posted by: genghis at April 07, 2008 07:38 AM (HwY1l)

27 I don't know what's worse; the gratuitous slam at us, or the fact that we morons are the only sane ones on that list.

Posted by: steveegg at April 07, 2008 07:48 AM (LvEFt)

Grrr, why the fuck can't I post in this thread?

Posted by: marchand chronicles at April 07, 2008 07:54 AM (e3YS3)

I think I know why.

I'm using a banned word in each comment.

I can't help it. Look at the screenshot and you can see it clearly: "n*ggers."

So Ace is a token right-wing selection some lefty had as a throw-in. We'll take it. Ace & The Moronosphere vs. Kos, Sullivan and HuffPo. Fair fight. We have Full Retard Strength.

Posted by: marchand chronicles at April 07, 2008 08:01 AM (e3YS3)

30 I'm voting multiple times. I consider it my unalienable right for being brown.

Try to stop me, RAAAACISTSSSS!!

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at April 07, 2008 08:01 AM (x/T6a)

31 I think Ace recently celebrated his 20 millionth hit no?

Posted by: pajama momma at April 07, 2008 08:17 AM (f3xJa)

32 Ya got my "10," dude...

Posted by: Douger at April 07, 2008 08:21 AM (W85a9)

33 I am SPARTACUS, I mean, a MORON!

Posted by: Harry Callahan at April 07, 2008 08:40 AM (Xroyb)

34 Hey Krak -- that Hobo Pie recipe ain't gonna work itself out, yanno!

I'm calling 'em Turner Tartlets...

Posted by: Faye Kinnitt at April 07, 2008 09:00 AM (l1oyw)

This was so cool I had to drop $50 in Ace's tipjar. (And it's real money this time, not crumpled up voided LiquorLand gift vouchers.)

All I can say is that it's a good thing that the folks at TIME don't know about Ace's little "hobbies". Still, they are a fairly liberal rag: maybe they don't see anything wrong with murdering hobos while in a vodka-induced blackout. Let those who have never visited with transsexual Thai hookers cast the first stone, I say.

Seriously, though, Ace: good jerb.

Posted by: Monty at April 07, 2008 09:04 AM (BuiC1)

ACE IS TEH NEW PRESIDENT OF THE INTARWEBS! /clickypaulbot

Congrats, I voted a dozen times.

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at April 07, 2008 09:11 AM (uOvAE)

37 35

This was so cool I had to drop $50 in Ace's tipjar. (And it's real money this time, not crumpled up voided LiquorLand gift vouchers.)

Suckup. Ace doesn't want your money, he wants your respect, love and devotion, fealty, and your firstborn.

And possibly your soul, but that's just speculation on my part.

Posted by: genghis at April 07, 2008 09:21 AM (HwY1l)

38 Gave Ace a buncha 10's and Sully, Huffpo, and the KosKids a shitload of 1's.

Congrats Ace. You deserve it. Now get out there and bag some hobos!

Posted by: Kowboy at April 07, 2008 09:22 AM (kJiXe)

Monty, you are back!

I remember that Ace once offered you blogging rights on AoS and you spurned him.

Now he has pulled the bar waay lower. He allows a lot of morons to post whenever he is having an "Open Blog", Ace's euphemism for, "I am too drunk to stumble in the general direction of the keyboard. Can someone hack up a half-retarded scribble please?" Ofcourse, he maintains some standards. I cannot post yet.

Maybe you should give it a second thought. You will fit right in!

Posted by: Tushar D at April 07, 2008 09:27 AM (IlgNp)

40 ...last summer, the blog called President Bush "incompetent" and "embarrassingly dimwitted" and urged him to retire.

They attribute that to "the AoS blog," not Ace. I remember the thread where a few of us vented on Bush, I can't remember the exact thread, though.

polynikes undertook the task of defending Bush, heh, so maybe he remembers. I'd really like to find out who is responsible for the quoted Bush-bashing. It's probably one of us, but it's possible that one of the trolls joined in on our bashing and got quoted.

Posted by: Bart at April 07, 2008 09:31 AM (7hkcp)

41 "Another sign that the end times are upon us", yea, that and the pregnant man.

Posted by: Bid Swede at April 07, 2008 09:32 AM (xEn0I)

GO BUSH!

Posted by: polynikes at April 07, 2008 09:40 AM (m2CN7)

43 Also, those comments slamming Bush were spurred by his amnesty policy for illegal aliens.

Posted by: Bart at April 07, 2008 09:41 AM (7hkcp)

I found this. Didn't clink the ace link in the article but I thought it was interesting that this was not the first time it was reported.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/06/15/bloggers.bush/index.html

Posted by: polynikes at April 07, 2008 09:43 AM (m2CN7)

45 Yeah, I thought so.

I'll check the June archives to try to find the post/comments.

Posted by: Bart at April 07, 2008 09:47 AM (7hkcp)

#19

Hobo hunting valu rite drinking morons with real jobs VS. Mid aged LGBT government employee's on acid wearing a 60's tie dyed t shirt.

Think Heston Vs. "Tom"

Posted by: kempermanx at April 07, 2008 09:53 AM (ANRVq)

47 Nice work as usual, TIME. How many times do you want me to install Flash 9 before your POS site recognizes it every time instead of occasionally? Maybe get rid of a few unused layers of fact-inventers checkers and get someone who actually understands website design?

Posted by: sherlock at April 07, 2008 09:56 AM (ojW85)

48 Congrats, hon! I have been telling you that Morons are sexy for quite some time. You should be drowning in Ass soon.

Seriously, great stuff!

Posted by: jen at April 07, 2008 09:58 AM (WhgGR)

49 #40: The post was 31 May 2007, and it was from Ace: http://ace.mu.nu/archives/228502.php

"What President* Bush (yep, the liberal asterisk; why not go whole hog?) fails to comprehend is that he has been so incompetent, embarrassingly dimwitted, and fiscally reckless for six years that the few supporters he had had to spend an awful lot of time, energy, and intellectual (and sometimes emotional) effort to support him."

Posted by: V the K at April 07, 2008 10:14 AM (PLvLS)

50 Funny that that particular post got mentioned. It gave me my all-time highest-hits post until this past weekend, when it was passed by my post on Preparation H. [like most bloggers, it's the throwaway posts that always get the hits.] Ironic that it resurfaces now.

Anyway, congrats, Ace - that's pretty impressive.

Posted by: geoff at April 07, 2008 10:35 AM (Cj8bh)

51 So, voting "1" is best, right?

Posted by: mesablue at April 07, 2008 10:47 AM (5yNaE)

Just like the drive-by media. Arrogant, ignorant, tendentious, mendacious, er, I'm running out of adjectives.

That snippet, well, heh.Typical drive-by quoting.

Ace, I gave you a 10.

Posted by: Hank Rearden at April 07, 2008 10:51 AM (eXk2G)

53 Fantastic!

Up till now, Ace's main PR strategy has been to make appearances in a surprisingly large number of anonymous entries in the police blotter.

TIME Magazine is a much better approach. It's a little "corporate" and "mainstream" compared to the police blotter, but still good.

Posted by: Phinn at April 07, 2008 10:53 AM (NLtoU)

54 The avg. rating just went from 9 to 10. Good work, moronosphere.

Posted by: stace at April 07, 2008 10:59 AM (4x6iT)

55 Good find, VtheK.

That was a good thread. I need a valium.

P.S. Every few months, I encourage everyone to visit this blog. If that blog doesn't make you forget your troubles and put a smile on your face...

Posted by: Bart at April 07, 2008 11:01 AM (7hkcp)

56 How do you remain anonymous while not being anonymous?

Congrats! AoS

Posted by: Sue at April 07, 2008 11:06 AM (Jol77)

57 Somebody really should wake the fellow up and tell him that he won something that doesn't require an ointment prescription.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at April 07, 2008 11:12 AM (FCGJ9)

58 Thanks, Krakatoa, for posting this, and thanks to all of you guys for voting.

I feel kind of weird about it, to tell you the truth. I'm the only rightwing political blog even on there, which is odd. In fairness they only have a few political blogs. But it's just strange and not really right that this site is on there and others aren't.

Posted by: ace at April 07, 2008 11:27 AM (SXBHu)

Thanks for the blog tip bart. Perfect for every big city citizen.

Posted by: polynikes at April 07, 2008 11:30 AM (m2CN7)

60 I voted...now I'm gonna fall back into the bottle of Val-u-Rite and shave my junk so it's pron star smooth...

Posted by: Eeyore's Swinging Sack at April 07, 2008 11:35 AM (I6QiV)

61 But it's just strange and not really right

Sounds like a new tagline.

Posted by: mesablue at April 07, 2008 11:37 AM (5yNaE)

62 Besides, if my blogstats are any indication, the only reason it's up there is for lauraw's cat posts.

Posted by: mesablue at April 07, 2008 11:39 AM (5yNaE)

63 Ok Ace, ya got a 10. Now I want that check in the mail TODAY!

Posted by: GarandFan at April 07, 2008 11:39 AM (N4c1G)

Scary to think about where a link from Bart might take you. This one was a winner.

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at April 07, 2008 11:45 AM (1rNdj)

From Time's description of Huffpo:

Sample Huffington Post: The fact remains: the surge is not working. Indeed, it is an abject failure on many fronts...Just as the Athenian army was lost in the quarries of Sicily, the American army is being lost in the deserts of Iraq.

And this is what Time considers the blog against which all others are measured. Well, I guess ever ruler needs a starting point.

Posted by: wiserbud at April 07, 2008 11:52 AM (IHbof)

66 Dude, I'm not the one who linked LeMoN PaRtY. I have never even been to that site. My links are mostly lolcat pics.

But, yeah, any blog with posts such as "Fuck you, Pretty Sunrise" from a guy who takes pics on his daily commute to complain about other motorists is a winner in my book.

Posted by: Bart at April 07, 2008 11:52 AM (7hkcp)

67 You've got my vote!

Posted by: USCitizen at April 07, 2008 12:19 PM (5pDev)

68 "But it's just strange and not really right that this site is on there and others aren't."

Not really. It's one of the few political blogs that's also a cultural niche. (Yeah, "AoS Lifestyle" is a joke, but it sort of isn't.)

Posted by: someone at April 07, 2008 12:29 PM (2z2WN)

Polynikes @ #44: I found this. Didn't clink the ace link in the article but I thought it was interesting that this was not the first time it was reported.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/06/15/bloggers.bush/index.html

Wow. TIME's Tom McNichol basically plagiarized that word for word.

CNN: "The blog Ace of Spades HQ called Bush 'incompetent' and 'embarrassingly dimwitted' and urged him to retire."

TIME: "the blog called President Bush 'incompetent' and 'embarrassingly dimwitted' and urged him to retire."

TIME Magazine: Our job is readin' shit, not writin' shit.

And WTF is meant by "retire," anyway? Resign? I don't recall the Bush Retirement Post when we were batting around the Comprehensive Piece Of Shit, which by the way wasn't mentioned in Ace's highlights despite being the keystone of the Blogger Of The Year award.

Posted by: marchand chronicles at April 07, 2008 12:30 PM (e3YS3)

I linked what I thought was a bizarre little video. I've never been to the site, I saw it on an entertaiment blog. I had no idea what it really was. Someone in the comments linked a photo of old guy pron, I learned a lesson. You have a good memory.

"Clean the snow off your car, douches." and "Fuck you wide load" is pretty funny. I wonder how many road rage incidents that guy has had. Or are the pics "therapy."

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at April 07, 2008 12:34 PM (1rNdj)

Bart, that blog made me laugh so hard I was squirting tears.

"F you nuclear bomb looking sun!"

Wow!

Posted by: lolmccain at April 07, 2008 01:40 PM (proln)

woops.

Posted by: captkidney at April 07, 2008 01:51 PM (proln)

73 Ooo, the Kos Kiddies are gonna be pissed, Ace is kickin ass. And Sully is in the shitter, no not his shitter.

Posted by: Iblis at April 07, 2008 02:12 PM (9221z)

74 maybe they don't see anything wrong with murdering hobos while in a vodka-induced blackout.

Posted by: Monty at April 07, 2008 09:04 AM (BuiC1)

Umm, I think we're supposed to be using the term 'harvesting' instead.

Posted by: CUS at April 07, 2008 02:22 PM (bbXZq)

And Sully is in the shitter, no not his shitter.

Ha!

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at April 07, 2008 02:44 PM (1rNdj)

76 The Reverse Cowgirl has now overtaken Kos and HuffPo. Now that right there is funny.

I for one am glad to line up behind her. In fact, I say we all do.

Posted by: Blacksheep at April 07, 2008 02:54 PM (EQYOq)

The Kos Kidz have awoken from their hemp-addled naps and are dragging Ace down.

Go vote.

Leave comments too.

Posted by: Gunslinger at April 07, 2008 04:51 PM (Zi+FQ)

78 The Kos Kidz have awoken from their hemp-addled naps and are dragging Ace down.

Flak means you are over the target.

Posted by: Phinn at April 07, 2008 05:26 PM (NLtoU)

79 We're down to an 8 now and in 2nd place behind some poser I've never heard of called Indexer? With more votes?

Get with the program, morons! NEED MOAR TENZ!

Posted by: Beth at April 07, 2008 09:51 PM (yqiXY)

80 Okay, I'm doing all the work here now. Ace is back at #1, but it's close.

Somebody needs to post about this again!!!

Posted by: Beth at April 07, 2008 11:09 PM (yqiXY)

81 I'm on it, Beth.

By the way...does Ace know that he's been nominated (by Allahpundit) to join a tone deaf, Obama themed boy band with him to combat the "McCain Girls" posers?

Posted by: Nice Deb at April 08, 2008 12:46 AM (ZJrzv)

82 I, for one, welcome our new Boy Band Overlords.

BTW, I can't believe there aren't more moron comments over at Time. Tank from Muddy Ditch, Israel just left one, but where is everyone else???

Where are the Scandis?

Posted by: Beth at April 08, 2008 01:54 AM (yqiXY)

83 A couple people need to make some sockpuppet comments for Gleen, too.

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