Scary Photoshop

That's disturbing, man.

Thanks to DaveF.

Not Quite As Disturbing As... A trailer for "Machine Girl," a Japanese schoolgirl revenge flick. Gruesomely violent. Decapitation/dismemberment plus ridiculously powerful arterial spray warning.

Thanks to Sharkman.

Posted by: Ace at 05:17 PM

Comments

1 You would think they would be inverted trying to get away.

Posted by: idkfa at December 10, 2007 05:22 PM (cEfwo)

2 As a fine fellow called raz0r pointed out, Hildabeast looks pretty excited at the prospect of finally getting one before Bill.

Posted by: stoo at December 10, 2007 05:25 PM (nTqOY)

Good photoshop. Interesting that the expression didn't change at all. The rainbow pin is a nice touch. But why did they have Hillary! take her hand off Natalie's ass?

Posted by: Lokki at December 10, 2007 05:28 PM (wSBsc)

4 Frankly, the original was more disturbing, what with Hillary! staring straight into the camera and that visions-of-sugarplums grin on her mug, and poor Natalie looking like she was wished she was somewhere, anywhere else.

Posted by: Brown Line at December 10, 2007 05:30 PM (hgIQl)

5 Machine Girl looks oddly familiar. Those Japanese filmmakers are adorable aren't they? What, no schoolgirl necrophilia this time? That's my favorite!

Posted by: Joanie at December 10, 2007 05:43 PM (Yyy1m)

Why all the Hillary hate? She's just doing her part to screen the lovely Ms. Portman for Breast Cancer.

Posted by: Jack M. at December 10, 2007 05:44 PM (b96e6)

7 Why all the Hillary hate? She's just doing her part to screen the lovely Ms. Portman for Breast Cancer.

That's what those dismissed pages said: "We were just screening each other for penile cancer!"

Posted by: aoshq janitorial, escort, & matchmaker service at December 10, 2007 05:51 PM (pDnz8)

8 This guy is as freaky as Tree Man - meet Face Eating Tumor Dude:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/news/2007/12/03/wface103.xml

Posted by: sdhgfshj at December 10, 2007 05:53 PM (LHwbh)

AOSHQ J.E.M.S,

As they say, 8 inches of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Posted by: Jack M. at December 10, 2007 05:53 PM (b96e6)

10 Shit, that movie was done better in the 80's...

SHOGUN ASSASSIN!

Posted by: E Buzz Miller at December 10, 2007 05:54 PM (Rdq2+)

11
O.T.: They are reporting the church shooter in Colorado was the kid of a local neurosurgeon and that the security guard who took him down was a female volunteer. Good for her!

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Joanie:

Machine Girl looks quite a bit like the awesome Go Go Yubari from Kill Bill, Vol. I.

Posted by: Sharkman at December 10, 2007 06:05 PM (UioS4)

13 Machine Girl is no Yo-Yo Girl Cop.

Posted by: Z Ryan at December 10, 2007 06:09 PM (PDeVA)

14 Eeew, that trailer was so over-the-top; it was like Eric Cartman and Bart Simpson filiming the most disgusting violence they can imagine ("I know, what about a plate of sushi topped with bloody fingers? Yeah, and then the girl can have a drill bra!":..)

I didn't think I was a racist, but the Japanese are a bunch of f'n perverts.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 10, 2007 06:11 PM (uzP/l)

15
Of course, they learn it from us.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 10, 2007 06:12 PM (uzP/l)

16 Sharkman,

You're right. And schoolgirls are such a recurring theme in Japanese exploitation films. Don't get me wrong, I like it. It's just that it's starting to get a little old. I think the Germans should start making some.

Posted by: Joanie at December 10, 2007 06:15 PM (Yyy1m)

that shit has awesome sauce written all over it.That machine girl movie reminds me a lot of Battle Royale for obvious reasons and that shit has awesome sauce written all over it.

Posted by: orko at December 10, 2007 06:22 PM (UvFDb)

18 It's a sad day when churches need security personnel.

Posted by: Muslihoon at December 10, 2007 06:32 PM (LR1ZU)

^{I think the Germans should start making some.}

Oooh, now ve're ghetting kink-ey, ja?

Feel like leading the way on this drive?

Posted by: TheEJS at December 10, 2007 06:32 PM (KINJc)

Oh man! If that bullshit sleepfest gore made can get an Oscar, Machine Girl is gonna clean up. They've got the Best Prosthetic Limb, Best Raw Food, Best Woman in School Girl Dress, and Best Red Ninjas.

And there's already Red Ninja Action Figures.

Posted by: Iblis at December 10, 2007 06:35 PM (9221z)

21 Awesome Sauce: great rock group moniker.

Posted by: ricpic at December 10, 2007 06:46 PM (gN5X2)

22 I'm thinking about gratuitously linking Thora Birch again, just on general principles.

Posted by: Nordbuster at December 10, 2007 07:02 PM (jYT9+)

23 Oh, what the hell . . .

Posted by: Nordbuster at December 10, 2007 07:03 PM (jYT9+)

24 Thanks, Nordbuster. In my bunk, I shall be, wanking my crank, endlessly.

Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 10, 2007 07:19 PM (WbUhr)

25 Those Japanese really need to watch their blood pressure. Low salt diet dudes, low salt diet.

Posted by: Scott Free at December 10, 2007 07:38 PM (E/8bx)

26 Good job, especially on Natalie's eyes.

Posted by: Alan at December 10, 2007 07:42 PM (KOoUh)

"Oooh, now ve're ghetting kink-ey, ja?

Feel like leading the way on this drive?"

Actually, I'd be careful what you wish for. You'll end up with more Nazi Youth scissor-castrations, humping of disemboweled cats, and headless corpse sex. Wait, you're right! I'm on it! "German Scheisse Schoolgirls Go Rape Crazy Murder Fun"...in my dreams.

Posted by: Joanie at December 10, 2007 07:54 PM (32L4Y)

28 Thanks, Nordbuster. In my bunk, I shall be, wanking my crank, endlessly.

Y'know, that's the great thing about DVD -- with the pause and slow-mo function, that scene from American Beauty can last for hours.

Ditto the famous Phoebe Cates scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Posted by: Nordbuster at December 10, 2007 07:55 PM (jYT9+)

29 Ditto The Blue Lagoon.

Posted by: Bernie Ward at December 10, 2007 07:56 PM (jYT9+)

The photo is faked but true.

Posted by: Dan Rather at December 10, 2007 08:02 PM (a8us3)

31 Is it bad that I was able to block "Her Worship" from my view? Somehow I knew the girl was cute, but I just couldn't place the face. Natalie and Thora in one thread, my evening is spent.

Posted by: Todler at December 10, 2007 08:27 PM (hrh5K)

32 Someone needs to tell Senator Hillary Rodham (Palpatine) Clinton that Natalie Portman is actually an *actress* and that befriending her isn't the first step to becoming Empress of the Galaxy.

Posted by: pbrown at December 10, 2007 08:48 PM (vxGjP)

33 Just a couple of white girls -- big deal.

My man Obama, he's magic!

Posted by: Oprah at December 10, 2007 10:50 PM (jYT9+)

34 What's interesting here is how little Miss Portman's eyes had to be changed. They look miserable and desperate in the first picture, but this one makes them look worse.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 10, 2007 11:21 PM (hfyfI)

35 Just the fact that you guys noticed changes...well, screams the ghey!!! Focus, focus.

Posted by: Hongqi at December 11, 2007 12:08 AM (+WuMm)

36 That's great! It's like a living MAD Magazine cover!

Posted by: Kensington at December 11, 2007 03:26 AM (Hzq7R)

My god.

Their faces...they actually look....sincere.

That's the first time Hillary has ever looked sincere.

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