CAUGHT ON VIDEO: THE UNMASKING OF THE REPTOID CONSPIRACY
When I was younger and not as wise, I mocked the theory that the world was being controlled by a race of shapeshifting reptilian Jewish space vampires called "Reptoids" whose ranks included such luminaries as the Queen of England and, um, Kris Kristofferson. (If you play Me and Bobby McGee backwards, it reveals the exact coordinates of NORAD's secret Rocky Mountain Strangelove Sex Shaft.)Well, just goes to show you. There is now, it is averred, proof that the Reptoids walk among us, and, even more frightening, they are largely brown people. God, I was afraid of them enough when they were merely reptilian aliens from space who wanted to suck my blood while performing rituals from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Now, on top of all of that, they keep pushing shows like Moesha on me. Courage.
1 Soon your human race will be but grease for the wheels of our rule!
Posted by: Jew at October 01, 2007 04:29 PM (PDeVA)
2 Anyone have Rowdy Roddy Piper's phone number?
I think we've just run out of bubble gum.
Posted by: DelD at October 01, 2007 04:31 PM (MNyRf)
3 Just give us your money and we will let you live - for now!
Posted by: Robert at October 01, 2007 04:37 PM (6Cp0G)
Speaking of brown people, Tushar must be taking time off of work. Otherwise, I would expect him to be fucking off on the job and posting madly how tired he is. Bwaaahhhhh!!!!!
Posted by: dave at October 01, 2007 04:37 PM (oR8jC)
5 I saw this on the last season of CSI. Ally Sheedy guest starred and everything.
Posted by: Stormy70 at October 01, 2007 04:50 PM (Y+o71)
6 Yikes!! That would explain things like the missing honey bees Helen Thomas.
Posted by: CAD Daddy at October 01, 2007 04:55 PM (U6x6j)
7 hes clearly from the FIFTH DIMENSION someone better call BUCKAROO BANZAI and where is JOHN LITHGOW
Posted by: somewing guv'nor at October 01, 2007 05:26 PM (lPxkl)
8 There are some truly odd people out there in this big world. I'm talking call the kids home, lock the door, hide the cheese whiz, the reptillians are coming wierd. Is thisconspiracy theorists group older or younger than the TV series 'V'? Did some person withparanoid delusions manage to convince the staff to let him watch the show and then scared the other patients in group? I look forward to the YouTube video of some reptillian invasion believer attempting to remove this reporter's mask.
Posted by: bonhomme at October 01, 2007 06:47 PM (z9gCU)
9 I'm not seeing it.
Is it the artifacts of video compression that make the mottling on their skin? Is that what we're objecting to? The proof?
That's easily dispatched with a few factual explanations of how compression works, and the fact that the Reptoids always work from BEHIND the scenes. Duh.
Posted by: moviegique at October 01, 2007 06:58 PM (1y5Vr)
10 I once met a guy who believed this conspiracy. He went to a small church predicated on the notion. Although these were angels in the form of lizards from other planets. Basically the same thing. Anyway, he wasotherwise a successful business professional. I wouldn't expect cult members to be all that good at other spheres of life.
Posted by: John at October 01, 2007 07:11 PM (ZYkRv)
11 Is thisconspiracy theorists group older or younger than the TV series 'V'?
Quite a bit older, actually. It's so damn crazy it's almost interesting. Almost. "Interesting," like goatse is "interesting."
Posted by: Beth at October 01, 2007 07:58 PM (yqiXY)
12 BTW, if you want some more laughs, read the wikipedia talk ("discussion") pages on any loony conspiracy shit (the 9/11 shit is the worst). That'll tell you all you need to know about Wikipedia's legitimacy.
Posted by: Beth at October 01, 2007 08:07 PM (yqiXY)
13 moviegique: yeah, looks like whoever compressed the clip originally (the YouTube is a second-generation copy if I understand correctly) set the compression too aggressively so keyframes weren't generated often enough to keep the obvious artifacts at bay.
Posted by: Ian S. at October 02, 2007 12:59 AM (pg/HS)
14 I, for one, welcome our reptilian overlords.
Posted by: Bentsteele at October 02, 2007 08:00 AM (gJRfN)
1) EIGHTH dimension. Sheesh.
2) Anyone who actually believes that compression artifacts = lizards should... should... just shut up. I realize that most people viewing this think it's a joke, ha-ha, but there are some truly mad people out there.
3) Cultists are sometimes quite successful, because of their obsessive natures. They focus better (pathologically so, sometimes) and have an "overarching goal" that helps them keep working at something when the rest of us would have better things to do.
Obviously, at its extremes, this results in non-functional paranoid delusion, but inside the margins obsession, while not healthy or fulfilling, can spur productivity.
In other words, the same thing that's so annoying about fanatics (their single-mindedness) can push them farther than most people (who have varied interests) can go.
That, and you really free up a lot of time in your social calendar when you're bugfuck insane.
Posted by: Merovign at October 02, 2007 12:58 PM (ynF6J)
Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0091 seconds.
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Real Clear Politics
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)