Keyes Joins Race for Presidency

You heard it here first (I bet): Alan Keyes, former diplomat, serial campaigner, is seeking the Republican nomination for president.

Keyes made his announcement on some radio program I'd never heard of (Janet Parshall). He'll be joining the JV Republican candidates--Brownback, Huckabee, Hunter, Paul, Tancredo and John Cox--in a Florida debate on Monday night.

Keyes is fairly described as being a strong social conservative (so you can cross him off my list). He's outspoken about his pro-life beliefs and equally outspoken about his opposition to homosexuality. His favorite television show, according to Wikipedia, is Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. So I guess he has that going for him (it was the best Star Trek).

He's probably going to have to do more explaining of why he said in 2004 that the descendants of black slaves should not have to pay federal income tax. But I do like his other name for income taxes: "insidious tax slavery."

The real question in all of this: who the hell is John Cox?

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 10:12 PM

Comments

1 Maybe he's looking for a rematch with Obama.

Oh, and he looks like Omar Epps probably will when he gets into his fifties:

Keyes

Epps

Posted by: notropis at September 15, 2007 10:17 PM (aPjoU)

Keyes told syndicated radio host Janet Parshall he's "unmoved" by the lack of moral courage shown by the other candidates, among whom he sees no standout who articulates the "key kernel of truth that must, with courage, be presented to our people."

He added, "The one thing I've always been called to do is to raise the standard ... of our allegiance to God and His authority that has been the foundation stone of our nation's life" – and he decried the lack of "forthright, clear, and clarion declaration" from the current crop of presidential contenders.

Ye Gods. Just what the GOP doesn't need--a religious right freak fest. The MSM will eat this up and give Mr. Keyes all kinds of attention, IMHO. Expect lots of opportunities for James Dobson to pontificate all about how Fred! and Rudy and McCain aren't Christians, or Christian enough for him.....my favorite Dobson idiocy was where he said Gingrich is A-OK because he asked Dobson for forgiveness.

Pope Dobson, able to grant forgiveness for the nation?

Posted by: funky chicken at September 15, 2007 10:28 PM (I+jPP)

3 "who the hell is John Cox?"

"John Cox is the only real conservative running for president."

At least so sayeth John Cox.

Posted by: notropis at September 15, 2007 10:54 PM (aPjoU)

4 Introducing John Cox. Decent article, but you'll have to dig to find more.

Posted by: The Apologist at September 15, 2007 11:07 PM (bJCud)

Finally, a President who can debate the pros and cons of Cardassian society.

Um, I mean....NERDS!!!!!! I don't watch Star Trek.

Posted by: Mike at September 15, 2007 11:13 PM (NnpEK)

6 Is it just me, or is there a real LaRouchian vibe about Keyes? I can't put my finger on why, but I keep expecting him to start going on and on about the Trilaterial Commission aaaaaany second now.

Posted by: alexthechick at September 15, 2007 11:23 PM (y+raB)

7 Cox goes by Galt these days. I still don't know who the hell he is.

Posted by: Pablo at September 15, 2007 11:32 PM (yTndK)

8 I like Keyes.

Well, I did, until he flipped the fuck out an went on a hunger strike like some kind of pussy.
Fuck Keyes, and his racist policy to exempt black people from taxes.

Posted by: Don Carl at September 15, 2007 11:42 PM (SI81Z)

9 Keyes is strange. And personally quite likeable. At times he will appear to be astonishingly bright. It is quite dangerous to debate with him if you are not 110% prepared.

Yet at other times he goes off on some ultra conservative tangent with Christianity in the lead. Then he decides everything depends on correcting the sins of slavery through reparations and preferences.

What he is saying today doesn't matter. He defeats himself by not appearing stable. And like LaRouche you can't be sure what he is saying.

Posted by: K at September 16, 2007 12:03 AM (LIGtI)

In the Dictionary under Nutjob is a picture of A. Keyes. What a joke.

Posted by: RighTurn at September 16, 2007 12:05 AM (ojH/g)

Are you nutz?

Voyager was mucho better than DS9. I mean 7of9 alone!

Posted by: 5Cats at September 16, 2007 12:59 AM (Knaf0)

12 Keyes is fairly described as a "social conservative" (so you can cross him off my list)...

Please name any one "Repub of the Top 8" that isn't pandering for the "right wing"/'social con' vote...?

BTW-- are you voting for Edwards, or Obama?

Posted by: fletch at September 16, 2007 01:16 AM (FJL3x)

13 Gabriel Malor-

The "Tim F" of the 'Ace O Spades'...

Posted by: fletch at September 16, 2007 01:26 AM (FJL3x)

14 You heard it here first (I bet)

Nope!
;-p

Posted by: Beth at September 16, 2007 01:26 AM (yqiXY)

15 Damn, I read that John Cox article and I feel sorta sorry for the guy. Not enough to vote for a guy who has less than zero chance, but still. It's pretty fucked up that nutter Ron F'n Paul gets to troll the debates, but Cox can't even get in the door to watch it.

Watch Keyes get in, though, because he's a known figure (thanks to his endless quests for political office).

Pope Dobson, able to grant forgiveness for the nation?

Please, don't insult the Pope or any Catholic by using Dobson's name in association with the pontiff. Dobson needs to go away. (I'm just trying to be nice about it).

Posted by: Beth at September 16, 2007 01:56 AM (yqiXY)

16 So who's gonna fund a Keyes run? Who is gonna put money on this longshot? He polls like what .......26% against an empty suit in Illinois? Addmittely he started the race in the hole, but still. Has he not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's not an acceptable candidate for middle America? Alan, get your ass back into the think tank and figure out ways for candidates with a cut dog's chance to get the conservative message out.

Posted by: Sticky B at September 16, 2007 02:03 AM (wkjFE)

17 Voyager was mucho better than DS9. I mean 7of9 alone!

Blasphemy! Any hotness of 7-of-9 was completely nullified by having to listen to Captain Muppet's voice.

Anyway, two words: "Jadzia Dax". Yes, those spots went alllll the way down.

Oh, uh, I mean, uh, "Neeeeeeeeerds!"

Posted by: Xoxotl at September 16, 2007 02:37 AM (tH4zz)

18 I just read that Erin Grey was up for the role of Janeway in DS9.

I would have watched it, if she was!

Also, Beth, thats where I read it first too, great site too!

Posted by: JarvisW at September 16, 2007 03:57 AM (faim5)

19 Er, or was that for Voyager? Either way.

Posted by: JarvisW at September 16, 2007 03:59 AM (faim5)

John Cox: Losing another campaign.

Holy fucknuts, I had to Google this guy and he's lost almost as many elections as Bob Shrum.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at September 16, 2007 04:01 AM (v8vVW)

21 Guys guys guys.

Star Trek TOS, dude. Lt Uhura. Nurse Chapel. Elaan of Troius (or whatever she's called). Amanda, mother of Spock (hey, MILF right? Have you seen Jane Wyatt at her peak? Damn). And that woman who's a porn actress - not that I ever saw her movies, no, I deny it, nobodysawmedoit youcan'tproveanything.

TNG too... um. Counselor Troi. Beverly Crusher. That's about it, really. Maybe Worf's K'Ehleyr (or whatever she's called)

DS9... well, yeah, both Daxes. Ezri Dax is after all kinda cute. That, too, is about it.

VOY, hmm, B'Elanna's kinda cool. 7of9, yeah, I won't mind being assimilated by her, for sure. That's about it, too. Altho Janeway's not half bad, if you go for that older woman schtick.

ENT has that hot hot Vulcaness, T'Pol. And Hoshi's not too bad, sorta kinda. But that's it.

So, all in all, TOS wins hands down

And the word is Trekker. Trekker, dude, like them Boers. Nobody pocks with the Trekkers.

Posted by: George at September 16, 2007 04:05 AM (cjwF0)

22 So, all in all, TOS wins hands down

Well, yeah. That was kind of a given.

You forgot three things:

1) Hot green Orion slave chicks.
2) Kirk got the swirl on with Lt. Uhura.
3) Hot green Orion slave chicks.

Posted by: Xoxotl at September 16, 2007 06:28 AM (tH4zz)

so you can cross him off my list

yeah, we're all dying to know who you're going to vote for

Posted by: My Fat Ass at September 16, 2007 07:25 AM (q+HK/)

Oh yeah, I'm really going to vote for some unstable nutjob who even booted his lesbian daughter out of the house and refuses to speak with her. I don't think so...

Posted by: John at September 16, 2007 09:00 AM (7itTb)

25 Ye Gods. Just what the GOP doesn't need--a religious right freak fest.

I've heard Keyes on the stump -- he's an absolutely mesmerizing speaker. Of course, this was in 1996 when he was just a plain vanilla social conservative, albeit a strong one, which is why I went to hear him speak. He was the candidate that most reflected my values.

I don't know what happened to him, though. After 2000, it was like he caught a fast train to Goofyland and I doubt I'd even consider voting for him today. Sad. A lot of wasted potential there.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 16, 2007 12:39 PM (ZcUOp)

26 People is everyone forgeting quality over quantity? T'Pol getting gel rubed all over her in the decon chamber atleast every other episode! T'Pol stripping down to her undies in just about every episode in season three! T'Pol mmmmm T'Pol.

Posted by: southdakotaboy at September 16, 2007 03:53 PM (h4b3x)

The really sad thing is that even post-prime goofy Keyes can probably beat the shit out of all comers in a debate. Now that's a sad state of affairs.

He's probably gunning for a VP spot. He can market himself as providing cover for Republicans from the racist-whiteman no minorities charge. He'd be like a Dick Cheney, except black, and without the cougar impaling penis.

Posted by: Iblis at September 16, 2007 05:01 PM (9221z)

28 Argh, how can anybody forget about them Orion slave girls? But they don't entirely count - not regulars.

On Topic, I like Christian rednecks. Or blacknecks, as the case may be. All depends on how far down the line they are, I guess.

But if he can capture the ENTIRE self-described evangelical vote, then you might have to work with the guy. Can't be too bad, can it? He's not going all 10 Commandments and Old Testament badness, is he?

Posted by: George at September 16, 2007 08:41 PM (cjwF0)

People is everyone forgeting quality over quantity? T'Pol getting gel rubed all over her in the decon chamber atleast every other episode! T'Pol stripping down to her undies in just about every episode in season three! T'Pol mmmmm T'Pol.

Oh yeah, I remember that. Ever see the spread the actress did in Maxim? Not too shabby. Of course during some of those scenes you mention I had my eye on Tucker. Oh yeah, baby. Drawl something for me Tuck...

Posted by: John at September 16, 2007 09:04 PM (7itTb)

30 Look here, Gabe.

Jurassic Park was a crappy movie from most perspectives, but for the first time we got to see dinosaurs moving around like they were real. It was so cool that we overlooked everything else.

Voyager was the best Star Trek, and I think we all know why.

Posted by: LiveFreeOrDie at September 17, 2007 10:19 AM (iPnad)

31 Now lookee here, LFOD, Jeri Lynn Ryan doesn't hold a candle to Jolene Blalock, right? Well, maybe a candle or two. And I will admit that my screen heroes during the late 80s was RDA on Macgyver and SB on Quantum Leap, so seeing them back in action on SG1 and ENT really made my day. And watching Macgyver the anti-gun nut on SG1 blowing shit up, that was great.

Ah, Samantha Carter... she made my day too

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