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| Al Qaeda Promises "A Big Surprise," "And Soon, Allah Willing"...which I assume will not be the pony I've begged my daddy for since I was 34. A new al Qaeda propaganda ad, headlined "Wait for the Big Surprise" and featuring a digitally altered photograph of President George Bush and Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf standing in front of a burning White House, was posted on the Internet today. The brief clip from al Qaeda's "as Sahab" propaganda arm juxtaposes the doctored photo of Bush and Musharraf along with previously seen images of al Qaeda's top leadership -- Osama bin Laden, Ayman al Zawahri and Adam Gadahn -- as well as a photo of an SUV in a motorcade. There is no additional information provided in the ad, and it closes with the words, "Soon -- God willing," written across the screen and repeated several times.Are they suggesting an assassination? And if so, an American one or one in Pakistan? I find the former unlikely -- I have zero confidence in the CIA, not terribly much more in the FBI, but a fair amount in the SS protective division -- and, furthermore, entirely unproductive from their point of view. I'm not glibly making a Dick Cheney's gonna getcha crack here. But a major assassination (including a failed attempt) will galvanize the American public. It is so infrequently noted that interference by the jihadi world in Western affairs -- intruding into our lives with their hegemonic psychopathy -- makes more anti-terrorists than it kills, to coin a phrase. I wouldn't dismiss it, of course, and such threats must be taken seriously. But Al Qaeda has lately issued many threats and, outside of Iraq, conducted relatively few successful terrorist attacks. On the other hand, the Pakistan scenario makes more sense from their point of view, and is likely much more achievable. But they've been trying that for years, haven't they? Maybe Sky Captain Obama will get his wish regarding the Great Overmountain Invasion of Pakistan sooner than he'd hoped. Via Hot Air, which I'm sure will have more interesting analysis about this later. August Storm Warning? Last year scholar of Islam Bernard Lewis noted that August 22nd corresponded to a religiously-numinous date in the Islamic calender. What is the significance of Aug. 22? This year, Aug. 22 corresponds, in the Islamic calendar, to the 27th day of the month of Rajab of the year 1427. This, by tradition, is the night when many Muslims commemorate the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq, first to "the farthest mosque," usually identified with Jerusalem, and then to heaven and back (c.f., Koran XVII.1). This might well be deemed an appropriate date for the apocalyptic ending of Israel and if necessary of the world. It is far from certain that Mr. Ahmadinejad plans any such cataclysmic events precisely for Aug. 22. But it would be wise to bear the possibility in mind.Obviously that didn't quite come to pass. What day this corresponds to on our calender this year I don't know, but I imagine it's at least somewhere in the ballpark of mid-August. (How screwed-up could their calender be at this point? Eh, never mind, I don't think I want to know the answer.) Probably nothing as it was last year, but I thought I'd mention it. Not because I place much stock in such primitive numerology and anniversaries celebrated with murder, but because they do. Thanks to dr. akim ullshitbay, which I have "near certainty" is his actual legal given name. August 11th... This Islamic calender converter tells me "Rajab" 27, 1428 falls on August 11, 2007. Not happy about that 8/11 date. Note I screwed up entering the date the first time, putting the wrong numbers into boxes. Thanks to reliapundit for setting me straight, though he says August 10. Comments1
We need a website featuring the heads (and other bits and pieces) of all the terrorists we and Israel have sent to allah.
Posted by: dave at August 01, 2007 08:30 PM (EFdcK) Posted by: adamthemad at August 01, 2007 08:30 PM (yD3R/) 3
"There is no terrorist threat, folks." --- Michael Moore
Posted by: eman at August 01, 2007 08:40 PM (F/DIG) 4
Complaining about their threats is a hate crime.
Posted by: steve_in_hb at August 01, 2007 08:45 PM (7FHPf) 5
No, they turned over a new leaf, it's ponies for everyone.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 01, 2007 08:48 PM (wmgz8) 6
I am waiting for the fat ladies head to come off and say, "Get ready for a surprise!".
Stupid terrorists! I can't take them seriously if their threats take my mind directly to Mars in Total Recall. Recall. Recall. Recall. la la la. Posted by: Stormy70 at August 01, 2007 08:49 PM (Y+o71) 7
An assassination attempt? Why, I haven't been this upset excited since I got gave my last blowjob!
Posted by: JimBimbo at August 01, 2007 08:55 PM (qLAVM) 8
Can we just bomb Mecca already?!
Posted by: ricpic at August 01, 2007 08:57 PM (0FRi9) 9
Well, that settles it, if anyone invites you to an Islamist suprise party, don't go.
Posted by: eman at August 01, 2007 09:02 PM (F/DIG) 10
You laugh, but when 35 al Qaeda terrorists dressed in baggy pants and floppy shoes armed with RPGs and AK47s come tumbling out of a single VW Beetle near a governmental motorcade and start opening fire, you'll be surprised. You'll be surprised. Everybody's been so damn busy checking flight schools and trucking schools and ship captain schools that nobody's bothered to check clown schools. Posted by: BumperStickerist at August 01, 2007 09:05 PM (Gz4Wf) 11
What about last year's warning by Bernard Lewis? August 2 is a key date.
Posted by: ahem at August 01, 2007 09:10 PM (GNR9B) 12
besides being best at blowing themselves up and kids in pizzarias, these jihadis are big talkers. if you gotta big dick you do not need to talk about having a big dick....i have heard. didn't ahmanutjob boast about big happenings last april?...wha' happened? gornischt. Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at August 01, 2007 09:18 PM (4xK1D) 13
shit august 2nd is tomorrow....yikes! i gotta go clean the bomb shelter!
Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at August 01, 2007 09:20 PM (4xK1D) 14
Maybe that bridge collapsed on a van full of Jihadis. That would bite allah's ass.
Posted by: eman at August 01, 2007 09:24 PM (F/DIG) 15
Hey, check out Adam "Flounder" Gadhan on the video! Hes like a big-wig now. Fat gay and homosexual is no way to go through life, Azzam Posted by: TMF at August 01, 2007 09:25 PM (+Ac3z) 16
ALL YOUR THREATS ARE BELONG TO US!
Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:25 PM (5vkf0) 17
Everyone please take note about how I'm not talking about my big dick.
Posted by: Tomtastic at August 01, 2007 09:26 PM (eJTKu) 18
if you gotta big dick you do not need to talk about having a big dick No, please do talk about your big dick. I'll be waiting right here..ahh ah ah ahhh uhhhh mmm mmm.... I'll be right back, I mean. Then you can tell me all abou.. uh uh ahhh ah ohmygod ohmy uhhh... all about it. Posted by: JimBimbo at August 01, 2007 09:29 PM (qLAVM) 19
BTW: RAJAB 27 IS AUGUST 10TH THIS YEAR....
Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:31 PM (5vkf0) 20
JimBimbo is going to have surgery so that he can breathe through his ears. No more gagging and catching his breath.
Posted by: eman at August 01, 2007 09:34 PM (F/DIG) 21
reliapundit--
this converter: http://www.oriold.uzh.ch/static/hegira.html Says it already fell on July 12. Am I using it wrong? Posted by: ace at August 01, 2007 09:36 PM (1UCRY) 22
ace - i got mine from the nystate prisons calender.
will recheck. be sure to input 2007 and rajab 27... Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:38 PM (5vkf0) 23
JIMBIMBO SUX AZZAM THE AMERICANS SHWANZ IN MECCA
Posted by: TMF at August 01, 2007 09:38 PM (+Ac3z) 24
It seems I used it wrong-- but I still get Aug 11 instead of Aug 10.
Posted by: ace at August 01, 2007 09:39 PM (1UCRY) 25
ace - i rechecked using your converter and i am right.
rajab (month) 27 (day) 1428 (year) is august 10/11 Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:41 PM (5vkf0) 26
10/11. same thing.
Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:42 PM (5vkf0) Posted by: Paulitics at August 01, 2007 09:42 PM (47+Ys) 28
Democrats have schools?
They need to be taught how to walk again after the lobotomy and spine removal. Posted by: Purple Avenger at August 01, 2007 09:47 PM (0d45V) 29
ace - thanks for the mention.
BTW: i note that the "holiday" musimis "celebrate" on rajb 27 is when mo' went to "the furthest mosque" and ascended to heaven - a mosque which they now claim is on the temple mount. the holiday is called "blah blah blah ... al ISRAA..." - i think it interestin' that "al israa" is very VERY close etymologically to Yisroel. seems that mo' knew whose country he was in! ASIDE: the actual mosque on the mount wasn't built until the turks got there, in 715. so it's kinda hard to believe that it's the one in the koran. i blogged on this sometime back. here: (link split) http://astuteblogger.blogspot.com/2006/03/ jerusalem-and-so-called-al-aksa-mosque.html the post has pictures of the temple mount from the turn of the last century, when the turks controlled it: it was not a holy shrine; it was a dump; a disregarded ill-kept ignored mosque. the entire "al aksa" harangue of the pali's is political BS. propaganda. propaganda that today's pali's believe. pity. Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 09:50 PM (5vkf0) Posted by: republican nat'l committee at August 01, 2007 10:07 PM (baKz6) 31
That JimBimbo is quite the character, isn't he?
Posted by: Nice Deb at August 01, 2007 10:08 PM (5ILAe) 32
Oh, what are they going to do, set themselves on fire and get kicked in the balls? That was the last big surprise. How to top that? Maybe strap a JATO bottle to the roof of a car? Replace the fuses in the car with .22 bullets? Bring it.
Posted by: blaster at August 01, 2007 10:09 PM (7Q1rc) 33
Whats the dem plan on fighting international terrorism again, I forget. Raise their taxes? Posted by: TMF at August 01, 2007 10:15 PM (+Ac3z) 34
There are plenty of interesting dates in the month of Rajab. August 8 is Rajab 24, the anniversary of the Battle of the Trench when Mo and his peeps defended Medina from infidel tribes by digging a trench. It's in the koran somewhere. There's also the anniversary of the Battle of Tabouk, the last battle Mo participated in personally. Saladin entered Jerusalem in Rajab but I don't know what day. And Mustafa Kemal of Turkey abolished the caliphate in Rajab. Lots of possibilities.
Posted by: Thomas the Wraith at August 01, 2007 10:17 PM (8uK0Z) 35
I've got a surprise for AQ too.
Posted by: BLU-82 at August 01, 2007 10:21 PM (0d45V) 36
reliapundit, 715 AD was the last year of Caliph Walid I the Umayyad, who was very much a Syrian Arab and no Turk. In 715 AD the Turks were an annoyance in the eastern front. The Turks didn't really get going in Islam until the 'Abbasid dynasty; I think around 900 AD or so. Amusingly that was because the Arab caliphs didn't trust their fellow Arab Muslims (wow, who'da thunk?) and so entrusted their security to their Turkish slaves. By tradition the Isra is connected to the revelation of the start of Sura 17. That sura begins with several references to the Jewish Temple. But yes, al-Aqsa (lit. 'the furthest') is certainly NOT a reference to the Temple Mount itself; for Dark Age believers in the One God, the Temple Mount was the centre of the planet. John Wansbrough's opinions are opaque and often wrong, but here I think he's right: the Qur'an was REinterpreted, deliberately, to centre in Mecca/Medina and to treat Jerusalem as "outside". The lunar calendar is, I recall, 354 days against the solar year's 365-and-change, so I'd expect the dates to precede about 11 days a year. 22 August last year is round about 8/11 this year. Posted by: David Ross at August 01, 2007 10:21 PM (hcx4A) 37
Buraq? As in Barack Hussein Obama?
Posted by: dri at August 01, 2007 10:23 PM (koO9y) 38
One more thing - today's Al-Aqsa may have been founded 715 CE, but there were structures on the Mount prior to that; the Dome of the Rock obviously (685-692) but even before that, plenty of witnesses saw a largish proto-mosque on the site. So it's not like the Muslims ignored the place. (As believers in sura 17, they couldn't.)
Posted by: David Ross at August 01, 2007 10:26 PM (hcx4A) 39
jimbo, baby, i'd let my wife tell you but she has her hands full.
Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at August 01, 2007 10:32 PM (4xK1D) Posted by: moab at August 01, 2007 10:33 PM (koO9y) 41
thanks for the correction david ross. syrians not turks. same diff.
my points remain. there was NO MOSQUE THERE WHEN MO WAS ALIVE. hence it cannot be the site of it today. Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 10:42 PM (5vkf0) 42
ACE: this might be the rajab 27 attack:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,291676,00.html excerpt: An Al Qaeda commander who escaped from a U.S. prison called on Pakistanis in a new Web video to overthrow President Gen. Pervez Musharraf as revenge for the killing of a pro-Taliban cleric in the Red Mosque showdown. The video was issued by Abu Yahia al-Libi, who broke out of the Bagram Air Base prison north of Kabul in 2005 and who Western and Afghan intelligence officials believe has since worked training suicide bombers in a camp in eastern Afghanistan. "O people of jihad (Holy War) in Pakistan ... hurry up and get rid of this corrupt and tyrannical apostate and his secular infidel rule. Destroy the fortifications of his weak army and the nests of his filthy intelligency agency and the core of his infidel rule," al-Libi said. • Get complete coverage in FOXNews.com's War on Terror Center. In a 21-minute-video tape, posted late Wednesday, al-Libi appeared wearing black turban and a white robe. Pictures of Musharraf and slain pro-Taliban cleric Abdul Rashid Ghazi appeared on the background. Ghazi was killed with at least 102 people in fighting when the Pakistani security forces raided Islamabad's Red Mosque last month. Ghazi and his associates were holed up inside and refused to lay down arms. Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 10:43 PM (5vkf0) 43
How many times do i have to tell you wingnuts, Al Queda are freedom fighters, not terrorists! The only terrorists around here are George Bush and Dick Cheney! When are you gonna get that through your thick wingnutty heads?
By the way, i farted again. It made my dingleberry's waft like ribbons on a fan. Posted by: JimBimbo at August 01, 2007 10:45 PM (Xtcxm) 44
david zimriel ross:
a mosque is a mosque. a proto-mosque is a proto-mosque. the koran does not say that mo' went up to heaven from a proto-mosque. and we know that at the time this event is alleged to have occurred, there was no mosque there. that's HISTORY baby. you can't change that. or would you invent a fiction which says these syrian muzlims would tear down the actual mosque/prot-mosque from which mo'-PBUH! ascended and replace it with another!?!?!?!? not a credible fiction. nor is claiming that the mosque on the temple mount is the al aksa mosque credible. it is non-credible. it is ludicrous. insane. a sham of a travesty of a mockery. Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 10:55 PM (5vkf0) 45
ace: my name know links to my group blog. how bout pasting one in under that generous mention, above!?? please?
Posted by: reliapundit at August 01, 2007 10:56 PM (5vkf0) 46
Do they make these pronouncements JUST to scare Democrats? Cuz' it does nothing for me.
Posted by: John F Not Kerry at August 01, 2007 10:56 PM (4gHqM) 47
Oh, and I definitely question the timing.
Posted by: John F Not Kerry at August 01, 2007 10:57 PM (4gHqM) 48
I think that the al Libi video conflicts a bit with the al Zawahri ad. The former is calling on Pakistanis to assassinate, or overthrow, while the latter is threatening assassination; an assassination plot presumably in the works.
Posted by: Nice Deb at August 01, 2007 11:06 PM (5ILAe) 49
So I'm thinking the ad might be b.s.
Posted by: Nice Deb at August 01, 2007 11:13 PM (5ILAe) 50
Following the Animal House meme, well there are similarities with Dick Cheney and D-Day:
"D-Day: Ramming speed!" Posted by: sergei at August 01, 2007 11:42 PM (h5pxv) 51
besides being best at blowing themselves up and kids in pizzarias, these jihadis are big talkers.
Yeah, I remember after 9/11 the jihadis were bragging about how America would be deluged by "a shower of airplanes" falling from the sky. Which, of course, never happened. Part of this is cultural; Arabs like to bluster a lot. Also, I think the jihadis do this to keep each other pumped up. Life can't be fun when you spend all your time living in a cave and dodging NATO ordnance coming at you from multiple directions. Posted by: OregonMuse at August 01, 2007 11:44 PM (5UgG/) 52
It must be true. It's quite evident that Bin Laden is so busy planning this that he hasn't the time to appear in the video. Again. Going on 6 years now, isn't it? Maybe he's just shy. Well, bad news for him if a Democrat is elected. I bet not a month goes by before he is regarded as "dead". Or more dead as the case may be.
Posted by: buzz at August 01, 2007 11:49 PM (rQuaK) 53
Although, to be fair, this is no different than our traditional annual Christmas pledges to kill all the infidels. What? Your church doesn't do that? Then you too shall burn!
Posted by: TallDave at August 02, 2007 12:00 AM (r1Ip+) 54
Yeah, I remember after 9/11 the jihadis were bragging about how America
would be deluged by "a shower of airplanes" falling from the sky
I put up a list of failed promises from Al Qaeda over the past 3 years at <a href="http://junkyardblog.transfinitum.net">JunkYardBlog</a>. Posted by: geoff at August 02, 2007 12:06 AM (rD0xE) Posted by: geoff at August 02, 2007 12:07 AM (rD0xE) 56
There go you fascist totalitarian wingnuts again, putting words into
the mouths of peaceful harmless Imams. In order to make sure that Rudy
wins the '08 SELection. You guys just shit yourselves over this
non-existant "terrorism". Look, a Mulsim! BOO! HAHAHA! Better put some
ice on that.
When are you clowns gonna realize that Bush is not stepping down in '09, and you will all be carted off to Gitmo to be tortured any day now? WHAT WILL YOU SAY WHEN THAT HAPPENS? HALLIBURTON! Posted by: Another Stupid Typical Fucking Moonbat at August 02, 2007 12:15 AM (6R33e) 57
Big talk, AQ. Too bad you are overextended in Iraq. No time to do anything worthwhile. Except for homegrown types, or what I call free agents, like the UK bombers or the Beltway snipers. I hear a Predator drone has a big surprise laid out for 8/29, a sacred date to most robotic AI soldiers, as its the foretold day in which Cyberdine Systems unleashes GTMW on the world. But, I think the year may be off. And I think that the last thing that goes through Ayman al Zawahri's mind is a hellfire missile. Posted by: joeindc44 at August 02, 2007 12:35 AM (3YwN2) 58
man, that Jimbimbo gives us trolls a bad name.
Posted by: Mike autospambot ver 2.1 at August 02, 2007 12:36 AM (3YwN2) 59
When AQ starts issuing warnings, it's time to . . . relax.
They didn't issue any warnings before 9/11, or the London attacks, or Madrid. When they're actually trying to do stuff, they try to keep it secret. But when they're on the run, getting hammered, and have nothing left . . . they can still issue threats and talk big. Maybe a bridge will collapse and they can try to take credit for it. These warnings are additional evidence that Petraeus is beating the crap out of them in Iraq, and the Pakistani Army is starting to do the same (finally) in Pakistan. Posted by: Trimegistus at August 02, 2007 12:46 AM (UWiLM) 60
Umm, guys, there was a building there when hoMo wasa running around. It was a Christian church. It was built by the Byzantines who ruled the area from the time of the Roman Empire; most likely by Constantine The Great's mother St. Helena, whose feast day is Aug. 18th.
Posted by: Don Carne at August 02, 2007 12:54 AM (wSNS7) 61
What till those AQ jaggofs see my surprise.
Posted by: The Crying Game at August 02, 2007 12:59 AM (0d45V) Posted by: thebronze at August 02, 2007 01:03 AM (8zsLf) Posted by: John McCain at August 02, 2007 01:09 AM (1ju3k) 64
Nice going, Geoff.
Posted by: Nice Deb at August 02, 2007 01:29 AM (bGW56) 65
8/11 is one of my daughter's birthdays, too.
Posted by: Nice Deb at August 02, 2007 01:37 AM (bGW56) 66
But a major assassination (including a failed attempt) will galvanize the American public. Like the KosKidss, assorted Democrats and Ron Paul dancing in the Arab street? Posted by: andycanuck at August 02, 2007 01:40 AM (J4lq2) 67
And I forgot: the MSM from all over the world.
Posted by: andycanuck at August 02, 2007 01:40 AM (J4lq2) 68
By the way, I'm sure you mean the USSS, the United States Secret Service, in reference to protecting POTUS. The SS are, we hope, all dead.
Posted by: nichevo at August 02, 2007 01:44 AM (Ak+g8) 69
There are some APEC meetings going on at the moment:
http://www.customs.gov.au/site/page.cfm?u=5683 With the leaders meetings coming in early September. Could be one to worry about. Posted by: Fm at August 02, 2007 04:01 AM (lQ/FV) 70
O/T: APEC. How relevant is it anymore given the ascendance of SCO?
Posted by: geoff at August 02, 2007 07:13 AM (rD0xE) 71
"Too bad you are overextended in Iraq. No time to do anything worthwhile. Except for homegrown types, or what I call free agents, like the UK bombers or the Beltway snipers."
But ... but ... Iraq is a civil war! al Qaeda has nothing to do with Iraq! We need to invade Pakistan - never mind their nuclear weapons! - to get after al Qaeda! Posted by: Barack Obama at August 02, 2007 07:18 AM (50X/W) 72
Quick - grab the tether lines. Obama is starting to float away.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at August 02, 2007 08:54 AM (0d45V) 73
"Soon -- God willing,"
So does this mean that if they fail, God hates terrorists? Since some of you seem likely to know, I'll ask - do Muslim holidays/days start at sunset the day before? Posted by: Alice H at August 02, 2007 09:41 AM (jRtPb) Posted by: kempermanx at August 02, 2007 10:10 AM (qvT/A) Posted by: Lou at August 02, 2007 10:19 AM (DngOs) 76
I bet not a month goes by before he is regarded as "dead". Or more dead as the case may be.
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. But I don't think a dishdashah has pockets so we can't go looking for loose change. Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 02, 2007 10:21 AM (tVbxd) 77
Kemper - good Reagan reference!
I think Obama is doing a JFK thing, like with the missile gap, talk some shit noone can contradict him on, because its all secret and stuff. Like we don't have people crawling over Pakistan already. Right. Posted by: blaster at August 02, 2007 10:28 AM (yNYVw) 78
"Allah wasn't willing" - that should be written on each bomb we drop on their sorry asses
Posted by: Roy at August 02, 2007 10:58 AM (QBYjk) 79
a mention!! OMG!!! i'm kvelling! and that's not ullshitbay. the truth - can you handle it? i am no longer a doctor... my license was taken away when i performed an unneccesary emergency walletectomy on a client...er i mean patient.... Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at August 02, 2007 12:40 PM (4xK1D) 80
They won't do it on 8/11 - that's a Saturday - they like the weekday news cycles. Still this is a little troubling. I'll be in DC on the 22nd. Eek.
Then again, they'd have to be really stupid to attack DC as long as Dubya is in office, or if Rudy gets in. Dubya will retaliate. Rudy would probably go nuke Mecca before they could even start dancing in the streets. I won't worry about DC unless someone less trustworthy on security gets into the WH. Posted by: liee at August 02, 2007 10:05 PM (CgBWf) 81
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The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) News/Chat
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