Scott Beauchamp Haiku Contest
For those who favor the short form.
Here's a good jumping off point. What follows is genuine Scott Thomas Beauchamps, the "greatest emerging poet" in America, by self-declaration.bavarian stories in some sort of rounded metaphysical order...personality death stories intersecting with poesy home memory reflections. You begin with a place and an action and let it carry in every direction till the words are vibrating on the page, dripping in thick robust delapidated (sic) barnhouses of adjectives and pronouns...no time for the subtle gray faced calculations of a PERFORMED intimacy...go...but remember what Kerouac forgot: revision is spontaneous also. a brief coming back to america introduction, stories about soldiers, prositutes (sic), innocent students rendered featherless by dark rivets of experience and the decadence of human pursuits in every vein...and then there's the veins...follow 'em. Cut your wrist let it bleed onto the paper in unique soulpatterns of mindthoughts.Via Hit & Run, which thinks he should be court--martialed just for that passage alone. Incidentally, his wife did win some sort of major prize in her youth for writing or editing... As the Godfather said to the undertaker, "I need all of your skills to make my son presentable to his mother." So please, cut your wrist let it bleed onto the paper in unique soulpatterns of mindthoughts drifting into brainfarts of spiritqueefs. More Inspiration From the Greatest Emerging Poet In America:
Just envision all the work we'd have to do Ben, to reach the formality that you so fear and crave. Isn't it more rewarding to throw loose collections of existential darts at each others pictures? Plus your blog sucks a truckers cum out of a hookers fat snatch. Only because its not up and running correctly. Lets not fall into despondency. Or depravity. Depravity is having other people define depravity for you.Yeah, he really said it. And that middle part? Is by far the least objectionable, vomit-inducing part of the post. Via Dan Riehl, who's been sending me far too many tips for my little moronbrain to read them all. Mindthoughts? Soulpatterns is a meaningless portmanteau, but at least it is non-redundant in its meaninglessness. In other words, there's no such thing as a soulpattern, ergo you're making up a new word when you say "soulpattern." Not a good, necessary, or useful word, but a new (pretentious, stupid, juvenile, needless) word. Now... mindthoughts, on the other hand. As opposed to... Toethoughts? Eyebrowthoughts? Pyloricvalvethoughts? Those-hammer-and-anvil-thingees-in-your-earthoughts? Greatest fucking emerging poet in America. Mind-expanding intellect. Are your minds expanded, y'all? Or should I say -- are your mindthoughts expanded? Elspeth, I need a pretentious, tasteless word-substitution for the word "eyes." Do you think "skulltesticles" sounds pretty good?
Comments
Posted by: Retired Geezer at July 27, 2007 03:37 AM (6B8K9)
Posted by: cranky-d at July 27, 2007 03:40 AM (pwZhA)
Posted by: cranky-d at July 27, 2007 03:52 AM (pwZhA)
Posted by: caelestis at July 27, 2007 04:20 AM (O8BeZ)
open a vein of soulpatterns and mindscapes
Elspeth, can I get rewrite?
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:29 AM (1UCRY)
Posted by: icus at July 27, 2007 04:29 AM (OTNlI)
america hates me for my mind-expanding intellect
Elspeth, how many t's in attrocitty?
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:30 AM (1UCRY)
says believe everything a soldier tells you
except the anbar awakening-- that's a neocon con.
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:32 AM (1UCRY)
unless they contradict your liberal politics.
then they're brianwashed psychopaths.
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:33 AM (1UCRY)
I guess not quite so absolute now that she's blaming the Democrats for the war, huh?
Suddenly absolute means "kinda-sorta."
Not a haiku. Just wondering how icus selects who to believe -- and when to believe them, and when to stop believing them.
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:34 AM (1UCRY)
murderous zombies programmed to hate.
don't question my patriotism. Book-deal me!
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:36 AM (1UCRY)
need morale-sabotaging "soldier" cunts
to say all the things they believe but are afraid to admit.
Posted by: ace at July 27, 2007 04:37 AM (1UCRY)
Posted by: caelestis at July 27, 2007 04:39 AM (O8BeZ)
Posted by: caelestis at July 27, 2007 04:43 AM (O8BeZ)
Posted by: kat-missouri at July 27, 2007 05:01 AM (io+Si)
Posted by: Sean M. at July 27, 2007 05:12 AM (XFqvL)
Posted by: Sean M. at July 27, 2007 05:18 AM (XFqvL)
Posted by: Sean M. at July 27, 2007 05:27 AM (XFqvL)
Totally unrelated stuff
Looks like Elspeth might have a myspace page herself.........
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=64400
I found it via a blog.........
http://subloviate.blogspot.com/2007/07/mrs-scott-beachamp.html
Also Elspeth worked for the Center for Public Intregrity before TNR, mucho leftwing site that George Soros and Barbara Streisand support.......
Again how far down the rabbit hole does this go??? I wonder.........
Posted by: caelestis at July 27, 2007 05:28 AM (O8BeZ)
Posted by: Sean M. at July 27, 2007 05:30 AM (XFqvL)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 05:33 AM (I+f+c)
Hey, this is easy! I'm the second-greatest emerging poet in america! Who knew?
Posted by: Tom W. at July 27, 2007 05:36 AM (CABb4)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 05:38 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 05:45 AM (I+f+c)
dogs trodden underfoot
I blame Bush
Come on! Isn't it obvious that it is Bush's fault?
Posted by: Tushar D at July 27, 2007 05:47 AM (9ULFg)
Posted by: genghis at July 27, 2007 05:47 AM (HwY1l)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 05:59 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 06:07 AM (I+f+c)
Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.
Posted by: TheSev at July 27, 2007 06:12 AM (bajTN)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 06:49 AM (I+f+c)
Skulltesticles! I love it!
I haven't laughed so hard at one of your posts since the bit about "Robin Hood, the famous bicycle ninja who robbed poor farmers."
If I ever forget, remind me never to piss you or Steve Emerson off.
Has anyone asked Elspeth for comment on her husband/fiance apparently admitting to sexually harrassing a battle-scarred female soldier? You know, if Scott and Elspeth are legally married, depending on their state's matrimonial property laws, Elspeth could share the cost of any monetary damages arising from Scott's potential civil liability to said female soldier, should she exist, have been harrassed as described, and choose to sue Scott for damages now that he has seemingly admitted to both sexual harrassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. I wonder if she has any concern whatsoever about such a law suit, or if she has a reason to know she need not be concerned (if the alleged incident never occurred, for instance)?
(Obligatory note: No portion of this comment should be construed as legal advice of any kind--especially any references to skulltesticles.)
Posted by: GD at July 27, 2007 06:55 AM (4ds4r)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 07:02 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 07:04 AM (I+f+c)
Upon further review, my previous comment, and certainly this one, should be considered "For Your Skulltesticles Only."
Posted by: GD at July 27, 2007 07:07 AM (4ds4r)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 07:18 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: sentinel at July 27, 2007 07:44 AM (0rYOi)
The New Republic
Ven'rable institution
Now run by children
Posted by: caspera at July 27, 2007 07:47 AM (iluXx)
Posted by: eman at July 27, 2007 07:51 AM (Tx90u)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 08:01 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: lukemcgook at July 27, 2007 08:12 AM (I+f+c)
Posted by: Andrew at July 27, 2007 08:17 AM (inVOq)
Posted by: Alamo at July 27, 2007 08:27 AM (Mqupr)
Posted by: icus at July 27, 2007 08:31 AM (OTNlI)
I am Hemingway.
And Dylan. And Fitzgerald.
All rolled into one.
Beauchamp's Pitiful Reality
Rejected again --
Will somebody please love me?
Christ, I hate you all!
Posted by: Phinn at July 27, 2007 08:32 AM (DiZv6)
Posted by: Tushar D at July 27, 2007 08:42 AM (IlgNp)
Posted by: Alamo at July 27, 2007 08:44 AM (Mqupr)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 08:44 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: Dave @ at July 27, 2007 08:58 AM (KxDI4)
My mindthoughts are a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of brainthoughts, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternativethoughts.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 09:05 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: T-web at July 27, 2007 09:05 AM (57znu)
Posted by: Dave @ at July 27, 2007 09:05 AM (KxDI4)
Posted by: carin at July 27, 2007 09:10 AM (tffWi)
Posted by: Dave @ at July 27, 2007 09:10 AM (KxDI4)
Posted by: T-web at July 27, 2007 09:13 AM (57znu)
Posted by: Rick at July 27, 2007 09:14 AM (73g6i)
Posted by: RojoLoco at July 27, 2007 09:15 AM (aot1k)
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 09:24 AM (moa9O)
The story is true, I was there. (29 of 30)
posted by buddyjimmy on 2007-07-24 12:00:06 document.write('[warn tnr]' ); [warn tnr] [respond]
I am an active duty soldier serving with the 335th Crossbow Division. Scott's brigade and I were on patrol when suddenly he swerved into my path to hit a dog, startling the Unicorn I was riding and nearly causing me to accidently discharge my blunderbuss. The Unicorn unleashed a torrent of abuse: "Bastard drives that thing like Bush runs the country, and the poor dogs are like the American people, especially after the Florida recount. I need a magic sugar cube to calm down." I reached into my suit of armor but, realizing that none were there, turned into a giant flying robot and headed back to base to resupply. More to come.
Posted by: Mike Z as in Jersey at July 27, 2007 09:29 AM (RiRew)
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 09:30 AM (moa9O)
Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at July 27, 2007 09:33 AM (XUDZ2)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 09:35 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: scarshapedstar at July 27, 2007 09:37 AM (Upxkw)
Posted by: Alamo at July 27, 2007 09:43 AM (Mqupr)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 09:44 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: Barbula at July 27, 2007 09:45 AM (zf6OM)
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 09:47 AM (moa9O)
Posted by: Alamo at July 27, 2007 09:49 AM (Mqupr)
Chutch is probably kicking himself:
"Dammit, I should have told that heckler he has no mindthoughts! It sounds so...Indian!"
Posted by: blooch at July 27, 2007 09:50 AM (0+69P)
"GASP" TNR: "What???
Someone set us up the bomb!"
Beau: "All your mindthoughts..."
Posted by: krakatoa at July 27, 2007 09:51 AM (n+ZaI)
Posted by: Alamo at July 27, 2007 09:51 AM (Mqupr)
Dark Cloud on Horizon Approaches Swiftly
cock swaggers and crows
but soon will be writing books
in Fort Leavenworth
ps. Dave in Texas, darn you with the Hedley Lamarr schtick! I wanted to do that!
Posted by: lauraw at July 27, 2007 09:51 AM (heMx8)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 09:52 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: lauraw at July 27, 2007 09:54 AM (heMx8)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 09:55 AM (/ytsL)
Baited Hook Floats Among Gullible Trout
TNR will buy
that soldiers are immoral thugs
they want it to be true
Posted by: lauraw at July 27, 2007 09:57 AM (heMx8)
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 10:00 AM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:00 AM (+BgNZ)
Is he the kind like
Kerry who ran under fire
Throws medals away
He will now have fame
Like Wilson brave and daring
Lefties will succor
Run for senate soon
Qualified in lefties eyes
With moral soap box
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 10:01 AM (moa9O)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:01 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:02 AM (+BgNZ)
I'll never forget going to Barnes & Noble late one Thursday night and encountering a poetry group having a little meeting there. I will most especially never forget the guy banging on the bongos and another twit screaming out some disjointed, and very very poor, poetry and strumming a badly out of tune guitar.
Evidently it was all about angst.
IMHO if I ever become the Emperor of the Earth these guys, and **mimes**, will be the first ones up against the wall.
Posted by: memomachine at July 27, 2007 10:02 AM (3pvQO)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:04 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:05 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:05 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:06 AM (+BgNZ)
Maybe he can start pronging a member of the editorial staff on some other leftoid rag and get another publication credit.
Huh-huh-huh. I said "member". And "staff"
Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at July 27, 2007 10:08 AM (XUDZ2)
darn you with the Hedley Lamarr schtick! I wanted to do that!
I could almost sense it. So I had to move fast.
soul patterns, mindthoughts
jumbledy mumbledy words
that don't mean jack shit
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 10:08 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:08 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:11 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 10:12 AM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: Insomniac at July 27, 2007 10:12 AM (UYKDB)
Mental Mindthoughts by Scottie Beauchamp
My mindthoughts went somewhat astray
While slaughtering schoolkids today...
Am I butch enough?
Gee, Elspeth was rough,
She said that ‘soulpattern’ sounds gay.
Gay? Elspeth the Bitch has some nerve
I’ll show her who’s gay, as I swerve
The Bradley to ram
A canine and WHAM!
Dog-murder is butch, I observe.
My mindvoice, as I drive along,
Says ‘Elspeth the Bitch, you were wrong.
I’m wearing a dead
Kid’s skull on my head
And singing my manly-man song.’
lyle
Posted by: lyle at July 27, 2007 10:16 AM (cvjyd)
Beauchamp never learned
'poetic license' is not
an excuse for lies
or for blood libels
investigate this phony
feel something now, Scott?
Posted by: lauraw at July 27, 2007 10:17 AM (0fO3K)
Posted by: a4g at July 27, 2007 10:17 AM (bfr28)
Posted by: Uncle Jefe at July 27, 2007 10:17 AM (iBgga)
Posted by: Rick at July 27, 2007 10:20 AM (73g6i)
Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at July 27, 2007 10:20 AM (JefgB)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:21 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: RiverCocytus at July 27, 2007 10:21 AM (d433o)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:23 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: RiverCocytus at July 27, 2007 10:25 AM (d433o)
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 10:26 AM (+BgNZ)
Unearthed another of Saddam's
Massgraves filled with children, how should I feel?
Time for a good skullfucking!
Posted by: Big E at July 27, 2007 10:31 AM (uw1/g)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:32 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: rinseandspit at July 27, 2007 10:36 AM (fsZu0)
Posted by: hit and run at July 27, 2007 10:37 AM (jjNS6)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:40 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: RojoLoco at July 27, 2007 10:44 AM (aot1k)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:46 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: Nice Deb at July 27, 2007 10:46 AM (EIQyC)
Posted by: RojoLoco at July 27, 2007 10:47 AM (aot1k)
Posted by: icus at July 27, 2007 10:48 AM (OTNlI)
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 10:48 AM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 10:50 AM (wF/xI)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 10:56 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 10:57 AM (moa9O)
Posted by: Swirling Soulpattern at July 27, 2007 10:57 AM (1V3V3)
Posted by: hit and run at July 27, 2007 11:01 AM (jjNS6)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 11:02 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 11:02 AM (/ytsL)
Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at July 27, 2007 11:09 AM (DYw/g)
Squash dogs, defile graves
laugh at disfigured woman
Then pass out bibles
Posted by: Nice Deb at July 27, 2007 11:09 AM (EIQyC)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 11:10 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at July 27, 2007 11:13 AM (DYw/g)
Big man reports "atrocities" in new republic
Fails to report to superiors
So outraged doesnt go up chain of command
Ball-less
Posted by: TMF at July 27, 2007 11:14 AM (+BgNZ)
Posted by: esoterica at July 27, 2007 11:15 AM (/ytsL)
Icus and his flapwings
Flies too close to the Sunstar
I know ... Icarus
Must tell the story
Typing with fingerdigits
Great wordsyllables.
Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at July 27, 2007 11:16 AM (JefgB)
Posted by: hit and run at July 27, 2007 11:20 AM (jjNS6)
Posted by: Nice Deb at July 27, 2007 11:21 AM (EIQyC)
William Kristol has an excellent article about the left's "support of our troops" regarding this Beauchamp. The last paragraph says it all:
Having turned against a war that some of them supported, the left is now turning against the troops they claim still to support. They sense that history is progressing away from them--that these soldiers, fighting courageously in a just cause, could still win the war, that they are proud of their service, and that they will be future leaders of this country. They are not "Shock Troops." They are our best and bravest, fighting for all of us against a brutal enemy in a difficult and frustrating war. They are the 9/11 generation. The left slanders them. We support them. More than that, we admire them.
--William Kristol
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at July 27, 2007 11:26 AM (OMP6l)
Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at July 27, 2007 11:32 AM (DYw/g)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 11:33 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at July 27, 2007 11:35 AM (DYw/g)
Posted by: Nice Deb at July 27, 2007 11:45 AM (EIQyC)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 11:47 AM (orlaQ)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at July 27, 2007 11:59 AM (OMP6l)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 12:04 PM (orlaQ)
Dhimmi bums.
Now, that's good. I love obscure references that only a few people will get. Know why? Because it makes me feel special. Like I'm clever--or should I say brilliant?--and everyone else is stupid. I like that feeling. In fact, I think I'll spend the rest of my life chasing that feeling.
Posted by: The Greatest Emerging Poet In America at July 27, 2007 12:04 PM (/dqEv)
Posted by: Swirling Soulpattern at July 27, 2007 12:07 PM (1V3V3)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 27, 2007 12:08 PM (pzen5)
sinistar,
So..is this like dual personalities? Cuz I was thinking about a dark side of RWS. Maybe "Bad Sparkle." What do ya think??? ;-)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at July 27, 2007 12:21 PM (OMP6l)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 12:22 PM (orlaQ)
Posted by: Rocketeer at July 27, 2007 12:25 PM (GFaLW)
Posted by: Rocketeer at July 27, 2007 12:29 PM (GFaLW)
Posted by: Okkam's Electirc at July 27, 2007 12:33 PM (bPOcw)
Posted by: Rocketeer at July 27, 2007 12:36 PM (GFaLW)
Posted by: goof at July 27, 2007 12:38 PM (UYEQ6)
Warrior Poet
Smarter Than My Lieutenant
Why Can't He See That?
Kneeling In Sewage
Changing Run Flat Tire Takes Time
Square Backed Glock Shells Fall
Brad Driver Gone Mad
Swerving Cuts Stray Dog In Half
T C's Boot Up Ass
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 12:40 PM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: jackcrow at July 27, 2007 12:40 PM (A65Fl)
Posted by: goof at July 27, 2007 12:41 PM (UYEQ6)
Posted by: goof at July 27, 2007 12:44 PM (UYEQ6)
Posted by: Rocketeer at July 27, 2007 12:48 PM (GFaLW)
Posted by: hit and run at July 27, 2007 12:48 PM (jjNS6)
T N R goes on.
But the joke was on me see.
as I cry alone.
Sarge yells at me more.
Why dig a hole and fill it?
Latrine doody stinks.
Posted by: 13times at July 27, 2007 12:52 PM (CTefb)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 12:53 PM (orlaQ)
Too much Scott...need more Bianca.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDCAQVe95WE&mode=related&search=
Posted by: Asher at July 27, 2007 12:56 PM (YMyoC)
Posted by: Kevin at July 27, 2007 12:59 PM (1cRKV)
Posted by: Tushar D at July 27, 2007 01:00 PM (IlgNp)
Posted by: No One of Consequence at July 27, 2007 01:09 PM (zrG3L)
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 01:09 PM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: Rocketeer at July 27, 2007 01:10 PM (GFaLW)
How sad! Young writer
Stuck in the damn motor pool
Fixing an oil leak
OR
His motivation?
Light treason pays better than
What a private makes
OR
Deranged stormtroopers
Who laugh most cruelly at dead
Dogs, burned contractors.
Posted by: The Colossus at July 27, 2007 01:10 PM (ivbbD)
With apologies to P.B. Shelley. Yeah, I know it's not haiku, but it had to be done:
"My name is Beauchampion, poet of poets:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that wrecked latrine, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Posted by: sherlock at July 27, 2007 01:12 PM (fKPuo)
From Wiki, symptoms of a psychopath:
1. Superficial charm and above average intelligence.
2. Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking.
3. Absence of nervousness or neurotic manifestations.
4. Unreliability.
5. Untruthfulness and insincerity.
6. Lack of remorse or shame.
7. Antisocial behavior without apparent compunction.
8. Poor judgment and failure to learn from experience.
9. Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love.
10. General poverty in major affective reactions.
11. Specific loss of insight.
12. Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations.
13. Fantastic and uninviting behavior with drink, and sometimes without.
14. Suicide threats rarely carried out.
15. Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated.
16. Failure to follow any life plan.
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 01:16 PM (oC8nQ)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 01:18 PM (wF/xI)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 01:22 PM (wF/xI)
Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at July 27, 2007 01:31 PM (w4Bx4)
Posted by: Bosk at July 27, 2007 01:34 PM (+aNmG)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 01:34 PM (wF/xI)
Posted by: Bosk at July 27, 2007 01:38 PM (+aNmG)
Posted by: Bosk at July 27, 2007 01:38 PM (+aNmG)
Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at July 27, 2007 01:39 PM (w4Bx4)
Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at July 27, 2007 01:40 PM (w4Bx4)
Posted by: See-Dubya at July 27, 2007 01:43 PM (Egj23)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 01:44 PM (wF/xI)
Posted by: Sarahw at July 27, 2007 01:47 PM (wF/xI)
White porcelain mindthoughts.
A shitpoop. Oh, stinkstench!
Creative ferment.
Why does that remind me of Maya Angelou?
Posted by: Entropy at July 27, 2007 01:48 PM (m6c4H)
Posted by: See-Dubya at July 27, 2007 01:50 PM (Egj23)
Posted by: See-Dubya at July 27, 2007 01:51 PM (Egj23)
Posted by: Entropy at July 27, 2007 01:52 PM (m6c4H)
I told the leftards fables.
It worked for Stephen!
My brief career shows
Again, it's not what you know,
but who that matters.
My fifteen minutes
Are nearly up. How do you
Spell "Fort Levenworth"?
Posted by: Brown Line at July 27, 2007 01:54 PM (50X/W)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 01:55 PM (orlaQ)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 01:57 PM (orlaQ)
Posted by: Brown Line at July 27, 2007 01:58 PM (50X/W)
Posted by: See-Dubya at July 27, 2007 01:58 PM (Egj23)
Posted by: See-Dubya at July 27, 2007 02:00 PM (Egj23)
Posted by: Beto Ochoa at July 27, 2007 02:00 PM (moa9O)
Posted by: sinistar at July 27, 2007 02:01 PM (orlaQ)
Posted by: Bosk at July 27, 2007 02:03 PM (+aNmG)
Michael Moore is fat.
Michael Moore is very fat.
Mike's fat. That is all.
Oh, this is supposed to be about Scott? My bad.
Posted by: Kevin at July 27, 2007 02:04 PM (1cRKV)
Posted by: Kevin at July 27, 2007 02:06 PM (1cRKV)
Posted by: windansea at July 27, 2007 02:07 PM (fglQK)
TRIKU:
how dare they question
my honor. i'm in iraq
serving my country.
killing innocents
and desecrating remains
is really hard work.
who shall play me in
the movie version? i hope
they get mark wahlberg.
Posted by: abw at July 27, 2007 02:12 PM (FJ/ua)
Posted by: solil at July 27, 2007 02:13 PM (WLzbK)
I don't usually participate, but:
Thick soulthought blood spills
Dark and thick on monitor;
Sun reveals shit.
Sorry. The rest of you, carry on.
Posted by: Dianna at July 27, 2007 02:19 PM (qrFCz)
Posted by: swirling soulpatterns at July 27, 2007 02:36 PM (1V3V3)
Posted by: BohicaTwentyTwo at July 27, 2007 02:55 PM (oC8nQ)
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Dale's ECB
Election Projection
Federal Review
Real Clear Politics
Rasmussen Reports
Gallup
Zogby
FoxNews Polls
Sabato/Crystal Ball
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)