Science: Purple Nurples May Cause Moobs

We called them Purple Nurples. You might have called them titty-twisters. Not only were they really painful and pretty gay, they might cause boys to grow breast tissue.

Dr. Oscar Escobar, of Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, recently treated two adolescent boys with breast enlargement, and there appeared to be a connection.
The boys were not related, but they came to the doctor with the same history: Both were involved in a popular, prankish game in which boys twist one another's nipples.
"I think that may have produced some mechanical triggering, or irritation, that can be implicated in the genesis of their gynecomastia," Escobar said. "Something like that can induce breast development, and it absolutely should be discouraged."
There are many causes for gynecomastia, the medical term for enlarged breast tissue in a man or boy.
The condition is characterized by excessive fat in the chest area, excess glandular tissue or a combination of the two. Typically, males with gynecomastia can feel or see a button- or disc-like growth beneath one or both nipples.

No word yet on whether Eric Cartman's "Rochambeau" game might spur penis growth.

Posted by: Ace at 07:05 PM

Comments

1 I will have to ask the wife to go easy with that...

OMG! Did I hit the Post button?

Posted by: Tushar D at July 16, 2007 07:09 PM (9ULFg)

2 Yeah, but does it work on girls?

Posted by: Iblis at July 16, 2007 07:11 PM (9221z)

2 Yeah, but does it work on girls?

After a lifetime of testing , sadly no .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at July 16, 2007 07:14 PM (3ApNq)

4 Maybe the kids who got more purple nurples or whatever you call them already had the spring buds of bitch tits, thus inviting said twisting. Did the scientists ever think of that?

Posted by: Paul T at July 16, 2007 07:14 PM (BsvTd)

5 I will instruct my son to knock out anyone who attempts this on him. His mother will protest the use of violence but I will explain to him, when we are alone, that it is better to risk punishment for fighting than risk growing breasts.

Posted by: Uniball at July 16, 2007 07:22 PM (27iEn)

6 Only time in school when one of my friends (yeah, believe it or not, he was my friend) tried to do this i reacted by swinging around and accidentally elbowing his accomplice in the face. Hard.

Curiously, no one ever tried it on me again.

Posted by: madne0 at July 16, 2007 07:28 PM (wFEYI)

I saw a thing that was linked on a politcal site about a year and a half ago where a hippy father, and his hippy wife decided to test out the concept of male lactation with their newborn daughter.

At the start the guy was basicly just a replacement pacifier, but he started to get little man boobs, and started lactating.

There was a vid of it when I found that link, and I am immortaly disturbed.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at July 16, 2007 07:28 PM (QTv8u)

8 Could it be that they're just fat? I mean, seriously, that's my excuse.

Posted by: Editor at July 16, 2007 07:33 PM (SJCkB)

9 They women who have not had a baby can breast feed by stimulating her breasts. So, does this also apply to men? I suspect that these kids were having their nipples yanked regularly and quite a few times.

Posted by: dave at July 16, 2007 07:39 PM (IOSPD)

10 Oh man, my buddy Russell must have a coupla great knockers by now!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 16, 2007 07:44 PM (FXakj)

11 That should read: They say women who . . .

Posted by: dave at July 16, 2007 07:53 PM (IOSPD)

Whew! No button- or disc-like growths on me.

I must just be fat, like Editor.

Prior to this info, I always blamed the pot.

I feel enlightened.

Posted by: TXMarko at July 16, 2007 08:19 PM (JF4tI)

13 Global warming caused my moobs.

Posted by: al gore at July 16, 2007 08:24 PM (zh9r4)

Yeah, titty twisters are gay.

Wedgies? Involves grabbing a guy’s underwear. = Gay.

Basically, any (legal) assault on another guy that isn’t punching or throwing him to the ground = gay.

Posted by: CJ at July 16, 2007 09:13 PM (9KqcB)

What about pantsing a guy during gym class in front of the chicks?

Is that gay?

Posted by: Entropy at July 16, 2007 09:21 PM (HgAV0)

16 Well, I guess that explains it. Them.

Posted by: km at July 16, 2007 09:24 PM (ZeIkZ)

What about pantsing a guy during gym class in front of the chicks? Is that gay?

Kind of ineffective AND gay. You're handling his pants (never a reason...gay) and you're letting him expose himself to females, which is embarrassing to a point, but…I don’t know, there are hundreds of alternatives that don’t involve grabbing a guy’s underwear.

Posted by: CJ at July 16, 2007 09:44 PM (9KqcB)

If titty twisters give guys big knockers, then every kid on our HS football team has DD's by now. One linemen (who stood like 6 3, 250 in high school) thought it was funny as shit. He was the only one.

Posted by: PHenry at July 16, 2007 10:18 PM (1HLK9)

19 Kind of ineffective AND gay. You're handling his pants (never a reason...gay) and you're letting him expose himself to females, which is embarrassing to a point, but…I don’t know, there are hundreds of alternatives that don’t involve grabbing a guy’s underwear.

Yep, and if you depants him, and he ends up have a larger cock than you...well, guess who's going to get all those girls' telephone numbers.

Posted by: cheshirecat at July 16, 2007 11:22 PM (CYDzL)

When I was football equipment manager (yeah, I know, gay) in HS a lineman tried it on me. I was 5'2, he was 6'3, and he had 100 lbs on me.

I ripped open his cheek with a Bic pen. He was lucky, I was going for his eye, but he flinched. He took a dozen stitches.

I wasn't equipment manager anymore, but he never tried it again.

Posted by: bombast at July 16, 2007 11:27 PM (LibFF)

21 "Rocheambeau"? WTF?

It is Ro-Sham-Bo...not some sort of French word...mein Gott!

Posted by: MunDane at July 16, 2007 11:43 PM (Meq0P)

Hahahaha, one of my enemies in eigth grade refused to fight me and threw things at me on the bus. I would offer him the fight that he already picked and he would bail. Ten years later everyone I know beat on or picked on the useless little fuck. (only 300,000 people in my town)

Titties are on fat kids and a pinch has nothing to do with it. It probably won't cause breast growth, but if you put your thumb under the first knuckle on your pointer finger and crush skin between the knuckles it will either draw blood or leave a bruise.

Posted by: mike at July 17, 2007 01:54 AM (/InkS)

23 ouch

Posted by: bour3 at July 17, 2007 02:32 AM (9YONe)

24 This sounds like a hoax to get gays to mess each other up

Posted by: Steve O at July 19, 2007 11:09 PM (I062Y)

No word yet on whether Eric Cartman's "Rochambeau" game might spur penis growth.

I've yanked on my penis enough to know that this is demonstrably false.

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