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Science: Italian Doctor Invents "New, More Natural Vagina"

I don't know; I thought the old version was still working out okay. So now there's going to be some big roll out for VaginaXP, and you just know the thing is going to be loaded with bugs for the next ten years...

But seriously, it's a big deal for those afflicted.

An Italian doctor has reconstructed vaginas for two women born with a rare congenital deformation, using their own cells to build vaginal tissue in the lab for the first time.

Dr. Cinzia Marchese of Rome's Policlinico Umberto I hospital, giving details of the operations on Wednesday, told Reuters a 28-year-old woman who underwent the first such operation a year ago now has a healthy vagina.

"She has got married and is living a normal life," said Marchese, whose study has been published in the journal Human Reproduction.

The second operation was carried out on a 17-year-old girl on Tuesday and the first signs are that the cells taken by biopsy from the area where her vagina should grow and provide mucosal tissue.

...

The two women had a condition called Mayer-Von Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome, or MRKHS for short, which affects an estimated one in 4,000 to 5,000 female infants.

Girls with the syndrome are born with no vagina. The patient often has a normal uterus, ovaries and external secondary sexual organs such as breasts, but cannot have sexual intercourse or give birth.

"Usually the syndrome is diagnosed when they are young and they try to have sexual intercourse for the first time and it hurts," said Marchese.

Wait, I think I might have that.

Thanks to Jim.


The Black Dahlia... incidentally had a not-fully-formed vagina, many say, which interfered in her relationships with men and, who knows, may have led to a sexually frustrated psychopath murdering her.

I don't know if she had the full syndrome mentioned in the article, but she had something along those lines.

Content warning, of course, on anything having to do with the Black Dahlia/Elizabeth Short murder.

Posted by: Ace at 04:20 PM



Comments

1 Anyway he could retrofit one of these onto a vacuum cleaner?

It's just an idea I've got.....

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at May 30, 2007 04:22 PM (KeOQp)

2 While they are doing that, if they could fix the smell.....

Posted by: Tushar D at May 30, 2007 04:23 PM (IlgNp)

3 "The only alternative to the surgery was for the women to live chaste lives or to limit their sexual encounters to posters at the Ace of Spades blog.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at May 30, 2007 04:30 PM (KeOQp)

4 The only alternative to the surgery was for the women to live chaste lives or to limit their sexual encounters to posters at the Ace of Spades blog.

Not much of a choice there. Most of us AoS commentators live chaste lives anyway, if involuntarily.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 30, 2007 04:33 PM (tVbxd)

5

I'm oddly arroused, yet still afraid... hmmm. He can't make brown ones, can he?

Posted by: Frankly at May 30, 2007 04:35 PM (Q8tsb)

6

The only alternative to the surgery was for the women to live chaste lives or to limit their sexual encounters to posters at the Ace of Spades blog.

Kaspar, do you work in the Department of Redundancy Department?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 30, 2007 04:36 PM (pzen5)

7 My new girlfriend is an OB-GYN,  you think you'd get tired of talking about this stuff after a while -- but nope, never get bored by the vajayjay.

Posted by: mesablue at May 30, 2007 04:37 PM (DzeyU)

8 Not much of a choice there. Most of us AoS commentators live chaste lives anyway, if involuntarily.

Not me buddy!  I got married.  So in my case it was voluntary!

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at May 30, 2007 04:37 PM (KeOQp)

9 Well if I remember my junior high amateur biology correctly, perhaps he can help those femals of Asian descent.  I understand their vaginas are slanted.

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 04:45 PM (QC96i)

10 I find the phrase mucosal tissue vaguely disquieting.

Posted by: Toby928 at May 30, 2007 04:45 PM (ATbKm)

11 Now if they could just do the same surgery on a man's left palm, no one would leave the house.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 30, 2007 04:46 PM (tVbxd)

12 Franken-cooter.

Posted by: OU_Gryphon at May 30, 2007 04:49 PM (HPU22)

13 Born without a vagina? Damn. I thought that girl I was hitting on the other night was just trying to give me the brush off when she said that she didn't have a vagina.

Well the jokes on her. If she had given me her number I could have called her with the good news. Sucker.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 30, 2007 04:56 PM (t+mja)

14

Had I known that by paying attention during science class at school I could learn the skillz to create my own vagina my life would be so different right now.

Posted by: Big E at May 30, 2007 04:59 PM (uw1/g)

15

Now if they could just do the same surgery on a man's left palm, no one would leave the house.

I always thought hermaphrodites had the best luck because when told to go fuck themselves, they literally could!  Of course, with my luck I'd be a gay hermaphrodite so I wouldn't really want to...

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 04:59 PM (QC96i)

16

I thought that girl I was hitting on the other night was just trying to give me the brush off when she said that she didn't have a vagina.

Umm...Jack, that <a href="http://adamtoeve.com/">wasn't really a woman</a>.  I hate to burst your fantasy there bud.

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 05:01 PM (QC96i)

17

In related news, the going rate for tranny hookers is about to triple.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 30, 2007 05:01 PM (plsiE)

18

http://adamtoeve.com/

Damn link didn't work in previous post.

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 05:02 PM (QC96i)

19 Thanks, John. I'm gonna go throw up now. Back later.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 30, 2007 05:04 PM (t+mja)

20 LOL!  Always check the Adam's Apple and the wrists, Jack.  That's not 100%, but usually is effective.

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 05:10 PM (QC96i)

21 John, have you ever accidentally encountered a woman?

Posted by: mesablue at May 30, 2007 05:12 PM (DzeyU)

22

John, have you ever accidentally encountered a woman?

I'm not sure.  I think it was female...

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 05:16 PM (QC96i)

23 You forgot to mention Flappy, the Official Mascot Of Artificial Italian Vaginas.

Posted by: TallDave at May 30, 2007 05:23 PM (odS+4)

24

In a world where everything Ace posts is being watched closely by the Pandagoons...

 

he's not afraid to post about the vagina!

 

 

p.s. lolz @ John

 

Posted by: movie trailer voice guy at May 30, 2007 05:23 PM (UVoCe)

25 Dunno about helping women with a defect, or other such charitable angle. I think he just wanted to make an artificial vagina.

Posted by: exdem13 at May 30, 2007 06:17 PM (I4jEf)

26

Lesbian #1: "Tastes great!"
Lesbian #2: "Less filling!!"
Lesbian #1: "Tastes great!"
Lesbian #2: "Less filling!!"
Lesbian #1: "Tastes great!"
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Posted by: Snake Plissken at May 30, 2007 06:22 PM (M5yOh)

27 Mayer-Von Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome

So like, it took four guys to get a consensus? Must be that beta male thingy.

Posted by: looselips at May 30, 2007 06:28 PM (uaWKk)

28

I think theres a broadway musical in here somewhere.

"I Did it, Sammy, I did it! I perfected the artificial vagina!"

(Sammy looks amazed. He stands up as the lights dim and the spot light illuminates Dr. Veejay)

"Get me the operator, Sammy. We're putin' this out all across the wires!"

(Music swells)

"Somewhere a little girl is crying. The little lass was born with half a glaaaaas! Well you can bet that help is on the waaay, her boyfriend won't have to fuck her up the asssss!

Oh Vagina! Vagina! We love ya, vagina!"

(Dancers enter stage left. Mucosal mural backdrop lowers down)

 

 

 

Posted by: Max Power at May 30, 2007 06:33 PM (q177U)

29 I think he just wanted to make an artificial vagina.

Well heck, it better be a damn good one cause the market is flooded with those of the synthetic, rubbery latex kind (vibrating feature optional).

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 06:49 PM (QC96i)

30

I think theres a broadway musical in here somewhere.

Oh now there's a thought:  Ace's own version of the Vagina Monologue.  I'm thinking pirates, Vikings and trannies will somehow be involved...

Posted by: John at May 30, 2007 06:51 PM (QC96i)

31

 I'm thinking pirates

Pirates are like MSG, they make everything better. Now combine that with artificial vaginas and hobos and you, my friend, have the recepie for TNT!

Posted by: Max Power at May 30, 2007 07:15 PM (q177U)

32 I'm thinking pirates

Little man in the boat boarding parties

Posted by: just thinking out loud at May 30, 2007 08:12 PM (ATbKm)

33

Speaking of pirates- how long before someone comes out with knockoff desingna vaginas.

Posted by: captkidney at May 30, 2007 08:51 PM (cb2+E)

34 Do these artificial vajayjays come in packs of 12?  'Cause I can easily eat that many in a single seating.

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35 women. if they didnt have cunts you'd throw rocks at 'em.

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