To Fight Global Warming, Belgium Imposes Tax On... Barbeque

First, they came the dry rubs, and I did nothing, because I prefer to marinade. Then, they came for the propane gas, but still I did nothing, because I have a flame pit. And then...

The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia,

hojogioehhhbnlkjjndk.

Sorry, that was my jaw hitting the keyboard.

... which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.

Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.

The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills.

It's a good thing that Belgium's entire helicopter fleet is now fueled by starshine and sugar-plums, or else this anti-carbon initiative might be somewhat counterproductive.

Thanks to CAD Daddy.

Posted by: Ace at 03:01 PM



Comments

1 Hah! Let's see the flemmings start barbecuing in their garages now while the helicopters drive around wasting gas.

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 03:05 PM (m6c4H)

2 hojogioehhhbnlkjjndk.
From D to L? That's a man's jaw.

Posted by: harrison at April 03, 2007 03:05 PM (e+AaJ)

3 Let's see the flemmings start barbecuing in their garages ...
With the proportional increases in suffocation deaths.

Posted by: harrison at April 03, 2007 03:07 PM (e+AaJ)

4 You can't parody this stuff. I mean, you could try, but you'd just be giving them ideas.

Posted by: carin at April 03, 2007 03:08 PM (eW9ty)

5 But I thought cow emissions were a major source of green house gasses. Doesn't killing them (sorry Tushar) and cooking them up cut pollution in the long run?

Posted by: Drew at April 03, 2007 03:08 PM (gNyUT)

6 Luckily ive equipped my Webber with cloaking technology, so unless the Scandies hit my patio with a tachyon burst i should be ok.

Posted by: Amish is Defiant at April 03, 2007 03:09 PM (OEbrS)

7 TheGlobal Warming lemmings are just your garden variety busybody control freak assholes, only with the power of bigger States behind them.
The Left is infested with them.

Posted by: lauraw at April 03, 2007 03:11 PM (ObM50)

8 I want my babyback babyback babyback...

Posted by: R. O'Donnell at April 03, 2007 03:12 PM (JefgB)

9 How completely fucking retarded.

Posted by: perc at April 03, 2007 03:13 PM (RLwfH)

10 Just try pass’en that tax in TEXAS…Annie get you tongs.

Posted by: Paladin at April 03, 2007 03:15 PM (2X4q0)

11 Wait a second ... the report is complaining about 50 to 100 grams of carbon dioxide? That's somewhere between 1.5 and three ounces. I put out about that much just breathing!

I assume that the government of Wallonia (which is located near Freedonia and Sylvania) will next monitor breathing via helicopters. No doubt to napalm and strafe anyone who's spewing more than his allotted ration of greenhouse gases into Mother Gaia's pristine atmosphere.

Posted by: Brown Line at April 03, 2007 03:19 PM (mnTqB)

12 I put out about that much just breathing!
We know Brown Line. You think the 'death tax' is bad? You ain't seen nothin' yet! Just make sure your airtax is paid in full or the audit is gonna take your breath away.
- Walloon Taxing Authority We're From the Government and We Mean to Hurt You.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at April 03, 2007 03:23 PM (O9Cc8)

13 Now that SCOTUS says the EPA can make regs on CO2, I hope Nancy doesn't get any ideas from these eurotools. That would be an excellent way to start a civil war. I'm pretty sure that the right to Q is protected in the Texas constitution.

Posted by: stace at April 03, 2007 03:27 PM (A56/D)

14 Remember when ol' Crazy Al was so involved with the amount of water a toilet flushes?

Like, 'member that?

I wonder if Al's toilets are all of the highly efficient variety.

I bet he has barbeques, after all, he is a famer, a tabacky farmer cuz he sugged it, poked it, prodded it and did all that stuff.

A man's man.

Posted by: benrand at April 03, 2007 03:28 PM (4ez9L)

15 That's nothing. Out here in Wyoming, we have lots of cows that fart, causing massive global warming and eventually the death of all life on this planet. So ranchers have to get a fart permit and pay a tax. If they don't, we have jumbo jets cruising the skies at all time. If the jets spot an unlicensed herd, they drop a load of coal and set it on fire, lighting a beacon for law enforcement authorities to drive out in their SUVs and slaughter the cattle to they can rot.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at April 03, 2007 03:29 PM (w4Bx4)

16 This will be law in california by years end.

Posted by: bmac at April 03, 2007 03:29 PM (WUw1Z)

17 By buying those helicopters the Belgian government shows it is a bought and paid for by the starshine and sugraplums lobby. Despite the proven safety and affordability of moonbeams and unicorn farts technology, the SS/SP lobby continues its campaign of taking away consumer choice. When will it end?


Posted by: Glen at April 03, 2007 03:29 PM (qMPc5)

18 Drew, for the Jillionth time... I have no problem with people eating cows. I have heard they are quite tasty. I just don't want to eat them myself. My religion is personal to me. I don't go around imposing it on others, like some religion of peace. I may even join you for a barbecue, as long as you also have some chicken/fish/pork available.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 03:31 PM (m1bmI)

19 Can these Euros get any more silly? This would have been good material for a Monty Python skit a generation ago, and now it's for real! When the sandies start cutting the throats ofthese pseudofrogsin their own streets, it's gonna be hard for me to get terribly worked up about it.

Posted by: Sticky B at April 03, 2007 03:31 PM (+ywV+)

20 Wait...they bar-b-q in Belgium? WTF?

Posted by: Iblis at April 03, 2007 03:37 PM (9221z)

21 From D to L? That's a man's jaw.
Child's play.

Posted by: Roy "Rocky" Dennis at April 03, 2007 03:39 PM (2ZXBs)

22 Remember when ol' Crazy Al was so involved with the amount of water a toilet flushes?Like, 'member that?
Yes I fucking remember that! Bunch of stinky nitwits pooping in bags and throwing them in the backyard with the garden hose on to create a natural wetland (which the government then gets immediate regulatory control of).
All I know is, my toilet does not work for shit (literally). It gets clogged constantly.
And don't even ask me about that time I tried to flush that box of shitty "Original" chicken in a biscuit crackers down it.
Mother fucker. T'weren't no bigger then a damn Koran! GODDAMN NEWSWEEK!

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 03:40 PM (m6c4H)

23 Tushar,

I didn't realize it was a sensitive topic.

My guess is the People's Republic of NY is busy instituting this type of scheme as we speak, so you can come over for the barbecue as soon as I get my permit.



Posted by: Drew at April 03, 2007 03:40 PM (gNyUT)

24 I bet Gitmo must have the old toilets. The ones that worked.

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 03:41 PM (m6c4H)

25 I have no problem with people eating cows. I have heard they are quite tasty. I just don't want to eat them myself.

What about leather? Do you wear it? Have you ever tried beef? It tastes alot like chicken. Can you eat/wear: Buffalo? Ox? Or, are they all in the taboo bovine family?

Posted by: Red at April 03, 2007 03:49 PM (JsdWA)

26 It's a couple days late, but that has got to be an April Fool's story.

Posted by: Alex at April 03, 2007 03:49 PM (fgyj8)

27 TOP 5 FAVORITE BBQ'd FOODS OF BELGIUM

5) Pulled Speculoos

4) Hickory Smoked Stoemp

3) Dry Rubbed Endive

2) Smoky Phlegm

1) Chocolate-covered Charcoal

Posted by: rinseandspit at April 03, 2007 03:50 PM (AOEPL)

28 I believe muslims grill alot in europe. I predict riots.

Posted by: Red at April 03, 2007 03:50 PM (JsdWA)

29
I believe muslims grill alot in europe. I predict riots.

Do they have to buy protest carbon offsets for all the burning cars?

Posted by: Drew at April 03, 2007 03:53 PM (gNyUT)

30 Crap! They're charging 20 euros per grilling session ($26).

This has me seriously steamed, but now I have the rest of my day mapped out: Take a hunk of venison out the freezer. Get the charcoal and wood chips ready. Bring my kid home from school. Go to the gun store and purchase some ammo. A glass of wine, or two. Make the fire, and cook the meat.

Those are soothing activities.

Posted by: stace at April 03, 2007 03:54 PM (A56/D)

31 The Daily Mail ran a story like this as well, which they've since pulled.
April fool.

The measures, which have been approved by the Climate Change Unit of the Department of Environment, Fisheries and Rural Affairs, are likely to severely curtail the number of barbecues Britons enjoy this summer.

Councils will approve barbecues only if the householder has bought a so-called carbon offset.
These should cost no more than £5 each and will allow sufficient barbecuing - as long as the cook is proficient - to create 20 steaks, or 40 if you like them rare.

Posted by: mesablue at April 03, 2007 03:56 PM (DzeyU)

32 I don't care if you present me with an original signed copy of the law and videotape of it being passed. I simplyrefuse to believe this is true- the logic circuits of my brain simply will not accept it, no matter what the evidence.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 03, 2007 03:58 PM (plsiE)

33 Why do you people insist on making this a partisan issue?
I hate fascism...
but this type of fascism is a type of governmental control I like.

Posted by: seattle socialist at April 03, 2007 04:01 PM (+eEr/)

34 Well, if it's not true, it's one of those hoaxes that "bespeaks a reality", as the lefties like to say.

Posted by: stace at April 03, 2007 04:06 PM (A56/D)

35 I left out the best parts:

Councils will appoint barbecue inspectors who will have the power to enter residents’ gardens and check whether any charcoal has been burnt.
The smell of burning, the remains of cooked burgers or a charred kebab stick will all be sufficient for them to apply on-the-spot fines of up to £50.


A spokesman for BQ said they were looking at producing new ‘green’ barbecues to cut down CO2 emissions.
One idea is to harness the warmth created by rotting compost, but these would require a chef to start cooking days in advance.
So-called ‘friction barbecues’ powered by a guest on a stationary exercise bike are also being examined.

Posted by: mesablue at April 03, 2007 04:06 PM (DzeyU)

36 >>I didn't realize it was a sensitive topic.
Drew, you are not getting it. It is NOT a sensitive topic. I am perplexed that everyone thinks I am (or ought to be) offended at any discussion involving eating cows.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:07 PM (m1bmI)

37 >>What about leather? Do you wear it? Have you ever tried beef? It tastes alot like chicken. Can you eat/wear: Buffalo? Ox? Or, are they all in the taboo bovine family?
I do wear leather. I know, there is a logical conflict there. I have not given it serious thought.
I have never tried beef. Ox and cow are the same animal with different gender. So it is off limits too.
I don't know about buffalo. Do people eat a buffalo? I am willing to try. But I want to try venisson first.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:12 PM (m1bmI)

38 Tushar,

I was joking the first time (I didn't think you would be offended). Either way, let's move on.

What do you think Mike Gravel would do about this BBQ tax?

Posted by: Drew at April 03, 2007 04:17 PM (gNyUT)

39 Come up to the farm sometime and we'll do you up a swordfish steak that will make you forget cows even exist.

Posted by: Bryan at April 03, 2007 04:18 PM (FAgoX)

40 Does cooking a pig in the ground count? Oh, yeah, and all the accomponying beer farts? I am The King of Global Warming. (and beer farts). It's good to be me.

Posted by: FishFearMe at April 03, 2007 04:19 PM (s3gta)

41 Should I be upset that my hash is apparently "Fag Ox?"

Posted by: Bryan at April 03, 2007 04:20 PM (4eLhB)

42 I guess that mosquito trap I was considering buying this summer is right out, huh?

Posted by: wiserbud at April 03, 2007 04:20 PM (1tlBF)

43 Fag Ox! Heh!

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:23 PM (m1bmI)

44 I am perplexed that everyone thinks I am (or ought to be) offended at any discussion involving eating cows.
I am offended that you are not offended.
You just took the joy out of my life.

Posted by: mesablue at April 03, 2007 04:27 PM (DzeyU)

45 >>You just took the joy out of my life.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:27 PM (m1bmI)

46 >>Either way, let's move on.
No worries, Drew. All my outrage was of the Liberal variety - manufactured and fake!

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:29 PM (m1bmI)

47 Alternatively, if you burn a cow to BBQ your meat, isn't that a natural offset?

Posted by: mesablue at April 03, 2007 04:29 PM (DzeyU)

48 Whew.. good thing I made my BBQ grill out of a jet helicopter engine.

Posted by: Tom at April 03, 2007 04:31 PM (43ahd)

49 Tushar,
The buffalo I have had is good stuff, I am not so fond of venison, too strong. We have been getting 20# Blackfin Tuna around here. Beats Swordfish any day. It is so much different than canned tuna, more like steak, and no cow guilt!

Posted by: Vmaximus at April 03, 2007 04:34 PM (vwV2e)

50 Forget CO2, global warming, Iran...robinUC has it all figured out. If only someone would listen. Cool art work too.

Posted by: splashtc at April 03, 2007 04:36 PM (zlay8)

51 Tushar D,

Well bowled sir, well bowled.

Posted by: Drew at April 03, 2007 04:38 PM (gNyUT)

52 Tushar - I seldom eat beef anymore because buffalo is lower in calories, lower in fat, has a wonderful flavor and is very tender. (If you're cooking it, cook it at a lower temperature than beef and use moisture retaining cooking methods, like searing, because it can get a bit dry.)

Which gives me an idea -- I'm going to fire up the bbq and grill us some buffalo steaks for dinner.

Posted by: LA Haze at April 03, 2007 04:41 PM (Ukz7E)

53 WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

What next? Going back and fining churches for witch-burnings in the Dark Ages?

Posted by: Laurence Simon at April 03, 2007 04:42 PM (lcKyC)

54 Just yesterday Alton Brown called Tuna the other Red meat. I must try the real Tuna someday. The canned tuna crap is alright for a quick sandwich, but a big Tuna Steak would be lovely. Also, I am going to find out where can I buy Buffalo meat in New Jersey.

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:47 PM (m1bmI)

55 European BBQ.



Pikers.

Posted by: A. Hitler at April 03, 2007 04:51 PM (JefgB)

56 Found it!

http://www.njbison.com/index.html

Posted by: Tushar D at April 03, 2007 04:53 PM (m1bmI)

57 Is April Fools Day on April 3 in Belgium? Rest assured that the vast majority of Belgos are just laughing at the Walloons.


Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at April 03, 2007 05:00 PM (YLTUp)

58 I put out about that much just breathing!
Good point. Imagine how much those hippie joggers (or is it a soft j ? yoggers, whatever) contribute to the great Global Warming - have you ever seen how much they huff and puff? Why, I myslef must be damn close to carbon neutral simply by the fact that I sit on my lazy ass all day expending as little energy as possible.
Tushar - just make sure you're not getting Beefalo (yes it's real). They have actually crossbred cows buffalo, I think for fat/flavor.

Posted by: Frankly at April 03, 2007 05:05 PM (Q8tsb)

59 I am not so fond of venison, too strong.
Depends on where it comes from and how it's buchered and prepared. Where I hunt they're all corn and soybean fed, and we butcher them ourselves to make sure no tallow or bone fragments that lead to a "gamey" taste remain in the meat. I've yet to encounter anyone who's tried my venison not like it- including people who previously said they didn't care for venison.
Now if you hunt somewhere where the deer eat acorns, tree bark and other crap, then bring it to a butcher who mangles it with a bone saw, yeah- it's not going to be so good.
Buffalo is good too, but I'll take a marinaded venison steak over just about anything else.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 03, 2007 05:13 PM (plsiE)

60 Th EU lives in a area of the world where they must tax everything, and thengive a equal tax credit. Makes them feel good, and they can sneer down there nose at the rest of the world. They are allkind of hillbilly French, and I did not know you had to BBQ snails, I thought you just put them under your arm pitintill they were med well. The French tried the same thing with bath soap, and Lady BIC Razors ,but they went into the red on the program. Master is pissed with the EU, for trying to build a hell on earth whenhe have somuchspace reservedfor them down below.

Posted by: The Great Satans Sr, Intern at April 03, 2007 05:43 PM (b7bF3)

61 Entropy,
Flemmings barbecue? I thought they just ran off cliffs>

Posted by: Freetime at April 03, 2007 05:44 PM (6yp97)

62 They have buffalo burgers on the menu in the cafeteria where I work. These burgershave kind of a tangy aftertaste of which I'm not a big fan. It's not bad at all, just not my favorite.
I might have to grill up a steak tonight in silent protest of this very silly law.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 03, 2007 06:19 PM (jvG2F)

63 a big Tuna Steak would be lovely

It is indeed lovely. Not cheap, though.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at April 03, 2007 06:44 PM (gDNGv)

64 Fish is for fags. Wait. No it's not. Er, nevermind. Anyway,...

The canned tuna crap is alright for a quick sandwich
I'd like it more if more than just one out of every ten cans would be good. It seems like 90% of the cans I open are half mush. Only once in a while do I open a can to nice, firm chunky white meat.
(No offense, Tushar, on the white meat comment.)

Posted by: Bart at April 03, 2007 06:58 PM (+eEr/)

65 Have you ever tried beef? It tastes alot like chicken
WTF? Stop lying to the brown people you bastard, beef tastes nothing like chicken at all.

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 07:00 PM (HgAV0)

66 "I don't know about buffalo. Do people eat a buffalo?"

Buffalo (bison) is tasty - even if Ted Turner raises 'em. But it has a lot less fat than beef, so you have to cook it carefully, or it turns into shoeleather.

Hollowpoint, your venison sounds great.So, where do you live? And when do we eat? I'll bring the beer!

Posted by: Brown Line at April 03, 2007 07:13 PM (mnTqB)

67 Rabbit is good. Rabbit is some of the best meat around.
The only Ox I've had is ox tail stew, which was basically beef. Very tender though. Tails are tender, cheeks are very tender, and the neckmeat is very tender as well. Good places on most animals to eat. Also liver, but only on the young immature animals. On an adult it is garbage.
Pheasant is not bad. Duck is excellent.
Aligator kinda sucks but it's edible. Ditto snake.
Venison is basically tough, gamey beef. A bit better flavor but too tough and too gamey.
And it makes a big difference whether or not you eat a male or a female. The females test better. The testosterone and various otherhormonestaste bad.
That's why, if your gonna eat males, it's better they have the balls cut off before puberty like capons. But obviously that's only with farmed animals.

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 07:42 PM (HgAV0)

68 The taco stand I use to eat at got closed down by the health department for serving alley cats.
But they were damn good tacos. They looked funny though, the meat had a metallic green tint to it that was allways suspicious.
But it was damn good. Very tender. And never any grissle. And I don't really like cats anyway. So I'd still eat there if they hadn't closed it down.
If I ever go to Japan or something I'll eat some cat.

Posted by: Entropy at April 03, 2007 07:46 PM (HgAV0)

69 I have a aquired taste for the "Five Fingers Of Death" MRE meal the troops gave the deep six, Hot Dogs with a after life!!. Got to love them, with a C-Ration Choc. bar, a protype of the Frisbie, I am a happy camper if I can wash it all down with flat 3.2 beer. I just wish they still put the small packs of Chesterfields in the field rations. The Cs dated 1945 to 1950 are vintage finger food, and allways a crowd pleaser.

Posted by: The Great Satans Sr, Intern at April 03, 2007 07:58 PM (b7bF3)

70 What gets me is ... do they not understand that helicopter patrols pollute more than barbecues? Does this somehow elude them?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 03, 2007 08:04 PM (wmgz8)

71 Seriously, this has got to be a April Fools joke.

Posted by: Xoxotl at April 03, 2007 08:07 PM (F/ysA)

72 Master said theHillbilly French could BBQ all they want down under,Master has no problem with the charcoal smell, andand anytax duehas allready been paid for them, by the guilt ridden Germans.

Posted by: The Great Satans Sr, Intern at April 03, 2007 08:10 PM (b7bF3)

73 What are you so stunned about? I don't have the data handy, but I'm pretty sure that second hand bar-b-que smoke is the leading killer of Europeans.

Posted by: Kevin at April 03, 2007 08:14 PM (/ndDU)

74 What gets me is ... do they not understand that helicopter patrols pollute more than barbecues? Does this somehow elude them?
Oh you silly American pig-dogs will never understand the sophisticated Euro mind.
Listen to me, and perhaps some of this will soak into your thick New World skull:
<b>People are now <i>paying a tax</i> to cook meat with fire. For the first time in human history!</b>
We Europeans are brilliant innovators. Suck it, beetchess.
Also, they are paying the taxes that pay for the helicopter and the helicopter's fuel.
So it's all good, see?

Posted by: Snooty Euroturd at April 03, 2007 09:20 PM (DbybK)

75 Furthermore, since cooking indoors in the Summertime creates unpleasant heat in the home, some people will be tempted to place a hotplate upon some cinderblocks in their garden, and cook their food there while the weather is warm.
To the government, this is an 'outdoor kitchen,' i.e., an extension of the home, and it too will be taxed.
You think of cooking food with fire as an elemental aspect of being human? Stupid monkey!
Ho ho ho NO! In our brave new vision of the world, only the rich will be able to afford to cook food with fire.

Posted by: Snooty Euroturd at April 03, 2007 10:04 PM (DbybK)

76 I would stick a mirror in my least favorite neighbor's back yard so that the copter would read it as a heat source and thereby fine the shit out of him for having a bbq going. Genius, no?

Posted by: Sticky B at April 03, 2007 11:36 PM (wkjFE)

77 And it makes a big difference whether or not you eat a male or a female. The females [taste] better.

Speaking as a hetero-man, I can agree with that!

Posted by: cheshirecat at April 03, 2007 11:56 PM (YGcPR)

78 'Cause that's the way he rolls.

Posted by: cheshirecat at April 04, 2007 12:11 AM (YGcPR)






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