Time For Me To Quit

Smoking, I mean.

I quit three years ago for a full year, and then, in a move I still can't explain, decided to start again. Just to do it.

I am totally wigged out right now with withdrawal. And I didn't even totally quit. But I've only had a couple of smokes, and then a lot of Nicorette.

Anyway... my patience for trolls is limited.

Where's that "mikie"? A banning might help settle the nerves.

Posted by: Ace at 06:37 PM



Comments

1 Might help with your sleep problem, too. Try some exercise and more veggies.

Posted by: Your Mom at November 15, 2006 06:39 PM (DYj/s)

2
Where's that "mikie"? A banning might help settle the nerves.

A verbal beating would be better and more satisfying.


Posted by: Mr Minority at November 15, 2006 06:41 PM (W9sky)

3 Sorry, Ace. We were all kind of cranky and he was especially stupid, so we took turns beating on him till he disappeared. Didn't know you'd need a banning fix.

But, if he's like every other troll, his short term memory will dissipate and he'll be back as if it's his first visit.

Posted by: geoff at November 15, 2006 06:41 PM (2d9Ny)

4 Uh, this is the guy who rather see a movie he hates for the fourth time then get his ass of his couch.

Posted by: at November 15, 2006 06:42 PM (L4JTS)

5 I know how you feel.

February of next year will be my 10th anniversary since I quit smoking. Doesn't seem that long ago.

I couldn't do cold turkey. Just got too sick. I weaned myself off. That is, I first decided no smoking in the car, then no smoking before I went to work, etc... Till I was down to my favorite smoke of the day...the one right after dinner. I still remember my last smoke too....

It's really worth it. I miss it and I tell everyone I will take it up again if I live to be 85. LOL.

But you will save a helluva lot of money, so look forward to treating yourself with something you've wanted for a long time when you finally break the habit.

Good luck!

Posted by: Lady Heather at November 15, 2006 06:43 PM (DtICy)

6 My birthday is in a week and a half and I have decided that I'm done with the cigarettes starting the next day. No more smoking. I quit for 6 months once, then received a call telling me that my company had been bought by a group that I knew were just going to destroy us and the good life we had. I bought a pack and started up again that day. Sadly, I wasn't wrong about the result of the acquisition either.

So, new job and now (hopefully) a new smoke-free life. Now if I could just convince my wife to stop with me.

Posted by: wiserbud at November 15, 2006 06:48 PM (56ssE)

7 Good for you. It can't hurt.

Posted by: See-Dub at November 15, 2006 06:48 PM (rqWtg)

8 I concur that ridiculing mickie is far more satisfying than banning him/her/it.

As someone who's been banned, it's not that bad.

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 06:48 PM (CTqCo)

9 Good! Quit you wimps. More cigarettes for me.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 15, 2006 06:49 PM (t+mja)

10 quit cold turkey years ago. THough looking back, the introduction of significant amounts of opiods at the exact same time cushioned that withdrawal.

I love major surgery.

Posted by: hobgoblin at November 15, 2006 06:52 PM (p1s9n)

11 Is it Mikey, or Mickie?

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 15, 2006 06:54 PM (j2y/0)

12 I'm currently on day 16 since my last smoke. the most recent time I quit I lasted 5 months before starting again (got fired anyways, alas). Once addicted, always addicted - its a matter of will power Ace.

Posted by: blogRot at November 15, 2006 06:56 PM (EKMxC)

13 Glad to hear you're quiting....probably the single most important way to improve your health.

Posted by: Dadis McGradis at November 15, 2006 06:56 PM (mpdS/)

14 Get outta here you filthy black-lung!!

Posted by: z ryan at November 15, 2006 06:56 PM (zqgUK)

15 Mickie. I went back and checked the Nuke thread. But isn't there a Mikey troll, too?

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 15, 2006 06:57 PM (j2y/0)

16 Good! Quit you wimps. More cigarettes for me.

Ha! I'm with you JackStraw.

Pussyfied slap sisters puffing on their Virginia Slims make the rest of us look bad anyway.

Go ahead and quit smoking. You'll have more time for your quilting bees and petting your furry little kitties.

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 06:57 PM (CTqCo)

17 Go for it! It's been more than 5 years for me now, after smoking a pack and a half or more a day for nearly 26 years. More than a quarter million smokes and it seemed like nowhere near enough when it finally came time to bite the bullet. Just hold on tight and chew all the gum you want for as long as you want. Try to go ahead and make the break with the cigs though. You can count up all the ones you don't smoke with a meter from this place here: http://www.silkquit.org/sqmmiv/meter.aspx

Here's my count: Five years, three months, three weeks, two days, 1 hour, 55 minutes and 44 seconds. 54350 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,163.27. Life saved: 26 weeks, 6 days, 17 hours, 10 minutes.

Hadn't looked at that thing in a long time. Where the hell did I put that $5,163.77??? Hey, that was smoking the dirt cheap ones in a low tobacco tax state, too. (Life saved more or less counts up the actual minutes you would have spent with a cig in hand/mouth.)

Good luck! It gets easier and easier.

Posted by: lindav at November 15, 2006 06:59 PM (duu0M)

18 Ace, this is exactly what you need to quit smoking. Every time you need a smoke, just look at this for 2 min., all your cravings will disappear.





What the hell.... been smoking for 32 years, why stop now.

Posted by: A. Weasel at November 15, 2006 06:59 PM (YB3pk)

19 Who let Nice Deb in?

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 06:59 PM (CTqCo)

20 I've been an ex-smoker for 8 or 9 years. I quit cold turkey and have never craved one since. Of course I had three or four other raging drug addictions going on at the time so I pretty much just kind of forgot I was a smoker.

So I guess my advice to you Ace is to take up binge drinking, smoking pot, popping pills and snorting cocaine. Then when you quit smoking you won't feel like you're missing anything. Not to mention the fact that it will get you out of the house more often, if you even have a home (maybe you can even get kicked out of your apartment and live in a 1985 Pymouth Horizon for a while, good times Ace, good times).

Posted by: Big E at November 15, 2006 07:01 PM (uw1/g)

21 My aunt's father served on Iwo Jima when he was 20 years old. After he lost his hearing to a grenade, he faught on the front lines and went first for the Jap tunnels. He took up smoking on that island and quit years after the war was over.

He told me, "Anyone who can't quit smoking cold turkey is a pansy! You just stop."

Life lessons from a WWII vet.

Posted by: z ryan at November 15, 2006 07:01 PM (zqgUK)

22 Yeah Ace more money for ammo. Easy does it!

Posted by: sonnyspats1 at November 15, 2006 07:01 PM (O+V6m)

23 I quit cold turkey the minute I learned that Peter Jennings died. Can't really say why--he wasn't the first person I knew of to die of lung cancer. For some reason I heard that and thought, "I'm done."

I put on 30lbs like nobody's business, but I feel better than I have in years.

Posted by: Doug F at November 15, 2006 07:04 PM (Dv0tm)

24 Pussyfied slap sisters puffing on their Virginia Slims make the rest of us look bad anyway. Go ahead and quit smoking. You'll have more time for your quilting bees and petting your furry little kitties.
Spoken like a true lesbian.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 15, 2006 07:04 PM (j2y/0)

25 I have recently tried to quit. The last time, I got so agitated I thought about going to the mall so I could fight people. I thought better of it.
Plus, after chemo 3 years ago, I don't take any drugs unless my life depends on it. So no zyban or whatever the hell it is.
That's my fear of quitting- that without the calming effect of nicotine, I become Mr Hyde.

Posted by: Barry at November 15, 2006 07:05 PM (kKjaJ)

26 Ace, I strongly recommend that nicotine gum. It turns out the gum is hard to quit too, but it breaks the anxiety in two, making it much easier overall. I quit two months ago. Now if I could just stop chewing this gum...

Posted by: Kevin at November 15, 2006 07:06 PM (i2YG7)

27 Quitting is easy - I've done it _lots_ of times.

I'm just passed the 3 month mark on my latest attempt.
Good luck to you, man. Stay out of places where others are smoking.

Drink lots of water - helps flush the body. Keeps your hands busy too, since you will be peeing a lot

Posted by: Timothy S. Carlson at November 15, 2006 07:06 PM (uV/vg)

28 Back when I was in college, I was one of the dorm's heavier smokers (pack a day). They bet me I couldn't quit for an entire quarter. 3rd quarter 1976. But I did it. I felt better, could take a deep breath without coughing, and my lungs were clear. Then school was over for the summer, I went home, and the first thing I did was light up.

Dumbest thing I ever did.

I quit for good in 1980. 20 cigarettes on day 1, 3 on day 2, then cold turkey on day 3. Haven't smoked since.

Best thing I ever did.

(actually, marrying my wife was the best thing I ever did, but quitting smoking is second)

Do it ace, you'll be glad you did. Believe me.

Posted by: OregonMuse at November 15, 2006 07:07 PM (PsGnn)

29 I've never smoked but I think it must be tough to stop.
I can't believe how much cigarettes cost.Yikes.Ace, I'd imagine the Nicorette costs more than the cigarettes.Good Luck.Maybe you should look into starting that book club you mentioned in the spring.Maybe that would take your mind off smoking for a while.Or you could go find pictures of Rosey O Donnell, that would do it too.

Posted by: RoyalOak at November 15, 2006 07:08 PM (LLYjv)

30 Ban two trolls and call me in the morning.

Posted by: Doc Wheezier at November 15, 2006 07:10 PM (YB3pk)

31 I quit in January 1986. I had severe bronchitis, and the doctor said I had a choice: I could quit, or I could die - my call. So, I quit. I didn't hurt that the Bears were steamrolling their way through the playoffs that month - that gave me an excuse to drink unconscionably large amounts of beer, which helped me get over the hump.

That was 21 years ago, and I still miss cigarettes. Especially after a really good meal, or ... other pleasures. Once Demon Nicotine has its talons in your flesh, it never, ever lets go.

But quitting is still the right thing to do. Food tastes better, your health is better (assuming you don't binge drink or eat to stifle your cravings), no more smokers' cough, your clothes and your apartment won't reek of stale cigarette smoke, you'll have some extra cash in your pocket, and you could be significantly extending your lifespan. Just think of the trolls you'll be able to bash in all those extra years of life!

Posted by: Andrew Jackson at November 15, 2006 07:11 PM (VrNoa)

32 Nice Deb,

Be nice or I'll start posting here as you.

Posted by: Rosetta-ManNotLesbian at November 15, 2006 07:12 PM (CTqCo)

33 Best of luck, Ace. I'm not so lucky, Mark Twain's famous qoute applies to me all too well. That and I get all jittery and pissed off.

As for banning Mickie (one of Mike's many aliases, I believe) I say do it. Ban him! Ban the sumbitch! If it makes you feel better, ban that motherfucker and then write an obituary you wouldn't even wish on your own worst enemy! MAKE THE MOTHERFUCKER PAY!

Or let him stay and belittle him. Either way would be entertaining.

I need a smoke.

Posted by: ErikW at November 15, 2006 07:13 PM (SLkM0)

34 To help you get unwigged, how about a few smoking jokes?

Q: Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?
A: He was up to two packs a day.

Posted by: RoyalOak at November 15, 2006 07:13 PM (LLYjv)

35 Some people use Zyban to quit, I hear it works really well. No more cravings but if you drink it makes you sick.

Posted by: mike at November 15, 2006 07:14 PM (CDn52)

36 You wanna know how I quit, Ace? I got utterly--heroically--drunk one night, and smoked a pack and half minimum. You can't pansy-ass it on the drinking either. Aim for falling-down, hambeast-groping drunk, my friend. You have to ensure that you will have a MASSIVE hangover the next day, and that your skin will stink of smoke. That's the best way, I think, to get it out of your system: put yourself in such a condition that you are filled with a deep-seated revulsion for cigarettes.

Or, you know, be a pussy and get some Nicorette. I think my way is a bit more fun though.

Posted by: El Miguel at November 15, 2006 07:14 PM (0QRUf)

37 I'm just past 5 years of quitting cigarettes. Now I smoke cigars. You can't inhale them babies or you'll be green. Gum is good, chewing on short pieces of drinking straws is excellent.

And don't forget about Jesus. He'll help, he's everywhere. Even on the butt of this guy's dog.
See for yourself:

www.getbehindjesus.net

Can't Nancy Pelosi just, like, wrinkle her nose and help you too?

Posted by: Gunslinger at November 15, 2006 07:15 PM (x0jT7)

38 Don't let anybody kid you, ace.

You look suave when you smoke.

Suave.

Like Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, McLean Stephenson, and Jude Law rolled up into one.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at November 15, 2006 07:16 PM (dTi2n)

39 Be nice or I'll start posting here as you.
Meanie.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 15, 2006 07:17 PM (j2y/0)

40 Dude, no shit....Zyban worked for me.

Well, until I started back.

Twice.

But that's besides the point.

I don't know what it is about the pill, because in any other manner, I didn't feel any different.

But you know that whole thing you go through when the "habit triggers" kick in? That strong pulling feeling you get in your chest that makes you go near insane in wanting a cigarette right after a meal? Or just got in the car? Or a really cool song comes on the radio?

Gone.

It turns into more of:

"I want a cigarette."

followed by...

"Oh, that's right. I dont' smoke anymore."

And that's it.

No more flying into a frenzy, kicking the dog then picking him up, turning him over, and putting his penis in your mouth. None of that.

Crazy how that stuff worked for me.

The best part is Zyban is the sexy brand-name version of the drug marketed as a smoking-cessation product, and W e llbutrin is the same thing but marketed as an anti-depressant. So if you wanna be a Liberal about it, you can go to your doctor and tell them you "might be a little depressed", take their one-page "depression test" that you can fail at will, and get prescribed W e llbutrin that your prescription coverage will foot.

Even if not, the Zyban is only $90/month (cheaper than a pack a day).

Posted by: L-Fed at November 15, 2006 07:18 PM (vm9Cy)

41 Gunslinger, thats great.Tell me though, what was that person doing staring at his dogs butt? And how long did he stare?

Posted by: RoyalOak at November 15, 2006 07:18 PM (LLYjv)

42 For me, the worst part about quitting (each time) was....the nightmares.
I'd dream I'd fallen off the wagon and started smoking, or that one magically appeared in my hand, or that I was being "forced" to break my smokefast by nefarious powers, or that various temptations (insertfantasy of choice here)were presented to me if I'd just light one up. The list of variations is endless.
It was horrible beyond belief. Most nights I'd wake up at least once in a cold sweat or yelling.
I still smoke. I quit quitting. And sleep like a baby.


Posted by: Apostate_Fritter at November 15, 2006 07:18 PM (41Dd+)

43 It's been over six years now for me and I hardly ever even think about smoking now. Good luck with the gum, I went with the patch myself and it really did help.

Posted by: Enas Yorl at November 15, 2006 07:20 PM (4Au3T)

44 Sister Agnes Dolarita made me a two other boys eat cigarettes in front of the 2nd grade class. I believe we each were forced to eat two soaked in water. We had been caught smoking behind the school. We got really sick.
This might be a stop smoking method. You just need a Nun
with rulers that looks like the one in the Blues Brothers movie.
I have a strong aversion to the smell of cigs to this day.

Posted by: NortonPete at November 15, 2006 07:21 PM (fVuwW)

45 Go Ace!

I quit (again) four years ago with the help of an anti-axiety drug (that I can't name because my post will be rejected). Worked well for me.

Tom

Posted by: Tom at November 15, 2006 07:22 PM (prlUT)

46 You're gonna laugh but I quit using the low intensity laser therapy. Kind of like acupuncture but with a laser thingee.

I laughed too, until two people who were heavier smokers than I quit after like two treatments.

Worked for me too.

Still miss my little white friends though. If I make it to 85 like somebody else said, I'm gonna take em up again too.

Posted by: AFKAF at November 15, 2006 07:23 PM (DXjVU)

47 All you quitters. My way is much more fun.

Posted by: El Miguel at November 15, 2006 07:27 PM (0QRUf)

48 I have no mouth, yet I must smoke.

Posted by: Harlan Ellison at November 15, 2006 07:28 PM (dTi2n)

49 I am sure you are getting advice up the ass and around the corner, but from my personal experience there is only one way to quit. Cold Turkey. Full Stop. It sucks donkey C*ck but it is the fastest and best way to detox. Patches and "cutting back" just give you a lot more opportunity to fail.

Posted by: sockpuppet in training at November 15, 2006 07:29 PM (JQFcC)

50 Also try a lot of negative reinforcement. Think of ashtrays and Italian grandmothers. Worked for me.

Posted by: sockpuppet in training at November 15, 2006 07:30 PM (JQFcC)

51 Mr. ace: take a look at the amount of nicotine delivered by a piece of nicorette. it's more than in an entire pack of cigarettes (just about)! you may be actually increasing your body's expectation of nicotine and the addiction mechanism, rather than gradually reducing the drug. it will prolong and make more difficult quiting once and for all. go cold turkey, exercise, and a change of diet.

my theory is that it's more difficult to quit the second time. the first time, all of you confaculties are focused. now, some part of your mind is no doubt saying to itself,hey, we already did that quiting thing.there isn't the same focus.

good luck!

Posted by: mcmorris at November 15, 2006 07:37 PM (MHBBA)

52 Is this like "quitting" blogging a la Garfield Dave? You'll be back at it with the rest of us within 24 hours.

Posted by: kevlarchick at November 15, 2006 07:40 PM (otuOL)

53 Yeah, I can feel your pain, Ace. I tried to quit smokin' too. Smokin' pole!
But I just can't help myself!

Posted by: ryan at November 15, 2006 07:41 PM (oN7XZ)

54 Nice Deb,

I was just kidding earlier. I like picking on you for some reason.

I would never comment as you on the lesbian forum although I have left a few comments there as wickedpooter.

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 07:41 PM (CTqCo)

55 Now that I'm gone, I tell you don't smoke."

Posted by: Yul Bryner at November 15, 2006 07:42 PM (dTi2n)

56 Quitters never win.

I don't know what smoking wins you exactly, but by god me and my Marlborros are gonna win it.

And I have a sneaking suspision what you win by smoking is not being hit by bus.

Cuz come on.

You know it.

You quit smoking to improve your health, a week later you will get hit by a bus. And your last dying thoughts will be "God f'n damnit I need a cigarette"

At least I'll go out satisfied.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 07:43 PM (Uh5fR)

57 Also, so many people that I don't like want me to quit smoking I just can't give them the satisifaction.

Fuck you whiners, I'm lighting up.

Shove your www.thetruth.com up your arsehole. I'll give myself lung cancer to spite you morons.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 07:46 PM (Uh5fR)

58 Longest I ever quit was for about a week 2 years ago. I was a junior in college and was interning in DC for the fall semester. A few of the girls in my program were also smokers and we decided to quit together. I was the last one to relapse after a week of hell. The worst part was that the first cigarette I had when I started again was a Newport.

Posted by: Shivv at November 15, 2006 07:47 PM (O+3a0)

59 I wonder how Jim Webb stopped smoking?

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 07:48 PM (CTqCo)

60 I quit smoking 3 years ago. All the gum and patches did was prolong my misery. I had several vices and that was the most damaging one so it had to go.

Once the physical withdrawal ends, and it does end, it's all mental.

And that's all discipline.

Good luck.

Posted by: Foxy Wizard at November 15, 2006 07:48 PM (rgDma)

61 Keep at it, Ace. It took Zyban AND the patch for me to finally quit.

The first time I tried the patch it did'nt work. Couldn't keep the damn things lit.

I would have smoked in my sleep, if I could have got someone to hold the damn things for me. I was totally nicotine-free until a houseboat trip with a bunch of chain-smoking germans, where I started chewing the gum, and smoking cigars.

It's been about four years and I still chew the damn gum, so beware trading one nicotine for another.

Still better than ciggy's tho. It's so nice to keep the car windows closed in the rain...

Posted by: Gromulin at November 15, 2006 07:50 PM (RzpGy)

62 Entropy brings up a good point. Even before I started smoking I hated those Truth commercials. I kinda hope the people who make those die in a fire.

Posted by: Shivv at November 15, 2006 07:50 PM (O+3a0)

63 Very gay to use a la.

Very gay.

You'll never catch me using a la in a sentence.

It's so gay, it should be the new word for gay.

Dude, you're so a la

Those pants are a la.

Posted by: Bart at November 15, 2006 07:52 PM (qs4oX)

64 "I was a junior in college and was interning in DC for the fall semester. "

I remember you. Nice ass but too old for me.

Posted by: Mark Foley at November 15, 2006 07:54 PM (t+mja)

65 The hard part will be not lighting up when you find a pack on a dead hobo. Maybe you should just not check their pockets.

Posted by: Michael at November 15, 2006 07:55 PM (G8PCF)

66 I've been wanting to quit, but my problem is I enjoy smoking!

I know several people that have quit but chewing Nicorette, and now are hooked on the gum. But that is better than smoking.

Posted by: Mr Minority at November 15, 2006 07:56 PM (gwfvN)

67 It's so gay, it should be the new word for gay.
Dude, you're so a la
Those pants are a la.

The amusing thing about this is going to be when it catches on and people start pronouncing it out loud, and allahpundit (not to mention a billion muslims) figgure out you've made them the new word for gay.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 08:00 PM (Uh5fR)

68 I quit for year after following my Dr.'s advice, which was to stop buying the cigarettes you like.

Buy off brand cheapies and you will automatically cut back, and then when youíre down to about half of what you used to smoke, quit.

The patches gave me nightmares, but the gum helped with some of the craving.

My first trip back into a smoky bar room for a beer had me right back on cigarettes that day. The good ones, too.

Posted by: Pupster at November 15, 2006 08:02 PM (9h6vV)

69 Ahhhh....Fresh air!

Thanks Nancy!

Posted by: Your Lungs at November 15, 2006 08:07 PM (DYj/s)

70 I used to smoke 15 a day, many years ago. I was on 1 cigarette a day for last 5 years, and now stopped that too. Two easy rule: avoid smoking alone, and try to postpone your first smoke of the day as much as easily possible. Also, never buy more than one pack at a time.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 08:13 PM (9ULFg)

71 Ace, I'm here to say that Zyban is what you need, it is indeed the magic pill & makes quitting a million times easier than going cold turkey or w/ the patch.

It totally takes away the cravings, which is the biggest part of smoking again.

Take it as part of a smoking cessation program via your HMO or equivelant, it's worth it, and noone gives a shit if you're the only person in the group who hasn't been told by their dr. to "quit smoking now or you'll die"

If you don't do the program here are the key bits from the program you need to do:
A) smoke normally for 3 days, but keep a log of each cigarette u smoke. Make a note of the time, your mood, what you were doing, & how strong the urge is.
-- you'll notice that only 2 or 3 cigs per day have a strong urge ... waking up, after eating, etc. you'll see that most are marked "bored" or "was about that time". The key lesson is that you didn't really have an urge to smoke 90% of the cigs u were smoking, and when u get the urge while quitting, it's easier to dismiss it with this knowledge. plus, w/ Zyban, you don't even get the urge.

Also note that the patch you buy at the store is total crap compared to the patch your HMO will presribe to you. Store patches irritate the sh*t out of my skin, but the prescription one was different.

All in all, I took Zyban for 3 1/2 weeks, wore the patch for 1 week, & haven't smoked for 3 years now. I can smoke the occasional cigar or hookah w/out relapsing into total cancer stick addiction, which I must admit to having done in the past.

Do it through a smoking cessation program... the combination of Zyban, the patch, program excercises, & the psychology of not wanting to be the only one in the group to show up for the meeting who cheated on their smoking all come together to make quitting much easier than the old "I'll stop buying packs, but will instead bum one from each person who I know to be a smoker" method.

Talk to your Doctor About Zyban today!

Posted by: d00d at November 15, 2006 08:14 PM (o6eES)

72
For some reason I am not surprized that this site is frequented by smokers/ex-smokers.

Posted by: Mr Minority at November 15, 2006 08:15 PM (gwfvN)

73 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Posted by: Steve McCrosky at November 15, 2006 08:15 PM (mpdt4)

74 It's been over a year since I quit smoking. Being a non-smoker makes me extremely happy.

I tried nicotine gum, but it didn't work out well for me. I think it's because it's an active process, which reinforces the addiction. The patch was very helpful, though. I just couldn't go cold turkey and still be productive and pleasant at work.

In the past, I had quit a few times, and restarted again. You have to quit for good, which isn't one big decision, but thousands of little ones. It's all a big pain in the ass, really. Addiction sucks.

Posted by: sandy burger at November 15, 2006 08:16 PM (K2rlS)

75 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Steve, I heard huffing paint out of a paper bag will help you kick the glue habit.

Posted by: Mr Minority at November 15, 2006 08:17 PM (gwfvN)

76 About Zyban...it is the same as Wellb_trin, and you can scam your doc into providing it under "mild depression". It does more than calm the nerves in regards to nicotine.

If I remember right, it blocks the receptor for nicotine in your brain. You take it for a couple weeks, while still puffing away, and as it takes effect, you get less of the rush of say, the morning's first smoke. It sort of de-tunes your brain to the chemical reation. The low-mg patch made up for the rest of the addiction while you changes physical habits.

It works.

Posted by: Gromulin at November 15, 2006 08:18 PM (RzpGy)

77 My Dad tried to quit and failed many times. Then something happened that did the trick. He started coughing up blood. Worked like a charm. Good luck.

Or you could try rubbing the cigarette on your balls before you light it up. That's BEFORE you light it up!

Posted by: eman at November 15, 2006 08:20 PM (FWrFx)

78 I quit smoking about three years ago. Hang in there, Ace. The first week or two is always the hardest part. I'd recommend just going cold turkey, though and just getting over with it rather than slowly prolonging the withdrawal with nicotine chewing gum.

Go for walks as often as you can (in the opposite direction of the nearest convenience store). Sleep as much as you can.

Posted by: MikeZ at November 15, 2006 08:20 PM (c5sWc)

79 I quit Monday, had my last cigarette at 5:25am. Similarly, I quit several years ago and was off them for 2 years and started again for no good reason.

Wife and I both quit. She had surgery Monday for a cancerous tumor in her mouth and the Docs said 'aint gonna be no more smokin'. So we quit.

I'm using 21mg patches, backed up by gum when I'm so desperate I'd lick an ashtray. What snuck up on me this time was the habit part, how much of my life revolved around stopped what I was doing at regular intervals to fool with smoking. I'm fine nicotine wise, if anything I'm loaded up more than normal.

I keep stopping for the smoke break I don't take anymore though.

Posted by: Dwilkers at November 15, 2006 08:22 PM (/9Qop)

80 Good luck.

I'm reminded of what my brother in law told me. "Any sumbitch can quit smoking. It takes a real man to face lung cancer".

Or my boss, "All of us have cancer cells inside our bodies, waiting to do something. And you and I do things that piss em off".

That's right. I'm all about exhortation.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at November 15, 2006 08:22 PM (hNyWr)

81 yah...if you haven't gotten cancer yet, you just haven't lived long enough.

If nothing else kills you, sooner or later you will get it. Everything causes it.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 08:25 PM (Uh5fR)

82 Although I suppose you could say that about anything.

If you were quasi-immortal and could only be killed by contracting Ebola virus, eventually you'll get Ebola. It's just a question of time.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 08:26 PM (Uh5fR)

83 Ace,

Once you think you've quit and you're 2 or 3 months smoke-free, do not, I say, DO NOT think you can "just have one" when you're out at a bar because you've broken the fucker's back. You never break its back. You beat it silly, choke it out, and deball it, but never break its back. Out here in California, it's been much easier to resist the temptation since nobody fucking smokes (cigarettes) out here anymore (ironic given that I started because it looked cool in Hollywood). But I still sneak a few every now and then, and I'll be damned if they don't taste delicious.

Do not think you can have even one to reward yourself for quitting. You'll be right back where you started.

Posted by: Stop_Whining at November 15, 2006 08:28 PM (nqpjs)

84 Congrats and good luck, Ace!

Posted by: marykatharine at November 15, 2006 08:28 PM (UPDYD)

85 Best way to quit - worked for me after 17 years of smoking -
1. Add up how much excess money you have every monthy.
2. Add up how much you spend on cigarettes.
3. Add them together and buy a new car with a note 10% higher than that amount.
4. When you want to smoke, get in the car, get a good whiff of that "new car" smell and drive around for a while until the craving passes.

Posted by: Laura at November 15, 2006 08:33 PM (CMj+O)

86 Do IT! Don't wait untill you are 50 and try cold turkey, it rarely works, and it is real hell then. It has been a rocky 11 months, instead of patches or gum, I get my nicotine from nasal snuff. I have the fiddling with the hands, and after a shot of Gletscher Prise, I can do the deep breathing and feel the menthol clearing my head. I go through equivilant of two cigarettes a month in snuff so I feel it is an acceptible vice now.

It took almost a month for me to feel normal at the mini-mart NOT grabbing a pack with my morning coffee... Good luck, Lady Nicotine is a real dirty fighter, she doesn't enjoy losing. Kick her Hard and stomp her when she's down


Nosmo

Posted by: Nosmo at November 15, 2006 08:33 PM (FsIge)

87 Here's some suggestions on how to quit.
You must commit to the resolution that you cannot ever have another smoke. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. That "one more that won't hurt"? You've already had it, and there isn't another.

When you're going through withdrawl symptoms, don't think about how much you want a smoke -- think about the reasons why your quitting, and how good it will be when you are free of the addiction (<yoda>focus your mind!</yoda>.

Break your smoking habits. Stop hanging around with other smokers. If you're in the habit of going to bars other places where people smoke, you're going to have to stop.

If you do relapse, get back on the wagon.

Posted by: Space of aides at November 15, 2006 08:34 PM (l5TIc)

88 Just move here:
http://www.smdailyjournal.com/article_preview.php?id=66988

Posted by: abovethefold at November 15, 2006 08:35 PM (DaXZ6)

89 That is a total chick way to quick to smoking.

That makes me chuckle.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 08:35 PM (Uh5fR)

90 It's about frakkin' time some other poor sucker joined me in this misery. I'm on my 3rd day now Ace and let me tell you it only gets worse. Dumbass effin'... Oh but then there are the REALLY bad days. And another thing, why the hell are all the world's most stoopid people coming out of the woodwork right now? It's a frakkin' conspiracy. They know I quit. Bastards.

Posted by: John at November 15, 2006 08:35 PM (tROri)

91 I have to set a date for it as well. It's getting old telling customers that I just have a touch of bronchitis.

Posted by: Tom M at November 15, 2006 08:37 PM (TtaDz)

92 I quit. Worst goddamned ten years of my life. And I quit nine and a half years ago.

Cold turkey; only way to go. That, and booze. You really can substitute one vice for another, so choose well.

I'm glad I quit. I guess. Whatever. Woohoo.

Posted by: S. Weasel at November 15, 2006 08:38 PM (MecJo)

93 You should just power through like 5 packs in the next 24 hours at the end of which, you will feel like shit and totally disgusted with yourself. That is the point at which quitting will take. Drag deep on the self loathing and shame of being a filthy, smelly, hacking, smoking piece of shit.

Of course, you have to have some amount of self respect right off the bat for any of this to make an impact. Only you can answer that.

Posted by: Froggy at November 15, 2006 08:38 PM (E1hup)

94 Hang tough Ace!

Posted by: Sinistar at November 15, 2006 08:40 PM (fzmgK)

95 I'm going to evolve into a being of pure cancer who will be able to survive in the toxic atmosphere of the future after we've polluted it all with smog and carcinogens and poison.

I will laugh at you silly oxygen breathers and breath deeply and cough the cough of a man who has survived the apocalypse and developed lungs that breath burning carbon monoxide and cyanide and convert it into o2.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 08:41 PM (Uh5fR)

96 I plan on quitting after New Years. and before I catch any grief, the reasons I pick New Years are:

1) Trying to quit over the holidays, with the family being smokers, would just lead to failure

2) As of Jan 1, the tax on a pack will go up $1.00

Good reasons eh?

Posted by: Mr Minority at November 15, 2006 08:41 PM (gwfvN)

97 If you hurry up and quit, you'll have just enough time to put on the 70 lbs, you keep losing and gaining, before NYE. :-)

Posted by: at November 15, 2006 08:42 PM (L4JTS)

98 I tried to quit cold and couldn't cut it. After day three, I bought a cigar. For a year, I allowed myself one little cigar a day, sometimes every other day. I just never allowed myself to buy cigarettes.

Unfortunately, about six months ago, I discovered these little cigars that look just like cigarettes. I smoke four and a half of those a day, so I'm needing to ween myself again.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at November 15, 2006 08:43 PM (KHo5y)

99 Quitting smoking is no harder than changing any other habits. Nicotine is not addictive. It is all a Big Lie to cover the smoker's lack of willpower.

Posted by: Phillip Morris, Inc. at November 15, 2006 08:44 PM (nqpjs)

100 That's it. I'm flickin' boogers at Phillip Morris. Get ready for some black-lung loogies, pal.

Posted by: John at November 15, 2006 08:49 PM (tROri)

101 Commit lozenges, baby! 'Nuff said ...

Posted by: Stephen at November 15, 2006 08:51 PM (7uhx5)

102 check it out, somebody finally broke the old record for most rattlesnakes in his mouth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX8nKFnFKLA

it's very brief at the begininng of the clip

Posted by: mike at November 15, 2006 08:52 PM (CDn52)

103 Shit, I thought I had problems. At least I don't smoke. As a smoker you are even more contemptable than I am. You should quit, it can really ruin your health and makes your mouth taste like an ashtray.

Posted by: Osama bin Laden at November 15, 2006 08:53 PM (+GRGs)

104 Ace: I did used to hit the sheeka pipe a bit. I found it easier to quit by killing Jews and Kaffirs and marrying 12 year old virgins. That really took the edge off.

Posted by: Osama bin Laden at November 15, 2006 08:55 PM (+GRGs)

105 Stopped on June 6, 2001 after smoking for more than 30 years. Doctor prescribed the W-bruttin (can't spell it) and told me to take it for a couple of weeks and then pick a day. I'm reminded every year on the anniversary of D-Day.
Now I hate the smell of cigarettes like you wouldn't believe. You can do it and it gets easier as time goes by. Quitting sure beats the emphesema or lung cancer thing -- they really suck while quitting smoking doesn't have near as much suckage.
Who knows, maybe Mary Katharine will smooch the non-smoking Ace? Now, there's some incentive.

Posted by: cranky at November 15, 2006 08:59 PM (Xj2Ev)

106 Have you considered a nicotine anal suppository?

Posted by: TurkeyLurkey at November 15, 2006 09:07 PM (adi1C)

107 So we findly find out the true motive for the rage of radical islamists.

Makes sense, actually. Can't beleive no one has considered that before.

Anyway, I smoke cowboy killers, Marlborro reds.

I use to smoke Camel unfiltered for a while but I had to stop because I liked them too much. I'd chain smoke them..couldn't stop...got up to like 2 and half packs a day. I can't smoke those things I just suck em down.

Bidis (i think that's how it's spelled) are real good too. They look like joints though so you may get hassled. They're indian cigarettes or something, with flavored tobacco that literally drips with nicotine, rolled in a dried eucalyptis leaf.

Good smoke.

The little cigars, like Swisher Sweets (I think I spelled that wrong) I like...but I stay away from cigars because I just inhale them. I don't get any satisfaction from puffing.

That really ain't good. Don't want to get started on that.

I used to dip Kodiac too but I quit that.

But ya know what? Screw it. Everybody dies. You gotta enjoy life while you're alive.

Posted by: Entropy at November 15, 2006 09:09 PM (Uh5fR)

108 Entropy, don't give anybody ideas about bidis. You might as well cut your throat that smoke those fucking little Sticks of Satan.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:20 PM (9ULFg)

109 Put them down April 1 this year (patch) ,fourth time I've quit for more than six months , hopefully the last. The insanity only lasted a few weeks . The only advice I would give is don't smoke while using "cessation products", good luck!

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 15, 2006 09:20 PM (Je+mw)

110 Entropy, you are the most negative, soul sucking black hole of an individual that I have ever met. Way to kick an Ace when he's down. Bastard.

That being said, if you can find one, the Acid Kuba Kuba cigars are the shit diggity.

Posted by: ErikW at November 15, 2006 09:21 PM (SLkM0)

111 Oh Bidis are not tobacco rolled in eucalyptus. They are pure tobacco leaves rolled loosely.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:21 PM (9ULFg)

112 old habits die hard.

my guess is that ace is going to be sitting at some bar, having a drink, and he'll start pretending he's holding a cigarette and, absent-mindedly, he'll start blowing smoke rings, then *bam* some dude is going to flip himself over and jam his penis in ace's mouth.

that's a risk I'm willing to have ace take.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at November 15, 2006 09:27 PM (dTi2n)

113 The patch, dude. THE PATCH!

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at November 15, 2006 09:28 PM (Pt3Le)

114 There's a Stephen King short story about an agency that helps you quit smoking -- with guaranteed results. What they do is hold one of your loved ones hostage and start amputating parts if they catch you smoking.

Maybe something like that would be to ace's liking -- except he doesn't have any loved ones.

Posted by: OregonMuse at November 15, 2006 09:29 PM (u74yY)

115 I'd rather die than quit smoking, which is convenient.

Posted by: Andrew at November 15, 2006 09:30 PM (2jsNU)

116 Hang in there with that, Ace... you can do it.

And treat yourself to banning mickie while you're at it.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at November 15, 2006 09:34 PM (mVDzw)

117 I chewed snuff for 14 years. 3 years ago, after about seven serious attempts, I finally kicked the habit. When I quit I was going through one can of Copenhagen a day at $4.35 a pop.
Funny thing is, the reason I quit was completely mundane. I ran out of dip one nightand didn't feel like stopping at the gas station on the way home from work. Somehow I made it through the night and the next day figured if I could make it through work, then I'd be nicotine free for 24 hours.
The first 24 hours weren't bad. The next were a living hell. Keep in mind that one dip has the nicotine content of 18 cigarettes and Copenhagen is the crack of all snuff.
I remember calling my brother from work (he had already kicked the habit), shaking and almost in tears. I told him I couldn't concentrate or stop my hands from shaking and couldn't do my job. He said, "Fuck your job. Fuck everything. Nothing matters today except that you are not going to have a dip. That's it. That's your only focus."
After about a week things weren't so bad. Kicking that nasty habit was the best thing I've ever done for myself. For the first year, I took all the money that I would've spent on dip and stuck it in a shoebox. It ended up paying for a vacation for me and my then girlfriend where I ended up proposing.
I'll tell you this, though. If I'm diagnosed with a terminal illness tomorrow, I'm going out with a dip in my mouth.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 09:38 PM (bTOE8)

118 Ace,



When/if you fall off the wagon, don't smoke the whole pack. Just
crunch 'em up and quit again. Like scrubbing hobo blood off good
shoes, quitting requires effort.



If necessary, give yourself permission to consume nicotine gum or
lozenge for as long as you like. Takes the pressure off.
Being addicted to the lozenge/gum sucks, but not as much as killing
your lungs.



Plus, you can annoy your nancy boy smoking nazi friends. "I am enjoying
sweet, sweet nicotine in your 'space' and there's nothing you can do
about it".



B





Posted by: Buddy J. Cianci at November 15, 2006 09:41 PM (1Enjn)

119 Warden, snuff is powdered tobacco, right? Nasty thing. Back home, they make a little paste out of powdered tobacco and Lime paste(real white lime, not that citrus fruit) and put it under their tongue. That thing can give you mouth cancer. When a person dies of mouth cancer, his last thought is: "If I had smoked instead, I would not have died looking so grotesque"

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:43 PM (9ULFg)

120 By the way, those of you who like chewing tobacco once in a while, go into an Indian grocery store and ask for "Paan Parag". You want the tobacco laced one sold in a silvery-golden packet, not the pussy stuff in blue packet. Just pop the contents in your mouth and enjoy. You can thank me later.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:46 PM (9ULFg)

121 Ace let me help you,quit easily by sucking on a cheap cigar.You dont lite it of course,it does two things.Dulls the nicotine jones,and gives you some measure of calming of the nerves.Quit 31 years ago.Still dream about it.When ever the urge returns get another cigar.

Posted by: jainphx at November 15, 2006 09:46 PM (u4m1z)

122 Quitters never win, but they don't lose either.

Posted by: ether at November 15, 2006 09:46 PM (G2Zo+)

123 start blowing smoke rings, then *bam* some dude is going to flip himself over and jam his penis in ace's mouth.

That's how I quit.

Smoking cigarettes I mean. Not upside down penis.

Posted by: Jim Webb at November 15, 2006 09:47 PM (CTqCo)

124 Buddy? Mr Mayor? That you?!?

Long time, no indict.

Posted by: S. Weasel at November 15, 2006 09:47 PM (MecJo)

125 Tushar,
You're thinking more of the sniffing type snuff. The kind you find mostly in America is finely shredded tobacco. The fun part is that they put little pieces of fiberglass in it that make tiny cuts on the inside of your mouth so you absorb the nicotine more efficiently.
Mmmmm...good times.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 09:48 PM (bTOE8)

126 fiberglass???? fucking animals!

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:53 PM (9ULFg)

127 And ace, I strongly recommend hard-assing it by going cold turkey. Reducing intake slowly just prolongs the misery and doesn't tend to get you in the right mental state for beating the motherfucker.
Nicotine is a bitch. It's gonna be a war, but you can beat it. Look at all us other assholes that kicked it.
I'll tell you, I don't mind one bit not being the whipping boy for every fuckheaded politician that needs a new way to raise government revenue. I got damned sick and tired of funding everyone else's pet projects.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 09:54 PM (bTOE8)

128 I started smoking to help quit chewing. Good times. When I finally quit smoking for the second time two and a half years ago, I must have bought twenty packs, smoked one, and threw the rest away. That miserable hell dragged on for a good two or three months.

I quit mainly for health and money, but tobacco users are being fleeced by the state and I got sick of that too. Being free of the craving was well worth the struggle.

Posted by: slatz at November 15, 2006 09:58 PM (ig+yv)

129 Nowadays, Ace easily generates 100+ comments on the most mundane comments. I won't be surprized if he makes a one word post: "Yawn!" and we morons discuss our sleeping habits for next 12 hours.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 09:58 PM (9ULFg)

130 You all make me glad that I was never able to take up smoking.


My first experience with smoking came in high school. I successfully bummed my first cigarette off
one of the smokers at the bus stop and lit up.
After a few tentative puffs at the burning stick, I breathed deeply of
the tobacco-laced smoke.

A few
seconds later, I was leaning on a tree, coughing, and wondering when the ground
would stop spinning. My cigarette was on
the pavement, still smoldering. One of the smokers in the group became concerned.

He asked me, I kid you not - ďHey buddy,
you gonna finish that cigarette?Ē

I made a
negative-sounding noise and shook my head, not yet trusting my vocal chords to
produce understandable words. He looked
pleased and picked up the cigarette.That's when I figured out that smoking sucked.


Posted by: Slublog at November 15, 2006 09:59 PM (goyZv)

131 Slatz,
I had a friend who started dipping to quit smoking and ended up hooked on both.
I can remember wondering when I was addicted how non-tobacco users got through a movie or a long drive without a dip. My whole life revolved around that shit. After every meal.....hell, I would even sneak out of bed after sex sometimes and turn on the TV while enjoying a dip.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 10:01 PM (bTOE8)

132 Warden, stop right there. The more you discuss, the more you will feel like having one for old times sake. I am already thinking whether that last pack with 3 cigarettes in it was thrown out, or still lying around in some drawer.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 10:03 PM (9ULFg)

133 Quit cold turkey and trip on dextromethorphan on day 2. It's amazing.

Posted by: schizoid at November 15, 2006 10:07 PM (e4Rzr)

134 Ace, you may want to move to San Mateo, CA

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 10:08 PM (9ULFg)

135 Nobody likes a quitter.

Go with the water. The gum is ok, but I used it to fall back on instead of buying a pack of smokes, cause that gum ain't exactly cheap. Quit for two years, then I went out drinking one night and woke up with a hangover and a smoking habit again.

So the quit thing is more than a little imcompatible with the AoSHQ lifestyle.

Posted by: The Atom bomb of Loving Kindness at November 15, 2006 10:11 PM (EwQQd)

136 Tushar, the three-fer is in the third drawer down and on the left. Somewhere.

Posted by: ErikW at November 15, 2006 10:12 PM (SLkM0)

137 For whatever it's worth, I quit in 1998. I had a new job that offered no way to smoke during work. (I work in a city where you can't smoke indoors anywhere, and no breaks allowed for it ).

I had a week's vacation coming. I went to Vegas, wearing "the patch". My doctor said that getting away from the daily, familiar routine would help. I would not be sitting at home, in my usual chair. I'd be elsewhere and distracted.

Surprisingly, it worked. I haven't had a smoke since 1998.

Posted by: Scott at November 15, 2006 10:13 PM (sbvfF)

138 Tushar,
When I think about starting again I remember how I used to have nightmares about all my teeth falling out. Also, my 4 root canals hurt like fucking hell. Didn't stop me from putting in a dip after leaving the dentist office, though.
Goddamn what a shitty addiction. No, I'm not going back.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 10:14 PM (bTOE8)

139 EricW, you made me look. Nope, not there. Must checkout that basement storage area. **trundles away**

Posted by: Tushar D at November 15, 2006 10:16 PM (9ULFg)

140 In a coincidental turn of events, just quit a medication I'd been taking for many years, Trazodone, to help with insomnia. It's actually a mild antidepressant that sorta helps with sleep too.

Anyway, so I quit that shit, and no change in happiness as a side effect, but occasionally, I find myself boiling over in filing-cabinet kicking rage at various work related indignites. Sorta suprised me, but then I recalled I was kinda a ragoholic before I started taking that stuff. Funny what we can forget about ourselves.

Posted by: Ray Midge at November 15, 2006 10:23 PM (rH3Ei)

141 Quitters never win, and winners never quit!

I've quit smoking a bunch of times, always "for good." Quit cold turkey when I was pregnant, but started up again when my daughter was a couple months old. I quit a few more times when I had bronchitis, another couple times with pneumonia, another time when I was in basic training (until we got smoking privileges), several more times when I was hospitalized (cancer--not lung cancer, though), plus one time when I was hospitalized because I couldn't BREATHE because of lung problems (that eventually just disappeared on their own). Every time I quit, even when I was sick, I ended up starting again. You would think someone like me would stay off the damn things, but I can't do it. I tried the patch and it just made me feel like I had the flu, the gum was worthless, and hypnosis doesn't work for me. I won't do Zyban. (BTW, it's the same thing as Wellbutrin, an SSRI.)

All this talk about smoking...time for me to light another one. :-P



Posted by: Beth at November 15, 2006 10:38 PM (yqiXY)

142 What's wrong with Wellbutrin?

Wellbutrin is my friend.

Effin' depression.

Posted by: Slublog at November 15, 2006 10:40 PM (goyZv)

143 I don't see why it's so hard to quit smoking. I've been smoking off and on for years. I have no problem quitting. I guess I'm just tougher and stronger than the rest of you.
I think young guys look sexy with a cigarette in their mouths. But old folks just look sick when they've got one poking out of their skinny lips. Smoke when you're young. Quit when you get old. You shouldn't have any problems if you follow my advice!

Posted by: ryan at November 15, 2006 10:41 PM (oN7XZ)

144 Has anyone else noticed those truth commercials make you want to light up? Even if the word "cigarette" is spelled in the freshly chemically burned off back hairs of unattractive and obese men, I feel a little prickling.
Not that I have any trouble ignoring it, mind you.

Posted by: ryan at November 15, 2006 10:44 PM (oN7XZ)

145 Has anyone else noticed those truth commercials make you want to light up?

Yeah, but mainly just to spite those self-righteous douchenozzles.

Posted by: Mr. Eric Praline at November 15, 2006 10:46 PM (q0Pbx)

146 Ace, I just found there's a nicotine inhaler:
http://www.nicotrol.com/nicotrol_demo.html

I dunno about you, but I might try it.

Posted by: Beth at November 15, 2006 10:49 PM (yqiXY)

147 Ace,

I'm proud of you.
Get it through your head that your natural state is as a non-smoker.
You're not a smoker who is quitting. You're a non-smoker who started doing an unnatural thing. You're rectifying a mistake.

My best to you.

Posted by: Birkel at November 15, 2006 10:50 PM (pVzhU)

148 Ace, maybe it's time for you to start smoking the sweet sweet cheeba.

Posted by: sandy burger at November 15, 2006 10:52 PM (PQyeQ)

149 What's wrong with Wellbutrin?

Nothing, if it doesn't interact with other medications you may be on. I just won't take it because my mother tried it once and went batshit crazy while she was on it, so she switched to something else. Buproprion, like any drug, works differently for everyone, but if it sucked for my mother I'm not taking the chance. So, none for me, thanks!

Posted by: Beth at November 15, 2006 10:53 PM (yqiXY)

150 Were any of you quitters a social smoker?

I've never had a cigarette without an accompanying cigarette.

See photo here of my hero, Dean Martin.

Billy Bob Thornton is sort of a weirdo but he said it best, "I'll stop smoking when they outlaw alcohol."

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 10:53 PM (CTqCo)

151 I've been smoking off and on for years. I have no problem quitting. I guess I'm just tougher and stronger than the rest of you.

A propensity for addiction seems to be encoded in one's DNA.

I have a friend who used to buy a can of Kodiac every year when we vacationed in Colorado. As soon as the trip ended, he threw his can away and never thought twice about it.

Meanwhile, I'm like, "How the fuck does anyone do that?"

Yet this same guy can't go to the horse track without throwing hundreds of dollars around while I goof off with two dollar bets.

Strange what gets its hooks into you.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 10:54 PM (bTOE8)

152 I watched a program on smoking and tobacco on the history channel about a week ago. According to them, 95% of the people who get past the initial tobacco spins end up hooked. Compare that with heroin, which has an addiction rate of about 50%.

My oldest sister used to smoke, and one day just decided to quit and did, no problem. Obviously one of the 5%.

I never tried smoking. Well, I have never used nicotine. Let's put it that way.

Posted by: cranky-d at November 15, 2006 10:54 PM (1O9mK)

153 I've never had a cigarette without an accompanying cigarette.

I meant to say, "I've never had a cigarette without an accompanying cocktail."

Stupid vodka...

Posted by: Rosetta at November 15, 2006 10:56 PM (CTqCo)

154
A propensity for addiction seems to be encoded in one's DNA.

Isn't that the truth!

Posted by: Beth at November 15, 2006 10:57 PM (yqiXY)

155 Fuck cigarettes. Life wouldn't be worth living without Stevie Nicks to charade you through the years.

Posted by: ryan at November 15, 2006 11:04 PM (oN7XZ)

156 Life wouldn't be worth living without Stevie Nicks to charade you through the years.

Huh. I figured cigarettes were the reason for her scratchy voice.

Posted by: Slublog at November 15, 2006 11:07 PM (goyZv)

157 Rosetta, "social smoking" is how I started, in college. Then I started drinking every day (stupid college!), so I was also smoking every day, and that pretty much ended "social smoking" for me.

Posted by: Beth at November 15, 2006 11:12 PM (yqiXY)

158 This is what I've never understood about smoking. OK, I know all about the getting hooked on nicotine and all that, but here's the thing. How the fuck does anyone end up smoking enough to get hooked? Jesus Christ, I tried it one fucking time, about coughed up a lung, and that was it for me. Why would anyone want to do enough of that shit to get hooked?

Posted by: Mr. Eric Praline at November 15, 2006 11:14 PM (q0Pbx)

159 I figured cigarettes were the reason for her scratchy voice.

Nope. Dicks. Lots and lots of dicks. Buckingham, Fleetwood, Henley... all those motherfuckers.

Posted by: Mr. Eric Praline at November 15, 2006 11:16 PM (q0Pbx)

160 Is the cigarette after sex the best one?
Maybe that cigarette you smoke with the first cup of coffee on the first morning you wake up and there's snow on the ground.
I think my best cigarette ever was on my wedding day. We had just gone through about an hour of post-ceremony photo-ops. My bride and I finally got away- jumped in my new C10, me in my morning suit, she in her wedding gown-and went to a drive thru liquor store. Got a cold sixpack, popped tops, and lit up. That one had real therapeutic value.
Aclose second was a cigarette I smoked in 1983. I was wrapping up a weekend as a guest of the county. Walking to the bustop that Sunday morning, I had my first smoke in 2 days. That was a good one.

Posted by: Barry at November 15, 2006 11:18 PM (kKjaJ)

161 Say, Ace, you think you could get rid of this "Politics Today" thingie? It's more than a little depressing to read "Polls: GOP looks likely to keep Senate control" every fucking day.

Posted by: Mr. Eric Praline at November 15, 2006 11:20 PM (q0Pbx)

162 Eric: It's the second one that gets you. Nicotine only feels good when you're in withdrawal. That one cigarette probably left you feeling somewhat ill for a few hours. If you had tried another, you'd have felt better, and then you'd be hooked.

Posted by: schizoid at November 15, 2006 11:29 PM (e4Rzr)

163 Longtime listener, first time caller.
I've talked to my wife and best friend about quitting cigarettes at length, far too many times.
-Keep thinking about quitting. Spend as much time every day actually thinking about quitting. Think about how amazingly great it is to quit smoking or something (it isnít). Brains makes connections when you think about things and make stronger connections the more you think about it. Even if you lose the battle this time those connections will still be there. Those connections will get triggered again next time you quit. And at some point, it just sort of takes over and then you donít want cigarettes anymore. Look, people who have quit smoking for real only explain it one of two waysÖ I got cancer, or it was just my time. Or pregnant.

Posted by: shakespear stout at November 15, 2006 11:34 PM (+PcK/)

164 Really sorry about the supply probs.

Goddam SAP.

Posted by: The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company at November 15, 2006 11:36 PM (hNyWr)

165 yeah you new smokers need to fight past that sick feeling and get to the euphoria that comes from true nicotine satisfaction.
hey I'd quit if I didn't think I'd become a danger to myself or others. I smoke to keep the peace.

Posted by: Barry at November 15, 2006 11:38 PM (kKjaJ)

166 I used the patch to quit. It helped. The main thing that helped me quit? My wife predicated our marriage on my quitting.

Once you quit for a time--it took me 2 years--you can pick up cigars and re-learn to enjoy tobacco without the compulsion. I recommend it.

Posted by: rho at November 15, 2006 11:39 PM (aLDBr)

167 Praline,
you bastard. how dare you insult Stevie!
The Welsh Witch from Arizona will curse you and your spawn, and then you'll be sorry!

Posted by: ryan at November 15, 2006 11:43 PM (oN7XZ)

168 Ace,
I did the tobacco thing, and I'll say that while I was addicted I did the Mark Twain thing, "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times." It's a great line, but don't use it as an excuse.

It's not easy to break the smoking addiction, but it is worth it. You can taste food etc...

Keep in mind while you are yearning for that tobacco fix that what you want is laced with radioactive polonium-210.

So, you thought it was the tar that caused cancer...

Radioactive Cigarettes

I'm not an activist, I'm just an ex-smoker/nuclear physicist.

Posted by: Savage George at November 15, 2006 11:47 PM (hRmHi)

169 Hell with this cigarette addiction - we gotta get some trolls in here! I need a troll patch, bad.

Ryan!! Say something objectionable!

Posted by: geoff at November 15, 2006 11:50 PM (2d9Ny)

170 -Also, about 3 or 4 times before I actually quit I tried a more extreme remedy. Iíd punch myself in the head, somewhat hard, every time I wanted a cigarette. On the temple, upper head region, any where in there. Sometimes it hurt my hand more than the head. It really made me think about how often, every day, I would crave a smoke.
-And, I hate it when you forget that you quit for a moment and you go for the cigarettes in your jacket and theyíre not there, and there isnít any referee around to give you a smoke for free because, well, you didnít really crave that cigarette, you just went for it out of habit, and it shouldnít count. So you smoke 20.

Posted by: Shakespear Stout at November 15, 2006 11:54 PM (+PcK/)

171 Longtime listener, first time caller.

You're not a troll, areya? Cause we could really use a troll. If I squint right, you look like a troll. Say "McChimpyBushHitler." That's it . . . reeeaaaal slow.

Yeah, that's nice.

[no offense, ss]

Posted by: geoff at November 15, 2006 11:54 PM (2d9Ny)

172 Jesus Christ, I tried it one fucking time, about coughed up a lung, and that was it for me. Why would anyone want to do enough of that shit to get hooked?

Experience the turbo boost that smoking a cigarette gives to a beer buzz and you'll begin to understand the appeal it had to newbies.

I started out in high school chewing loose leaf tobacco like Levi Garret. It was never an addiction. Just something I did when playing poker mostly. Then one night while drinking with my buddies, I ran out so I put in a dip. I'd tried it in middle school and gotten sick, but this time I had some tolerance built up from the tobacco chewing. The boost it gave to my beer buzz was fucking amazing.

I bought a can the next day and stayed hooked for more than a decade.

Posted by: Warden at November 15, 2006 11:54 PM (bTOE8)

173 Just a reminder to my fellow Ohioans, smoking is now taboo in any public place. The people have spoken. Get used to it.

Posted by: ErikW at November 15, 2006 11:54 PM (SLkM0)

174 -G F
What, do trolls only come out at the end of the party? Sorry Iím late, I brought goodies, I thought Iíd be fashionably late.

Posted by: shakespear stout at November 15, 2006 11:56 PM (+PcK/)

175 What, do trolls only come out at the end of the party?

I'm afraid we may have overhunted and depleted them to extinction. Damn conservationists warned us, but did we listen?

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:00 AM (2d9Ny)

176 -Plus, I hate sadists. I think Bush does too, and I think he has something up his sleeve.

Posted by: shakespear stout at November 16, 2006 12:03 AM (+PcK/)

177 I smoked for 30 years but I quit 1.5 years ago. I got "the Shot" cost about $425 but well worth it!

Posted by: Cindy at November 16, 2006 12:06 AM (BUbza)

178 You're boring me with all the smoking talk.

Light up and watch this.

Posted by: Bart has only one soul at November 16, 2006 12:08 AM (DE9oO)

179 -But hey, I wanted to talk about quitting. Because smoking is stupid, but quitting it stupider. I think quitting actually sucks more than smoking and that is why it is so hard to quit. And that is either brilliant or stupider.

Posted by: shakespear stout at November 16, 2006 12:08 AM (+PcK/)

180 I smoked for about a dozen years, the last couple of which I was going through 3 packs a day. Quit cold turkey (no patches or other sissified crap back then) using a tip my uncle gave me -- whenever you geta craving, tell yourself you'll have a cigarette, but in two or three minutes. After a couple of minutes, the craving always passed. Worked like a charm.
Of course, I also gained 20 pounds in fifteen minutes, but it was worth it.

Posted by: Paulitics at November 16, 2006 12:09 AM (BPwgd)

181 I got "the Shot" cost about $425 but well worth it!

That looks cool. And I like that they are only testing on people from the south first.

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:11 AM (AQGeh)

182 Ok, Geoff.

I love, love, LOVE the Dixie Chicks!
There were no WMD's in Iraq! But there was one in Washington! A draft-dodging, coke-snorting, drunk-driving, chimpy faced, fake Texan, scumbag!
Bad Bush Kills!
Cindy Sheehan is the voice of reason in these troubled times!
Nancy Pelosi as SOH means San Francisco values will rule Congress. HAHAHA I bet that's some sour piss to swallow, Alabama!


Geoff made me do it.




Posted by: ryan at November 16, 2006 12:13 AM (oN7XZ)

183 Closet Land?

Anyone see this movie?

I know some of you homos are big fans of Alan Rickman.

Posted by: Bart at November 16, 2006 12:13 AM (DE9oO)

184 Dangerfield: "What is it I don't got, what's dat word?"
Pesci: "Class?"
"Naw, everybody knows I got class. Whaddya call someone who can't say no?"
"Sonia?"
"Noooo, not Sonia... willpowah. I got no willpowah."
Willpowah, Ace, willpowah.

Posted by: Paulitics at November 16, 2006 12:13 AM (BPwgd)

185 Ha! Youstupid, Rethuglican, smoking losers are being banned from smoking in public more and more every day! Before you know it Big Brother will be banning you from smoking in your own house, trying to tell you what to do with your own body! How do you nazi,fascist Christianistslike it, huh?! huh?!

Posted by: Trolling to please at November 16, 2006 12:15 AM (j2y/0)

186 ryan, you are a fucking...

Aaaah, it's just not the same. Thanks for trying, though.

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:16 AM (AQGeh)

187 -THE BATTLEFIELD!!!!
-For the experienced quitter, I offer, THE BATTLEFIELD!!!! (Patent pending, and also pending outside approval, anyone?? Hello? Iím so lonelyÖ)

--THE BATTLEFIELD!!!!
-Just because you caved in and bummed a smoke, that doesnít mean youíve lost the war! Fight back! Just because you lose a soldier, you donít stop the war! Those bastard sadists need to be taken out!! Just because you lose a tank company, and bum 3 smokes off someone at a party, you donít stop the war! The order of donít is as followsÖ

Donít grab a cigarette
Donít bum a cigarette
Donít light a cigarette
Donít smoke a lit cigarette
Donít smoke the whole cigarette
Donít smoke two cigarettes because you smoked one
Donít bum off of someone all night
Donít do it again tomorrow
Donít offer to pay for any smokes for someone else
Donít buy a pack, because you have lost the war

Wow, that was almost painful to write. I think I need a smoke.

Posted by: shakespear stout at November 16, 2006 12:18 AM (+PcK/)

188 I went cold turkey after 5 years of smoking last year and never looked back.

It can be done. Good luck with it, Ace. Your heart-disease/attack chances diminish significantly when you stop smoking.

Everything to gain, and nothing to lose (except, you know, that wonderful smoking/alcohol combo that we all know and love).

You can do, me harty.

Posted by: Good Lt at November 16, 2006 12:21 AM (D0TMh)

189 I almost want to keep smoking just to piss off all the anti-smoking snobs who get all pissy and give you that sneer when they find out you are a smoker.

Then, I realize that killing myself isn't really going to bother them as much as it would, ya know, kill me.

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:22 AM (AQGeh)

190 That was good Ryan, compact in form, yet scattershot in content. All the high points collected into one hyperbolic, unsubstantiated screed.

You're the methadone of trolls.

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:27 AM (2d9Ny)

191 I've only smoked cigars, and very infrequently. I don't know, maybe its because I'm not inhaling large quantities of tobacco like you would with cigarettes, I like the buzz and that damn good feeling you get from the cigars, but I don't really get hooked. Which I'm thankful for, because I know quitting is hard.


Oh, and here's some inspiration for anyone looking to quit. My great grandfather had esophagal cancer from a lifetime of smoking, it was so awful that only the head nurse could stand to care for him, the rest of the nurses were too disturbed and upset by how horrible his condition was to care for him. Many of the nurses(many were lifetime career nurses) said it was the worst death they'd ever seen.

I was a little kid when it happened, and was kept from actually seeing most of it, but it was real bad, and I only actually saw him in the very early stages.

Posted by: Sinistar at November 16, 2006 12:28 AM (fzmgK)

192 Interesting timing on this post -- can I question it?

I've been planning on quitting lately. I quit for five years once; the day I got divorced and got away from her smelly ass. I went overboard on fitness and actually did a few triathlons. Moved to Detroit where everyone smokes and a couple years of social smoking got me hooked again.

My quit date is the 27th of this month, my birthday. I'm joining a new gym to give myself something positive to do while I nic fit. Should be interesting, if I could give up beer it wouldn't be a problem. It's not the first beer that gets me, usually number eight or nine when my brain decides that a smoke is more important than the pretty girl I'm talking to.

Best of luck, hopefully a year from now we'll both be non-smokers.

Posted by: mesablue at November 16, 2006 12:31 AM (DzeyU)

193 That was good Ryan, compact in form, yet scattershot in content. All
the high points collected into one hyperbolic, unsubstantiated screed.

Extra points for being totally off-topic. Had you brought up Bush's poll numbers, I think we would have had a classic!

It had a good beat, and I could dance to it, so I'll give it an 87.

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:31 AM (AQGeh)

194 Since Wiserbud is going by his pretentious longass name, I may have to go to my long name too. Sir Roderick, please answer the White Courtesy phone!

Posted by: Sinistar at November 16, 2006 12:32 AM (fzmgK)

195 Thanks, Guys!
I aim to please.
At least that's what my boyfriends have always told me!

Posted by: ryan at November 16, 2006 12:34 AM (oN7XZ)

196 Ahh, yes, here I am.


I say, Ace, step away from that tobacco, it causes an imbalance in the bodily humours, and do you realize what you are doing to your own bile? Dreadful I say, Dreadful!

Posted by: Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard at November 16, 2006 12:35 AM (fzmgK)

197 You all are just a bunch of smokers, jokers and midnight tokers...but that's why I like to lurk here. When are we going to see some troll-bustin' action?

Posted by: Mr. Matamoros at November 16, 2006 12:35 AM (5UIAk)

198 That was good Ryan.
Why does he get all of the attention? I madeidiotic points, I was insulting, and unhinged.
I was a good troll, dammit!

Posted by: trolling to please at November 16, 2006 12:36 AM (j2y/0)

199 Good choice, Snuggly! Now with the money you save, you'll be able to put me up in a nice hotel next time.

Posted by: Feisty at November 16, 2006 12:38 AM (2Oi8H)

200 When are we going to see some troll-bustin' action?

You know you've hit rock bottom when Nice Deb is playing troll. Talk about least likely to succeed.

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:40 AM (2d9Ny)

201 You know you've hit rock bottom when Nice Deb is playing troll.
Awww, nuts!
There's no fooling you sharpies.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 12:43 AM (j2y/0)

202 I was a good troll, dammit!

[soothingly] Yes you were, pumpkin! You were a very scary troll! Now take off the costume and get into your jammies - it's a school day tomorrow.

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:43 AM (2d9Ny)

203 Since Wiserbud is going by his pretentious longass name, I may have to go to my long name too.

Jealous much?

Don't worry, I'll probably just stick with it until I can change it to"nailed all of the AoS chicks and gave each one of them multiple, raging, incredible orgasms so intense that they have all decided to kill themselves, confident in the knowledge that they would never again experience the level of complete and total sexual satisfaction ever in their lives that they received from your friend wiserbud."

Just a couple more to go......

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:44 AM (AQGeh)

204 I haven't had my fix in a while, Geoff...and I've been jonesin' for it all day. (BTW Good luck with quitting the smokes, Ace)

Posted by: Mr. Matamoros at November 16, 2006 12:47 AM (5UIAk)

205 I was a good troll, dammit!

Yeah, ummmm, ya know, when you have to ask for it, it kinds loses something, ya know?

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 12:51 AM (AQGeh)

206 All right, I'm giving up. I'm going to go have a beer and play Final Fantasy XII. Because that's the kind of on-the-edge filled-with-danger life I lead.

G'night all.

PS: Mr. Matamoros, did you ever get my email invite?

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:52 AM (2d9Ny)

207 Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud: Dream on, bud!
As far as smoking goes:
I don't have much to contribute to the conversation, as I don't smoke, nor does my husband. My older sister does, though, and her face looks like a prune. I mean if the lung cancer doesn't scare you, the potential for excessive wrinkles, should.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 12:55 AM (j2y/0)

208 What, no dope-ass rhymes, oh mighty gangsta?

I get the feeling Wiserbuds about to get a swift kick to the nads from some AoS lady...


Heh.

Posted by: Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard at November 16, 2006 12:56 AM (fzmgK)

209 Nice Deb,
It's cause I'm prettier
I didn't think you were so bad. In fact, I'm eating chips and dip. Your cutesy little wit made me laugh till I inhaled French Onion Beer. I shall never forgive you. Ever!

Posted by: ryan at November 16, 2006 12:56 AM (oN7XZ)

210 You may not steal my nickname, you obsequious punk.

Or anything close to it.

Posted by: nailed all of the AoS chicks and gave each one of them multiple, raging, incredible orgasms so inten at November 16, 2006 12:57 AM (pVzhU)

211 Apparently there is a character limit on names.

Posted by: Birkel at November 16, 2006 12:58 AM (pVzhU)

212 Oh why did I have this craaazy idea that Nice Deb was never a smoker?


Forget what I said two days ago. She gets to keep "Nice" for as long as she wants.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at November 16, 2006 12:59 AM (hNyWr)

213 I mean, holy Christopher Columbus, she's warning ace off of wrinkles for crying out loud.


You could just saw some wood you know. Or make a Tiramisou. That always takes the edge off a Marlboro craving.

c'mon ace. Let's saw some wood. Let's do this.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at November 16, 2006 01:02 AM (hNyWr)

214 If you quit, the terrorist appeasers will have won. Just think about that.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at November 16, 2006 01:05 AM (Z3AmO)

215 the guardian get the scoop in bush's iraq 'last big push'
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,,1948748,00.html

Posted by: djames at November 16, 2006 01:08 AM (H+LJa)

216 Hey, Geoff...yes, I did get your invite. I've been on the road for the past couple of weeks (will be back home tomorrow night). I'll give you a ring and let you know what's going on.

Posted by: Mr. Matamoros at November 16, 2006 01:08 AM (5UIAk)

217





















You want be to throw down?
You want me to be yo clown?
All night here I been showing you my style
And I can rap this shit real easy while wearin' a smile
Iím the big rhyminí dog with my own life to live
Anyone who disses me gonna get worse than they give
I bust on ryan and Deb and Slublog and Bart
And Warden and geoff and Kevlar for a start
But itís all in fun an they all know thatís my game
So break it down, yo, and come back with the same.Word to yo sista!

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 01:12 AM (AQGeh)

218 hey wiz,

dat wuz kinda fly fo' a whiteassed honky guy!

Posted by: ryan at November 16, 2006 01:18 AM (oN7XZ)

219 obsequious?

Dat's gonna be tough. Gimme a minute.....

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 01:21 AM (AQGeh)

220 Forget what I said two days ago.
Yes! Let's do forget that whole conversation! I've been in a funk since the election and was starting to say some ....uh....well, not typical things for me.
But I'm tellin' ya, in the next flamewar thread, that Monkey Airport stuff is going to be back on the table.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 01:24 AM (j2y/0)

221 How bout Orange, oh master of the mic.

Posted by: Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard at November 16, 2006 01:24 AM (fzmgK)

222 I was one of those "social smokers" right after college (I was a highly functional alky in high school & college, and made a conscious decision to forego smoking in H.S. & college in order to have more money for booze). I went through maybe two packs a week or something like that, but it went in spurts. Five or six smokes during the workday, then the rest of the pack while I'm playing 8-ball that night.

I started out with regular Camels, but switched to "Camel Butts" (unfiltered) after a mishap with a vending machine at a local bar. I got a pack of butts by mistake, but noticed that I made it home with a half pack instead of my usual crumpled empty pack because nobody wanted to bum smokes off me. So my smoking choices once again came down to "I'll smoke these to give myself more money for the sweet, sweet booze that I love so much". I more or less stopped cold a few years ago when the cig taxes here in Iowa essentially doubled. We've still got some of the lowest cig taxes in the midwest, but I guess it was just time to hang it up.

I still smoke stogies (and yes, I do inhale), and I figure that my "box of 50 every six months or so" still qualifies me as a "amateur smoker".

Now if I could only stop tripping out on the pineal gland extract I take from the lobotomized hoboes down in the crawlspace............

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at November 16, 2006 01:34 AM (NlIM4)

223 Oh!

Ban me, ban me!

Um, Bush lied and he sucks, and you guys are all racist homophobe closet cases.

Posted by: seattle slough at November 16, 2006 01:36 AM (a8py1)

224



















I be proviní mad rap skillz on this blog throughout the day
And now I get challenged, but you know I will play
Dis thread be Ďbout smokiní and tryiní to stop
Donít mean I canít show that Iím the rapper on top
The bitches can tell you that I donít quit Ďtil Iím done
And, no matter what you think, I still having my fun
And to prove that Iím the real deal and all that físhizzle
Itís left up to me to show that I donít fizzle
Now kick back and watch while I rhyme obsequious
Like a real white rapper and not a lame loser at Toys-b-Us

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 01:37 AM (AQGeh)

225 And what's this crap about you can't inhale on a cigar? Of course you can. If you gag or pass out, you're just not doing it right.
Macanudos are nice. Dunhill makes a good cigar, too.
Also, handrolled cigs are good too, if rolled right. Good nicotine head rush.
Dirty weeds are my last vice. I rarely drink now, and gave up bad food. Caffeine and nicotine are all I have left.

Posted by: Barry at November 16, 2006 01:38 AM (kKjaJ)

226 Warden, I feel ya. Some of the biggest nicotine fiends I've ever known in my life never lit a single smoke. I lived in a house right after college with five guys where three of them were chew fiends.

The one hard & fast rule in that house (other than "never do dishes, ever") was - ALWAYS ASSUME THAT EVERY BEER BOTTLE, GLASS, POP BOTTLE OR OTHER CONTAINER WITH A CLOSED BOTTOM IN THE COMMON AREA OF THE HOUSE IS FULL OF CHEW SPIT AND FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T KNOCK IT OVER!

From what I've been told, "quitting chewing" makes "quitting smoking" seem like "quitting having elective root canal surgery" by comparison. I chewed a little Levi Garrett leaf back in high school, but quit once in order to get a real sweet piece of pussy (she thought it was gross).

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at November 16, 2006 01:43 AM (NlIM4)

227 Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud:
I wish I could rapbut I'm a honky chick at that!
It don't make me proud to say that music too damn loud!
If you listen in yo car, roll yo windows up, ya har?
Cause I aint diggin' what yo siggin' Yo!
Check out my finger, when I flip it oh so fas'
And if yo key my do' I'll call the cops on yo ass!


Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 01:44 AM (j2y/0)

228 I know how you feel, I have tried many times before but with no luck. Hang in there;

Posted by: Bill at November 16, 2006 01:50 AM (ppn3R)

229 Oh- and no trolls tonight- they're all over at DU or Kos putting together The Plan To Save The World.

Posted by: Barry at November 16, 2006 01:50 AM (kKjaJ)

230 orange...orange...orange, now that be a bitch
You think this shit's easy, but it may make me rich
All I needs now is a stupid trailer park honey
Who, by the fact that she's hot, was able to make money
So if I can do orange, will that make you pleased?
Or will you continue to complain, like the press and the sleaze
I don't know why, but i accept yo simple test
and then you'll know you dealing with the best
I can rhyme wit' the greatest and that makes my whore cringe
But I don't care 'bout her since I got a sweet orange

Posted by: Rapper and noted prose stylist wiserbud at November 16, 2006 01:51 AM (AQGeh)

231 Bart does NOT like being ignored.

/lightning strikes/


Hey, you know what this thread is missing?


A gay stick!

Posted by: Bart at November 16, 2006 01:56 AM (ch7rX)

232 I mean if the lung cancer doesn't scare you, the potential for excessive wrinkles, should.

Nice Deb, somehow I don't think that's gonna work for these guys. As for me, that's why we have Renova/Retin-A and other expensive stuff to slather on the face. (I haven't gotten around to the botox, yet.)
I'm a dedicated smoker!


Posted by: Beth at November 16, 2006 01:57 AM (yqiXY)

233 Beth,
It didn't help that she started using diet pills and lost a shitload of weight, (I mean about 100 1bs.) Oh my gosh, she was sagging all over the place; in fact she ended up having a tummy tuck. Plus she's always had dry skin to begin with, and is a sun worshipper..So all that + the smoking contributed to the unfortunate wrinkles.
I was just trying to scare him, a little, in case he's a vain sort.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:06 AM (j2y/0)

234 Allah said 9 out of 10 baby

But allahs a PS ninja.

I gots me 9/10 too.

Only my skills are born out of seeing so much fake celbrity porn.

Odd that fake celebrity porn skills one for photo-rec in the same way that being a PS ninja does?

My suggestion? the first half of graphic artist schooling should consist of non-stop celebrity porn.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 02:06 AM (QTv8u)

235 Did Bart say something?

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:08 AM (j2y/0)

236 The pruney look is hot.

Posted by: Paris Hilton at November 16, 2006 02:09 AM (ch7rX)

237 I was just trying to scare him, a little, in case he's a vain sort.

Well, there is that thing about smoking making men impotent...

(maybe that'll work?)

Posted by: Beth at November 16, 2006 02:13 AM (yqiXY)

238 Well, there is that thing about smoking making men impotent...(maybe that'll work?)
That should do the trick.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:15 AM (j2y/0)

239 Smoking doesn't make men impotent.

Thats just an excuse men who smoke use to explain why their wiver are just ugly.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 02:16 AM (QTv8u)

240 I like Alan Rickman.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:19 AM (j2y/0)

241 Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it in the plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it. I've dug in it. I've sprayed it, I've chopped it, I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it.

....And you bought it.

Ace has betrayed his Blog!

Posted by: Al Gore at November 16, 2006 02:21 AM (WXU1q)

242 You aren't gonna be president, and we know you didn't invent the internet, or cell phones, or combat photography, we also know that you didn't invent cigars or the corn cobb pipe Al.

Really.

Enough is enough, shouldn't you be in the hills looking for manbearpig?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 02:22 AM (QTv8u)

243 Thats just an excuse men who smoke use to explain why their wiver are just ugly.
I always knew that if I stayed up late enough, reading these blogs, I'd learn some of mankinds deepest, darkest secrets.
Now, what's a wiver?

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:24 AM (j2y/0)

244 First, you mention that you're quitting smoking. Then a post below that gushes over video of a gun designed to noisily put many, many holes into anything or anyone, especially if they fail to understand "stop" in Japanese.

I can't quite fathom the connection but it's making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up anyway. See if you dropped a few mellow-out tabs in the cushions before it's too late.

Posted by: prairiemain at November 16, 2006 02:24 AM (kvtm1)

245 hERE'S a sentence that will ignite the flames of hatred:

I thought Alan Rickman was great as the Sheriff of Nottingham in "Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves", which is a very good movie.



Discuss.

Posted by: Barry at November 16, 2006 02:26 AM (kKjaJ)

246 I'm looking it up deb.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 02:27 AM (QTv8u)

247 >what's a wiver
a guy that gets married a lot- like my brother (3 times)

Posted by: Barry at November 16, 2006 02:28 AM (kKjaJ)

248 Wow, my brother's a wiver, too.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:29 AM (j2y/0)

249 a wiver is a wong wine of wawa

Posted by: kim jong il at November 16, 2006 02:40 AM (WXU1q)

250 a wiver is a wong wine of wawa
Posted by: kim jong il
Okay, that made me laugh. Hard.
I'm going to bed. Goodnight, all.

Posted by: Nice Deb at November 16, 2006 02:46 AM (j2y/0)

251 Al Gore says that smoking causes global warming. That, in itself should prompt you guys to quit. I have never smoked cigarettes, never even tried it, but I used to love my funky green gromace! I had to quit smokingrope when drops became mandatory. Sux too. I REALLY liked weed!

Posted by: drolmorg at November 16, 2006 03:05 AM (kBPoS)

252 Did Bart say something?

Bart? Hmm... that name rings a bell. Wasn't he Timmy's liberal friend?

Posted by: sandy burger at November 16, 2006 05:21 AM (vP+Vh)

253 People like you don't have the willpower to quit. So, instead of putting yourself through all this suffering when you will inevitably start up again -- HAVE A CIGARETTE!

Posted by: at November 16, 2006 06:32 AM (L4JTS)

254 Why didn't that prairiemain doofus show up back when I was in the mood to kick some trolls? Wouldn't have been much fun anyway, I guess - his comment falls apart under its own idiocy.

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 07:25 AM (2d9Ny)

255 Sherlock Holmes, the famous detective, smoked a large cigar every day. Dr. Watson, his best friend, was concerned about his health and wanted to get him to quit.

So, when Holmes wasn't looking, Watson started taking cigars from Holmes' cigar-case, sticking them up his ass, then putting them back again.

After a few days of complaining that his cigars tasted horrible, Holmes quit for good.

But, sadly, Dr. Watson never managed to kick his habit.

Posted by: Sir Arthur's Ghost at November 16, 2006 07:27 AM (1ju3k)

256 I'm still on quit here. Been 72 hours and 51 minutes. Three days. Three days plus almost an hour I mean. No big deal though.

Going pretty well, no real problems except it seems as if everybody has decided this is a good time to make unreasonable demands and tell me about their problems.

Neighbor was complaining that VISA ripped him off on a $50 gift card. Wife had a whole list, her surgery hurts, she can't eat what she wants, its too cold, thefuckingpaintisthewrongcolor, you name it. Cry me a fucking river.

Dog wanted to go for his walk as usual. Soon as I get up. Had to kick the little fucker away. Can't let them get the idea they control you, especially not a hound. Stubborn little bastard.

But the quitting smoking thing is going just fine. It would be a helluva lot easier to quit if people around me would just shut the fuck up and leave me alone though. Selfish bastards.

Posted by: Dwilkers at November 16, 2006 08:28 AM (/9Qop)

257 Well, there is that thing about smoking making men impotent...

Oh HELL no.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at November 16, 2006 08:30 AM (hNyWr)

258 I guess I look like a therapist or something, because it appears everyone wants to explain in excrutiating detail every little problem they have again today. For the record though, if I wanted to be a personal counselor I'd get the cert and hang out a shingle.

And no, I don't care if the Toyota needs washing, I'll take it to the wash when I get around to that. You don't need to remind me about vehicle maintenance, that's my gig. I want your help I'll let you know. Drive the Jeep if the Toyota is too dirty for you.

Jeez man. I don't know why everyone picked now to do this, not that its the first time mind you.

Posted by: Dwilkers at November 16, 2006 09:06 AM (/9Qop)

259 "Well, there is that thing about smoking making men impotent..."

No, no. You misheard. Smoking makes men important. Yes, I'm sure that's the way I heard it.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 16, 2006 09:20 AM (t+mja)

260 I smoked for 24 years. I tried to quit at least once a year. Nothing ever helped until I ask Jesus to take it from me. I have not smoked in two years. Good luck with your battle.

Posted by: DW at November 16, 2006 09:24 AM (aqswQ)

261 DW, you passed on your bad habit to Jesus? That is so mean.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 16, 2006 09:48 AM (h76y6)

262 Tushar, you are an evil, evil man.

LOL

Posted by: lauraw at November 16, 2006 10:10 AM (woskx)

263 But you are right; one's addiction to nicotine should be one's own cross to bear.

Posted by: lauraw at November 16, 2006 10:11 AM (woskx)

264 Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! that cigarette.
Puff! Puff! Puff!
And if you smoke yourself to death,
Tell Saint Peter at the golden gate
That you hate to make him wait,
But you got to have another cigarette.

You know you want it, ace.

Posted by: at November 16, 2006 10:31 AM (L4JTS)

265 Is geoff trying to quit smoking, too?

"doofus" ... "idiocy" ... those are OK but I take offense at being called a troll.

"idiocy" means someone calling itself "geoff" doesn't get the humor.

As for "doofus", I'm not your dad. You'll have to ask your mom. I'm sure she has a list of suspects somewhere.


Posted by: prairiemain at November 16, 2006 10:31 AM (kvtm1)

266 laura, I hope that did not come across as insulting. I would never do that.

Posted by: Tushar D at November 16, 2006 10:33 AM (h76y6)

267 Hey, they were Camels.

It's my brand.

Posted by: Jesus at November 16, 2006 10:43 AM (hNyWr)

268 Ace,
I recommend Chantix,twice/day.It's a scrip,but if you want one called let me know.It's a 3 month scrip;works great.ou'll start at half strength pills,and go to full after i week.Take after breakfast and supper with a full glass of wter.The stuff is great.Cost is$4/day(about)Again,if you want a scrip callled ,let me know.

Posted by: corwin at November 16, 2006 10:43 AM (gBpEK)

269 The article on the MSN homepage this morning is quite appropriate.

Posted by: lauraw at November 16, 2006 10:48 AM (ey6RE)

270 Quitter!

I gave up quitting long ago.

I started smoking, and damn it, I'm going to finish it.

Posted by: natesnake at November 16, 2006 10:55 AM (YcXTT)

271 ZYBAN is the ticket. Never felt more relaxed than when I was quitting with zyban's help

Posted by: Jim at November 16, 2006 10:58 AM (aUK8T)

272 It's whatever it's called, national give into to the social pressure of not smoking day.

It's also the day after a California City made Brave and Courageous step towards saving us from ourselves.

rick moran has a piece on it.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 11:08 AM (QTv8u)

273 My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Posted by: Brother Bluto at November 16, 2006 11:32 AM (eRsMQ)

274 Warden-

your comments echo mine own. Quit smoking years ago by picking up dipping. Hardest damn thing I've ever had to do was quitting dipping.. Copenhagen/Kodiak is pure evil. I'm a year and a half off, have an occasional cigar, and in the last 6 months have stopped thinking about it every day. I went cold turkey, but diametric to other posters, I had to give up alcohol for a while, as nicotine and alcohol seemed inextricably linked. These days my cigars come after a few drinks.

Good luck in your attempt Ace!

Tig

Posted by: tig at November 16, 2006 11:33 AM (BxOPi)

275 Okay, a little negativity here...

Men who smoke cigarettes stink. I'm not talking about the occasional cigar or pipe, I'm talking about the chain smoker types with the stale smoke smell that gets into everything. The smoker doesn't notice it because smoking ruins his olfactory organs (look it up). There's not a bigger turn-on than a guy who smells nice. There's not a bigger turn-off than a guy who doesn't. Of course, that only matters to you men who want to get laid on occasion...and you all know who you are.

And the female chain smokers may get that sexy Kathleen Turner husky voice...but that's only sexy until the woman starts looking like a shriveled anchovy at approximately 28 years of age. Nothing destroys the texture of your skin faster than a smoking habit. Guys may be able to pull off a little swarthiness, but women look like Michael Dukakis in drag. Don't take my word for it; can't you always tell who the female smokers are just by looking? They're usually the lanky ones with the prune-like skin. And you do NOT want to hear them cough, unless you like the sound of mucus-laced gears grinding.

But, that's just my opinion. It's still your choice to do it.

Posted by: bbeck at November 16, 2006 12:00 PM (qF8q3)

276 "idiocy" means someone calling itself "geoff" doesn't get the humor.

Yep, it didn't read as funny at all. But then I was coming down from a moonbat-kicking mood, so maybe I saw what I wanted to see. So I re-read it this morning - still no funny.

But if the comment was entirely tongue-in-cheek, I apologize.

Posted by: geoff at November 16, 2006 12:09 PM (2d9Ny)

277 q. Do you smoke after sex?

a. I don't know, I never looked.

Posted by: RJ Reynolds at November 16, 2006 12:29 PM (hNyWr)

278 Phil. "Do you think I should offer her a cigarette?

RJ. "Oh yeah, that'd be smoove".

Phil. "What if she doesn't smoke"?

RJ. "Are you kidding? Look at her prune-like skin".

Posted by: Phillip Morris at November 16, 2006 12:31 PM (hNyWr)

279 I like Alan Rickman.
Nice Deb,
Alan Rickman is a world-class moonbat. He directed the hagiography of Rachel Corrie. Is he a great movie villian? Yes. A certified moonbat? Double yes.

Posted by: Paulitics at November 16, 2006 12:48 PM (BPwgd)

280 ONE (just one) sweet strawberry or chocolate flavored bidi will stain your fingers yellow for half a week.

Once you get em burning, the end of the cigarette occaisonally leaks drops of something that looks (and stains) like iodine, but contains enough nicotene to send you straight to heaven.

And they're cheap.

The only problem with bidis is they're hard to find, they tend to smell more like cigars in the sense that the smell lingers (but they smell like the flavors, ie like strawberry or cinamon -- but still you're sinking up the place) and you can't light up in a restaurant or something.

Partly because of the smell, but also partly because half the people who see you smoking them will refuse to beleive you're telling the truth when you say they're legal.

Cuz they're brown and hand-rolled in a leaf.

Fuggin awesome.

Posted by: Entropy at November 16, 2006 12:49 PM (m6c4H)

281 ONE (just one) sweet strawberry or chocolate flavored bidi will stain your fingers yellow for half a week.......

Heres what I read.

"ONE (just one) sweet strawberry... gaystuff...more gay stuff....gay....gaygaygay....gay....gay gay. FABULOUS!"

Sorry.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 16, 2006 12:53 PM (QTv8u)

282 Heres what I read.

Well somebody who's too much of a pussy to breath burning iodine and tar and spit smoke is awfully keen to seperate himself from homosexuality....

You wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in a Pennsylvania coal mine, nancy.

Posted by: Entropy at November 16, 2006 01:11 PM (m6c4H)

283 I have to wonder if I'm not the troll in question, but I don't remember being one here. Much.

Here's a great way to quit smoking: meet a girl you really like, get into a relationship without letting her know you're a smoker, and then when she does find out be forced to choose between smoking and love. Worked really well for me, and I never think of smoking now, not even for a second, although I smoked for almost 20 years.

Killing drifters for pleasure, on the other hand, is impossible to quit.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at November 16, 2006 01:11 PM (RIFxH)

284 Ace, I second (or whatever number we're at) the responsible use of Zyban and the patch. It took me two tries with the Zyban, but it worked very well the second time because I was ready for the effect that the drug had on me; a little cotton headed and a spike in sex drive (umm, your mileage may vary). I also used the patch (and being the cheap b*st*rd I am I just weaned myself off by cutting the strongest patches down into halves, thirds and then quarters-cuz they charge the same price for the weak assed ones), so I was on Zyban for 3 weeks and the patch for 2.

The bottom line is that you are better off choosing not to smoke than trying to quit, because the difference is control rather than feeling like you're missing out on something.

Good luck and pink lungs!

Posted by: John H at November 16, 2006 01:38 PM (Pay8H)

285 Pennsylvania coal mines, yeah you gotta be tough for that work.


Heh, we were a lumber town, which was no better. Giant saws, falling trees, and boom operators (guys that would ride on top of logs using a long stick to guide them to lumber pens down the river, like a gondola guy in Venice, only very deadly). If boom operators fucked up, they would get stuck under the logs, and usually either drown because the logs would keep them under or they would be crushed coming up for air...

Posted by: Sinistar at November 16, 2006 02:00 PM (fzmgK)

286 Screw quitting. Just get the lungbrush.

Actually, I've never smoked, but I know how hard it was for my mother to quit.

Posted by: physics geek at November 16, 2006 02:40 PM (KqeHJ)

287 Hey

More power to you. I had my last one over 3 years ago. Every time I quit I ended up having to do it a different way. Last time it was the Nicorettes and the Lozenges. The instruction for Nicorettes is basically to chew and then sock it in a pocket between your gums and cheek. I go to an old old family practitioner and he gave me some very good advice. He said go for the surge. Chew for longer before you sock it away. What the bad boy misses the most is the surge. I found the lozenges to be pretty good on the surge without doing anything else.

One last tip. When you think you have finally got it whipped, you probably haven't. So keep some nicorrettes and lozenges handy for years. If nothing else this is a good secrutity blanket.

Good luck

Joe

Posted by: Joe Reich at November 16, 2006 02:55 PM (eijiw)

288 Now if I could only quit drinking Coffee.

I'm lucky, all Tobacco makes me sick, even a lightly puffed cigar.

Posted by: River Cocytus at November 16, 2006 03:34 PM (K4dzH)

289 you're fucked.

Posted by: mickie at November 17, 2006 12:10 AM (nEA54)

290 Ace, this is the only thing you want to buy and you want to keep smoking while you read the entire book.

Here's the website:

www.theeasywaytostopsmoking .com
[you have to get rid of the space between "smoking" and ".com" because of your spam filter]

...but really, you only need the book.

It's so incredibly easy I simply can't describe it. It's also the best selling book ever on the subject.

I struggled for years to quit and could not. I met a man who hung out with us smokers, but never smoked. He saw how much and often I attempted to quit, but couldn't.

He told me about the book that he read and immediately quit smoking and how easy it was. He told me he'd recommended it to all of his smoking friends, but only seven had read the entire book (it's a short book).

They all quit. Each one.

I did too, it was so easy I couldn't even tell you what month not to mention what day it was and I would have a tough time nailing down the year. It was that easy and automatic.

Posted by: Christoph at November 17, 2006 01:26 AM (L8rdZ)

291 It's about frakkin' time some other poor sucker joined me in this misery. I'm on my 3rd day now Ace and let me tell you it only gets worse. Dumbass effin'... Oh but then there are the REALLY bad days. And another thing, why the hell are all the world's most stoopid people coming out of the woodwork right now? It's a frakkin' conspiracy. They know I quit. Bastards.

Posted by John at November 15, 2006 08:35 PM

This is the wrong approach. The one I mentioned above the right one. Please read the book.

Posted by: Christoph at November 17, 2006 01:31 AM (L8rdZ)






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