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At the White House

The WH has asked some bloggers who pushed on the earmark reform bill to witness the signing of it into law tomorrow morning. I've never been in the White House; I pretty much have to go.

I guess I'll go to that Pajamas Media panel down there, too.

I had an idea earlier that I might spend a little time in DC at the end of the month, becausse I'd briefly considered taking a one-month sublet down there. Thought it might be cool to live in DC, if only for a month. Then I thought later I might try to spend a week down there. I blew that idea off, until today.

Hey, I've never been anywhere near the President. Again-- gotta go.

So I'm scrambling right now. Tomorrow at 9am. They don't give you much by way of notice, do they?

I'll keep blogging until around 5:30 or six tonight, then I'm on a plane. I'm not really talking the week off or anything; I'll just be blogging from DC. Have laptop, will travel.

And... um... I know I've made a lot of jokes about strangling hobos, but, given a security check is being done as we speak, maybe it's best not to bring those jokes up. Thanks for understanding.

Posted by: Ace at 03:11 PM



Comments

1 Congratulations (I think) and enjoy your trip!

Posted by: HayZeus at September 25, 2006 03:16 PM (RHxVZ)

2 WHOA. Extremely cool. Congratulations!

Who'd a thunk that starting a moronblog to make fun of Oliver Willis might actually get you in to meet the President?

Posted by: See-Dubya at September 25, 2006 03:19 PM (UloJG)

3 The White House is REALLY COOL.  Get there early and find a ride.  If you've got a GOP congressman, he can take you over and park.  If not, get a cab.  Small digital camera is a must.  Wear socks!  Congrats!

Posted by: kempermanx at September 25, 2006 03:19 PM (qvT/A)

4 If anything, they may keep you out for your own safety. I heard Dick likes to shoot lawyers. NTTAWWT.

Posted by: Entropy at September 25, 2006 03:20 PM (m6c4H)

5 I just had a flash of Forrest Gump going to the White House.

If Bush asks to see your hernia scar, don't show him.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 25, 2006 03:23 PM (rnOZq)

6 Ace - great news.

We'll...um..take care of the place for you while you're gone.

Posted by: Slublog at September 25, 2006 03:23 PM (R8+nJ)

7

Good job, Ace!

We're so proud.

Posted by: harrison at September 25, 2006 03:24 PM (glC+s)

8 Congratulations, Ace.  Will you a Allah be sharing a room?

Posted by: Bugler at September 25, 2006 03:25 PM (oKQob)

9 Dizzam.. grats ace! Have fun and don't wipe any boogers on the Prez.

Posted by: spmat at September 25, 2006 03:25 PM (P9eBz)

10 Probably best if you'll leave your dreams of being an amiture proctologist at the gate also.

Posted by: phin at September 25, 2006 03:25 PM (4DWTM)

11 So, we can expect to see a group photo with President Bush, Ace standing in front, proudly thrusting out his manboobs?? Oh, man! Wear something purdy, Ace.

Posted by: Bernard at September 25, 2006 03:26 PM (cAdQp)

12 Nice.

Have fun starting that soft money PAC.

Posted by: Francase at September 25, 2006 03:27 PM (slf9T)

13 Good job, I am guessing my invite got lost in the email. Have fun as the rest of us should probably start preparing for the apocalypse.

Posted by: Steve at September 25, 2006 03:31 PM (S99sK)

14

Earlier I had a five degree seperation with the leader of the free world:

Me - Ace - Allah - Michelle Malkin - Tony Snow - President Bush.

Now it is down to two:

Me - Ace - President Bush

woo-hoo! I feel connected.

Way to go, Ace!

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:32 PM (m1bmI)

15 One small step for morons, one giant leap for moronkind.

Good luck Ace, and try not to drink too much Val-U-Rite before going, there are enough stains on the Oval Office floor from the last administration.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 03:32 PM (GTXln)

16 Congrats Ace!

Right now, I'm picturing Ace as Nightcrawler from X Men 2 streaking through the White House. Heh...

Posted by: Evil Chihuahua at September 25, 2006 03:33 PM (mAhn3)

17 Oh, and no sticking gum on the underside of chairs in the oval room. We are not into defiling the Office of the President anymore.

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:34 PM (m1bmI)

18 Our little blogger-boy is all grown up!

*snif* I'm so proud of you!

Posted by: Mikey NTH at September 25, 2006 03:34 PM (O9Cc8)

19 Ace, you're going to laugh when I tell you this, but where nice socks.

When everybody's distracted and you're standing in the crowd of bloggers, quietly slip off your shoes, and rub your feet on the lawn. You'll be glad you did.

I'm not kidding-- the WH lawn is a work of fucking art. Every time I was on the South Lawn I took a moment to do that. Weird? Yeah, but no weirder than my boss getting a blowjob while I was rubbing my bare feet on the greatest lawn in the world.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 25, 2006 03:35 PM (7rOET)

20

Evil Chihuahua,

that's weird, but somehow Ace and Nightcrawler seem very much alike.

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:35 PM (m1bmI)

21 Which other bloggers are going to be there?

Posted by: Andrew at September 25, 2006 03:35 PM (e9xdO)

22 Ummm, make that "wear."

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 25, 2006 03:36 PM (7rOET)

23 Now we'll be able to act like you're a sellout for not yelling at him about illegal immigration and stuff. "You were right there in ear shot and you didn't yell anything? You neo-rino-con ziono-o'ryley!"

Posted by: Dave Munger at September 25, 2006 03:38 PM (ebGbi)

24 Congratulations. Do the world a favor and keep your pants on while you're there, ok?

Posted by: El Miguel at September 25, 2006 03:38 PM (HU4Da)

25 I hear Dave @ Garfield Ridge has a spare room in the attic, maybe he'll hook a brother up.

Congratulations ace.

Posted by: Pupster at September 25, 2006 03:39 PM (NMGPj)

26 Tushar,

After much thought, both Kurt Wagner and Ace seem to live by the AoS Lifestyle:

Fact: both live by themselves

Fact: both like to dress up

Fact: both like to hit the sauce

Fact: two hot women can show up at their place and pretty much nothing will happen

Yup! They're one and the same!

Posted by: Evil Chihuahua at September 25, 2006 03:40 PM (mAhn3)

27 Not coincidentally, Andrew Sullivan is offering a one month sublet.

If you're a non-smoker and like beagles ... you're in like Flynn.


-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at September 25, 2006 03:42 PM (fKuTe)

28 Ace, you should get the picture of Cheney and get him to sign it.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 03:42 PM (GTXln)

29 BumperStickerist, is beagle a code-word for something?

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:44 PM (m1bmI)

30 I'm gonna repeat my advice after seeing Ace vs. the Broke Tank on FoxNews: GET A HAIRCUT! 



Congratulations!

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at September 25, 2006 03:45 PM (s7Ian)

31 "Ace, you should get the picture of Cheney and get him to sign it."

Better yet, pull up the a couple of the Cheney threads and let him read them.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 25, 2006 03:48 PM (rnOZq)

32 Hey, let's throw a few bucks in the tip jar for Ace's trip. We don't want him showing up in a stained t-shirt. He'll need a little walking around money, too.

Posted by: Rosemarie at September 25, 2006 03:49 PM (XtKkb)

33 JackStraw, Dick Cheney's **** will eat Ace alive!

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:49 PM (m1bmI)

34 Enjoy, Ace. Meeting the President was one of the greatest experiences in my brief 29 years on this planet. I've had the opportunity to meet him a few times since and it's still exciting. Enjoy. Not many people ever get that close during their entire lives.

Oh, and don't worry if you get tongue-tied. I did the first time (April of '01). I still laugh about it to this day.

Oh, and you can stay in our basement. I won't tell my wife.

Posted by: The Hort at September 25, 2006 03:54 PM (qy2Ff)

35 Grab me one of them ashtrays.

Posted by: iowahawk at September 25, 2006 03:55 PM (C9YlT)

36 Please, Cheney already knows about the interesting facts and nods approvingly, Cheney knows all.



Cheney once used his cock like a greatmace and snapped a bison's neck in one hit.


Ace, I hear if you bring Cheney a board and nail, he'll unzip, hammer the nail through in one hit and then sign the board.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 03:55 PM (GTXln)

37 Ask Rove if you can be a bit player in one of his plots.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 03:57 PM (GTXln)

38 I'm betting the Secret Service are gonna love greeting a guy at the White House who goes by the name of Allah.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 25, 2006 03:58 PM (rnOZq)

39 Congratulations, Ace. Will you a Allah be sharing a room?
Heh. Malkin associates don't get invites to the WH.

Posted by: Allah at September 25, 2006 03:59 PM (3+if1)

40 Congrats Ace.

If you run into Rove ask him to show you the mind control machine, it's got to be around there somewhere. Oh and since he rigs the elections, if you could get an exact count on how the House and Senate are going to shake out you could make a fortune betting on it.

Posted by: Drew at September 25, 2006 03:59 PM (Y2fNF)

41 Sinistar, you are out of loop on this one. If Ace is the NightCrawler, Karl Rove is William Stryker, who injects Ace with Mind Control juices to do his bidding.

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 03:59 PM (m1bmI)

42 This is going to be the greatest practical joke in the history of the internet!

I mean, um, the "opportunity of a lifetime". That's the ticket.

Posted by: See-Dubya at September 25, 2006 04:01 PM (UloJG)

43 True allah, Michelle's pretty tough on the admin.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 04:01 PM (GTXln)

44 Sinistar, you are out of loop on this one. If Ace is the NightCrawler, Karl Rove is William Stryker, who injects Ace with Mind Control juices to do his bidding.


I have no idea what any of that means...

/not an Xmen fan
//Never really got into it

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 04:04 PM (GTXln)

45 That's okay. If they thought we were tough on them before, now I'm gonna fuck 'em sideways.

Posted by: Allah at September 25, 2006 04:04 PM (3+if1)

46 Troubling thing is: when it comes to the Karl, William Stryker and Jason are the same person!

Posted by: Tushar D at September 25, 2006 04:05 PM (m1bmI)

47 Way to go Snugglupagus!

Coincidentally, I was thinking about visiting me some 'bush' today, but not quite the same thing. Mmm...pristine, well-manicured lawns.

Posted by: Feisty at September 25, 2006 04:06 PM (2Oi8H)

48 Very cool Ace.

Ask one of the staffers if you can get one of the pens that he uses to sign, it would be a great commemorative of the event.

Posted by: mesablue at September 25, 2006 04:06 PM (DzeyU)

49 Hey, Allah, do HA accounts expire from inactivity?

I signed up in the first day or so, and haven't bothered to see if it works, I figured I'd ask since you were here.

I do enjoy HA, and you do a good job.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 04:10 PM (GTXln)

50 Ace, if there is a group picture, make sure you get if front in the middle and do the vogue thing.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 25, 2006 04:14 PM (rnOZq)

51 Yeah, pose like a feminista, baby.

Posted by: mesablue at September 25, 2006 04:15 PM (DzeyU)

52 Ace is going to get detained for stealing office supplies. He'll be walking all slow, and a pen falls out, the Secret Service stops him, gives himm a good shake, and paper, pens, pencils, pencil holders, paperclips toner and ink cartridges fall out of his clothes.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 04:17 PM (GTXln)

53 Congratulations.

I know I've made a lot of jokes about strangling hobos,

You were joking? Uh, in that case, what should I do with all these...nevermind.

Posted by: slatz at September 25, 2006 04:21 PM (tFsDX)

54 Ace at the White House? What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: spongeworthy at September 25, 2006 04:23 PM (uSomN)

55 Ace, if there is a group picture, make sure you get if front in the middle and do the vogue thing.

Do the "rabbit ears" thing with your fingers behind Bush's head.  Hell, if the press gets all worked up about someone wearing sandals to meet him, that should kill!

Posted by: wiserbud at September 25, 2006 04:26 PM (AQGeh)

56 Just don't dress like a damn slut. And for God's sake, don't pose with your tits poking out! hehe.

Posted by: Mark at September 25, 2006 04:30 PM (KhRmU)

57 I'm beginning to smeall a rat here. One week waterboarding is approved and the next week Ace just happens to get an invite to the White House.

Ace, if part of the tour includes a free trip to an exotic Caribbean Island, you might want to take a pass. Oh, and you don't know me.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 25, 2006 04:34 PM (rnOZq)

58 Future Fark Headline [Asinine] Blogger Ace of Spades streaks through Oval Office, steals office supplies, vomits on OvalOffice carpet and passes out. Jailarity ensues.

Posted by: Sinistar at September 25, 2006 04:39 PM (GTXln)

59 Should we not mention that the AoSHQ recently accepted a shipment of surplus Katyushas?

You never know when the infidels will try to raid the goat porn collection. We need them to protect the vaults. Surely the Secret Service will understand.

Posted by: JimK at September 25, 2006 04:40 PM (wBfCt)

60

Congratulations, Ace

I hope you have time to clean up a little bit.

Posted by: Nice Deb at September 25, 2006 04:45 PM (9ftXk)

61 Say hi to Bushie for me.

Posted by: Captain America at September 25, 2006 04:47 PM (Imoux)

62

See if you can get a penis pump through the security check.

Posted by: lauraw at September 25, 2006 04:51 PM (I8BI7)

63 ace, don't suck.

Posted by: Mole Molinsky at September 25, 2006 05:06 PM (6Whgo)

64 ace, don't suck.

How do you think he got the gig in the first place?

Posted by: bbeck at September 25, 2006 05:10 PM (qF8q3)

65 This is pretty cool. Someday I'll get to say "I remember when the..." but I probably won't bother.

Good job, man, best of luck on a pain- and humiliation-free experience.

Posted by: leoncaruthers at September 25, 2006 05:14 PM (7iTO9)

66 Make sure the photo-op includes "bloggers of color." Cuz payback's a bitch.

Posted by: quiggs at September 25, 2006 05:22 PM (rXafI)

67 Ace,

Right when you get in the White House ask to use the restroom. When you are in there pry open a small section of your zipper and pull one of your balls through then go out and meet the President with one of your balls hanging out. Be sure to scratch it right before you shake his hand.

If anyone asks tell them that you are trying to have a baby and your spiritual healer told you that not wearing pants or underwear would really help your chances, but that since you are still trying to get yourself taken off the sex offender registry from the last time your spiritual healer told you not to wear pants/underwear you decided to split the difference and just let one ball hang out because that's all you figure it takes anyway.

If the President asks who your spiritual healer is drop you pants and say "Meet Rev. Feelgood". Under no circumstances should you ask the President if he wants to shake the Reverand's hand. Just assume it since that is the polite thing to do.

Posted by: Big E at September 25, 2006 05:49 PM (uw1/g)

68

I just want to say "Good luck - we're all counting on you"

 

Posted by: Dr. Rumack at September 25, 2006 05:50 PM (d6bNm)

69 Once outside the govt enclaves, D.C. is grim.

I can organize a weapons drop on about 18 hours notice if the situation becomes truly desperate.

Suggest staying up in Maryland and driving down to minimize exposure. There's a town just outside the Baltimore beltway I stay at when passing through - Cockysville. The relative level of mutants and freaks in Cockysville is quite low.

Then you can say you spent A Night In Cockysville™ which is the title of my next porn production.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 25, 2006 05:57 PM (ZVOjz)

70 If you get the chance, ask Bush if he needs some guest-bloggers.

Posted by: Michael at September 25, 2006 06:06 PM (LPlsm)

71 ace, ask Bush if he cares about the millions of children with no health care.

Posted by: stupid typical fucking moonbat at September 25, 2006 06:13 PM (FeWq8)

72

Should I post a Cool Facts About the Secret Service thread this evening?

Posted by: lauraw at September 25, 2006 06:18 PM (DbybK)

73 What the fuck is earwax reform?

Posted by: allswell at September 25, 2006 06:42 PM (QzpJo)

74 Congrats Ace.

Posted by: Taleena at September 25, 2006 06:44 PM (6aS70)

75 That frackin' rocks. Have a great time!

Posted by: Anwyn at September 25, 2006 07:42 PM (ohv0R)

76

Ace,

Except for the troll at 67 it is clear we are happy you made the cut.  Don't get too big a hard on. It is  better than an off the street tour, but unless "Darth" has a secret plan, God I hope so, you will have a VERY planned and pleasant visit.

This is not the first time they have done this.  Still, everyone knows how special it is to anyone who comes, and they do a hell of job.  You will leave understanding that you are a very important person.  It worked for me, and it will work for you.

No wonder Clinton could sell sleep overs for a milliion bucks, at our expense.

Don't go hung over and I repeat, wear socks!!

 

 

Posted by: kempermanx at September 25, 2006 07:57 PM (Wc54u)

77 *deep drag on cigarette in holder*

"I suggest you put on a tie"!

Posted by: Frau Blücher at September 25, 2006 08:07 PM (GUy3v)

78 Congratulations!  You earned it.

If you want any tips on DC, let me know, I am a local.

Posted by: PinDC at September 25, 2006 08:51 PM (Jmawy)

79 I think Bush would love Ace's humor. That is, if he is joking. If not, then nevermind...

Posted by: Sue at September 25, 2006 08:56 PM (6vbDF)

80 And... um... I know I've made a lot of jokes about strangling hobos, but, given a security check is being done as we speak, maybe it's best not to bring those jokes up. Thanks for understanding.

You were joking? Dude, I thought I knew you. We were like fellow travelers on the railways of life and shit.

Posted by: hobo killer at September 25, 2006 09:01 PM (AlU3k)

81 If you see Laura Bush, ask her if she's into Betsy.

Posted by: Ian S. at September 25, 2006 09:09 PM (d4gY9)

82 See you there, man.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at September 25, 2006 09:15 PM (Pt3Le)

83 Wait, did you say the White House? Never mind - I won't be anywhere near the White House.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at September 25, 2006 09:19 PM (Pt3Le)

84 Well, you might as well see if anybody there has seen Joe while you're at it.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 25, 2006 09:23 PM (P4zSX)

85 White House? You silly bastard, I said White Castle.

Oh man this is gonna be embarassing.

Posted by: Pajamas Media at September 25, 2006 09:36 PM (rnOZq)

86 Ace, make John Riggins proud!!!

Posted by: jmon at September 25, 2006 10:57 PM (nZ14k)

87 Ohhhh, White Castle sliders. Haven't had one of those in at least 5 years.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 25, 2006 11:39 PM (ZVOjz)

88

Does Ace own a suit and tie?

Congradulations.  To think one day a moron, the next thing he's sharing time with a tank on Fox and now with the President.  How long will it be before he's walking the red carpet? (and not at the House O Hookers, not that there is anything wrong with that).

Posted by: SJR at September 25, 2006 11:50 PM (YG9XY)

89 Oh, and I'm going to be the first to ask for Ace's autograph! 

Posted by: SJR at September 25, 2006 11:51 PM (YG9XY)

90

Except for the troll at 67...

Hey! Since when is Big E a troll? That's just his way of expressing his happiness.

Posted by: Nice Deb at September 26, 2006 12:11 AM (9ftXk)

91 Hobo's? Please.... They are 'urban outdoorsmen.' They belong to the genus 'sittus inownurine.'

Posted by: baboy at September 26, 2006 12:43 AM (skBQT)

92 Congrats Acey!

Posted by: Karol at September 26, 2006 01:28 AM (D7glQ)

93 I haven't gotten anything done recently. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I haven't been up to anything these days, but it's not important. Today was a total loss.

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