Brad Pitt Wants To Go Gay

He's desperate to make a gay movie? Wasn't that Troy?

HOLLYWOOD ladykiller Brad Pitt has ordered aides to find him a GAY movie role.
The 42-year-old actor is desperate to cash in on the success of gay cowboy movie Brokeback Mountain, which is up for countless awards.
Brad — who is expecting a baby with Angelina Jolie — wants to find a script which portrays the “ultimate gay love story”.
A source said: “Brad has asked his people to find him a script to play a gay man.
“He wants it to be a story that appeals to both men and women and he wants it to be the edgiest work he’s done.

In related, sad news, JeffB's head just exploded.

Thanks to Mike B.

Posted by: Ace at 11:09 AM

Comments

1 Thurman and Louis

Brad could play the Sarandon part.
Chris Klein could play Geena's.

------------------------------------

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 01, 2006 11:19 AM (9XMl6)

2 Though, upon reflection, thanks to digital cinematic technology, wouldn't a movie wherein the 42 year old Brad Pitt falls in love with 'A River Runs Through It' Brad Pitt be the ultimate Gay love story?

You'd end up with a film containg some hot Brad on Brad action.

.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 01, 2006 11:24 AM (9XMl6)

3 Isn't any movie Brad Pitt is in, by default, a gay movie?

Posted by: Brian B at February 01, 2006 11:27 AM (rGfpg)

4 Just make the sequel to Interview with the Vampire, right?

Posted by: joeindc44 at February 01, 2006 11:27 AM (8TcCs)

5 “He wants it to be a story that appeals to both men and women and he wants it to be the edgiest work he’s done."

I may be wrong and have been so in the past, but I see little chance of a "gay" movie being successful with both men and women. The only reason BBM is considered a success is because it didn't cost anything to make it. Putting "gay" front and center and pushing it down the peeps' throats won't play in Peoria, Des Moines, or Memphis, not to mention nearly any other place on earth. No wonder he abandoned Aniston for the sexually ambiguous Jolie. I beginning to wonder who's the beard or if they're bi-bearded couple.

Posted by: at February 01, 2006 11:30 AM (4f6qM)

6 The unsigned post above was mine. I'm a retard sometimes, ... well, most of the time.

Posted by: Laddy at February 01, 2006 11:32 AM (4f6qM)

7 Speaking of Andrew Sullivan,

He was the conservative commentator on Anderson Cooper's CNN post-SOTU segment. Arianna Huffington was the liberal.

Go figure.

.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at February 01, 2006 11:42 AM (9XMl6)

8 Angelina Jolie is sexually ambiguous? Really?

Posted by: Jake at February 01, 2006 11:44 AM (9fqQi)

9 Isn't any movie Brad Pitt is in, by default, a gay movie?

Brad B, did you even watch Fight Club? Give the man credit where credit is due.

(For that matter, I'd throw in Seven and Twelve Monkeys, too.)

Posted by: utron at February 01, 2006 11:50 AM (CgIkY)

10 Err, I meant "Brian B," of course. No disrespect intended.

Posted by: utron at February 01, 2006 11:51 AM (CgIkY)

11 I have never felt more sympathy for the modern gay community than I do at this moment.

Posted by: LabRat at February 01, 2006 11:55 AM (B3KFH)

12 "Putting "gay" front and center and pushing it down the peeps' throats..."

WHOA, bad choice of words.

Why doncha throw in "All this leaves a bad taste in my mouth" while you're at it?

Posted by: bbeck at February 01, 2006 12:00 PM (qF8q3)

13 Jolie goes both ways according to Follywood and other reports.

See here for one

Posted by: Laddy at February 01, 2006 12:02 PM (4f6qM)

14 How about a remake of "Cool Hand Luke" with Brad playing Dragline? Jake Glyllenhallovitchski could play Luke, while Harvey Fierstein would be perfect in Strother Martin's old role.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at February 01, 2006 12:03 PM (Ffvoi)

15 So how does the modern gay community differ from the unmodern one, LabRat?

Posted by: Laddy at February 01, 2006 12:05 PM (4f6qM)

16 I don't doubt that Jolie likes the ladies, but Laddy seemed to be implying above that she is somehow androgynous...

Posted by: Jake at February 01, 2006 12:05 PM (B6q+j)

17 Look, Brad knocked up Angelina Jolie. This dude's got nothing to prove, in my book. He could turn into another Engelbert Humperdinck and still be the envy of men everywhere.

Posted by: Monty at February 01, 2006 12:09 PM (/V4PN)

18 Don't forget about Meet Joe Black, which was really damn gay as well.

Posted by: Sadie at February 01, 2006 12:10 PM (cP0Aq)

19 "Look, Brad knocked up Angelina Jolie. This dude's got nothing to prove, in my book. He could turn into another Engelbert Humperdinck and still be the envy of men everywhere."

Ew, Monty, you're talking about an orifice that permitted Billy Bob Thorton to penetrate it. I just don't think that planting your seed in such well-trodden (and un-picky) ground should be considered an accomplishment, let alone one to be envied.

But I'm a hetero female, so maybe I'm not the best person to comment.

Posted by: bbeck at February 01, 2006 12:16 PM (qF8q3)

20 Fight Club was hot, but Ed Norton made that movie. Pitt was window dressing. He's not a man's man at all. I can't stand him.

Is Jolie his beard? Or, does she need the beard? Do bi/lesbians use beards?

Ambiguity is so confusing.

Posted by: KevlarChick at February 01, 2006 12:17 PM (H3UU4)

21 Imitation Spoetry:

Jake Gyllllenhhhaall is about to be TYPECAST as more of a cahtcher than YOGI BERRA

Posted by: skinbad at February 01, 2006 12:19 PM (SwH/f)

22 Jake, I was using the term ambiguous based on my take of her seemingly uncertain sexual orientation, not that there's anything wrong with that per se. She may indeed know what she prefers or doesn't. Androgenous is based on physical appearance and I wasn't going there. Personally I don't care one way or the other where she orients (if that's the correct term). I have my own issues.

bbeck, I said what I said, nothing more and nothing less, and that's the "long" and "short" of it, but I digress.

Posted by: Laddy at February 01, 2006 12:19 PM (4f6qM)

23 Ew, Monty, you're talking about an orifice that permitted Billy Bob Thorton to penetrate it.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I'd forgotten all about that. (And now I remember that Billy Bob and Angelina wore a little vial of each other's blood around their necks as a token of their "everlasting love". I wonder what they did with the vials?)

They're all freaks anyway, so I'm ashamed that I even cared enough to comment in the first place.

Posted by: Monty at February 01, 2006 12:24 PM (UdJCa)

24 Well-trodden and definately not hot. Jeez, she's got the profile of a Neanderthal. There's a picture to do a caption contest with.

Posted by: Otho Laurence at February 01, 2006 12:27 PM (R9O/9)

25 did you even watch Fight Club?

No.

As for the Brad B mixup, I'll forgive you.

This once.

Regarding Jolie: She looks hot, but bbeck has a point. Remember being told as a child, "Don't put that in your mouth! You don't know where it's been"? Something tells me that safe sex with Angelina Jolie would require a hazmat suit, not just a condom!

Posted by: Brian B at February 01, 2006 12:27 PM (rGfpg)

26 lol@ Laddy. I agree with you and I think the main people who have seen BBM are the gay community, meterosexuals who get an ego boost from considering themselves open-minded, and people who have NO clue what the movie's about (and I actually know someone just like that). All in all, not a real big chunk of audience to consider when making films.

And I do NOT care if Pitt plays a gay or not. I have never thought he was much to look at although I do think he can act given the right role.

But, if any of the main actors from "Band of Brothers" played gay I think I'd cry like a baby.

Posted by: bbeck at February 01, 2006 12:28 PM (qF8q3)

27 Personally, I would consider the distinction being whether you can be arrested and/or legally barred from large sectors of the job market, rather than being at risk of having Hollywood's simpering attention.

Since you ask.

Posted by: LabRat at February 01, 2006 12:29 PM (B3KFH)

28 Monty, it's okay. We can all be swayed by a pretty face now and then.

Posted by: bbeck at February 01, 2006 12:30 PM (qF8q3)

29 They could do a remake of that movie where Superman's Otis gets to "squeal like a pig"

Posted by: Madfish Willie at February 01, 2006 12:35 PM (nVA0o)

30 Look, I know Angelina is gorgeous, but come on guys! She could be the woman the character Glenn Close played in 'Fatal Attraction' was based on!

Ace called her something that was perfect. Erotic freak or something like that. Her looks are to die for, and someday, somebody just might.

I honestly think she is that unstable.

Remember when she was all over Thornton at the on the red carpet looking like Cruella? wearing a vial of Thornton's blood? THAT is the real Angelina. What you see now is ACTING. For the sole purpose of keeping her dad from calling the men in the white jackets.

Brad is getting exactly what he deserves.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 01, 2006 12:36 PM (X7uuV)

31 I'm with you RWS.

And she can't be too bright either.
You have to be a moron to steal a married man.

What have you got? Someone who will ditch you for the next tart in line.

Stupid, stupid.

Posted by: lauraw at February 01, 2006 12:40 PM (fqUlX)

32 And she can't be too bright either.

And nowhere near as funny as the Ladies AoSHQ, whose wit grants them a divine hottiehood..

Posted by: geoff at February 01, 2006 12:44 PM (vpYuK)

33 If Brad wants to go gay, and he needs to, ya know, really "get into" the part, this will probably be one of the best tools available to help him, ya know, "become" gay.

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/155006.php

You know what I mean. [wink,wink]

Posted by: wiserbud at February 01, 2006 12:46 PM (AQGeh)

34 not a fan of the puffed up lips.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at February 01, 2006 12:49 PM (/GQTZ)

35 I tell ya what, RWS. Since you are so concerned about Jolie's "stability" I'll have sex with her so you don't have to.

I'm good like that.

Posted by: Jack M. at February 01, 2006 12:54 PM (YpIcX)

36 I think Brad Pitt is a terrible actor, but I'm all for him doing a gay movie. Once the novelty wears off of gay scripts, we'll start to see a normal range of them out of Hollywood. 90% of them will be crap, 9% good, and 1% brilliant, and they'll be common enough that it won't mark you as a homophobe if you wait for the latest gay flick to show up on DVD rather than rushing to the theater.

Posted by: tina at February 01, 2006 12:56 PM (daqNy)

37 Fine Jack M. but if you come home to your wittle pet rabbit boiling on the stove, don't come crying to me.

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 01, 2006 01:00 PM (X7uuV)

38 RWS,

I think I am left with no choice but to quote Thomas jefferson here:

"I pulled into town in a police car.

Your daddy daid I took it just a little too far.

You're telling me things but your girlfriend lied.

You can't catch me cause the rabbit done died".
------Thomas Jefferson to Abigail Adams, Stuff Jefferson Said, 4th Edition.

Posted by: Jack M. at February 01, 2006 01:08 PM (YpIcX)

39 My wife worked with Jolie on her first film - a low budget, gawdawful movie called Cyborg 2. She says that at that time (like '91 -'92) she was very nice and didn't have the hyperinflated personality that keeps the tabloids so well supplied these days.

It was much bigger news when her dad came to the set - she was pretty much a nobody.

Posted by: geoff at February 01, 2006 01:12 PM (vpYuK)

40 "Your daddy daid I took it just a little too far."?

I think that was from Stuff Buckwheat Said.

Posted by: skinbad at February 01, 2006 01:12 PM (SwH/f)

41 Nah..don't do pinning my poor typing skillz on Buckwheat.

It was a TJ quote; I just mangled it.

Historically, it was part of TJ's explanation about how Sally Hemings' kid wasn't really his.

John and Abigail Adams seemed to buy it.

Posted by: Jack M. at February 01, 2006 01:20 PM (YpIcX)

42 For those who think Pitt can't act: see Kalifornia.

Snatch was good, too.

Interview With The Vampire sucked and really qualifies as a gay film considering the plot and cast.

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 01, 2006 02:02 PM (5WEQS)

43 I never said he can't act, I just think he's a miserable human being and don't much care for his style.

Posted by: Brian B at February 01, 2006 02:21 PM (rGfpg)

44 You mean this style?

Posted by: Joe Mama at February 01, 2006 02:27 PM (5WEQS)

45 He wants edgy, he wants true to life, I got it:
A tragic love story set against a backdrop of high tech war.
Abdul, Habeeb and Donkey: Forbidden Love

Posted by: Iblis at February 01, 2006 02:28 PM (9221z)

46 Putting "gay" front and center and pushing it down the peeps' throats

Hee hee!!

Posted by: compos mentis at February 01, 2006 02:33 PM (xHpUK)

47 You mean this style?

Thanks a whole f'ing lot. I think I need a wire brush and a gallon of cheap vodka.

Posted by: Brian B at February 01, 2006 02:39 PM (rGfpg)

48 Brad Pitt is a nit wit he want to play agay role in some crappy movie why dont he just get a life

Posted by: spurwing plover at February 01, 2006 02:39 PM (760E/)

49 Brad Pitt
is a nit wit
he want to play agay
role in some crappy movie
why dont he just
get a life

Posted by: Spoetry at February 01, 2006 02:41 PM (nVA0o)

50 Okay bbeck, so I commented before I read the thread. Sue me.

Pitt was great in 12 Monkeys. My guess is though, that he's already lost a large portion of his female fan base because he cheated on Jennifer. Women like the fantasy of guys who would be faithful to them.

If he does a gay film, he'll lose a bigger portion of his female fans, cuz well, I imagine girls don't like to fantasize about a guy making love to them after he's played tonsil hockey with some guy's schlong.

Why do you think Sam Elliott makes women gush. He's been faithful to Katherine Ross (oh yeah!) all these years, looks f'n crazy and a little bit unstable, and the only stool he's pushed in is a lady's in a bar scene.

Let Pitt play gay. I'm sure for him "It's always been about the [acting]."

Posted by: compos mentis at February 01, 2006 02:47 PM (xHpUK)

51 Oh, and yes, Angelina is beautiful to look at. Then again, so are many poisonous and moraless creatures.

Posted by: compos mentis at February 01, 2006 02:50 PM (xHpUK)

52 Ugh. Thanks for that lovely mental image, Ace. Pitt's a method actor, you know.

That being the case, he might just be looking forward to doing the research for such a role. Best of luck to him in this; if he switches teams, look for a trickle-down effect to improve the overall quality of girls available to us hetero guys. It's true; Reaganomics works!

Posted by: Nucular Nate at February 01, 2006 02:51 PM (+O2jK)

53 Will there ever be a gay-themed thread where my sexuality isn't spuriously impugned?

Posted by: Jeff B. at February 01, 2006 02:54 PM (Ii+Xg)

54 Will there ever be a gay-themed thread where my sexuality isn't spuriously impugned?

Probably not.

Homo.

Posted by: ergishilarious at February 01, 2006 03:00 PM (R8+nJ)

55 erg . . . laughed out loud at that one I did!

Nice slow pitch there Jeff B.

Posted by: compos mentis at February 01, 2006 03:02 PM (xHpUK)

56 Will there ever be a gay-themed thread where my sexuality isn't spuriously impugned?

Well, Jeff B., if you ever really feel under seige, you could just remind folks that utron likes to cuddle. That should give you a few minutes to collect yourself.

Posted by: Rocketeer at February 01, 2006 03:50 PM (pdjUG)

57 you could just remind folks that utron likes to cuddle.

How do YOU know that?

Posted by: Brian B at February 01, 2006 04:09 PM (rGfpg)

58 Well-trodden and definately not hot. Jeez, she's got the profile of a Neanderthal. There's a picture to do a caption contest with.

What, it's the perfect picture of the two dumbest asshats in Hollyweird! Look at 'em, slack-jawed, looking confused (THEY were in Davos at an econ conference? LOL!). They might have pretty faces, but supposedly (and it's not much of a stretch) they don't have a combined IQ over 80. Nothing is uglier than stupid, except maybe batshit crazy and stupid (IOW, Angelina). I hate it for their kid.

And for the record, I'd do Billy Bob Thorton long before dumb fucking CHEAT Brad Pitt, pretty face or not. (I can't stand Jennifer Anniston either, but I do have a heart on occasion..he's a fucking scumbag.)

Monty said:
They're all freaks anyway, so I'm ashamed that I even cared enough to comment in the first place.

Yep, I am too now. Pffft.

Posted by: Beth at February 01, 2006 05:26 PM (yqiXY)

59 None of us should be ashamed here, Monty and Beth. These comments are funny!

Bottom line: we're all secure enough in ourselves to laugh at other people. And isn't that what really matters?

Posted by: Nucular Nate at February 01, 2006 05:31 PM (cmoKD)

60 So Brad Pitt wants to play a gay man in his next movie?

Yeah. Right, play a gay man.

That's like when Ellen DeGeneris played a lesbian on TV.

And yes, Angelina Jolie is a beard. A stinking, slutty, over-tattooed, trailer-trash beard.

Posted by: Red Jode at February 01, 2006 05:37 PM (KeOQp)

61 I gotta defend Angelina here. It's not that she's otherworldly hot (although lately she really has looked beautiful), it's that she looks like she would do stuff in bed that guys that make snuff films in Honduras would think twice about. She puts out such a sexual vibe that it must make men just lose it. Look at those pictures from Davos. Brad Pitt, who could nail anyone he wants, was sitting there FOR her. He looked like he would rather be getting a prostate exam from Vlad the Impaler, yet there he sat. Angelina's vagina must have magical powers.

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 01, 2006 07:08 PM (alGm/)

62 Remake Roadhouse, the gayest movie ever. The repressed love between Dalton and Sam Elliot burns with a heat that could melt sex toys. Dalton loved him so much he was willing to confront the terrifying Ben Gazara. That, my friends, is true love. Pitt would make a good Dalton.

Roadhouse makes Brokeback Mountain look like Glengarry Glen Ross.

Posted by: caspera at February 01, 2006 07:17 PM (jylGY)

63 Dawg,

Wouldn't it suck if Angelina left you for a chick?

snuff films in Honduras

Don't wanna know.

Posted by: KevlarChick at February 01, 2006 07:19 PM (M8lyz)

64 Wouldn't it suck if Angelina left you for a chick?

Kevlar, my dear,
If Angelina left me for a chick, I'd be almost relieved.
I would worry she would leave me for a Sherpa mountain guide or a leopard or something like that.

I'm not arguing that she's the perfect mate, only that she is undeniably sexy.

Posted by: UGAdawg at February 01, 2006 07:42 PM (alGm/)

65 "I'm not arguing that she's the perfect mate, only that she is undeniably sexy."

Have to agree with you UGAdawg. She has that 'I'm in heat" look down pat.

Problem is she is probably like a preying mantis, makes love, then bites the head off her partner.

Posted by: Enfant Perdu at February 02, 2006 07:11 AM (X+ZI/)

66 I don't know, I was pretty disillusioned when I heard this, but then again contradictory rumors surfaced.

I can't fault Jolie's architecture, but the only draw for me was the promise of a grueling trek of sexual discovery. Every night, every hour, a test of my stamina, agility, and even the limits of my mind. Each noon I would rise to my unsteady feet only to find shattered on the floor another of my once cherished scruples. I would blearily peer down, unsure why I had ever had such a thing to begin with. Civilization, with its mores and taboos, would seem a strange alien dream, growing more distant and cloudy with every passing day. In the end, just as the last of my strength and sanity drained away, I would be consumed in a last unholy act of passion, acts that were they to be described would irrevocably damn the listeners, but would probably involve a tattooed Asian lesbian, a coked up leopard, and the entire contents of Jolie's secret psycho-sexual rumpus room. Now a broken, drained husk, I would retreat to a solitary life in my apartment, speaking only occasionally to my neighbors in quiet uninflected monosyllables. They would shun me, for my eyes would be empty, soulless orbs, forever branded by the depravities witnessed. I would survive by writing stories of comprehensive madness and utter horror, though only a fraction of my works would be published as my editor and agent would be creeped the fuck out.

Posted by: Alex_fs at February 02, 2006 10:34 PM (V5U8u)

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