Freaky-Looking New Monkey Species Just Got 70% Freakier

Have you seen this monkey? It's Uncanny Valley weird -- it looks like a bad attempt at a human-looking Funny Monkey Character in a video game. Like Monkey Island or something.

Dude, you're freaking me out.
Stop being weird.

Well, it gets worse.

Not only is this monkey (with its weird blue butt-n-testicles) weird in the first place, but it was apparently prefigured by an addled religious prophecy.

A religious prophecy that compelled a woman to deface a work of art in order to express it.

Her vision was true.

This is like one of those movies where something weird happens and no one really notices and then the same weird thing keeps happening and then it gets kind of alarming and then by the end of the movie it's nothing but this same weird thing everywhere all over the earth.*

Via @rdbrewer4

* I don't know that they've actually made a movie like this, but they should. I'd see it.**

** I guess Knowing is sort of like this.

Posted by: Ace at 06:23 PM

Comments

1 WWJD?

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at September 13, 2012 06:25 PM (feFL6)

2 Meth? What meth?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 13, 2012 06:26 PM (GEICT)

3 JesusMonkey

Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at September 13, 2012 06:26 PM (XrGnJ)

4 Drudge thinks it looks like Hatch Act violator Kathleen Sebelius.

Posted by: The Pitt at September 13, 2012 06:27 PM (rUB/V)

5 I don't see the resemblance.

Oh and you just made the Pope's kill-list! Watch your ass.

Posted by: EC at September 13, 2012 06:27 PM (doBIb)

6 L'il Barry has smaller butts to fuck.
Oops, wrong thread!

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 06:27 PM (1V6Pv)

7 That monkey's balls aren't normally blue, he just hasn't spanked it in over a week. Also, it's an Ewok.

Posted by: mugiwara at September 13, 2012 06:28 PM (rLvxx)

8 Today's good news: Those obese Green Bay Cheeseheads are about to get a good old
fashioned NFC thrashing at the hands of the international terrorist
organization Chicago Bears.

Posted by: Fritz at September 13, 2012 06:28 PM (uRFJj)

9 If you had a face like that you'd probably have blue balls, too.

Posted by: Dang at September 13, 2012 06:29 PM (R18D0)

10 I guess Knowing is sort of like this.

Ohhhh can we discuss Knowing instead of everything else that's making me want to throatpunch people and how I like it more than you do?

I'll start - I actually admire that the movie ends the way that it does, I didn't think they'd have the guts to go through with it. I also like that Our Heroine's response to Crazy Nic Cage is that "You are crazy pants, I am taking these kids go away Mr. Crazy Pants". I still think the freaky guys are the Dark City guys. It has flaws, sure, but it's still interesting and trying to do something a little different so that's good.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Please? at September 13, 2012 06:29 PM (VtjlW)

11 Ace this is an absolutely disgraceful dogwhistle. Shameful.

Posted by: Toure at September 13, 2012 06:29 PM (60GaT)

12 Another stray from the slut-shaming protest?

Posted by: derit at September 13, 2012 06:29 PM (ruiF1)

13
I hate fucking monkeys.

Posted by: soothsayer at September 13, 2012 06:29 PM (hA+ft)

14 Wasn't Knowing where he dreamt the whole thing and he says yes to the phone call?

Posted by: EC at September 13, 2012 06:30 PM (doBIb)

15 Oh and speaking of signs of the end of the world, I have 7 points in the pickem pool. Seven! Not one! We're all fucking dooooooomed.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD. Please? at September 13, 2012 06:31 PM (VtjlW)

16 *having awful flashback of going backstage at the Blue Man Group show*

Posted by: Dang at September 13, 2012 06:31 PM (R18D0)

17 Rhesus Jesus.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:31 PM (JDIKC)

18 Nice catch, ace. Not a coincidence, that's for sure. End times? If not, that's okay. And you're right, weird to boot. Very. Would make for a good movie.

Posted by: eureka! at September 13, 2012 06:31 PM (cTjRR)

19 Finally, someone else points out how the monkey is so disturbing looking. It's like he's about to say "Hiiiii guuuuy" or something. Weirdo.

Posted by: wooga at September 13, 2012 06:31 PM (vjyZP)

20 So which picture is Joe Biden on his meds?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 13, 2012 06:32 PM (4RZZJ)

21 If I were an uneducated, smellypedarast stuck in the 6th century who wasalso partial to fucking goats and enslaving my opposite gender, I'd take umbrage at you comparing a painting of Christ with a fuckin' monkey. But I'm not.

Posted by: MoeRon at September 13, 2012 06:32 PM (yWDpP)

22 That makes fon an awesome avatar. Also, a great, great perfect response to whenever someone posts something stupid.

Posted by: Serious Cat trying to be an HTML hero at September 13, 2012 06:32 PM (zrpqj)

23 I hate fucking monkeys.

Posted by: soothsayer

They always pull the rubber off! Crazy bastards. Good times.

Posted by: Guy who didn't understand, at all at September 13, 2012 06:32 PM (R18D0)

24 Wait..

refresh my memory but when Ace took the no porn oath--wasn't there a reference to--

monkeys?

I think he spanked it.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 06:32 PM (r2PLg)

25 That monkey looks like Sidney Pollack, a known Jew.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:33 PM (JDIKC)

26 I would also add that the empathy in the simian's eyes is very Christlike and knowing.

Posted by: eureka! at September 13, 2012 06:33 PM (cTjRR)

27 As a Concerned Christian Conservative, I'm going to come knock over your embassy, sodomize you, and suffocate you. Then I'm going to hand your corpse over to an angry mob to display in the town square.

Because Jesus.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (EC3+G)

28 EoJ?

Rhesus Christ?

Posted by: ace at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (fxHyG)

29 Ace found Harry Reid's long lost twin.

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (BAnPT)

30 There can be only one Monkey-Faced Messiah.

*insert banworthy punchline*

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (AZGON)

31 O/T but relevant to something... of which I'm totally not sure... but my local talk radio sports station was talking about Clint E's upcoming movie. Since it's pretty much sports related it was right up their alley. It sounds like a chick flick wrapped around a sports theme. I doubt it gets better then that for a couple.

Since I take the wife to about one movie per decade, since Hollywood sucks so much, I might just 'vote with my feet' and drop a few bucks on ol' Clint.

Posted by: Schrödinger's cat at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (feFL6)

32 That monkey looks like an organ grinder.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (r2PLg)

33 Ace, this is satire right? Right?

Posted by: Sukie Tawdry at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (MPtFW)

34
Your own.

Personal.

RHESUS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (JDIKC)

35 ...how much cough medicine have you been taking, Ace?

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (r4wIV)

36 33
Ace, this is satire right? Right?

I hope so...

Posted by: the pink not panicking about one poll formerly known as the hobbit Donna at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (W2Z3C)

37 27 As a Concerned Christian Conservative, I'm going to come knock over your embassy, sodomize you, and suffocate you. Then I'm going to hand your corpse over to an angry mob to display in the town square.

Because Jesus.
Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (EC3+G)

___________________

But only on the way to the hospital.

Posted by: Hillary at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (r2PLg)

38 >> I guess Knowing is sort of like this

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is sort of like that too.

If a plate of mashed potatoes shaped like the Devil's Tower counts.

Posted by: Andy at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (5Rurq)

39 Kiss my blue balls, you stupid humanoids.

Posted by: Monkey Blue Balls at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (yWDpP)

40 What are the little dots on the nose for?

Posted by: Dang, thinking he's saying something smart at September 13, 2012 06:36 PM (R18D0)

41 >> Your own.

Personal.

RHESUS.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (JDIKC)
Hahahaha. Dying here.

Posted by: Andy at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (5Rurq)

42 Cough medicine ain't what it used to be. Although dextromorphan and Coke still hits pretty good.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (EC3+G)

43 Your own.

Personal.

RHESUS.

Depeche Mode:

http://bit.ly/SIUml0

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (AZGON)

44 Reach out and touch face!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (4RZZJ)

45 Rhesus Christ?

Posted by: ace at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (fxHyG)

Judas monkey will just sell him out for thirty bananas...

Posted by: The Political Hat at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (XvHmy)

46 13 I hate fucking monkeys.

Then stop fucking them. ...This one has your eyes.

Posted by: wheatie at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (LdrIf)

47 Democratic Republic of Congo

Heh, when democrats collide with republicans in the Congo

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (BAnPT)

48
I think I used to smoke pot with that guy back in High School.

Posted by: Ed Anger at September 13, 2012 06:38 PM (tOkJB)

49
Dad? ....Is that you?

Posted by: Rand Paul... at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (LdrIf)

50
in b4 praise rhesus!

blasphemers

Posted by: soothsayer at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (0w+w3)

51 Say what you like, but this long-faced fellow never misses his security briefings.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (AZGON)

52
Rhesus Christ?Posted by: ace at September 13, 2012 06:34 PM (fxHyG<<<<__I thought of that, but pulled it at the last second as maybe a bit too blasphemous. Then I got over it. God has a sense of humor.Not when you do it, because you're agnostic, so He's probably super angry at you. But I'm sure it's no big deal because He doesn't exist.Or does He?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (JDIKC)

53 OT/

Watching clip right now of Obama calling Egypt a "frenemy".

Posted by: Serious Cat trying to be an HTML hero at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (zrpqj)

54 That's an ether glaze. Who let the monkey get into the ether?!?!

Posted by: Islamic Mobs at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (WeyP+)

55 Someone mentioned sluts upthread? Allow me....

http://tinyurl.com/9rv42rl

Safe-ish. No nudity

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (GEICT)

56 Totally aces illegitimate kid

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 06:39 PM (EC3+G)

57 Seriously AtC? Because the end of Knowing made me want to drop kick Nicholas Cage straight to heck. Bunnies? Really? Bunnies?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at September 13, 2012 06:40 PM (RZ8pf)

58 #48 - You be so right, bro! Dat's my "uncle Choom". Dad used to get so fuckin' pissed when he bring his beard, we call her "Mooch", wif him to visit us. She eat all the pringles and kill the Colts.

Posted by: LoveChildofMaxineWattersandJesseJacksonJr. at September 13, 2012 06:40 PM (yWDpP)

59 HAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Well done post. I got a laugh out of that.

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 13, 2012 06:40 PM (nTgAI)

60 32
That monkey looks like an organ grinder.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 06:35 PM (r2PLg)

You rang!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke, rhymes with... at September 13, 2012 06:40 PM (BVkEs)

61 I was noticing how much that monkey looked like the Secretary of HHS on Drudge.

Posted by: california red at September 13, 2012 06:41 PM (Ho3p+)

62 I've hired some new restorers to work on the fresco.

http://bit.ly/SIUNvM

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:41 PM (AZGON)

63 The hit '90s song by King Missile about the pseudo-eastern view of spirituality: "Detachable Rhesus"

Posted by: derit at September 13, 2012 06:41 PM (ruiF1)

64 What's kind of creepy is that he has such a sweet kindly expression on his ugly face.

Posted by: monkeyshines at September 13, 2012 06:41 PM (YQHqe)

65 46 13 I hate fucking monkeys.

Then stop fucking them. ...This one has your eyes.
Posted by: wheatie at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (LdrIf)

_________________

LOL!

Son of a Soothie!

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 06:41 PM (r2PLg)

66 That is also one creepy looking monkey

Posted by: The Jackhole at September 13, 2012 06:42 PM (nTgAI)

67 I think I saw subliminal usage of that picture in the most recent Romney ad.

wacist

Posted by: MSDNC troof teller at September 13, 2012 06:42 PM (60GaT)

68 That fresco looks like an Obama cabinet meeting.

Posted by: Islamic Mobs at September 13, 2012 06:42 PM (WeyP+)

69
Then stop fucking them. ...This one has your eyes.
Posted by: wheatie at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (LdrIf)

<<><

LOL!

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:43 PM (JDIKC)

70 You know, this monkey would look great in a bellboy's uniform with wings.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:43 PM (AZGON)

71 What do people mean, "is this satire"?

If you don't remember the story, a woman defaced a centuries-old painting of Jesus in order to attempt to "repair" it. She made it look like a monkey mutant.

Now comes this actual monkey.

I mean, if you're asking "Is he really saying this was a religious prophecy" -- then no. I'm just saying it's kind of funny that this new monkey looks like the old woman's attempt to "fix" Ecce Homo.

Posted by: ace at September 13, 2012 06:44 PM (fxHyG)

72 So do we need to start rioting and burning down an embassy or two?

Posted by: AndrewsDad at September 13, 2012 06:44 PM (C2//T)

73 I think this monkey was chief of security at the Benghazi embassy.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:44 PM (AZGON)

74 EoJ makes a comment and the rest of it just seems so weak. I don't even try anymore.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 06:44 PM (0CiTm)

75 It's a miracle!

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 13, 2012 06:44 PM (Iyg03)

76 Sure, sure, you two. Literally, stick a fucking claymore up the asses of those crazy Christian Crusaders who will rape, kill, and torture you for even thinking that comparing a monkey to an amateur restoration of Christ is a mildly humorous diversion.

Posted by: Fritz at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (uRFJj)

77 I don't know. It sort of looks like an Ewok, doesn't it?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (B6GMq)

78 This is now my Facebook profile photo.

Posted by: RE at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (QTVh2)

79 Looks like Gene Wilder's stunt double from "The Producers."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (+tqYo)

80 Why does Obama keep intercepting the blunt?

Posted by: The Monkey at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (WeyP+)

81 I'll bet if he lived in Chicago, he'd vote Democrat, whether or not he wanted to.

Posted by: mallfly at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (bJm7W)

82 EoJ? Hey, he's okay. He doesn't suck all the oxygen out of the room. Just the bourbon.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:45 PM (AZGON)

83 Ron Paul!

Posted by: The Monkey at September 13, 2012 06:46 PM (WeyP+)

84 It wasn't a movie (i think) but it does sound like a book i read years ago that was so... wierd-bad it stuck with me.

'All Flesh is Grass'.

Everybody turned into plants or plant people. Like I said, wierd-bad.

Posted by: AkRonin at September 13, 2012 06:46 PM (qRw9w)

85 The pic was giving me the heebie jeebies, so I looked up some more images. The monkey doesn't look quite as weird in other shots.

Posted by: Waterhouse at September 13, 2012 06:46 PM (coQNH)

86 79
Looks like Gene Wilder's stunt double from "The Producers."

Bloom: you can't kill the actors, they're not animals!
Bialystok: have you ever eaten with them?

Posted by: mallfly at September 13, 2012 06:47 PM (bJm7W)

87 No what I meant about EoJ is that it's pointless to try and top him for comic tungsten.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 06:47 PM (0CiTm)

88 I'll bet if he lived in Chicago, he'd vote Democrat, whether or not he wanted to.

He doesn't live in Beantown, but he votes there anyway. Straight Democrat ticket. Three times per election.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:47 PM (AZGON)

89
This is like one of those movies where something weird happens and no one really notices and then the same weird thing keeps happening

Huh?

Posted by:: A Distracted Roy Neary Shoveling His Mashed Potatoes into the Shape of a Monkey Head

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (kdS6q)

90 Don't taze me bro.

Posted by: The Monkey at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (WeyP+)

91 So Jesus looked like Abe Vigoda?

Who knew!

Posted by: Nighthawk at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (kHzAE)

92 I guess Knowing is sort of like this.

---------------------------------------------------

"The Trouble With Tribbles"

Posted by: Soona at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (DLx2M)

93 The animals were found in the Democratic Republic of Congo after one was found
in captivity at the home of a schoolteacher.

-------------

Figures.

Posted by: mama winger in paul ryan's district at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (P6QsQ)

94 OT/

I'm kinda bummed. I started my new job this week and found out I'm required to use Windows 7 on my machine. I asked for Windows XP but my new bosses said "no, you'll need to get used to it. Windows 7 is the standard.". I can't stand it. Too busy and unresponsive.

Posted by: Serious Cat at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (zrpqj)

95 Thanks, I'm always looking for a new food source.

Posted by: Barky McFucknut at September 13, 2012 06:48 PM (BVkEs)

96 I can't decide if that monkey resembles Meryl Streep, Christopher Walken, or Owen Wilson....

Posted by: the Butcher at September 13, 2012 06:49 PM (8g9qq)

97 Why didn't Romney go freaky last week??!$%#

Posted by: Reaality Cherk at September 13, 2012 06:49 PM (NRwWP)

98 Go back to porn.

This is weird and very disquieting

Posted by: Ed Gibbon at September 13, 2012 06:50 PM (4eNxd)

99 Too busy and unresponsive.

Turn off all eye candy, fade effects, etc and lower color depth to 16 bit.

Posted by: The Monkey at September 13, 2012 06:50 PM (WeyP+)

100 Of course, you can all say "Modigliani". I know, right!

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 06:50 PM (1V6Pv)

101 Oh, that was perfect. Browsing the post on my phone and didn't see the punch coming until I scrolled.

That was a work of art post.

Posted by: LiveFreeOrDie at September 13, 2012 06:50 PM (NersQ)

102 Damn looks like Reggie escaped. The real reason I replaced him was because he disappointed me one day in the White House elevator. Now you see what the CIA does to those who disappoint me.

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at September 13, 2012 06:50 PM (V6aL5)

103 Is that Mary Kate, or Ashley?

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 13, 2012 06:51 PM (BVkEs)

104 The monkey looks freaky because it's eyes look human.

Posted by: Mayday at September 13, 2012 06:51 PM (F3s39)

105 Look for the monkey in a cheerleader outfit on Saturday.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 06:51 PM (0CiTm)

106 Troll posting what he thinks are discouraging polls on empty thread. Hee hee.

Posted by: Grey Fox at September 13, 2012 06:51 PM (yyiry)

107
It's nice to have a pure comedy thread. Too much rage fuel from Otard these days

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (+yYvY)

108 The Guy Smiley Muppet Monkey

Posted by: Evolution! at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (Eq1HJ)

109 Go back to porn.

See the monkey at the top? Rule 34, baby.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (AZGON)

110 86 79
Looks like Gene Wilder's stunt double from "The Producers."

Bloom: you can't kill the actors, they're not animals!
Bialystok: have you ever eaten with them?
Posted by: mallfly at September 13, 2012 06:47 PM (bJm7W)

"Gut tag por day!!!!!!"

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (+tqYo)

111 @93 If I were drinking Schaefer's, I'd have spat a mouthful of it onto the bar! (pace Frederick Exley, in light of the pending defeat of the Chicago Bears at the hands of the people's Green Bay Packers tonight).

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 06:53 PM (1V6Pv)

112 107
It's nice to have a pure comedy thread. Too much rage fuel from Otard these days
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (+yYvY)

Definitely.

Though, I always vote for more hawt chicks. And less clothing. Don't put out the fire, just change its focus.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 13, 2012 06:53 PM (GEICT)

113 "Here we come,

Walkin' down the street,

Get the funniest looks from,

Everyone me meet...

But first I KEEEEL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 06:53 PM (+tqYo)

114 My high school art teacher, only without the VW van and smug, shit-eating grin.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at September 13, 2012 06:54 PM (cujSl)

115 He looks so nice and sweet, and then he chews your face off.

num,num,num,num,num,num...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 06:55 PM (+tqYo)

116 See the monkey at the top? Rule 34, baby.
Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 06:52 PM (AZGON)

You're right. I should have been more specific. "Normal", you know, juicy chicks and such.

Posted by: Ed Gibbon at September 13, 2012 06:55 PM (4eNxd)

117 Actually, I see a bit of Nicholas Cage in the old boy...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 06:55 PM (+tqYo)

118 Hmm, monkey..

On another note.. Did Obama attend Neil Armstrong's memorial today? I know he had to campaign and everything but the man was the first human to step on the moon.

Posted by: TheGarbone at September 13, 2012 06:55 PM (cEDzL)

119 It's nice to have a pure comedy thread. Too much rage fuel from Otard these days

Roger that.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 13, 2012 06:56 PM (Iyg03)

120 It looks like a Muppet.

Posted by: Beckoningchasm at September 13, 2012 06:56 PM (i0App)

121 That monkey looks like Leon Redbone after a 3-day weekend bender.

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 13, 2012 06:56 PM (Iyg03)

122 42
Cough medicine ain't what it used to be. Although dextromorphan and Coke still hits pretty good.

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 06:37 PM (EC3+G)

You need to mix it with Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea. It will blow you away.

Posted by: Lil Trayvon at September 13, 2012 06:56 PM (1grxW)

123 All your monkeys are belong to us

Posted by: Weird Japanese Movie, no video game dude at September 13, 2012 06:57 PM (/i3Yt)

124 That monkey needs a PBJ.

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 06:58 PM (3jgI1)

125 Raptor Jesus remains unimpressed.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica Sanitation Department at September 13, 2012 06:58 PM (x8wJs)

126 i'm totally lost.
i don't even know what is- is.

Posted by: willow at September 13, 2012 06:58 PM (TomZ9)

127
Why does he have such a sympathetic, almost caring look in it's eyes?
It's so unnerving.

Posted by: Who Knows at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (W+Itt)

128 The monkey was being held captive at the home of an elementary school principal.

union thug?

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (BAnPT)

129 You need to mix it with Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea. It will blow you away.
Posted by: Lil Trayvon at September 13, 2012 06:56 PM (1grxW)

This is why I come here. Mean ass lean ya'll

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (3jgI1)

130 @122

it was a can of arizona's watermelon-flavoured fruit drink, actsh.

wonder why nobody rushed to correct the record on that one?

Posted by: jimi ray at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (79EF9)

131
Weird Monkey and a Young Gene Shalit.

In no particular order.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (+yYvY)

132 Then I saw his face, now I'm a believer.

Posted by: Mickey, Peter, Mike & Zombie Davey at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (Eq1HJ)

133 Ace found Harry Reid's long lost twin.

Posted by: panzernashorn

His poetry is worthy of our support. His cocaine habit? Let's not talk about that

Posted by: Harry Reid: pervert and patron of the arts at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (UW6NX)

134 As I suggested in an earlier thread,this guy could sit on the shelf next to the Flaming Skull. Next time Joey Choo-Choo says something extra smart, bring out ol' Blue Merkin here.

Posted by: fluffy at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (3SvjA)

135 To hell with monkeys, I want spider-goat hybrids, and I want them now!

Posted by: mediumheadboy at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (aHR5E)

136 Obama's lucky Hunaman

Posted by: panzernashorn at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (BAnPT)

137 That's one bad-assed monkey.

Posted by: Soona at September 13, 2012 07:00 PM (DLx2M)

138 Watch this music video at your own peril.
You will not be able to stop singing the song after you do. ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o

Posted by: George at September 13, 2012 07:01 PM (W7x8r)

139 132 I couldn't leave her if I tried.

Posted by: primary school director at September 13, 2012 07:01 PM (BAnPT)

140 AlextheChick @ 10 -

Wow, my thoughts exactly on Knowing, though I ended up not liking the movie as much as you. Yeah, I thought Dark City as well (Alex Proyas directed both) and I did admire the movie for having the courage of its convictions.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at September 13, 2012 07:01 PM (i0App)

141 Norman Maclean was unavailable to comment on the clever comment at the end of this post.

Posted by: Nuncle at September 13, 2012 07:01 PM (f+zvk)

142 That's one bad-assed monkey.

Posted by: Soona

That's why they call me, "Big Blue Marbles"

Posted by: coked up stimulus monkey poet at September 13, 2012 07:01 PM (UW6NX)

143 Did you say "minkey"?

Posted by: Chief Inspector Dreyfus at September 13, 2012 07:02 PM (coQNH)

144 [Fruity English overdub] And here we have the Blue-Assed Congolese Qaalude Monkey in its natural habitat.

Posted by: joncelli at September 13, 2012 07:02 PM (CWlPF)

145 131
Weird Monkey and a Young Gene Shalit.

In no particular order.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 13, 2012 06:59 PM (+yYvY)

Yes! But I'd prefer a nice chupa-cabra.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 07:02 PM (+tqYo)

146 Where's that nine-assed monkey I keep hearing about?

Posted by: mediumheadboy at September 13, 2012 07:03 PM (aHR5E)

147 Its a visual representation of Joe Biden in deep thought.

Posted by: Up with people! at September 13, 2012 07:03 PM (kzFo5)

148 Before I even scrolled down and only saw the first picture I thought the same thing. Looks like the horrible thing that woman did to the Jesus picture.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 07:04 PM (UljOc)

149 We can't compare it to Obama...can we? Oh, the smell of burnt toast in the morning...

Posted by: Interested Party at September 13, 2012 07:04 PM (RE+1w)

150
Every Which Way But Choom?

Right turn, Clyde.

Posted by: 99% Self-Banned, but just have to say at September 13, 2012 07:04 PM (1Y+hH)

151 You're comparing Jesus to a monkey?

I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you, Ace.

But I'm totally not gay, so I won't sodomize you first.

Posted by: rickl at September 13, 2012 07:04 PM (sdi6R)

152 Looks like that Picasso sculpture in Chicago which is suppose to be of a woman.

Posted by: Redd at September 13, 2012 07:05 PM (jxolP)

153 Did we cover how the Feds have publicly released the name of one of the filmmakers? In conjunction with a "criminal investigation?"

Are you fucking kidding me?

What fucking country is this? Where did our freedom of speech go?

This, this is madness.

Posted by: RoyalOil at September 13, 2012 07:07 PM (imtbm)

154 Now I know what this reminds me of....

That movie...'Mars Attacks'...where the head of Sarah Jessica Parker is put on the body of a dog.

Posted by: wheatie at September 13, 2012 07:07 PM (LdrIf)

155 Bless its heart.

Posted by: parteagirl at September 13, 2012 07:07 PM (RB60K)

156 My office mate is a big guy. Whenever he has to take a longer walk he comes back huffing and puffing. Then, the smell wafts over. His sweaty crack from that walk just drifts over and attacks my brain. I'll bet this monkey smells like that. M'Obama was right!

Posted by: bonhomme at September 13, 2012 07:08 PM (2hTlI)

157 Straight from China, it's just a phony marketing ploy for some Stoned-Panda iced tea flavor, named Attenborough-Goodall fusion.

Connect the crypto-imperialist dots...

Posted by: derit at September 13, 2012 07:08 PM (ruiF1)

158 Cats and dogs, living together! Mass histeria!

Posted by: Stephanie at September 13, 2012 07:09 PM (ozOjM)

159 For some reason this monkey reminds me of bacon.

Posted by: Soona at September 13, 2012 07:09 PM (DLx2M)

160 153

Well, at least they're being consistent with their "we only support some free speech" comment, so there's that.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:09 PM (B6GMq)

161
What do you get when you mate John Kerrywith asquirrel?

See above.

Posted by: Observant at September 13, 2012 07:10 PM (cB4ru)

162 Is this monkey from Cleveland?

Posted by: Soona at September 13, 2012 07:11 PM (DLx2M)

163 I just heard on the news that they're shouting death to America in Baghdad?! Fuck Iraq.....I hope they all get some deadl,y flesh eating, painful disease.

When I think of the young men and women that gave their life there to free those people.....OMG.....I'm seething!!!! Fuck them....burn in hell you rotten pieces of shit.

Posted by: Tami at September 13, 2012 07:11 PM (X6akg)

164 yeah, this is the freaky deaky humanoid family easter egg from Halo 3

Posted by: joeindc44 will boo your chosen deity on TV some day too at September 13, 2012 07:11 PM (QxSug)

165 DWS??

Posted by: Berserker at September 13, 2012 07:14 PM (FMbng)

166 Weird Monkey and a Young Gene Shalit.

http://bit.ly/QJG9AV

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 07:14 PM (AZGON)

167 nothing is funny anymore...tfg expanded the ATF's ability to seize guns without due process.
from Breitbart http://tinyurl.com/9s2vpus

Posted by: Rondinellamamma at September 13, 2012 07:15 PM (53riN)

168 Actually, he looks like the singer Dean Friedman ("Ariel" 1977).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 07:16 PM (+tqYo)

169 And speaking of face pics... L'il Barry really got that whole Mao-fucks-little-girls fleshy mole goin' on in the same place. I know, right?
http://tinyurl.com/9q362bw

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 07:17 PM (1V6Pv)

170 Tami.. I agree, but I don't think a majority of Iraq feels that way. Take heart in that. I have known more than a few that served there. So many people came up to thank them for liberating them.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 07:17 PM (UljOc)

171
OT: the packers suck
Da BEARS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:18 PM (Shrag)

172 170 Tami.. I agree, but I don't think a majority of Iraq feels that way. Take heart in that. I have known more than a few that served there. So many people came up to thank them for liberating them.
Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 07:17 PM (UljOc)

_____________

..with the kids maybe we have half a chance.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 07:18 PM (r2PLg)

173 Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 07:17 PM (1V6Pv)

Damn that's a lot of make-up.

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:18 PM (3jgI1)

174 I understand that this newly discovered primate will shortly be doing commentary on MSNBC.

Posted by: mallfly at September 13, 2012 07:19 PM (bJm7W)

175
without reading up...
which sick fuck has already said "i'd hit it!"

Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:20 PM (Shrag)

176 170

It depends whether they're Sunni Arabs, Shia Arabs, or Kurds.

(The Sunni Arab Iraqis are pissed.)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:20 PM (B6GMq)

177
Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:20 PM (Shrag)
____
I think you're the first one to think of that.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 07:21 PM (0CiTm)

178 174

Maybe MSNBC will finally become watchable.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:21 PM (B6GMq)

179 Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:20 PM (Shrag)

you... sick fuck

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:21 PM (3jgI1)

180 That monkey owes me money.

Posted by: eman at September 13, 2012 07:21 PM (Wp4rQ)

181 175

without reading up...
which sick fuck has already said "i'd hit it!"

Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:20 PM (Shrag)

If it was holding an empty can, I would say you did.

Posted by: MrCaniac at September 13, 2012 07:22 PM (1grxW)

182 >>>This is like one of those movies where something weird happens and no one really notices and then the same weird thing keeps happening and then it gets kind of alarming and then by the end of the movie it's nothing but this same weird thing everywhere all over the earth.*

Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch

Posted by: Max Power at September 13, 2012 07:22 PM (q177U)

183 Anyone remember the "Who Shot the Stimulus Monkey" fiasco?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:23 PM (B6GMq)

184 What's the median age in Iraq--18, 20?

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 07:23 PM (r2PLg)

185 170
Tami.. I agree, but I don't think a majority of Iraq feels that way.
Take heart in that. I have known more than a few that served there. So
many people came up to thank them for liberating them.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 07:17 PM (UljOc)

I know jewells, my son served there. I was helping him go through some of his stuff the other day and saw a wristband with the name of someone on it and the date they died there.
And they started the news story saying "The shiites and sunnis have found something they agree on.....shouting death to American in Baghdad."
Fuck 'em.....all of them.

Posted by: Tami at September 13, 2012 07:23 PM (X6akg)

186
177, 179, 181 there was a time when i was a young sailor....
yeah, i would've made his blue ass black and blue

man that was a screwed up cruise

Posted by: navycopjoe (just one more hour till the packer's assbeating starts) at September 13, 2012 07:25 PM (Shrag)

187 185

It's not necessarily true. Perhaps propaganda to drill: "Iraq was a mistake" into people's minds. In fact, that's probably exactly what it is (whether it happened or not, that's why we get to hear about it).

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:25 PM (B6GMq)

188 Actually it's 21.1, Egypt 24. something and just for comparison Sweden is 42. something.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 07:25 PM (r2PLg)

189 It's not necessarily true. Perhaps propaganda to
drill: "Iraq was a mistake" into people's minds. In fact, that's
probably exactly what it is (whether it happened or not, that's why we
get to hear about it).

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:25 PM (B6GMq)

It was on Lou effing Dobbs!

Posted by: Tami at September 13, 2012 07:27 PM (X6akg)

190 The monkey's eyes remind me of OBL.

Posted by: Jeanne at September 13, 2012 07:27 PM (MMr76)

191 185 Tami
And they started the news story saying "The shiites and sunnis have found something they agree on.....shouting death to American in Baghdad."
Fuck 'em.....all of them.

It's the media, so you should take anything they report with a huge grain of salt.

Fuck 'em.....all of them. The journolists, I mean.

Posted by: rickl at September 13, 2012 07:28 PM (sdi6R)

192 I think that monkey looks more like the picture on the front of the old White King Soap boxes, actually.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at September 13, 2012 07:28 PM (IlZPo)

193 President Carter spoke to Drake University in Des Moines and was asked if he agrees with what Obama said about Egypt:

Carter: "Egypt is an ally of the US, we know Egypt well."

http://tinyurl.com/94h4sj8

Heh...

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:28 PM (3jgI1)

194 189

Even Lou isn't perfect.

(He has that thing with unions for example.)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:29 PM (B6GMq)

195 185 Tami

They've gotta angle Bush into it somehow, you know how it works.

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:29 PM (3jgI1)

196 Ouch, Carter corrected Obama on Egypt. That's gonna leave a mark.

Posted by: Mr Fever Head at September 13, 2012 07:30 PM (SzAZ7)

197 Carter: "Egypt is an ally of the US, we know Egypt well."

Does this mummy know that Sadat is dead?

Posted by: fluffy at September 13, 2012 07:30 PM (3SvjA)

198 "Carter: "Egypt is an ally of the US, we know Egypt well."
Posted by: cajun carrot

Wow, when you've lost Carter...well, you still haven't lost that much, really.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 13, 2012 07:31 PM (d6TfZ)

199 A monkey has a brush with fame.

http://bit.ly/QJHZ4N

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 07:32 PM (AZGON)

200 190 The monkey's eyes remind me of OBL.Posted by: Jeanne at September 13, 2012 07:27 PM (MMr76)

LOL yeah I couldn't put my finger on it but it looked familiar.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at September 13, 2012 07:33 PM (xXhWA)

201 Jimmeh hate choos, not afraid of chooming BL half-Irish Commies:
http://tinyurl.com/963kdfn

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 07:33 PM (1V6Pv)

202 The monkey's eyes remind me of OBL.
Posted by: Jeanne at September 13, 2012 07:27 PM (MMr76)
------------------------------------------------------
Who I KILLED!!!! WOOT WOOT! Can I get an amen in this place?

Posted by: Preznit Kopi Luwak at September 13, 2012 07:34 PM (jucos)

203 I ahve lust fo that monkay.

Posted by: Jimmah Carter at September 13, 2012 07:35 PM (60GaT)

204 Interesting sequence.

Could Jimmy Carter be a racist (and gay)?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:36 PM (B6GMq)

205 Ladies and gentlemorons - that monkey looks smarter and infinitely more likable than TFG.

Posted by: simpleton at September 13, 2012 07:37 PM (za3QZ)

206 So that's what the "prophet" looks like.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 13, 2012 07:37 PM (BVkEs)

207 Yeah, it's the eyes! They look so human. Weird. What do the Creationists here say?

Posted by: SFGoth at September 13, 2012 07:38 PM (dZ756)

208 Get your hands off me, you damned, dirty humans.

Posted by: Chimpy McBlueballs at September 13, 2012 07:38 PM (QKKT0)

209 Oh man, could you imagine how many riots you could start just by adding "Mohammed" to that in MS Paint?

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:38 PM (B6GMq)

210 Well, you know, an expert from where I come from is anyone from out of town with a briefcase.

-Biden

Did Ole' Joe just try and space himself from obama a little bit?

Yes, yes he did.

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:39 PM (3jgI1)

211 207

That God created more than one type of funny-looking monkey.

(Through the process of evolution.)

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:40 PM (B6GMq)

212 Dammit. New NBC/WSJ poll of likely voters has O49-R44 in Virginia, O49-R44 in Florida, and O50-R43 in Ohio. Brutal. http://nbcnews.to/RPny2P

Posted by: Spanky at September 13, 2012 07:40 PM (J2Jw3)

213 That's not a new species of monkey. That's Barry Gibb.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 13, 2012 07:41 PM (BVkEs)

214 @207 fides quaerens intellectum.

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 07:41 PM (1V6Pv)

215 207 Yeah, it's the eyes! They look so human. Weird. What do the Creationists here say?

The same thing that you prob say when you go through a neighborhood where all the houses look similar. "Hey, I bet the same builder built all these."

Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 13, 2012 07:41 PM (GEICT)

216
A bunch of polls just came out.....

Topline figure "OMFG Obama up 5 in FL, OH VA!!!!!"

Digging Deeper: D+10 samples, 26% GOP samples, 8% more women, boosting 18-24 year olds and cutting 60+ voters from the sample......

Yeah, nah..

The trolls will be all over this one no doubt, but don't get sucked in......

Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 13, 2012 07:42 PM (EwxYH)

217 The press is really funny. I guess they don't realize in all of this that despite outspending R 3-1, and 4-1 over the past two weeks, O is still even with R, still below 50% approval, still below 50% in just about every state poll, and clearly in every battleground state. This is not where the incumbent needs to be 53 days before an election. It is the peak of his performance. That's why the Romney is desperate headlines are so funny. R's group have a strategy, they are sticking to it with admirable discipline, and we'll see if it was the right strategy in about 7 weeks. One thing about R that nobody doubts--he learns from his mistakes, as well as the mistakes of others, and generally doesn't make the same mistake twice. They also know how to filter out noise pretty well--and right now that includes noise from the press as well as some on the R side. PS--no matter what happens this election, I am heartened to know that the piece of human scum known as Harry Reid is likely done politically one way or the other come November.

Posted by: Interested Party at September 13, 2012 07:43 PM (RE+1w)

218 212

The polls go up, the polls go down. They're all Bradleyed up anyways.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:43 PM (B6GMq)

219 Rasmussen is supposedly pretty accurate right? i don't usually pay a ton of attention. nationally it has it 46-45 Romney

unfortunately i can't see any of their individual state polls cuz u need to paaaay

Posted by: JParker at September 13, 2012 07:43 PM (60GaT)

220 @207 I'm still hungry here in the Central Time Zone. Is it time to start eating our own?
http://youtu.be/sY05c0QwPcI

Posted by: Thorvald at September 13, 2012 07:43 PM (1V6Pv)

221 215

Excellent.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:44 PM (B6GMq)

222 'Atsa one ugly monkey.

Posted by: Cecilia Gimenez, Retired Cashier and Amateur Fresco Restorer at September 13, 2012 07:45 PM (QKKT0)

223 Obama is a stutteriing clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 07:45 PM (6o4Fb)

224 PS--where is the criticism of Jimmy Carter right now for usurping Obama? Perfect timing, and a great reminder both of Jimmy himself as well as Obama looking even worse than Jimmy. Oops. I really think Al Qaeda must be on the republican payroll for all of the damage they are doing to O. Don't they know that a republican president will kick their butt?

Posted by: Interested Party at September 13, 2012 07:45 PM (RE+1w)

225 You can tell that these monkeys are more intelligent thanJoe Biden and Debbie Washerwoman Schultz.

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 07:46 PM (6o4Fb)

226 Bacon-dip the bullets the security teams use to protect the embassies.

Posted by: Goat-fuck the kiddie-raper Modickhead, dog piss be upon him at September 13, 2012 07:46 PM (eQnzo)

227 216

One should never assume good faith, I guess.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:46 PM (B6GMq)

228 Monkey article, last pic, one on the right.

Haters gonna hate....

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:46 PM (3jgI1)

229 I kind of love that monkey. It has such a cute face, and those eyes!

And this is coming from someone who hates monkeys. And apes. And primates.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 07:47 PM (CA2NO)

230 Polls will go up and down, especially when you outspend your opponent 3-1 or 4-1. That explains most of this stuff. O's cash burn rate is ridiculous, and their desperate hope is to raise $$$$ from this mini bounce. Who goes to fund raisers in September of a presidential election? Just wait, and be patient.

Posted by: Interested Party at September 13, 2012 07:47 PM (RE+1w)

231 My one issue with this monkey (besides its disturbingly blue bottom and prominent testes) is that the face is almost identical to Kathleen Sebelius. That just ain't right.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 07:47 PM (CA2NO)

232 Posted by: BCochran1981 at September 13, 2012 07:41 PM (GEICT)

Yup and the builder's name is evolution.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at September 13, 2012 07:48 PM (2b4yb)

233 Posted by: Interested Party at September 13, 2012 07:45 PM (RE+1w)

Carter already corrected Obama on Egypt.

Posted by: cajun carrot at September 13, 2012 07:48 PM (3jgI1)

234 IP --

do you think Romney's gonna barrage with (effective) negative ads at some point, or is he sticking to this "I'll play it safe, the economy will kill Obama" strategy? because the latter seems extremely risky to me

Posted by: JParker at September 13, 2012 07:48 PM (60GaT)

235 232

It's pretty much the same either way you look at it.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:49 PM (B6GMq)

236 And whether God brought about evolution, or evolution brought about God, there's not much of a difference.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:50 PM (B6GMq)

237 While the US press is busy figuring out how to attack Romney for making a comment "too early", the foreign press is doing its job:

(From Drudge) According to senior diplomatic sources, the US State Department had credible information 48 hours before mobs charged the consulate in Benghazi, and the embassy in Cairo, that American missions may be targeted, but no warnings were given for diplomats to go on high alert and "lockdown", under which movement is severely restricted

Posted by: LASue at September 13, 2012 07:50 PM (wAhNv)

238 Just got my Health Insurance Bill for the next quarter :
When Obama came into office I was paying $247.00
Same Policy today is now costing me $1011.33.

Saving of 3000%, indeed.

Posted by: garrett at September 13, 2012 07:51 PM (6uCLh)

239 It's rEVOLution, or nuttin'.

Posted by: derit at September 13, 2012 07:51 PM (ruiF1)

240 It was 9/11. They should have been on lockdown no matter what (if they're surrounded by Muslims).

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:52 PM (B6GMq)

241 My one issue with this monkey (besides its disturbingly blue bottom and
prominent testes) is that the face is almost identical to Kathleen
Sebelius.

Stranger still is the fact that Kathleen Sebelius is rumored to possess bright blue testicles.

Posted by: Cicero at September 13, 2012 07:52 PM (QKKT0)

242 239

The second sounds like more fun.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:52 PM (B6GMq)

243 238

Change you can believe in!

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:53 PM (B6GMq)

244 I heard someone said there was a creationist on my internetz. Is this true?

Posted by: Cahrles Jhonson at September 13, 2012 07:53 PM (jucos)

245 This is like one of those movies where something weird happens and no
one really notices and then the same weird thing keeps happening and
then it gets kind of alarming and then by the end of the movie it's
nothing but this same weird thing everywhere all over the earth.

"The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" - Futurama

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at September 13, 2012 07:54 PM (PMGbu)

246 Question:

If radical Islamists were in control of this country, and did not want to arouse too much suspicion, in what ways would they have acted differently than our current administration has acted?

Posted by: Truman North, iPhone reactionary at September 13, 2012 07:54 PM (I2LwF)

247 Yeah, I'm pretty sure my ancestors swung from trees. By their necks, not their tails.

Posted by: Craig Poe at September 13, 2012 07:54 PM (BVkEs)

248 244

Excellent.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:54 PM (B6GMq)

249 No Thursday Night Football thread? C'mon, it's Bears-Pack!

Posted by: logprof at September 13, 2012 07:55 PM (TZczW)

250 246

Excellent as well.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:55 PM (B6GMq)

251 251

me.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:56 PM (60GaT)

252 O/T...Look at Drudge...HILLARY! getting tossed under the bus.

Posted by: Max Wedge at September 13, 2012 07:56 PM (CfGGV)

253 251

Excellent.

Posted by: Mirror-Universe Mitt Romney at September 13, 2012 07:57 PM (B6GMq)

254 Spanky

Look at the pdf for The NBC/WSJ/Marist poll for Ohio.

Republican turn out in Ohio for 2008 was 31%--for some reason they only have 28% of the respondents as Republicans even though poll after poll shows greater enthusiasm for voting amongst Republicans.

So they polled 3% less Republicans than the turn out in 2008, and they have a margin of error amongst likely voters at something like--2.8%.

that about gets you to a potential 1% difference between the two candidates-tied.

Posted by: tasker at September 13, 2012 07:57 PM (r2PLg)

255 247: I have it on good authority one of mine did. He was trying to patch into German telegraph and telephone lines to intercept their communications at the time, but the principle holds.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, New Caprica Sanitation Department at September 13, 2012 07:58 PM (x8wJs)

256 thats not a monkey, its Leon Russel.

Posted by: Racefan at September 13, 2012 08:00 PM (aZRB2)

257 still, spin the polls as you like it, it's not looking good for us. combine these recent polls with the news story that even Bibi Netanyahu thinks Obama's gonna win, and it's looking bad. really bad.

Posted by: fe at September 13, 2012 08:00 PM (/FxuJ)

258 Not crazy about the Cee-Lo Green theme for Thursday Night Football.

Posted by: logprof at September 13, 2012 08:01 PM (TZczW)

259 Who is that fat bastard ripping off the Ramones? Son of a bitch, is anything sacred?

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:01 PM (0CiTm)

260 Genus Wilder.

Posted by: Javems at September 13, 2012 08:02 PM (c8xU9)

261 259 Who is that fat bastard ripping off the Ramones? Son of a bitch, is anything sacred?

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:01 PM (0CiTm)

--I like Cee-Lo enough, but the original Ramones song would have been plenty appropriate as is: football has co-opted the term "blitz" FCOL.

Posted by: logprof at September 13, 2012 08:03 PM (TZczW)

262 Who is that fat bastard ripping off the Ramones? Son of a bitch, is anything sacred?
Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:01 PM (0CiTm)
-------------------------------------------------------
Fuck You

Posted by: Cee Lo Green at September 13, 2012 08:03 PM (jucos)

263 Oh THAT's who all the fuss was about. Yippee.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:04 PM (0CiTm)

264 If radical Islamists were in control of this country, and did not want
to arouse too much suspicion, in what ways would they have acted
differently than our current administration has acted?

They would have been more subtle?

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at September 13, 2012 08:05 PM (HtUdo)

265 Has anyone seen our new poll showing President Obama leading Mitt Romney, 66 to 15? We're predicting 96% D turnout.

Posted by: PPP (D) at September 13, 2012 08:05 PM (ECYvo)

266 speaking of blue balls, I gotta go talk to my wife.....it is anti-fap month after all.

and umm yeah....freaky human face monkey is freakkkkkkkkky.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 13, 2012 08:05 PM (PHb2k)

267 Jennings is out. Glad I started Jordy --I hope he tears it up.

Posted by: logprof at September 13, 2012 08:06 PM (TZczW)

268 I see that they are playing this football contest at Lambert Field. I once went hunt'n up there in Michigan.

Posted by: John Francios Kerry at September 13, 2012 08:06 PM (jucos)

269 Benghazi delenda est.

Why does that city still stand?

Posted by: Hopeless at September 13, 2012 08:06 PM (xutGe)

270 I hate fucking monkeys.

Posted by: channeling Soothie at September 13, 2012 08:07 PM (H5i76)

271
Earth. ....It was a strange planet.
Some of our genetic experiments turned out rather well.

Sometimes, at night, some ofthe guys would sneak away from the ship, and fuckthe first creature they came across.
They were lonely....millions of miles from home, bored with the pornin the computers.
We thought we rounded up all the offspring.
Ooops.

Posted by: Ancient Aliens... at September 13, 2012 08:07 PM (LdrIf)

272 Drudge just red texted a link to A British paper saying there was prior warning of the embassy attack.

Posted by: Zharkov at September 13, 2012 08:08 PM (EuoDk)

273 Go to Drudge... breaking news.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 08:08 PM (UljOc)

274 http://bit.ly/SimZPE

The most interesting man in the world is also the most bootlicking man in the world.

http://bit.ly/SinOrD

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 08:08 PM (AZGON)

275 If radical Islamists were in control of this country, and did not want to arouse too much suspicion...

Gay marriage. He's only a fan of radical Islam for its power to destroy.

Posted by: t-bird at September 13, 2012 08:08 PM (b1g/X)

276 still, spin the polls as you like it, it's not looking good for us. combine these recent polls with the news story that even Bibi Netanyahu thinks Obama's gonna win, and it's looking bad. really bad.

---

Pointing out fraud in polling is hardly "spin." But your concern is noted.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at September 13, 2012 08:09 PM (aHR5E)

277 From Twitter:

Lots of people pointing out NBC's OH sample is +10 Dems, when '08 exits were only +8. Any good explanation for that?

Posted by: mama winger in paul ryan's district at September 13, 2012 08:09 PM (P6QsQ)

278 Levin is all over this Breaking Story.

Posted by: garrett at September 13, 2012 08:09 PM (6uCLh)

279 I hate fucking monkeys.
Posted by: channeling Soothie

It can't be that hard to stop, can it?

Posted by: t-bird at September 13, 2012 08:09 PM (b1g/X)

280 Hello...? Can we please have a thread for the freakin SIREN up on Drudge?

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:09 PM (Jq/Bp)

281 On the Drudge story about how Hillary knew that was coming and did nothing, see the sidebar about "facekinis".

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:10 PM (0CiTm)

282 garrett.. listening to him now. I don't see how the media can ignore this.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 08:10 PM (UljOc)

283 /FxuJ

familiar hash?

Posted by: /FxuJ at September 13, 2012 08:11 PM (60GaT)

284 Lots of people pointing out NBC's OH sample is +10 Dems, when '08 exits were only +8. Any good explanation for that?

---

One that doesn't add up to NBC carrying water for Obama? Nope.

Posted by: mediumheadboy at September 13, 2012 08:11 PM (aHR5E)

285 "Not crazy about the Cee-Lo Green theme for Thursday Night Football.

Posted by: logprof"

It doesn't get me ready for some football, that's for sure.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 13, 2012 08:11 PM (d6TfZ)

286 Oh and the Current DRUDGE Headline:

US WARNED OF EMBASSY ATTACK AND DID NOTHING.

yeah that one, I just felt it needed repeated about a thousand times. Pass it on.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at September 13, 2012 08:11 PM (PHb2k)

287 The US administration is now facing a crisis in Libya. Sensitive documents have gone missing from the consulate in Benghazi and the supposedly secret location of the "safe house" in the city, where the staff had retreated, came under sustained mortar attack. Other such refuges across the country are no longer deemed "safe".

Some of the missing papers from the consulate are said to list names of Libyans who are working with Americans, putting them potentially at risk from extremist groups, while some of the other documents are said to relate to oil contracts.

According to senior diplomatic sources, the US State Department had credible information 48 hours before mobs charged the consulate in Benghazi, and the embassy in Cairo, that American missions may be targeted, but no warnings were given for diplomats to go on high alert and "lockdown", under which movement is severely restricted...

From Independent.co.uk, linked at Drudge.

Fucking ridiculous!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 08:12 PM (CA2NO)

288 If Drudges breaking story is true, that should be worth 3 flaming skulls. Flame the fuck on.

Posted by: Countrysquire at September 13, 2012 08:12 PM (xNksW)

289 What is this shit, are these guys on meth? I'd expect that from anyone but Mariucci.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:12 PM (0CiTm)

290 http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/revealed-inside-story-of-us-envoys-assassination- 8135797.html

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (6o4Fb)

291 Friday prayers tomorrow in the ME are going to be badddd.

This, this does not end will at all.

And the new moon is Saturday night. Optimal time for air strikes.

Posted by: Hopeless at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (xutGe)

292 People need to be flooding the media tomorrow with questions. Fuck this. Fax them, enmail them, call them. RAISE SOME FUCKING HELL!!!

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (UljOc)

293 *YAWN*

Pass the waffles.

How 'bout them Bears?

Posted by: Baraka Nero at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (TZczW)

294 OT:

BREAKING ON DRUDGE:

US MAY HAVE KNOWN OF ATTACKS 48 HOURS BEFORE, AND DID NOTHING!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (+tqYo)

295 *does not end well at all.

Posted by: Hopeless at September 13, 2012 08:14 PM (xutGe)

296 290 There's the URL for the story,

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 08:14 PM (6o4Fb)

297 and it's looking bad. really bad

Downright turrible.

Posted by: fluffy at September 13, 2012 08:14 PM (3SvjA)

298 Revealed: inside story of US envoy's assassination
Exclusive: America 'was warned of embassy attack but did nothing'

Obama lied, the ambassador died.

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (AZGON)

299 Call your congress critters and senators too. Demand some damn answers. C'mon people. To quote Paul Ryan. We can do this.

Posted by: jewells45 says Romney wins in a landslide at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (UljOc)

300 OT:

BREAKING ON DRUDGE:

US MAY HAVE KNOWN OF ATTACKS 48 HOURS BEFORE, AND DID NOTHING!!!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (+tqYo)
------------------------------------------------------
Well no one got hurt so it's really not a big deal.

Posted by: Preznit Training Pants at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (jucos)

301 289 What is this shit, are these guys on meth? I'd expect that from anyone but Mariucci.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 13, 2012 08:12 PM (0CiTm)

--Where's Kurt? I know he doesn't do games, but I have not yet seen him this season.

Posted by: logprof at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (TZczW)

302 It's almost as if Obama is trying to provoke an international crisis so as to provoke a domestic crisis, and use the international crisis as a wedge.

Oh, yeah, that is right out of Alinsky.

Posted by: Hopeless at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (xutGe)

303 Obama lied, the ambassador died

Obama sucked, ambassador got fucked

Posted by: fluffy at September 13, 2012 08:15 PM (3SvjA)

304 No wonder the attacks on Mitt and the phony YouTube movie maker are false flags.

SCOAMF and Hillary are directly responsible by their negligence.

Blood is on their hands.

48 hours notice. UNFORGIVABLE.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 08:16 PM (+tqYo)

305 Shock the Monkey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo9riZYUpTw

Posted by: johnd01 at September 13, 2012 08:16 PM (js5jY)

306 And of course it's from a UK paper. Which lately is the only non blog and MFM source for US news.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:16 PM (Jq/Bp)

307 OT:

BREAKING ON DRUDGE:

US MAY HAVE KNOWN OF ATTACKS 48 HOURS BEFORE, AND DID NOTHING!!!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at September 13, 2012 08:13 PM (+tqYo)<<

Hmm..Ogabe did skip the PDB the day after the warning was issued

Plausible deniability??

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 13, 2012 08:17 PM (Yhu4q)

308 You know how liberals always accuse conservatives of something and then it whips right back in their faces?

I'm beginning to wonder if they are regretting the "BUSH KNNNEEEWWW!" pron from Tuesday.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:18 PM (Jq/Bp)

309 306 All the US "reporters" are busy coordinating attacks on Romney or sucking Obama's dick or doing one at the same time as the other.

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 08:18 PM (6o4Fb)

310 Romney needs to beat this to fucking death.

Posted by: ErikW at September 13, 2012 08:18 PM (LXVdF)

311 Dear Media,

You were all over GWB because he supposedly had credible information that an al Qaeda attack was imminent. It would have been next to impossible for Dubya to know where an attack would take place, or in what way, or at what time, or on what day. But you still say he has blood on his hands.

Hillary and Obama had information 48-hours ahead of time that US embassies and consulates were under threat on the anniversary of 9/11. They did nothing. How are their hands looking?

Sincerely,
MWR

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 08:19 PM (CA2NO)

312 I just realized,that fucking monkey looks like Usama Bin Laden!

Posted by: steevy at September 13, 2012 08:19 PM (6o4Fb)

313 Obama ignored intel, the embassy's death knell

Posted by: George Orwell what knows Harry Reid is a pederast and a strangler at September 13, 2012 08:20 PM (AZGON)

314 "Hillary and Obama had information 48-hours ahead of time that US
embassies and consulates were under threat on the anniversary of 9/11.
They did nothing. How are their hands looking?"

If this plays out, it could take out Hillary for 2016.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:20 PM (Jq/Bp)

315 Hmm..Ogabe did skip the PDB the day after the warning was issued

Plausible deniability??

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 13, 2012 08:17 PM (Yhu4q)

Can't be. As whatsisname Vietar told Mark Thiessen today in the WaPo, President Obama prefers to read his briefings rather than have them recited to him. He has the briefing documents delivered to him every day. That's why he can get away with not attending his briefings -- because he's "among the most sophisticated consumers of intelligence in the world."

Plausible deniability died with that claim.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 08:21 PM (CA2NO)

316 >>I hate fucking monkeys.

Posted by: channeling Soothie at September 13, 2012 08:07 PM (H5i76)<<
Well, due to the difference in species, you won't be saddled with a little problem monkey..
...so there's that

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 13, 2012 08:21 PM (Yhu4q)

317 If this plays out, it could take out Hillary for 2016.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:20 PM (Jq/Bp)
------------------------------------------------------
She didn't need this to take her out. Her age and looks will do that to her.

Posted by: Preznit Training Pants at September 13, 2012 08:22 PM (jucos)

318 Romney needs to beat this to fucking death.
Posted by: ErikW at September 13, 2012 08:18 PM (LXVdF)
I once believed this, too, but now I realize that 100% of the people who give a shit are already voting Romney. The Obama voter ignores this. Such a person thinks to itself thoughts like this: How does this affect my welfare check? How does this help or hurt the effort to gain special priveleges for my minority group? How does this fullfill my desire to see white people hurt and humilated?

The only people who see foreign policy as anything other than a tool in their domestic struggle is already voting for us.

Posted by: Reactionary at September 13, 2012 08:23 PM (jfeoD)

319 >>Can't be. As whatsisname Vietar told Mark Thiessen today in the WaPo,<<

Hmm...Vietor...Vietor...

Is he one of Ogabe's ass clowns that plays all-male semi-naked beer pong

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 13, 2012 08:23 PM (Yhu4q)

320 "Plausible deniability"

No conspiracy.

This is just what happens when you have an affirmative action President appointing a Secretary of State who would be a city councilwoman somewhere in Arkansas were it it not for her husband..

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:24 PM (Jq/Bp)

321 "She didn't need this to take her out. Her age and looks will do that to her."

You can get a lot of plastic surgery in four years.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:26 PM (Jq/Bp)

322 Is he one of Ogabe's ass clowns that plays all-male semi-naked beer pong

Posted by: Albie Damned at September 13, 2012 08:23 PM (Yhu4q)

Yep.

Also, eww.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 08:27 PM (CA2NO)

323 You can get a lot of plastic surgery in four years.
Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:26 PM (Jq/Bp)
--------------------------------------------------------
Won't help

Posted by: Preznit Training Pants at September 13, 2012 08:27 PM (jucos)

324 Looks like a human-monkey clone lab experiment that escaped captivity.

Posted by: Harrison J. Bounel at September 13, 2012 08:29 PM (TWn4N)

325 You can get a lot of plastic surgery in four years.

Posted by: Filly at September 13, 2012 08:26 PM (Jq/Bp)

There is not enough plastic surgery in the world to make someone look good in 1080i HD. *SHUDDER*

Hillary will be way too old and way too damaged from her stint with Bammy to run in 2016. The Dems like to call themselves the party of youth -- by 2016, Hill will be one nose wart away from being a Baba Yaga clone.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at September 13, 2012 08:29 PM (CA2NO)

326 Monkey walks into a bar, bartender says "Hey, why the long face?'

Monkey says, "Have you seen my blue balls?"

Posted by: assclownspotter at September 13, 2012 08:47 PM (GjNfi)

327
@257

It's looking fine. They need to crank out D+10 samples and sub-30% R turnouts to get O in front? I can live with that.

Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 13, 2012 08:50 PM (EwxYH)

328 #326

truly excellent

Posted by: Anon at September 13, 2012 08:58 PM (fh3lh)

329 327

@257

It's looking fine. They need to crank out D+10 samples and sub-30% R turnouts to get O in front? I can live with that.

Posted by: AussieMarcus at September 13, 2012 08:50 PM (EwxYH)

I am curious how they are going to crank out that sample on november 7.
Have the black panthers been deployed to ""assist" little old ladies with their voting?

Posted by: jeremiah Gosh Darn Amerikkka Wright at September 13, 2012 09:27 PM (ovpNn)

330 "This is like one of those movies where something weird happens and no one really notices and then the same weird thing keeps happening and then it gets kind of alarming and then by the end of the movie it's nothing but this same weird thing everywhere all over the earth.*"

I'd say it's time to both fire the director and do a rewrite.

Posted by: B. at September 13, 2012 11:07 PM (hl202)

331 That cute monkey looks like GENE WILDER.

Posted by: A Panda at September 14, 2012 12:47 AM (rloeh)

332 That monkey is Nicolas Cage.

Posted by: PaulRyansHair at September 14, 2012 06:27 AM (S7DCS)

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