Franken Walkback: I'm Ahead by 10 Votes, But Only If Those 133 "Missing" Votes Are Found

Well, they're not going to be found, Al. They never existed.

But Franken really wants those non-existent ballots found. He's demanding a "systematic forensic search" for them.

Whatever that means. I think it's his way of asking David Caruso to come help look for them.

Posted by: Ace at 05:22 PM

Comments

I know where those ballots are. They are under the plank. The one on Mars.

Posted by: Hammer at December 04, 2008 05:31 PM (8nB5X)

2 Given his NY ties, would he want Gary Sinise to look for them. Oh wait, Gary Sinise is a Republican.

Posted by: Penfold at December 04, 2008 05:32 PM (lF2Kk)

3 And Caruso Dons his shades, turns on his heel and exits stage left!

Posted by: Acme Gun Store and Reloading Supplies at December 04, 2008 05:32 PM (F1b/5)

4 Those ballots are ours and we're not giving them up.

Posted by: The Lizard People at December 04, 2008 05:34 PM (FO+YO)

5 Shouldn't fraud concern us all?

Posted by: David Caruso at December 04, 2008 05:35 PM (AziIh)

6 CSI, Minnesota. Ole and Sven probe the disappearance of Al Franken's political future.

Posted by: huerfano at December 04, 2008 05:36 PM (knHvu)

7 Election fraud..............

/puts on Sunglasses of Justice

concerns all of us.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Posted by: Techie at December 04, 2008 05:39 PM (MHre4)

8 Maybe he can form a search team with O.J.

Posted by: Frank at December 04, 2008 05:40 PM (UYlec)

9 Every one of these updates is like a whole commercial-to-commercial segment of CSi. We have clues, excitement, and suspense with no resolution. This is scads of fun!

Posted by: Jazz at December 04, 2008 05:40 PM (hnq5i)

10 Just to answer your question...yes, I am just making shit up at this point.

Posted by: Al Franken at December 04, 2008 05:40 PM (hlYel)

11 His chances of winning

are lower than Air America's ratings

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA:HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Posted by: David Caruso at December 04, 2008 05:41 PM (Pe2KD)

12 Techie beat me to

the denoument

Posted by: David Caruso at December 04, 2008 05:42 PM (Pe2KD)

13 What did you expect from a state filled with dirty Scandis?

Posted by: Paulitics at December 04, 2008 05:44 PM (/4dJj)

14 I'm getting a raging clue right now!

Posted by: Hardly Boys at December 04, 2008 05:46 PM (Sg8sX)

15 Glasses on, glasses off, a tiny joke (a huge sound track laugh!) A hanging chad. I can see the episode already.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 04, 2008 05:47 PM (ympAm)

16 Franken's been watching too much TV, he actually believes they can really do all that stuff.....in one hour, including time for commercials. What an idiot.

Posted by: GarandFan at December 04, 2008 06:05 PM (237hA)

17 But Franken really wants those non-existent ballots found. He's demanding a "systematic forensic search" for them.

Do I understand you correctly, Mr. Franken, that you want my department to assist you in voter fraud? I would caution you to answer that question very carefully.

Posted by: Lt. Horatio Caine at December 04, 2008 06:06 PM (1hM1d)

18 If I don't win...

[*shades on*]

my head will explode.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Posted by: David Caruso-Franken at December 04, 2008 06:07 PM (sI5Ho)

19 Who theme music for CSI:Frankenland.

Posted by: notropis at December 04, 2008 06:12 PM (9BbDQ)

20 Maybe the 133 ballots are fake, but accurate.

Posted by: Jack Bauer's Evil Brother at December 04, 2008 06:16 PM (65faH)

21 Al Frankensense is the premiere liberal who believes that it's safe to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Posted by: Fish at December 04, 2008 06:31 PM (6Rihj)

22 Alright! Listen up! The average windblown drift speed of a lost imaginary ballot is 2.5 miles per week. My votes have been missing for four weeks. That's ten miles. I want a hard-target search of every file folder, briefcase, safe, ballot-box, banker's box, glove-box, shoe-box, Pop-Rox, bagel-and-lox and tube socks within a 10-mile radius of all Minneapolis ACORN headquarters. Let's go!

And somebody think me up some lutefisk.

Posted by: Al Samuel Gerard Franken at December 04, 2008 06:41 PM (Z+rX1)

23 I'm the world's wealthiest man as soon as I can find that basketball sized diamond that went missing from my sock drawer.

Posted by: Warden at December 04, 2008 07:03 PM (QoR4a)

24 If they were up your ass, you'd know.

Posted by: Wilhelm Klink at December 04, 2008 07:11 PM (8D00g)

25 Here's hoping that we haven't sunk so low that this walking, talking fart winds up in the U.S. Senate.

Posted by: jontradom at December 04, 2008 07:12 PM (TLOvS)

26 I think someone said this somewhere in another thread, but: How in the hell is this race close? Fuckin Franken wouldn't have gotten ten votes, missing or otherwise, in any precinct in Texas. (certain precincts in Dallas, Houston and most of Austin excluded) Are there really that many crazy people in freaking Meenasoota?

Posted by: mikeyslaw at December 04, 2008 07:14 PM (QMGr1)

Yes there are. I'm surrounded by them.

And 2 inches of Gorebal warming on my driveway today.

Posted by: Phoenix at December 04, 2008 07:34 PM (2YM81)

Sending Stuart Smalley's creator to the senate and making him stay there until he dies would actually be justice. Force him to hang out with John Kerry while Joe Biden presides during filibuster sleep-overs. But there is no justice.

So no, Al Franken won't go to the senate.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at December 04, 2008 07:44 PM (TUWci)

29 Al Franken's Left Coast Friends Are On the Job!

Whoooooo are you. Doot! Doot! Doot! Doot!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 04, 2008 08:21 PM (yIy7z)

30 Think Al's back on the speedballs yet?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at December 04, 2008 08:22 PM (yIy7z)

31 Can someone of Sicilian decent please put Franken out of his misery?

Posted by: Corona at December 04, 2008 09:23 PM (pI8vF)

32 I think old Al is still trying to figure exactly what the hell he's supposed to do with all those pesky fingers, other than scratching his ass and picking his nose, that is. He had enough trouble being smarter than the casts of SNL and if that's hard for you, you're one stupid windowlicker idiot. Franken is why someone went to the trouble to invent the condom and contraceptive gels for chicks...frankenidiot prevention.
Oh, he's also a cockholster.

Posted by: enter sandman at December 04, 2008 09:24 PM (mNxhf)

33 Franken is to ballots as Queeg is to strawberries.

Posted by: w b h at December 04, 2008 10:11 PM (MKg7L)

34
I think every post about Franken should include this pic.

Posted by: Bart at December 04, 2008 10:26 PM (aRBY8)

Posted by: DD at December 04, 2008 10:41 PM (c3x8k)

36 @33 "I can prove with geometric logic that ballots actually existed. I just need to find the duplicate key to the ballot box"

Frightening

Posted by: MikeH at December 04, 2008 11:00 PM (1V2sa)

37 Maybe he can work with OJ Simpson, help him find the real killer while OJ helps him find the missing votes.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 04, 2008 11:11 PM (PQY7w)

38 It's about time Franken just, kinda went away. We need him to "go away" the same way Jeremiah Wright just "went away" during the election campaigns. Unfortunately, we don't have the illuminati MSM to do the dirty work.

Posted by: RJ at December 04, 2008 11:12 PM (7nbTg)

Can someone of Sicilian decent please put Franken out of his our misery?

Fixed it for you Corona

Posted by: Picric at December 04, 2008 11:22 PM (v0RR+)

I saw something on Fox that Franken wants a church where ballots where cast to be a considered crime scene and searched for missing ballots. WTF? This has gone far beyond the cartoon character stage. He's just making it a bigger and bigger political hot potato that no one wil lwant to touch just to fix it for him.

Call up the ballot sniffing K-9 unit you Putz. Those german shepparrds won't think twice about biting you in the ass

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