It Is Time.

Masquerade Party Friday

Time for some intensive slackin'.

Don't deny it. Your continued presence here indicates that you pitilessly chisel many hours of paid time from your employers each week.

And it's Friday, meaning your brains never left the bed this morning. They're still snuggled up on your pillows, while your bodies are making ghastly fake 'work' motions to satisfy appearances and collect full checks.

This is the core skill set that enables the Ace of Spades Lifestyle.™

I am proposing an open thread.

I am proposing that this open thread be in the form of a masquerade party. Don't come as you are. Come as somebody more fun. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Historical figures, famous people, celebrities, what-have-you. Flames not required. But they are encouraged.

I think it's safe to say that Dave in TX is likely to arrive in the guise of Thomas Jefferson.

And in accordance with ancient custom, the women will all arrive dressed like whores.

Posted by: LauraW. at 10:50 AM

Comments

1 So... where are the whores?

Posted by: Eliot S. at March 28, 2008 10:52 AM (FAZ6l)

2 " And in accordance with ancient custom, the women will all arrive dressed like whores."

Bunk.

Posted by: Jayne at March 28, 2008 10:52 AM (pYFgb)

3 About time you bitches showed up. Now strip and start the lesbo teasing.

Posted by: FormerGuvSpitzer at March 28, 2008 10:57 AM (QuCVu)

4 What the fuck have you idiots done to my movement and my party?

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at March 28, 2008 10:57 AM (hlYel)

5 Why yes, that is $4,000 in my pocket. And I'm very happy to see you.

Posted by: Eliot Spitzer at March 28, 2008 10:57 AM (TFhw0)

6 Then I shall be Krystal. 'Tis a fine name for a whore.

Posted by: Krystal at March 28, 2008 10:57 AM (rasT+)

7 Hello boys, I've missed you.

Posted by: Mel Brooks at March 28, 2008 10:58 AM (sPO/s)

Yeah, Eliot. Where is the whores?

And the coke?

Posted by: Gov. David A. Paterson at March 28, 2008 10:58 AM (s/qsX)

Flames not required.

Now she tells me.

Posted by: The Hindenburg at March 28, 2008 10:58 AM (MHZyq)

10 You know who this helps?

Posted by: Saffron the Inter-Galactic Space Whore at March 28, 2008 10:59 AM (PLvLS)

11 Did someone say whores?

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 28, 2008 10:59 AM (hlYel)

12 Hookers to the right, drugs to the left.

Posted by: Crazy Suicidal Drug Guy at March 28, 2008 11:00 AM (sPO/s)

Hey where the white woman at?

Posted by: Cleavon Little at March 28, 2008 11:00 AM (5ap+X)

14 Hey, when did Ewoks start blogging?

Posted by: Han Solo at March 28, 2008 11:00 AM (hlYel)

15 I err, left my wallet in tha cah.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at March 28, 2008 11:01 AM (m6c4H)

16 [HOATAN]

804-555-5309

Posted by: Virginia Dare at March 28, 2008 11:02 AM (7sl9X)

17 It was either this or French Maid.

Posted by: Sexy Pirate at March 28, 2008 11:03 AM (tNCt8)

You assholes trun off your computers and lights. Quit breathing so much. Drinking cheap whiskey then urinating on street people does not count as sequestering carbon. You're killing us all.

Posted by: Al Gore at March 28, 2008 11:04 AM (TFhw0)

Anyone remember my sex scandal?

...

Are you going to eat that?

Posted by: Gary Hart at March 28, 2008 11:04 AM (MHZyq)

20 Of course I do, Gary. Donna Rice was a hot piece of ass.

I should have chosen her for VP. She did more to get me nominated than Ferraro.

Posted by: Walter Mondale at March 28, 2008 11:05 AM (sPO/s)

21 11 Did someone say whores?

Posted by: Charlie Sheen at March 28, 2008 10:59 AM (hlYel)

They either said whores or genital sores. Either works for you I'm sure.

Posted by: Charlie Sheen's Doctor at March 28, 2008 11:05 AM (2DKDE)

22 "Not the nads! Beat anything else you want but please, not my nads!"

Posted by: Hobo at March 28, 2008 11:05 AM (PLvLS)

23 And by "wallet," I mean Mary Jo Kopechne.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at March 28, 2008 11:07 AM (SXBHu)

Yeah, the whores are great. But when are they going to bring in the dessert cart?

Posted by: Pie Fucker at March 28, 2008 11:07 AM (TFhw0)

25 You need to elect someone who knows how to save cute little fourteen year old poets by dodging sniper from ethnic cleansing war criminals.

Posted by: WalrusRex at March 28, 2008 11:07 AM (DVVXZ)

26 Sexy Pirate,

Want to go bury some treasure together? If you know what I mean.

Posted by: The Guy Dressed Like Blackbeard at March 28, 2008 11:08 AM (hlYel)

27 I'm feeling kind of sexy today.

Posted by: Janet Reno at March 28, 2008 11:09 AM (0AZ4a)

28 Are you going to eat that?

Yes, yes I am.

Posted by: Michael Moore at March 28, 2008 11:10 AM (hlYel)

29 Damn, it's cold!

Posted by: Bon Scott at March 28, 2008 11:10 AM (NKOmS)

30 And in accordance with ancient custom, the women will all arrive dressed like whores.

Will you post pictures?

Posted by: Mack at March 28, 2008 11:10 AM (pt5od)

Laura, are you really going to take me off the Island of Lost Toys?

Really and truly?

Posted by: Genital Sore Costume at March 28, 2008 11:11 AM (MHZyq)

32 Ask Andy Gibb what the inside of my mouth tastes like.

Posted by: Marilyn McCoo at March 28, 2008 11:12 AM (Z9tCp)

Gimme an N! Gimme a A! Gimme a D! Gimme an S!

Whats it spell? NADS!

GOOoooooooo NADS!

Posted by: Bubble Head Cheerleader at March 28, 2008 11:12 AM (rvnjR)

34 And by "Mary Jo Kopechne," I mean the passed-out drunk girl into whose mouth I was trying to stick my penis when I drove off that bridge.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at March 28, 2008 11:12 AM (TFhw0)

35 I was abducted by aliens. Why won't you believe me?

Posted by: Bigfoot at March 28, 2008 11:12 AM (0AZ4a)

36 I refuse to join in this frivolity and masquerade as someone else, as I am the most learned and important person in the entire internet and you should feel privileged that I deign to bless you with my presence.

Posted by: Bob Munck at March 28, 2008 11:13 AM (wWwJR)

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

HELL NO!!!! And it ain't over now.

Posted by: Senator Blutarski at March 28, 2008 11:13 AM (2DKDE)

"Your continued presence here indicates that you pitilessly chisel many hours of paid time from your employers each week."

Shows how much you know. I'm unemployed.

Posted by: John F Not Kerry at March 28, 2008 11:13 AM (4gHqM)

39 Any of you hos got your life insurance paid up?

Posted by: Kwame Kilpatrick at March 28, 2008 11:14 AM (dRy9s)

I see you've posted another racist post using the code word 'masquerade' .

Posted by: seattle slough at March 28, 2008 11:14 AM (m2CN7)

41 Ask me what Barack Obama's nads taste like!

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at March 28, 2008 11:15 AM (wWwJR)

42 "...the women will all arrive dressed like whores."

Excellent. Should I bring my jade monkey?

Posted by: Montgomery Burns at March 28, 2008 11:15 AM (Uy68a)

Hey guys! I hear Glenn Greenwald's supposed to show up later!

He's the keenest!

Posted by: Rick Ellensburg at March 28, 2008 11:15 AM (0t6Ct)

44 You don't have to be a star (to be in my box). baby.

Posted by: Joanie at March 28, 2008 11:15 AM (Z9tCp)

What the fuck have you idiots done to my movement and my party?

No shit, Ron.

Posted by: Fred Thompson at March 28, 2008 11:15 AM (ivbbD)

46 dammit. damn cookies

Posted by: Joanie at March 28, 2008 11:16 AM (Z9tCp)

47 Did someone say whores??

Posted by: Jack the Ripper at March 28, 2008 11:16 AM (E3XtI)

Indeed!

To recap, Glenn Greenwald is the bestest!

His book was read on the floor of the senate!

Posted by: Ellers at March 28, 2008 11:16 AM (0t6Ct)

49 Did someone say cookies?

Posted by: Michael Moore at March 28, 2008 11:17 AM (hlYel)

50 Forget about the hookers and the blow. I'm here for the food.

Posted by: Oliver Willis at March 28, 2008 11:17 AM (wnU1W)

51 Oh yeah.......yeah, baby......that's it.......Oh..Ooooooooh....Ahhhh..................Eeeeeeeeeeee!

Now the turtle......the...the.......turtlllllllllllle!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaww!

Yeah.....now....now...with the Corn Dog....yeah right there>

Up there.....Yarrrrrrrrrrraggggggggghhhhhhhh!

....................oh.....oh......buddy..................
.
.
.
.
.
Yeah, you better put some ice on that.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 28, 2008 11:17 AM (4nqjD)

52 Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Posted by: Flamey McNoggin at March 28, 2008 11:17 AM (evdj2)

53 Is this dress too tight?

Posted by: Number Six at March 28, 2008 11:18 AM (0AZ4a)

54 I hate all of you.
But since I've nothing better to do with my day, I'll deign to reward you with my presence.

Posted by: Erg at March 28, 2008 11:18 AM (5/uG4)

55 �su pene es muy sabroso!

Posted by: Glenn Greenwald's Cabana Boy at March 28, 2008 11:18 AM (0t6Ct)

56 Y'all are just Honky White Trash.

I'm so proud of you at this moment.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at March 28, 2008 11:19 AM (gB0mM)

57 29 Damn, it's cold!

Posted by: Bon Scott at March 28, 2008 11:10 AM (NKOmS)

You have no fucking idea. Bitch.

Posted by: Alexander Solzhenitsyn at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (2DKDE)

58 Okay I admit it, when I say 'my friends' I really me, 'you stupid fuckers I have to put up with to get elected. God I hate you all'.

I know you always suspected but now you know.

Posted by: John McCain at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (hlYel)

59 Has anyone seen my hat? I served in Vietnam, you know.

Posted by: John F Kerry at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (4gHqM)

I'm feeling kind of sexy today.

Posted by: Janet Reno at March 28, 2008 11:09 AM

I'm fairly sure that's the maximum amount of sexy you can feel, babycakes.

I'd still do you like a rodeo clown, though. Just sayin...

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (bofTB)

61 All of this patriarchal oppression of womyn scares and offends me. Where's the gynaffection?

Posted by: allecto at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (ReNkr)

62 We admit we're to the left of the political spectrum but now claim it doesn't matter.

Posted by: Leftist Professor at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (5/uG4)

63 I'm very big in grape stomping circles.

Posted by: hillary's cankles at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (o03rx)

64 Cock!

Posted by: tom at March 28, 2008 11:20 AM (evdj2)

65 STOP THE INSANITY!

Posted by: Susan Powter at March 28, 2008 11:21 AM (IVUjc)

None of you are real funny. There are some of you who are chuckle worthy but not laugh out loud worthy. Well except for spurwing.

Posted by: ace at March 28, 2008 11:21 AM (m2CN7)

Posted by: Bill Clinton

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_{You know I can have you killed, right?}

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at March 28, 2008 11:22 AM (m6c4H)

68 Where's that fucker Hamilton?

Posted by: Aaron Burr at March 28, 2008 11:23 AM (evdj2)

Oh great, number 9 took all the damn hookers before I got here!

Posted by: No 10 at March 28, 2008 11:23 AM (zXUuJ)

70 I'm just tired of typing m'damn name in.

Posted by: Marilyn McCoo at March 28, 2008 11:23 AM (Z9tCp)

71 Where's the sammiches ?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 28, 2008 11:23 AM (Bivii)

72 You fucking cunts!

Posted by: Johnny Rotten at March 28, 2008 11:24 AM (TFhw0)

73 Come on Burr, that was a lucky shot. What do you say, best 2 out of 3?

Posted by: Alexander Hamilton at March 28, 2008 11:24 AM (hlYel)

74 No camo masquerade required.

Posted by: guy that fucked the dead deer at March 28, 2008 11:24 AM (uOvAE)

75 RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE

Posted by: Altered Beast at March 28, 2008 11:24 AM (IVUjc)

76 I come to USA and meet Hiddady. She say she watch me on youtube many time.

Posted by: A Certain Japanese Model at March 28, 2008 11:24 AM (0AZ4a)

Help!!! Doubleplusundead is keeping me in his baseaaaaaarrrrgh.

Posted by: Sinistar at March 28, 2008 11:25 AM (zXUuJ)

78 This thread shows how much we really need change, and accomplish that change we need new ideas, not rooted in the old way of thinking, but a new way, that speaks to us about our need for change. Did I mention our need for change?

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 28, 2008 11:25 AM (4gHqM)

Gasp!

Cough!

Avenge me...

[rattling sigh]

Posted by: Jim Cramer's Career at March 28, 2008 11:26 AM (0t6Ct)

Hey,

Don't forget my show tonight! Come to the After-Party at the Playboy Mansion. F*ck, I'm short, ugly and liberal, got to get laid somehow. Bring your own blow, I'm not that rich.

Posted by: Bill Maher at March 28, 2008 11:26 AM (BTdlV)

81 WTF? Where's all the bitches at?

Posted by: Client # 11 at March 28, 2008 11:26 AM (wWwJR)

82 If you try my Mighty Awesome Samurai Zorbee Hercules Oxy Putty, you'll receive not one, but two additional skullsplitting headaches absolutely free!

Posted by: Billy Mays at March 28, 2008 11:27 AM (sPO/s)

83 You people all have horrible taste.

Posted by: Jeffrey Dahmer at March 28, 2008 11:27 AM (dRy9s)

84 This could end up being better than a haiku contest.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 28, 2008 11:28 AM (4gHqM)

85 I HUNGER

Posted by: (the real Sinistar) at March 28, 2008 11:28 AM (IVUjc)

Bill? Is that you, sniffing at Reno's tampon?

You never had a better piece of ass than me, you hillbilly, and you never will.

. . .call me. 'K?

Posted by: Gennifer Flowers at March 28, 2008 11:28 AM (SjUPQ)

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

Posted by: Arthur Carlson at March 28, 2008 11:29 AM (evdj2)

88 Now, let me tell you about Israel, and the Jooooos!

Posted by: Rev Jeremiah Wright at March 28, 2008 11:29 AM (4gHqM)

The funniest thing about this blog isn't the writing or the comments, it's those few moments before the page opens in your browser window when you're anticipating the next attempt at humor.

I mean, whose toes is he going to step on this time? Sullivan? Greenwald?

Posted by: Margaret Cho at March 28, 2008 11:29 AM (TFhw0)

90 We're going to need some butter.

Posted by: A Certain Japanese Model's Rack in Last Tango in Paris at March 28, 2008 11:30 AM (MHZyq)

"You people all have terrible taste."

Tell me about it, pal.

Posted by: Alferd Packer at March 28, 2008 11:30 AM (zF6Iw)

92 Just between you and me...I made that whole Global Warming thing up.

I was just trying to kill sometime after losing to Bush. I didn't know so many idiots would believe it.

Posted by: Al Gore at March 28, 2008 11:30 AM (hlYel)

#66

Fuck you Ace. Like you fuckin' know funny.

Posted by: Henny Youngman's Wife at March 28, 2008 11:30 AM (2DKDE)

94 Oh, the humanity!

Posted by: Les Nessman at March 28, 2008 11:31 AM (evdj2)

95 Damn, the LauraW is hideous. I would have never written a story about her.

Posted by: Victor Hugo at March 28, 2008 11:31 AM (hlYel)

96 For my 30th birthday, i got my period.

Posted by: Kerri Strug at March 28, 2008 11:31 AM (Z9tCp)

97 I did not have sex with that woman- Mrs Clinton.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 28, 2008 11:32 AM (UHN1P)

98 Fred and I just sparked up a fatty and are going to watch 2001.

We invited Rudy, but he said he was expecting an important call.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at March 28, 2008 11:32 AM (0AZ4a)

99 Any of you homies got a light? I told that beyotch Mary I had to take a piss, but I am jonesin' for a smoke. Figures Grant pussed out on me, that asshole. What the hell am I doing watching this danm show, anyway?

Posted by: Abraham Lincoln at March 28, 2008 11:33 AM (zF6Iw)

100 Brrrr. Is it cold in here or is it just I?

Posted by: Global Warming at March 28, 2008 11:33 AM (jjNS6)

101 You people all have horrible taste.

I don't want people with good taste, I want people that taste good.

Posted by: Hannibal Lechter at March 28, 2008 11:33 AM (dRy9s)

102 Wah, huh, mom? Get out of here. mrhhmmungh. Just give me 15 more minutes.

Posted by: Cthulu at March 28, 2008 11:34 AM (m6c4H)

103 I come as the Earl of Cornholio.

Posted by: Gabriel at March 28, 2008 11:34 AM (NTVio)

104 All right all ready, I'm coming

Posted by: Yoshi at March 28, 2008 11:34 AM (evdj2)

105 Don't sell yourself short judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

Posted by: Ty Webb at March 28, 2008 11:35 AM (4gHqM)

106

Things I look better than:

Dave In Texas' NCAA bracket.

Ace.

The rest of you.

Posted by: Amy Winehouse's Liver at March 28, 2008 11:36 AM (MHZyq)

107 I'm funny. Really. Why aren't you laughing?

Fuck you sexist pigs.

Posted by: Janine Garafolo at March 28, 2008 11:36 AM (oRVu1)

108 What the fuck have you idiots done to my movement and my party?

Hey Ron, you fucked up - you trusted us.

Posted by: John "Otter" McCain at March 28, 2008 11:36 AM (Ds4I5)

109

Is it just me or do all black people look alike?

Posted by: Typical White Person at March 28, 2008 11:37 AM (jjNS6)

110 I don't quite get how this works.

Posted by: Gabe Malor at March 28, 2008 11:38 AM (hlYel)

111 Heeeeere's Johnny! Oh, and you may already have won $2 million!

Posted by: Ed McMahon at March 28, 2008 11:38 AM (4gHqM)

112 Speaking of heretics:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/27/60minutes/main3974389.shtml

Posted by: Al Gore at March 28, 2008 11:38 AM (pYFgb)

113 So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

Posted by: Joe Biden at March 28, 2008 11:38 AM (m2CN7)

114

I really don't smell like pork, and if you look closely I acutally appear to be more brown than green right now.

Posted by: Kermit the Frog's middle finger at March 28, 2008 11:39 AM (TFhw0)

115 Hoors you say? Oh fine. That jackass Franklin will be knee deep in those trollops before the dinner bell rings.

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 28, 2008 11:39 AM (bBVqZ)

116 Snarf!

Posted by: Cheetara at March 28, 2008 11:39 AM (Z9tCp)

117 Ed,

I wanted to tell you this for 30 years....I hate you.

I bet you did not know that.

Posted by: Johnny Carson at March 28, 2008 11:39 AM (hlYel)

118 I really am spartacus.

Posted by: spartacus at March 28, 2008 11:39 AM (m2CN7)

119 If ya smellllllllllll...

Posted by: The Rock at March 28, 2008 11:40 AM (4gHqM)

120

Posted by: Yoshi at March 28, 2008 11:34 AM (evdj2)

WRONG! The correct suckpuppet was "Toshi".

JACK GEMUNDO! What number am I think of?

WRONG!

Posted by: John McLaughlin at March 28, 2008 11:41 AM (m6c4H)

121

Of all days for Hillary to visit. And there's me, out digging beets. Again.

Fucking beets.

Posted by: Ratzko, the swarthy Bosnian sniper at March 28, 2008 11:42 AM (uOvAE)

122 Any of you morons lose a loved one to mesothelioma? Call me!

Posted by: The Law Offices of James Sokolove at March 28, 2008 11:42 AM (GhR1Z)

123

Would you stupid bastards keep your hands off of me? I could buy and sell any of you! Doesn't the makeup tip you off? How about the squirtflower in my lapel? Any actual hobos around that wouldn't have hocked that for a short dog?

Next time I'm calling Ringling security and you do not want to screw with those guys. You morons.

Posted by: Emmet Kelly at March 28, 2008 11:44 AM (a00go)

124 I wish I knew how to quit you.

Posted by: Jack Twist at March 28, 2008 11:44 AM (bFqDX)

125 Don't taze me bro!

Posted by: internet laughingstock at March 28, 2008 11:45 AM (evdj2)

126 Just keep me away from the pretzels OK.

Posted by: GWB at March 28, 2008 11:46 AM (IcWzI)

127

Fuck the NBA.

Posted by: Napoleon at March 28, 2008 11:46 AM (MHZyq)

128

The told me there would be virgins!!!!!11!!1!!!

And donuts!11!!!!!!11!!!!

OK, fine forget the virgins, just please get me some donuts!!1!!!!11!!

Posted by: Adam Gadahn at March 28, 2008 11:47 AM (jjNS6)

129 Leah? yeah, she's Ok, but you know who's hot?

Lando.

Lando's HOT.

Posted by: Han Solo's Cock at March 28, 2008 11:48 AM (oRVu1)

130 Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaange!

Posted by: obama zombie at March 28, 2008 11:49 AM (m2CN7)

131 Any body need any weed? A couple of keys of blow? I'm your man, I'm the narco-saint. Come on! It's a party, ain't it?

Posted by: Jesus Malverde at March 28, 2008 11:49 AM (pt5od)

132 So....come here often?

Posted by: Woman Shopping at Target at March 28, 2008 11:49 AM (dRy9s)

133 I'm outraged.

Posted by: michelle malkin at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (m2CN7)

134 Can one of you do something about this Jack M. guy? There's like a $150 in it for you if you make him stop. I don't care what you do, I don't want to know. Just make him go away.

Posted by: Suzanne Sena at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (hlYel)

135

THEY TOLD ME THAT IF GEORGE W. BUSH WERE RE-ELECTED, Ace of Spades would turn into a fucking masquerade party. And they were right!

Posted by: Glenn Reynolds at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (jjNS6)

136 If that Levin says I'm hung like a thumbtack one more time I'll...I'll declare him the worst person I want to have a naked tickle fight with.

Posted by: Keith Olberfuck at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (QuCVu)

137

Shameless Plug:

www.bmovies.com

This is website set up by my friends in Knoxville as a clearing house for crappy B-movies. It covers horror, science fiction, kung fu, and westerns. It's a free website of streaming movies. It's great to keep you occupied when your waiting at the airport, meetings, and just for shits and giggles.

It's fun for the whole dysfunctional family!

Posted by: natesnake at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (YcXTT)

138 None of you are real funny. There are some of you who are chuckle worthy but not laugh out loud worthy. Well except for spurwing.

For the most part, Ace talked smack with his "wallet-mouth."

Posted by: Rev. Wright at March 28, 2008 11:50 AM (7sl9X)

139 I heard footsteps last night.

Posted by: The Spirit Rover at March 28, 2008 11:51 AM (0AZ4a)

140 Ever do it with your brother?

Posted by: She-Ra at March 28, 2008 11:51 AM (Z9tCp)

141 Hillary Clinton is the biggest disappointment since Judas Iscariot announced he was running for the AD 31 Apostle of the Year.

This blog is as boring as Eliot Spitzer's left hand.

Posted by: Lord Blackadder at March 28, 2008 11:51 AM (TPRbZ)

142

Check this out, muthas:

http://tinyurl.com/22xwfc

[h/t Conservative Grapevine]

Posted by: Michael Vick at March 28, 2008 11:51 AM (+3b8z)

143 Not funny??
I don't suppose you'd put on this wig and skirt for a few minutes? That's all it'd take. Besides your liver has been begging for liberation for years.

Posted by: Jack the Ripper at March 28, 2008 11:52 AM (E3XtI)

144 Hey, if you Dems can't decide who to nominate, give me a call, m'kay?

Posted by: Ralph Nader at March 28, 2008 11:53 AM (kZT4X)

145 Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do! And what's with the whore get up?

Posted by: Desi at March 28, 2008 11:53 AM (MHZyq)

146 Do you want to play a game?

Posted by: WOPR at March 28, 2008 11:54 AM (hlYel)

147 I farted

Posted by: fart at March 28, 2008 11:54 AM (evdj2)

148

I'm not worried. President Obama will pardon me.

Or if he loses the election, I flip on his black ass.

Posted by: Tony Rezko at March 28, 2008 11:55 AM (jjNS6)

149 You know friend, this is a god damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.

Posted by: Jack Twist at March 28, 2008 11:56 AM (bFqDX)

150 Rezko, I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Posted by: Darth Vader at March 28, 2008 11:56 AM (FVif6)

151

I'm Batman.

Posted by: Batman at March 28, 2008 11:56 AM (m6c4H)

152 Just because there's farting doesn't mean that the surge is working, or that kites will be getting married anytime soon

Posted by: confused guy carring the banner at March 28, 2008 11:56 AM (evdj2)

153 That LauraW is a cheeky guttersnipe isn't she? If I weren't a gentleman I'd put coins into her purse and teach her the meaning of the word "respect".

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 28, 2008 11:57 AM (bBVqZ)

154 Hi, Batman. I'm Howard.

Posted by: Howard at March 28, 2008 11:58 AM (dRy9s)

155

hhewahh hhew uh uh hewahhh! *splat* blaaahhg blehh *splat* is there any more cake left?

Posted by: Kimberly Drummond at March 28, 2008 11:58 AM (Z9tCp)

156 I just farted.

Posted by: The guy who farts at March 28, 2008 11:58 AM (pt5od)

157 Ok, ok, I'll turn the light off.

Posted by: Chelsea Clinton at March 28, 2008 11:58 AM (0AZ4a)

158 You know, Vader's kinda hot too.
Mask on though, gotta leave the mask on.

Posted by: Han Solo's Cock at March 28, 2008 11:59 AM (oRVu1)

159

I never got to say this before, but given the refreshingly frank and liberating vocabulary of black churches:

Big-titties! Big-titties! Rock out with your cock out! {dry humping pulpit}

Thanks for nothing, motherfucking assholes.

Posted by: Rev. Mike Huckabee at March 28, 2008 11:59 AM (uOvAE)

160 Ewww...you just got cake crumbs all over my spleen...I mean...lunch!

Posted by: Jack the Ripper at March 28, 2008 11:59 AM (E3XtI)

161 Frag an Officer.

Posted by: We Support the Troops but Carry Banners in Parades that Put the Lie to Our True Position at March 28, 2008 12:00 PM (5/uG4)

162 < POOF! >

Posted by: Spinal Tap's 14th Drummer at March 28, 2008 12:00 PM (i58mj)

163 Can you believe the prices at Starbucks?

Posted by: Robert Mugabe at March 28, 2008 12:01 PM (dRy9s)

164 Damn! A masquerade party with whores! No one told me!
Howard Dean is a racist for trying to hold a Superdelegate primary in secret!

Posted by: Rev. Jesse Jackson at March 28, 2008 12:02 PM (Q1lie)

165 Did someone mention cookies?

Posted by: Orson Wells at March 28, 2008 12:03 PM (8rnFD)

166

Did you know I was the first one to give a girl "the shocker"? No bullshit. In 1909, during a picnic just outside Selma. I told all my friends, we had a big laugh about it, and used to flash each other the "shocker" then giggle like school girls during boring church services and Klan meetings.

But does anyone ever talk about Bull Connor, father of the shocker? No, it's all just racist this and segregationist that. Firehose this and doberman that. It's not fair.

Posted by: Bull Connor at March 28, 2008 12:03 PM (TFhw0)

167 You think your job is shitty?

Posted by: Dung Beetle at March 28, 2008 12:03 PM (dRy9s)

168 A masquerade at AOSHQ?

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

Posted by: Admiral Josh Painter at March 28, 2008 12:04 PM (FVif6)

169 Where 'da white woman at?

Posted by: Barack H. Obama at March 28, 2008 12:04 PM (8rnFD)

170 So, in Post #178994, how did you beat the Evil Twin Captain Kirk?

Posted by: AOS Moron at March 28, 2008 12:05 PM (MHZyq)

171 Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

Posted by: LARPer at March 28, 2008 12:06 PM (sPO/s)

172 If anyone asks for us, we're not here.

Posted by: White Women at March 28, 2008 12:06 PM (dRy9s)

173 Yeah, where the white women at?

Posted by: Janet Reno at March 28, 2008 12:06 PM (zXUuJ)

174

"Ever do it with your brother?"

You don't know the half of it, girlfriend. . .

Posted by: Marie Osmond at March 28, 2008 12:06 PM (zF6Iw)

175

"What's up with that bulldozer?"

Posted by: St. Pancake at March 28, 2008 12:07 PM (/2xR+)

176 IT'S A TRAP!

Posted by: Admiral Akbar at March 28, 2008 12:07 PM (zF6Iw)

177

You don't know the half of it, girlfriend.

Preach it sister!

Posted by: Janet Jackson at March 28, 2008 12:08 PM (zXUuJ)

178

My man Obama is the Mack Daddy of everything.

Posted by: Rev. Jeremiah Wright at March 28, 2008 12:08 PM (8rnFD)

179

That whole blind squirrel . . . nut thing?

Bullshit.

Posted by: G-Spot at March 28, 2008 12:08 PM (jjNS6)

180 Chaaaaaange!

Posted by: Zobieobama at March 28, 2008 12:09 PM (70HCY)

181 Don't you try to outdo me, fishface.

Posted by: Admiral Josh Painter at March 28, 2008 12:10 PM (FVif6)

182 I did not see this coming

Posted by: nostradamus at March 28, 2008 12:10 PM (evdj2)

183 Chaaaaaange!

Got any?

Posted by: Hobobama at March 28, 2008 12:10 PM (oRVu1)

184 "WHAT THE F&CK IS AN ALUMINUM FALCON?"

Posted by: Emperor Palpatine at March 28, 2008 12:10 PM (/2xR+)

185 < POOF! >

Me, too!!!!!!!!!! Let's trade Obama pixs!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Chris Matthews at March 28, 2008 12:10 PM (pt5od)

186 Somebody wake me up before the party's over

Posted by: Edgar Casey at March 28, 2008 12:11 PM (evdj2)

187

"So, in Post #178994, how did you beat the Evil Twin Captain Kirk?"

By deflecting tachyons through the deflector dish.

Posted by: Spock at March 28, 2008 12:11 PM (8rnFD)

188 Heeeelllllpppppp!!! I'm locked up in the basement!!! Somebody get me outta here!!!

Posted by: Obama's Middle Name at March 28, 2008 12:12 PM (jjNS6)

189 I think I need to start clearing my voice.

Posted by: fat lady at March 28, 2008 12:13 PM (m2CN7)

190 "So, in Post #178994, how did you beat the Evil Twin Captain Kirk?"

Have you ever been with a girl?

Get a life.

Posted by: William Shatner of Spades at March 28, 2008 12:13 PM (hlYel)

191
"Ever do it with your brother?"

I give them hot milk, you know. We have cookies. It's very charming.

Posted by: Michael Jackson at March 28, 2008 12:14 PM (pt5od)

192

"Have you ever been with a girl?"

No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Posted by: Sheik Yer Bootie at March 28, 2008 12:15 PM (8rnFD)

193 Attention: Warm Nuts For Rent.

Posted by: Squirrel Nutkin at March 28, 2008 12:16 PM (Z9tCp)

194

Do you know how many cocks there are in a mile?

I do. And half of it was a dirt road...

Posted by: Ashley DuPree's vagina at March 28, 2008 12:16 PM (TFhw0)

195 TJ, we need to talk about the relationship.

After I press your shirts and a game of naked twister? Oh, OK.

Sigh. You know I'm such a slave to you.

Posted by: Sally Hemings at March 28, 2008 12:17 PM (tNCt8)

196 My mother is a fish.

Posted by: Vardaman Bundren at March 28, 2008 12:18 PM (GhR1Z)

197 Did somebody say "liver"?

Posted by: Large Catfish at March 28, 2008 12:18 PM (8nB5X)

198

Where 'da black wimmez at?

Or 'da hoes?

Posted by: William Jefferson Clinton at March 28, 2008 12:19 PM (8rnFD)

199 I love white women. Especially with salt and mustard.

Posted by: Jeffery Dahmer at March 28, 2008 12:21 PM (8nB5X)

200

William Jefferson Clinton at March 28, 2008 12:19 PM

You can find them both on a certain unnamed basketball team.

Posted by: Don Imus at March 28, 2008 12:22 PM (m2CN7)

201 "We have cookies. It's very charming."

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me.

Posted by: Cookie Monster at March 28, 2008 12:22 PM (FVif6)

202 Sanfransiscacocksuckah!

Posted by: Wu at March 28, 2008 12:24 PM (kvY/O)

203 I'm on the table. Within reach.

Posted by: Banhammer at March 28, 2008 12:25 PM (7Vb+X)

204

Sally, dearest one. The shirts can wait.

The Twister cannot. You know how it is.

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 28, 2008 12:26 PM (bBVqZ)

205

If you people can't refrain from petty insults and childlike putdowns, then ban you I will.

Posted by: Allahpundit at March 28, 2008 12:27 PM (1rNdj)

206 TJ, this is what I'm talkin' 'bout! The White Man. The White Man. The White Man. Aaargh.

Posted by: Al Sharpton at March 28, 2008 12:28 PM (FVif6)

207 Seriously? You want an aquarium on the ark?

Posted by: Noah at March 28, 2008 12:29 PM (TFhw0)

208

Do have to warn you about inappropriate language here?

I will ban you.

Posted by: Allahpundit at March 28, 2008 12:31 PM (1rNdj)

209 CHAAAAAAAAAANNGE!

me

Posted by: Baby Obama at March 28, 2008 12:31 PM (qu/jV)

210 Where the fuck is my greasepaint?

Posted by: John Wayne Gaycee at March 28, 2008 12:32 PM (Zi+FQ)

211 I drink your Valu-Rite!

Posted by: Daniel Plainview at March 28, 2008 12:34 PM (4s1it)

212 Free Mumia!

Posted by: horseman at March 28, 2008 12:35 PM (uOvAE)

213 Anybody want to see my pooter?

Posted by: Brit at March 28, 2008 12:36 PM (1rNdj)

214 I have a great sense of humor. Seriously, Allah and my husband are always telling me how I crack them up all the time.

Posted by: Michele Malkin at March 28, 2008 12:36 PM (oRVu1)

215

I'm really more partial to Rock Hudson, but who can think of a snappy Rock Hudson line when they need one?

Posted by: John McClain at March 28, 2008 12:38 PM (TFhw0)

216 Yes, dear. You're hillarious. Please don't hit me.

Posted by: Mr. Malkin at March 28, 2008 12:38 PM (m6c4H)

217 Valu-Rite vodka has many many uses. On a cloth it can get out ink stains from shirts, it can cleanse and sooth a minor burn, act as a streak free glass cleaner, makes a wonderful grout cleaner, and it can wash away years of terrible memories of Uncle Bill and his nightime "sleepover adventure camp". Lots of memories, terrible memories, disturbing memories. Oh well, time to clean my .300 Win mag rifle with the 100x scope. As a mail carrier I have to get up early tomorrow.

Posted by: I always liked clowns at March 28, 2008 12:45 PM (qu/jV)

218 All you people care about is cookies and whores and dead hobos! LEAVE BARACK ALONE!

Posted by: Chris (Mascara Boy) Crocker at March 28, 2008 12:45 PM (Ya/9X)

219 It's been awhile.

How the hell are all of you?

Actually, don't bother. I don't care.

Posted by: Edward R. Murrow at March 28, 2008 12:46 PM (R8+nJ)

220 I'll show you change Obama. I'll change into little black stockings and stilleto heels and then I think we can all agree that change is good.

Posted by: Janet Jackson at March 28, 2008 12:46 PM (xAks2)

221 We are so ashamed.

Posted by: Chris' Parents at March 28, 2008 12:46 PM (FVif6)

222 Yes, dear. You're hillarious. Please don't hit me.

Hit me! Hit me! It's the only way a hot chick will touch a, sob, beta male.

Posted by: Allahpundit at March 28, 2008 12:50 PM (pt5od)

223

Way too much to forgive in this thread. You guys are on your own.

One thing before I rise up and all, could you pass me another one of those yummy wafffer thingys. They taste pretty good when you dunk them in the wine.

Posted by: Jesus H. Christ at March 28, 2008 12:51 PM (Btieu)

224 Jesus H. Christ,

No need, I'm here and on the case.

Posted by: Teh Obamahssiah at March 28, 2008 12:54 PM (hlYel)

225 You know what else tastes pretty good?

Posted by: Samantha Fox at March 28, 2008 12:55 PM (Qbv3S)

226 I'd even change for Allahpundit. I'll make him happy for once.

Posted by: Janet Jackson at March 28, 2008 12:56 PM (xAks2)

227 Oh, and going forward do me the courtesy of addressing me by my middle name, Halliburton. Thanks.

Posted by: Jesus H. Christ at March 28, 2008 12:57 PM (TFhw0)

228

I can no more condemn this thread then I can disown my great auntie Eva.

Braun.

I'm related to Eva Braun. She use to bake me cookies....and then try to shove me in the oven with them. But I still loved her. I understand she's just a typical white person.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 28, 2008 12:58 PM (m6c4H)

229

226 I'd even change for Allahpundit. I'll make him happy for once.

As long as I don't have to leave my apartment.

Posted by: Allahpundit at March 28, 2008 12:59 PM (1rNdj)

230 I'd even change for Allahpundit. I'll make him happy for once.

I got just what Arrahpundit needs.

Posted by: Hideki Matsui at March 28, 2008 01:00 PM (pt5od)

231

You see, I am America. I would not be possible anywhere in the world other then America. That's why I've allways been proud of America, my whole life. For producing me.

Before me? Meh, notsomuch.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 28, 2008 01:00 PM (m6c4H)

232 Allah, I could make you happy even that cubby hole in the back of your closet where your computer is.

Posted by: Janet Jackson at March 28, 2008 01:00 PM (xAks2)

233 I know what Allahpundit's wants. The rest of you back off.

Posted by: Tribbers!!! at March 28, 2008 01:03 PM (pt5od)

234 I'm pretty sure I fucked me three white boys at one time or another.

Posted by: Crystal Mangum at March 28, 2008 01:03 PM (2DKDE)

235 Yoo hoo! Come and get it!

*Kiss Kiss*

Posted by: Sexy, flirty Whore at March 28, 2008 01:04 PM (C4zOu)

236 Have you heard Robert Mugabe's new campaign slogan?

It's "Get Behind the Fist."

Link: http://minx.cc/?blog=86&post=254259#c1811448

"Get Behind the Fist."

I think I'm in love.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at March 28, 2008 01:04 PM (PLvLS)

237 Sounds like rape to me. I got me an election I gotta win.

Posted by: Mike Nyfong at March 28, 2008 01:04 PM (2DKDE)

238

Barack and Allah,

Forget the others. I'll make you proud to be an American. Very very proud.

Posted by: Janet Jackson at March 28, 2008 01:05 PM (xAks2)

239 I could get into that Allahpundit dude if he'd be willing to try some creative body-writing. You know, like with doodoo and stuff.

Posted by: Tawana Brawley at March 28, 2008 01:06 PM (YCVBL)

240 Somebody wake us up before you go-go.

Posted by: George Michael and The Wide Stance of Larry Craig at March 28, 2008 01:08 PM (zF6Iw)

241 That Tawana Brawley one was funny.

Posted by: pendejo grande at March 28, 2008 01:09 PM (2DKDE)

242

Hey, look at this! Britney's support check came in! I'm taking me on a Dunkin Donuts run. Anybody wanna ride shotgun?

Posted by: Kevin Federline at March 28, 2008 01:10 PM (SjUPQ)

243 A new cocktail:
3oz valu-rite vodka
3 oz Braundo� The thirst mutilator. It's what plants crave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru6p5NLXxvY&feature=related

Posted by: bartender bob at March 28, 2008 01:10 PM (qu/jV)

244

Listen, Wright, you white trash MF, I'll tell you who the hell is a Mack Daddy.

Now eat your pigeon eggs and shut the fuck up, boy!

Posted by: Rev. Manning at March 28, 2008 01:10 PM (qvT/A)

245

JackM's the hottest man alive. If he posted one more, just one more epic poem for me on Ace's, I'd beg him to marry me.

One more poem Jack. That would prove your love to me.

Posted by: Suzanne Sena at March 28, 2008 01:10 PM (f3xJa)

246

Kevin, you bastard!

That should have been me!

Posted by: Vanilla Ice at March 28, 2008 01:11 PM (m6c4H)

247 Even I think this shit is fucking gay. Butch up, sissies.

Posted by: Barney Frank at March 28, 2008 01:12 PM (e6v7s)

248

"That Tawana Brawley one was funny."

Hey, did I ever tell you the one about the white woman jogger? It'll kill ya. . .

Posted by: Al Sharpton at March 28, 2008 01:12 PM (zF6Iw)

249 Where's Both Parties? Crucify him! Crucify him!

Posted by: The Jews at March 28, 2008 01:12 PM (GwV+j)

250

I'm pretty sure we could make Allahpundit melt into floor of his tiny apartment.

Watch us as we make Obama cry. But not in the good way.

Posted by: Fox News Babes at March 28, 2008 01:13 PM (xAks2)

251 I do still curse and damn when I am indignant...

Posted by: W.S. Rosecrans at March 28, 2008 01:16 PM (Xj3ni)

252 We're recivinging word from authorities that the FBI has just taken Bigfoot into custody on child pornography charges.

Posted by: Shepherd Smith at March 28, 2008 01:16 PM (m6c4H)

253

Got a lot of reading to do so I'll fit in in my new neighborhood.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr. at March 28, 2008 01:22 PM (jjNS6)

254 GET THESE INVISIBLE FUCKING SPIDERS OFF OF ME

Posted by: E.A. Poe at March 28, 2008 01:23 PM (plsiE)

255 You're all idiot. Gosh.

Posted by: Napoleon Dynamite at March 28, 2008 01:26 PM (f3xJa)

256 Hey, John! You know what would really make Hillary and Barrack freak out and start beating each other about the skull? If you named me as your pick for Veep.

Posted by: Newt at March 28, 2008 01:28 PM (kZT4X)

257 "225 You know what else tastes pretty good?" Not Sushi

Posted by: Kate Beckinsale at March 28, 2008 01:28 PM (Lrsi6)

258 And in accordance with ancient custom, the women will all arrive dressed like whores.

About damn time you created a governor-friendly environment.

Posted by: Client #9 at March 28, 2008 01:30 PM (EjkX1)

259
LANDRU!!!

http://www.winestooge.com/landru.html

Posted by: Landru at March 28, 2008 01:37 PM (rf5CF)

260 You people are worse than me.

Posted by: Hitler at March 28, 2008 01:41 PM (uw1/g)

261

You really shouldn't fuck around with Number 9, governor. You're in way over your head, dude.

Posted by: Charlie Manson at March 28, 2008 01:41 PM (YCVBL)

262 I know damn well I'm not the only guy here who really wants a spanking from Britney Spears.

Posted by: Hugo Chavez at March 28, 2008 01:44 PM (mk9wH)

263

You know you would think I would have something better to do on a Friday afternoon.

Oh well, maybe I'll make it snow again just to make Al Gore look stupid. That never gets old.

Posted by: God at March 28, 2008 01:45 PM (uw1/g)

264 262 I know damn well I'm not the only guy here who really wants a spanking from Britney Spears.

Posted by: Hugo Chavez at March 28, 2008 01:44 PM (mk9wH)

Roger that.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 28, 2008 01:46 PM (uw1/g)

265 There's a lot of bad in this world, Danny. I know; I see it in court every day. Why, I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it . . . felt I . . . owed it to them.

Posted by: Judge Smails at March 28, 2008 01:47 PM (47+Ys)

266 Hillary,

Quit making up bullshit war stories!

Posted by: S.Beauchamp at March 28, 2008 01:47 PM (+WuMm)

267 262 I know damn well I'm not the only guy here who really wants a spanking from Britney Spears.

Posted by: Hugo Chavez at March 28, 2008 01:44 PM (mk9wH)

Trust me, it ain't worth it.

Posted by: Justin Timberlake at March 28, 2008 01:47 PM (uw1/g)

268 You know the routine, Justin. Bend over and take it.

Posted by: Britney S at March 28, 2008 01:49 PM (mk9wH)

269 John McCain, John McCain, John McCain, John McCain...

Posted by: RWS at March 28, 2008 01:51 PM (+WuMm)

270 Is that a camera?

Posted by: Britney's Vajayjay at March 28, 2008 01:52 PM (8nB5X)

271

I get spousal support. Those spankings were so worth it.

Posted by: K-Fed at March 28, 2008 01:52 PM (f3xJa)

272 Ughhhhhh

Posted by: Lurch at March 28, 2008 01:54 PM (E3XtI)

273 I know John McCain, Rev. Sharpton. John McCain is a fantasy of mine. And believe me, you're no John McCain. But you might do on a cold, lonely, Texas-winter night.

Posted by: RWS at March 28, 2008 01:54 PM (YCVBL)

274 Quit making up bullshit war stories!

Posted by: S.Beauchamp at March 28, 2008 01:47 PM (+WuMm)

Word.

Posted by: Jesse Macbeth at March 28, 2008 01:58 PM (f3xJa)

275 White power!

Posted by: Clayton Bigsby at March 28, 2008 01:58 PM (Pl9JO)

276

RWS...Just call me "Big John the Mack Daddy".

P.S. See you Tuesday.

Posted by: You-Know-Who at March 28, 2008 01:59 PM (8nB5X)

277 White Flour!

Posted by: Pillsbury Doughboy at March 28, 2008 01:59 PM (f3xJa)

278 Black power!

Posted by: Steve Erkel at March 28, 2008 02:00 PM (m6c4H)

279 I feel confused and powerless.

Posted by: Michael Jackson at March 28, 2008 02:01 PM (m6c4H)

280 Hi Michael. Want me to do that thing to you again?

Posted by: Britney S at March 28, 2008 02:01 PM (mk9wH)

281 Cork it doughboy!

Posted by: Iron Maiden's Eddie at March 28, 2008 02:01 PM (E3XtI)

282 Shut the fuck up, all of you, before I send Bolton over to rip a fart that kills you all.

Posted by: Dick Cheney at March 28, 2008 02:03 PM (94OTW)

283 You yanks have just proved it...

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever...

Posted by: David St. Hubbins at March 28, 2008 02:04 PM (i58mj)

284 ::insane smile::
So did you hear the one about the guy who got his vasectomy at Sears?
Every time he got an erection the garage door opened.

Posted by: Bob(enzyte spokesman) at March 28, 2008 02:04 PM (E3XtI)

285 I never thought I'd get rid of that headache!

Posted by: Bob's Penis at March 28, 2008 02:05 PM (E3XtI)

286 Ace,

This blog blows! Mr. Wordy McWordster!

Posted by: Allah P. at March 28, 2008 02:06 PM (+WuMm)

287 Bite me Video Boy.

Posted by: Ace at March 28, 2008 02:07 PM (+WuMm)

288 I wonder if Ace will blow me a kiss??

Posted by: Bob's Penis at March 28, 2008 02:07 PM (E3XtI)

289

That's ok RWS, we think McCain is hot too.

Posted by: Fox News Babes at March 28, 2008 02:07 PM (xAks2)

290 In fact, when we report on McCain, we don't wear panties.

Posted by: Fox News Babes at March 28, 2008 02:08 PM (xAks2)

291 ::shakes head:: ughhhhh

Posted by: Lurch at March 28, 2008 02:10 PM (E3XtI)

292 Perhaps, may I borrow some mint jelly?

Posted by: Shari Lewis at March 28, 2008 02:12 PM (Z9tCp)

293 Mmmm, sloppy ho's.

Posted by: Client No. 10 at March 28, 2008 02:13 PM (pFJgb)

294 I will smite all of you morons.

Posted by: Ceiling Cat at March 28, 2008 02:13 PM (Xj3ni)

295 Anybody interested in starring in some "art films"?

Posted by: Secret Stasi Porn Filmmaker at March 28, 2008 02:15 PM (yX30S)

296 Do you need a vagina for that?

Posted by: Chyna Doll at March 28, 2008 02:17 PM (Z9tCp)

297

Anybody interested in starring in some "art films"?

Oh me! Pick me!

Posted by: Helen Thomas at March 28, 2008 02:19 PM (f3xJa)

298

I'm really into working out!

Posted by: Jeff Goldstein at March 28, 2008 02:21 PM (+3Cf5)

299 When you think about it. We could take Ace, Allah, Jeff, and the rest of you blogger guys and make you forget the internet. We could effectively shut down the right side of the blogosophere.

Posted by: Fox News Babes at March 28, 2008 02:24 PM (xAks2)

300

I'm the only important one in this comment section.

Don't make a fuckin' maniac outta me.

Posted by: Paul Anka at March 28, 2008 02:35 PM (e3YS3)

301

Posted by: Marcel Marceau (deceased) at March 28, 2008 02:40 PM (IHbof)

302 299 Fox News Babes at March 28, 2008 02:24 PM (xAks2)

What...you guys have the unreleased super D&D v4?!

Posted by: Comic Book Guy at March 28, 2008 02:40 PM (7Vb+X)

303

Eat me, Anka. I've got sesame seeds on my buns that got more talent than you, you worthless shitbag dogfucker.

I have ham; you ARE a ham. There's a difference. So suck my pickle and tell me you love me.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at March 28, 2008 02:41 PM (e3YS3)

304 ::briefly appears as herself::
#3o3, that made me giggle my ass off!

Posted by: dragonlady474 at March 28, 2008 02:45 PM (E3XtI)

305 ::snake dances his way across the post::

Posted by: Axl Rose at March 28, 2008 02:50 PM (E3XtI)

306 ::Asks someone to change his adult diaper::

Posted by: Ozzy Osbourne at March 28, 2008 02:59 PM (7Vb+X)

307 whoooo! Check me out. Like twirly boneless chicken flanks.

Posted by: Handicapped dude from "Breakin'" at March 28, 2008 03:01 PM (Z9tCp)

308 SHARON!

Posted by: Axl Rose at March 28, 2008 03:01 PM (E3XtI)

309

"Bend over and take it."

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I hear that. . .

Posted by: Guy Ritchie at March 28, 2008 03:01 PM (zF6Iw)

310 Hey! You dumped me, remember?

Posted by: Guy Ritchie's Career at March 28, 2008 03:14 PM (yX30S)

311 Fellas, stop it! I'm exhausted!

Posted by: Ace Of Spades In-Joke at March 28, 2008 03:21 PM (1y5Vr)

312 I've fallen and I can't get up.

Posted by: Miosotis at March 28, 2008 03:21 PM (iDUVX)

313

"Bend over and take it."

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I hear that. . .

I did get nickel every time I heard that.

Actually it was quite a bit more that.

Posted by: Kristin at March 28, 2008 03:24 PM (iDUVX)

314 end of line

Posted by: Cylon Hybrid at March 28, 2008 03:25 PM (FVif6)

315 Chaaaange!!11!

Posted by: Barack "standing next to hobo with smelly clothes" Obama at March 28, 2008 03:29 PM (d6bNm)

316 Sorry Anka, I was in the back smoking a fatty.

Posted by: Joe at March 28, 2008 03:29 PM (1vUKx)

317

Number nine...number nine...number nine...

Was really me.

Posted by: john lennon at March 28, 2008 03:56 PM (fXaVA)

318

And I laughed at #303.

Does that make me a bad person?

Posted by: john lennon (deceased too) at March 28, 2008 03:58 PM (fXaVA)

319 New York you should have voted for the other John.

Posted by: John Faso at March 28, 2008 04:09 PM (iDUVX)

320 #314: Plagiarist.

Posted by: MCP at March 28, 2008 04:13 PM (IaYDo)

321 U R All Comin 2 me, if U keep dis up!

Posted by: Basement Cat at March 28, 2008 04:16 PM (IaYDo)

322 ...

Posted by: Stephen Hawking at March 28, 2008 04:18 PM (bptN3)

323 319 New York you should have voted for the other John.

But... they did! Honest!

Posted by: John Adams (1778-1854) at March 28, 2008 04:20 PM (IaYDo)

324 322 ...

Oh, sure, I do all the hard work and they call me boring, you just sit there and get all the babes!

Posted by: Carl Sagan at March 28, 2008 04:22 PM (IaYDo)

325 Christmas shopping for Mom and Dad is easy for me: they both get a Girls Gone Wild tape.

Posted by: Chelsea Clinton at March 28, 2008 04:58 PM (0AZ4a)

326 These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Posted by: Cosmo Kramer at March 28, 2008 05:15 PM (NKOmS)

327

57 You have no fucking idea. Bitch.

Sod off, you piece of marmite. It was cold enough to kill me. I spit on your gulag.

Posted by: Bon Scott at March 28, 2008 05:18 PM (NKOmS)

328 It moved

Posted by: George Castanza at March 28, 2008 05:37 PM (evdj2)

329 Noonan! Noonan!

Posted by: Greasy caddy competitor at March 28, 2008 05:44 PM (4gHqM)

330 Serenity now!!!11!!

Posted by: Mr. Costanza at March 28, 2008 05:45 PM (4gHqM)

331

Where's Mustang Sally?

Rowr.

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at March 28, 2008 07:07 PM (V5lNq)

332 Tripod, ladies. Know what I'm sayin'?

Posted by: Billy Barty at March 28, 2008 08:37 PM (9n70a)

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