Genius: Dutch Catholic Bishop Suggests All People, Including Christians And Jews, Refer To God As "Allah" To Foster "Understanding"

Good idea. Maybe we can start calling Jesus "Mohammad" and also start calling "The Holy Bible" the "Koran" while we're at it.

And then maybe we can begin calling the west "The Caliphate," to further this understanding.

Alas, we'll have to stop referring to ourselves as "men." But such adjustments in language are a small price to pay.

A Roman Catholic Bishop in the Netherlands has proposed people of all faiths refer to God as Allah to foster understanding, stoking an already heated debate on religious tolerance in a country with one million Muslims.
Bishop Tiny Muskens, from the southern diocese of Breda, told Dutch television on Monday that God did not mind what he was named and that in Indonesia, where Muskens spent eight years, priests used the word "Allah" while celebrating Mass.
"Allah is a very beautiful word for God. Shouldn't we all say that from now on we will name God Allah? ... What does God care what we call him? It is our problem."

You ever get the feeling that European establishment churches just don't care about religion all that much (particularly about the divisive Christ), and are more just social clubs and employers of last result for the drooling imbecile sons of the decrepit aristocracy?

Because I do. Just every once in a while. I know it's crazy, but I get that vibe sometimes.

You'll be happy to know that a poll about this nuanced idea drew an overwhelmingly negative response (92%), and a largely mocking one.

Sample letter to the editor:

"Sure. Lets call God Allah. Lets then call a church a mosque and pray five times a day. Ramadan sounds like fun," Welmoet Koppenhol wrote in a letter to the newspaper.

When do we get to start blowing up pizzerias? Will that be a year-long thing or only on Easter?

Posted by: Ace at 06:06 PM

Comments

1
Sorry, Ace, no Easter anymore. How do you feel about blowing up hummus factories?

Posted by: buffalo woman at August 15, 2007 06:11 PM (UOknX)

2 "Tiny Muskens"

"Tiny?" Sounds like the lickspittle has no muskens at all.

Cordially...

Posted by: Rick at August 15, 2007 06:14 PM (L/ClK)

3 How do you say Master in Hebrew again? That's got to be as good a name as any, right?

Posted by: Dave Munger at August 15, 2007 06:16 PM (F8uv1)

The "bag limit" on wives is 4, you can marry pre-teens and send any handsome rivals to martyr themselves.

Mohammed knew how to show a guy a good time.

Posted by: DANEgerus at August 15, 2007 06:17 PM (J8yxJ)

5 And I shall call my Cat "Dog", and my dog "Cat" to ease their tensions!

Yes, yes.

And I shall call all lesbian vaginas "Penis" to ease their tensions as well!

Genius!

Posted by: Electric ferret at August 15, 2007 06:18 PM (U5cqs)

I shall hereafter refer to "pizza" as "spinach".

Also, "gettin some on the side" is now "playing golf", and "vodka" is "mineral water".

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 15, 2007 06:21 PM (pzen5)

7 Don't expect an atheist to call bishops genius' geniai whatever.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 15, 2007 06:27 PM (QTv8u)

8 When arabs pronounce allah with their characteristic guttural pronunciation, it's sickening.

Posted by: dave at August 15, 2007 06:28 PM (f4Q7K)

9 Does this mean that it will be acceptable to start strapping bombs on Fwench Poodles and having them blow up Market Days on Arab Street?

Posted by: Mr Minority at August 15, 2007 06:31 PM (gwfvN)

10 Yeah, that suggestion is sure to go over well with our new Pontiff.

And this is a holy day of obligation, the Assumption. What should we call that? It gives me a heretical migraine just thinking about all this. apostasy even.

Posted by: joeindc44 at August 15, 2007 06:32 PM (za2Xz)

11 This is brilliant! I'll have to use this as support for my campaign at work to make everyone call me The Queen.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 15, 2007 06:36 PM (8tY5u)

12 ...to make everyone call me The Queen.

Queen Alex the Chick!

That has a nice ring to it.

Posted by: Mr Minority at August 15, 2007 06:42 PM (gwfvN)

13 He's just one person with a bad idea.

No reason to badmouth the "European establishment church" or declare them "social clubs and employers of last result for the drooling imbecile sons of the decrepit aristocracy".

Any claims we in the United States have of moral superiority over any other religion belongs to the one, true Christian Church (the only one that actually traces its lineage all the way back to St. Peter).

So if you dislike the Church... You might as well start calling Jesus Allah.. Because you do not respect Christ's gift to the world.

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 06:52 PM (XFL9p)

14 Yeah, it's understanding they want.

Posted by: splashtc at August 15, 2007 06:56 PM (zRX++)

15 I suggest we call for the Muslims to call Allah "God" to better foster understanding. After all, they're outnumbered by people who do not use that word to refer to God.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at August 15, 2007 07:02 PM (wmgz8)

16 So if you dislike the Church... You might as well start calling Jesus Allah.. Because you do not respect Christ's gift to the world.

Oops,
I think your sarcasm detector needs to be recalibrated, because you sound as if you thought Ace was being serious.

And if you can't take the Roman Catholic Church being razed upon, then you might want to rethink about visiting this moron blog, where all religions/Christian Denominations take some hits.

Posted by: Mr Minority at August 15, 2007 07:03 PM (gwfvN)

Is Tiny a pedophile? (...not that Mohammad has anything against that...)

Posted by: everydayjoe at August 15, 2007 07:03 PM (FdrtF)

18 Can I get me some of that action?

President John Kerry.

That's my title now.

President John Kerry.

Posted by: President John Kerry at August 15, 2007 07:09 PM (5ksba)

19 Oh, it is *ON* now, you ketchup slurpin' bitch!

Posted by: President Al Gore at August 15, 2007 07:10 PM (5ksba)

i used to credit the dutch with being the most progressive people on the planet given their atitudes on soft drugs and euthanasia. more given the majority calvinist religion. but this is just so way out there as to be surrender.

Posted by: dr. akim ullshitbay at August 15, 2007 07:14 PM (hVxY9)

21 Sure. I suppose I am ratcheted up. All the lefty blogs are crowing about how "Fox news IP addresses have been found scrubbing wikipedia entires" And it's the same shit over here except that the UN is doing it or NYT is doing it. And then I'm listening to some crap on NPR about how great Giuliani is and how he's gonna walk away with the GOP nomination.

And I just feel like the fix is in. It's all a bunch of BS. Nobody knows a damned thing about what is going on this country. It's all just being given away.

And all the people... even conservatives... just kind of sit back and goof off, getting all giddy over trivial, made-for-tv scandals while the treasury is getting looted, our people are getting buried under debt, and our sovereignty (both national and individual) is being steadily chipped away.

Maybe I need my own blog. Maybe I need to drink less coffee. But I can feel the malaise.

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 07:14 PM (XFL9p)

not that Mohammad has anything against that

That would be an interesting inclusion in MM's blogging.

NTMHAAT

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 15, 2007 07:21 PM (QTv8u)

23 Does this mean that it will be acceptable to start strapping bombs on Fwench Poodles and having them blow up Market Days on Arab Street?

No, but when some jackass starts putting bombs into hemp shopping bags at local organic farmer's markets, call me. I'll have to think really hard about tempering my schadenfreude.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 15, 2007 07:34 PM (tVbxd)

I think this is a good idea.

I also think that some of you should suck a dick so you can understand homosexuality.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at August 15, 2007 07:43 PM (QnMAC)

I've thought about converting to radical wahabbist Islam.

There are some perks. As I see it, you get to have 3 wives, and smack em around if they talk too much. You're not expected to behave rationally, and if someone pisses you off, all you have to do is shout "Allahu'Akbar!" and you can assault them, pretty much with impugnity in most parts of Europe. You also get coveted Minorty Status.

I'm not so hot on praying 5 times a day, and I'll be damned if you get between me and my bacon. Really it was the whole 'no booze' thing that took it off the table.

Same with FLDS mormonism, unfortunately.

It's all well and good to have 3 women, but without beer I dunno it's more of a curse then a blessing isn't it?

Posted by: Entropy at August 15, 2007 07:49 PM (HgAV0)

26 If you are Giuliani.... You can practice polygamy, procure abortions, celebrate "pride", confiscate guns, and make millions lobbying for foreign contractors to build and own the NAFTA superhighway.

AND you get to call yourself a Republican. (And you can still drink beer and eat bacon).

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 07:57 PM (XFL9p)

27 Any claims we in the United States have of moral superiority over any other religion belongs to the one, true Christian Church (the only one that actually traces its lineage all the way back to St. Peter).

Them's fightin' words!

Posted by: Martin Luther at August 15, 2007 08:04 PM (5xnZj)

28 And, I forgot to mention, you get the fawning endorsement from the MSM... all the way from the pseudo-right Fox News to the far left NPR. It's so miraculous, I'm might just convert to Giulainism?

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 08:06 PM (XFL9p)

29 No offense, but Martin Luther was on the right track with his proposed reforms. But he let his ego and his animosity towards the church get the best of him... The Lutherans could have stayed in the Church. They are like 99% Catholic....although they have skewed themselves a bit more in recent years.

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 08:10 PM (XFL9p)

30 Bishop "Tiny" is retiring in a few weeks for "medical" reasons. Ordained a priest in 1962, he appears to be a product of Dutch Sixties alternative Catholicism: anti-Western, guilt-ridden anti-colonialism (he spent several years in Indonesia), and anti-establishment (anti-Vatican) whatever-floats-your-boat theology.

Posted by: mrp at August 15, 2007 08:12 PM (DWUiE)

31 Martin Luther was on the right track with his proposed reforms

Thanks a lot, how about lifting that Papal Bull of Excommunication. Its been 487 years, let bygones be bygones, especially since you've adopted most of my reforms.

Posted by: Martin Luther at August 15, 2007 08:15 PM (5xnZj)

32 Sorry, Martin. The problem wasn't your reforms. It was your willful disobedience to the church and your desire to provoke a schism. Now, there is some evidence that you were mentally ill. Plus, there is still the matter of "consubstantiation."

Posted by: Oops at August 15, 2007 08:21 PM (XFL9p)

33 It was your willful disobedience to the church and your desire to provoke a schism.

Indeed, Leo, the bishop of Rome, needed a good schism, up the side of his head. A little closer to the Roman emperor that the suffering Christ he was.

Posted by: Martin Luther at August 15, 2007 08:24 PM (5xnZj)

34 Queen Alex the Chick!

That has a nice ring to it.

Doesn't it just? And I would be a benevolent ruler, one who acts for the good. Hey, my good is still *a* good.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 15, 2007 08:25 PM (8tY5u)

Insty, DOES NOT! curse in the main page often, but this very story made him do so.

KILLS ME!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 15, 2007 08:34 PM (QTv8u)

36 > I suggest we call for the Muslims to call Allah "God" to better foster understanding.

For once there is a real opportunity for Moslems and Christians to compromise! We can all call him YHWH/IAOUE, the God of Israel, and I dare say that few of us Christians would object in the slightest. But I fear the Moslems may not be as cooperative.

Posted by: The Chap in the Deerstalker Cap at August 15, 2007 08:44 PM (o5IYZ)

YHWH/IAOUE

.....

Eh?

Posted by: Entropy at August 15, 2007 08:45 PM (HgAV0)

38 I ate too much yesterday and I took a wicked serious Allah this morning that nearly killed me.

Posted by: eman at August 15, 2007 08:47 PM (F/DIG)

39 Is this bishop by any chance a catcher?

Posted by: ricpic at August 15, 2007 08:54 PM (0FRi9)

40 Entropy, IAOUE is Clement of Alexandria's rendering in Greek of the name of the Jewish God. Pronunciation-wise, it is more or less identical to the more familiar "Yahweh" -- just a different, and perhaps intriguing, way of looking at the same thing.

Posted by: The Chap in the Deerstalker Cap at August 15, 2007 08:56 PM (o5IYZ)

41 Shouldn't the proper translation of "Allah" be "Satan"?

Posted by: Master Shake at August 15, 2007 08:58 PM (vFJf9)

42 Dammit, you know what? I am Spartacus! HA!

Posted by: not actually Spartacus at August 15, 2007 09:03 PM (XWJh5)

43 I just want you guys to start pronouncing my name right.

Posted by: Jenjis Khan at August 15, 2007 09:49 PM (9V0JT)

44 I just want you guys to start pronouncing my name right.

We down here in Texas have no problem pronouncing your name correctly.

That would be Gang-gus K-hand right?

Posted by: Mr Minority at August 15, 2007 10:13 PM (gwfvN)

45 Dammit, you know what? I am Spartacus! HA!

You can't Spartacus, because I AM Spartacus!

Posted by: Tbe Real Spartacus! Not the Phony one at August 15, 2007 10:15 PM (gwfvN)

46 From this day forth, extending the middle finger of each hand and waving them about shall be the new form of greeting at all times. So shall it be. In accordance with The Prophecy.
I hope HMC (Holy Mother Church) will someday bring back the old-school excommunication process, where all of the symbols of a bishop's office as shepherd-- -the episcopal ring, the mitre, the crozier and the coat of arms would be taken away and given to better men for safekeeping. Rip his priests' collar off of his neck and send him away. Unlikely, but then Pope Benedict has ordered the reintroduction of the Tridentine Mass starting in September, so anything could happen. It's an exciting time to be a Catholic.
/maybe the Spanish Inquisition wasn't such a bad thing, overall.....

Posted by: Verity Kindle at August 15, 2007 10:48 PM (35hOM)

47 From this day forth, extending the middle finger of each hand and waving them about shall be the new form of greeting at all times. So shall it be. In accordance with The Prophecy.
I hope HMC (Holy Mother Church) will someday bring back the old-school excommunication process, where all of the symbols of a bishop's office as shepherd-- -the episcopal ring, the mitre, the crozier and the coat of arms would be taken away and given to better men for safekeeping. Rip his priests' collar off of his neck and send him away. Unlikely, but then Pope Benedict has ordered the reintroduction of the Tridentine Mass starting in September, so anything could happen. It's an exciting time to be a Catholic.
/maybe the Spanish Inquisition wasn't such a bad thing, overall.....

Posted by: Verity Kindle at August 15, 2007 10:49 PM (35hOM)

Allah-damned tree hugging hippies, just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Check out a simple Arabic calligraphy of Allah.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Allah.svg

Now tell me that doesn't look like boobies.

Posted by: darkbhudda at August 15, 2007 11:05 PM (rsksa)

49 43 I just want you guys to start pronouncing my name right.

OK: Moshe Dayan

Moved: that Mayor Nagin be put in charge of the Breda Dykes. Any seconds?

Has anybody IM'd Ratzi about this boyo?

Posted by: Death and friend at August 15, 2007 11:44 PM (lCheg)

50 I dunno. I believe my association of "Allah" with a nebbishy, socially-awkward blogger is permanent.

Well, at least until he finds a girlfriend.

Posted by: someone at August 16, 2007 12:00 AM (TXnhk)

51 I didn't know Catholic bishops even read HotAir. Pretty cool for AP, though.

Posted by: km at August 16, 2007 02:31 AM (4qwm7)

"Sorry, Martin. The problem wasn't your reforms. It was your willful disobedience to the church and your desire to provoke a schism."

There's also the 487 years worth of back tithing you owe + interest + penalties ...

.... we'll get back to you.

Posted by: SMW at August 16, 2007 06:06 AM (8+cBB)

"There's also the 487 years' worth of back tithing you owe + interest + penalties. . ."

And the fact you were playing "can you find the crozier in my robes?" with a nun tends to torque us off, too. Should have just nailed your daughter, like the rest of us.

Posted by: Pope Alexander VI at August 16, 2007 10:13 AM (zF6Iw)

54 Hey, this is fun!

In the interest of fostering understanding, we can change lots of things:

"God" = "Allah"
"Democrats" = "neo-cons"
"Ace of Spades" = "feministing"
"Krispy Kreme original glazed" = "healthful snack"

What's not to like?

Posted by: Jen Doe at August 16, 2007 10:48 AM (ywLCw)

55 Bishop "Tiny" is retiring in a few weeks for "medical" reasons.

Acute idiocy and advanced moronism.

Posted by: MegaTroopX at August 16, 2007 01:11 PM (Tdatz)

56 Hey, Oops, I trace my lineage all the way back to Peter too. What the hell, why not? Why is it that people seem to think "bride of Christ" means, "kickass spokesman for God who can just make stuff up and it's OK?" Tell it to the prophets. She's called His bride because that's what she behaves like, twisting every little thing He ever said and constantly trying to userp His authority. For that not to be the case, Itallians would have to be spiritually superior to Jews by nature. Anyone want to assert that?

Posted by: Dave Munger at August 16, 2007 02:57 PM (F8uv1)

Hey,

Instead of calling God "Allah" how about everyone calling God "Yahwah"? And instead of calling "Hamas" and "Hezbollah" we start calling them "Psychotic Killers"? Sounds like a good start.

Posted by: HCS at August 17, 2007 12:55 AM (vPMtq)

58 I wonder if this clown has ever read about the Ottoman Empire? Better yet, I wonder if this guy has been hitting the hash bars a bit too much over the years. This guy obviously has a hard time reading what the Pope has to say about Europe having "issues" with moral and religious dilution. I got it, maybe he can go down to Tehran and continue preaching to all the Catholics there. <sarcasm> Oh - both of them are in hiding after their families heads were chopped off? Bummer.. </sarcasm>

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